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Speaker 1: Fast Food Horror is an Abbey normal production. Hey listeners,

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it's e J over here at Fast Food Horror. Yeah,

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we're in spooky season, and yes I said we were

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going to go to a once a month release, but

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given that it is spooky season, I thought we'd give

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you guys a little extra. So for the next two weeks,

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we're going to explore some urban legends, starting with my favorite,

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a retelling, a reimagining, a re nightmaring of the hook,

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as told by our favorite story teller by the camp fire,

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the best place to enjoy a creepy, spooky, scary urban legend.

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Why hello there, you have chilled to the bone. Why

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don't you come around the fire and set a spell

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and I'll spring you? Ayar hmm. Perhaps you've heard this story,

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a story of a young couple stranded, either accidentally or purposely,

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that part is up for debate, full of desire and

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passion in their car one night, and a man with

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an unquenchable thirst, full of his own desire and passion,

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and a hook. Hum, look at that moon. Perhaps on

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a night such as this, where the veil between this

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world and that is at its finnest, we can call

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on one of the spirits that were involved to tell

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their story. Would you like that to hear the story

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directly from the horse's mouth, as it were. Then take

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a breath, my friend, Lean close to the fire, Gaze

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into the flames, Focus on the colors between the oranges

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and the red, now the blue, the hottest part of

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the flame, and call out the spirit of Zane Breen,

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Zay Breen, and listen to his story. Hello, Hello, Why Hello,

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dear Zay. I have a weary traveler here who would

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like to hear your story? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, I I mean there are parts that are

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are a little foggy and frankly, the part that got

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me here where wherever here is well, I don't even

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know how I even got here. Do your best, and

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maybe by sharing it'll all come back to you. Oh okay, okay, okay,

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Well here I go. So Lexi and I were driving

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back from homecoming. We've we've been dating for a few months.

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We really love like I love her. We just have

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a seid it to each other yet, but I think

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she loves me too. I finally got my license last month,

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but I don't have a car. I usually borrow my

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parents' minivan, but this was homecoming. I wanted something cool,

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something where cheerios wouldn't accidentally get stuck to my sports

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coat when I sat down from one of my younger

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sisters snacks. I don't have the money for a limo,

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so I asked my older brother to borrow his car,

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a midnight blue Dodge Charger. He bought it a police

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auction and fixed it up, lots of fixing up, lots

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and lots, but damn, sorry for my language, it looked cool.

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It only cost me a month's worth of chores in exchange,

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but it would be worth it to drive Lexi in

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that We had a great time with our friends at homecoming,

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and I didn't embarrass myself dancing. Well, at least she didn't.

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Speaker 1: Laugh at me.

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Speaker 2: She wouldn't laugh at me, she's too nice to do that.

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We stayed till the end, then went to Sammy's place,

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the diner in town, to get some food and hang

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out with everyone before I went to take Lexi home. Unfortunately,

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time got away from both of us, and I was

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going to be late getting her home if I didn't

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hustle or take an inventive shortcut. I thought about speeding,

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then thought about my parents' reaction if I got a ticket,

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or my brother's reaction if I crashed his car. So

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I went with the inventive shortcut LEXI. She lives on

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the other side of town. And if I learned anything

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from missus Miller's math class, was that the shortest distance

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between two points is a straight line, and that straight

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line would take us right through the park and through

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Forest Lawn Cemetery, the largest cemetery for the county. It

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would easily shave twenty minutes off for our drive. Though

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it was smooth sailing, absolutely no traffic. It was so

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picturesque too, the headlights catching all the foliage that had

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changed from greens to red and yellows. It looked like

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the trees were on fire. As we sped down the

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lane through the park and then into the cemetery, I

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looked at the clock nervously. We were gonna make it,

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We were gonna be on time. And then did I

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mention my brother's car was a fixer upper. As we

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made our way through the cemetery, I felt, as well

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as heard the engine began to conk out, and then

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we drifted to a stop. I looked at the gas

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gage still half tank, which was the extent of my

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engine knowledge. I tried to restart it, to no avail.

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We sat there in the middle of the cemetery, completely

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in the dark except for the moonlight, trying to figure

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out our next move. After a few minutes, Lexi went

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to go text her parents that we were running a

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few minutes late because the car broke down. We reread

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the text and we both agreed it sounded lame, but

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it was the truth and that wasn't the biggest problem.

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The text wouldn't go through. I tried to text my

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parents too, then tried to text my brother again. They

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wouldn't go through. After twenty minutes, I came up with

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what I thought was a good idea. LEXI could stay

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here safe in the car, and I would walk the

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remainder of the way four miles through the cemetery to

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the gas station that was on the other side, and

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I would come back with help, and if I could

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get close enough to apparently a cell tower to have

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a reception, I would send off texts to both my

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parents and her parents and let them know the situation.

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She was not completely thrilled with the idea of sitting

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at a cemetery by herself in the middle of the night.

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But I told her that if someone happened to pass by,

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at least they might be able to help get the

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car fixed and running. We embraced and she gave me

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a kiss, a long one, and that was all I

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needed to give me a little extra incentive to get

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back to her asap. I set off down the lane

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at a quick pace and found myself regretting my decision

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to leave the car, Surrounded by headstones and the shadows

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they cast, trees hanging ominously over the lane, and with

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each breeze of wind, a new rustle that I needed

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to convince myself was not a threat. Eighteen minutes in

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my anxiety ridden walk in the relative silence was broken

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by my cell phone. A local alert broke with the

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all too familiar sounder. I reached for my cell which

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now had reception yay, and read the text. David Howard Simms,

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a convince murderer, had broken out of state prison. He

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is considered dangerous and not to be approached. Any person

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south of Town Park should lock their doors and not

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venture out until further notice. I remembered hearing about that

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case from my brother, David Howard Simms had killed eleven people,

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butchered them, really gutting them and hanging them from trees

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using the hook he had for a hand, south of

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the park, south of the I was south of the park.

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Lexi was south of the park and alone in the car.

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I started running back to her, sprinting until I saw him,

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a large, dark frame of a man standing in my

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way in the lane, just standing and watching. I was

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about to ask if he could help, until I saw

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his right hand, or rather right hook, in the moonlight.

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He charged at me, and I turned and I ran

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for the headstones and mausoleums, trying to lose them in

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the shadows and the darkness, blindly running. I'd come back

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for Lexi. She'd be okay. She was in the car

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after all. And then I felt something hit my head

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and hurt, a crack, and then darkness.

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Speaker 1: What happened? Am I did I make it? Is?

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Speaker 2: Lexi? Okay? Tell me she's okay.

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Speaker 1: Now, Now let me try and fill in the blanks.

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That crack you heard was the impact of a branch

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being swung at your head by mister Sims, who gently

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scooped up your prone body and carried you back to Lexi,

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who was having her own problems with her imagination playing

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tricks on her alone at night in a cemetery. She

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had no idea that mister Simms was even out there.

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All she knew was you off in the dark, going

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for help. And then the pounding started on the roof

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of the car. It scared her so much, the constant banging,

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again and again. She had no idea what or who

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it was. No one was there to help or save her.

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She couldn't see anyone out the windows, but was assaulted

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by the constant banging from on the roof. She wished

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you were there, Zane. Through her tears and sobbing cries,

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she called for you with each bang and pound upon

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the car's roof, Zaye Zaane. Then, slowly, ever, slowly, the

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banging became an irregular tap tap tap, followed by her

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simpering cries and your name. She had no idea you

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were there so close. You see, mister Simms had strung

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you up from the tree above the car with a noose,

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and the banging was your body and its death throes,

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your feet pounding against the roof trying to get purchased

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as you fought for your life until you couldn't fight

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any longer, and stopped the tapping. The tapping was your

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body swaying in the breeze as it tapped across the

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car's roof, Tap tap tap. I know Sims always gutted

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his victims. He waited till Lexi passed out from terror

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and exhaustion, and then he ran his hook down your midsection,

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spilling you out on the car softly so as not

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to awaken Lexi. He wanted the scene to be found

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just that way. Lexi survived. The police found her asleep

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on the floor of the car David Howard Simms. The

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hook was never seen again. Now, traveler, how did you

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enjoy the yarn I spun? May I advise as you

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continue on your travels from taking any shortcuts Itz