WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:06.280 Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Broadcast. 2 00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:09.759 If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn. 3 00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:13.160 With your host, Corey Winfield, you know how you know 4 00:00:13.279 --> 00:00:15.119 fish is bad if you can't put it on pizza. 5 00:00:15.240 --> 00:00:18.640 It's a special guest. Mitchell, I really hate to do 6 00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:21.079 listen to you guys, but I really have to go 7 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:24.879 to somewhere. Dad, I just like can't hold it anymore. 8 00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:26.920 Got your wab? 9 00:00:28.239 --> 00:00:29.600 Yes, I did. 10 00:00:30.519 --> 00:00:33.399 It is the twenty first of March twenty twenty five. 11 00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:37.200 My name's Corey Winfield, and Mitchell is not here, obviously, 12 00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:40.479 and neither's Corey Smoker obviously. 13 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:44.119 But Adam Nuth is here. Adam, how are you doing? Man? 14 00:00:44.200 --> 00:00:46.679 I'm doing great, Corey, thanks for having me on to Yeah. 15 00:00:46.679 --> 00:00:47.840 I'm so glad you came in today. 16 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:50.960 You're going to be one of the speakers next week 17 00:00:51.079 --> 00:00:53.320 or actually this coming Thursday. I guess you could say 18 00:00:53.320 --> 00:00:57.399 now for Recovery Stories, Message of Hope Part five, and 19 00:00:57.439 --> 00:01:00.719 you're gonna be telling a little message of hope. Actually 20 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:02.159 you're gonna be telling you a story my bad. 21 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:05.480 I was gonna say, yeah, whatever you need, I. 22 00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:06.480 Will do nice. 23 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:09.200 Yeah, and you've been on the podcast before. I think 24 00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:11.920 this will be your third time or fourth, third or 25 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:14.400 fourth or anything like that. Remember you did one from 26 00:01:14.439 --> 00:01:16.920 the mobile unit back in the day, and then you 27 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:20.000 were doing some stuff across the street and I think 28 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.599 you popped over into the podcast. 29 00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:22.519 So it's been a minute. 30 00:01:22.519 --> 00:01:24.920 But things have changed since you've been on, just from 31 00:01:24.920 --> 00:01:30.400 your personal life, they have. Yeah, you're now transitioning into 32 00:01:30.439 --> 00:01:31.599 a married life. 33 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:33.680 I am thank you very much. 34 00:01:33.959 --> 00:01:38.560 I was gonna say another another transition, but ah, but no, man, 35 00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:39.200 So how's it going? 36 00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:40.840 You're engaged? How that happen? 37 00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:42.959 Very carefully? 38 00:01:43.400 --> 00:01:45.280 A lot of duct tape, a lot of. 39 00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:48.280 Duct tape, you know, holding their hostage. 40 00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:52.159 Now blackmail pictures, and that's exactly it. No, it's a 41 00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:54.680 gift of recovery. Yeah, is what it is. 42 00:01:55.799 --> 00:02:01.480 You know, God, my higher power brought emmy into my life, 43 00:02:02.359 --> 00:02:07.400 you know, in recovery, in a job, through recovery, and 44 00:02:09.240 --> 00:02:13.759 everything lined up the way it was supposed to. And 45 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:18.280 I'm really blessed to say that we're scheduled to get 46 00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:20.479 married in October twenty six. 47 00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:21.199 Nice. 48 00:02:21.599 --> 00:02:24.840 Yeah, so you just got to be good until then, 49 00:02:25.240 --> 00:02:29.319 just have to be really good until that's exactly right. No, 50 00:02:29.560 --> 00:02:32.080 that's really cool, man, it's good to see people, like 51 00:02:32.120 --> 00:02:35.520 I said earlier, you know, in recovery, kind of get 52 00:02:35.879 --> 00:02:37.360 and I don't want to say get that life back, 53 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:40.560 because it's more than getting that life back. You're getting 54 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:43.960 life almost for the first time, and you know, getting 55 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:48.199 to experience everything in such a clear mind and making 56 00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:52.000 decisions based on stuff that you actually really want life. 57 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:53.840 And that's exactly right. 58 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:58.680 You know, I didn't know really what a healthy relationship 59 00:02:58.719 --> 00:03:03.319 looked like until I is in recovery, you know, and 60 00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:06.280 like I said, you know, the powers to be brought 61 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:11.080 Emmy into my life, who's an amazing woman that I 62 00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:14.560 probably don't deserve, you know, that is. 63 00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:19.680 Uh, well, yeah, that's just that's how I feel sometimes. 64 00:03:19.719 --> 00:03:22.639 You know, I'm very, very blessed to have her, and 65 00:03:22.719 --> 00:03:25.280 you know, I've just been able to, like you said, 66 00:03:25.319 --> 00:03:28.919 experience things for the first time in recovery. 67 00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:31.360 You know, a lot I've had a lot of first 68 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:32.520 with her. 69 00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:34.919 And then this is uh, you know, I've never been 70 00:03:34.919 --> 00:03:39.560 married before either, and I get to experience this all you. 71 00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:42.280 Know, with a this is a blank slate. 72 00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:45.840 I so this is all uncharted territory for me, you know, 73 00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:49.800 and it's it's super exciting and Uh, it's all. 74 00:03:49.800 --> 00:03:56.560 It's all a result of staying engaged in my recovery. 75 00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:01.599 It's awesome and you're gonna cry. I'm tearing up just 76 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:06.000 thinking about it because I think you're kind of like me, Well, 77 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:11.240 you're very emotional and being that day that you've. 78 00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:11.759 Never been married. 79 00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:14.680 I was never married until obviously I got married with Marnie. 80 00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:17.279 But like I kind of thought I was just going 81 00:04:17.319 --> 00:04:21.000 to die loan, you know, like they're here, here, I 82 00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:25.199 am in front of this woman who's just beautiful. I 83 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:28.560 never thought this day was even going to happen. And 84 00:04:28.600 --> 00:04:30.360 then you know, I started to say my vows and 85 00:04:30.680 --> 00:04:33.000 then I start, you know, choking up and tearing up. Dude, 86 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.800 to this horrible And it was kind of funny because 87 00:04:34.839 --> 00:04:38.199 like the first year, our first anniversary, I went through 88 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:43.279 and I transcribed my vows to her, and I did 89 00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:45.360 it on a cricket to where like it made him 90 00:04:45.399 --> 00:04:47.079 like in gold or whatever. But I put all the 91 00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:51.480 like the tearing up, choking up, you know, I put 92 00:04:51.480 --> 00:04:54.160 like all those little things in there, like because if 93 00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:56.040 you watch a video, you know, that's that's what it is. 94 00:04:56.079 --> 00:04:59.079 It's me like stumbling through because I'm about to cry. 95 00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:03.480 You know it was bad, but there's so many emotions 96 00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:05.240 going through our at least that were for me going 97 00:05:05.240 --> 00:05:07.240 through my brain, in my mind and my soul. Like 98 00:05:07.759 --> 00:05:10.879 I didn't know how to express it except for crying, 99 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:15.639 you know, like it was happy tears, you know, but yeah. 100 00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:16.399 That's exactly it. 101 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:21.600 And actually Emmy has never seen me cry, oh, in 102 00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:23.399 our you know, three. 103 00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:24.319 Plus years together. 104 00:05:26.639 --> 00:05:29.240 So she's been asking me like, do you do you 105 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:31.199 think you're gonna you think you're gonna cry? 106 00:05:31.240 --> 00:05:33.439 And her in this, you know, do you think you'll 107 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:35.639 see me walk in and start crying. 108 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:38.839 I have a feeling that if there's any time she's 109 00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:41.360 going to see me cry, that that would be it. 110 00:05:41.839 --> 00:05:44.480 I think you'll be able to hold it together when 111 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:47.959 you see her, because you're just gonna be like, Okay, wow, gorgeous, beautiful, 112 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:52.879 this is the most perfect day ever. But it's easy 113 00:05:52.879 --> 00:05:55.800 to hold together until you have to talk. That's I 114 00:05:55.800 --> 00:05:58.160 think that's when you'll start talking and you'll be like 115 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:01.839 and then you'll realize, shit, this is really happening. Like 116 00:06:01.959 --> 00:06:03.759 Corey's right, like, I'm going to cry now and there's 117 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:07.800 nothing wrong with it. Man, Like I said, they're good tears, 118 00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:11.600 right and it's just we get so overwhelmed. I tell 119 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:13.439 people this all the time. In early recovery, man, like, 120 00:06:13.639 --> 00:06:16.000 you're gonna cry those happy tears. And I remember telling 121 00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:19.399 Kim that, and I think you're familiar with Kim and 122 00:06:19.480 --> 00:06:19.879 I am. 123 00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:21.519 She was like what. 124 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:23.079 I was like, Oh no, no, it'll hit you like 125 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:25.279 you'll be talking about something and it'll be one of 126 00:06:25.319 --> 00:06:27.120 the best things that's ever happened in your life, and 127 00:06:27.160 --> 00:06:29.480 you're just gonna start bawling and you're not going to 128 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:31.839 know why, and you're gonna be like, this is weird. 129 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:34.199 I was like, but those are happy tears. And she 130 00:06:34.319 --> 00:06:36.240 came back in I don't know, it was a few 131 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:37.839 months ago. I think when she got to her place 132 00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:40.519 and she's like, oh my god, and she started like 133 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:43.160 doing like fan in her face, you know, and she's like, 134 00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:46.240 I just can't stop crying, you know, it's just it's 135 00:06:46.279 --> 00:06:48.439 so good. And I told her, I was like, it's 136 00:06:48.439 --> 00:06:50.399 those happy tears, you know, And she's like, I know. 137 00:06:50.519 --> 00:06:52.079 She's like I just don't know how to feel. 138 00:06:52.319 --> 00:06:53.839 I was like, I know. I think maybe because we 139 00:06:53.959 --> 00:06:56.240 mask it for so long, we mask all of. 140 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:58.720 Our emotions, that here we are hit with this good stuff, 141 00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:01.600 and then it's like, what do we do exactly? 142 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:02.360 It's overwhelming? 143 00:07:02.439 --> 00:07:05.519 Yeah, and we cry, you know, and which is great. 144 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:09.199 It's better than drinking or using again take a teer 145 00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:12.079 any day, yes, sir. But it's funny when it does 146 00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:13.800 catch through with that first time because it does shock 147 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:14.519 him because you're. 148 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:16.800 Like, why am I crying right now? I don't know? 149 00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:20.600 It's so good the best reason to be crying. 150 00:07:20.680 --> 00:07:23.439 Yeah, So if we haven't really went over the story 151 00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:25.240 that you're going to tell or what you're going to 152 00:07:25.319 --> 00:07:28.160 talk about, But do you have anything in mind? I 153 00:07:28.199 --> 00:07:29.879 don't why you don't have to go through it right now, 154 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:32.480 But is there like a moment in time that. 155 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:33.240 Stuck out to you? 156 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:36.040 Maybe it's this this marriage trip you're on, you know, like, 157 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:38.600 or was it something back earlier that you're going to 158 00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:39.120 talk about. 159 00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:45.480 You know, I had no idea what I signed up 160 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:48.639 for when I did beautiful. 161 00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:49.079 Agree to do this. 162 00:07:49.319 --> 00:07:54.160 I obviously I didn't know what you wanted me to 163 00:07:54.199 --> 00:07:57.600 talk about. I know you had briefly said like, oh, 164 00:07:57.639 --> 00:08:02.600 you can look over the other recovery stories, and I 165 00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:05.519 was just kind of going into this blind so that way, 166 00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:07.360 I didn't put too much thought into it. 167 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:10.120 I didn't want to overanalyze. 168 00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:12.920 And make cue cards and then forget my place and 169 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:15.800 you know, swear in front of families or whatever it 170 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:19.879 may be. I just kind of wanted to, you know, 171 00:08:19.959 --> 00:08:22.920 talk to you about it, to see like what kind 172 00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:25.079 of things other people had talked about, so that way 173 00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:29.360 I could just pick something from my recovery journey. Because 174 00:08:29.399 --> 00:08:31.319 as long as I'm doing that and sharing a part 175 00:08:31.319 --> 00:08:34.120 of my story and sharing from the heart, like, it's 176 00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:37.279 gonna be good, It'll it'll resonate with someone. If it 177 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:41.759 resonates with one person in there, That's that's all I'm 178 00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:44.840 looking to do. But recovery has never said no to 179 00:08:44.919 --> 00:08:47.240 me since I've been in it. So when you asked 180 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:48.840 me to do this, I didn't even know what it was, 181 00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:50.159 but I was like, I'm in Yeah. 182 00:08:50.399 --> 00:08:52.840 First I was like wait, wait, because You're like, what 183 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:54.559 day of the week is the twenty seventh, I'm like, 184 00:08:54.639 --> 00:08:55.960 does your phone I have a calendar. 185 00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:57.600 I was like, Adam doesn't want to do it. I 186 00:08:57.639 --> 00:08:58.639 was like, Adam's not going to do it. 187 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:00.080 As I can just tell it, Adam's not going to 188 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:02.360 do it, and then ask another person, I'm like that 189 00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:03.840 person will probably do it, but I was like, Adam, 190 00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:05.559 he was just like, well do the week? 191 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:07.399 Was it? Like? I was like, he doesn't want to 192 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:09.120 do it. I was like and I was like, has 193 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:10.320 he been to one? I was like, I don't even 194 00:09:10.360 --> 00:09:11.240 know if he knows what it is. 195 00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:13.559 And then it was weird because the other person was like, no, 196 00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:15.720 I can't do it, and you were like, absolutely, buddy, 197 00:09:15.759 --> 00:09:19.200 I'm in. And I'm like, okay, Well that turned exactly 198 00:09:19.240 --> 00:09:21.559 opposite how I thought it was going to, but it 199 00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:24.960 happened exactly how I think it was supposed to. We 200 00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:27.679 ended up having Nancy Dowe because Nancy said something to 201 00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:28.799 me at the last one, and she's like, you know, 202 00:09:28.840 --> 00:09:31.519 it'll be nice scry if we got some families up there. 203 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:34.039 And I started thinking about that and I was like, 204 00:09:35.799 --> 00:09:36.639 we probably should. 205 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:38.159 And then when the other person said no, I was like, 206 00:09:38.279 --> 00:09:40.399 let's just keep Adam. He can. He can be the 207 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:41.159 one telling the story. 208 00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:44.399 We don't need like four storytellers, like we really don't, 209 00:09:44.559 --> 00:09:47.679 you know, but let's bring the families in and that way, 210 00:09:47.720 --> 00:09:49.519 you know, we'll bring the families on and then we'll 211 00:09:49.559 --> 00:09:50.759 have Adam do it, and then we're going to. 212 00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:52.200 Have a surprise musical guest. 213 00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:57.679 Oh nice, Yes, it's not eminem. But the gentleman came 214 00:09:57.720 --> 00:10:00.159 to me and was like, hey, I like to wrap up, 215 00:10:00.200 --> 00:10:03.240 and here's a little something. They started just spitting these 216 00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:06.120 verses and they were about recovery and it reminded me 217 00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:10.120 of NF almost and I was like, dude, this is 218 00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:11.799 this was really cool and you just did it off 219 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:12.320 top of your head. 220 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:13.200 He's like, no, I wrote that. 221 00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:16.200 Oh so you got this memorized already, you know, like 222 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:18.200 and the other guy was like, oh, I got this 223 00:10:18.279 --> 00:10:21.960 beat for him, and absolutely, so after after you and 224 00:10:21.960 --> 00:10:24.240 then we're gonna have him get up there and do 225 00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:26.600 his thing, and then you know, do a little intermission, 226 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:30.159 very quick intermission, and you know, raffle some things maybe 227 00:10:30.279 --> 00:10:33.399 or I don't know what Marnie has planned for that, 228 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:35.519 but then you know, Jay Burton and Paul Mack are 229 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:37.639 going to come on. And both of them have been 230 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:41.080 around this area for for a few years, especially Jay, 231 00:10:41.080 --> 00:10:42.360 he's been around for a while. 232 00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:43.360 Let me, Paul has too. 233 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:46.480 But what they do is very key, very good so 234 00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:50.200 to what's happening in the area. So I think it's 235 00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:54.320 it's cool that the lineup is set. The family part 236 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:58.440 is just huge, I think, and especially because there's different 237 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:00.720 stages of recovery that come here that you got your 238 00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:02.919 early recovery, got long term recovery, you got family people 239 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:07.080 shown up to and to know that there's families out 240 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:09.960 there that are struggling. I talked to new people today. 241 00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:13.240 They're going to tell the family story and they were 242 00:11:13.279 --> 00:11:18.039 talking about how they're still not talking to their child 243 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:21.519 at this moment. And I'm like, wow, Like that's that's 244 00:11:21.840 --> 00:11:24.360 being vulnerable, you know, to get up there. And I 245 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:27.960 think that's a problem when people are trying to keep 246 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:29.679 it in the basement, like, oh, nothing to see. 247 00:11:29.480 --> 00:11:31.360 Here, there's no problems. Johnny's fine. 248 00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:34.639 When we talk about it and we say, Johnny's not fine, 249 00:11:34.799 --> 00:11:37.159 you know, and Johnny has mental health problems, you know, 250 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:39.960 and that's fine, But how do we get them the 251 00:11:39.960 --> 00:11:42.759 help that we need, you know, Like go through that 252 00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:45.120 story and it's not all sunshine and rainbows for us. 253 00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:48.120 It's not for family members either, definitely not. And to 254 00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:50.360 show those people that are in early early recovery, like 255 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:52.440 what you're doing does impact your family. 256 00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:55.200 You know. It took me a year to wrap it 257 00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:55.840 around my brain. 258 00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:57.720 I was a year clean until it finally hit me, 259 00:11:57.720 --> 00:11:58.919 and my mom was like, well, how do you think 260 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:01.039 I feel? You know, when we go to the story, 261 00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:02.519 you know you're talking about you're going to the store 262 00:12:02.519 --> 00:12:04.840 in northern Michigan. No one knows you are. That's great. 263 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:07.159 What about me? What about your sister when we would 264 00:12:07.200 --> 00:12:08.759 go to the store. You know, now it's different. Now 265 00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:10.639 my mom walks around want people to talk to her. 266 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:13.440 But back in the day, when people come up house, Corey, 267 00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:16.159 that's not question. She like to answer, Well, he's in 268 00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:18.080 treatment again, Well he's not doing good. I haven't talked 269 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:19.879 to him in a year, you know, Like it was 270 00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:22.200 never usually a good answer that she had to give, 271 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:24.799 and I never knew that I even affected her or 272 00:12:24.840 --> 00:12:28.399 my sister, you know. So it's like, oh, if we 273 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:30.279 can open some of these eyes a little earlier, maybe 274 00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:30.799 that'll help. 275 00:12:30.919 --> 00:12:31.080 You know. 276 00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:32.759 Does that mean they're never going to go to treatment again, 277 00:12:32.799 --> 00:12:35.720 they're going to get out and be No, it doesn't 278 00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:39.799 mean that, but at least they can be thinking about 279 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:42.000 their actions and how it really does affect other people, 280 00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:42.840 not just them. 281 00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:43.200 You know. 282 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:47.799 It's no, that's really important, Corey, that you guys are 283 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:51.240 featuring families like this. You know, I have the privilege 284 00:12:51.279 --> 00:12:55.200 of working with Nancy or office is one over from mine. 285 00:12:55.679 --> 00:12:59.320 I've been helping out with her family road to recovery, 286 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:04.080 like eight weeks course that she's been doing too, of course, 287 00:13:04.360 --> 00:13:09.759 and thinking about how our actions have impacted our families, 288 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:12.559 Like that's not something it's not a pleasant thing to 289 00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:14.360 have to to think about. 290 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:17.440 And it's stuff that the earlier in. 291 00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:20.639 Recovery, or even if you're before you're in recovery, like 292 00:13:20.679 --> 00:13:24.200 if you really hear like family members talking about this 293 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:26.919 and you take it to heart, like it could be 294 00:13:27.039 --> 00:13:31.440 that extra seed that's planted to get change started, you know, 295 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:34.559 in your life, or you know, after you're in recovery, 296 00:13:34.559 --> 00:13:38.480 and you're like, oh, man, like I never I never 297 00:13:38.600 --> 00:13:42.120 considered how my actions impacted my family because. 298 00:13:41.960 --> 00:13:43.799 When we're in the you know, in the grip of. 299 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:47.879 Addiction, like it's it's a selfish disease, you know, and 300 00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:51.000 to get outside of ourselves and start thinking about. 301 00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:54.360 Others, like that's part of the whole recovery process. 302 00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:59.000 Is like not not just thinking about yourself. And I 303 00:13:59.039 --> 00:14:00.879 think that's this is going to be a powerful way 304 00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:04.080 to do it, you know, And it's something that I 305 00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:06.279 didn't want to think about for the longest time, how 306 00:14:06.360 --> 00:14:09.279 my actions impacted my family, you know. And we were 307 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:14.600 just doing a group the other day for Nancy's program 308 00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:21.200 about building or rebuilding healthy relationships. We were talking about 309 00:14:21.240 --> 00:14:24.720 how once we're in recovery, our relationship with our family 310 00:14:25.320 --> 00:14:29.480 has to look completely different now because when we were 311 00:14:29.720 --> 00:14:32.200 in the grips of active addiction, like we didn't have 312 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:35.840 a healthy relationship with our family members. Nope, if you 313 00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:39.399 had a relationship at all. Yeah, so it's like re 314 00:14:39.960 --> 00:14:44.120 establishing a relationship, but it's it's going to look completely 315 00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:47.799 different now being in recovery. Like if you respect yourself, 316 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:50.960 you respect others, like getting your you know, this was 317 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:53.879 about the family members, like getting to a point of 318 00:14:54.440 --> 00:14:57.480 loving themselves and taking care of themselves enough to set 319 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:02.279 up a new healthy relationship too. Like the sooner people 320 00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:05.960 can hear about that from the family, the better. 321 00:15:06.159 --> 00:15:06.879 I think. So and. 322 00:15:08.600 --> 00:15:12.159 The dynamic that changes that you were just talking about 323 00:15:12.200 --> 00:15:14.039 between the well, this is a relationship I had with 324 00:15:14.039 --> 00:15:16.159 a family before, Like yeah, you didn't really have one. 325 00:15:16.600 --> 00:15:18.919 And then you come to this weird point of like, 326 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:22.799 well where do I fit into it all? And then 327 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:26.600 you kind of move forward with it. How you kind 328 00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:30.279 of wanted to go, I guess, but then, well, okay, 329 00:15:30.279 --> 00:15:31.519 here's what I'm trying to say is I talked to 330 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.720 a guy yesterday and he was telling me about his 331 00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:37.360 father and his relationship with his father. That he realized 332 00:15:37.399 --> 00:15:39.840 he had to take a step back, that he can't 333 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:41.799 really have a relationship with his father right now because 334 00:15:41.799 --> 00:15:45.039 for him, it's a very fragile state that he's in, 335 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:48.919 and the dad is more stern and this is how 336 00:15:48.919 --> 00:15:50.960 it's going to be some to do it this way, 337 00:15:51.120 --> 00:15:53.360 and that doesn't really work, you know, and it's just like, well, 338 00:15:53.399 --> 00:15:56.360 just don't drink today. Then you know, like does he 339 00:15:56.440 --> 00:15:59.759 understand what the kid's going through? And the kid doesn't 340 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:02.679 think so, And the kid wants to kind of take 341 00:16:02.679 --> 00:16:04.960 a step back, And I think that's a healthy thing 342 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:08.519 to do instead of forcing yourself into this fake relationship 343 00:16:08.559 --> 00:16:11.759 with someone. And like you said, you didn't really have 344 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:14.240 that relationship before, you know, because you were using and 345 00:16:14.879 --> 00:16:18.919 stuff like that. This, I guess that's normal people going 346 00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:21.120 through what were I mean, if there's normal people going 347 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:25.879 through addictions? Normal, Yeah, it's relationships disappear, you know, and 348 00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:27.679 you've burned down a lot of bridges and stuff like that. 349 00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:29.799 So it is one of those things that if you 350 00:16:29.840 --> 00:16:34.759 can be cognitive of like this is happening, what steps 351 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:37.679 do I need to do to protect myself early on? 352 00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:41.799 And that's not saying protect yourself from this damna that 353 00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:44.799 you did or the stuff that you created, but sometimes 354 00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:49.320 you do need that pocket of your self time, you know, 355 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:52.639 to heal, even before you take on any of the 356 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:56.039 I'm sorry's mom or I'm sorry dad, you know, like. 357 00:16:57.639 --> 00:16:58.639 You have to be well. 358 00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:04.640 Grounded to look through that past book of those memories 359 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:08.680 that you don't really remember, you know. And I think 360 00:17:08.759 --> 00:17:11.559 that the families will really help the people that are 361 00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:14.680 super early in recovery to just kind of put it 362 00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:16.759 in the back of their mind, like, Okay, I did 363 00:17:16.759 --> 00:17:20.640 some bad things too, and I'll deal with that at 364 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:23.079 the correct time, you know. And the one way you 365 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:25.519 can show people that you're sorry is to change. 366 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:29.440 That's the biggest that's the biggest way that people in 367 00:17:29.519 --> 00:17:33.640 recovery can say sorry without saying it. You know, we 368 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:37.960 were talking about that in group yesterday too. You know 369 00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:43.079 that family members may be looking for apology. I don't 370 00:17:43.079 --> 00:17:45.720 know about you, but when it came to saying sorry, 371 00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:49.240 my parents didn't want to hear that anymore. I said 372 00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:54.240 sorry so many times that those words were meaningless when. 373 00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:55.319 They came out of my mouth. 374 00:17:55.519 --> 00:18:01.240 So taking that time to step back evaluate, like what 375 00:18:01.279 --> 00:18:03.440 you want your life to look like as a person 376 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:07.920 in recovery, and you start changing for the better. Right, 377 00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:14.079 we're able to make living amends to our family long. 378 00:18:13.920 --> 00:18:16.640 Before we ever utter the words. 379 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:20.240 I'm sorry and actually mean it, right if we're carrying 380 00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:23.880 ourselves in a way that they've always wanted us to 381 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:27.200 or the way that we were brought up to be, 382 00:18:27.640 --> 00:18:31.720 you know, and we're not. We're not using uh, that's 383 00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:37.519 saying sorry without words in and of itself, and that's. 384 00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:39.400 That's what the families want, you know. That's what my 385 00:18:39.480 --> 00:18:41.440 mom wanted and my dad wants. That's what everybody wanted, 386 00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:44.480 you know. And they got to that point too where 387 00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:46.880 I realized, and you'll get to this point too, if 388 00:18:46.920 --> 00:18:49.359 you're in if you're going through it and you're struggling, 389 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:52.799 you get you will get to this point where you 390 00:18:52.839 --> 00:18:56.319 will even feel the stories don't even mean anything to 391 00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:59.519 you as you say them. You know, when oh sorry, 392 00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:01.599 Mom on the drink again, then I was like, why 393 00:19:01.640 --> 00:19:04.400 am I telling her sorry? I'm not you know, and 394 00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:06.480 then I realized at the end too, It's like then 395 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:08.119 someone might have said it to me, like you don't. 396 00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:10.960 Family members don't want to hear I'm sorry anymore. And 397 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:12.599 I'm like, yeah, that's true. 398 00:19:13.039 --> 00:19:14.960 You know. It's like they want to see it, you know, 399 00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:15.720 So show on it. 400 00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:18.279 Stop walking around telling people how sober you are, how 401 00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:21.200