Speaker 1: Hey, guys, So as Mercury Retrograde would have it, I
Speaker 1: tried to record this podcast twice and the audio didn't
Speaker 1: work either time, So the audio is screwed up on
Speaker 1: this episode. I'm so sorry. It'll be back to normal
Speaker 1: next week. But the good news is the Patreon is
Speaker 1: extra long this week. It's basically like a whole second episode.
Speaker 1: So if you're not subscribed to the Patreon run over there,
Speaker 1: go subscribe. We have an extra long one this week.
Speaker 1: The audio is screwed up on both of them, but
Speaker 1: the content is just as good as always. So I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry, besties. I hope you enjoy I love you lots,
Speaker 1: and everything will be back to normal next week, I promise.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: Well, well, welcome back, besties, Welcome to your Monday.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy we made it through another weekend.
Speaker 4: If you were with me and Phoenix this weekend, I
Speaker 4: love you so much. We have the best time. I
Speaker 4: and you guys have created a bit.
Speaker 2: Of an issue with this bird feeder. The pigeons.
Speaker 3: The pigeons, I've started knocking on my window when they're
Speaker 3: out of food with their little beaks.
Speaker 2: They look think, think, and then you look at me
Speaker 2: with their orange eyes, and they're like leeries our food.
Speaker 2: So we're.
Speaker 4: This is why we can't have nice things, you know,
Speaker 4: This is why we can't have nice things because of
Speaker 4: fucking pigeons.
Speaker 2: Because you give an engine, they take a mile. You
Speaker 2: give an inchine, they take your sleep from you. I'm
Speaker 2: also up worn with these flies in my apartment and
Speaker 2: just the general adversity of living in New York City
Speaker 2: has been wearing me down. But you guys, I brought
Speaker 2: a guest back that you guys loved a lot.
Speaker 3: The first time we had around, and I hope you
Speaker 3: guys loved this episode just as much as the first.
Speaker 2: Please enjoy my episode with Dicey back by popular demand. Visit.
Speaker 3: Oh hey everybody, Oh she's bad. She walked into me
Speaker 3: having a complete.
Speaker 5: White girl milk over a marble ass table downstairs.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, to be fair, first of all, this Mercury
Speaker 3: retrograde is not normal.
Speaker 2: It's not it's not normal.
Speaker 3: It has a gun, bitch, and it's fucking binge like
Speaker 3: it's coming for us, this retrograde. The block is hotpage block,
Speaker 3: the block is like it's hot on this mercury retrograde.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, So I hired this guy especially come in.
Speaker 2: I hired this guy. I am working with it. Okay,
Speaker 2: I don't even want.
Speaker 3: To say the company because I don't want to like
Speaker 3: dog them out like this. But I hired this guy
Speaker 3: to move this table from Brooklyn to here.
Speaker 2: It's a little.
Speaker 3: Marble coffee table. It's fucking heavy. It's like three hundred pounds.
Speaker 3: I live in a walk up. He got here with
Speaker 3: his buddy. They rolled the table in. The table has
Speaker 3: wheels on the bottom, so they rolled it in and
Speaker 3: they got to the stairs. They looked at the stairs
Speaker 3: and they were like, I don't think so, And I
Speaker 3: was like, what do you mean you don't think so?
Speaker 3: They didn't even try to lift it. They didn't even attempt.
Speaker 3: It's a table. Look at this big hivy.
Speaker 5: Y's big, like all the stuff that have come up
Speaker 5: those little stairs, right, you know, not just this, not
Speaker 5: just you.
Speaker 2: It is a coffee table.
Speaker 3: It's a coffee and they understand that that it's made
Speaker 3: of marble, and I know it's heavy, but these guys
Speaker 3: just looked at it, looked at me, looked at it,
Speaker 3: and then they looked at me and they said, do
Speaker 3: you have any ideas?
Speaker 2: They asked like you worked there like you work here.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is not my task. This is
Speaker 2: your task that you accepted. So you got to pay
Speaker 2: them and come.
Speaker 5: Up with the right ideas on how they like sh
Speaker 5: up the stairs, crazy insanity.
Speaker 3: I was like, I thought it was simple, and then
Speaker 3: I even offered to help. I was like, how about this,
Speaker 3: you guys, Let's put it on this moving pad. You
Speaker 3: guys push from the bottom, two grown men push from
Speaker 3: the bottom. I'll guide it and I'll pull from the top.
Speaker 3: They didn't even want to try.
Speaker 2: They're like, we're gonna leave. What will come back tomorrow?
Speaker 2: Is what they told me.
Speaker 3: They said, we'll come back tomorrow. And it's like, okay, great.
Speaker 3: They said, we think it's gonna take four guys for
Speaker 3: three hundred pounds, right. I was like, are y'all okay? No,
Speaker 3: aren't y'all good? So they say it's gonna take four guys.
Speaker 2: They'll come back tomorrow, which is today.
Speaker 3: So I text them, I'm like, hey, when are you
Speaker 3: guys coming back? Because my building just let me know
Speaker 3: that if this table stays down there another night, I
Speaker 3: incur a five hundred dollars fee. I don't have a
Speaker 3: loose five hundred dollars. I've never had a loose five
Speaker 3: hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: And this is the part where I walked in and
Speaker 2: then dicey well, I said, smoke's blowing.
Speaker 3: Out of my fucking ears and I'm like, oh, it's
Speaker 3: cute here, and you're just looking at me.
Speaker 5: Look, and I don't know you pretty well, I don't
Speaker 5: know when it just okay, let me just retreat. You
Speaker 5: just made a coffee, you sat down, and then I.
Speaker 2: Think you screamed the tell your pillows.
Speaker 3: Well, no, that was when I couldn't find the extension
Speaker 3: court to sell the podcast.
Speaker 2: Then we really fell apart.
Speaker 3: Was an extraordinary, extraordinary way. I was like, hang on,
Speaker 3: let me just scream it to my pillows real quick,
Speaker 3: and said, well, worst things have happened, you know, well
Speaker 3: they have and they have the worst things will continue
Speaker 3: to happen. But the thing that bugged me the most
Speaker 3: is the guy's like, I'm gonna cancel the task, but pay.
Speaker 2: Me for half because I got it from Brooklyn to
Speaker 2: hear and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, you know, I want to, but can you go
Speaker 3: finish the task and I'll just pay you for the
Speaker 3: whole task And he's like, no, just pay me for
Speaker 3: the work that's already done. And I just was like,
Speaker 3: first of all, I'm doing a promo with the company
Speaker 3: that he was, and so they.
Speaker 2: Gave me a voucher.
Speaker 3: So the money I was using was like free money,
Speaker 3: like fun want you get what you pay for it?
Speaker 2: Well no, no no no no no, because like it's
Speaker 2: real money to him, but it's like fun Bucks and
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 3: But now he's asking me for my real money for
Speaker 3: a job he didn't finish. And I just was like,
Speaker 3: can you just please come finish it? And he's like, no,
Speaker 3: I spent this much on gas, I spent this much
Speaker 3: much on tolls. And you know, he's like, I'll just
Speaker 3: explain to my partner the character of the people in
Speaker 3: this world, the character. Yeah, because I wouldn't pay him
Speaker 3: for a task he didn't complete.
Speaker 5: Oh he has sexual character. He attacked my character. I
Speaker 5: will lever review if you're not going to blast them here,
Speaker 5: but at.
Speaker 3: Least I think I'm just going to talk to the
Speaker 3: company because I'm working with them and I just want
Speaker 3: to be like, this guy did this.
Speaker 2: He put me in a horrible position, and then he
Speaker 2: attacked my character.
Speaker 3: And then I had to screen my scrumped because really,
Speaker 3: if he moved it from Brooklyn, then they already knew how.
Speaker 2: Heavy it was. They were right, you know, it's kind
Speaker 2: of like finish the job.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think they saw the stairs and they're like, no,
Speaker 3: I mean they are some narrow stairs.
Speaker 2: You have to be pretty fatigue good thing alpatite. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know they are. They are any tuline stairs.
Speaker 3: But I will say I had the Russian men that
Speaker 3: moved all this furniture into this place. I mean they
Speaker 3: dogged heavier ship up those stairs. They were Russian, there
Speaker 3: were something. They were Eastern European of some sort. Brittany
Speaker 3: doesn't believe I speak Russian. Tast does not do speak.
Speaker 2: It was my minor in college. Literally, so what I
Speaker 2: took seven years of German. That doesn't mean I speak German.
Speaker 2: I speak Russian. And I was speaking.
Speaker 5: Speaking, I was speaking yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: I speak that ship. Yeah. It's like the weirdest lie.
Speaker 2: But it's not. It's not the weirdest lie. If you
Speaker 2: heard of all, nobody wants to speak Russian. It's the
Speaker 2: ugliest language.
Speaker 5: Well they're gonna, I believe, first of all, do you
Speaker 5: these Russian but just have their.
Speaker 2: Own babies on YouTube. Okay, have you seen this or
Speaker 2: what do you mean? Their own babies? They deliver their
Speaker 2: own babies.
Speaker 5: Like and that inspired, you know, but that that didn't
Speaker 5: let me back. What inspired me was that I'm scared
Speaker 5: of them and that they're going to they're gonna be
Speaker 5: the downfall of America and I'm gonna be here.
Speaker 2: You're gonna start learning Nanda. Yeah, I'm not scared enough. Chinese,
Speaker 2: you Russian? That's crazy.
Speaker 5: One day, one day, I'm gonna one day it's gonna
Speaker 5: be some Russians around us, and you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Right now and say what see, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2: That's true. This is this is the true statement. If
Speaker 2: that sounds better than English, I don't.
Speaker 7: Even know you don't.
Speaker 2: Don't say I don't know pussy and Russia, anything in Russia.
Speaker 5: Any of you are Russian out there, Please get in
Speaker 5: touch and we're gonna have a whole conversation on the
Speaker 5: next the next time I'm here.
Speaker 2: Girl, Just the weird lie that you really I promise
Speaker 2: you do not speak Russian.
Speaker 3: I can say, I can say, yeah, can say.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean I can say I don't even need
Speaker 2: in Russian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, needs no, that is that's
Speaker 2: that's I don't. That is watch some of you.
Speaker 5: You have some Russian people that follow you, and they're
Speaker 5: going to tell you that that means they are watched.
Speaker 2: They're gonna stay in the comments. She speaks and did
Speaker 2: I spa to you? That's hello saying yeah, look that's apple.
Speaker 2: You do not speak Russian. That's you don't.
Speaker 3: I just because you do dual lingo and you remember
Speaker 3: three words, does that you speak Russian?
Speaker 2: This is like, this is such a weird lie that
Speaker 2: you like, way over a year and a half ago
Speaker 2: when I told you you don't speak phone Russian.
Speaker 3: M h.
Speaker 2: God, that's weird, such a weird lie.
Speaker 3: Okay, anyway, more back to this mercury retrograde. I want
Speaker 3: to tell you about my day yesterday. Okay, you ready, sure?
Speaker 2: So I don't have a phone case on. That's the
Speaker 2: way I live.
Speaker 3: I rod on the darkness and I rode on the
Speaker 3: world with my phone, and I was walking deep uneven sidewalks.
Speaker 2: Got to get used to those.
Speaker 3: They're all over in New York City. Trip that phone
Speaker 3: you feel well, I didn't fall, but I did a
Speaker 3: body jolt and then the screen on my phone cracked,
Speaker 3: So I took it to the Apple store yesterday, right
Speaker 3: to the Apple store, a little appointment. I didn't know
Speaker 3: it was supposed to rain yesterday. I don't think anyone knew. No, definitely,
Speaker 3: just all of a sudden. This New York will test
Speaker 3: you in the strangest ways. So it's an hour and
Speaker 3: a half where you get your phone back, and it's dumb.
Speaker 2: Thing working out. So I walk home in the rain
Speaker 2: completely so I.
Speaker 3: Had my Apple down for dinner already, had to change whatever.
Speaker 3: I go back to the Apple store after I tanged
Speaker 3: into a dry outfit. It stopped here and you get
Speaker 3: my phone walking to dinner, you drop anything, bitch.
Speaker 2: Four cracks in that phone?
Speaker 7: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2: What do you think that means?
Speaker 5: I think that means you're not as sleek as you
Speaker 5: think you are, Like, you know what I mean. That's
Speaker 5: what that means, You're not You are not that far
Speaker 5: removed from cracking your phone.
Speaker 2: Right, And I think we made the case. No, you're
Speaker 2: still not gonna get a case. No, I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: get a case. I don't like that case, like it
Speaker 2: makes it so much.
Speaker 3: Bigger and chunkier. I feel like this, Why don't you
Speaker 3: at least get the screen protector. Well, I have the
Speaker 3: screen protector and I meant to put one on and
Speaker 3: then I cracked it. And then I was like after
Speaker 3: I after I got it fixed, I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna put my last.
Speaker 2: One on, and then I went to dinner and then
Speaker 2: I cracked it before.
Speaker 5: I even get my last screen. You know what, Well,
Speaker 5: this is just what I do, because I know myself.
Speaker 5: Before I even take my new phone.
Speaker 2: Out of the box, I have a kick. I have
Speaker 2: a spring protector on it.
Speaker 5: And T Mobile has ay they have the screen protectors
Speaker 5: you can buy and you can go get them replaced
Speaker 5: every day if you want to.
Speaker 2: It's sixty dollars and you can crack the screen as
Speaker 2: much as possible. Oh what do you have?
Speaker 3: But what what do you want to get? Mint next
Speaker 3: midwires speak your Russia midwater less, I get yourself?
Speaker 2: What is wrong with T Mobile? They are so reliable.
Speaker 7: They have every.
Speaker 5: Tuesday they have these great deal you get free ice, coffee,
Speaker 5: all kind of shit there you go with. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: go get I use the parts that come up on
Speaker 5: the app. Anyway, what I'm saying is my phone is fine.
Speaker 2: That's the moral less story. That Russian. Yeah, I really
Speaker 2: rely on that coffee to keet you on this Russian.
Speaker 2: You don't speak the Pentagon won't appreciate me telling you
Speaker 2: that I speak Russian. The Pentagon would like, did I
Speaker 2: tell you that? When my mom was in her.
Speaker 3: Her like psychosis, she would always say, I'm calling the
Speaker 3: Pentagon on you. Really, you can call the Pentagon. Also,
Speaker 3: she was sucking a guy from the Pentagon. So when
Speaker 3: her and my dad broke up, she was hooking up
Speaker 3: with this guy at the Pentagon, which I think we
Speaker 3: really overlooked what an international home my mom was because
Speaker 3: from big then Wistoons into.
Speaker 2: The Pentagon is a pretty good reach for that pulsing.
Speaker 2: I didn't know this was a room. Yeah, So anyway,
Speaker 2: she hung on to that for a long time. His
Speaker 2: name was pitched. His name was Pitchford. I met him.
Speaker 2: I remember I met him and he got me a
Speaker 2: Bonnie Balloon and I was like eleven. I was like,
Speaker 2: fucking good because you already had to period. But I know, right, well,
Speaker 2: not not me.
Speaker 3: I don't do anything my careiod until I was I
Speaker 3: got my period after I started before, right Yeah, but no,
Speaker 3: So anyway, she was looking up with this guy from
Speaker 3: the Pentagon.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you guys, really think about that, because
Speaker 2: that's like the dawn of email.
Speaker 3: There's no there's barely cell phones, there's no texting, there's
Speaker 3: not instant messaging.
Speaker 2: She's snail mail having an affair with the guy from
Speaker 2: the Pentagon. That's pretty good on your cute dad, on
Speaker 2: my cute dad. I know, my poor dad, my poor dad.
Speaker 2: He found it.
Speaker 5: Oh he intercepted one of the letters and it was
Speaker 5: like a smart letter from the dude.
Speaker 2: And then there was a common minute and I was like,
Speaker 2: you're just really disappointed that using protection. This is a
Speaker 2: conversation you have with your dad. That's crazy. My dad
Speaker 2: and I have I mean whatever, It's not like I
Speaker 2: had a yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I have thing. Yeah wow.
Speaker 2: And I forgot he was married. It who the other
Speaker 2: woman he was married?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That was your favorite. She was my favorite. When you
Speaker 2: used to send me videos of her, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: and you, Brittany, you go go to hell.
Speaker 3: She my ext mom was a raging drunk still is
Speaker 3: and she would get drunk and pop the fuck off
Speaker 3: at us. And she had one who blare melt down, which.
Speaker 2: Was Thanksgiving and I had I had called takes the Britney,
Speaker 2: Oh happy Thanksgiving? What you're doing? And then she sent
Speaker 2: me this video.
Speaker 5: Of her step mom. It started in the garage, ended up.
Speaker 5: I mean she it was I've never seen this ship
Speaker 5: like that, especially on a holiday.
Speaker 3: Well it was not only was it Thanksgiving, it was
Speaker 3: also my grandmother's funeral, which was on the one year
Speaker 3: anniversary of my mom's funeral.
Speaker 2: So she really lit it the fuck up for us.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, you guys want to mourn?
Speaker 3: Uh uh.
Speaker 2: Not in this house. Not in this house. Does your
Speaker 2: guy still communicay with her at all? I think she
Speaker 2: takes him pretty frequently still, because she's like, you know,
Speaker 2: that's obviously the best she's never gonna have. Yeah. I
Speaker 2: was gonna say, like, yeah, no she I She.
Speaker 3: Started dating a guy that was like a very similar
Speaker 3: prototype of my dad after they broke out, an electrician
Speaker 3: with two daughters. And the electrician this guy had a stroke.
Speaker 3: And this is actual story, but like I just want
Speaker 3: to I want to get around to how manipulative she
Speaker 3: is and how horrible she is. This guy had a stroke.
Speaker 3: He's an electrician, right, has a stroke. He can't return
Speaker 3: to work because he never regains function. And I think,
Speaker 3: you know, when you're like, oh, is this what the
Speaker 3: rest of my life is gonna be like? And you
Speaker 3: can't do anything.
Speaker 2: He went in the woods. He showed himself and that's
Speaker 2: very sad. But what old girl used it as was
Speaker 2: a way to get back in with my dad and
Speaker 2: be like, look, we both have aces to kill themselves.
Speaker 2: I think this is God saying we should get that together.
Speaker 2: My dad said no, no, literally, the body was not
Speaker 2: even cold before, you know. And she here's the thing.
Speaker 2: She's like this awful generation of like what are they
Speaker 2: gan alpha? What is that gen? She's passed the baby
Speaker 2: boomer but like whatever that one is.
Speaker 3: She's like thattween that's like on Facebook, Yeah, and like
Speaker 3: she like made her you know, if she made her
Speaker 3: Facebook banner like this man floating to heaven like literally
Speaker 3: it's like him, but it's like AI and there's like
Speaker 3: angel dusts and stars around him.
Speaker 2: And as she's making that her thing, she's calling her
Speaker 2: excessive being like.
Speaker 3: She's somebody who's like here she said, hey, I'm pretty
Speaker 3: sure this seems worse said together, and.
Speaker 5: I'm just like well known, hm hmm. There's only two
Speaker 5: ways out with her. I mean that is similar your
Speaker 5: dad like an electrician with two kids? Yeah crazy, yeah,
Speaker 5: two daughters.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm doing a new segment and I need to
Speaker 2: do it with you. Why and something's wrong with you?
Speaker 2: Which I don't know. What do you think it's wrong?
Speaker 2: I want to know what's wrong with What do you
Speaker 2: think is wrong with you? What would your friends say
Speaker 2: is wrong with you? And what would your therapist say?
Speaker 2: You don't have a therapist. You're like a Crystal deeler.
Speaker 2: I have a therapist. She's a therapist and a Crystal
Speaker 2: Hailor thing. Get it right? That is life? What you're
Speaker 2: a bitch? Anyway, that wasn't even that funan I shouldn't
Speaker 2: have laughed the estion at all. This week's episode is
Speaker 2: brought to you by Berber Hair Oil. You, guys, Berber
Speaker 2: is my bitch lover.
Speaker 3: If you guys aren't using Berber hair oil for your
Speaker 3: hair growth journey, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know what you're doing with your lives.
Speaker 8: Berber is burdock oil that you use a derma roller
Speaker 8: to dermo roll your hair first.
Speaker 2: And then you apply the oil.
Speaker 3: You leave it in overnight and it makes your hair
Speaker 3: healthy and and the regrowth is unbelievable. Listen, when I
Speaker 3: lost my hair, it took me like a year and
Speaker 3: a half to get it back, and we're almost there.
Speaker 2: We're almost there. I was looking at old pictures of me, like,
Speaker 2: don't ever let someone tell you you don't have enough hair.
Speaker 3: Also, I think the body dysmorphia I had of thinking
Speaker 3: I needed more hair or thinking I needed my hair
Speaker 3: down to my ass. My hair was literally almost down
Speaker 3: to my ass and it was so full. And then
Speaker 3: I got those super fucking extensions and my hair will
Speaker 3: never be the same again. It's going to be stronger
Speaker 3: because a burber. You guys, use my code Britt bri
Speaker 3: t T for fifteen.
Speaker 2: Percent off your order Berber dot com. Br br dot
Speaker 2: com used to go to Britt for fifteen percent off
Speaker 2: your first order. Think the mader Bestius. What do I
Speaker 2: think is wrong with me?
Speaker 5: I think part of my problem is that I don't
Speaker 5: give one hundred percent, so a lot of things I'm
Speaker 5: really good at, and it gets in my way a
Speaker 5: little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that if I did just like hone
Speaker 2: in stand up is probably the nearest thing that I've
Speaker 2: given a lot too. But yeah.
Speaker 3: Maybe have you ever thought of taking a year off
Speaker 3: like partying and just doing sanda, you know, a party
Speaker 3: but like drinking and smoking, just doing Sanda.
Speaker 2: No, I never thought about not smoking. But I haven't
Speaker 2: been drinking a lot. I haven't. I probably haven't had
Speaker 2: a drinking like since I went out with the dude
Speaker 2: on the fourth of July. Ohnt know, that's the last
Speaker 2: time I.
Speaker 5: Really drink. But I don't know that that's the problem.
Speaker 5: When you think that's my problem, do you think weed.
Speaker 2: Is my problem? I think, well, I think here's the thing.
Speaker 3: And I'm coming from experience as somebody who smokes and
Speaker 3: it slows me down. When I'm like clear, I get
Speaker 3: a lot more done. And I just think you were
Speaker 3: such an unfuck withable force and stand up that if
Speaker 3: you stopped with the distractions, you could like really step
Speaker 3: into who you're supposed to be.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 3: What would what would your therapist in Crystal here say
Speaker 3: is wrong with you? She would probably say I give
Speaker 3: people too many chances.
Speaker 2: I'm too nice. She always tells me that. I'm yeah,
Speaker 2: she has the requient. I know, right, I'm just not
Speaker 2: nice to you. That's just the nature of our friendship now.
Speaker 2: We're a really nice we really are in you know,
Speaker 2: behind closed doors.
Speaker 5: M But yeah, I don't know what she would She
Speaker 5: probably would say that I just give people too many chances,
Speaker 5: and I think about other people too.
Speaker 2: Much before I think about myself. Yeah, I know, that's
Speaker 2: that's definitely a thing. Yeah, you'll like pour yourself one
Speaker 2: hundred percent into someone else. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, what
Speaker 2: about you? Well, I can't do this. I can't do
Speaker 2: this every podcast. We all know what's wrong with Yeah,
Speaker 2: we all know. I was just screaming with them everything, right,
Speaker 2: I was just screaming in a pillow.
Speaker 3: Although I will say I tight trained down on my
Speaker 3: lexiprob back down to five milligrams, and I'm feeling so
Speaker 3: much better. I had a horrible I know you've never
Speaker 3: done any anti depressants or SSRIs, but I had a
Speaker 3: horrible titration experience. My anxiety was so high and my
Speaker 3: insalomnia was horrible. And I think when you don't sleep,
Speaker 3: you become just a fucking monster. This is something that
Speaker 3: I was talking to about on the other podcast.
Speaker 2: Remember then we lost our train of thought. Oh and
Speaker 2: we never found it again.
Speaker 3: Right, This is like the difference of who I am
Speaker 3: when I sleep and I don't, it's crazy Like when
Speaker 3: I get a good night's sleep I wake up, you know,
Speaker 3: like the thoughts you have before you open your eyes.
Speaker 3: The thoughts I have before I open my eyes when
Speaker 3: I get a good night's sleep is like, I'm blessed,
Speaker 3: God is good. Life was wonderful, something amazing, It's gonna happen.
Speaker 3: Those are the thoughts I legitimately have if I don't
Speaker 3: get a good night's sleep.
Speaker 2: I those thoughts are.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm gonna fucking get up, fucking little holes, little
Speaker 3: teddy holes.
Speaker 2: And all the shirts of the throws rolexes.
Speaker 7: Into the bay.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get up. Or I just have the most
Speaker 3: demon thoughts. I'm like, why does my brain work like that?
Speaker 3: But it's really the difference between sleeper no sleep. So
Speaker 3: I titrated down off lexapro and I had a really rough,
Speaker 3: like two weeks.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the titration.
Speaker 3: Down off the Lexico, the Mercury retrograde, the move to
Speaker 3: New York that, I mean, just like the million different things.
Speaker 3: But my god, it's been like that some of the
Speaker 3: hardest weeks of my adult life. You've been through a
Speaker 3: whole lot. These last like just three months specifically. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, but I'm getting to the other side
Speaker 3: and I'm starting to feel like that bit out.
Speaker 2: A scared. All right, let's let's pull some cards. You
Speaker 2: picked some cards for us, Okay, m m hm m mmm.
Speaker 2: Oh we got a level one, level one? Whatever. What
Speaker 2: about my style is undeniably me? I'm deniably you. It's
Speaker 2: just like being a bitch. Yeah, being a bitch for sure,
Speaker 2: care free, like coming off as that, but but it's
Speaker 2: deeply not at all.
Speaker 3: But you look like like I don't don't care free.
Speaker 3: I look like I don't give a fuck. Yeah, And
Speaker 3: if anyone looks like they don't give a fuck, just
Speaker 3: know that they give the most amount of bucks. They
Speaker 3: truly give so many fucks.
Speaker 2: I had to develop that I don't give a fuck
Speaker 2: attitude because I gave so many bucks, and that just
Speaker 2: really didn't work for me.
Speaker 3: You ever were like, oh, she cares a lot of
Speaker 3: that's gross, but I don't care dead behind, then what
Speaker 3: about my style is unima for you? That's the exactly
Speaker 3: what you're wearing right now at off the shoulder sweatshirt.
Speaker 2: I hate mix on the step. That's why all my shirts.
Speaker 2: Never you'll never really see me in a turtle neck.
Speaker 2: Who do you see at the time? I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't know, there's not me, not me.
Speaker 3: I think that is that autism or is that just preference?
Speaker 3: It's you know Steve Jobs just to wear the same
Speaker 3: thing over and over and over. Well, yeah, that's autism.
Speaker 2: Maybe he just didn't he would have this.
Speaker 3: Maybe he just take it a fun But but I'm
Speaker 3: saying auto see people sometimes one of the things that
Speaker 3: they don't like certain textures and their skins, or like
Speaker 3: they don't like certain.
Speaker 2: Maybe I probably am on the spectrum. I mean, aren't
Speaker 2: we all, Yeah, we're all a little Are you a
Speaker 2: little gay? I don't think so. I've been exploring that again.
Speaker 2: There's this girl I have a crush on. Really, I
Speaker 2: have a girl crush. And it's not it's never gonna
Speaker 2: go anywhere.
Speaker 3: She wann't what my girl, big titties, beautiful, like she's
Speaker 3: like I met her actually when I was in my
Speaker 3: last relationship.
Speaker 2: And I've ever been nervous around the girl before, but
Speaker 2: I was nervous around her. I was like stuttering. I
Speaker 2: was like trying, yes, yes, I was trying, Yes, I
Speaker 2: was trying to get words out. It was like book, book, book, Like,
Speaker 2: what girl? Is she a little good? She's yeah? Oh
Speaker 2: is she real gay? She's not real gay. She's gay enough.
Speaker 2: And she went into you. No she isn't me. I
Speaker 2: just don't. Y'all have already talked about this. No, I
Speaker 2: just know because we like flirt with each other, and
Speaker 2: because you're such a whore, you just know when people
Speaker 2: just want to fuck you hunt and you were me,
Speaker 2: you can go to heat. I'm just so shocked right now.
Speaker 3: I need to see this bitch off camera. She's gorgeous, blonde, blonde,
Speaker 3: so that's the type.
Speaker 2: Of bit she is just what I wish I looked like.
Speaker 3: She's got like a big app some big titties and
Speaker 3: no waist and a beautiful face and long blonde hair.
Speaker 2: Like she's just like she's whatever everyone wants. Hm hmm.
Speaker 3: But I don't think I can. I don't think you
Speaker 3: wouldn't make your move now she lives in l A
Speaker 3: second of all, what if we like she's also kind
Speaker 3: of down.
Speaker 2: I'm like.
Speaker 3: The word, I'm like, oh no, there's literally pebbles be
Speaker 3: blown around by like a bucket.
Speaker 2: So you're a fun boy, I'm a boy. I'm a
Speaker 2: fuck boy. It's just like rocks.
Speaker 3: Inside of her head, you know, if you put like
Speaker 3: pebbles in a can and shook it, Like that's what's
Speaker 3: going on in her head.
Speaker 2: She is.
Speaker 3: But I just have such a crush and I'm just
Speaker 3: in like men right now, give me such they like,
Speaker 3: I'm a repulseman. And I've seen some of the most
Speaker 3: objectively gorgeous people things like that into New York City
Speaker 3: and I'm like, they're all, well, a lot of them are.
Speaker 3: I mean they are to put women here, holy how,
Speaker 3: but there are also really gorgeous men here. There's just
Speaker 3: so many people you really have to sit through, you know,
Speaker 3: it's like sifting for gold.
Speaker 2: But I'm just so uninterested.
Speaker 3: Like I've seen really attractive, objectively attractive men, and like oh, and.
Speaker 2: Then like when I see this girl, I'm like, I
Speaker 2: don't Maybe they have to I don't know where I'm at.
Speaker 2: Are they hurt? Are the no? No? Does she have
Speaker 2: a lot of work done?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I like to think that I'm into natural women, but
Speaker 2: like this, it's not even her work. So now you're
Speaker 2: in women, and.
Speaker 5: Do you hear this is.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like this is so cliche.
Speaker 3: Every time girls goes through like a bad breakup, she's like,
Speaker 3: now I'm dating girls because like that's just like the
Speaker 3: level of trauma is calculated by whether or not she
Speaker 3: turns by afterwards.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like, how bad was it?
Speaker 3: Is?
Speaker 2: She eating pus over it? But you said, you you
Speaker 2: you noticed this attraction to her before, right, So that's okay?
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 6: I have like a like a little and smiling talking
Speaker 6: about it, a fucking girl crush, Like I couldn't even
Speaker 6: be in the same room with her, and what I'm saying,
Speaker 6: but what have done?
Speaker 2: Bit? I know, but she just was so like mesmerizingly hot.
Speaker 2: So how do you know she's a little gay? Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you. Okay, I can't tell.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell what you are in completely insane? Yeah insane? Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: I'll there something else about you today that I didn't
Speaker 2: know for the cards. Time to move on to the
Speaker 2: next card.
Speaker 5: No, I don't know. I don't know if I'm offended
Speaker 5: because you're such into black men, but your first crush
Speaker 5: on it wasn't a black woman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've only ever had in my life too, like
Speaker 3: whoa girl crushes? And one one when I was like eighteen,
Speaker 3: I was going to ASU and I met this girl
Speaker 3: and she was maybe kind of panic or so it
Speaker 3: was a little something.
Speaker 2: But it's not usually about the physicality. I become like.
Speaker 3: Overcome by their presence, Like it almost has nothing to
Speaker 3: do with what they look like. What they look like helps,
Speaker 3: but like there's something that's like I become so attracted
Speaker 3: to their aura and their vibe. That other girl, I
Speaker 3: became like obsessed with the way I love her. And
Speaker 3: I get to ask you were best friend and then
Speaker 3: my mom still like college time, and I can try
Speaker 3: to ask you, what's something I could do for hours
Speaker 3: on end without getting bored?
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, maybe like shocked for the right that.
Speaker 5: You can read for hours on that getting board, Yes
Speaker 5: that's your thing, Like you could you always have a
Speaker 5: book with you somewhere on the beach, or like if
Speaker 5: we're read the pool, I know not to try to
Speaker 5: talk to you because.
Speaker 2: You're reading your somebody's That's what you could do for hours.
Speaker 2: I couldn't it last time? Right?
Speaker 7: Like ship.
Speaker 2: You could guarden, I could guarden for hours and hours
Speaker 2: and hours. Yeah, I'm sadged to bring me any produces time.
Speaker 2: I know, I'll bring some. I'm gonna go. I gotta
Speaker 2: run back home.
Speaker 9: Why just for like a week, just to Yeah, okay,
Speaker 9: next question, Next we need I need to shuffles level three.
Speaker 2: Imagine I just woke up from a crazy night out.
Speaker 2: Where did I end up? What do I regret? Well,
Speaker 2: you were great, fucking everybody in the room. I'm just
Speaker 2: playing sex might not even be involved. I don't you
Speaker 2: know what I never had. I didn't get to know
Speaker 2: you was drunk. I know, such a shame. But that's
Speaker 2: like I still can have a crazy night. I don't
Speaker 2: know that I'm sober.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well I don't usually regret things because I am sober. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so that's because that's kind of like the what do
Speaker 5: I regret? The flies after and it they come with batteries?
Speaker 2: Flies? New York's trying to break me. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: The flies and the mosquitoes have The mosquitos. I can't
Speaker 2: believe the mosquitos are here, Like, oh my gosh, are
Speaker 2: they here?
Speaker 3: You open your window for two seconds they move in.
Speaker 3: Im I've left in this place. Sorry, that's not my computers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's not I mean, unfortunately, I wish I
Speaker 2: was up to saving my life where I had a
Speaker 2: night out where I regretted things.
Speaker 8: But like, I'll just regret staying up too late, because
Speaker 8: then if I stay up too late now, it honestly
Speaker 8: can feel like a hangover the next day, Like I'll
Speaker 8: feel like I drank.
Speaker 2: Like I remember when we went to Oh no that
Speaker 2: you and I we did did were you there for us?
Speaker 2: And yeah? And we stayed up. We stayed in the morning.
Speaker 10: Oh my god, I regretted. I mean, I didn't regret that,
Speaker 10: but I was in That was a long night. We
Speaker 10: have some really cute pictures. We have a really cute
Speaker 10: picture that maybe you could tag or something.
Speaker 2: But that was a really long night. I stayed out
Speaker 2: till six in the morning, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: not made for this. This is not for this. We
Speaker 2: didn't have fun all right.
Speaker 3: About.
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you wish I could see in myself
Speaker 2: that you see in me?
Speaker 5: I wish that you just saw I mean you you
Speaker 5: you know that you're like really an amazing person, Like
Speaker 5: you know, I wish you are you.
Speaker 3: Are the I think I'm actually a pretty bad person.
Speaker 3: I've been having this this dialogue with myself recently, right,
Speaker 3: I actually don't.
Speaker 2: Think I'm such a good person. Yeah, you said that
Speaker 2: last time we talked about that little bit. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: I really think that you are.
Speaker 5: I think that some of the things you've been through
Speaker 5: that are I mean, just some of the getting married
Speaker 5: the same week your mom did what she did, like,
Speaker 5: just certain things that you've been through.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I liked herself. God damn it
Speaker 2: every time about trying to be sentimental with this bitch,
Speaker 2: God damn it. Sorry. I think that you're an amazing person.
Speaker 2: I really do.
Speaker 5: And I wish that you saw that more and saw
Speaker 5: more of that in yourself. You know, I think you
Speaker 5: you you're a recluse, and I think some of the
Speaker 5: things that have happened to you have made you that way.
Speaker 5: But but you're and you've been nothing but amazing to.
Speaker 2: Me as a friend.
Speaker 5: And yeah, I just wish that that you you saw
Speaker 5: yourself more like that, Yeah, more as a good person.
Speaker 5: We're not and we're not bound by things that we've
Speaker 5: done in the past, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 5: you can't worry about stupid shit like that. Also, you
Speaker 5: are a Taurus and y'all just know how to get
Speaker 5: your licks back, you know what I mean, Like some
Speaker 5: of that is bad, and sometimes you do like you
Speaker 5: go a little too hard.
Speaker 2: You don't have to go like that hard. But people
Speaker 2: do deserve some of the things you're You're a pretty
Speaker 2: fair person still, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that that's you know, maybe I said this before.
Speaker 2: That's something I'm really struggling.
Speaker 3: With this year's people don't like me repeating what they
Speaker 3: did exactly, And it's like, I if you don't want
Speaker 3: me to talk shit about you, don't actually yeah, but
Speaker 3: I've been having a lot of people be like, you're
Speaker 3: fucking bully because you said this, And I'm like, when
Speaker 3: you did that for me, you didn't want I mean
Speaker 3: disrespect me, and you mean you did this, you did that,
Speaker 3: And people are like yours lambering you on the internet
Speaker 3: and like I'm telling you the truth and you don't
Speaker 3: like it.
Speaker 2: And I just have followers. I WoT them. What do
Speaker 2: I wish that you could see in yourself that I
Speaker 2: see in you, how unbelievably fucking talented you are, like unbelieve,
Speaker 2: like I really believe.
Speaker 3: And that's why I made the comment about like the
Speaker 3: week earlier. I really believe that if you went all in,
Speaker 3: you could be such a fucking huge, huge star. Like
Speaker 3: I've worked with you in every capacity. I've worked with
Speaker 3: you in stand up, I've worked with you doing like
Speaker 3: short films and acting. There's nobody who can drop into
Speaker 3: a role like you like it is. That's like a
Speaker 3: gift from God. Like most people need weeks months of
Speaker 3: preparation to drop into and find the character and figure
Speaker 3: it out. It's something I still really struggle with. You
Speaker 3: can drop into it like that, Like I think you
Speaker 3: could be a huge, huge actress. Like I think, like, yes,
Speaker 3: you're great at stand up, you'll always be great at
Speaker 3: stand up, but I think if you really tried, you
Speaker 3: could be an unbelievable which is why I have like.
Speaker 5: Written ship for you before. Yeah, you always write stuff
Speaker 5: with me and mine, which is great.
Speaker 2: Thank you for saying you.
Speaker 3: Just got to believe in yourself more agree. Yeah, Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 3: let's do some of the what's going on in the
Speaker 3: world stories you guys, If you didn't notice, we're trying
Speaker 3: to shake it up a little bit and not just
Speaker 3: talk all about my personal one because.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have like one friend left. So.
Speaker 5: A California woman driving her grandson to work was stunned
Speaker 5: when she spotted a peculiar looking figure that she.
Speaker 2: Believes was that's sash squash, that's her Russian anyway.
Speaker 5: The fighting, recently reported to the Big Field Research Organization,
Speaker 5: occurred on June twenty eighth. As a witness, Linda Dixon Smith,
Speaker 5: was en route to Camp Chaka watch something in the
Speaker 5: Sierra National Forest near your road leading to the young
Speaker 5: man's summer job. She recalled, I looked over her my grandson.
Speaker 5: My eyes were cared further and I saw a figure
Speaker 5: standing in the field. Dixon Smith described the.
Speaker 2: By bi pedial, by pedal creature. I've never heard that word. Yeah,
Speaker 2: have you know what we are to? Oh, that's what
Speaker 2: that means. You're smart, I guess. Oh I should have
Speaker 2: put that. That must be great, right, Nolatin, That's.
Speaker 1: What I mean.
Speaker 2: Same thing. This is a she's rushing.
Speaker 3: Ok So, anyway, the headline of this article should have
Speaker 3: just been California woman drops acid for.
Speaker 2: The first time. Yes, because bitch, no, you didn't.
Speaker 3: You saw one of the where would she part of
Speaker 3: California she'sn't this what is it safe to hear staring
Speaker 3: about it? She just saw one of the Golden State
Speaker 3: Warriors on the high right. It was just clean Thompson
Speaker 3: going for a walk.
Speaker 5: It's time for her to give up the keys where
Speaker 5: you do not need to be dropping nobody'll know.
Speaker 2: Okay, when you go home and you put your keys
Speaker 2: in the fridge, you can't be calling it the bigfood spot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she said, she it's time for she's done. She's she's
Speaker 2: she's cooked. Stick a fork in her. She's cooked.
Speaker 5: You know, but people never believe you won't. You wouldn't
Speaker 5: believe this. If I've seen before, I do believe that
Speaker 5: you do.
Speaker 2: I actually I haven't. In Houston actually on Highway six
Speaker 2: and we were really high, me and my cousin. No,
Speaker 2: we were. We weren't to say that, but we were
Speaker 2: not the only cars pulled over on the side of
Speaker 2: the road. This is before. No, we just wanted we
Speaker 2: were just like when you see you pull over, that's
Speaker 2: not the blackest thing to do. Usually we run from ship.
Speaker 2: But we were we channeled our inner white girl and
Speaker 2: we got yeah, and you got what we were like.
Speaker 5: And it was other cars. I probably wouldn't have believed
Speaker 5: it myself. The next morning, what I saw if it
Speaker 5: wasn't for the other cars that were pulled over with
Speaker 5: it was like three other one family, and then like
Speaker 5: two somebody on a date, and then it was like
Speaker 5: four of us in our car. Anyway, we saw a
Speaker 5: saucer type situation and a beam of light that came
Speaker 5: down and then it just took off, but it was.
Speaker 2: Hovering for a while, which is why we had a
Speaker 2: chance to do them.
Speaker 5: Ya feel like that's an abduction moment. I feel like
Speaker 5: it could have been, but luckily they don't see they
Speaker 5: didn't make it.
Speaker 2: We have lived in shut person. I don't think so.
Speaker 2: I don't think they want to. It's like a very
Speaker 2: specifically like you know what y'all want through enough on Earth.
Speaker 2: We don't need to put in the torture being abducted.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 5: That's why I know black people actually got picked to
Speaker 5: go to Mars. I mean, I don't know, Yeah, because
Speaker 5: we've been through life here. They I don't think they're
Speaker 5: gonna make it. It's a nine month trick, you know it.
Speaker 5: I don't know who would want to make it. People
Speaker 5: that don't want to be Why would you not want
Speaker 5: to be here.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be worse there. I mean maybe not after
Speaker 2: the I don't know.
Speaker 5: They're they're learning right now to how to build oxygen,
Speaker 5: if that makes sense. They're learning how to do all
Speaker 5: this ship. And you know, it's a one way trip.
Speaker 5: That's it, Like, it's not a one trip. What they're
Speaker 5: gonna be just dead.
Speaker 2: On the way. It's a one way trip. It's a
Speaker 2: one way trip. If you not, it's it's a round trip.
Speaker 2: What is this client, Yeah, to go to Mars. You
Speaker 2: haven't You haven't heard of Mars one.
Speaker 5: They interviewed hundreds of thousands of people, and they have
Speaker 5: to make sure that you're mentally okay.
Speaker 2: And yeah, you're you would never They have to make
Speaker 2: sure that you're all right to like, never come back
Speaker 2: to Earth because you're never coming back. That's what you
Speaker 2: signed up for it and never come back. Are you sure?
Speaker 2: I promise, look it up. I'm looking for you. I
Speaker 2: don't think you're right. I promise. You see the Martians, Yeah, okay, you.
Speaker 3: See, you meet some Martians, you see the amenities, You
Speaker 3: go to a hot spring or two, and then you.
Speaker 2: Come on back for the Mars one trip.
Speaker 5: Are they allowed to come back? Is it a one
Speaker 5: way trip? I didn't get that, that's what you mean?
Speaker 2: What do you mean you didn't get that? Anyway, there's
Speaker 2: no man, Yes it is.
Speaker 5: And if they have to say by their families, they're
Speaker 5: never gonna Should anyone do that, then so many people
Speaker 5: want to go because people just.
Speaker 2: Want to see it and come back and then be
Speaker 2: like never mind, the Earth is signed. Yes.
Speaker 5: The proposed Mars one mission was planned as a permanent,
Speaker 5: one way trip to established human colony on the rear planet.
Speaker 5: The Dutch nonprofit organization is envisioned that astronauts would live
Speaker 5: on Mars indefinitely, without technology or capability to return to Earth.
Speaker 2: Would anyone sign up that, I don't know, if you
Speaker 2: want to die?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's like a very elaborate performance art piece
Speaker 3: to just kill yourself.
Speaker 2: Like that's like no technology.
Speaker 3: Know that.
Speaker 2: They're like, we'll get you to Mars figure it out
Speaker 2: from there and as.
Speaker 5: Further that's however, the project was ultimately canceled in the
Speaker 5: company behind the Clay bank NT Yeah okay, so anyway,
Speaker 5: but that right, the fact that people would just sign up.
Speaker 3: Because the company went bank, obviously, everyone thought that was
Speaker 3: about idea like immediately.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nine months trip just to get that, just to
Speaker 2: get there. Nine months.
Speaker 3: You think it's getting the Europe, your niece getting ran,
Speaker 3: your niece get achy and fucking the seat you gotta
Speaker 3: walk around.
Speaker 2: Imagine nine months the worst true ever, literally the worst,
Speaker 2: and you don't know those people.
Speaker 3: You have to sit there and get to know these people,
Speaker 3: or if you even have the brain capacity, I bet not.
Speaker 2: I think you don't make it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think they'll burn out before they get there. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean it's gonna be like going to see the Titanic. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be like those guys, they're like like, never mind,
Speaker 2: it's down there, and so are we now, m that's
Speaker 2: so stupid. That thing was so stupid. It was who cares?
Speaker 2: Just you said water camera.
Speaker 11: Yeah, you don't need to send your whole body down there,
Speaker 11: don't You'll have pictures. Yeah, just look at the pictures
Speaker 11: like what it used to be. Why you want to
Speaker 11: see a ship wreck?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Also like my ears when I tried to scupa dive,
Speaker 3: I go like eight feet under and they start to ring.
Speaker 2: Why do you want to go to the bottom. On
Speaker 2: the other hand, I.
Speaker 3: Would never want to go in the Summarine either but
Speaker 3: know me either, Yeah, no interest. Do you think the
Speaker 3: Titanic was an insight job?
Speaker 2: Deep cuts the conspiracy here? I don't think so. You
Speaker 2: haven't heard anything. I haven't heard any of the conspiracies.
Speaker 2: But I just know that they didn't steer it right
Speaker 2: and they hit a rock. It was a conspiracy about that.
Speaker 3: There was a conspiracy because it was like all the
Speaker 3: wealthiest people in the world. I think it's like the
Speaker 3: wroth Child's or something. We're trying to take over the
Speaker 3: national Bank, and they were the only family, only wealthy family.
Speaker 2: Not on the boat. I believe it's the conspiracy.
Speaker 3: You guys are gonna have to fact checking on that,
Speaker 3: because I think saw TikTok and then never retained any.
Speaker 2: Information and might be spreading this information right now, but
Speaker 2: they were.
Speaker 3: It was something about the world banks and like all
Speaker 3: the wealthiest families with all the control around that boat,
Speaker 3: and then they sunk.
Speaker 2: It so that they could take control that Now that
Speaker 2: sounds believable. And now we're in and now and now
Speaker 2: you know what. They steered it perfect, they should. They
Speaker 2: seared right on the rock. Yeah, right, like they were
Speaker 2: supposed to. Wow, I never heard that. Yeah, and I'm
Speaker 2: part of a lot of I mean, you know, I like,
Speaker 2: I like conspiracy theories.
Speaker 3: I'm surprised I never Yeah, we'll look into it because
Speaker 3: maybe I just spewed eventialized.
Speaker 2: Who knows, Yeah, who really knows. What was the other
Speaker 2: story you pulled up? I thought this was interesting, Gus
Speaker 2: the fifty million.
Speaker 5: Dollar t rix Rick's dinosaur fossils sale record at a.
Speaker 2: New York I saw that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they started it at seventeen million, and then they
Speaker 3: went up to fifty million dollars.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I can't even order of Saks without flishing.
Speaker 2: How is someone buying a fifty million dollar dinosaur?
Speaker 5: I gotta buy all my shit on corner. It's a dinosaur.
Speaker 5: What the fuck are they gonna do with these? Where
Speaker 5: are they gonna put it? Where are they gonna put
Speaker 5: it in their house? In their bunker? Are they gonna
Speaker 5: assemble it?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Who's gonna disassemble it?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: Gonna get it there? Well? I think I imagine I'm
Speaker 2: probably getting this table up there? What imagine getting guss
Speaker 2: up here?
Speaker 3: I just don't understand how t rexes even survived for
Speaker 3: so long in those little front arms.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the little baby arms like those a little front arms.
Speaker 5: So I guess they were buy pedals. But yeah, right right,
Speaker 5: they were by petals. And but like how did they
Speaker 5: get stuff because it seems like they would have fallen
Speaker 5: over a yeah, it feels like they must have had
Speaker 5: wings or something and we must have missed those when
Speaker 5: we dug shit up. Yeah, because it seems like they
Speaker 5: would just to the front because of that big ass tail. Yeah,
Speaker 5: you know at that tail probably canna be lifted by wings.
Speaker 5: Barney's bags ever think about Barney was a.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Barney wasn't he was a gay sorts. He was
Speaker 2: a yeah, he had a little sugar in his sad gap.
Speaker 3: But fifty million dollars a dinosaur, and it's so many
Speaker 3: hungry people like, I mean, do you know it's not
Speaker 3: I think that's just just give me one million dollars
Speaker 3: fifty million dollars dinosaur bones and said it said.
Speaker 2: The twelve and a half foot dinosaur I was snapped up.
Speaker 5: There's seven way bidding concepts lasting ten minutes is record
Speaker 5: breaking sale price.
Speaker 2: The forty four point six million dollar.
Speaker 5: Was paid by a billionaire Ken Griffin for a Stagosaurus
Speaker 5: skeleton named Apex and twenty twenty four Segasaurus.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what that is either. He amended
Speaker 2: forty four million for a dumisam that haven't even fucking notes.
Speaker 2: At least we know the t Rex.
Speaker 3: At least we walk into your crib and be like, damn,
Speaker 3: sixty rex did you get that on t move?
Speaker 12: T Rex rex move is nut. But so what made
Speaker 12: the I'm guessing it's the museum, Yeah, going out of
Speaker 12: business Ville.
Speaker 2: And course why would they do that? Why would they
Speaker 2: get rid of and maybe they own it but it
Speaker 2: stays at the museum.
Speaker 3: Well no, no, they probably needed some cash. I had
Speaker 3: a fifty million dollar I think I could sell it, yeah,
Speaker 3: for sure. Also they started at seventeen million. Imagine how
Speaker 3: exciting that would be. I had a friend recently who
Speaker 3: had a baseball card that he knew was like a
Speaker 3: really big deal and he, oh, Brian Ford, you.
Speaker 2: Know right, Bryan. He had a guy offer him, like.
Speaker 3: At the card shop, forty grand for the card, and
Speaker 3: he was like so tempted to take it, but he's like,
Speaker 3: I think I can get more by auction it. But
Speaker 3: it's obviously a big risk because it's like somebody's offering
Speaker 3: you forty grand for like, you just opened baseball cards
Speaker 3: and you can now have forty grand bitch.
Speaker 2: He put it on an auction. It went for one
Speaker 2: hundred and five thousand dollars. Did he sell well? Yeah,
Speaker 2: one hundred five thousand dollars for a baseball card. Lunch
Speaker 2: on him next time. Always lunch on you, Brian.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's he's super cool. Yeah what I'm not fucking sick?
Speaker 3: Like I guess I need to get into baseball cards,
Speaker 3: but you just have to get really like one hundred
Speaker 3: and five thousand.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was sitting next to this guy on playing
Speaker 2: one time that had like he was it was like,
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 5: Maybe three hundred thousand dollars worth of Pokemon cards and
Speaker 5: you should have seen how many was holding that.
Speaker 2: Book like it was just THEOK. I was like, can
Speaker 2: I just ask you, like, what the fuck is that
Speaker 2: you hold him not to? It's like he showed me.
Speaker 2: I mean who cares? Literally somebody? Yeah, why are you
Speaker 2: playing in the Columny three hundred thousand ago?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: I mean sometimes I'm in thirty four ees, bitch, and
Speaker 5: sometimes I'm in first class. Just a fends on how
Speaker 5: many points I have to upgrade you and I always
Speaker 5: get to the airport to try to upgrade. Yeah, because
Speaker 5: it's just always cheaper that way. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's a philosophy of man that you'd like to
Speaker 2: do a job. Uh, go hard or go home? You
Speaker 2: know that's you.
Speaker 5: Like I just remember I have been doing stand up
Speaker 5: maybe like five or six years before you and you
Speaker 5: have come in and you.
Speaker 2: Have you have this. You you have another side of
Speaker 2: your brain that you can use that I can't. I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 5: I'm not a corporate type bitch, you know, I like
Speaker 5: corporate jobs. I'm never gonna I have a corporate job.
Speaker 5: But you applied a lot of what you knew in
Speaker 5: corporate to your to what you have now. And I mean,
Speaker 5: you know, just from your stepdad gave you, you came
Speaker 5: into some money. You were like I'm going to Most
Speaker 5: people would have just went and bought.
Speaker 3: Well fial, which is no money for special, but it
Speaker 3: was still so good.
Speaker 2: Look what you got from it. You know.
Speaker 5: Even the psychic was like A had an off's go
Speaker 5: in ToView that well it's happening, but you figured it out.
Speaker 2: You clicked that ship up, like you just figure it
Speaker 2: out as you go along.
Speaker 5: You're very malleable like that, you know, And I think
Speaker 5: that's definitely something I could take from you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the philosophy of yours are like the
Speaker 3: most very like you don't hold onto anything for very long.
Speaker 2: You're really good at letting go.
Speaker 3: And it doesn't almost even matter how profound the pain
Speaker 3: is or how hurt you are.
Speaker 2: You're really good at moving on from it.
Speaker 3: And you don't.
Speaker 2: Dwell on it, and you don't talk about it a lot,
Speaker 2: and you don't obsess over it.
Speaker 3: And they think one of the reasons that you're able
Speaker 3: to move on with like such dignity and grace is
Speaker 3: because you don't talk about it and you don't obsess
Speaker 3: like there's been like really profound things that.
Speaker 2: Have happened to you. Or I'm like, how are you, Like,
Speaker 2: how is this? How are you doing with this? You like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm good, Like I'm good.
Speaker 3: You know, their their life is their pharma, and like
Speaker 3: that's kind of just the philosophy you have it as
Speaker 3: much as I can say, like their life is their
Speaker 3: passionate and I can say the things and I can
Speaker 3: know the things, it's really hard for me to execute
Speaker 3: the things. And I think you're really good at executing
Speaker 3: the Thank God's got it.
Speaker 2: Make sure? Yes, yeah, because I mean, at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, what are you gonna do? I get
Speaker 2: that from my dad?
Speaker 5: You think I'm some of the shit he's been through,
Speaker 5: just what his upbringing, just professionally whatever, he's just like
Speaker 5: you know, I mean, life is gonna happen while you're
Speaker 5: making other plans.
Speaker 2: You just got to continue, just continue, just don't stop,
Speaker 2: you know. So, Yeah, thank you. Yeah, why don't you
Speaker 2: pick one? Okay? This is a level three as well.
Speaker 2: It says what's something you can always rely on me for? Ooh,
Speaker 2: this is a good one. I can rely on you
Speaker 2: if I have an idea or something I want to
Speaker 2: do or meet with you. I can rely on you
Speaker 2: to give to have equal level of excitement and be
Speaker 2: to show up and like give it your all. Okay.
Speaker 2: I can rely on you for a good laugh, like
Speaker 2: a good or just.
Speaker 5: A sobering you give very sobering advice, or you know,
Speaker 5: just I can rely on you for some dry ass
Speaker 5: like if I'm if I'm sulking or feeling a type
Speaker 5: of way, I could text you you.
Speaker 2: Like be and then it's all better, you know.
Speaker 5: So, Yeah, that's all out of snap out of it.
Speaker 5: You're like, well, look, bitch, I don't have time hold
Speaker 5: jump in.
Speaker 2: I'm over here streaming in my own pillow. So you
Speaker 2: ask you find one to scream. Okay, you're going through
Speaker 2: something years.
Speaker 3: What you do? You find your nearest pillow scream at
Speaker 3: the top your one. Have you noticed my energy shifted
Speaker 3: after that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm lighter you are. I'm not carrying the energy
Speaker 2: or that table, yeah, or that table, but you might
Speaker 2: carry that five hundred that war do if you don't
Speaker 2: rebook heavy In my heart, what makes our friendship work?
Speaker 3: I think we're not the most like we don't have
Speaker 3: to talk all of the time, but when we do talk,
Speaker 3: it's really deep and really meaningful. And I think you know,
Speaker 3: I always have your back and you know, like vice versa.
Speaker 3: And it's just kind of I can describe it like
Speaker 3: putting on an old like a pair of old shoes.
Speaker 2: Like it you's comfy, and like we just go like
Speaker 2: no time has been lost.
Speaker 5: I think what makes our friendship work is we're complete opposite.
Speaker 2: In so in all the ways, Like I can sleep anywhere,
Speaker 2: like I'm so yeah, I can thug it okay, and
Speaker 2: this one right here is not thugging. I got damn
Speaker 2: thing and together we have never thug. No. I like, look,
Speaker 2: I'm a Taurus. I like the comfort you in my bed.
Speaker 2: It's very comfortable and not sleeping on a couch. And me,
Speaker 2: on the other hand, it doesn't matter. One is I
Speaker 2: can close the door and it's a shower there. I'm good. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that's I think you.
Speaker 5: I can bring you down a note and you can
Speaker 5: bring me up, and I think that's a good parents
Speaker 5: get better. Yeah, what inside joke of ours will never
Speaker 5: stop being funny. You know, first, I think my fortieth
Speaker 5: birthday party.
Speaker 7: This all right.
Speaker 3: I've got the pictures. Don't worry you guys are not
Speaker 3: gonna be in the dark on this one. On her
Speaker 3: fortieth birthday party, she sends me like I have rented
Speaker 3: the sickest Airbnb and she sends me these pictures and
Speaker 3: it is stolen. It's like it's in the Hollywood Hills.
Speaker 3: It has an infinity pool with an infinity hot tub,
Speaker 3: all this outdoor patio space. It looks like we're gonna
Speaker 3: be on selling sunset. Like this is gonna be the
Speaker 3: nicest shit the day of the guy who she rented
Speaker 3: it from. Did a bait and switch throw her in
Speaker 3: like some down the hill not she was down the hill,
Speaker 3: up the hills all the way to like Torrents or something.
Speaker 2: He's like, no, it's not bad, it's fine, it's gonna be.
Speaker 2: It's just not in the hills anymore. And so we walked.
Speaker 2: It was a little above a trap house. It was.
Speaker 2: It was barely okay, and Brittany's white ass got there first,
Speaker 2: her and Chris. They were on time, okay. So there,
Speaker 2: so she has time to walk around and she is
Speaker 2: laughing so hard. There's a picture of us sitting on
Speaker 2: the patio. She is laughing. She's like, wait, so I
Speaker 2: thought that there was not even a hot sub there.
Speaker 2: I'm like, there's no, there's no there was stuff that
Speaker 2: I was like, something in the backyard covered up it was.
Speaker 2: I think you were on the ground. You were like
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 5: I don't think I've ever seen you laugh this hard.
Speaker 5: So every year for my birthday, she sends me this
Speaker 5: picture of the actual first it was inflated. It hadn't
Speaker 5: been used in weeks, once years. There was alja in
Speaker 5: it everywhere.
Speaker 2: It was worse than Trump cool. Literally, it looked like
Speaker 2: a warse draw and I wouldn't put my stup back
Speaker 2: in the car, and I was like, we won't be
Speaker 2: meeting this. You laughed so hard.
Speaker 5: And I get that picture every birthday and sometimes it's
Speaker 5: not even my birthday, just when you want to laugh
Speaker 5: and just the picture.
Speaker 2: It was just the most like this is gonna be amazing.
Speaker 3: This house isn't like the most hype, the coolest pictures,
Speaker 3: and then you just got fucking bamboozled, and it was
Speaker 3: so it was so funny.
Speaker 2: It was so funny. I was like, but we had
Speaker 2: so much fun. It was so many people there. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, it was Yeah.
Speaker 3: I left early because like it was real drop. But
Speaker 3: I remember Chris did not like Christi and Shane, christ
Speaker 3: and Shanky they like the first one's there in the Yeah,
Speaker 3: they definitely did. We had a good They were like,
Speaker 3: we're not going anywhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, sure, Yeah, she's birthday's coming up. Said, oh
Speaker 2: you didn't.
Speaker 5: Oh that's w.
Speaker 3: What would you say on the inside joke That one's
Speaker 3: pretty fucking good. I would say it's gotta be. Also,
Speaker 3: the the video of my stepmom, Oh yeah, where.
Speaker 2: You just every once in a while say and you Brittany,
Speaker 2: you can go to hell, because she does.
Speaker 3: She really she yelled at everyone, but then she like
Speaker 3: pulls it back and she's like, no, I love Heather,
Speaker 3: I love mad I love you know. Charlie's pissed me
Speaker 3: off right now. But then me, she was just hyper
Speaker 3: fixated on me and she hated she thought she wanted
Speaker 3: to fuck your dad.
Speaker 2: Did she said, husband? And at one point she said,
Speaker 2: and you, Brittany, you can go to hell. And every
Speaker 2: once in a while, Dice, you will just look at
Speaker 2: it and say, I think every time we're together, I
Speaker 2: say that. Also one more, The Block is Hot. Oh,
Speaker 2: the block is hot. The Block is hot. We started
Speaker 2: the episode of The Block is Hot, and you guys
Speaker 2: didn't even know. It's an inside joke.
Speaker 3: But we were in DC doing shows, some of the
Speaker 3: most fun shows ever, and we were we had a
Speaker 3: wonderful lunch and then we were leaving lunch when we
Speaker 3: were right.
Speaker 2: Down by the White House.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it was all kinds of stuff going on
Speaker 5: down there during the Biden of administration.
Speaker 2: Though I think it was a little more joke.
Speaker 5: But you what you said, I said, Well, because we
Speaker 5: saw some some police running down I'm like, witch the
Speaker 5: block is hot.
Speaker 2: We got it, and you just fell out. I'm like,
Speaker 2: get up. You cannot be laughing right now.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, because cops like winds passes on foot and
Speaker 3: she's like, pitch the block hot.
Speaker 2: I was like, the block will never be holl Man.
Speaker 5: We we we have some really fun and probably more
Speaker 5: we could think of them, but yeah, yeah, those are
Speaker 5: the ones that stand out the most.
Speaker 2: That's a good note to end on.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna put the picture of the hot you guys
Speaker 3: can see what sort of tragedy Dicey entered her fortieth
Speaker 3: here and my god, just slush splash and taking a
Speaker 3: bath bitch so funny.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. All right, I love you. Thank you
Speaker 2: for coming back le me, thanks for having tele follow
Speaker 2: me at Dicey Approved. Yeah, thanks for the new followers
Speaker 2: I got. I got like over one hundred followers from there.
Speaker 2: The last podcast, Let's Bestie, Let's show Bestie. Let's go Bessies, Bessie,
Speaker 2: Bessie go, best bestI Go.
Speaker 3: Okay, you guys, The Artist Way, we're back, like I promised,
Speaker 3: threat threat threat, We're back.
Speaker 2: We're back like we never left.
Speaker 3: Okay, So this week and The Artist Way we are
Speaker 3: talking well, recovering a sense of self protection.
Speaker 2: We are on week ten.
Speaker 3: We are in.
Speaker 2: We see the finish line. Now bestieds. We got to
Speaker 2: keep going. I'm sorry we took two weeks off.
Speaker 3: If I completely lost you in all the momentum, I understand,
Speaker 3: that's my fault.
Speaker 2: Recovering sense of self protection.
Speaker 3: When we are clear about who we are and what
Speaker 3: we are doing, the energy flows freely and we experience
Speaker 3: no strength.
Speaker 13: Every creative person has a myriad of ways to block creativity.
Speaker 13: Each of us favors one or two ways particularly toxic
Speaker 13: to us because they block us so effectively.
Speaker 2: For some people, food is a creativity issue. These are
Speaker 2: the obvious ones.
Speaker 3: Guys right, it's food, sect, drugs, booze.
Speaker 2: Those are the big four that are going to keep
Speaker 2: us from being creative.
Speaker 3: The more minor ones are social media media of any sort,
Speaker 3: so television, movies, etc.
Speaker 2: It's the general taking away and numbing out that we
Speaker 2: all do, and we all.
Speaker 3: Seek to do quite frequently, that keeps us from being
Speaker 3: as creative as possible.
Speaker 2: Sometimes this can be an obsession with painful love. Reaching
Speaker 2: for a painful.
Speaker 3: Thought makes you become an instant victim, rather than feeling
Speaker 3: your own considerable power. So this is why a lot
Speaker 3: of us creatives are sex and love addicts being being
Speaker 3: right here, because if we get into toxic.
Speaker 2: Painful loops about why is he not calling me back?
Speaker 2: Why is he not texting me? Does he not like me?
Speaker 2: Is he not into me?
Speaker 14: Blah blah blah blah blah, then we don't have to
Speaker 14: write a fucking book doing We don't have to write
Speaker 14: a book if we are just spinning ourselves out every
Speaker 14: day about a man or a woman or whatever, whoever
Speaker 14: the flavor of the week is. If we just spin
Speaker 14: ourselves the fuck out, then we get to make ourselves
Speaker 14: a victim of a horrible situation, and then we don't
Speaker 14: have to be creative, and we don't have to do
Speaker 14: what God put us here to do. Because sometimes, somehow
Speaker 14: it seems easier to distract ourselves and to never show
Speaker 14: up for ourselves than it is to just show up
Speaker 14: and do the work.
Speaker 2: And so if that's been your experience, it's also been mine.
Speaker 2: You're not alone. Sex is a great block. Sex is
Speaker 2: sex for me.
Speaker 3: And this is why I'm attempting this this celicacy, which guys,
Speaker 3: I don't think it's gonna go well, I'm talking to
Speaker 3: like the hottest soccer player in the world. There's no
Speaker 3: world where I don't have sex with this person. Sex
Speaker 3: for me is so delicious because it's like you get
Speaker 3: to like feel empowered, and you get to feel sexy,
Speaker 3: and you get to orgasm, which is one of the
Speaker 3: most powerful experiences ever.
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna say this, if you're using sex as
Speaker 2: a distraction, at least do this one thing when you come.
Speaker 2: If you come, when you come, manifest do the sex
Speaker 2: magic right.
Speaker 3: Sex magic means when you're having an orgasm, you're also
Speaker 3: manifesting like your craziest, wildest dreams. So if you're going
Speaker 3: to be using sex as a distraction, at least when
Speaker 3: you you know, when you come, manifest like you're big.
Speaker 2: You're big that way.
Speaker 3: Because when we're doing these things to distract us, we're
Speaker 3: shutting down our flow, and we're doing that on purpose.
Speaker 3: We begin to sense our real potential and the wide
Speaker 3: range of possibilities open to us, and that scares the.
Speaker 2: Shit out of us, so we would rather do anything else.
Speaker 3: That's such a weird thing because we're also powerful and wonderful,
Speaker 3: and if we weren't all held down.
Speaker 2: By our own vices. It would be interesting to see
Speaker 2: what the world would look like.
Speaker 3: But so many of us just operate down this like
Speaker 3: low vibe, dopamine, hit to dopamine, hit to.
Speaker 2: Acid, hit to whatever.
Speaker 3: It is like we just want hits rather than making
Speaker 3: Rather than making hits, rather than like showing everyone what
Speaker 3: we're made of, we would rather just not And and
Speaker 3: so if you do that, you're not alone. So the
Speaker 3: object of all of this blocking is to relyviate fear.
Speaker 3: We're afraid, we're afraid to succeed. That's a boring old tale.
Speaker 3: And the choice of a block is like a creative
Speaker 3: u turn. We turn on ourselves, like waterfour to a standstill.
Speaker 3: We turn stagnant. And stagnance is like where the mold
Speaker 3: starts to set in. It's where the dust starts to
Speaker 3: set in. It's where the doubt and the fear and
Speaker 3: everything else.
Speaker 2: Like the fear is beneath it.
Speaker 3: But the stagnance and the not moving forward and staying
Speaker 3: in the obsessions and staying in that, the addictions.
Speaker 2: That creates the stagnant in your soul and in your
Speaker 2: creative flow.
Speaker 3: And so this chapter is about moving through it and blocking.
Speaker 2: At its core, is an issue of faith.
Speaker 3: Rather than trust our intuition, our talent, our skill, our desire,
Speaker 3: we fear our creator. Where our creator is taking us,
Speaker 3: with his creativity unblocked, we may be something much more threatening.
Speaker 2: Happy.
Speaker 3: For most of us, happy is terrifying, unfamiliar, out of control,
Speaker 3: too risky.
Speaker 2: Anxiety. By the way, you guys, it's fuel. We can
Speaker 2: use it. So if you feel anxious, use the anxiety. Sorry.
Speaker 3: And then there's a big chunk in here about how
Speaker 3: worcoholism it is an addiction. There's a lot of people
Speaker 3: that throw themselves into work.
Speaker 2: And not like the creator of work. It's like the
Speaker 2: work work, the nine to five work, the pay the
Speaker 2: bills for the work that we don't.
Speaker 3: Want to do. We'll throw ourselves into that because at
Speaker 3: the core, it's a bit of virtue signaling, right, It's
Speaker 3: like you think you're good, there's something innately good. As
Speaker 3: a society, we have deemed workoholism innately good because it
Speaker 3: makes money, it's distracting, it's for the greater good of society,
Speaker 3: and we've deemed addictions as innately bad. But they can
Speaker 3: be the same exact thing if they're just a distraction
Speaker 3: from like your truest creative self.
Speaker 2: So just keep an eye on that.
Speaker 3: There's a quiz in there about workoholism, and you know
Speaker 3: what it looks like and how it shows up.
Speaker 15: So in any creative field, we're going to talk about droughts. Now,
Speaker 15: there's always dry seasons, right, Flowers are not meant to
Speaker 15: bloom three hundred and sixty five days a year. There
Speaker 15: are times when the morning pages are the most difficult,
Speaker 15: and those times are the most valuable.
Speaker 2: Okay. Droughts tell us that they will, that they will
Speaker 2: last forever, and.
Speaker 3: They will not a haunting anticipation of our own death
Speaker 3: approaching long before we're writing, long before we've done anything
Speaker 3: of value, shimmers ahead of us like a ghastly mirage.
Speaker 2: During the day, during the drought, we're fighting with God.
Speaker 2: We have lost faith and the great Creator and our
Speaker 2: creative selves. And yet we write the morning pages because
Speaker 2: we must. So these are the most.
Speaker 3: Important times when you're not feeling like this is what
Speaker 3: I'm going through right now, I'm going through a drought.
Speaker 2: I don't feel anything. I haven't had a creative thought
Speaker 2: in a long time. I've had actually very demonic thoughts.
Speaker 3: I've had thoughts about quitting the podcast, about whether or
Speaker 3: not I want to do comedy anymore, about how I'm
Speaker 3: going to fucking ma get in New York City. I've
Speaker 3: had a lot of big, spooky, scary thoughts. Rather than
Speaker 3: just like leaning into faith and knowing I'm exactly where
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be in everything's going exactly the way
Speaker 3: it's supposed to go, I've been going into scarier thoughts,
Speaker 3: and I think those scary thoughts get addictive also, and
Speaker 3: those scary.
Speaker 2: Thoughts can then yield a drought because you don't.
Speaker 3: Create when you're too busy obsessing over what you might
Speaker 3: never create. And then it talks talks about fame, which
Speaker 3: I think is interesting. I don't know that any of
Speaker 3: us are after fame. It's addictive and it always leaves
Speaker 3: as hungry. I've seen a lot of people that are
Speaker 3: really I've been close enough to fame to see people
Speaker 3: that love fame and that are addicted to it and
Speaker 3: that want more of it, and it is something that's
Speaker 3: just empty. It's always going to leave you empty because
Speaker 3: people will clap for you with one hand and throw
Speaker 3: a rock with another. So it's like, even if you
Speaker 3: have the adoration of the public at some point, it's
Speaker 3: just as easily lost.
Speaker 2: It's hard to gain and really easy to lose.
Speaker 3: And I think it's just a slippery thing that people
Speaker 3: have a very complicated relationship with. But it's like, we
Speaker 3: want to credit work what it's doe, and so when
Speaker 3: we're doing work at the highest level, we think the
Speaker 3: accolades and the fame and all that.
Speaker 2: Stuff, you know, should coup with it.
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, that's not what
Speaker 3: a fulfilled creative life looks like. It's not the fame,
Speaker 3: you know, it's it's the creation. In the long run,
Speaker 3: fan letters from ourselves and our creative self are what
Speaker 3: we are really after. Fame is really a shortcut for
Speaker 3: self approval, trying to try approving of yourself just as
Speaker 3: you are and spoiling yourself rotten with the small kids pleasures.
Speaker 3: What we're really scared of is that without fame, who
Speaker 3: won't be loved as artists or as people. And I
Speaker 3: think this need for fame comes from, you know, people
Speaker 3: that have grew up in homes where they didn't feel
Speaker 3: loved or supported, and the adoration of strangers fills that void,
Speaker 3: but only to a certain extent, And then it's never
Speaker 3: going to be enough.
Speaker 2: So it's like you do have to just.
Speaker 3: Love yourself, important to yourself, and give yourself kind of
Speaker 3: that hug that you wish you got from your parents,
Speaker 3: because fame is not Fame's not going to do it.
Speaker 2: And then competition. It's talked about competition too. I think
Speaker 2: we look at other people's.
Speaker 3: Successes and we sometimes think like, oh, they got the
Speaker 3: thing I wanted. I'm never going to get that, And
Speaker 3: then I've seen that happen, and then i'd seem to
Speaker 3: take play forward and how it all turns out enough
Speaker 3: to know about Like, A, it's not always what it's
Speaker 3: cracked up to be. B. We have no idea if
Speaker 3: something can look one way on the outside and feel
Speaker 3: completely differently on the inside, we have no idea what
Speaker 3: that person is experiencing, whether they got the thing and
Speaker 3: they're even grateful.
Speaker 2: Or it even feels good, We have no idea.
Speaker 3: I had a friend once who was a masterful manifestor,
Speaker 3: and she manifested that she wanted to play a superhero
Speaker 3: in her next role. She's an actress, and then she
Speaker 3: got it, and that's crazy, like there's so few superhero
Speaker 3: rules available. She wanted to play it, she got it,
Speaker 3: and then the set was just the most destructive. They like,
Speaker 3: ran her ragged, worked her around the clock, and it
Speaker 3: was just a really, really bad experience for her. Even
Speaker 3: though she had exactly what she wanted, it was a
Speaker 3: bad experience for her. And that I always keep in
Speaker 3: mind because I know that things can look really good
Speaker 3: on the outside and not feel so good. So it's
Speaker 3: like when we're manifesting, we have be sure that we
Speaker 3: manifest both the objective and the feeling behind it right.
Speaker 3: And all this time back to competition. When you see
Speaker 3: someone get something, you never know how it feels. So
Speaker 3: just keep your eyes on your own paper, do your
Speaker 3: own work, and let you know God take.
Speaker 2: Care of the rest of it.
Speaker 3: Competition lies at the root of much creative blockage. As artists,
Speaker 3: we must go within the desire to be better. Then
Speaker 3: can choke off the simple as desire to be so
Speaker 3: it's important for us to just be right looking for
Speaker 3: the short term win, ignoring long term game. We short
Speaker 3: circuit the possibility of a creative life led by our
Speaker 3: own lights, not by the clean lights of fashion. Whenever
Speaker 3: you're angried about someone else beating you out, remember this
Speaker 3: the foot race mentality is always the egos demand not
Speaker 3: just to be good, but also to be first and best.
Speaker 3: Be willing to paint or write badly. While your ego
Speaker 3: helps resistance, your bad writing may be as this syntactical
Speaker 3: breakdown necessary for the shift.
Speaker 2: In your style.
Speaker 3: The need to win now is need to win approval
Speaker 3: from others. As an antidote, we must learn to approve
Speaker 3: of ourselves. Showing up for the work is the learn
Speaker 3: that matters.
Speaker 2: So that's you know what we're going through this week.
Speaker 3: Next week is week eleven, recovering a sense of autani.
Speaker 3: If you're still with me, I'm proud of you. I
Speaker 3: hope you enjoyed your break. But we're back at it
Speaker 3: Bessie's I will see you next week