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Speaker 1: Safe would be knocking doctor Raffi out because he heads in,

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looks at Nia and throws up No, oh my god,

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I'm so sorry. It's just there's a lot of work

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to do.

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Speaker 2: Little Steampunk is just sitting there, just lovingly staring at

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his wife's lovely tit that has just fed all of

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his children. And then Raffi, Raffy Safey snake fu kuntast

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comes in and is like, so you're extreme. You got

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to cut it all off, you fat fucking Let.

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Speaker 3: Me tell you why I knew doctor Raffi was fucking

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full of shit. Yeah, he was on those tatas like

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fly on poop. He wasted zero time on that. And

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I believe while he was touching her boobies, he he

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whispered in he said, I'll buy you. I'll buy you

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if you have sex with me.

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Speaker 1: He Hi, Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new

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episode about television. That's long for Pat TV. I'm Dylan.

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Speaker 3: That's Pat Ah great to be here.

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Speaker 1: Uh, that's Ruby.

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Speaker 4: Hij Hi Pat.

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Speaker 1: How are you doing good?

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Speaker 3: Doing great? Hey? Warning shot, be careful when you ask

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someone how they're doing oh my god, yeah, because sometimes

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they'll give you an answer uh, today, I an acquaintance.

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I said, how's your summer going? She goes, not good.

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Now this is where you have to make a choice.

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Is there going to be a follow up question or

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you just move on? And said, oh, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Sorry there's oh. I said, you know, hang on a second.

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I had never thought of that, because obviously you have

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to follow up, but shutting it down with I'm so

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sorry to hear that is a beautiful little parachute.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. I did not take that parachute. I did

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not pull that cord. I said, what's going on in

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your summer? And she responded, and you should always know

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when you're talking to a wacky person that she could

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take you on a journey through crazy town.

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Speaker 1: Not just a journey, but but time wise, it's going

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to be a long one.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I had.

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Speaker 1: Story wise, I don't think that much happened, but it'll

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take forever.

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Speaker 3: I had to extricate myself out of this conversation like

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a Seal sixteen member, like, get out of there, because

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she was not reading body language that I am done

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listening to this. So I said, why is her summer

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going back? I said, my squirrel died? Yeah, oh, your

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squirrel died. You got a squirrel as a pet? Yeah, Samantha.

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I loved her.

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Speaker 1: I guarantee you. Samantha wasn't all hers. Samantha belonged to

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outside well, and she just fed it out.

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Speaker 3: So we got into that and I said, well, how well.

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I found Samantha with a bunch of her brothers and

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sisters when she was a little baby, and I raised her.

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But I realized I had to let her back out

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into the wild, so I did. And then one day

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I'm looking out my window and Samantha's standing there saying, Mommy,

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let me back in, and I did, and then she

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lived with me. So I'm like, you lived with a squirrel.

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Speaker 1: Wow? I love squirrels. No, I'd love them. I think

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they're just the cutest, gosh darn things. I really do well.

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Speaker 4: They terrorize our dogs.

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Speaker 1: Oh, Ruby hate squirrels.

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Speaker 4: No, I I death become them, truly.

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Speaker 1: Squirrels one of one of the very few. And this

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is bad TV. We're here to talk about the valley.

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But one of the few traditions that our father passed

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on to us children is well, not to me. I

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I you know, I would shoot an animal to eat it.

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But I wouldn't do this, but Ruby and Dad have

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a rich tradition of pelting squirrels off of telephone wires

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with apples that have fallen.

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Speaker 3: Be careful, Ruby, Peda listens. They do, they do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And here's the thing, Peta, if your squirrels want

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to use the power lines for transportation, I'm okay with that.

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Speaker 4: We can share the space.

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Speaker 1: Not for torture, not for what they What they.

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Speaker 2: Will not do is turn my backyard into gitmo or

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I will pelt them.

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Speaker 1: And they really I love squirrels, but some of them

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do have a mean streak. Some of them are just,

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let let's call spade a spade. Some of them are

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bullies and they'll look down and they will antagonize in

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the most cowardly way. Oh look this this thing can't climb.

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Oh look this thing doesn't have wings. And when I

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chatter at it, it gets very animated. I'm going to keep

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doing that all morning. It's like that's a bulb. Yeah,

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you're at your right about asking people how they're doing.

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Because I remember when Cezy and I were going through

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fertility issues. Allah Kristin and Luke, but definitely not Allah

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Kristin Luke because Luke's weird and he eats off of

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dinner plates. We'll get to it. Somebody asked me how

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I was doing I just started breaking down tears this

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This poor man was like, how you doing it? And

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I was just like boom tears.

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Speaker 3: This woman cried too, Yeah, like, oh god, well pivot,

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pat pivot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So anyways, five stars kind Words join us the

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patret Pivot, Bad Pivot, patreonarcom size another podcast. Network four

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The Real Housewives of Mahammi yummy.

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to break that down with you guys.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it should be fun.

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Speaker 3: I think k Casey's coming on next week to break

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that break the second episode down that we do.

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Speaker 1: I think that'll be fun. I'll be fun and go

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follow Ruby Substack. So let's get into this episode. This

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was a real one, real dark. Yeah, this was a

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real one. Rubs. Why don't you give us your rottenhouse

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and or bumps? First?

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Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't love Okay, I liked so as to

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say Jax is back, thank you. I wanted more drama

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on my screen. Also, we learned today I guess he's

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not coming back for season three.

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Speaker 4: Do you think that was stick?

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Speaker 1: Did we learn that today.

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Speaker 3: I think he'll well he really wasn't on this season either.

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Speaker 1: Well, he was dealing with a cocaine addiction.

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Speaker 3: True. I think we'll see him next year.

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Speaker 1: I put dealing and yeah, big time air quotes.

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Speaker 4: Of course, right, right, exactly. I thought that this was so.

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Speaker 2: I've been watching old vander Pump Rules as my comfort,

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and so I'm into their married now in the show.

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This man has been this man his whole life. And

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I don't have I'm losing any ounce of anything I

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have for sadness, for that, for Brittany new paragraph, Jason fallen,

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He's fallen from grace in my eyes. He's broken my heart.

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He has made me cry myself to sleep. And Jill

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remains the best part of the show every time she's

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on the screen. And who is Jill is Kristin and

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Luke's dog Dylan.

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Speaker 4: You love Jill?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't like Jill.

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Speaker 3: Isn't it spelled with a G? No?

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Speaker 1: I don't care ja or g Okay.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna say seventy one bum.

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Speaker 1: I don't like people synonymous with their their dogs. It's like,

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leave it. I don't leave it. Give it the house

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you want to go next? Yeah, sure, sorry to the

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dog owners out there. You know, you talk about a

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comfort show, you know what I watched for comfort to

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kind of validate my interstate with Collage Baby. I put

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on Midsomar and I was just like, this child will

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watch this. I don't care, this child will be in

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the room for the and it still remains. I love

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ori Astra. It's just a dog shit movie.

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Speaker 3: I totally disagree. I love that.

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Speaker 1: I hate that movie so much.

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Speaker 2: Oh, it's so bad, Pat, I never would have suspected

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that from you.

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Speaker 4: That's that's interesting.

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Speaker 3: Well, Dylan got me into the director because he came

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over here and watched whatever his first offering was. I

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liked that one too, about the cult thing. That was

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a nice little twist at the end. And then Midsummer

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was the second one, and I thought it was amazing.

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Speaker 1: You know, we talked about we talk Jordan Pool. Everybody's

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Jordan Pool. Jordan Pool. Here's this guy over over here

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just doing amazing things, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: He did the Witch too, No, that's uh as.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, Also Dexter, we've been watching Dexter. Let me get

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to the Valley, Okay, sure, Jason has I don't think

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I've ever seen.

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Speaker 5: A O my god, what a call that.

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Speaker 3: That's all I could think when he was at that

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tattoo shop.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she will.

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Speaker 3: Divorce him for a storyline. Oh yeah, okay, she's that Yeah,

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she's that cold and calculated and he's just that much

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of a p U S S.

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Speaker 1: Y To my god, what what an absolute just what

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I'm not even gonna I can't even come up with

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the word. But that made me sad for men everywhere

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Jackson Brittany. That was real.

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Speaker 3: That was very real.

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Speaker 1: Five pots.

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Speaker 3: That was her essentially saying, you are a fucking cocaine head.

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And I'm gonna I'm gonna say it five times at

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the last five minutes of this episode. Your cocaine head,

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Your cocaine head.

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Speaker 1: God. When she said you're a narcissist. So what you're

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going through pales in comparison to what I'm going through

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because I'm a human being who actually feels emotion. That

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was real.

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Speaker 3: That that was real, and that's stung. And then she said,

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you're not even taking your bipolar medication. I had not

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I did not know he was diagnosed with bipolar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we got a lot of to get into

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my pots are five. Although last thing I'll say really

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quickly is dark Auspepian. We'll get to him. No, he

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should be thrown in Alligator Alcatraz.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, it's not jail, because jail, because jail is

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too nice, and so I just really quick.

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Speaker 1: Man should be thrown fuck Alligator Alcatraz. Just a live

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puddle of gators. Okay, what a disgusting human being.

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Speaker 3: When Jeffy Moub comes and says they'll give you a

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free like check of your engine, Yeah, okay, you're taking

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that free. Uh. Their job is to find as many

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things wrong with your car as possible.

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Speaker 1: Well we're talking about a car and not a postpartum woman.

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But anyways, robes go ahead.

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Speaker 2: No, no, yeah, no, but really quickly to to doctor RAFFI.

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If you make it out of the puddle of gators,

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I'll be waiting, Okay, I'll be waiting with a with

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a snake. And I saw a very scary AI video

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of like five thousand anacondas in a river. I'll put

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you there when you're when you're done with the gators.

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What you said to that woman was horrific. Nia is

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more beautiful than any woman that has ever touched your body?

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Speaker 1: And don't don't all have a snake, doctor Hufsepian, Well,

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not an antecontod We've talked about Anta Kontis before. They're

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dumb creatures. They're stupid, stupid idiots that eat too much

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and they can't move. Go ahead.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I was gonna say, just because we spent so

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much time at the top of the show talking about

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a bunch of other stuff, I'm gonna say this season

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needed a comic relief. I think they hoped that Jasmine

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and Zach would provide that. They did not. They failed epically.

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Uh and at some point in about two weeks into filming,

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and Brava doesn't have to pay me for these production notes.

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They should have cast two more couples. That's what this

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season needed. It did not have this. I give this

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season a zero across the board. And this is what

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you'd consider a sophomore slump.

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Speaker 1: Real Life, Real Live Wire, Real Renegade, just coming out

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of the gates with a season long rotten hells. I mean,

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not even done with.

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Speaker 3: Disease because Jason is such a pussy and I absolutely

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enjoyed that tattoo shop footage that's right next to where

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I get my haircut at Supercuts. That's the tattoo shop.

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Speaker 1: Me and Ruby got our tattoos at that that.

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Speaker 3: Same place to shop.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Studio City Tattoo.

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Speaker 3: Let's go all right, all right, four rotten, all right.

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Speaker 1: Aaron Ruby sent us the TikTok video of the AI

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in a kinda we cannot watch it right now, we

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are far too behind. So Aaron and Jesse is that

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they're in a picture sitting on each other's laps, and

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Michelle's like, oh, look you have two dads, but not really.

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Speaker 3: Well, I actually have the transcript hairtel. So Michelle, we're

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at her place and she's sharing the highlights of that

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trip to Hawaii with her beloved Isabella, and she points

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at the photo and she says, look at your dad

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and that other guy that told everyone your mommy was a.

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Speaker 1: Whore, right, look at your dad who throws weird and

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that guy who said I was a whore.

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Speaker 3: I'm really sorry.

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Speaker 2: I don't mean to just really quickly digress in this.

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Its not political at all, but I saw a very

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good video of did you guys see jd Vance And

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somebody put like the sound of heels click clacking as

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he was running in like a very normal way, but

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it just and the caption is like, why does he.

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Speaker 4: Run like this?

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Speaker 2: And it was a callback to Aaron's throw. I thought

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it was hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, no, Peter Teel has gotten that ass. Peter

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Tiele is detonated in there. Okay, uh Nia and Danny

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house shopping in Sherman Oaks really quickly. I want to

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talk about people that have four under four. How do

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you have that?

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Speaker 3: Four under four? Oh? Four kids under four hundred square feet?

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Speaker 1: No, four kids under the age of four.

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Speaker 4: Oh, they have twins?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, twins. Okay, they have the oldest one. Then they

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had twins and now they're.

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Speaker 1: And you want another one? Why would you want four?

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Speaker 3: Maybe they're need plan informing a rock band.

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Speaker 4: M They're also they're quite religious, so I think there's

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a god element to it.

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Speaker 1: I think three is the more sacred number than four is.

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I think four is a weird numble number number four.

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Speaker 3: We have a couple of parent friends that have four.

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Speaker 1: Rush was a three piece, right.

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Speaker 3: That was a three piece?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, either way, it's not going to matter because

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what they what they were, you could.

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Speaker 1: Do rush, you you could do anything.

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Speaker 4: No, they won't there's four doing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk Yeah, let's talk about real estate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, okay. So Jasmine is working this open house

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and she's hoping to find Darkseide, Danny and Nia their

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dream home. I want to say this about.

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Speaker 1: Their twelve hundred square foot dream home there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was nice. It was a step up from

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a tool shed you can buy at home depot. Uh.

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Reality TV people I've found have two other occupations, and

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there are only two outside of being on a reality

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t TV show or having it in your rear view mirror.

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What are those two occupations?

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Speaker 1: Real estate agent and well, I'm stuck between two. You

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either go into cannabis or alcohol, or you're just an

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influencer OnlyFans. Okay, yeah, real to her only fans.

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Speaker 3: That's where you end up. That's it. That's all there is.

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That's all there is.

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Speaker 1: Jacks, if he was smart, would starting only fans. So

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would Sandoval.

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Speaker 3: God, I heard what's Charlie Sheen Sax. That's in the

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news because she's breaking up with her husband this week.

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Carmen Electron, Denise Rich. Does she make a million dollars

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a month on her own?

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Speaker 1: Probably?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I believe she does.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy. People be making bookoo bugs on a I.

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Speaker 3: Know, but I know how men think, Like they sign

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up to see her naked and then they unsubscribe. It's

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kind of like us.

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Speaker 1: No, they don't. They think that they have an into

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digital relationship with these people because they're two hundred and

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fifty dollars direct message for uh labia pictures are fulfilled

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and they're like, oh my god, this is my friend.

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Speaker 2: Also, Denise Richards was like the it girl for so

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many of those people that need friends in the nineties.

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So like she will get bots to make her a

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million dollars a month to.

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Speaker 1: Wild things and undercover brother. That's a one two pound ship,

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Denise Richards. It's like, whoa starship trooper.

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Speaker 3: That's where she came, this old guy, you know.

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Speaker 4: What I mean?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right, So thousand is beautiful. It is

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thirteen hundred square feet real estate. I would say in

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Los Angeles is maybe dumber than even Britney's hits. It's

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just it's the dumbest thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's should be on a T shirt.

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Speaker 1: It's so goddamn dumb. Me and Cease went to an

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open house down the street from us. It was eight

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hundred fifty thousand dollars, and we were like, okay, let's

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take a look what Samantha the squirrel couldn't live here

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now and she's dead. She didn't even move around a lot.

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Speaker 3: Where's the laundry room. Oh it's over the oven.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, and you want eight you want more than

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eight hundred thousand dollars for that. You've got to be kidding.

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Speaker 3: Well, you can move to Santa Clarita.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we're coming, baby, I have to.

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Speaker 3: I've often wondered people from Santa Clarita clearly must be

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watching this show. I assume they don't have that area

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blacked out so they get to hear what a piece

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of shit. Of course the.

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Speaker 1: Area blacked out. That place does not have really any frequency. Yeah,

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they don't have anything. Still, everyone's balding. I thought the

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five G was supposed to fuck us up. The lack

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of it is fucking them up. Go ahead, roops.

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Speaker 2: Seeing this house made me want to live in Santa Clarita.

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Speaker 4: This was sad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was that one sink. One sink, no his

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and hers. And also I believe the one sink was

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in a half bath down the hall from the master bedroom.

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It looked like Mike do it. So let's get to

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Sheena's house. This is this is what we've been waiting for. Okay,

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we get to Sheena's house for a little swim with

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Summer Moon, who, fun fact, was in Sheena's womb when

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her father was splashing himself all over the San Fernando Charley.

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Speaker 3: You know, and God forbid. She brings this up on

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the final season of Vanda Pump Rules because it actually

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would have been a good storyline. So right, you know why, boss, it's.

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Speaker 1: So funny because there was a season post scandabal where

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the hypocrisy is just I mean for Brock to come

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over to Tom and just be like just her night.

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Speaker 3: You know, you got sick what you want? Ladies, mind,

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you can't do that. Also, Sena was in the news

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and this is laughable. Ruby, I'm sure you're on top

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of this. She went after Lisa vander Pump said, Lisa

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took advantage of her at her lowest moment to make

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a TV empire, and you were complicit in that, Sina.

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You wanted to be famous, that's the deal with the devil.

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You were twenty eight, you weren't nineteen. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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shut the fuck up.

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Speaker 1: What is taking How does that? What does that look like?

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Taking advantage of?

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Speaker 2: She she was alleging that because she had a fully

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formed frontal lobe and was fucking someone's husband that somehow

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it was Lisa vander Pump's fault that that became exploited

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on TV and made her millions of dollars and very

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very famous.

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Speaker 4: And she tried to say that wasn't fair and wasn't okay.

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Speaker 1: I just an just not an awful person like Jack's

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just boring and vap, run of the mill, vappie.

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Speaker 3: The kids call him basic.

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Speaker 1: Ugh, my god. But yeah, if you haven't seen it

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in the Rags Brock, was.

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Speaker 3: She was pregnant?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just just but cheating with multiple people right that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Ruby's the expert here. I will not

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buy that book. I'll just listen to her on Juicy

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Scoop if she goes on there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if Shina does have a book, there's more, there's

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cheaper kindling to find. But I think a good kind

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of ritual would just be to purchase it, help her

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out a little bit and then just I don't know,

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cook spam with it or something.

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Speaker 2: You know, she doesn't have a neck on the book

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because it's too photoshopped. She photoshopped it so much, she

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doesn't have a neck.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Pat, that's pretty crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is, all right.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to Janet.

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Speaker 3: Oh, well, she's upset that Kristen is defending dark side Danny,

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and Sena is quick to add that Kristin always latches

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onto the popular girl of the season and takes her

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side no matter what.

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Speaker 1: What popular girl are we talking? Okay, but on this seat, Like,

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are there any popular girls on the valley?

402
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Speaker 4: I think there are who she's alleging.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, because she's pretty. So Janet doesn't know

404
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where she stands with me and Danny. We do. You

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called her husband a sexual criminal, so I think you

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don't stand well with them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, wobbly, you are on your non dominant foot

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and that foot is injured.

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Speaker 4: That's how you're standing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're on one of those skyscraper cranes that

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all the dudes from the twenties used to sit on

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with their lunch pails. Oh yeah, yeah, you're out there.

413
00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:46,799
Yeah great. Grave photos really really kind of encapsulates the

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bravery of the industrial America.

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Speaker 3: You know, they should show at least one photo of

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one of those dummies falling through.

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Speaker 1: A yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, because Jerry just kind of

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slapped him in the chest pushing him.

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Speaker 2: We have ads on the subways here of like BMX

420
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bikers who I don't know who. They are telling kids

421
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it's cool to stay alive and ride inside because now

422
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kids get on the top of subways and then they

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kill themselves on accident. So it's like the bravery of

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those guys on the crane, right, and now what we have,

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they'd be proud I think of what happened.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've sot too, and I'm proud as well. So

427
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let's get to Kristin and Luke. I would like to

428
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talk about these dinner trays for a moment.

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Speaker 3: Hold on before we get there. So to set the scene,

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we have both Luke and Kristen with their little dinner

431
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trays from the nineteen eighties, and then we have their

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two fucking mutts sitting there at their knees looking like

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they're waiting for a money shot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I love dogs, as the audience knows that, but dogs

436
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should not be comfortable sitting right next to you. As

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I said in a very disgusting way looking for a

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money shot.

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Speaker 1: Right right right, get out of here, and you got

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00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,720
to give it to peorn actresses. I mean, can you

441
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imagine feigning enthusiasm for something so awful? I mean, it's

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really acting. Let me think about that. That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, i'd argue some of they really overact, you know, yeah,

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the ones that are really.

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Speaker 1: Excited about Oh yeah, sorry rubs.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that's okay.

447
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Speaker 1: So I want to talk about these dinner trades because

448
00:23:41,319 --> 00:23:43,519
you know, I feel so guilty because I have to

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be here working but my job is so fun and

450
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my wife is at home doing something that is so

451
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hard but you just don't get paid for it. So anyways,

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I just wanted to express my guilt externally real quick.

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So I know I'm a hater. I understand that these

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dinner trays are practical. There's something so synchronized with the

455
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weirdo that is Luke. These dinner trays. They're weird. Who

456
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is eating on dinner trays? The fact that Luke is

457
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eating on a dinner trade, it was just like the

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stars aligned. It was so bananas to me. It was

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odd realby dinner trays.

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Speaker 2: You guys, I did not know that they were eating.

461
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I didn't even notice that they were eating on anything

462
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that wasn't a plate. I didn't even fucking see them.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you got to rewind, were you guys of

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the generation, because you'd have a dinner trace the stand

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up ones, not the ones that rest on your lap,

466
00:24:47,559 --> 00:24:50,640
and it was like a CHACOUTI spread. Uh yeah, you'd

467
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,759
pull them out and the whole family be sitting in

468
00:24:52,799 --> 00:24:53,480
front of the TV.

469
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 1: Mom had a beautiful set of kind of Russian nesting

470
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:02,079
doll TV dinner plates for us. We rarely used them,

471
00:25:02,519 --> 00:25:05,000
but it's nice to have. Now. You just kind of

472
00:25:05,079 --> 00:25:07,559
lean over and slop shit into your mouth and it

473
00:25:07,599 --> 00:25:10,599
falls on the floor and you get ants. So Janet

474
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:15,279
rolls over what Jax rolls over with an orchid. One

475
00:25:15,279 --> 00:25:18,559
of the most shining examples of stay dressed when you

476
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,599
got the most pussy is Jax Taylor. That's right, this

477
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:29,319
man's fashion has not Yeah well, but also yeah two thousand.

478
00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: And five, say the haircut in the attire is the

479
00:25:33,079 --> 00:25:34,839
year that the dude scored the most.

480
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jack's is still very much in that era.

481
00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:41,599
Speaker 2: Go ahead, ribs, No, I was just saying the hair

482
00:25:41,839 --> 00:25:46,680
and his outfits are of that era. And as I'm

483
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,799
watching it right now, it's it's sad and it's awful.

484
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:55,279
Speaker 1: So his golden goose sneakers, like, hey, buddy, your kid

485
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,319
needs that money. You shouldn't be swimming four hundred dollars

486
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,279
on sneakers that are gross. I don't even know if

487
00:26:01,319 --> 00:26:03,680
he has them, but I would assume he does. So

488
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:11,160
they get to throwing Brittany under the bridge. Kristen corrects

489
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,759
it to the bus and Jack says, well, whether it's

490
00:26:14,799 --> 00:26:18,079
the bus or the ridge, I don't want to throw

491
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,880
her under it. He is very dumb. But he's also

492
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:28,000
on lots of drugs, so allegedly, So it's a really.

493
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,759
Speaker 3: Kind of sounds clearly like he's on drugs, does it?

494
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,960
Oh my god? It drives me nuts because you know,

495
00:26:34,039 --> 00:26:38,240
I'm formally a pill head, and so it's the same

496
00:26:38,279 --> 00:26:40,000
kind of deal. They put the same shit in the

497
00:26:40,039 --> 00:26:42,039
pills that they do on the cocaine to kind of

498
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,279
make more of it. Yeah, and it makes you sound congested.

499
00:26:45,759 --> 00:26:50,720
He sounded congested throughout the entire season during interviews. During

500
00:26:50,759 --> 00:26:54,559
doing scenes, he picks at his nose, content like, you know,

501
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,319
clearing it up.

502
00:26:55,599 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: I have a deviated septum.

503
00:26:57,039 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 3: Well, he should get that work done.

504
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's one of those things where you're like,

505
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,920
can I live with it? Because you got to break

506
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,440
my nose.

507
00:27:04,839 --> 00:27:06,279
Speaker 3: You know, he's had his nose broken.

508
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: That's a good point, all right. So it's crazy what

509
00:27:09,519 --> 00:27:12,480
a massive narcissist he is. Everything they talk about revolves

510
00:27:12,519 --> 00:27:14,920
around him. He says, I'm glad I didn't ruin the surprise.

511
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,200
I haven't seen my son. It's just all about him.

512
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,839
It's like, hey, buddy, these two people just got engaged,

513
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,839
like spread the topics.

514
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,519
Speaker 3: It was multiple scenes this episode of his very various

515
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,319
TV fake friends offering him advice on how to better

516
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:31,799
his life.

517
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, Luke's idea was really good. You could turn your

518
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:37,440
cruises room into a panic room that Brittany can have

519
00:27:37,599 --> 00:27:40,319
like a satellite viewing into. That was a really good idea.

520
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,240
Luke is fucking weird. Just see him eat in that

521
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,759
chick in Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's weird.

522
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,519
Speaker 2: No, you guys are weird for focusing so much on

523
00:27:48,559 --> 00:27:49,400
their eating habits.

524
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 4: Has that.

525
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 1: Let's get to the Wolf Cubs. Very very cute moment

526
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:57,480
from The Wolf Cubs. I love Nia is so lovely.

527
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:04,279
She's probably because she is with we'll get to Nia

528
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,440
in a little bit, you don't.

529
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 3: We head over to Valley Glenn at that James May photos.

530
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 1: Yes, we get to the James A few notes on this.

531
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:15,599
Speaker 3: If you'd like to see the final product, yes, some

532
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,359
head on over to that website. Yeah, pick with the

533
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,960
there's a great pick of Luke holding a guitar. It

534
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,240
looks especially amateur.

535
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty tough.

536
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 3: Now.

537
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,799
Speaker 1: The everything looks like it was canvaed by somebody like there.

538
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,240
And I know they're graphic t's, but it literally looks

539
00:28:32,279 --> 00:28:35,960
like you have a stock photo of a racially ambiguous

540
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:41,319
person and then they just put a canva transparent graphic over.

541
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,799
I'm like Christin selling T shirts.

542
00:28:43,799 --> 00:28:47,559
Speaker 3: Well, okay, so they on the website it describes.

543
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,599
Speaker 1: The brand as a La.

544
00:28:51,039 --> 00:28:56,079
Speaker 3: Origins brand of T shirts and comfortable, where to Look

545
00:28:56,119 --> 00:28:59,519
Neat or some shit like that. Anyway, what the business is,

546
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,039
yea is it's a.

547
00:29:01,079 --> 00:29:03,599
Speaker 1: Chat GPT brand slogan if I've ever heard one.

548
00:29:03,759 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: It's a white label T shirt company that drops chips.

549
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

550
00:29:08,319 --> 00:29:10,039
Speaker 3: Okay, so it's not a fashion company.

551
00:29:10,079 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: No, it's not. So Jax calls to scream about ring

552
00:29:14,279 --> 00:29:19,440
camera codes and we cut to Brittany in her OTF

553
00:29:19,599 --> 00:29:24,200
and I don't want to keep parking on it. I

554
00:29:24,279 --> 00:29:27,039
know that I sound like an asshole and a pig,

555
00:29:28,599 --> 00:29:30,319
just the dumbest tits man.

556
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 3: No, there would call her.

557
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,039
Speaker 1: Over her head.

558
00:29:37,559 --> 00:29:40,319
Speaker 3: I mean, you.

559
00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:43,279
Speaker 2: Could not convince me that she could not keep the

560
00:29:43,319 --> 00:29:46,640
three of us afloat easily in a body of water. Yeah,

561
00:29:46,839 --> 00:29:51,000
oh yeah, honestly, Pat same, and it wouldn't be to

562
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:51,559
stay alive.

563
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,519
Speaker 4: Oh is that insane?

564
00:29:53,839 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 1: Zach big? Like? Is he a big guy?

565
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 3: Jack's five eleven?

566
00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: Oh?

567
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,319
Speaker 4: Oh, Zach, I think is pretty tall.

568
00:30:02,519 --> 00:30:06,119
Speaker 1: He looks big. He looks like a big boy. All right. Anyways,

569
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:11,200
let's get to Zach and Jack's Zach? Sorry Jack?

570
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 3: What Jesse visits Jackson?

571
00:30:13,519 --> 00:30:15,559
Speaker 1: Jesse and and Jacks? My bad?

572
00:30:15,759 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I looked because I know where this is. It's

573
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,400
right off of Laurel Canyon. They described it on the

574
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,559
show or some story that I read because I was

575
00:30:23,559 --> 00:30:25,119
trying to find out where he lived. It's pretty easy.

576
00:30:25,119 --> 00:30:26,880
It's scary. You can find out where these people live

577
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:32,359
their actual address. He lives right on Laurel Canyon. Yeah, yeah,

578
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:33,920
and it's six thousand dollars a month.

579
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,359
Speaker 4: I don't know what to say, other than good job Jacks.

580
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: God must have been that. Uh was that reality show

581
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,480
he was on last year? Is it by the Villains?

582
00:30:45,519 --> 00:30:47,559
Speaker 4: Is it by the Polls House?

583
00:30:47,559 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 3: Ci Villains? Is the Pops by the Popeyes?

584
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: Oh god? Oh my god. No, So Jax doesn't know

585
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,480
how Britney is moving so fast? Again, we do? You

586
00:30:58,519 --> 00:31:00,000
threw a table at her and you have a very

587
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,039
violent addiction to cocaine.

588
00:31:02,079 --> 00:31:03,839
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't want to besparch the man, but he

589
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,759
definitely was up all night doing cocaine.

590
00:31:06,079 --> 00:31:10,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and he always wears the You know, We've

591
00:31:10,319 --> 00:31:13,319
talked about lots. There's a litany of mistakes and awful

592
00:31:13,359 --> 00:31:15,960
behavior from jackx Taylor. I don't think he's done anything

593
00:31:16,559 --> 00:31:20,400
worse than wearing the Jacks, creating the Jacks bar and

594
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,400
restaurant logo, and then wearing it all the time.

595
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,839
Speaker 3: Clearly part of the deal he made with that.

596
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you.

597
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:29,599
Speaker 3: Call him investor.

598
00:31:31,559 --> 00:31:35,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's some of the ugliest hats I've ever seen

599
00:31:35,079 --> 00:31:37,960
in my life. But it's hard for him to only

600
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:44,160
see his kid. When Brittany says, and you know, tough buddy,

601
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,039
But that's kind of the way the cookie crumbles when

602
00:31:47,079 --> 00:31:50,480
you do what you did. So, I know it's tough, but.

603
00:31:51,079 --> 00:31:54,039
Speaker 3: Now I was disinterested in what Jack's had to say. Hey,

604
00:31:54,039 --> 00:31:56,440
I was more interested in where Jesse's at with his life,

605
00:31:56,519 --> 00:32:00,000
his update on the divorces. Apparently some paperwork was filled

606
00:32:00,079 --> 00:32:05,319
out incorrectly. So uh yeah, so.

607
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,519
Speaker 1: Shit eating grin on pat right now.

608
00:32:08,559 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 3: I just this guy is such a loser. We learn

609
00:32:11,039 --> 00:32:13,720
his finances aren't great. Turns out, spending ten grand a

610
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:17,039
month on wine and not selling a house for fifteen months,

611
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,519
I can put a real strain on the purse strings.

612
00:32:19,559 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 2: You know.

613
00:32:19,799 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, some people would say it blows a hole in them.

614
00:32:23,559 --> 00:32:28,079
Speaker 2: So the fact that Michelle has just said I won't

615
00:32:28,119 --> 00:32:32,359
pay any more of it, sorry, is I mean, it's beautiful.

616
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,079
Speaker 3: I do want to know this because sometimes these people

617
00:32:35,079 --> 00:32:38,279
say things and you're like, okay, that that doesn't happen

618
00:32:38,279 --> 00:32:40,680
in reality. Apparently he took out a three hundred thousand

619
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:45,440
dollars loan. Did you hear that? Okay, what bank? Because

620
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,480
I'd like to know what bank just gave you a

621
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:48,839
three hundred thousand dollar loan?

622
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: He you know what he probably did. He probably walked

623
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:58,880
into like speedy checks on like Librea and Olympic and

624
00:32:59,039 --> 00:33:02,960
was like, listen, I'm the biggest mark you're ever gonna have.

625
00:33:03,039 --> 00:33:05,440
I need three hundred thousand dollars and they're like, okay,

626
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,880
it's gonna be a seventy one percent interest, and he's like, fine.

627
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:10,599
Speaker 4: Make it seventy five.

628
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So oh boy, it's gonna be fun seeing

629
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:19,400
him broke. I don't. I honestly, there's no way he's

630
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,960
gonna maintain a reality or real estate career.

631
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,759
Speaker 1: Stay married, people, stay marry. Treat your wives like such

632
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:29,960
shit that they hate you and want to divorce you. Okay,

633
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,680
let's get to doctor Rovi Hoffsepian can I can.

634
00:33:33,559 --> 00:33:35,599
Speaker 2: I just say it so my it's bolded here in

635
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:39,759
underline and this is true. We get to doctor fuckface

636
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,960
cunt ass of Sapien with Nia and Danny, and then

637
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,400
I just have a bunch of quotes where he says

638
00:33:45,519 --> 00:33:48,480
things and then it just says dash cunt, fucking bitch

639
00:33:48,519 --> 00:33:51,960
ass cunt. Yeah, like his he comes in, let's hear

640
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,599
what areas are bothersome? Is it everything you should never

641
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,400
speak ever at all.

642
00:33:58,759 --> 00:34:01,079
Speaker 1: I don't know if hoff set In is the Smith

643
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,720
of Armenia, but uh, I think I went to school

644
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,359
with his daughter, possible, possible.

645
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 3: His office is on Rodeo Drive, the exact place you

646
00:34:11,119 --> 00:34:13,199
do not want to go in and get any work done.

647
00:34:13,599 --> 00:34:15,639
Speaker 1: No, where do you want to get work done. You

648
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,599
probably want to get it done on will Sure.

649
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 3: Oh no, no no, there's plenty of good doctors you

650
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,719
can get out in like fucking see me Valley, like.

651
00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 2: The be there.

652
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,679
Speaker 3: Huh yeah. Yeah. So when I went in this is

653
00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,679
twenty five years ago, to get my double chin removed.

654
00:34:32,159 --> 00:34:34,800
I go in there and my consultation was like I go,

655
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,000
They go, what do you know? What's what's that? I go, Well,

656
00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:39,880
this double chin. I starve myself to death. I still

657
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,280
get this fucking double chin. My friends, my best friends,

658
00:34:43,599 --> 00:34:45,400
my nickname is no Neck because I don't have a

659
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,920
neck because I just my it's a big fat neck,

660
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,760
you know. Anyway, what can we do? And they said, uh, well,

661
00:34:52,119 --> 00:34:54,920
we should probably start working on your cheeks because there's

662
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:59,199
a lot of fat there too. Oh oh, I didn't

663
00:34:59,199 --> 00:35:00,280
even have a problem.

664
00:35:00,159 --> 00:35:02,119
Speaker 1: With that until you mentioned it. How much were were

665
00:35:02,119 --> 00:35:02,719
you out of there for?

666
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,760
Speaker 3: You're not going to believe this. So this is twenty

667
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,719
five years ago. I put dollars it was forty two

668
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,719
hundred changed my life.

669
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,280
Speaker 1: What did they do? Did they cut it all off

670
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,400
or did they suck it out?

671
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 3: They suck out underneath your chin, but they also remove

672
00:35:16,599 --> 00:35:20,000
the fat pack that's in there that collects the fat

673
00:35:20,199 --> 00:35:23,000
when you eat. It's called buckle fat. And they went

674
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,800
in through the back of my ears and pulled my

675
00:35:25,559 --> 00:35:27,000
fat out of my cheeks too.

676
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: Were you you were out right?

677
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 3: Yeah? And then I went to write eight in my roommate,

678
00:35:33,679 --> 00:35:35,719
let me get some Thrifties ice cream in there.

679
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about that amount of

680
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,519
anethesians in Siame Valley. I would want to be. I

681
00:35:45,519 --> 00:35:47,760
would want to be at least at the Beverly Center.

682
00:35:51,639 --> 00:35:52,800
That sounds snobby, but.

683
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:59,039
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Just really quickly.

684
00:35:59,079 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 2: While we're talking about doctors that say things because they

685
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,239
should be more careful with their words, Pat has not

686
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,639
forgotten his cheek fat. I had to get a bunch

687
00:36:07,639 --> 00:36:09,760
of knee surgeries when I was an athletic child, and

688
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,800
this was actually seventeen years ago, and as I was

689
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:12,920
leaving and would have.

690
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,559
Speaker 1: Been on the women's national team. I mean, she was

691
00:36:15,559 --> 00:36:16,519
that good? Is that right?

692
00:36:16,639 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 3: Yeah?

693
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,079
Speaker 1: She was really really good. Well, she was I believe

694
00:36:19,559 --> 00:36:21,519
she was at least going to go to college for it.

695
00:36:21,599 --> 00:36:25,519
But you know acls double ac L.

696
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:31,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know, no, like two years

697
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,440
with this lovely, lovely doctor who really was lovely and

698
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,360
he was a great doctor. And then as I was leaving,

699
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,320
he said, I came to him as a young athlete,

700
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,960
and I was leaving him as a robust young woman.

701
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,320
And in the two years I had gotten I mean,

702
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,840
I'd gained probably fifty five pounds.

703
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:51,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean it was robust, was and you

704
00:36:51,679 --> 00:36:55,000
were hearing fatty yeah, yeah.

705
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 1: Well robust is often a euphemism.

706
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 4: For what did you hear?

707
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:03,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, small, you came in here an athletic young woman,

708
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:08,360
and you're leaving a fucking mac truck. Good luck, good luck.

709
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:12,320
So doctor Roffie heads and he looks at Nea really quickly. Though.

710
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:17,639
Nia is so beautiful and her husband is a steampunk midget.

711
00:37:18,119 --> 00:37:20,719
Yeah no, he's not. He's not. He's not, he's not.

712
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,559
He's just and I don't mean to flame, you know what,

713
00:37:23,599 --> 00:37:25,880
I need to be more sensitive. There are short guys

714
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,760
out there, Lucky for you, though you're in your era. Okay,

715
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,159
nobody gives a fuck about guys. Anymore.

716
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 3: I think they do. She will divorce them eventually, Mary

717
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,159
a tall man, and she will not live in Santa Clita.

718
00:37:37,199 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: Well he is, I mean he's super steampunk. I mean

719
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:47,360
he's got these freaking these Blacksmith sunglasses on his v neck,

720
00:37:47,519 --> 00:37:50,719
and he's got these rip jeans and these these Chelsea

721
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,760
boots and I'm just like, what is going.

722
00:37:52,639 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 3: On here, Dylan, he's a voiceover artist, all right. I

723
00:37:58,519 --> 00:38:01,440
want to say this about him because it's hard to

724
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,679
figure out how this works. She was Miss America. This

725
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:08,639
is quite a gat Yeah. I think he makes her

726
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:13,599
feel safe. Yeah, where's he gonna go?

727
00:38:14,079 --> 00:38:17,119
Speaker 1: Safe? Would be knocking doctor Raffi out because he heads in,

728
00:38:17,199 --> 00:38:23,119
looks at Nia and throws up. No, oh my god,

729
00:38:23,159 --> 00:38:25,719
I'm so sorry. It's just there's a lot of work

730
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:30,280
to do. It's insane how gorgeous she looks like. Her

731
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,400
boobs look fucking sick as fuck. You know what I'm

732
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:33,960
talking about.

733
00:38:34,039 --> 00:38:37,800
Speaker 2: I mean, the little little steampunk is just sitting there,

734
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,760
just lovingly staring at his wife's lovely tit that has

735
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,000
just fed all of his children. Yeah, and then Raffi,

736
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,159
Raffy's safey snake fuck Kuntdash comes in and is like,

737
00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:49,119
so you're extreme. You got to cut it all off,

738
00:38:49,119 --> 00:38:51,280
you fat fucking Let.

739
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 3: Me tell you why I knew, doctor RAFFI was fucking

740
00:38:53,559 --> 00:38:56,239
full of shit. Yeah, when he said, do you mind

741
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,840
if I touch them? Uh, he was on those tatas

742
00:39:00,119 --> 00:39:03,239
fly on pool. He wasted zero time on that. And

743
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,079
I believe while he was touching her boobies, he he

744
00:39:06,119 --> 00:39:08,599
whispered in her ear. He said, I'll buy you. I'll

745
00:39:08,599 --> 00:39:10,320
buy you a house if you have sex with me.

746
00:39:13,159 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 1: You ever heard of Morton's. You can't afford it right now,

747
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,559
can you? All right?

748
00:39:18,519 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 3: Whartons Jesus was last note? I did look up the

749
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:29,519
business sixty reviews, fifty nine five stars, yeah, one three,

750
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,320
And doesn't you see that little slide there where it

751
00:39:32,599 --> 00:39:35,679
should just peek at the five star, just that little

752
00:39:35,679 --> 00:39:36,760
three star right there.

753
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,519
Speaker 1: Just yeah, we know that pin. So let's get to

754
00:39:39,559 --> 00:39:43,360
Studio Tattoo, Studio City Tattoo, where Ruby and I got

755
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,679
our tattoos of our beloved Saber who passed away in

756
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:50,519
a tragic drowning accident. This is the bitchest cuckiest thing

757
00:39:50,639 --> 00:39:54,079
Jason has ever done. And that is saying something, because

758
00:39:54,079 --> 00:39:55,239
that's all he really is.

759
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:59,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's there, get a ring tattoo under his wedding

760
00:39:59,639 --> 00:40:02,760
rings when he's out on the town and he forgets

761
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,199
it at home, Uh, it will still be there for

762
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,280
all the ladies that are fighting to get to him,

763
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,360
presumably because he doesn't want Janet to ever think she

764
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:18,039
doesn't own his balls, because he's a pussy pussy puss

765
00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:30,599
trying to cat. I'm sorry, where is it, Cat Amazons Azalia?

766
00:40:31,639 --> 00:40:35,280
Speaker 1: I think, Well, you know she had that one live

767
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:39,639
performance where she freestyled fire Man, fire Man. You know

768
00:40:39,679 --> 00:40:42,280
what I'm talking about? That tank the career pretty much.

769
00:40:43,599 --> 00:40:44,760
Ub Do you know what I'm talking about?

770
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 4: No, I do not.

771
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 1: You don't showing out? Well, Rubes, First, how's your tattoo?

772
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:51,559
Speaker 3: Is it?

773
00:40:51,679 --> 00:40:53,039
Speaker 1: Is it good? Is it getting worn?

774
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,119
Speaker 4: My tattoo is incredible And even if it was getting

775
00:40:56,119 --> 00:40:59,599
Warren Studio City tattoo gives you lifetime. Go get your touch.

776
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 1: On trick stopt.

777
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know what you think that tattoo conveys

778
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,440
to strangers, But Jason thinks that this tattoo might think people.

779
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,119
People might think he's a rough guy. That's what it's

780
00:41:12,159 --> 00:41:18,079
not mine. A tattoo. Tattoo sating on your chest. That's uh,

781
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,159
that's a tattoo that people start questioning.

782
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:24,679
Speaker 1: Well, let's take a listen to this. I can't believe

783
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:25,840
you guys never heard this.

784
00:41:30,519 --> 00:41:31,119
Speaker 2: I think.

785
00:41:35,519 --> 00:41:42,199
Speaker 1: Tiger molds. Tiger molds, molt really.

786
00:41:42,039 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 6: Start can't victor bitch and did like, don't like this, win.

787
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,679
Speaker 4: Win win now, window win now your.

788
00:41:59,239 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 6: Coaches gimmage.

789
00:42:00,039 --> 00:42:29,039
Speaker 1: That's get around. Whoa, that's pretty crazy. Huh. Oh my god,

790
00:42:30,119 --> 00:42:34,000
Taia maw, taia maw. I don't think she said a

791
00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:39,639
fucking single thing. I mean, not one word, just noises.

792
00:42:42,679 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 3: That's why she's not around anymore.

793
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,039
Speaker 1: That's why she's not around anymore.

794
00:42:45,079 --> 00:42:48,559
Speaker 3: Okay, so he's basic. Janet's basic. It's all basic.

795
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 1: This made me want to throw up when she goes,

796
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,079
I've never heard you say the F word before. Do

797
00:42:55,119 --> 00:42:58,039
you guys have people under the floorboards that are living

798
00:42:58,159 --> 00:42:58,480
right now?

799
00:42:59,599 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 4: Okay?

800
00:43:00,519 --> 00:43:03,079
Speaker 2: This was when this came out of her mouth and

801
00:43:03,199 --> 00:43:05,719
then they laughed. I thought to myself, and this is

802
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,760
your husband is gay. I don't think that you two

803
00:43:10,199 --> 00:43:13,440
have ever actually had sex, and if you have, do

804
00:43:13,599 --> 00:43:16,360
it better. The fact that you've never heard him say

805
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,760
the effort ever have you? Has he stubbed a toe.

806
00:43:19,079 --> 00:43:21,719
What is his reaction when things go wrong? What is

807
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:22,559
his curse word?

808
00:43:22,679 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: It's not so bananas. But the crazy thing about this

809
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,800
is that they chalk this up to, you know, this

810
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,800
has sick these two puppies. Are they chalk it up to,

811
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:38,360
we're doing this to double down on our eternal lover

812
00:43:38,519 --> 00:43:40,679
and dying love and are and dying commitment to one another.

813
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,280
And that's not what it's about at all. It's about

814
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,199
winning a reality TV row. Is that the word row?

815
00:43:46,679 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 3: Yeah?

816
00:43:47,159 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's why they're doing it. They're doing it

817
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,440
to win an argument. I mean, am I off base there?

818
00:43:53,559 --> 00:43:53,679
Speaker 2: Now?

819
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: They're so into this storyline.

820
00:43:56,599 --> 00:44:00,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're the only people into this storyline. No one

821
00:44:00,199 --> 00:44:02,400
else gives a shit. And by the way, I'd say

822
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,119
this to any listeners or fans of the Valley that

823
00:44:05,199 --> 00:44:07,199
want her off the show. She absolutely will not be

824
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,480
off the show. She's horrible and that's what they want.

825
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 1: Well, listen, I feel for Janet because she's getting a

826
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,639
lot of online abuse and and you know, we've we've

827
00:44:17,039 --> 00:44:19,920
you know, been on the side of the you know,

828
00:44:20,039 --> 00:44:21,599
the wrong side of that. I mean, the other day

829
00:44:21,679 --> 00:44:26,360
somebody wrote the semite is balding. I mean, my god,

830
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:32,159
so I get it. Yeah it was me. But also, Janet,

831
00:44:32,199 --> 00:44:34,679
don't be so awful and people will you know, there's

832
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,880
there will still be time but to be awful where

833
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,159
the audience will still have your back.

834
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,599
Speaker 3: Jack's actually mastered that for several years.

835
00:44:41,639 --> 00:44:43,639
Speaker 1: Well not anymore. Let's get to Nia and Kristen. I

836
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,800
know Kristin likes Nia. I think she may want to

837
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,440
slit her throat when she's talking about fourth kid or

838
00:44:48,559 --> 00:44:51,800
lightpo in front of her, you know what I mean.

839
00:44:52,679 --> 00:44:54,440
It's yeah, it's a little tough.

840
00:44:55,199 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 3: Daniel is well sorry, I did want to move on

841
00:44:58,519 --> 00:45:03,400
for so Nia it's her bad back or a fucking kid. Yeah,

842
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,719
and she wants to look like Danny with his Greek

843
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,679
god body A direct quote from her before she spends

844
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,440
money on new milk jugs. I think she needs a

845
00:45:13,639 --> 00:45:14,639
fucking eye exam.

846
00:45:15,119 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's he the god of Roly Polly's j is

847
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,039
fucking christ Man?

848
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:22,559
Speaker 3: What is she seeing that we're not?

849
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 2: I bet you when he's shirtless after he doesn't drink

850
00:45:26,519 --> 00:45:29,239
for like probably four days, he's pretty cut.

851
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:29,679
Speaker 3: Yeah.

852
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:33,039
Speaker 2: And I also think that Kristin and Luke living in

853
00:45:33,119 --> 00:45:35,760
a home with nothing no art, not one thing that

854
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,000
I've seen on the walls except for a massive piece

855
00:45:38,079 --> 00:45:41,920
that says do it for the plot is good for them.

856
00:45:42,119 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 1: Yep. All right, so let's get to the real stuff.

857
00:45:45,519 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 5: This was udly.

858
00:45:47,679 --> 00:45:51,800
Speaker 1: Jack's head's over. Brittany is telling the nanny to take

859
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:52,639
the child away.

860
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,199
Speaker 4: Can I Can I say something?

861
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:55,519
Speaker 1: Yep?

862
00:45:56,239 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 4: And I mean this. Zulie is one of the best people.

863
00:46:04,519 --> 00:46:07,519
Speaker 2: In Cruse's life, and I believe that her and Brittany

864
00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:11,480
together have basically been parenting this child because she's been

865
00:46:11,559 --> 00:46:13,920
around since he was very, very little. And I just

866
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,360
want to take a moment for Zuli because cruz really

867
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,360
seems to like Zulie is crazy.

868
00:46:18,519 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 1: And I say, you know, I feel protective of Zulia.

869
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,960
I don't really like the way that Britney speaks to Zuli.

870
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 2: I think that Zuli understands Brittany is really stressed out,

871
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,039
and Zuli probably like always talks to her friends on

872
00:46:31,119 --> 00:46:33,239
her way home about how fucking crazy Jax is and

873
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:34,480
how the girl needs to leave him.

874
00:46:34,599 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 4: And now she's like, good for you, Brittany.

875
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I want Brittany to think that she was

876
00:46:39,199 --> 00:46:41,480
better than Zuli in any way, shape or form, because

877
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:46,519
Brittany is addicted to beans and bad men. So like, what.

878
00:46:48,159 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 6: Her?

879
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, her, she has stupid tits. She opens her fridge.

880
00:46:52,639 --> 00:46:55,079
There there are so many sauces in there.

881
00:46:57,039 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 4: It was insane.

882
00:47:01,039 --> 00:47:05,599
Speaker 1: Holy shit. At the end of the day, like corn

883
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,840
is corn. You can only put so many sauces on it.

884
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,960
You know what I'm talking about? All right?

885
00:47:11,159 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 3: So the shot fired was how many's annexts?

886
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 4: Are you?

887
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 3: Yes that, I was like, whoa, We're gonna go there? WHOA? Okay,

888
00:47:21,159 --> 00:47:24,800
hopefully calling the father of your son a drug addict.

889
00:47:25,039 --> 00:47:25,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

890
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:31,800
Speaker 2: Well when his response, pat is I've never taken any ever. Yeah,

891
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,320
you know, I think that's why we do these things.

892
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:38,519
Speaker 1: No, she really reads him? Is that right? Is it?

893
00:47:38,599 --> 00:47:39,360
The is that it?

894
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 4: H And he she looks like he's going to Easter service.

895
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: Yes he does. He looks like he's going to a

896
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:46,519
egg hunt.

897
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of friends with dependency problems on drugs.

898
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:54,199
One friend in particular, whose shall remained nameless. I literally

899
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,880
watched Cocaine because I've never been into cocaine. I just

900
00:47:57,039 --> 00:47:59,679
it doesn't do it for me. But this particular person

901
00:48:00,079 --> 00:48:03,440
basically destroyed his entire life with his addiction to cocaine

902
00:48:03,599 --> 00:48:07,159
rolling it into his forties. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we're

903
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,639
we're a powerful drug.

904
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:13,039
Speaker 1: We're we're. We can get there pretty easily. We get

905
00:48:13,159 --> 00:48:19,599
into oh well, Jack's Jacks refers to his son as medicine. Again,

906
00:48:21,159 --> 00:48:25,760
that's not what I take your point, but like, it's

907
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:30,800
such an uncanny thing to say, right, because the child's

908
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:34,719
a child, not a prescription. Right. So the fact that

909
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,039
he's said it multiple times and he's landed on this

910
00:48:37,199 --> 00:48:39,280
thing like it sounds good and I'm gonna keep saying

911
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,280
it is really really disturbing. And then we get to

912
00:48:42,559 --> 00:48:49,760
the alimonyum medical bill, and this is nasty. Uh, this

913
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,719
is going to be a brutal divorce. He loves his son,

914
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,199
but he just doesn't think that he can argue anymore.

915
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:59,639
It's amazing. Jack's rope is pretty short. He's like, you

916
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,400
know what, I love cruise, but I can't do this.

917
00:49:04,119 --> 00:49:08,000
I've got fucking impressionable twenty one year olds to destroy

918
00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:09,599
it with my cock.

919
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 5: Yeah.

920
00:49:10,039 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, this was every male in the seventies, actually, right,

921
00:49:15,079 --> 00:49:17,480
you know, right, you give me a little too much lip.

922
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:22,960
I'm moving to Florida. I'll drop a Christmas card off

923
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:23,440
once a year.

924
00:49:23,599 --> 00:49:24,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.

925
00:49:25,199 --> 00:49:29,119
Speaker 2: When he sits down seemingly exasperated and says, every time

926
00:49:29,159 --> 00:49:30,239
I come over here, you're.

927
00:49:30,199 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 4: Just mean to me.

928
00:49:31,639 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 3: I was like, you know.

929
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,119
Speaker 2: He and again when there was a beautiful moment in

930
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:39,480
this screaming match when he was like, you can't expect

931
00:49:39,559 --> 00:49:42,920
me to give you custody and then pay bills, and

932
00:49:43,039 --> 00:49:43,639
she goes, what.

933
00:49:43,679 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 4: Do you think support is?

934
00:49:45,199 --> 00:49:49,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing. Well she it really balls out and

935
00:49:50,679 --> 00:49:57,960
ends with the kind of tearing of trauma that he

936
00:49:58,079 --> 00:50:00,199
cannot experience compared to her.

937
00:50:00,599 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 3: There was one other line that was really important. She

938
00:50:03,119 --> 00:50:06,559
had said that it's something that as a man with

939
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:08,679
nerve endings, you'd never want to hear. Said, I don't

940
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:11,480
want our son to be like you. Yeah, yeah, that

941
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:17,000
is uh that means you failed. Oh yeah, yeah, sorry,

942
00:50:17,199 --> 00:50:18,159
I just want to get there.

943
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 6: No.

944
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 4: She followed it up with and you should want the

945
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:21,360
same thing.

946
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,199
Speaker 1: Oh brutal, and Pat and I were talking about it

947
00:50:24,199 --> 00:50:26,039
before the MIC's heated up, like it's so important to

948
00:50:26,039 --> 00:50:29,760
have good relationships with your children because it's so hard

949
00:50:30,039 --> 00:50:33,039
to be a parent. Like, think of all the sacrifice.

950
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,440
I mean, not that Jack's made its under sacrifices, but

951
00:50:35,559 --> 00:50:39,440
even for Jackson was probably pretty tough to bring Cruise up.

952
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:43,440
Who's now three or four? Now, Like, what did you

953
00:50:43,559 --> 00:50:46,239
do all that all those years for? Like it's all

954
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:47,199
old fucking waste.

955
00:50:48,639 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 3: This is me just talking out of my ass. I

956
00:50:50,519 --> 00:50:52,199
don't think he did a lot of child rearing, and

957
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:57,199
I think they hired is it Zulia? And I think

958
00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:00,519
it was probably the bulk of the child care was

959
00:51:00,559 --> 00:51:02,519
on those two and he was out doing whatever.

960
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 1: The he wanted to do. Honestly, gross pick Get in

961
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,159
the comments let us know what you thought about the episode.

962
00:51:07,199 --> 00:51:08,920
Five stars, kind of board showing us to patreon dot

963
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:13,239
com Slash another podcast network for real Housewives of My Yummy.

964
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:15,800
We love you guys very much. Have a great rest

965
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,519
of your week. I'm doing Say goodbye, pat say goodbye,

966
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,760
and Ruby bye bye.

967
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:35,079
Speaker 6: He is