WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.760 --> 00:00:06.879 Hey, guys, So as Mercury Retrograde would have it, I 2 00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:09.480 tried to record this podcast twice and the audio didn't 3 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:12.759 work either time, So the audio is screwed up on 4 00:00:13.480 --> 00:00:15.960 this episode. I'm so sorry. It'll be back to normal 5 00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:19.719 next week. But the good news is the Patreon is 6 00:00:19.960 --> 00:00:23.920 extra long this week. It's basically like a whole second episode. 7 00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:26.879 So if you're not subscribed to the Patreon run over there, 8 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:29.160 go subscribe. We have an extra long one this week. 9 00:00:29.239 --> 00:00:31.519 The audio is screwed up on both of them, but 10 00:00:31.559 --> 00:00:34.200 the content is just as good as always. So I'm 11 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:38.039 so sorry, besties. I hope you enjoy I love you lots, 12 00:00:38.039 --> 00:00:41.119 and everything will be back to normal next week, I promise. 13 00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:41.960 Well. 14 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:47.039 Well, well, welcome back, besties, Welcome to your Monday. 15 00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:49.359 I'm so happy we made it through another weekend. 16 00:00:50.759 --> 00:00:52.719 If you were with me and Phoenix this weekend, I 17 00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:59.640 love you so much. We have the best time. I 18 00:01:00.039 --> 00:01:01.439 and you guys have created a bit. 19 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:04.560 Of an issue with this bird feeder. The pigeons. 20 00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:09.920 The pigeons, I've started knocking on my window when they're 21 00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:11.439 out of food with their little beaks. 22 00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:13.920 They look think, think, and then you look at me 23 00:01:13.959 --> 00:01:16.959 with their orange eyes, and they're like leeries our food. 24 00:01:18.439 --> 00:01:20.319 So we're. 25 00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:23.879 This is why we can't have nice things, you know, 26 00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:26.159 This is why we can't have nice things because of 27 00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:27.120 fucking pigeons. 28 00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:31.040 Because you give an engine, they take a mile. You 29 00:01:31.079 --> 00:01:34.560 give an inchine, they take your sleep from you. I'm 30 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:37.840 also up worn with these flies in my apartment and 31 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:41.719 just the general adversity of living in New York City 32 00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:45.879 has been wearing me down. But you guys, I brought 33 00:01:45.879 --> 00:01:47.840 a guest back that you guys loved a lot. 34 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:49.280 The first time we had around, and I hope you 35 00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:51.280 guys loved this episode just as much as the first. 36 00:01:51.400 --> 00:01:57.280 Please enjoy my episode with Dicey back by popular demand. Visit. 37 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:02.400 Oh hey everybody, Oh she's bad. She walked into me 38 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:04.879 having a complete. 39 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:11.439 White girl milk over a marble ass table downstairs. 40 00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:15.919 Okay, Well, to be fair, first of all, this Mercury 41 00:02:15.960 --> 00:02:17.120 retrograde is not normal. 42 00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:19.080 It's not it's not normal. 43 00:02:19.479 --> 00:02:22.879 It has a gun, bitch, and it's fucking binge like 44 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:27.759 it's coming for us, this retrograde. The block is hotpage block, 45 00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:35.960 the block is like it's hot on this mercury retrograde. 46 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:44.000 Oh my god, So I hired this guy especially come in. 47 00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:48.000 I hired this guy. I am working with it. Okay, 48 00:02:48.039 --> 00:02:48.759 I don't even want. 49 00:02:48.599 --> 00:02:50.000 To say the company because I don't want to like 50 00:02:50.039 --> 00:02:51.800 dog them out like this. But I hired this guy 51 00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:53.479 to move this table from Brooklyn to here. 52 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:54.319 It's a little. 53 00:02:54.280 --> 00:02:57.639 Marble coffee table. It's fucking heavy. It's like three hundred pounds. 54 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:01.840 I live in a walk up. He got here with 55 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:04.360 his buddy. They rolled the table in. The table has 56 00:03:04.360 --> 00:03:06.319 wheels on the bottom, so they rolled it in and 57 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:08.319 they got to the stairs. They looked at the stairs 58 00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:13.360 and they were like, I don't think so, And I 59 00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:15.319 was like, what do you mean you don't think so? 60 00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:18.520 They didn't even try to lift it. They didn't even attempt. 61 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:20.439 It's a table. Look at this big hivy. 62 00:03:20.479 --> 00:03:23.080 Y's big, like all the stuff that have come up 63 00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:26.319 those little stairs, right, you know, not just this, not 64 00:03:26.439 --> 00:03:26.680 just you. 65 00:03:26.919 --> 00:03:28.120 It is a coffee table. 66 00:03:28.199 --> 00:03:30.639 It's a coffee and they understand that that it's made 67 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:33.280 of marble, and I know it's heavy, but these guys 68 00:03:33.319 --> 00:03:36.159 just looked at it, looked at me, looked at it, 69 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:37.759 and then they looked at me and they said, do 70 00:03:37.879 --> 00:03:39.599 you have any ideas? 71 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:42.800 They asked like you worked there like you work here. 72 00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:45.639 I was like, this is not my task. This is 73 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:48.759 your task that you accepted. So you got to pay 74 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:49.599 them and come. 75 00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:51.719 Up with the right ideas on how they like sh 76 00:03:51.960 --> 00:03:54.639 up the stairs, crazy insanity. 77 00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:56.360 I was like, I thought it was simple, and then 78 00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:58.599 I even offered to help. I was like, how about this, 79 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:01.400 you guys, Let's put it on this moving pad. You 80 00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:04.280 guys push from the bottom, two grown men push from 81 00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:07.039 the bottom. I'll guide it and I'll pull from the top. 82 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.000 They didn't even want to try. 83 00:04:09.560 --> 00:04:15.000 They're like, we're gonna leave. What will come back tomorrow? 84 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:15.680 Is what they told me. 85 00:04:15.719 --> 00:04:17.959 They said, we'll come back tomorrow. And it's like, okay, great. 86 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:21.680 They said, we think it's gonna take four guys for 87 00:04:21.839 --> 00:04:27.920 three hundred pounds, right. I was like, are y'all okay? No, 88 00:04:28.199 --> 00:04:32.000 aren't y'all good? So they say it's gonna take four guys. 89 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:33.560 They'll come back tomorrow, which is today. 90 00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:35.199 So I text them, I'm like, hey, when are you 91 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:37.800 guys coming back? Because my building just let me know 92 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:40.240 that if this table stays down there another night, I 93 00:04:40.360 --> 00:04:45.199 incur a five hundred dollars fee. I don't have a 94 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:48.480 loose five hundred dollars. I've never had a loose five 95 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:49.360 hundred dollars. 96 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:54.680 And this is the part where I walked in and 97 00:04:54.759 --> 00:04:56.959 then dicey well, I said, smoke's blowing. 98 00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:59.000 Out of my fucking ears and I'm like, oh, it's 99 00:04:59.079 --> 00:05:02.360 cute here, and you're just looking at me. 100 00:05:02.439 --> 00:05:04.120 Look, and I don't know you pretty well, I don't 101 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:07.240 know when it just okay, let me just retreat. You 102 00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:11.360 just made a coffee, you sat down, and then I. 103 00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:13.639 Think you screamed the tell your pillows. 104 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:17.360 Well, no, that was when I couldn't find the extension 105 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:18.759 court to sell the podcast. 106 00:05:19.079 --> 00:05:20.360 Then we really fell apart. 107 00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:24.879 Was an extraordinary, extraordinary way. I was like, hang on, 108 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:26.720 let me just scream it to my pillows real quick, 109 00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:32.600 and said, well, worst things have happened, you know, well 110 00:05:32.600 --> 00:05:34.920 they have and they have the worst things will continue 111 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:36.759 to happen. But the thing that bugged me the most 112 00:05:36.839 --> 00:05:39.000 is the guy's like, I'm gonna cancel the task, but pay. 113 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:40.879 Me for half because I got it from Brooklyn to 114 00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:41.439 hear and I was. 115 00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:45.800 Like, you know, I want to, but can you go 116 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:48.720 finish the task and I'll just pay you for the 117 00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:52.560 whole task And he's like, no, just pay me for 118 00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:54.759 the work that's already done. And I just was like, 119 00:05:56.399 --> 00:05:58.560 first of all, I'm doing a promo with the company 120 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:01.839 that he was, and so they. 121 00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:02.480 Gave me a voucher. 122 00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:06.240 So the money I was using was like free money, 123 00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:08.120 like fun want you get what you pay for it? 124 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:10.959 Well no, no no no no no, because like it's 125 00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:13.879 real money to him, but it's like fun Bucks and 126 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:14.240 to me. 127 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:17.360 But now he's asking me for my real money for 128 00:06:17.399 --> 00:06:20.120 a job he didn't finish. And I just was like, 129 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:23.120 can you just please come finish it? And he's like, no, 130 00:06:23.439 --> 00:06:25.680 I spent this much on gas, I spent this much 131 00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:28.240 much on tolls. And you know, he's like, I'll just 132 00:06:28.279 --> 00:06:30.720 explain to my partner the character of the people in 133 00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:34.120 this world, the character. Yeah, because I wouldn't pay him 134 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:35.279 for a task he didn't complete. 135 00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:39.120 Oh he has sexual character. He attacked my character. I 136 00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:41.759 will lever review if you're not going to blast them here, 137 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:42.680 but at. 138 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:44.879 Least I think I'm just going to talk to the 139 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:46.800 company because I'm working with them and I just want 140 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:48.160 to be like, this guy did this. 141 00:06:48.439 --> 00:06:50.120 He put me in a horrible position, and then he 142 00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:51.439 attacked my character. 143 00:06:51.839 --> 00:06:55.439 And then I had to screen my scrumped because really, 144 00:06:55.639 --> 00:06:58.759 if he moved it from Brooklyn, then they already knew how. 145 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:01.879 Heavy it was. They were right, you know, it's kind 146 00:07:01.879 --> 00:07:03.639 of like finish the job. 147 00:07:05.199 --> 00:07:05.399 Yeah. 148 00:07:05.480 --> 00:07:07.519 I think they saw the stairs and they're like, no, 149 00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:09.800 I mean they are some narrow stairs. 150 00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:13.079 You have to be pretty fatigue good thing alpatite. Yeah, 151 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:15.240 I know they are. They are any tuline stairs. 152 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:17.160 But I will say I had the Russian men that 153 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:20.240 moved all this furniture into this place. I mean they 154 00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:24.079 dogged heavier ship up those stairs. They were Russian, there 155 00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:27.439 were something. They were Eastern European of some sort. Brittany 156 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:31.319 doesn't believe I speak Russian. Tast does not do speak. 157 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:33.920 It was my minor in college. Literally, so what I 158 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:36.160 took seven years of German. That doesn't mean I speak German. 159 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:38.199 I speak Russian. And I was speaking. 160 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:44.560 Speaking, I was speaking yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. 161 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:50.759 I speak that ship. Yeah. It's like the weirdest lie. 162 00:07:51.879 --> 00:07:57.199 But it's not. It's not the weirdest lie. If you 163 00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:00.279 heard of all, nobody wants to speak Russian. It's the 164 00:08:00.360 --> 00:08:01.319 ugliest language. 165 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:05.439 Well they're gonna, I believe, first of all, do you 166 00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:06.879 these Russian but just have their. 167 00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:10.199 Own babies on YouTube. Okay, have you seen this or 168 00:08:10.279 --> 00:08:12.480 what do you mean? Their own babies? They deliver their 169 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:13.480 own babies. 170 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:17.160 Like and that inspired, you know, but that that didn't 171 00:08:17.319 --> 00:08:21.000 let me back. What inspired me was that I'm scared 172 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:23.560 of them and that they're going to they're gonna be 173 00:08:23.839 --> 00:08:27.480 the downfall of America and I'm gonna be here. 174 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:35.279 You're gonna start learning Nanda. Yeah, I'm not scared enough. Chinese, 175 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:40.440 you Russian? That's crazy. 176 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.960 One day, one day, I'm gonna one day it's gonna 177 00:08:43.000 --> 00:08:46.440 be some Russians around us, and you're gonna. 178 00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:51.679 Right now and say what see, I don't, I don't. 179 00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:56.799 That's true. This is this is the true statement. If 180 00:08:56.799 --> 00:08:59.000 that sounds better than English, I don't. 181 00:08:58.799 --> 00:08:59.879 Even know you don't. 182 00:09:00.039 --> 00:09:03.440 Don't say I don't know pussy and Russia, anything in Russia. 183 00:09:04.200 --> 00:09:07.799 Any of you are Russian out there, Please get in 184 00:09:07.879 --> 00:09:10.159 touch and we're gonna have a whole conversation on the 185 00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:11.679 next the next time I'm here. 186 00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:17.639 Girl, Just the weird lie that you really I promise 187 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:20.000 you do not speak Russian. 188 00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:27.600 I can say, I can say, yeah, can say. 189 00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:30.759 That doesn't mean I can say I don't even need 190 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:38.279 in Russian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, needs no, that is that's 191 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:40.960 that's I don't. That is watch some of you. 192 00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:43.360 You have some Russian people that follow you, and they're 193 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:45.480 going to tell you that that means they are watched. 194 00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:50.080 They're gonna stay in the comments. She speaks and did 195 00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:56.320 I spa to you? That's hello saying yeah, look that's apple. 196 00:09:57.679 --> 00:09:59.440 You do not speak Russian. That's you don't. 197 00:09:59.559 --> 00:10:03.200 I just because you do dual lingo and you remember 198 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:05.200 three words, does that you speak Russian? 199 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:12.399 This is like, this is such a weird lie that 200 00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:17.799 you like, way over a year and a half ago 201 00:10:17.879 --> 00:10:19.840 when I told you you don't speak phone Russian. 202 00:10:21.240 --> 00:10:21.519 M h. 203 00:10:23.080 --> 00:10:26.879 God, that's weird, such a weird lie. 204 00:10:28.200 --> 00:10:31.559 Okay, anyway, more back to this mercury retrograde. I want 205 00:10:31.559 --> 00:10:35.519 to tell you about my day yesterday. Okay, you ready, sure? 206 00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:40.039 So I don't have a phone case on. That's the 207 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:40.639 way I live. 208 00:10:41.360 --> 00:10:44.360 I rod on the darkness and I rode on the 209 00:10:44.440 --> 00:10:49.919 world with my phone, and I was walking deep uneven sidewalks. 210 00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:50.840 Got to get used to those. 211 00:10:50.919 --> 00:10:53.480 They're all over in New York City. Trip that phone 212 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:57.080 you feel well, I didn't fall, but I did a 213 00:10:57.159 --> 00:11:04.480 body jolt and then the screen on my phone cracked, 214 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:07.360 So I took it to the Apple store yesterday, right 215 00:11:07.399 --> 00:11:10.320 to the Apple store, a little appointment. I didn't know 216 00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:14.080 it was supposed to rain yesterday. I don't think anyone knew. No, definitely, 217 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:16.360 just all of a sudden. This New York will test 218 00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:18.559 you in the strangest ways. So it's an hour and 219 00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:21.879 a half where you get your phone back, and it's dumb. 220 00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:24.639 Thing working out. So I walk home in the rain 221 00:11:24.879 --> 00:11:25.799 completely so I. 222 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:29.519 Had my Apple down for dinner already, had to change whatever. 223 00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:31.679 I go back to the Apple store after I tanged 224 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:33.279 into a dry outfit. It stopped here and you get 225 00:11:33.320 --> 00:11:38.120 my phone walking to dinner, you drop anything, bitch. 226 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:40.600 Four cracks in that phone? 227 00:11:41.480 --> 00:11:42.159 Mm hmmm. 228 00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:44.120 What do you think that means? 229 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:48.720 I think that means you're not as sleek as you 230 00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:51.360 think you are, Like, you know what I mean. That's 231 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:55.200 what that means, You're not You are not that far 232 00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:57.600 removed from cracking your phone. 233 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:02.679 Right, And I think we made the case. No, you're 234 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:04.440 still not gonna get a case. No, I'm not gonna 235 00:12:04.440 --> 00:12:07.279 get a case. I don't like that case, like it 236 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:08.279 makes it so much. 237 00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:10.600 Bigger and chunkier. I feel like this, Why don't you 238 00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:13.279 at least get the screen protector. Well, I have the 239 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:15.240 screen protector and I meant to put one on and 240 00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:16.600 then I cracked it. And then I was like after 241 00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:19.399 I after I got it fixed, I was like, I'm 242 00:12:19.399 --> 00:12:20.519 gonna put my last. 243 00:12:20.360 --> 00:12:21.840 One on, and then I went to dinner and then 244 00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:23.159 I cracked it before. 245 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:26.360 I even get my last screen. You know what, Well, 246 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:28.399 this is just what I do, because I know myself. 247 00:12:28.879 --> 00:12:31.120 Before I even take my new phone. 248 00:12:30.919 --> 00:12:32.639 Out of the box, I have a kick. I have 249 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:33.759 a spring protector on it. 250 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:37.879 And T Mobile has ay they have the screen protectors 251 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:39.840 you can buy and you can go get them replaced 252 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:40.720 every day if you want to. 253 00:12:40.759 --> 00:12:43.399 It's sixty dollars and you can crack the screen as 254 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.759 much as possible. Oh what do you have? 255 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:49.960 But what what do you want to get? Mint next 256 00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:55.399 midwires speak your Russia midwater less, I get yourself? 257 00:12:56.919 --> 00:12:59.279 What is wrong with T Mobile? They are so reliable. 258 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:01.399 They have every. 259 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:07.000 Tuesday they have these great deal you get free ice, coffee, 260 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:10.279 all kind of shit there you go with. Yeah, I 261 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:12.519 go get I use the parts that come up on 262 00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:15.720 the app. Anyway, what I'm saying is my phone is fine. 263 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:23.360 That's the moral less story. That Russian. Yeah, I really 264 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:27.799 rely on that coffee to keet you on this Russian. 265 00:13:27.879 --> 00:13:32.240 You don't speak the Pentagon won't appreciate me telling you 266 00:13:32.279 --> 00:13:35.559 that I speak Russian. The Pentagon would like, did I 267 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:37.360 tell you that? When my mom was in her. 268 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:42.080 Her like psychosis, she would always say, I'm calling the 269 00:13:42.159 --> 00:13:45.159 Pentagon on you. Really, you can call the Pentagon. Also, 270 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.279 she was sucking a guy from the Pentagon. So when 271 00:13:47.320 --> 00:13:49.879 her and my dad broke up, she was hooking up 272 00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:53.679 with this guy at the Pentagon, which I think we 273 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:58.720 really overlooked what an international home my mom was because 274 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:00.039 from big then Wistoons into. 275 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:03.399 The Pentagon is a pretty good reach for that pulsing. 276 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:08.039 I didn't know this was a room. Yeah, So anyway, 277 00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:09.480 she hung on to that for a long time. His 278 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:11.639 name was pitched. His name was Pitchford. I met him. 279 00:14:11.720 --> 00:14:13.000 I remember I met him and he got me a 280 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:15.759 Bonnie Balloon and I was like eleven. I was like, 281 00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:19.960 fucking good because you already had to period. But I know, right, well, 282 00:14:20.039 --> 00:14:20.639 not not me. 283 00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:23.279 I don't do anything my careiod until I was I 284 00:14:23.320 --> 00:14:30.759 got my period after I started before, right Yeah, but no, 285 00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:32.960 So anyway, she was looking up with this guy from 286 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:33.519 the Pentagon. 287 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:35.519 And I'm like, you guys, really think about that, because 288 00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:36.960 that's like the dawn of email. 289 00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:42.559 There's no there's barely cell phones, there's no texting, there's 290 00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:43.720 not instant messaging. 291 00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:47.000 She's snail mail having an affair with the guy from 292 00:14:47.039 --> 00:14:51.919 the Pentagon. That's pretty good on your cute dad, on 293 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:55.159 my cute dad. I know, my poor dad, my poor dad. 294 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:55.639 He found it. 295 00:14:55.759 --> 00:14:57.879 Oh he intercepted one of the letters and it was 296 00:14:57.960 --> 00:15:01.120 like a smart letter from the dude. 297 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:04.840 And then there was a common minute and I was like, 298 00:15:04.919 --> 00:15:10.919 you're just really disappointed that using protection. This is a 299 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:16.840 conversation you have with your dad. That's crazy. My dad 300 00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:19.519 and I have I mean whatever, It's not like I 301 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:25.600 had a yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I have thing. Yeah wow. 302 00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:28.440 And I forgot he was married. It who the other 303 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:29.360 woman he was married? 304 00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:30.639 Yeah? 305 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.360 That was your favorite. She was my favorite. When you 306 00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:35.799 used to send me videos of her, Oh my god, 307 00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:40.519 and you, Brittany, you go go to hell. 308 00:15:41.480 --> 00:15:45.639 She my ext mom was a raging drunk still is 309 00:15:47.799 --> 00:15:50.840 and she would get drunk and pop the fuck off 310 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:53.240 at us. And she had one who blare melt down, which. 311 00:15:53.159 --> 00:15:56.720 Was Thanksgiving and I had I had called takes the Britney, 312 00:15:56.759 --> 00:15:58.639 Oh happy Thanksgiving? What you're doing? And then she sent 313 00:15:58.720 --> 00:15:59.600 me this video. 314 00:16:01.559 --> 00:16:05.960 Of her step mom. It started in the garage, ended up. 315 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:09.559 I mean she it was I've never seen this ship 316 00:16:09.639 --> 00:16:11.720 like that, especially on a holiday. 317 00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:14.759 Well it was not only was it Thanksgiving, it was 318 00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:17.960 also my grandmother's funeral, which was on the one year 319 00:16:18.039 --> 00:16:19.759 anniversary of my mom's funeral. 320 00:16:20.919 --> 00:16:23.399 So she really lit it the fuck up for us. 321 00:16:23.559 --> 00:16:25.279 She's like, oh, you guys want to mourn? 322 00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:27.759 Uh uh. 323 00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:33.600 Not in this house. Not in this house. Does your 324 00:16:33.639 --> 00:16:35.639 guy still communicay with her at all? I think she 325 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:38.240 takes him pretty frequently still, because she's like, you know, 326 00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:40.440 that's obviously the best she's never gonna have. Yeah. I 327 00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:43.600 was gonna say, like, yeah, no she I She. 328 00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:47.360 Started dating a guy that was like a very similar 329 00:16:47.559 --> 00:16:50.519 prototype of my dad after they broke out, an electrician 330 00:16:50.600 --> 00:16:56.279 with two daughters. And the electrician this guy had a stroke. 331 00:16:57.639 --> 00:17:01.960 And this is actual story, but like I just want 332 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.160 to I want to get around to how manipulative she 333 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:07.759 is and how horrible she is. This guy had a stroke. 334 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:11.039 He's an electrician, right, has a stroke. He can't return 335 00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:17.960 to work because he never regains function. And I think, 336 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:20.160 you know, when you're like, oh, is this what the 337 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:23.799 rest of my life is gonna be like? And you 338 00:17:23.880 --> 00:17:24.680 can't do anything. 339 00:17:25.680 --> 00:17:29.599 He went in the woods. He showed himself and that's 340 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:34.079 very sad. But what old girl used it as was 341 00:17:34.559 --> 00:17:36.559 a way to get back in with my dad and 342 00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:40.319 be like, look, we both have aces to kill themselves. 343 00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:43.759 I think this is God saying we should get that together. 344 00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:52.440 My dad said no, no, literally, the body was not 345 00:17:52.599 --> 00:17:55.279 even cold before, you know. And she here's the thing. 346 00:17:55.400 --> 00:18:00.799 She's like this awful generation of like what are they 347 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:05.200 gan alpha? What is that gen? She's passed the baby 348 00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:07.119 boomer but like whatever that one is. 349 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.599 She's like thattween that's like on Facebook, Yeah, and like 350 00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:13.039 she like made her you know, if she made her 351 00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:17.880 Facebook banner like this man floating to heaven like literally 352 00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:20.160 it's like him, but it's like AI and there's like 353 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:22.599 angel dusts and stars around him. 354 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.759 And as she's making that her thing, she's calling her 355 00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:26.720 excessive being like. 356 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:32.960 She's somebody who's like here she said, hey, I'm pretty 357 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:36.160 sure this seems worse said together, and. 358 00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:41.839 I'm just like well known, hm hmm. There's only two 359 00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:46.640 ways out with her. I mean that is similar your 360 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:50.119 dad like an electrician with two kids? Yeah crazy, yeah, 361 00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:51.079 two daughters. 362 00:18:51.400 --> 00:18:51.599 Yeah. 363 00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:56.000 Anyway, I'm doing a new segment and I need to 364 00:18:56.039 --> 00:18:59.119 do it with you. Why and something's wrong with you? 365 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:02.039 Which I don't know. What do you think it's wrong? 366 00:19:04.119 --> 00:19:05.559 I want to know what's wrong with What do you 367 00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:07.240 think is wrong with you? What would your friends say 368 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:09.559 is wrong with you? And what would your therapist say? 369 00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:11.759 You don't have a therapist. You're like a Crystal deeler. 370 00:19:11.880 --> 00:19:18.799 I have a therapist. She's a therapist and a Crystal 371 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:30.400 Hailor thing. Get it right? That is life? What you're 372 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.960 a bitch? Anyway, that wasn't even that funan I shouldn't 373 00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:39.160 have laughed the estion at all. This week's episode is 374 00:19:39.240 --> 00:19:43.079 brought to you by Berber Hair Oil. You, guys, Berber 375 00:19:43.240 --> 00:19:44.000 is my bitch lover. 376 00:19:44.119 --> 00:19:46.160 If you guys aren't using Berber hair oil for your 377 00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:47.480 hair growth journey, I don't. 378 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:48.559 Know what you're doing with your lives. 379 00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:52.400 Berber is burdock oil that you use a derma roller 380 00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:56.160 to dermo roll your hair first. 381 00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:56.960 And then you apply the oil. 382 00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:59.000 You leave it in overnight and it makes your hair 383 00:19:59.119 --> 00:20:04.519 healthy and and the regrowth is unbelievable. Listen, when I 384 00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:06.720 lost my hair, it took me like a year and 385 00:20:06.759 --> 00:20:09.079 a half to get it back, and we're almost there. 386 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:11.960 We're almost there. I was looking at old pictures of me, like, 387 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:14.480 don't ever let someone tell you you don't have enough hair. 388 00:20:14.599 --> 00:20:17.200 Also, I think the body dysmorphia I had of thinking 389 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:19.319 I needed more hair or thinking I needed my hair 390 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:21.440 down to my ass. My hair was literally almost down 391 00:20:21.480 --> 00:20:23.759 to my ass and it was so full. And then 392 00:20:23.799 --> 00:20:27.039 I got those super fucking extensions and my hair will 393 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:29.720 never be the same again. It's going to be stronger 394 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:32.160 because a burber. You guys, use my code Britt bri 395 00:20:32.319 --> 00:20:33.440 t T for fifteen. 396 00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:36.680 Percent off your order Berber dot com. Br br dot 397 00:20:36.759 --> 00:20:38.599 com used to go to Britt for fifteen percent off 398 00:20:38.680 --> 00:20:42.319 your first order. Think the mader Bestius. What do I 399 00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:43.279 think is wrong with me? 400 00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:47.559 I think part of my problem is that I don't 401 00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:49.599