WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.560 --> 00:00:07.679 Welcome to Afterlife Cafe TV. Connecting hearts, healing souls and 2 00:00:07.799 --> 00:00:12.679 bridging worlds. I'm your host, Helen Peacock, and this is 3 00:00:12.759 --> 00:00:18.120 your sacred grounds, a warm, welcoming space where you're invited 4 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:23.800 to take a seat, exhale, and just be. Each week 5 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:29.160 we will gather cafe style for harpbult conversations, some mediumship, 6 00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:34.719 a man maybe, some intuitive insights, and soulful storytelling that 7 00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:41.520 explore the afterlife, some healing grieving and the unbreakable bond 8 00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:44.280 between us and those in spirit. 9 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:45.359 Here. 10 00:00:46.159 --> 00:00:48.799 Laughter and tears are both welcome. 11 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:51.600 Love transcends time. 12 00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:55.200 And spirit meets us in the most human of ways. 13 00:00:55.880 --> 00:01:00.960 So if you're seeking comfort, connection for deeper, trusting your 14 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:06.680 own inner knowing, you're in the right place. So for yourself, 15 00:01:06.760 --> 00:01:15.200 something warm and let's begin. Hello, beautiful souls, welcome, And 16 00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:18.599 if you're new here, welcome. And if you're returning guests, 17 00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:22.560 then welcome back. And I'm super excited about this beautiful 18 00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:25.040 human that I have in front of me. His name 19 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:29.000 is Quasi Millington and he's a former RCMP police officer 20 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:33.799 who has overcome some struggles professionally as well as personally, 21 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:39.799 dealing with mental challenges such as PDSD and depression. He 22 00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:43.480 is now traveling internationally. Yes, I've been following him as 23 00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:47.959 a professional speaker and a coach, and he's teaching young 24 00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:52.799 people and high stress organizations how to avoid burnout and 25 00:01:53.120 --> 00:01:58.280 also build mental health and cultivate, cultivate resilience and in 26 00:01:58.319 --> 00:02:01.920 their lives. So welcome, and I'm so excited to have 27 00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:02.319 you here. 28 00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:05.640 Thank you so much for having me, really appreciate it, honored, 29 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:06.040 Thank you. 30 00:02:07.079 --> 00:02:11.240 Now, you have a very interesting story, and I know 31 00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:12.840 that you've been sharing. 32 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:15.360 Your story all over the globe. 33 00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:18.319 Mostly in the US. I've noticed California was the most recent. 34 00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:22.280 And if you wouldn't mind just like diving in right away, 35 00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:27.400 how your life just basically took a turn while being 36 00:02:27.560 --> 00:02:28.960 an RCMP officer. 37 00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:30.479 Do you do you want to start there? 38 00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:34.280 Yeah, sure, we'll start. We'll start right into it. That 39 00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:35.120 that sounds good to. 40 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:38.000 Me, like before all this happened, right, do you want 41 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:40.840 to walk us through the moment that your life changed forever? 42 00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:43.560 Yeah, okay, I can do that. I can definitely do that. 43 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:46.280 So yeah, first of all, as you mentioned, my background 44 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:48.879 is in policing. I never thought I was going to 45 00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:50.639 be a police officer. It wasn't one of those things 46 00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:52.639 that I dreamed, this is what I'm gonna do for 47 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:55.240 the rest of my life. You know of those stories 48 00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:56.719 of the five year old kid that's like, I'm going 49 00:02:56.759 --> 00:02:58.879 to be a police officer. That wasn't me. It was 50 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:01.280 on a way and I became an office at twenty 51 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:05.719 eight years old, and I thought after starting that that 52 00:03:05.960 --> 00:03:07.439 is what I'm going to do for the rest of 53 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:11.319 my professional life. Twenty five years. I had to plan down. 54 00:03:11.319 --> 00:03:13.759 I knew where I was going to go. About two 55 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:17.360 years in I was transferred from Richmond, British Columbia, so 56 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:21.319 I started with the RCMP across the country. I live 57 00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:25.080 in Toronto, but I was transferred to Richmond, just outside Vancouver, 58 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:27.560 and a couple of years in I was transferred to 59 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:32.240 Vancouver Airport and one night on a shift, I get 60 00:03:32.280 --> 00:03:34.439 a call and the call comes in. It's about one 61 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:39.680 o'clock in the morning. There's a man who's breaking airport property, 62 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:46.919 destroying computers and needs to be apprehended. Basically, so myself 63 00:03:46.919 --> 00:03:49.280 and three other officers we head up to the international 64 00:03:49.319 --> 00:03:52.800 arrivals area and we see him standing there and as 65 00:03:52.800 --> 00:03:55.439 I approach him, a couple of things I noticed. Number one, 66 00:03:55.479 --> 00:03:58.199 I noticed that there was stuff thrown around, so definitely 67 00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:01.479 he's the guy that they had called Aim. And as 68 00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:04.199 I approached him, I hear someone say, I don't know 69 00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:07.000 who it was. He doesn't speak English, and for some 70 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:09.960 reason I heard that, and we've all met people that 71 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.120 don't speak our language before. So I try to communicate 72 00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:17.279 with him basically using universal hand signals, you know, like 73 00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:21.279 opening a book and mime passport, all things that I 74 00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:23.439 think anybody, no matter if they understand English or not, 75 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:26.720 are going to understand. And I think, Okay, he's gonna 76 00:04:26.720 --> 00:04:28.959 grab his paperwork, we're going to figure this out and 77 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:32.160 that'll be the end of it. But he instead turns 78 00:04:32.199 --> 00:04:36.639 around and he grabs what we call him policing weapon 79 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:39.560 of opportunity. He just picked up a stapler, fist in 80 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:42.480 one hand, fist in the other, and we're going to 81 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:46.319 fight to get him under arrest, and physical altercations or 82 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:50.680 fighting is nothing new to police officers, so we unfortunately 83 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:53.639 had to get him under arrest. Part of that was 84 00:04:53.720 --> 00:04:56.480 I used a taser on him. We got him down, 85 00:04:57.240 --> 00:05:01.079 got handcuffs on him, got him under control. So far, 86 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:05.319 it's like other calls. I've dealt with you. You get 87 00:05:05.319 --> 00:05:07.040 physical with someone and you get under arrest and you 88 00:05:07.079 --> 00:05:11.800 figure things out. Unfortunately, everything changed. A couple minutes after 89 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:14.800 we got him under arrest. I hear my partner on 90 00:05:14.839 --> 00:05:18.600 the radio say, he's turning blue. We need MS, we 91 00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:21.160 need ambulance, we need people to attend to him right away. 92 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:27.920 Ambulance arrives, EHS paramedics fire and they start working on him. 93 00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:31.240 And when I say working on him, they are checking 94 00:05:31.399 --> 00:05:35.680 for vitals. See the defibrillator come out. And a few 95 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:38.879 minutes later, I hear the three words no officer ever 96 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:45.160 wants to hear time of death in that moment. Unfortunately, 97 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:49.319 he died of heart failure after arrest. Now, there were 98 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:52.600 things that were going on that I didn't understand before 99 00:05:52.639 --> 00:05:56.120 dealing with him. I didn't know that he was exhibiting 100 00:05:56.160 --> 00:05:59.519 what's called excited delirium. It's a condition where your heart 101 00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:01.839 rate is elevated and there's things going on inside of 102 00:06:01.879 --> 00:06:05.879 you that can compromise your heart when someone arrests you. 103 00:06:07.160 --> 00:06:09.160 I didn't know that he had a weekend heart. I 104 00:06:09.160 --> 00:06:12.279 didn't know he had some other conditions going on, and 105 00:06:12.360 --> 00:06:15.560 unfortunately he died. Now there was a guy recording the 106 00:06:15.560 --> 00:06:17.560 incident the whole time. He was on the public side 107 00:06:17.560 --> 00:06:20.199 of the airpork. He recorded the whole incident. He eventually 108 00:06:20.199 --> 00:06:23.519 sold his footage to every new station he could get 109 00:06:23.560 --> 00:06:26.759 paid by, and it ended up blasted all over the country. 110 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:30.519 And at the time it didn't matter to me because 111 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:34.319 I gave statements. I was told internally, hey, listen, you 112 00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:35.920 did what you were trained to do. And you know, 113 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:37.800 sometimes you do the right thing and things go wrong. 114 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.439 That's what happens. I was cleared of any wrongdoing by 115 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:44.319 not only our police force, but other police force looked 116 00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:46.720 at it. Lawyers in British Columbia looked at it. So 117 00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:48.480 I figured, you know what, I'm going back to work. 118 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:51.439 So I do. I go back to work. And a 119 00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:53.920 couple of years later, two years. 120 00:06:53.720 --> 00:06:56.279 Now, after two years, after two. 121 00:06:56.199 --> 00:06:59.199 Years after, I have to testify as to what I 122 00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:01.600 did that night. And Helen, I always say this, if 123 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:03.879 someone asked you for all the details of something you 124 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:06.240 did two years ago, would you forget some things? 125 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:07.360 Absolutely? 126 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:09.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Now you wouldn't forget the major details. 127 00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:11.519 I didn't forget that I went in there. I didn't 128 00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:14.000 forget that I tasted them but little things that I made, 129 00:07:14.040 --> 00:07:18.519 mistakes on, little discrepancies that were accidental that I made 130 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:23.399 in my statements when I testified. Those were called deliberate lies. Right, 131 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:27.040 So I was accused of lying deliberately to cover up 132 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:30.160 what happened. There's no reason that I would have done that. 133 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:33.839 Like I said before, I was cleared of doing anything wrong. 134 00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:35.759 I was told that I did everything right. I was 135 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:37.720 back to work. I just figured I'm going to go 136 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:39.600 testify at this inquiry, do the best. I can't go 137 00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:42.240 back to work. I figure it's done. I go home 138 00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:48.120 from testifying after three days, and I'm at home a 139 00:07:48.120 --> 00:07:51.120 few months later and I go check the mailbox. There's 140 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:53.480 a letter waiting for me, and the letter says, Quacy Millington, 141 00:07:54.040 --> 00:07:58.399 You've been charged with perjury. So I was charged criminally, 142 00:07:58.519 --> 00:08:02.519 not for anything I did at the airportsury, but for 143 00:08:02.759 --> 00:08:05.680 lying about what I said I did at the airport, 144 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:11.439 even though those were accidental mistakes. So I hope we're 145 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:13.759 following the timeline here, because it can get a little confusing. 146 00:08:13.800 --> 00:08:16.399 Sometimes you go to the incident, you testify about it, 147 00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:20.319 you're charged with lying about what you say happened. I've 148 00:08:20.360 --> 00:08:23.639 never lied, but I was still charged with perjury. A 149 00:08:23.720 --> 00:08:26.800 judge saw it differently. He convicted me and sentenced me 150 00:08:26.839 --> 00:08:28.160 to two and a half years in prison. 151 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:30.879 Two and a half and a. 152 00:08:30.879 --> 00:08:34.559 Half years in prison in Canada, you have to serve 153 00:08:34.600 --> 00:08:36.600 a third of your sentence, no matter if your good 154 00:08:36.600 --> 00:08:39.240 behavior or not, so two and a half years equates 155 00:08:39.279 --> 00:08:42.080 to thirty months. I eventually spent ten months in the 156 00:08:42.120 --> 00:08:45.919 Canadian correctional system and I lost my career. So my 157 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:48.679 career ended. I still remember the date, December twelfth, twenty seventeen. 158 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:50.600 That was the day that I got my paperwork saying 159 00:08:50.600 --> 00:08:55.919 that I was discharged aka fired from the RCMP. So 160 00:08:56.159 --> 00:08:59.360 that was twenty seventeen, and since then I've been kind 161 00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:03.240 of figuring out what's next in life. And yeah, that's 162 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:08.039 my background, that's what I used to do. Now I 163 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:11.120 have trying to use that going forward to make more 164 00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:13.720 of a positive impact with what I've learned, what I've 165 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:14.960 gone through to help other people. 166 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:17.200 Wow, that's amazing. 167 00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:19.559 I'll be honest with you, I haven't heard This is 168 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:22.200 the first time i've heard your full story about that, 169 00:09:23.639 --> 00:09:27.000 So thank you again for sharing that. Yeah, but and 170 00:09:27.159 --> 00:09:29.720 how was it for you like when everything was stripped away, 171 00:09:29.799 --> 00:09:33.240 Like that's your career, that's your identity. Like what was 172 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:36.080 what was your hardest part through that whole process? Like, 173 00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:39.000 once you've served your sentence, where did you move? 174 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:39.600 Like? 175 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:40.799 How did you move forward from that? 176 00:09:42.279 --> 00:09:44.960 Yeah? No, I mean there's how did I move forward? 177 00:09:44.960 --> 00:09:47.080 What was the hardest part? Like if I think of 178 00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:49.600 those questions kind of separately, that I guess the hardest 179 00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:55.039 part You mentioned identity. Yeah, as in policing, it's I 180 00:09:55.039 --> 00:09:57.120 think a little bit different than a lot of other careers. 181 00:09:57.399 --> 00:09:59.519 You do wrap your identity up in what you do 182 00:09:59.559 --> 00:10:03.000 as a first responder, right, police, fire, certain other careers 183 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:05.960 as well, And so I was a police officer, right, 184 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:08.600 So it was almost like there was Quacy the police officer. 185 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:10.919 I kind of wrapped myself up into that. So the 186 00:10:10.960 --> 00:10:13.200 hardest part was trying to figure out who am I 187 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:18.080 outside of that, And that was a challenge for me. 188 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:22.559 And I remember I was in when I was inside. 189 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:25.879 If you will, everybody has to get a job, and 190 00:10:26.399 --> 00:10:30.480 my job ended up being as a prison tutor. So 191 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:33.120 I went to the school and I was an English tutor. 192 00:10:33.639 --> 00:10:36.000 I helped some So I worked in the school and 193 00:10:36.039 --> 00:10:37.279 some of the inmates in there you can get your 194 00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:39.600 high school diploma when you're in prison. So a lot 195 00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:41.799 of guys, they say about seventy to eighty percent of 196 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:44.159 prison inmates in Canada don't have a high school diploma. 197 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:48.000 I do. So I ended up tutoring a lot of 198 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:49.399 the guys that helped some of them write their pro 199 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:52.159 board letters. And by the time I walked out of 200 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:55.240 those prison doors, that helped about thirty inmates, over thirty 201 00:10:55.279 --> 00:10:57.799 in mates to get their high school diplomas, and that 202 00:10:57.960 --> 00:11:00.159 was something that was enriching to me. But what I 203 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:02.639 learned from that is the teacher that was inside. He 204 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:05.600 had a master's degree. He was always well dressed, and 205 00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:08.879 he used to tell me that he loved being in there, 206 00:11:08.919 --> 00:11:12.399 even though I know he could have taught anywhere, because 207 00:11:12.399 --> 00:11:14.120 he wanted to help some of those guys get out 208 00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:17.879 so they never came back. And he always told me, 209 00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:19.279 this is why I do what I do. This is 210 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:21.759 why I do what I do, and that why stuck 211 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.240 with me. And so when I think of my identity, 212 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:27.039 and the hardest part of kind of getting through everything 213 00:11:27.159 --> 00:11:30.200 was figuring out, Okay, why did I become a police officer? 214 00:11:30.840 --> 00:11:33.080 And can I hold onto that going forward? So I 215 00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:35.919 became a police officer to help other people, right, And 216 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:37.840 it sounds very cliche, but that's why I did it. 217 00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:39.960 I did it because I did it also because I 218 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:41.440 didn't want to work a nine to five under a 219 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:44.039 cubicle in lights. I wanted to work outside and help 220 00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:46.399 people and do different things every day. And I figure, Okay, 221 00:11:46.440 --> 00:11:47.919 how can I do that? How can I help people 222 00:11:47.960 --> 00:11:50.519 in a different environment. And by sticking to that as 223 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:52.799 opposed to the police and career, I was able to 224 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:55.360 forge a new identity because I know, Okay, I can't 225 00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:57.240 be a police officer anymore, but I can still help 226 00:11:57.240 --> 00:11:59.759 people in other ways. So I got back into personal 227 00:11:59.799 --> 00:12:03.200 try and then eventually now what I do is I'm 228 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:04.240 a speaker and I'm a coach. 229 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:07.519 And where do you Where do you do most of 230 00:12:07.559 --> 00:12:08.120 your speaking? 231 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:12.360 Yes? So what Yeah? Most of my speaking is with 232 00:12:12.759 --> 00:12:17.240 either two main markets, first responders or frontline workers, anyone 233 00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:22.240 who deals with you know, first responder, law enforcement, health 234 00:12:22.240 --> 00:12:25.039 and safety, those types of people, or with young people. 235 00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:27.559 I end up in the education space. I work with 236 00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:32.440 CADA twelve and college and university students. The topic is 237 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:36.360 the same mental health, resilience, overcoming challenges and those are 238 00:12:36.399 --> 00:12:37.559 Those are the people that I speak to. 239 00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:40.320 And there's one thing that you had mentioned to me, 240 00:12:40.399 --> 00:12:43.600 this is it's like your your mission and I put 241 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:45.840 that in the title of the show. It's not your reality, 242 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:49.240 it's your response that matters. Can you expand on that. 243 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:53.159 Yes, And I'd love to say that brilliant line is. 244 00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:55.159 Most I love it. I actually love it. 245 00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:58.000 Yeah, I use it now And I kind of altered 246 00:12:58.000 --> 00:12:59.399 a little bit of what my mother used to say. 247 00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:02.480 But it's my mother is lying. I come from a 248 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:05.039 single parent home. My dad left when I was My 249 00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:06.759 dad left when I was five, And Helen, we've known 250 00:13:06.799 --> 00:13:08.320 each other for a while, but now you're like getting 251 00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:11.919 to know me me right, Yes, I am so. My 252 00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:14.399 dad left when I was five, and my mom was 253 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:16.279 never bitter about it. She never took them to court. 254 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:18.320 She never did some of the things you might expect 255 00:13:18.360 --> 00:13:19.879 someone to do, like he cheated on her, he had 256 00:13:19.879 --> 00:13:22.360 a child with another woman. There's a cool Young and 257 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:26.559 Restless story behind that. But I'm aging myself with Young 258 00:13:26.600 --> 00:13:32.039 and the Restless. Say I used to watch it, Yeah, okay, 259 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:32.600 fair enough for. 260 00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:33.840 Back in high school. 261 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:35.799 Yeah yeah, yeah, we al used to watch it. That 262 00:13:35.879 --> 00:13:37.360 in days of our Lives was my other one I 263 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:40.600 used to watch. But anyways, and so she never did 264 00:13:40.679 --> 00:13:42.759 any of those things that you might think someone that 265 00:13:42.919 --> 00:13:44.840 has been you know, hurt like that might do. And 266 00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:47.679 years later I sat down with her and I'm like, Mom, 267 00:13:47.720 --> 00:13:50.159 you were never bitter. You encouraged me that relationship with dad. 268 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:52.639 How did you do it? And she said, you know, 269 00:13:52.720 --> 00:13:56.399 I chose not to be bitter and that was her choice. 270 00:13:57.679 --> 00:13:59.600 She's always reminded me of that, even when I went 271 00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:00.960 through what I went through. You can choose to be 272 00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:02.759 better at the RCP. You can choose to be bitter 273 00:14:02.759 --> 00:14:05.200 at everything that happens, or you can move on. And 274 00:14:05.240 --> 00:14:08.200 she said, you're going to be facing things that are unfair, unpredictable, 275 00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:09.519 and uncontrollable in your life. 276 00:14:09.879 --> 00:14:12.279 But she said, it's not your reality that matters, it's 277 00:14:12.279 --> 00:14:17.480 your response exactly. He said that years before any of 278 00:14:17.480 --> 00:14:19.679 this policing stuff happened, years before I even became a 279 00:14:19.679 --> 00:14:20.440 police officer. 280 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:24.559 So I stuck. I held onto that, and now I 281 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:27.799 share that. It's kind of my mission to remind the 282 00:14:27.840 --> 00:14:29.799 people that I speak to that no matter what you're 283 00:14:29.799 --> 00:14:32.080 going to and it applies to everybody. For police officers, 284 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:34.279 it's not your reality. It's not the reality of the 285 00:14:34.279 --> 00:14:36.639 fact that maybe you didn't get the promotion, or something 286 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:39.840 happened that you wish didn't happen, or personal relationship didn't 287 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:42.240 go the way you wanted it to. With students, it's 288 00:14:42.279 --> 00:14:44.559 not the test that you failed. It's not you know, 289 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:47.360 the girl that dumped you. It's not the reality of 290 00:14:47.399 --> 00:14:49.519 the fact that maybe your parents don't support the dream 291 00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:52.240 you will have in your life. It's how you respond 292 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.679 to it that matters. So the tagline really applies no 293 00:14:54.720 --> 00:14:55.639 matter what age I'm. 294 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:59.200 Speaking to, no matter what age. Oh, I like that 295 00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:02.399 because I did see some videos of you, mostly like 296 00:15:02.440 --> 00:15:05.559 with students. How did they respond to you when you're 297 00:15:05.799 --> 00:15:08.759 when you're up there doing your thing, like you must 298 00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:12.000 feel so supercharged just knowing that you get to share 299 00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:15.399 your story. How did the students actually respond to that? 300 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:15.919 For you? 301 00:15:16.759 --> 00:15:19.080 Yeah, And and you know, my story that I share 302 00:15:19.080 --> 00:15:21.159 with students is a little bit different. I mean what 303 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:23.399 I just told you forms the bulk of what I 304 00:15:23.399 --> 00:15:26.200 share with first responders. With students, I like to kind 305 00:15:26.200 --> 00:15:28.799 of go back to their world. So I actually share 306 00:15:29.320 --> 00:15:32.879 about a small, very small percentage of my whole story 307 00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:35.120 with the students in my life. Okay, you know that 308 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:37.440 I do with them, but I talk more about the 309 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:39.360 things I've gone through when I was their age, Failing 310 00:15:39.399 --> 00:15:43.320 in school, having a crush on a curl, you know, 311 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:46.440 not university, trying to get in like all the things 312 00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:48.399 that I went through when I was their age. To 313 00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:50.320 make it, you know, even more applicable to them, I 314 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:53.559 do share parts of my story, but to ask answer 315 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:57.440 your question, there's no there's nothing like standing in front of, 316 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:00.879 you know, hundreds or even thousands sometimes of you know, 317 00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:03.799 young people that you know they're not sure about you 318 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:07.200 at first, but then you know, you share with them, 319 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:09.720 and then they share with you. Sometimes they cry, Yeah, 320 00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:11.960 sometimes they share things they haven't shared with a lot 321 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.039 of people, and it creates some some special moments. 322 00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:15.799 I love that. 323 00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:18.480 I love the fact that you're planning seeds, right, You're 324 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:20.559 planning seeds with them, and then it's up to them 325 00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:23.519 what they're going to do with your story, you know, 326 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:26.000 whatever it is that you share to help them move 327 00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:30.080 forward on their journey. Because I'm a firm believer like 328 00:16:30.360 --> 00:16:33.799 what you think becomes your reality, I'm huge on that. 329 00:16:33.879 --> 00:16:37.000 So it's again, it's playing the seeds very much so, 330 00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:39.039 you know, you create your own reality just by your 331 00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:42.120 thoughts alone and the things that you choose. But it's 332 00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:46.440 also understanding that you know, everything happens for a reason obviously, 333 00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:50.759 and you know you wanted to be of service, you 334 00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:53.440 wanted to help others. It just kind of went it 335 00:16:53.519 --> 00:16:56.440 came about it in a different way. And you know, 336 00:16:56.519 --> 00:17:00.200 you did help others inside an actual prison, Like how 337 00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:03.039 amazing is that to make a difference for those who 338 00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:06.559 did something wrong, if they were charged wrong or committed something. 339 00:17:06.920 --> 00:17:10.359 But the fact that you also help them to get, 340 00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:14.240 you know, high school diploma, even that alone. 341 00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:18.640 Is rewarding. And especially a lot of them, a lot 342 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:21.640 of them were kind of guarded at first. When you know, 343 00:17:21.960 --> 00:17:24.440 they pretend they don't want it, right, they come into 344 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:30.400 whatever I got to do this education disagree, But then 345 00:17:30.759 --> 00:17:33.200 you know, when it's time to graduate, they're like, yo, 346 00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:36.759 when am I getting that diploma? You know, so you 347 00:17:36.799 --> 00:17:39.839 can you can see the pride when they absolutely come 348 00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:41.920 back and know they've gotten it and they've earned it. 349 00:17:43.160 --> 00:17:45.200 It's a special it's a special thing there too. 350 00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:50.720 So going back to to you, okay, because I want 351 00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:54.000 to come back to you. Did forgiveness become part of 352 00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:58.559 your healing journey or it's forgiveness. Would you say overrated? 353 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:03.759 I don't think forgive this is overrated because I think some. 354 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:07.359 People might think, oh, just forgive, just forgive, But I 355 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.119 believe it's who you are, and that's a huge part 356 00:18:10.200 --> 00:18:14.519 of our human existence. I believe is forget well, forgiving 357 00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:20.119 ourselves first, even forgiving the judge, how about that one. 358 00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:23.799 Yeah, No, definitely, there's there's a lot of elements there 359 00:18:23.839 --> 00:18:26.640 like forgiving. I mean there's you know, people that were 360 00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:31.119 within the RCMP that could have done things differently that 361 00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:33.359 I need to forgive. And you're right for forgiving the 362 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:39.240 judge and say that, you know, I always assume people 363 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:44.519 act with knowledge that I don't have any access to. Right, 364 00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:48.759 So even if I was bitter against the judge and 365 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:51.400 I feel like he was out to get me, at 366 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:54.920 the end of the day, he's making a decision based 367 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:59.000 on factors in his mind that he sees that I 368 00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:02.200 don't know about things in his past that have happened 369 00:19:02.440 --> 00:19:05.119 that led him to being in front of me in 370 00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:08.680 that courtroom. All the years that he's gone through, all 371 00:19:08.720 --> 00:19:11.119 the things that he's gone through, led him to the 372 00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:13.519 mindset that he has the decisions that he's made. I 373 00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:16.519 don't know any of that. So forgiveness for me is 374 00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:18.640 not saying I forgive you, but it's about saying there 375 00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:20.880 are things I don't know, so because I'm ignorant to 376 00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:23.759 the whole story, yeah, I won't pass judgment on it. 377 00:19:23.799 --> 00:19:26.200 So that's kind of what forgiveness means and allows me 378 00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:31.240 to say authentically, I forgive because I don't know everything. 379 00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:35.799 So that's that's the same thing I use. I don't know. 380 00:19:36.319 --> 00:19:39.119 I don't know all the things that went on in 381 00:19:39.119 --> 00:19:42.160 his life that led him to say, you know what, 382 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:48.359 I'm gonna be an ABSENTIFA. I don't know everything. It hurts, 383 00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:51.240 But at the same time, I don't know everything that 384 00:19:51.279 --> 00:19:53.440 he went through in his life to lead him to 385 00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:56.880 that making that decision. So forgiveness for me is just 386 00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:00.839 pleading ignorance as opposed to saying, give you you know. 387 00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:05.319 And what would you say to someone listening right now 388 00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:10.119 who may say feel stuck or broken or believes that 389 00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.680 life has been unfair to them, What would you say 390 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:14.039 to them, M. 391 00:20:16.079 --> 00:20:17.839 Yeah, if you're there, if you're out there and you're 392 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.519 you believe that life has broken you, I will say 393 00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:24.279 that there are probably things that are in your future 394 00:20:24.359 --> 00:20:30.559 that you can't even imagine that could only happen if 395 00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:34.440 you're going through what you're going through right now. And 396 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:36.640 this is where faith comes into play. You have to 397 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:42.079 say to yourself, there must be something that will happen 398 00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:45.680 because of this that needs to happen. I could have 399 00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:50.000 never foreseen what I'm doing now as part of my life. 400 00:20:50.119 --> 00:20:51.799 I didn't even want it. I wanted to be a 401 00:20:51.799 --> 00:20:56.160