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Speaker 1: It's a great track. I love that. That is Fool's

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Fight by Jesse Kilgus and we're going to be talking

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to Jesse in just a moment. Welcome everybody. We have

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entered our number three of Matt Connorton Unleashed and we

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are live from the studios of w m n H

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ninety five point three FM and Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire.

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Today is Saturday, December thirteenth, twenty twenty five. Genius here

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at the news table book and let's see joining us,

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joining us via WhatsApp. Jesse Kilgus is here. Jesse can

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you hear us?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I ken, can you hear me?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yes, you sound great. Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that song. It's it's one of those

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things you just kind of sway to, you know when

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you hear it. That's really really good. Thank you also,

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so we we love your sound. Also excited to talk

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to you because we were playing actually I played at

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the end of the last hour Win by Charlie neland

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because I was very as I was reading about you,

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I was quite pleased to see that that you've worked

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with Charlie because he was actually on the show with

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us recently and we had a fascinating conversation. He's an

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amazing guy. Oh great, but he's he's your producer? Is

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that correct?

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Speaker 3: Well, he produced this record.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I've worked with multiple different people on all the different

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records I've made, but Charlie and I have been working

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on and off for almost twenty years.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, kidding, wow, yeah, Oh that's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he produced this one.

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Speaker 1: What is it about? What is it about working with

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Charlie that brings out because the record is great? They

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have a Howard Johnson's there. I love it. What is

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it about? What is it about working with Charlie that

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brings out out this great music in you?

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Speaker 3: Well, Charlie's just multi talented, plays a bunch of different

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instruments and is a great engineer and producer. Yeah. But yeah,

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but I'm a wonderful person too, So he's just very

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easy to work with.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, no, that makes sense. That makes sense. And

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tell us about the title, by the way of the album.

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I love the title. There's a how they have a

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Howard Johnson's there.

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Speaker 3: So that's a line from my song Howard Johnson's and

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I wrote that song. I took a poetry writing workshop

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with the performance artist Karen Finley, and the theme of

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the workshop was Dog Day Afternoon and oh, we had

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to watch the movie and then we had this poetry

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workshop inspired by that and this. I took this workshop

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about a month after my father died. And his name

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was Howard. And there's a line in the movie where

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al Pacino says something like I'm going to Algeria they have.

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Speaker 2: A Howard Johnson's or something.

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Speaker 3: I just really stood out to me because my dad's

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name was Howard, and it was just so ridiculous too,

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the line, Yeah, yeah, I wrote a song kind of

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based around that.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. That's funny too. That's such a great film.

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But I haven't watched it in so long, and I

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didn't I didn't even remember that line until you said it.

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Speaker 2: It holds up. It's such a good movie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it does. It does absolutely, absolutely, And what

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can you tell us about Fools Fight? That's a great track.

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I really like that, As I mentioned, thank you, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's you know.

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Speaker 3: That was kind of inspired a little bit by some

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books I was reading by Ellena Ferrante, but it's also

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inspired by my own life and experiences. But I have

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a songwriting club with my friend Rembert Block, who sings

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back up on that song. Okay, she's a great singer, songwriter,

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multi instrumentalist. She and I have a club of two people.

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We meet every month and have to share a new song. Okay,

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So that song came out of that process, which is

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really useful to have, you know, a deadline every month. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious about that because that's such an interesting concept

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to me, because is it like, because obviously everybody writes differently.

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Some people like to Some people need to feel a

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little bit of pressure, you know, to really get then writing.

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Some some people can't stop writing, and they actually write

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more music than they could ever or books or whatever

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it is, than they could ever actually use. Like, do

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you find that useful to have that little bit of pressure,

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like to have that deadline.

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Speaker 3: I do. We've been Remembert and I have had this

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club for over two years now.

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Speaker 2: It's really useful. Just sometimes I feel.

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Speaker 3: More productive with writing and like I have more ideas.

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But sometimes it's just useful to flex the muscle, even

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if I don't like the song.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it comes out of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it kind of forced well, obviously, and

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you know it's a successful partnership. Clearly. Are any of

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the other songs on the album did they also come

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out of that?

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Speaker 3: Yes, Saint Teresa in Ecstasy came from that process.

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Speaker 2: Hm, what else is on there? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I think all of them except for Howard Johnson's.

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Speaker 1: Oh no kidding? Okay, Yeah, excellent, excellent? And what about

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your approach? You know, I was I was reading something about,

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you know, a nostalgia clever layered nostalgia online. I mean,

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is that is that something that that you might have

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said or I forget exactly where I saw that As

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I was researching you, I thought you had said something

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about that somewhere.

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Speaker 2: That doesn't ring a bell?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but.

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Speaker 3: I think that, you know, some of my songs are

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can be pretty nostalgic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well it's funny though, because there's almost a timelessness to

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it in a way, like you listen to a song

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like Fool's Fight and that could that could have been

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any time? Really, you know, that's obviously it's it's a

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current song, but it could have been you know, it

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could have been ten, twenty, thirty years ago, and it

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would fit in any era. If that makes sense, and

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which which I think is cool when you have something

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that it could it could have come out anytime and

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it would have sounded relevant to that period.

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Speaker 2: Oh cool, that's a that's a really nice compliment. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, no, like I said, I mean, and the

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whole thing is it sounds like that to me. It

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kind of reminds me a little bit of you know,

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it's funny. I remember when I was a kid and

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the MTV had a show called one hundred and twenty

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Minutes on Sunday nights, and it was two hours of

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It was two hours of music that you wouldn't necessarily

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hear on mainstream radio at that time. And uh and

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a lot of the music, you know, the alternative music

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from that period. I remember it. It had that sort

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of sort of that timeless thing about it where it

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was like, Okay, this is this is something happening now

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that's not in the mainstream, but this could have this

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could have happened ten years ago and it would have

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sounded you know, or maybe it would happen in the

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future and it would sound good. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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I'm also really curious to ask about your acting career.

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Uh yeah, sure, that's that's interesting to me. And and

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and I'm very interested too in how that informs your

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approach to music or or whether you kind of compartmentalize

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all that as some people do, or or or you know,

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or do the two kind of influence each other.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't act anymore. It used to be my prime,

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primary art forum. I haven't acted in about twenty years.

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I all wound out on it, Okay, but I did

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I did, you know, go to college and graduate school

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for it. And I did work professionally on the stage

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in England, and I did one movie The Crew with

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Daniel da Lewis and went on a writer and yeah,

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but I had this amazing experience working on it. I

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was part of a Tom Waits musical that the star

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was Mary and Faithful and the other star was Mary

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Margaret O'Hara, who's another amazing songwriter, singer, songwriter Canadian. If

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you don't know her, she's worth looking up. And the

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band of that show was incredible. The music was by

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Tom Waits, and the band was all these musicians who

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had worked with all of my favorite musicians, and Mary

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and Faithful was one of my favorite singers at the time,

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and It was an incredible experience, and it made me

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think that I wanted to maybe not act anymore real

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kind of yeah, and that's when I started to think

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about focusing on music more because I have always been

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a singer. But yeah, and in terms of how my

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acting life background performed informs my writing. I think creativity

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is just seamless and you can direct it towards any

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art form. So it's the same energy I use for

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same energy I would have used for acting. Just I

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funnel into music, okay, and.

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Speaker 2: I perform live all the time.

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Speaker 3: I still really love performing as a singer, so so

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that kind of informs my performance style.

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Speaker 2: When background in acting.

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Speaker 1: When you were really heavy with the acting career, when

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when that was your primary focus, was it always kind

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of in the back of your mind that maybe you

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might sort of switch to a different modality with your

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creativity or.

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Speaker 3: Or you know, or yeah, I've always been interested in

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creative writing, and I've always been a singer, so it's

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and I never really liked musical theater. I mean, a

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Tom Waits musical is different than a regular musical theater.

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But so it was always in the back of my

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mind what to do about music how to incorporate it

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into my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, okay, okay, very good, very good. So then

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it was so that it was working on that musical

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that made you think, Okay, that's the that that kind

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of gave you a push more into that direction. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I and after that musical, I actually had

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to move back to the States from England, Okay, And

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because I would get a visa for every acting job

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I got there, but I couldn't get an overriding visa

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to just like get a job while I wasn't acting,

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and so so that was tricky, and I decided to

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move back to the States. And the acting world in

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the States is very different from in Europe, and so

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I just kind of fell out of love with that

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and started experimenting with music.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: When when you say the acting world is very different

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in the United States, what do you mean? I mean,

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you don't have to you don't have to get too

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far into the weeds. But I'm just I'm just curious.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's more of a inspected art form.

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In the UK, especially, there's a real tradition of you know,

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going to drama school and studying the craft, which I

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loved and.

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Speaker 2: Here it's very commercial.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense, that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: What was it like working with Tom Waits? He seems

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like he's probably an intense guy, but I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Well, he actually wasn't part of our production. He advised

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from Afar because this was in London and it was

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a remount of The Black Writer, which I think was

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first done in the nineties. Oh. The director was Robert Wilson,

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who just passed away, and it was written by Tom

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Waits and William Burrows gotch Yeah, but Tom Waits wasn't

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part of the rehearsal process.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, interesting. Interesting. Yeah. So then so then when

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you came back to the United States, I mean, was

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that was it right away that you that you got

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out of acting or did you kind of work your

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way out slowly or.

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Speaker 2: It was gradual I would say, within a year or so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I stopped liking it. Yeah, And I

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feel like it's such a tricky profession that if I

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figured if I wasn't enjoying it, then it wasn't worth

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putting my energy into anymore.

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Speaker 1: Right, absolutely, I mean everything always looks so glamorous from

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the outside, right, but when you're actually doing it, you know,

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people don't see what really goes into it. Yeah, and

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it's it's yeah, I can imagine it's you know, it's

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enormously challenging when you so, when you made that switch,

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you know, and then you're doing music, did you ever

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or maybe even today, like, do you ever think back

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and do you ever feel like getting back into acting

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or is that definitely completely behind you?

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Speaker 2: It's definitely completely behind me. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I just burnt out on it, and the whole idea

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of that makes me feel uncomfortable. Yeah yeah, yeah, so no,

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I mean if somebody offered me a million dollars to

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be in a movie, I would do it.

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Speaker 1: Well, of course, yeah yeah. Somebody offered you a role

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in a superhero franchise or something, you know, you'd have

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to say yes to that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, but but yeah, I've I put that to

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rest a while ago, and I haven't looked back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well you're on a great path now. Like I said,

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I love, I love what you're doing. Have do you

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do you write any song? Like have you written any

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specific songs about your experience in acting?

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Speaker 2: I have not?

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, yeah, no, I haven't, but you know what

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I am doing now also in addition to music, is

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I just trained to be a breastwork practitioner.

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Speaker 2: I saw that you're a hypnotherapist.

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Speaker 1: I am, yes, yes, yeah, oh good for you.

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Speaker 3: So you're doing I mean that's kind of yeah, and

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I would say that that's maybe influencing the way I

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write or the way I sing even.

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Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, Breathing

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is such an important part of how you're saying. I've

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been looking in a bread work myself actually because I

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use it, well, I use a little bit of it

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in my sessions, you know when I tell this the

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client to you know, focus on your breathing and focus

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on the rhythm of your breathing and all of that.

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But but I've been thinking about really learning, you know,

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really getting into it and learning more about breath work

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because I think it would be helpful and and everything

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else I do, or or even you know, even doing

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the radio show, just not running out of air when

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I'm you know, talking and you know sometimes if you're

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talking a lot, you know. Yeah, but no, that's that's

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really cool that you're doing that, And yeah, I would

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imagine that would be very helpful with your singing.

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Speaker 3: Actually, yeah, it's actually it's not any sort of like

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gentle meditation that I'm doing. It's yeah, it's this three

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part proniama all through the mouth, and you oxygenate your

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brain so much that your brain shuts off and just

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all your feelings come out. Yea, So people people don't

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find it gentle. It's often kind of like, uh, people

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often cry oh wow, but it's really intense but powerful

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and useful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, I got to learn more about that. That's

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very very interesting. That's very interesting to me. Oh that's wild.

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That's wild. Yeah. And as far as your your music,

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are you do you play out? Do you play these

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songs out? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Excellent all the time. I just had a record release.

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Speaker 3: Actually, Charlie and I shared a bill for both of

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our record releases at this.

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Speaker 2: Club in New York that's called Berlin, Okay.

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Speaker 3: And I sing regularly with this band called the Loser's

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Lounge at Joe's Pub, and I sing with a couple

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other bands too. But yeah, I perform almost once a

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week these days.

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Speaker 1: Oh wonderful, good good. Yeah, you're in New York.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I am in New York, Brooklyn.

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Speaker 1: Excellent, excellent. Oh the other thing I wanted to ask

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you to getting back to uh they aa Howard Johnson's

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there the artwork. I really like the cover.

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Speaker 3: Oh thanks, Yeah, that was my friend Scott MX Turner

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did that.

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Speaker 2: I love it too.

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Speaker 3: It's very retro.

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Speaker 1: And it is it is maybe maybe that's where I

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got the idea about the mist Alga, but yeah, it

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is very retro. Yeah, it's very cool. Yeah, that is excellent.

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That is excellent. And then what about what do you

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have in the future, what's kind of your trajectory? I mean,

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obviously you know this album hasn't been out that long,

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right right, Well.

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Speaker 3: You know, I did an artist residency this summer in Iceland.

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I was in East Iceland for a month, oh wow,

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and I was writing all new songs there and they

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gave me this beautiful space, this recording studio and all

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the instruments. But I brought these tiny synths that I

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was playing. So I've written a whole bunch of new

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songs on these tiny synths. Found nothing like like the

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current record that I'm really excited about this new stuff.

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So I'm going to be recording that with my friend

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John Kengla, who plays guitar in my band. We're going

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to be recording that sometime this year and hoping to

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put that out. I don't know when, but that's what

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I'm into right now. Okay, synth music.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, very good, very good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, Jesse, it's been wonderful speaking with you. We're going

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to you know, in a moment, we're going to play

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this other track after we Let you Go. We're gonna

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play Saint Teresa and Ecstasy.

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Speaker 2: Oh cool.

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Speaker 1: What should we know about that song? It's with such

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an interesting title.

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Speaker 2: Oh thank you?

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Speaker 3: Well, that was inspired by I was in Rome and

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two different friends said, Oh, you have to go see

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this sculpture in this little church and it's just magnificent,

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this culture of st It's called the Ecstasy of Saint Teresa.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and it has like this.

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Speaker 3: Panel of gold above the sculpture and there's a window

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above it and when the sunlight hits the gold, it

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lights up the statue. It's just really incredible. And the

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song is about that, just being really moved by seeing that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, yeah, outstanding?

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Speaker 2: Thank you?

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Speaker 1: And where's before we let you Go? Where's the best

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place for people to go online to keep up with

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everything that you're doing, all your music and everything.

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Speaker 3: I post the most stuff on Instagram. Okay, so it's

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just Jes Jesse kill Gus on Instagram. And then the

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best place to check out my music is band camp,

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especially if people want to buy it, because band camp

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gives the artists the most money. Yeah, but in terms

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of staying up to do up to date on news,

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I would say Instagram.

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Speaker 1: And I like to tell people too, I love band

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Camp and I like to tell people not only does

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band camp give the artists the most money, but you

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get you get a high quality file, you get a

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better sounding file than you do if you just you know,

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stream it on YouTube or whatever. So I really encourage

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people to use band camp as well.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely all right, Jesse kill Gus, thank you so much. Well,

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definitely when you've got some new stuff, when you got

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some new music, we'll definitely have you back.

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Speaker 3: Great.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely love what you're doing. What we enjoyed speaking with

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you this morning. Wise. Absolutely we're going to hit this

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track Saint Teresa in Ecstasy. We'll let you go. Oh

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and and again, congratulations on the breath work and I

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got to learn more about that. I'm very curious about that,

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so we might have to kill breath. Oh very good.

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I'll check out the site and we we might. We

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might have to have you back to to talk about

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that too, so we might we might have you back.

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Really alright, all right, Jesse, thank you so much. Bye bye,

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all right, very cool. That was Jesse kill Gus from

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New York City. Check out her album. They have a

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Howard Johnson's there. It is available on band camp. And

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we're gonna play this track, uh, this is a Saint

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Teresa in Ecstasy, and then when we come back, we're

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gonna have Chris Evans from Audio Gust with us on

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Microsoft Teams. Hopefully we don't have any tech issues with teams.

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That was unusual what happened there with with WhatsApp. We

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don't usually have any trouble, but I'll clean it up

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on the on the podcast version. But here it is.

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This is Saint Teresa in Ecstasy by Jesse kill Gus