Speaker 1: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, chapter fifty seven. Now that
Speaker 1: I was left wholly to myself, I gave notice of
Speaker 1: my intention to quit the chambers in the Temple as
Speaker 1: soon as my tenancy could legally determine, and in the
Speaker 1: meanwhile to underlet them at once. I put bills up
Speaker 1: in the windows, for I was in debt and had
Speaker 1: scarcely any money, and began to be seriously alarmed by
Speaker 1: the state.
Speaker 3: Of my affairs.
Speaker 1: I ought rather to write that I should have been
Speaker 1: alarmed if I had had energy and concentration enough to
Speaker 1: help me to the clear perception of any truth beyond
Speaker 1: the fact that I was falling very ill. The late
Speaker 1: stress upon me had enabled me to put off illness,
Speaker 1: but not to put it away. I knew that it
Speaker 1: was coming on me now, and I knew very little else,
Speaker 1: and was even careless as to that. For a day
Speaker 1: or two I lay on the sofa or on the
Speaker 1: floor anywhere, according as I happened to sink down with
Speaker 1: a heavy head and aching limbs, and no purpose and
Speaker 1: no power. Then there came one night which appeared of
Speaker 1: great duration, and which teemed with anxiety and horror, And
Speaker 1: when in the morning I tried to sit up in
Speaker 1: my bed and think of it. I found I could
Speaker 1: not do so. Whether I really had been down in
Speaker 1: guarding court in the dead of the night, groping about
Speaker 1: for the boat that I supposed to be there. Whether
Speaker 1: I had two or three times come to myself on
Speaker 1: the staircase with great terror, not knowing how I had
Speaker 1: got out of bed. Whether I had found myself lighting
Speaker 1: the lamp, possessed by the idea that he was coming
Speaker 1: up the stairs, and that the lights were blown out.
Speaker 3: Whether I had been.
Speaker 1: Inexpressibly harassed by the distracted talking, laughing and groaning of
Speaker 1: some one, and had half suspected those sounds to be
Speaker 1: of my own making. Whether there had been a closed
Speaker 1: iron furnace in a dark corner of the room, and
Speaker 1: a voice had called out over and over again that
Speaker 1: Miss Havisham was consuming within it. These were things that
Speaker 1: I tried to settle with myself and get into some
Speaker 1: order as I lay that morning on my bed, But
Speaker 1: the vapor of a lime kiln would come between me
Speaker 1: and them, disordering them all. And it was through the
Speaker 1: vapor at last that I saw two men looking at me.
Speaker 1: What do you want I asked, starting I don't know
Speaker 1: you well, sir, returned one of them, bending down and
Speaker 1: touching me on the shoulder. This is a matter that
Speaker 1: you'll soon arrange, I dare say, but you're arrested. What
Speaker 1: is the debt one hundred and twenty three pound fifteen
Speaker 1: six jewelers account? I think what is to be done?
Speaker 1: You had better come to my house, said the man.
Speaker 1: I keep a very nice house. I made some attempt
Speaker 1: to get up and dress myself. When I next attended
Speaker 1: to them, they were standing a little off from the bed,
Speaker 1: looking at me. I still lay there. You see my state,
Speaker 1: said I.
Speaker 2: I would come with you if I could, But indeed
Speaker 2: I am quite unable. If you take me from here,
Speaker 2: I think I shall die by the way. Perhaps they replied,
Speaker 2: or argued the point, or tried to encourage me to
Speaker 2: believe that I was better than I thought. Forasmuch as
Speaker 2: they hang in my memory by only this one slender thread,
Speaker 2: I don't know what they did, except that they forebore
Speaker 2: to remove me. That I had a fever and was avoided,
Speaker 2: That I suffered greatly, that I often lost my reason,
Speaker 2: that the time seemed interminable, that I confounded impossible existences.
Speaker 1: With my own identity. That I was a brick in
Speaker 1: the house wall, and yet entreating to be released from
Speaker 1: the giddy place where the builders had set me. That
Speaker 1: I was a steel beam of a vast engine, clashing
Speaker 1: and whirling over a gulf, and yet that I implored
Speaker 1: in my own person to have the engine stopped, and
Speaker 1: my part in it hammered off.
Speaker 3: That I passed through these phases of disease.
Speaker 1: I know of my own remembrance, and did in some
Speaker 1: sort know at the time that I sometimes struggled with
Speaker 1: real people in the belief that they were murderers, and
Speaker 1: that I would all at once comprehend that they meant
Speaker 1: to do me good, and would then sink, exhausted in
Speaker 1: their arms, and suffer them to lay me down. I
Speaker 1: also knew at the time. But above all, I knew
Speaker 1: that there was a constant tendency in all these people, who,
Speaker 1: when I was very ill, would present all kinds of
Speaker 1: extraordinary transformations of the human face, and would be much
Speaker 1: dilated in size. Above all, I say, I knew that
Speaker 1: there was an extraordinary tendency in all these people sooner
Speaker 1: or later to settle down into the likeness of Joe.
Speaker 1: After I had turned the worst point of my illness,
Speaker 1: I began to notice that while all its other features changed,
Speaker 1: this one consistent feature did not change. Whoever came about
Speaker 1: me still settled down into Joe. I opened my eyes
Speaker 1: in the night, and I saw in the great chair
Speaker 1: at the bedside Joe. I opened my eyes in the day, and,
Speaker 1: sitting on the window seat, smoking his pipe in the
Speaker 1: shaded open window, still I saw Joe. I asked for
Speaker 1: a cooling drink, and the dear hand that gave it
Speaker 1: me was Joe's. I sank back on my pillow after drinking,
Speaker 1: and the face that looked so hopefully and tenderly upon
Speaker 1: me was the face of Joe. Last one day, I
Speaker 1: took courage and said, is it Joe? And the dear
Speaker 1: old home voice answered, which it are, Old Chap, Oh Joe,
Speaker 1: you break my heart. Don't look angry at me, Joe,
Speaker 1: strike me, Joe, tell me of my ingratitude. Don't be
Speaker 1: so good to me. For Joe had actually laid his
Speaker 1: head down on the pillow at my side and put
Speaker 1: his arm round my neck in his joy that I
Speaker 1: knew him, which dear old pip old Chap said Joe,
Speaker 1: you and me was ever frenched? And when you're well
Speaker 1: enough to go out for a ride? What larks? After
Speaker 1: which Joe withdrew to the window and stood with his
Speaker 1: back towards me, wiping his eyes.
Speaker 3: And as my.
Speaker 1: Extreme weakness prevented me from getting up and going to him,
Speaker 1: I lay there penitently whispering, Oh God, bless him, Oh God,
Speaker 1: bless this gentle Christian man. Joe's eyes were read when
Speaker 1: I next found him beside me, but I was holding
Speaker 1: his hand, and we both felt happy. How long, dear Joe,
Speaker 1: which you meander, say, Pip? How long has your illness lasted?
Speaker 1: Dear old Jep, Yes, Joe, it's the end of May, Pip.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow is the first of June. And have you been
Speaker 1: here all that time? Dear Joe, pretty nigh old chap
Speaker 1: For as I says to Biddy, when the news of
Speaker 1: your being ill were brought by letter, which it were
Speaker 1: brought by the post, and being formally single, he is
Speaker 1: now married, though underpaid for a deal of walking and
Speaker 1: shoe leather. But wealth were not an object on his part,
Speaker 1: and marriage were the great wish of his heart. It
Speaker 1: is so delightful to hear you, Joe, But I interrupt
Speaker 1: you in what you said to Biddy, which it were,
Speaker 1: said Joe, that how you might be amongst strangers, and
Speaker 1: that how you and me, having been ever friends, a
Speaker 1: visit at such a moment might not prove unacceptababble and
Speaker 1: Biddy her word were go to him without loss of time,
Speaker 1: that said Joe, summing up with his judicial air, were
Speaker 1: the word of Biddy go to him, Biddy say without
Speaker 1: loss of time. In short, I shouldn't greatly deceive you,
Speaker 1: Joe added, after a little grave reflection, if I represented
Speaker 1: to you that the word of that young woman were
Speaker 1: without a minute's loss of time. There Joe cut himself
Speaker 1: short and informed me that I was to be talked
Speaker 1: to in great moderation, and that I was to take
Speaker 1: a little nourishment at stated frequent times, whether I felt
Speaker 1: inclined for it or not, and that I was to
Speaker 1: submit myself to all his orders. So I kissed his
Speaker 1: hand and lay quiet while he proceeded to indict a
Speaker 1: note to Biddy with my love in it. Evidently Biddy
Speaker 1: had taught Joe to write. As I lay in bed
Speaker 1: looking at him, it made me, in my weak state,
Speaker 1: cry again with pleasure to see the pride with which
Speaker 1: he set about his letter. My bedstead, divested of its curtains,
Speaker 1: had been removed with me upon it into the sitting
Speaker 1: room as the ariest and largest, and the carpet had
Speaker 1: been taken away, and the room kept always fresh and
Speaker 1: wholesome night and day. At my own writing table, pushed
Speaker 1: into a corner and cumbered with little bottles, Joe now
Speaker 1: sat down to his great work, first choosing a pen
Speaker 1: from the pen tray as if it were a chest
Speaker 1: of large tools, and tucking up his sleeves as if
Speaker 1: you were going to wield the crowbar or sledge hammer.
Speaker 1: It was necessary for Joe to hold on heavily to
Speaker 1: the table with his left elbow, and to get his
Speaker 1: right leg well out behind him before he could begin,
Speaker 1: And when he did begin, he made every downstroke so
Speaker 1: slowly that it might have been six feet long, while
Speaker 1: at every upstroke I could hear his pens spluttering extensively.
Speaker 1: He had a curious idea that the inkstand was on
Speaker 1: the side of him, where it was not, and constantly
Speaker 1: dipped his pen into space, and seemed quite satisfied with
Speaker 1: the result. Occasionally he was tripped up by some orthographical
Speaker 1: stumbling block. But on the whole he got on very well. Indeed,
Speaker 1: And when he had signed his name and had removed
Speaker 1: a finishing blot from the paper to the crown of
Speaker 1: his head with his two forefingers, he got up and
Speaker 1: hovered about the table, trying the effect of his performance
Speaker 1: from various points of view as it lay there, with
Speaker 1: unbounded satisfaction not to make Joe uneasy by talking too much.
Speaker 1: Even if I had been able to talk much, I
Speaker 1: deferred asking him about Miss Havisham until next day. He
Speaker 1: shook his head when I then asked him if she
Speaker 1: had recovered?
Speaker 3: Is she dead? Joe?
Speaker 1: Why y see old chup, said Joe, in a tone
Speaker 1: of remonstrance, and by way of getting at it by degrees.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go so far as to say that, for
Speaker 1: that's a deal to say.
Speaker 3: But she ain't living, Joe.
Speaker 1: That's nigher where it is, said Joe. She ain't living,
Speaker 1: did she linger?
Speaker 3: Long? Joe? Are to you wistoch il.
Speaker 1: Pretty much about what you might call if you was
Speaker 1: put to it a week, said Joe. Still determined on
Speaker 1: my account to come at everything by degrees. Dear Joe,
Speaker 1: have you heard what becomes of her property? Well, old Chap,
Speaker 1: said Joe. It do appear that she had settled the
Speaker 1: most of it, which I mean to say tied it
Speaker 1: up a miss a Stella. But she had rode out
Speaker 1: a cottell in her own hand a day or two
Speaker 1: afore the accident, leaving a cool four thousand to mister
Speaker 1: Matthew pocket. And why do you suppose, above all things Pip,
Speaker 1: she left that cool four thousand unto him because of
Speaker 1: Pip's account of him, the said Matthew. I am told
Speaker 1: by Biddy that ere the writing, said Joe, repeating the
Speaker 1: legal term, as if it did him infinite good account
Speaker 1: of him, the said Matthew, and a cool four thousand Pip.
Speaker 1: I never discovered from whom Joe derived the conventional temperature
Speaker 1: of the four thousand pounds, but it appeared to make
Speaker 1: the sum of money more to him, and he had
Speaker 1: a manifest relish in insisting on its being cool. This
Speaker 1: account came gave me great joy, as it perfected the
Speaker 1: only good thing I had done. I asked Joe whether
Speaker 1: he had heard if any of the other relations had
Speaker 1: any legacies. Miss Sarah said Joe, she have twenty five
Speaker 1: pound perennium for to buy pills on account of being bilious.
Speaker 1: Miss Georgiana, she have twenty pound down Missus, what's the
Speaker 1: name of them? While beasts with Hump's Old Chap Camels,
Speaker 1: said I, wondering why he could possibly want to know.
Speaker 1: Joe nodded missus Camel's, by which I presently understood he
Speaker 1: met Camilla. She have five pounds for to buy rush
Speaker 1: lights to put her in spirits when she wake up
Speaker 1: in the night. The accuracy of these recitals was sufficiently
Speaker 1: obvious to me to give me great confidence in Joe's information.
Speaker 1: And now said Joe, you ain't that strong yet, old Chap,
Speaker 1: that you can take him more, nor one additional shovelful
Speaker 1: to day, old orlick. He's been a bustin' open, a
Speaker 1: dwellin' house, Hoos, said I not I grant you, but
Speaker 1: what his manners is given to Blusterus, said Joe, apologetically,
Speaker 1: still on englishmen's houses. His castle and castles must not
Speaker 1: be busted except when done in war time. And whatsomever
Speaker 1: the failings on his part? He were a corn and
Speaker 1: seedsman in his heart? Is it Pomblchuk's house that has
Speaker 1: been broken into. Then that's it, Pip, said Joe. And
Speaker 1: they took his till, and they took his cash box,
Speaker 1: and they drinked his wine, and they partook of his whittles,
Speaker 1: and they slapped his face, and they pulled his nose,
Speaker 1: and they tied him up to his bedpost, and they
Speaker 1: give him a dozen and they stuffed his mouth full
Speaker 1: of flowering annuals to prevent his crying out. But he
Speaker 1: knowed Dorlck and Orle's in the county jail. By these
Speaker 1: approaches we arrived at unrestricted conversation. I was slow to
Speaker 1: gain strength, but I did slowly and surely become less weak.
Speaker 1: And Joe stayed with me, and I fancied I was
Speaker 1: little Pip again, for the tenderness of Joe was so
Speaker 1: beautifully proportioned to my need that I was like a
Speaker 1: child in his hands. He would sit and talk to
Speaker 1: me in the old confidence, and with the old simplicity,
Speaker 1: and in the old unassertive protecting way, so that I
Speaker 1: would half believe that all my life since the days
Speaker 1: of the old kitchen was one of the mental troubles
Speaker 1: of the fever that was gone. He did everything for
Speaker 1: me except the household work for which he had engaged
Speaker 1: a very decent woman after paying off the laundress on
Speaker 1: his first arrival, which I do assure you, Pip, he
Speaker 1: would often say, in explanation of that liberty, I found
Speaker 1: her a tap in the spare bed like a cask
Speaker 1: of beer, and drawn off the feathers in a bucket
Speaker 1: for sale, which she would have tapped your next, and
Speaker 1: drawed it off with you a layin on it, and
Speaker 1: was then a carrying away the coals gradually in the
Speaker 1: soup tureen, and vegetable dishes, and the wine and spirits
Speaker 1: in your wellington boots. We looked forward to the day
Speaker 1: when I should go out for a ride, as we
Speaker 1: had once looked forward to the day of my apprenticeship.
Speaker 1: And when the day came and an open carriage was
Speaker 1: got into the lane, Joe wrapped me up, took me
Speaker 1: in his arms, carried me down to it, and put
Speaker 1: me in as if I were still the small, helpless
Speaker 1: creature to whom he had so abundantly given the wealth
Speaker 1: of his great nature. And Joe got in beside me,
Speaker 1: and we drove away together into the country where the
Speaker 1: rich summer growth was already on the trees and on
Speaker 1: the grass, and sweet summer sands filled all the air.
Speaker 1: The day happened to be Sunday, And when I looked
Speaker 1: on the loveliness around me and thought how it had
Speaker 1: grown and changed, and how the little wild flowers had
Speaker 1: been forming, and the voices of the birds had been
Speaker 1: strengthening by day and by night under the sun and
Speaker 1: under the stars. While poor I lay burning and tossing
Speaker 1: on my bed, the mere remembrance of having burned and
Speaker 1: tossed there came like a check upon my piece. But
Speaker 1: when I heard the Sunday bells and looked around a
Speaker 1: little more upon the outspread beauty, I felt that I
Speaker 1: was not nearly thankful enough, that I was too weak
Speaker 1: yet to be even that. And I laid my head
Speaker 1: on Joe's shoulder as I had laid it long ago,
Speaker 1: when he had taken me to the fair or where not,
Speaker 1: and it was too much for my young senses. More
Speaker 1: composure came to me after a while, and we talked
Speaker 1: as we used to talk lying on the grass at
Speaker 1: the old battery. There was no change whatever in Joe,
Speaker 1: exactly what he had been in my eyes then he
Speaker 1: was in my eyes still just as simply faithful and
Speaker 1: is simply right. When we got back again, and he
Speaker 1: lifted me out and carried me so easily across the
Speaker 1: court and up the stairs, I thought of that eventful
Speaker 1: Christmas day when he had carried me over the marshes.
Speaker 1: We had not yet made any allusion to my change
Speaker 1: of fortune, nor did I know how much of my
Speaker 1: late history he was acquainted with. I was so doubtful
Speaker 1: of myself now, and put so much trust in him,
Speaker 1: that I could not satisfy myself whether I ought to
Speaker 1: refer to it.
Speaker 3: When he did not. Have you heard, Joe?
Speaker 1: I asked him that evening, upon further consideration, as he
Speaker 1: smoked his pipe at the window, Who my patron was?
Speaker 3: I heard?
Speaker 1: Returned Joe, As it were not Miss havisham old Chap.
Speaker 3: Did you hear who it was? Joe?
Speaker 1: Well, I heared, as it were a person? What sent
Speaker 1: the person? What give you the banknotes at the jolly bargeman, Pip?
Speaker 1: So it was astonishing, said Joe in the placidest way.
Speaker 3: Did you hear that he was dead?
Speaker 1: Joe? I presently asked, with increasing diffidence, which.
Speaker 3: Him has sent the bank notes? Pip?
Speaker 1: Yes, I think said Joe, after meditating a long time
Speaker 1: and looking rather evasively at the window seat, as I
Speaker 1: did hear tell that how he were something or other
Speaker 1: in a general way? In that direction? Did you hear
Speaker 1: anything of his circumstances, Joe.
Speaker 3: Not particular, Pip, But.
Speaker 1: If you would like to hear Joe, I was beginning
Speaker 1: when Joe got up and came to my sofa. Looky here,
Speaker 1: old Chap, said Joe, bending over me. Ever, the best
Speaker 1: of friends, ain't us, Pip? I was ashamed to answer him.
Speaker 1: Very good, then, said Joe. As if I had answered,
Speaker 1: that's all right, that's agreed upon, then why go into subjects,
Speaker 1: old Chap, which as betwixt two such must be forever unnecessary.
Speaker 1: There's subjects enough this betwixt two such without unnecessary ones, Lord,
Speaker 1: to think of your poor sister and her rampages. And
Speaker 1: don't you remember Tickler? I do, indeed, Joe, looky here,
Speaker 1: old Chap, said Joe.
Speaker 3: I've done what I.
Speaker 1: Could to keep you and Tickler in asunders. But my
Speaker 1: power was not always fully equal to my inclinations. For
Speaker 1: when your poor sister had a mind to drop into you,
Speaker 1: it were not so much, said Joe in his favorite
Speaker 1: argumentative way, that you dropped into me too, if I
Speaker 1: put myself in opposition to her, but that she dropped
Speaker 1: into you always heavier for it. I noticed that it
Speaker 1: ain't a grab at a man's whisker, nor yet a
Speaker 1: shake or two of a man, to which your sister
Speaker 1: was quite welcome. That it put a man off from
Speaker 1: getting a little child out of punishment. But when that
Speaker 1: little child is dropped into heavier for that grab a
Speaker 1: whisker or shaken, then that man naturally up and says
Speaker 1: to himself, where is the good as you are a doing?
Speaker 1: I grant you I see the harm, said the man,
Speaker 1: but I don't see the good. I call upon you, sir, therefore,
Speaker 1: to point out the good. The man says, I observed
Speaker 1: as Joe waited for me to speak. The man says,
Speaker 1: Joe assented. Is he right, that man, dear Joe, is
Speaker 1: always right? Well, old Chap, said Joe, Then abide by
Speaker 1: your words. If he's always right, which in general he's
Speaker 1: more likely wrong, he's right when he says this. Supposing ever,
Speaker 1: you kept any little matter to yourself when you was
Speaker 1: a little child, you kept it mostly because you knowed,
Speaker 1: as j Gargery's power to part you and Tickler in
Speaker 1: sunders were not fully equal to his inclinations. Therefore, I
Speaker 1: think no more of it as betwixt two such, and
Speaker 1: do not let us pass remarks upon unnecessary subjects. Biddy
Speaker 1: give herself a deal o trouble with me before I left,
Speaker 1: for I am almost awful dull as I should view
Speaker 1: it in this light, and viewing it in this light
Speaker 1: as I should so put it, both of which said Joe,
Speaker 1: quite charmed with his logical arrangement being done. Now this
Speaker 1: to you, a true friend, say, namely, you mustn't go
Speaker 1: a overdoing on it, but you must have your supper
Speaker 1: and your wine and water, and you must be put
Speaker 1: betwixt the sheets. The delicacy with which Joe dismissed this theme,
Speaker 1: and the sweet tact and kindness with which Biddy, who
Speaker 1: with her woman's wit had found me out so soon,
Speaker 1: had prepared him for it, made a deep impression on
Speaker 1: my mind. But whether Joe knew how poor I was,
Speaker 1: and how my great expectations had all dissolved like our
Speaker 1: own marti mists before the sun, I could not understand
Speaker 1: another thing in Joe that I could not understand when
Speaker 1: it first began to develop itself, but which I soon
Speaker 1: arrived at a sorrowful comprehension of was this. As I
Speaker 1: became stronger and better, Joe became a little less easy
Speaker 1: with me in my weakness. An entire de son him,
Speaker 1: the dear fellow, had fallen into the old tone, and
Speaker 1: called me by the old names, the dear old pip
Speaker 1: old chap that now were music in my ears. I
Speaker 1: too had fallen into the old ways, only happy and
Speaker 1: thankful that he let me. But imperceptibly, though I held
Speaker 1: by them fast, Joe's hold upon them began to slacken.
Speaker 1: And whereas I wondered at this at first, I soon
Speaker 1: began to understand that the cause of it was in me,
Speaker 1: and that the fault of it was all mine. Ah.
Speaker 1: Had I given Joe no reason to doubt my constancy
Speaker 1: and to think that, in prosperity I should grow cold
Speaker 1: to him and cast him off? Had I given Joe's
Speaker 1: innocent heart no cause to feel instinctively that as I
Speaker 1: got stronger, his hold upon me would be weaker, and
Speaker 1: that he had better loosen it in time and let
Speaker 1: me go before I plucked myself away. It was on
Speaker 1: the third or fourth occasion of my going out walking
Speaker 1: in the Temple gardens, leading on Joe's arm, that I
Speaker 1: saw this change in him very plainly. We had been
Speaker 1: sitting in the bright, warm sunlight looking at the river,
Speaker 1: and I chanced to say, as we got up, see, Joe,
Speaker 1: I can walk quite strongly. Now you shall see me
Speaker 1: walk back by myself. Which do not overdo it, pip,
Speaker 1: said Joe. But I shall be happy for to see
Speaker 1: ye able, sir. The last word grated on me. But
Speaker 1: how could I remonstrate? I walked no further than the
Speaker 1: gate of the gardens, and then pretended to be weaker
Speaker 1: than I was, and asked Joe for his arm. Joe
Speaker 1: gave it me, but was thoughtful. I, for my part,
Speaker 1: was thoughtful too, for how best to check this growing
Speaker 1: change in Joe was a great perplexity to my remorseful
Speaker 1: thought that I was ashamed to tell him exactly how
Speaker 1: I was placed and what I had come down to.
Speaker 1: I do not seek to conceal, but I hope my
Speaker 1: reluctance was not quite an unworthy one. He would want
Speaker 1: to help me out of his little savings. I knew,
Speaker 1: and I knew that he ought not to help me,
Speaker 1: that I must not suffer him to do it. It
Speaker 1: was a thoughtful evening with both of us. But before
Speaker 1: we went to bed, I had resolved that I would
Speaker 1: wait over tomorrow tomorrow being Sunday, and would begin my
Speaker 1: new course with the new week. On Monday morning. I
Speaker 1: would speak to Joe about this change. I would lay
Speaker 1: aside this last vestige of reserve. I would tell him
Speaker 1: what I had in my thoughts that secondly not yet
Speaker 1: arrived at, and why I had not decided to go
Speaker 1: out to Herbert, and then the change would be conquered forever.
Speaker 1: As I cleared, Joe cleared, and it seemed as though
Speaker 1: he had sympathetically arrived at a resolution too. We had
Speaker 1: a quiet day on the Sunday, and we rode out
Speaker 1: into the country and then walked in the fields. I
Speaker 1: feel thankful that I have been ill, Joe, I said,
Speaker 1: dear old pip Old Chap, You're almost come round, sir.
Speaker 1: It has been a memorable time for me, Joe, likewise
Speaker 1: for myself, Sir. Joe returned. We have had a time
Speaker 1: to gather Joe that I can never forget. There were
Speaker 1: days once I know that I did for a while forget,
Speaker 1: but I never shall forget these, Pip, said Joe, appearing
Speaker 1: a little hurried and troubled. There has been larks, and
Speaker 1: dear sir, what has been betwixt us have been? At night,
Speaker 1: when I had gone to bed, Joe came into my room,
Speaker 1: as he had done all through my recovery. He asked
Speaker 1: me if I felt sure that I was as well
Speaker 1: as in the morning, Yes, dear Joe, quite, and are
Speaker 1: always getting stronger, old Chap, Yes, dear Joe. Steadily Joe
Speaker 1: patted the coverlet on my shoulder with his great good
Speaker 1: hand and said, in what I thought a husky voice,
Speaker 1: good night. When I got up in the morning, refreshed
Speaker 1: and stronger, yet I was full of my resolution to
Speaker 1: tell Joe all without delay. I would tell him before breakfast.
Speaker 1: I would dress it once and go to his room
Speaker 1: and surprise him, for it was the first day I
Speaker 1: had been up early. I went to his room and
Speaker 1: he was not there. Not only was he not there,
Speaker 1: but his box was gone. I hurried then to the
Speaker 1: breakfast table, and on it found a letter, these words
Speaker 1: brief contents, not wishful to intrude. I have departured for
Speaker 1: you are well again, dear Pip, and will do better
Speaker 1: without j O. P s Ever, the best of friends.
Speaker 1: Enclosed in the letter was a receipt for the debt
Speaker 1: and costs on which I had been arrested. Down to
Speaker 1: that moment, I had vainly supposed that my creditor had
Speaker 1: withdrawn or suspended proceedings until I should be quite recovered.
Speaker 1: I had never dreamed of Joe's having paid the money.
Speaker 1: But Joe had paid it, and the receipt was in
Speaker 1: his name. What remained for me now but to follow
Speaker 1: him to the dear old Forge, and there to have
Speaker 1: out my disclosure to him, and my penitent remonstrance with him,
Speaker 1: and there to relieve my mind and heart of that
Speaker 1: reserved secondly, which had begun as a vague something lingering
Speaker 1: in my thoughts, and informed into a settled purpose. The
Speaker 1: purpose was that I would go to Biddy, that I
Speaker 1: would show her how humbled and repentant I came back,
Speaker 1: That I would tell her how I had lost all
Speaker 1: I once hoped for, that I would remind her of
Speaker 1: our old confidences in my first unhappy time. Then I
Speaker 1: would say to her, Biddy, I think you once liked
Speaker 1: me very well, when my errant heart, even while it
Speaker 1: strayed away from you, was quieter and better with you
Speaker 1: than it ever has been since. If you can like
Speaker 1: me only half as well once more, if you can
Speaker 1: take me with all my faults and disappointments on my head,
Speaker 1: if you can receive me like a forgiven child, And
Speaker 1: indeed I am as sorry, biddy, and have as much
Speaker 1: need of a hushing voice and a soothing hand. I
Speaker 1: hope I am a little worthier of you than I was.
Speaker 1: Not much, but a little, And Biddy, it shall rest
Speaker 1: with you to say whether I shall work at the
Speaker 1: forge with Joe, or whether I shall try for any
Speaker 1: different occupation down in this sky country, or whether we
Speaker 1: shall go away to a distant place where an opportunity
Speaker 1: awaits me, which I set aside when it was offered
Speaker 1: until I knew your answer. And now, dear Biddy, if
Speaker 1: you can tell me that you will go through the
Speaker 1: world with me, you will surely make it a better
Speaker 1: world for me, and me a better man for it,
Speaker 1: and I will try hard to make it a better
Speaker 1: world for you. Such was my purpose. After three days
Speaker 1: more of recovery, I went down to the old place
Speaker 1: to put it in execution and how I sped in
Speaker 1: It is all I have left to tell.
Speaker 3: End of chapter