Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Emily, and I'm an anomaly chaos incarnate and
I might be the cause of the end of humanity.
Listen to isfat Archives, a creative typo production wherever you
get your podcasts, and follow along as my friends and
I try to save the world from well me.
Speaker 2: The isfat Archives.
Speaker 3: In the year twenty seven fourteen, a new squad of
Opera Datis was chosen by the College of Illusion. These
fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at every
opportunity today, still working together because really, who else would
work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune. If
you have a problem, if no one else can help,
and if you can find them, maybe you can.
Speaker 4: Hire the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 5: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 6: Fell Zoni, Jess Owen as a Dera Globe, Michael Cole
as ourag.
Speaker 4: And Jesse Wicks as Phil Cliver Lance Nico Rodriguez as
your DM.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 4: Okay, when last we left our heroes.
Speaker 7: The Prison of Townsville.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the Prison of Townsville is actually winning right now
in the poll for the names. Yeah, yeah, that's great
love it. You had given the safe word and you
were walking up the stairs to get to Ward Newtoniums.
You come before his office to give him a debrief
and ready to check yourself out of the prison and whatnot.
And you walk in the door and he's sitting there
and he's like, oh, hello, welcome back. This was quick
and unexpected.
Speaker 5: She said, yeah, that's us.
Speaker 8: Well, okay, does he have a high ceiling so I
can jump into the room.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes he does.
Speaker 8: I'm gonna jump in and bump my head on the ceiling.
Speaker 4: You're laying down his Just jump laterally and just get
in there with a quickness. You all look like you've
gone through some major life changes since you went downstairs.
Speaker 8: I'm blaming cricket.
Speaker 9: Now, hey, do you have any ruby glasses in your
uniform drawer?
Speaker 4: Really, let's see if he does. I'm gonna say a
ten or eleven or twelve, and he'll have something that
he can cobble together for you.
Speaker 9: I'll take three glasses.
Speaker 4: That's a six. Nope, I'm sorry, I don't. Normally I
do have weird scientists pick items to combine to random stuff.
But unfortunately I don't have any ruby glasses.
Speaker 5: Shame.
Speaker 7: I'm still floating right, Yeah, I had the meat cape
and I was yloating.
Speaker 4: Do you think somebody was guiding you like a kite?
Speaker 8: Probably me because I usually do.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, she's used to the leash thing.
Speaker 9: I mean to laser that off for you.
Speaker 4: I don't know. We'll talk to me. Think keeping them
the flesh cape. So what happened? That's extra, So.
Speaker 5: It's too much to recount. There's a time vortext. We
were down there for years.
Speaker 9: Oh he's lying.
Speaker 4: It was drugs.
Speaker 9: You did drugs, so many drugs.
Speaker 8: I died.
Speaker 9: You guys are not going to keep in the contra band.
Speaker 4: Out and you died from the drugs.
Speaker 8: I don't know what it was from.
Speaker 9: Well, the drugs brought her back. I don't know if
they killed her, but they brought her back.
Speaker 8: With the library though. Something about boiling water in the library.
Speaker 5: I've got wings.
Speaker 4: That's that's a cape. You've got.
Speaker 8: Flush cape gives you wings.
Speaker 4: Oh good, we're making a soft drinker, of course, energy drinks.
Cape comes in six different flavors. Burnt slightly, it comes
in six different flavors. Just the one smell marathon runner.
It tastes like sweat.
Speaker 5: Deer.
Speaker 8: No, it's a dira.
Speaker 4: Oh dera.
Speaker 8: Flush cape by adra.
Speaker 5: You well, listen, Morton, We uh, we got what we
came for, so we're gonna leave you to it.
Speaker 4: So, wait, what happened downstairs? What what state is my
prison in?
Speaker 5: About the same as it was? I think, you know,
there's more or less. There's gangs that are fighting each
other for dominance, just like before.
Speaker 9: But but but they do have access to the super
power juice.
Speaker 5: Now, yeah, there's that some kind of collect Cooper power juice.
Speaker 9: Ye in the basement.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and we someone down there that you didn't warn
us about. You probably should have know about the basement.
Speaker 4: I don't know about the basement. Remember you were going
to tell me about it when you came back. You
said you were going to get the scroll of the
Infinite Scroll of Abjuration in the basement. And I said
there was no basement, Oh yeah, and you said there is.
We'll find it and then we'll come back and tell
you what went down.
Speaker 5: That's about how.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we found the scroll.
Speaker 5: We came.
Speaker 9: And now the Warlocks have superpower juice. And also there's
another guy down there who's like a demon thing, and
that's you're caught up.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, there was. There was a demon thing down there.
I don't know, guys, the.
Speaker 4: Term him is him?
Speaker 7: Yeah, well we didn't actually ask him his pronouns.
Speaker 5: So is it him more of a name than hunter?
That's true, So.
Speaker 4: You don't know the name of the demon creature.
Speaker 9: It was trying to spray us with super power juice,
so we kind of just ran away.
Speaker 4: He gave me wings.
Speaker 9: I'm still a cape.
Speaker 4: I'm flapping the fun out of it.
Speaker 7: It's fucking wings.
Speaker 9: I'm I'm definitely lasering that off later, and they.
Speaker 5: Didn't less flapping, more of an undulation like a manta ray.
Speaker 4: You might be able to control that little maybe if
I grab him with my toes.
Speaker 9: It's really hard to see through this microwave door.
Speaker 5: I mean.
Speaker 4: Your rain hat is still so that's working.
Speaker 7: How we are work like a wet welder.
Speaker 4: Speaking of which, where is Percy outside?
Speaker 5: Probably?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you didn't bring a Percy in with you.
Speaker 9: You need him to try and pray off my hat again.
Speaker 4: Pray off your hat again?
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, it's supposed to be a dispelling specialist.
Speaker 4: So is it a warlock down or is it some
nightmarish fiend? Like a Magnus Devlin or something.
Speaker 5: I mean, it wasn't Magnus devil in, But.
Speaker 9: I don't know if it's a warlock or I think
it might have been another world.
Speaker 5: We seemed a little other than worldweve that's true. Hmmmm,
maybe it's. Oh, it's a patron.
Speaker 9: We we we did, We did kill no several Joe, Yeah, Joe,
there are some dead warlocks.
Speaker 5: Oh man, there there there are fewer warlocks. It was
you don't have as many prisoners anymore.
Speaker 8: Saved your some money on the food budget.
Speaker 9: It was unavoidable, cake, it would have been annoying to avoid,
so we didn't.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I mean warlocks, right.
Speaker 4: I mean we have them here to not kill them.
Speaker 5: M you should have let them know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Did they initiate the fight?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Do you have cameras? No, Yes, they did.
Speaker 4: It was all though.
Speaker 9: They tried so hard to stop them so many times.
Speaker 5: So there's you know, a little bit of a power
vacuum and some struggles going on down there. But it'll
be it'll, it'll balance out, it'll it'll work itself out.
I wouldn't worry about.
Speaker 4: It, all right, And those are the only fatalities down
below for now, pretty sure. And this chemical X was
it it's from the basement where you found the scroll.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's where well.
Speaker 9: I don't know if it's from there, but that's where
that is.
Speaker 5: That's where it's interesting.
Speaker 9: It seems kind of like it's from the other world.
Speaker 7: Well, I'm not exactly sure where it got piped in from.
Speaker 9: That's true.
Speaker 5: You had a lot of it.
Speaker 4: That it was.
Speaker 9: It was so much. But the good news is for
us at least this is all your problem now, so
that's great.
Speaker 4: I'd like to say that it was pleasure doing business
with you all, but it sounds like it was a mistake.
Speaker 9: Well, i'd like to say that you had glasses for me,
but I guess we're all disappointed.
Speaker 7: I'm floating upside down in circles.
Speaker 8: I just pull on your leash occasionally bring you down.
Speaker 4: Well, it's just like kind of popping me around like we.
Speaker 5: Do.
Speaker 4: Any of you need medical attention before I take you
back up to the top floor.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I would like to not be a cricket anymore.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you could do something about these effects here of
the chemical X that would be appreciated. That would be great.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm not sure what is in the medics wheelhouse here,
But I can take you up to the medic and
see what they can do or the try.
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe like a break enchantment spell or something like that.
Speaker 4: All right, well, uh, no spell casting here in the prison,
but right right, yeah, I can take you up to
the medic and see what they say.
Speaker 5: Maybe they can like surgically remove the cape and the hat.
Speaker 9: Maybe also the warlocks. The warlocks do have the magic cigarettes.
Speaker 4: Now, magic cigarettes, Yes, you gave them tens.
Speaker 9: There might be a little magic.
Speaker 4: That's all it is.
Speaker 5: It's not really something to worry about. I don't think.
I mean, it's just cigarettes. You smoke them, they'll be gone,
or they'll trade them for each other. Who knows what
they do.
Speaker 4: And you say there's no available soldiers left in the
abduration nation to come and assist should we needed.
Speaker 5: There are evocation soldiers.
Speaker 4: I don't think they're going to be as helpful.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's proba true.
Speaker 7: All right, Well, I wouldn't think they're as fond of
warlocks as you are.
Speaker 5: They're not.
Speaker 4: But they're also invaders, so I'm not sure we can
trust them with especially if you say there's yeah, superpower
making chemicals below seems like we stored that here for
a reason.
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: Yeah. But so the the being we found down there
with the chemical acts, that's not on your list of
prisoners or whatever when you take role, you know you're
not missing one. Ever, No, how could it have gotten there? Yeah,
you know, maybe it wasn't stored there, maybe it brought
it with it, or.
Speaker 7: Maybe maybe it was there before the prison.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's above my pay grade, I suppose, so, so
it's you don't need to worry about it.
Speaker 4: Well, but now the warlocks have superpowers?
Speaker 5: No, no, I don't. They were all up in the kitchen,
so they didn't go in the basement.
Speaker 4: I thought they were. I thought we left the basement
up from them.
Speaker 9: Yeah, and you told them, yeah, we sent them to
the basement with the super powers for sure.
Speaker 5: To do that.
Speaker 8: Sounds like there's a whole lot of your problem. We
did what we anyway, Listen to me.
Speaker 10: I was just floating, Okay, well, follow them be to
the medic Thanks, good luck with that.
Speaker 5: And you know, you should really take this time to
reflect on how you from this prison.
Speaker 8: Because you just let us walls in here for us
to have to.
Speaker 5: Go down there and make deals with all these warlocks
in order to get to the basement. That's kind of ridiculous.
Speaker 9: Not much of a warden, I mean, it's it just
it feels like your whole job is to like make
sure the place is secure, and having a whole level
that they could have accessed at any time for that
superpower juice that you didn't even know about, feels irresponsible.
Speaker 5: It does. And the fact that you know the warlocks
are just all mingling around down there out of control.
Just the only control you have is that they're down there.
Speaker 9: With magic cigarettes. I will not I'm wet and I
have a laser face. We're all gonna be miserable.
Speaker 4: That's the rule.
Speaker 9: If I'm suffering, we're all suffering.
Speaker 8: Fair, nothing new about that.
Speaker 9: I will unheal you right now. I could gaslight you
the other way.
Speaker 4: Just stabber, I'm unhealing you with my meat cape.
Speaker 9: I won't take that meat cape off you so fast.
Speaker 4: Please do don't let me open this microwave.
Speaker 5: All right.
Speaker 4: So he leads you to the mat and he's like,
all right, well, team, this is medic Hanky. Again. Hanky
is not able to heal you magically in any way,
but maybe he could patch you up. I think I've
got to go downstairs now and clean up your mess.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds like your job.
Speaker 4: Good goodbye. I hope to never see you again.
Speaker 5: He probably won't.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I doubt it can give you like a ten
percent chance of making it back up?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 8: We did a dear ever eat.
Speaker 7: She was like starving since celebrary.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think you guys did eat in the
cafeteria in the prison. Okay, Well I don't know that
ouag did, but he doesn't need to eat. He was
just the panda trying to.
Speaker 7: Go into the back room, and I was causing the distraction.
Speaker 9: Yeah, he got slapped in the face with mashed potatoes.
Speaker 7: That's I had a bad time with mash potatoes.
Speaker 4: All right, So, oh my, hello, what's wrong with you now?
Come here?
Speaker 7: Freaking cricket that's his first name.
Speaker 4: Last name is Panky.
Speaker 5: Just could use some you know, patching up is all?
Speaker 8: Okay?
Speaker 4: Well, I've got some band aids.
Speaker 9: Do you have any like out of Blake? I don't
know how duty gemstones.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I got I do not I've got a
super goblin band aid or a spider goblin band aid.
Speaker 8: I want the spider goblin band aid.
Speaker 5: You don't have sponge goblin.
Speaker 4: Oh let me look in the drawer. Oh, there's one left,
but it looks like it's only sticky on one half
of the bad.
Speaker 5: That's fine. I didn't get hurt, so I don't need
both halfs.
Speaker 4: Okay, here you go.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Did you come in all malformed like this?
Speaker 5: No, that happened here. So if there's anything you can
do for my compatriots here, it'd be you know this
guy with the eyes that oven door, that that oven
door that's not just for funsies. Won't you look at
the ceiling and move that aside real quick?
Speaker 4: Oh my, you're a person, not a construct.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, he is not an impliance impact weir.
Speaker 4: M.
Speaker 8: I tried to warm up my hot pocket and he
turned me into a fiery cricket. Right, just kidding. No,
just like pix sss.
Speaker 5: The flesh cape there that that could go. The legs
need to be reversed.
Speaker 4: Well, unfortunately I do not have the power to do that.
But what I will tell you is that I have
two friends that might be able to help you out.
Speaker 5: Oh who are they?
Speaker 4: Oh? One is my old friend marsh He's up in
the far north at the crypt of Saints.
Speaker 5: And you think he's old.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, Marsh is a tottal.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, there's a long way press boat.
Speaker 4: And then the other one is much closer. That's Cherry
and they're in the town of Bedouve, while the Crypto
Saints is much farther away. Bedove is mu it's on
the other side of the lake. If you have a boat,
you could maybe go there, or if you go back
to town, you could take your horse and carriage and
make good time. We'll probably just use the meat caper.
I can give you this in the meantime. And he
adds a skirt to Adira.
Speaker 5: Just just cover those up.
Speaker 4: And probably this too, and hands a skirt to Rag.
Speaker 5: Got one.
Speaker 4: I'll just wrap the caper. Gross.
Speaker 5: I see it's got like hairs growing out of it.
Speaker 4: Sparse.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're not like fur, just like you know, arm
hair here and there, like not everywhere.
Speaker 4: It's wrinkly. It is just like ball sack material stretch
super sobey that's horrible.
Speaker 9: I like I like that you still have the meat
cape despite the fact that you can literally just change forms.
Speaker 4: You like that he's he is changed formed. Oh whatever,
he changes it just follows him. Yeah, that's wonderful. It's
like it's like the antlers. Uh and and this is
missing ear.
Speaker 9: This is perfect because you could turn into just objects now, right,
so you could.
Speaker 4: Just you could just turn into like a wooden board.
Speaker 5: Across.
Speaker 4: He comes with a he comes with a sail.
Speaker 9: You can be the boat.
Speaker 4: Boat.
Speaker 9: Great, I'm a mimic.
Speaker 4: Now your cape is just called the rag. Now it's
just instead of a rag, it's just whatever you are
then ragand a boat boat rag?
Speaker 8: Oh well, uh.
Speaker 9: I hate this prison and everyone in let's leave.
Speaker 5: Yeah, hanky, thanks for the sponge Goblin band aid, well
for half a sponge with Goblin bandy.
Speaker 4: You have a lollipop? Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, let
me get in the drawer for lollipops and he pulls out.
Let's see how good the lollipop is, shall we.
Speaker 5: It's unwrapped and.
Speaker 4: Hey, that's a ten. That's a tent on the dice.
It's delicious. It's a pulls it out.
Speaker 9: O're rolling tens for lollipops. Popera glasses, got it?
Speaker 4: It's a bump. They just don't lie. DM is rigged,
rigged rag all right? Well, uh I appear to have
done all that I can with whatever this is. Thank you.
I'm gonna take a couple of gloves and.
Speaker 7: Tongue tongue depressors.
Speaker 4: Just stealing out of his drawer. You're looking for a lot, Yeah,
looking the other way.
Speaker 7: Those tubs and those are not for your ears.
Speaker 4: Goodness, good news, it's a suppository. Talk about the lollipops.
No God, no God, please, no, no, no.
Speaker 8: No, So we can check out of this prison.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, let's let's make our way back to that
that entrance we came Yeah, yeah, do.
Speaker 4: Our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
Nico again. If you'd like to skip the ads next time,
as well as support our show, you should check out
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fools quest dot com. And now that the commercials are
out of the way, it's time to dive back into
the foolishness. So you guys head back up to the
door and cough. That's the signal to get out.
Speaker 11: You know, we had a special knock, didn't we pineapples,
my apple, No, that was what the other we told
Percy would use a special knock, But I don't think
we ever discussed what the knock would be.
Speaker 8: It was just the word knock.
Speaker 9: I'm just gonna laser it output if it doesn't help
it soon.
Speaker 4: So all right, so Psycli, So you guys go up
and you knock.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, give the old shaven haircut and two bits.
Speaker 4: All right, we're gonna need strength checks from everyone. You're
behind sealed stone walls. I'm gonna knock with my symbol
eleven really wow. Ten okay, I rolled an eight, so
seven yeah, eight eight okay. So everyone is successful, and
you all knock in rhythm at the same time. You
didn't work out a rhythm, but the knock is so
loud that Percy just assumes it's you. After a few moments,
you hear the door begin to open and swing out
towards in his direction, and you can see the light
of day again as you walk out of the prison
of Alca celts.
Speaker 5: Ah, Percy, I'm glad you remembered the secret knock.
Speaker 2: Oh right, it's good to say you.
Speaker 9: Yeah you too, Hey, pray my hat on.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Uh, pray me like that, you know, being a
being a the spelling expert, maybe you can help out.
Uh o ragon right.
Speaker 4: Here, we have issues a little bit as well as Bill.
Speaker 2: Oh no, well let me say what I can do.
Bring me your head care.
Speaker 5: Uh smoke one of these?
Speaker 4: OKAYU secasting.
Speaker 2: Oh I've never done this before.
Speaker 5: It's fine.
Speaker 8: All the cool kids.
Speaker 4: Takes out a little made it for him, lights the
match and he's like, oh.
Speaker 8: I'm still a torch.
Speaker 4: He could have just lights it on the pill. He's
afraid of you. So the ones we got in the
kitchen isn't in hals?
Speaker 2: Am I doing it? Yeah? It seems like my Martha's
going to be so disappointed.
Speaker 8: We won't tell her.
Speaker 5: Yes, blame it on me.
Speaker 2: It's funny, all right, I'll say Eddie did it. They
made me do it.
Speaker 4: Beer pressure all right. So that is a natural eleven
plus his two plus the one from the cigarette, so
that is fourteen. Right, all the curses are going. No,
the one for the hat comes off.
Speaker 8: You're not wet anymore.
Speaker 4: You're not wet anymore. It's the hat starts to stop.
Do you feel this rain stop dripping down on your
ears and can't really see much behind the ruby red
thing because they're behind the oh easy bake oven. Yeah, yeah,
the front door. So but he takes off the hat
and puts it in your hands and says.
Speaker 2: Probably don't want to wear the anymore.
Speaker 4: Nope, I know just what to do with it.
Speaker 9: Leave this door open, and I'm gonna run down and
i'm gonna set it down on Plutonium's desk, and I'm
gonna write a note that says, for Plutonium, you're welcome,
and then leave. That's his hat.
Speaker 4: Now you can have it.
Speaker 5: Uh, hey, Bill, you want to try these gloves on?
Speaker 4: Do you still have a magic item?
Speaker 7: I still have the Okay, okay, don't you have the
fork and the indestructible fork.
Speaker 4: I thought you traded the fork away. You back that? Yeah,
you did give it, but then you grabbed it back.
Speaker 5: Oh pick a nick basket with five apples.
Speaker 8: We have apples set.
Speaker 9: Yeah, we do still have the apples that they don't
know what do.
Speaker 4: I'm not sure what they do though.
Speaker 7: What you eat one?
Speaker 8: I was going to ask what they did.
Speaker 9: I've got nothing but bad results from everything. I'm not
touching the fucking apple.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: This came from like a mysterious guy and a mysterious doctor.
I mean, there's no red flex, so I'm just treed
that ap.
Speaker 4: Yea, they're probably sterile men.
Speaker 9: Rowing around the boats and distributing food is no way.
Speaker 8: That is why I asked if I was still hungry,
because I was going to eat the apple.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you eat it. She'll be fine.
Speaker 9: She's got a strong constitution.
Speaker 5: Give it to Mike. He he'll eat anything.
Speaker 8: I do have a strong constitution.
Speaker 9: See all in agreement.
Speaker 8: Well, Percy's doing so well. Give me the damn apples.
Let me eat one.
Speaker 4: Do you eat an apple?
Speaker 8: I'm going to eat an apple?
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, Okay, he was way too trying to see
my notebook.
Speaker 2: Nope, I didn't.
Speaker 4: Let me scroll back up real quick to the random
roll table.
Speaker 9: The doctor downstairs now has to run away.
Speaker 4: Hooray.
Speaker 8: Ok do you have to roll to see how well
I eat the apple? Oh?
Speaker 4: No, the apple just works.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So you eat your apple works, and for a moment,
you feel your legs begin to straighten back out the
correct way. Your bones pop into place. But as they
do so, it kind of jolts your body and you
end up falling to the ground. And just as you
go to lift yourself back up and stand back up
this fiery broken leg person. You feel your body begin
to change more. Your hands that you begin to push
up from the ground you find have turned into.
Speaker 5: The little flippers.
Speaker 4: Your body turns into this weird gray tint, and your
fingers all dissolved into straight flippers.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: You see these tusks come out in front of you
as you fully transform into a.
Speaker 8: Walrus, A gray walrus.
Speaker 4: A gray walrus. Dan, I'm gonna need a two D
six roll to find out how many hours you are
a walrius?
Speaker 8: Are we surrounded? We're surrounded by water right now?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 4: You are perfect?
Speaker 8: Perfect time to.
Speaker 5: Eat the apple? What do you need?
Speaker 8: You need to see how long this is?
Speaker 4: How long it lasts?
Speaker 5: Cool?
Speaker 4: She can the boat back?
Speaker 8: Do I need to add anything to this?
Speaker 9: Nope, I'll just tie you u and then we could
like Parasale.
Speaker 4: Five five.
Speaker 7: She was holding the leash. Now what am I doing?
Speaker 4: She's still holding it.
Speaker 8: It's wrapped around. You're gonna swim with me? Or or.
Speaker 5: You can understand that it's finny.
Speaker 4: Yeah, true, I speak.
Speaker 8: That that's a seal. Sorry, I don't know walrus.
Speaker 4: We were just talking about we don't know animal noise
before this started. But the fun noise is a pandam make.
It wasn't anything like I thought it would.
Speaker 8: Can I talk?
Speaker 7: Sorry, no, no, you don't have Quizno's mouth.
Speaker 4: You can only have quis no quistals mouth. You can
only talk to surrounded by water.
Speaker 9: Yeah, is your walking through the zero today?
Speaker 8: Can I now understand? The jellyfish.
Speaker 9: Asked about where the bald eagles were, and then we
heard what go like, there's the bald eagles that are
really dumb noise? Yeah, it is the most majestic thing
ever that it opens its mouth and it's just friend right.
Speaker 4: So everybody uses like sounds for eagles. They use like hawks. Yeah,
always use a red tail.
Speaker 9: Yeah yeah, yeah, just it cried out like sounds like
a bi seagull.
Speaker 4: Yeah, stupid dinosaur.
Speaker 8: All I'm gonna jump in the water.
Speaker 4: So you jump in the water and roll into the water.
Speaker 8: I'm not even gonna jump, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 7: Roll over and I can I can translate for walrus, so.
Speaker 4: You you all see you will see Adra turn into
a fiery walrus and then sizzle out as she pluffs
into the water. And you only have four apples.
Speaker 8: This is pretty great. Everybody should eat an apple.
Speaker 9: I'm just saying, you're only saying.
Speaker 4: To oh rag, Yeah, I just I'm having a.
Speaker 5: Blast, Percy. Do you know a person called Cherry who
lives uh, just the other side of the lake.
Speaker 4: Here, whole case bondo, Charry.
Speaker 5: You think Cherry can help out right with that cape?
And maybe Aderro with that oh walmshut, possibly Bill with
the the oven door.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm sure Cherry cool.
Speaker 2: Maybe I think the next.
Speaker 5: Be our next should be our next step.
Speaker 8: Maybe we're telling them to eat the apple. We can
just get there.
Speaker 4: Well, if we do that, it's probably surrounded by evocres
in the town.
Speaker 9: I mean, no matter which way we go, we're surrounded
by e vocres.
Speaker 7: So Adas wants Adera wants us to try the apples?
Speaker 4: Absolutely not.
Speaker 8: Doesn't it look fun to be a freaking walrus? I
was gonna say, didn't we have troubles getting across the
lake to begin with?
Speaker 4: Oh, you do have a voat. But it was made
of gold, right, or it was surrounded by.
Speaker 7: It's surrounded by gold the water around the boat because
of the wild magical ban Yeah, but then he turned
his rod into a boat.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he turned your rod into a boat. Yeah, you
left your boat in the middle of the lake, so
you don't have the rod anymore. That's how we got here. Yeah,
I'm pretty sure you guys lost your boat that's still
out there. Yeah, because you said we couldn't tow it.
So yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: A lot.
Speaker 5: Maybe we should all eat out playing in the water.
Speaker 8: But I'm playing in the water dragging around?
Speaker 9: How how how far is it to the other side
of the lake?
Speaker 8: Five hours trip?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Five hours by boat?
Speaker 4: How fast? Trap? You could probably go faster.
Speaker 7: A deer going deep under the water and pulling rug
underneath like a booie because he floats.
Speaker 4: Like I still say, we just ride a rock. Oh,
I mean.
Speaker 5: To carry us first?
Speaker 4: Eight apple and got seven hours.
Speaker 8: He just slipped into the water.
Speaker 5: All right, I know I'm gonna I'm atoss and apple.
Speaker 4: Before we do this.
Speaker 9: I have a question I need you to answer before
you're a walrus here. It is, how do you think
I'm keeping an oven door on a wallas?
Speaker 8: I don't have backwards cricket legs anymore.
Speaker 4: Right, all of so, all of our clothing and stuff,
it was like a like shape change went into melts
into the laser eyes are going to go away. We
think we're braying.
Speaker 9: Wal If I still have laser eyes and you get
laser eyed, I mean you're going off front.
Speaker 5: You eat the apple before me, and then maybe I
could rank it the.
Speaker 9: Other I just got the hat off as a swim
isn't exactly what I want.
Speaker 5: You'll be a Walrus. It's fine.
Speaker 4: I'll eat the apple. I'll just change it old walrus, bail.
You look bad, very handsome.
Speaker 2: As a whole race.
Speaker 4: My laser eyes go away, then they go away. All right,
but you need a roll two D six.
Speaker 5: You're a wallrace, but we got three.
Speaker 4: You have an additional apple. There was five apples altogether.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but there's five of us.
Speaker 4: I don't need one.
Speaker 5: Oh, you don't need one.
Speaker 9: Hey, how long did we say?
Speaker 4: It took five hours?
Speaker 9: Oh? I got two.
Speaker 5: Oh, because we can split five.
Speaker 4: So you guys don't know how long we're to play
it out.
Speaker 8: I took off like I'm just like you, all right, Yeah,
I just know exactly where I'm going.
Speaker 9: It's to be clear. Two hours into the trip, I
turned back into a person we don't know, and then
there's just lasers shooting into the sky.
Speaker 4: No your thing was sitting.
Speaker 9: Okay, I'll have my Yeah, you still have something swimming
with an oven on my head?
Speaker 4: All right, yeah, the same door from the easy bake oven. Way,
we're all Wallrice, all right. So you all jump into
the water and start navigating your way back as Walris
is Walrus I walrye Walris Sexes.
Speaker 9: We're a school of Walris.
Speaker 5: I believe it's a parliament of Walrus.
Speaker 9: We're a murder of Wallrice.
Speaker 8: It's a herd. We are a herd of Walrus.
Speaker 4: As a herd of Walrus, you continue on through the water,
heading back toward town. You know the direction to go,
you just innately know that. And you're swimming under the
Alcacelt's bubble. So we're bubbling up, causing all that chaos
when you were trying to come in. So you're swimming
under it and you're making good time. You're passing fish.
You see jellyfish go by and it weighs its little
jellyfish leg at you, but says nothing. And about two
hours into the trip, all of a sudden, you feel
your bill, you feel your body start to get heavier,
as you're now kicking legs instead of bins. And you're
wearing shoes and pants and your best best and all
of your stuff slowly comes back together, as well as
the easy bake oven on your eyes. Almost it comes back,
and you are just swimming underwater and kneading oxygen.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna swim towards the top.
Speaker 8: Nobody can understand.
Speaker 9: You also, hold up? Sorry, I just had the thought.
Did you say, just turned into a roll rius instead
of eating the apple? Yes, so you're swimming with a
meat cape.
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, it's flowing in the water.
Speaker 9: I just wanted to be clear. We all have the
right image of what's happening right now.
Speaker 4: Cape Antler's Walrus.
Speaker 5: Well, now, daddy so fucked up?
Speaker 9: Shit disgusted a. Yeah, so I'm just gonna try and
swim with a surface, all right.
Speaker 7: And I'm also large enough that you I could probably
scoop you up from underneath and take you to the surface,
and yes, you will ride like a surfboard.
Speaker 4: Who had the other apple?
Speaker 5: I'm tossed it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he gave it to me, but I just pocketed it. Okay,
beat this. You want the.
Speaker 9: Apple from your Walrus?
Speaker 4: Pocket?
Speaker 5: Not?
Speaker 9: Really, it sounds I didn't bite it. I can't think
of anything less appetizing than an apple out of a
walrus pocket, which which I think is better described as
a flap.
Speaker 5: Like kangaroos, they have a pouch.
Speaker 9: That's that's not true. I know very few things about.
Speaker 4: But are you? Are you a Waversologist's.
Speaker 5: That's what I tried to say, but it came out as.
Speaker 9: I'm sorry, has been the worst trip in the history
of trips. Also, we are we swimming back the way
or are we swimming towards well, you just swam to
the service where you're now treading water? No, so my,
But like, did we decide to go back to town
or are we going to the cherry?
Speaker 11: Oh?
Speaker 4: I don't know which way you guys wanted to go.
Speaker 5: Whichever was closest. Probably it's about in the middle of
the lake.
Speaker 4: It's in the middle of the lake.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we might as well head straight towards chair.
Speaker 4: Okay, so off to do?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, towards Bedeu. Well then yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna ride the the main rainy cape Ballrius.
Speaker 5: Okay, all right.
Speaker 9: Town just just be sad the whole time.
Speaker 4: So you're right riding the veiny cap or a cape
the vein cape and uh hanging out with it's extra
wrink because it's a rag.
Speaker 9: Just just to once again your mind everyone, Nico makes
this up. It could have been anything. And this is
what he sat down. He was like, you know what
I need to do. You need to put something together
that I'm gonna spray on ooh, ragged and he's gonna
have a ball sack cape.
Speaker 4: I didn't make it a ballad cape. You guys made
a ball cape.
Speaker 9: You knew this was gonna be kind of.
Speaker 4: Vain innocence.
Speaker 5: He didn't know what was gonna be.
Speaker 4: That was just nice.
Speaker 9: That was a random role, he said. Anyone could have
had a ball second.
Speaker 5: That could have been built.
Speaker 8: I was really hoping it was gonna be you.
Speaker 5: But dropper that up with.
Speaker 4: The best I will absolutely all right. So you're riding
Walris rag and and about another hour into it, all
of a sudden, Eddie becomes Eddie.
Speaker 5: Again, almost swim and service there are how close are we?
Just sure?
Speaker 4: By now you're still about two hours out?
Speaker 5: Okay, I can carry two Tensor's disc.
Speaker 8: I can carry the other one.
Speaker 5: Just kidding, No, that's a seven. Yeah, Tensor's disc.
Speaker 4: And the bad thing.
Speaker 5: Will forget the spell connect carry people. Then you can
carry up to like three hundred pounds.
Speaker 4: Oh aren't you still minus one from taking minus one
last time we played?
Speaker 5: Oh yep, okay, never mind. Yeah, no tensors disc.
Speaker 4: Because you cast a spell and then you chose to
do minus one.
Speaker 5: You're right, I never forgot about that. Yeah, so no, no, no,
Tenser's discy. Hey Walrus rag you still got that apple
your Walru's pocket?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, somewhere here, I'm money eat it up. I'm
gonna say you couldn't cast your spell because you were
treading water and you need your hands to cast a spell.
Speaker 5: Tried to light a cigarette, got soggy, all right.
Speaker 2: Two d six.
Speaker 4: Seven more hours, So you got two hours of travel
where you will remain a wall risk. We lit a
five hour.
Speaker 8: Wolvers nap on the beach for five hours. I just
we're gonna bother Cherry for a while. You can just
hang out.
Speaker 6: On the beach.
Speaker 4: Percy's got to hang out too. He's got an extra
two hours left on him. Here.
Speaker 8: You can just roll around him at each other.
Speaker 4: So you guys continue swimming, and you see some docks
coming up. All of the major boats on this dock
much like the other one have been destroyed. But you
do see if you shipping, you know, like small boating
vessels that are out there, like five or six people
can fit in it. And you come swimming right up
to the to the docks and here you are cool.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna get on land and immediately dry off for the.
Speaker 4: First time in days. You hear a dog drinking the
water near lapping of the water near the near the
boat says you get out, But yeah, Adira, perfect timing
gets there five hours poof Uh, just.
Speaker 8: Roll it up on shore as a human.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do a big jump out of the water and transform.
They'd jump.
Speaker 5: Are her legs backwards again?
Speaker 8: Oh yes, yes, I am a cricket again.
Speaker 9: Oh thank god, you're no longer a walrius. Now you're
a cricket.
Speaker 4: You can't see her.
Speaker 9: I'm on man too, aren't But you got the easy.
Speaker 4: Bake oven and a fireball in your eye.
Speaker 8: You can't see anything. We should tether you do something,
pull you along.
Speaker 9: I will not be tathered. No more putting stuff on me.
They have too much stuff on me.
Speaker 8: It's called accessorizing, all right.
Speaker 4: So you've got ourag bill and Adeira, who have all
made it perfect timing. You've got Percy and Eddie who
are still walrus. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna, you know, flop around as a walrus
for a while, just.
Speaker 7: Kind of roll over on my side, slipper, scratch on
my belly.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna try and find a local, just anyone, all right,
I mean, yeah, there are people out fishing.
Speaker 9: You with the with the rod.
Speaker 8: Nothing to see here?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 9: No, no, no, the other one, yes, the one you like.
Speaker 4: I'll see how many voices I can make him go there,
it's swipe left, all right.
Speaker 9: I need to know for the nearest place that would
sell glasses or some type of glass would be.
Speaker 6: So okay if we park our walruses here, Yeah, so
you can park your Walruses here and the glass maker
would be uh just up the road here, okay, right
right down the market.
Speaker 8: Square to where Cherry lives.
Speaker 4: Cherry is also on the market square.
Speaker 8: Market Square. How do we find her?
Speaker 4: Oh you don't see you see where there's all that
smoke coming up in the middle of the city. Yep,
all right, that's they're out there having a barbecue day.
Speaker 8: Okay, Cherry's having a barbecue day.
Speaker 4: Everyone's having a barbecue day in the market square.
Speaker 8: So we will find everyone, or we will find cherry.
Which one will it be?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 9: So why aren't you there?
Speaker 4: Perfect Well, I'm fishing. I need meat for barbecue day,
barbecuing fish. Who isn't disgusted? Wow, there's some cultural differences here.
I don't see I should have stuck with the first one.
Leave it.
Speaker 9: He's just biggynna.
Speaker 4: All right, I'll watch your walruses.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna feel my way to the square.
Speaker 4: How much do you like these walruses? They they make
some good barbecue walrus sliders.
Speaker 9: You can't eat the walruses, but you can have the
cape off the one.
Speaker 4: Did you steal walrus?
Speaker 7: I've steal wals, but with antlers in a meat cape.
Speaker 4: That one looks like it's gone through stuff.
Speaker 8: He's gone through changes.
Speaker 4: I don't know that anyone should eat that.
Speaker 9: Nope, nobody should eat barbecue fish either. But apparently we're
not picky around here.
Speaker 4: It's also like three times normal worus.
Speaker 8: Yeah, don't eat Okay, there are.
Speaker 9: Friends buber walrus rag speak for yourself.
Speaker 4: Wow, good luck, then.
Speaker 9: We'll thank Just hands out in front of me, walking
trying to not run in the building getting into the
market square.
Speaker 4: Did you take that skirt, Adira, people's seared legs in.
Speaker 8: Her No, nope. I just walking cricket, all right, hopping along,
just jumping along, trying to attach this fucking leech leash
to Bill so we can find cherry together. And he
doesn't bring the place to the ground in the meantime
because he's run into something.
Speaker 4: You hear the guy's like, and I think we're weird,
bading Barbie kick fish. Look at them?
Speaker 9: Are weird people. I'm in the laser of your boat
and they can hear I can't see. So I have superhero. Yes,
that's how that works. I guess.
Speaker 4: I guess you're not daredevil.
Speaker 8: Okay, Bill, follow the sound of my voice.
Speaker 5: What all right?
Speaker 4: So as a walrag, are you staying with them in the.
Speaker 7: Water making sure they are protected?
Speaker 4: Okay? All right?
Speaker 7: So stabbing with the ball, I was like, I'll stick
around here and make sure they don't get.
Speaker 4: Bill and Adira, you too, Just leisurely strolled through town
and you hear festival music going. You hear lots of gasp, yeah,
lots of people playing having a good time, which is
really weird for an invaded country, and then as you
get closer to the perimeter, you see evokres out there
just drinking and revelry and having a good time. And
you see this.
Speaker 8: Hey bill, there's a bunch of evokers.
Speaker 9: Just so you don't which uniform am I wearing?
Speaker 4: None? Right now? You what did I have my best best?
What did he get stuck on? It got stuck on
the abjurs? But that was like two days ago. So
you can change it if you want to. Whatever. What
what matches oven?
Speaker 8: I would say, evokers, do.
Speaker 5: You have an abdurs match as doors?
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'll when she tells me that, I'll dip off
into a alleyway real quick and change into it.
Speaker 8: I will shove you into an alleyway, all right.
Speaker 9: Hopefully nine nine yeah?
Speaker 4: All right. So yeah, so you change into an evoker uniform.
It's a little uh, not as pristine as what you
would normally have had it right as far as military
uniform goes. It looks like it's not very well put
together for the day. But honestly, it kind of matches
what everybody else is doing for the revel for the party.
Like a lot of these evokers that are in soldier
outfits are all just kind of cutting loose, so your
nine actually works out for you in this case. Skirt
you all walk. You walk right into the heart of
the festival.
Speaker 8: He doesn't have a skirt. Oora got the.
Speaker 5: Other skirt was best, best turning, new skirt.
Speaker 4: And here's a good spot for us to take.
Speaker 8: A break part of time.
Speaker 4: It's the best skirt. This concludes this episode of a
fools Quest.
Speaker 7: Join us next time for more fun and daring adventure.
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Speaker 4: Platform to listen to all fools Quest