Speaker 1: Rob, what's the best way to support this podcast?
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Speaker 2: You for listening.
Speaker 1: On today's Softcore History, we talk about the last line
Winston Churchill.
Speaker 3: The man who saved the United Kingdom. But we're not
talking about when he saved the United Kingdom. Now we
talk about his youth, his origin story. Half of it American,
the dirty half.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 4: Welcome to soft Core History.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Softcore History. I'm your host for the week,
Damn re Jester. Joined is always by Rob Fox, Hello
and special guest, returning guest Jack Mandeville.
Speaker 5: I think I'm like a fourth time. I'm about to
hit the fifth timer here.
Speaker 2: Maybe a five timer club pretty soon.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what are the benefits of that? Like S and
L they have like their own club, Like, what are
my benefits if I hit five?
Speaker 2: We should get them some sort of historical artifact.
Speaker 1: We just get you a jacket I'm in. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was gonna go online and try to find you
like a holy relic that was cheap, like a really
lesser Saints bone I could get for like twenty dollars.
Speaker 5: Uh. Coop introduced me to that website where you can
buy like Roman coins and stuff like that for real cheap. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a lot. It's a flooded market. People don't realize.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I mean they were around for a long time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of coins. Yeah, they find him, They
found Roman coins and like China and Indian ship.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, they made their way around a bit. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And by suit jacket, I mean chain Now that.
Speaker 5: Would be even better.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I can wear it on the show.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you have to, and you go to war
for us as well. Whenever we call our banners, you
have to answer.
Speaker 5: Oh, okay, what are the va benefits for that?
Speaker 1: They're not great.
Speaker 2: It's more of a feutal sounds about the same as
your current VA benefits.
Speaker 5: I would say, all right, all right, pay some bills.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, oh well I mean not home stuff. I'm
just saying, like, we'll throw some pills at you and
tell you to get out.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, yeah yeah, yeah, I'm at that age now.
We're all just take a pill over cocaine, that's for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We're also not even including the episode you produced, which
one is that if.
Speaker 2: We never won Real News with producer jack Maniville.
Speaker 1: You were just at the studio. You were sleeping, that's right,
and you were just like, I guess I'll run the boards.
Speaker 5: Yeah I made I did great. Yeah yeah, ive been
cast and crew. Yeah, building up that those IMDb credit.
Speaker 3: We need to get you on we all do something
special game show. We need to have a throwdown and
then yeah, we gotta get you and some We're doing
sketches now on the Patreon too.
Speaker 5: I know I have sketches, so yeah, can I can
I tell you you're it's my favorite Your Guys show
is my favorite history show. I have my routine. I
wake up at six, I get to work pretty fast.
And that way I can cut out to the pool
around two or three and I pop on softcore history
and and uh, I get educated.
Speaker 1: And we were saying, you look tan.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I spent I've spent a lot of time in this.
Speaker 2: I think. Isn't it your second favorite history show?
Speaker 5: Now? Who's number one? Oh? Well you okay, you're on
History show cause it's not a podcast though, it's just
me reciting a bunch of coca.
Speaker 2: But yes, as well, sounds that sounds like a podcast
to be.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if we could do this in fifteen minutes, I would.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's on.
Speaker 2: It's not out yet, but it's on YouTube, right Uh yeah.
Speaker 5: It's uh. We have four episodes in the can. We
will be releasing in late September ish. I just got
to get some logisticals stuff taken care of.
Speaker 2: And where's that going.
Speaker 5: It's gonna be on YouTube. It's gonna be under Jacked
History j A c k ed history jack jacked History. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Bang.
Speaker 5: You can interpret it a couple different ways, like jacked
is like extreme or jacked isn't like it's all missed up? Yeah,
both which I think. Yeah, yeah, I'd say I'd fall
more into the latter.
Speaker 3: History's fucked up inness is in fact jacked. Yeah, you
know what I mean, it's it's strong. History is strong
fucked upness.
Speaker 2: Yeaheah.
Speaker 5: And that's the thing is, I don't I'm not trying
to change the world by this. I just want to
give people something that they can tell their buddies at
the bar.
Speaker 2: Yes, so I did.
Speaker 5: I did want One of the ones I did was
on You know why, I think Christopher Columbus Day is
the most is the dumbest of all the federal holidays.
And it's not even because of the indigenous argument, which
that that's a fair argument, but it's the fact that
we know for a.
Speaker 1: Fact he didn't get here first.
Speaker 5: He was. He was second place by five hundred years,
technically way second place.
Speaker 2: Technically third potentially.
Speaker 5: There. Yes, the scant the two Norsemen that we give
credit to, uh, Eric the Red and Lee Erickson. Yeah,
there was another Norseman that was like fifty years ahead
of that.
Speaker 2: I'm not even talking about that. Uh.
Speaker 3: It's pretty much beyond a reasonable doubt now that Polynesians
hit South America.
Speaker 5: Oh the Kontiki thing, Yeah, yeah, that's true, that is true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Now, they I guess you could say, didn't maybe
know what they found, and I think.
Speaker 2: Neither did Columbus. Neither a Columbus.
Speaker 3: The Vikings had probably a better id. Oh actually, I'll
put it this way, because the Polynesians didn't stay right,
the Vikings set up a settlement for a little while.
Speaker 5: They were there for almost five hundred years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they, I guess could get more credit in
terms of like settling. Yeah, And technically, I guess the
Polynesian would be the fourth because there is really no
such thing as a Native American since none of they
are like nobody's from the America.
Speaker 5: They crossed that land bridge, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it used to just be owned by the deer.
Speaker 2: It did.
Speaker 3: And actually we did one of my favorite episodes we
already did that was mine was I just did a
whole history on everything the Native Americans wiped out when
they got here because the fauna that was in the
Americas prior to human arrival, it was a nightmare land.
Speaker 5: Everything was a giant good for dinosaurs, not good for people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: I mean it was like sloths, like bigger than shack, which.
Speaker 1: Would have been good for people because that's just a
lot of neat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they did. They hunted them into extinction. There were
they was like the American lion was like a super lion.
There was a grizzly bear or some type of bearing
that was like three X.
Speaker 1: I think we stopped there with the American lion. Okay,
that's a great transition for today's topic. We're talking about
an American lion.
Speaker 2: An American lion, half American.
Speaker 1: Half Americans. Find Yeah, Okay, Winston Churchill, you know this,
hear about this guy? You know he was American or
half American. His mom was American.
Speaker 5: Okay, A lot of a lot of a lot of
big names out there. People don't realize there they have
American moms. The the King of Jordan got an American
mom or no British, No, he's got an American wife.
Speaker 1: I don't know the yeah, yeah, the guy that runs
Jordan currently is half English.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Penetrating monarchies all over the world, being Grace Kelly, Oh yeah, right.
Speaker 5: Monico, that's every actress's dream.
Speaker 3: Obviously, Megan markle Is is fucking up the royal family and.
Speaker 5: She's doing what our founding fathers couldn't do.
Speaker 3: Why aren't there any conspiracy theories about that about Americans
destroying monarchies across the globe out of some like fucked up.
I mean, if we're in Jordan, we're in getting into
the British royal family, Monaco back in the day, we're
getting into uh uh funck. What was another one that
I can't remember now, but several Americans have ruined British nobility.
Speaker 5: Wallace Simpson with King Edward, Yeah yeah, yea yeah, she
almost brought that monarchy to its knees just by being
an American chick.
Speaker 2: That was divorced, just by bringing herself.
Speaker 5: Having having that good stuff. Can I say the P
word on the show? She had a good pussy, Yeah,
good American pussy.
Speaker 2: That goes both ways.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 2: You think in English accents hot, they think in American
accents hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, But Texans like they don't really like a
New York accent. Well why would you where a Boston
accents grow?
Speaker 3: That's like me saying a British accent is hot, and
then someone coming over like eh, I get that, Like
like that's not going to turn you on.
Speaker 1: They want you to come over and sound like a cowboy.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, well reckon, I'll I have an ale.
Speaker 5: Yeah you don't. You don't hear about Minnesotan's getting hitched
up by it?
Speaker 2: She wish.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Oh, by golly, this is a nice museum, you guy.
This guy over here.
Speaker 1: So Winstent Leonard Spencer Churchill was born in Oxfordshire to
his aristocratic families in his palace November thirtieth, eighteen seventy four.
He was the son of British parliament member Lord Randolph
Churchill and an American socialite Jenny Jerome.
Speaker 5: Uh oh, let me guess, Let me guess some her
dad was some sort of like ting magnet or something
like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a businessman.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, whatever that.
Speaker 2: Means in that time. What year was he born?
Speaker 1: Eighteen seventy four?
Speaker 3: Okay, So that's a little bit almost like early or
pre Gilded Age. So it's you're coming out of the
Civil War railroads.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's railroad time. It's not really like Rockefeller time. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: In eighteen seventy six, Winston's grandfather, John Spencer Churchill became
Viceroy of Ireland and the family moved to Dublin, where
his brother Jack was born in eighteen eighty. His parents
didn't have the best marriage, and it is believed that
his mother had several affairs with Milan the first of Serbia,
Prince Karl Kinsky. She had a type and Herbert von Bismarck.
Speaker 2: Oh, she made her way around Europe.
Speaker 5: M hm.
Speaker 1: She's a good time. She was a great conversationalist, very witty.
Speaker 3: She sounds actually like a chick because she has a socialite.
She sounds like a chick at like a Vegas cloud.
That's like waddy do.
Speaker 2: Like she'll And if you're like, yeah, I'm a music.
Speaker 3: Producer for Kanye West, like fucked, no problem, Like you're
getting laid. But if it's just like, oh, I got
a podcast, I work in media. In a podcast, it's
just just turned back, turns to you.
Speaker 2: Not a fucking word. You're not a human being.
Speaker 1: Why are you in the same room if you're a podcaster,
right exactly, you have no business being there in Vegas.
Speaker 2: Vegas isn't that it's expensive, but I wouldn't call it classic.
Speaker 1: I guess I wasn't thinking Vegas. I was thinking more New.
Speaker 2: York, relating a time that that happened to me. Where's
that one?
Speaker 5: Was?
Speaker 2: Like it was that some club in Vegas.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, she's like a bottle service girl.
Speaker 2: No, she's just there. We were in the same like, uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was off though she's still a bottle service girl.
Speaker 5: You should have just done what every bro does in Vegas,
just a lot.
Speaker 2: I should have. Yeah, yeah, I was like, oh right
for TFM.
Speaker 5: That's all right, right, international flights in Las Vegas, it's
just it's everyone pretending to be baller when they're not.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 5: How many times I've been on international flights and the
guy that's just decked out in all the design her
stuff is taking his bag back to seat forty five f.
Speaker 2: His coach all the yah. Yeah, but he looks the
part YEP.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of Persians getting the table and not
really having many women around.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I knew, uh, I knew a Muslim guy
that did a lot of cocaine and he never drank
because it was against right cocaine. But cocaine was never mentioned,
so he loved cocaine.
Speaker 3: Loophole loophole in there. I mean, he didn't know about cocaine.
How could how could Muhammad have known about cocaine?
Speaker 5: No, No, we were still years away. We're about we
were about what, nine hundred years away from discovering that
treat literally.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also, uh, I mean they never got rid. I don't
think they were ever against uppers.
Speaker 5: Really.
Speaker 2: They liked like hookah and stuff they smoked. Oh yeah, so.
Speaker 1: Has she has she assassins?
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's something I loved your assassins episode. By the way,
thank you.
Speaker 1: Neither of his parents raised the kids and relied heavily
on their nannies, most notably Elizabeth Everest, who Winston claimed
to be his best friend for the first twenty years
of his life before she passed away in eighteen ninety five.
Speaker 2: Because she was much older than him.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, his best friend was his nanny.
Speaker 5: That is who's your best friend growing up? My nanny? Yeah?
Speaker 2: That is some rich kids shit right there. I know that.
Speaker 1: So, just to set up this episode, we're gonna talk
about Winston Churchill up until he rises to power, until
he finally becomes prime minister. We're not going to talk
about World War Two. That's kind of been covered enough.
You know, watch your documentary if you want to see that.
Speaker 2: Go watch The Darkest Hour or whatever. This is the.
Speaker 1: Rise of the Line, this is Lion King. You know
you don't see what happens when Simba takes power.
Speaker 2: Lion King is not even as good once you get
to adult Simba anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you see the cub Simba. Yeah you want cub Zimba,
but this is cub Churchill.
Speaker 5: You gotta see the Hamlet part of it.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, not the deviates greatly from Hamlet after a while.
Speaker 5: I will stay. I will say though, those World War
two speeches that he gave, you could jerk off to
those things.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, which is crazy because that it he had
a huge stuttering problem.
Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of like the King too. They had that
in comverybody.
Speaker 2: But yeah, when the world comes with the rescue of
the old I'm just like, I don't think he was
fond of FDR not to derail this. I think he
gets into that a little bit.
Speaker 1: Maybe we cover a little of that at the end
because it's just a funny story, Okay, but I don't
really once he takes power, and you know, once World
War two starts, we stop. This is where the episode stops.
So this is all the preamble before that. Can I ask,
because it's my way, I think it's way more interesting.
Speaker 5: Do you think if you were to compare Churchill to
any American present that Roosevelt, Teddy Roosevelt would be the
best fit for Winston Churchill.
Speaker 1: Yes, and they meet, and we'll get to that. They
don't really care for each other.
Speaker 5: A reserved Englishman and a boisterous American.
Speaker 1: It's more just they're too similar. It's just two guys
that are essentially the same person not really getting down
with each other. It's like you're looking in the mirror
and you're not liking what you see.
Speaker 3: Did they meet when they were both secretaries of the Navy,
because didn't they both hold that position.
Speaker 1: No, so they met while Teddy was vice president. Okay,
and there's a little bit of an age gap to
Teddy at the times, like forty two and Churchill's twenty six.
Oh yeah, so maybe Teddy's threatened a little bit, you know, young.
Speaker 5: Buck coming up. Yeah, Oh no, he's got my energy. Bordie.
Speaker 1: Winston definitely had mommy issues. He would constantly write to
her during his childhood, craving her love and attention, which
she often ignored.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well his best friend was his fake mom. That
is the deepest. I mean, he only wake up with
worse if he fucked her.
Speaker 1: In his own words, she's shown for me like an
evening star. I loved her dearly, but from a distance.
That's kind of sad.
Speaker 2: It's not great.
Speaker 5: You always find out with these powerful families, especially like
European aristocracy, there's not a lot of hands on parenting
that goes on now, which.
Speaker 3: Is deeply fucked because as someone with children, children are
like especially little boy. I don't have a little girls,
so I don't know, but little boys are obsessed with
their mothers. Yeah, obsessed like my two year old and
my one year old.
Speaker 5: Well, they've been all up in that pussy longer.
Speaker 2: Than you have time served, no question, kind, I'm just
in it out not. I got stuff to do, like
I said.
Speaker 1: His mother was well respected in British high society and
best friends with Queen Alexandria, although she allegedly had an
affair with her husband, King Edward the Seven. This is
just what. Do not let her around your man, if
your power, your nobleman, don't let her around your noble man.
Speaker 5: Anybody that has a serve before their name.
Speaker 2: She's what I mean. So like you fuck athletes, your
cleat chaser, fucking actors, your star fucker, like what she's
like a crown fucker or is that like crownchaser crownchaser.
Speaker 5: Yah. Thing is like you can't really openly brag about that,
so you're only doing it for yourself. It's like your
own personal achievement that you are only getting to share
with yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And also like how does that make you feel powerful?
He's just blasting, loading you and then leaving.
Speaker 2: He's just like, God, got it's yes.
Speaker 1: You know what it is. That's the American in her,
that's manifest destiny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she just that is her being very American. She's
just taking what she wants.
Speaker 1: His father was habitually sick as long as Winston knew him.
He had a nagging case of syphilis that he caught
from one of the family's chambermaids. God damn, and was
out of his mind from the mercury based medicine that
was used to treat it.
Speaker 3: Perfect, perfect treat poison with poison.
Speaker 1: Also, that's a big stereotype though. It was like British
aristocrats that are older just being just loose cannons.
Speaker 5: I mean.
Speaker 2: Prince Albert right was the not Prince Albert who was
the guy who was suspected of being Jack the Ripper,
the actual nobleman, and he had syphilis.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know his name. I've been
I've been watching the Tutors lately, really getting on that
Henry Tudor on Yeah, Henry the eighth. Holy moly, that guy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Prince Albert, Prince Albert, Prince Albert Victor so not Queen
Victoria's son was like he wasn't, but he was thought
to be perhaps, uh, Jack the Ripper.
Speaker 1: I like Henry Tudor though, because he was kind of
waiting in the shadows, first chance to strike. Oh yeah,
before he took over the whole family. They were just
playing chess while everybody else was.
Speaker 5: They didn't laugh long though. No, you gotta have boys,
gotta have boys.
Speaker 2: Which he thought was the chicks fault. That was his
dumb They didn't know a better back then.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he was really quick to take him, take a
chop and block.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Randolph Churchill also suffered from multiple sclerosis and brain tumors.
Winston went to boarding schools but was not particularly the
best academic in his youth.
Speaker 2: All the goats aren't.
Speaker 1: He had a speech impediment a majority of his life,
struggling with the S and Z sounds.
Speaker 2: So you're like a lift.
Speaker 1: He had a little bit of a lisp.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Is that why they called him the bulldog because he
was all jowelly?
Speaker 1: I think so. Despite being known for his gallivant in speeches,
he was a noticeable stutter. Winston ultimately went the military
route at his father's request and got into the Royal
Military College in Sandhurst after his third attempt.
Speaker 2: How can we be sure his father wasn't just insanely
yelling things like alone, I love you if you kill
a Zulu and he's like, oh fucking war.
Speaker 5: No, he was.
Speaker 1: He was out of his mind.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying. What if his
father was just shouting crazy shit.
Speaker 5: Sounds like he had daddy issues too.
Speaker 1: Who's the old guy in like The Watchman? That's what
I imagine.
Speaker 2: Oh the Jeremy Irons character uh osumandis.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I imagine that's what his dad was like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just like scuttling about alone in a castle, plotting
things that would never happen, so he.
Speaker 1: Gains the entry. After his third attempt into the Royal
Military College, Winston was accepted as a cadet in the
cavalry in eighteen ninety three. His father would pass a
mire two years later in January of eighteen ninety five.
Just a month later, Winston became a second lieutenant in
the Fourth Queen's Own Hussar's Regiment of the British Army
Hungary for Action. Winston used his mother's political influence to
post himself to an active war zone in Cuba in
the fall of eighteen ninety five.
Speaker 5: The political influence she got by banging.
Speaker 2: It's what yeah, what else could she?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: My son really wants to go to Cuba. Can you
make it happen?
Speaker 2: She's just like Forest gumped her son and yeah, a
war in Cuba.
Speaker 5: Sounds like Alexander the Great's mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, yo, mama showed care about you fighting a
war in Cuba, son.
Speaker 2: What would the British do in Cuba?
Speaker 1: Observing?
Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So this was pre Spanish American War eighteen ninety five.
This is the Spanish American War. He and his or I
guess Cuban Revolution.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: He and his friend Reggie Barnes initially went to observe,
but came under fire for the very first time while
tagging along with these Spanish troops against the Cuban revolutionist
on his twenty first birthday. Oh so they the first time, Yeah, yeah,
the first time he ever got like under came fire.
Speaker 5: It was his birthday, so and so we were happy
birthday to you there when uh wait, so we were
still on a proxy war with the British all the
way into the Spanish American War.
Speaker 3: I guess they were on the Spanish side. I think
the British at that time. In fact, I know the
British at that time, were they as much as anyone,
were fighting to keep the status quo intact right right,
Like the whole the whole sick Man of Europe thing
with the Ottoman Empire, and like the Crimean War, was
thought completely to keep the status not let Russia get
too powerful. And I think they also not didn't want
to let Spain get too weak. I think they knew
the United States was going to move in on anything
Spain couldn't hold in the New World, and they didn't
want Russia to move in on anything that the Ottomans
couldn't hold. So, I mean the British and I think
to a lesser extent, the French were scrambling to keep
like just I think they wanted to prevent a world
war and I think they just wanted everything to stay
as normal as.
Speaker 5: It could, keep the Kings in power.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you know, not everyone was happy with
the arrangement.
Speaker 1: But again he was not with like British troops, like
a whole regiment. It was just him and his boy
going to observe and kind of take it in. But
you know, sometimes you just want to get in on
the action.
Speaker 5: Yeah, pick up a rifle when you're young.
Speaker 1: And did he Yeah, only spend a couple of weeks
in Cuba. He would then go on to serve the
next year in Bombay and spend nineteen months in India
with the Hussars. He began reading the works of Plato,
Edward Gibbons, Charles Darwin, Thomas Thomas, Babinton McAuley, and British
the British Political Almanac, the Annual Register. So that's how
he got into politics. He wasn't religious, but he preferred
Protestants over Catholics, well, believing they were more reasonable.
Speaker 5: From I don't know, if you get into it later.
He actually had a ranking system. He's kind of a racist,
and he had a ranking system, but when he got
to the whites he had he was not fond of Catholics. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I believe that also, you know, I didn't believe in
Irish freedom.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I imagine if you are British you might, and especially
if you grew up in Dublin with your dad being
in charge of maintaining that brutal rule, you might from
that angle be like, these people are fucking crazy.
Speaker 5: And they weren't even doing the bombings yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: During his twenties, he declared himself a liberal and everything
but name as he could not get down with the
Liberal parties support for Irish home rule.
Speaker 3: Okay, so he's like, this is one deal breaker and
it's letting Ireland be free. I The funniest part about
that is is that I'm just like, what resources were
you even extracting from Ireland? I guess other than just
human caber?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like other.
Speaker 3: Than just a taxes And maybe that's enough, or maybe
you just didn't want something that close to your backyard
being influenced by anyone.
Speaker 5: But you we know it wasn't potatoes as no no.
Speaker 1: In eighteen ninety seven, he requested to join General Bindon
Blood's campaign in Northwest India against mom Man rebels. General
Blood accepted under the condition Churchill went as a war journalist.
This was the beginning of Winston's writing career.
Speaker 2: Okay, so he was like JD. Vance kind of.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh, you gotta write yourself a book. You got
you gotta write yourself a book to get into politics.
That's how Obama became president.
Speaker 2: That's how Bernie got big, That's how I mean everybody, right,
But Churchill.
Speaker 1: Wrote a lot. There's a lot of books under his name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Ironically, there was also another American writer named Winston Churchill
who also published his first book in eighteen ninety eight, Sick.
He went on to have six best selling books of
his own, but ultimately he is the lesser author.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, man, that's a tough one.
Speaker 5: How many sales do you think he got? Because both
of them got because they did, they got.
Speaker 2: The wrong one.
Speaker 1: Like, it's a tough beat for that guy, though, Yeah,
I've just forgotten the history.
Speaker 2: But also, back.
Speaker 3: Then, books don't have, you know, big flashy covers. No,
it's literally just a blank cover with a name and
a title on it.
Speaker 5: You couldn't rely on the art to get just a
few extra sales.
Speaker 2: No, no.
Speaker 1: British. Winston turned write and often to deal with his
recurring battles with depression that he referred to as his
black dog. We have a black dog in the studio.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Bronkie boys poetics.
Speaker 1: Although he's he's a he's a happy buddy. Yeah, he's
a happy boy.
Speaker 5: This guy's a Tampa Tampa special.
Speaker 1: I wish he was on camera. We need to get
him on. Like you said, the only way to grow
this channel is with.
Speaker 5: Dogs and chick dogs and have a lot more female
guests on.
Speaker 1: He he popped up, maybe I'll show some more for
cleavage or something. Yeah, get that gay audience. There we go.
There it is Jack. We got, we got boobs.
Speaker 2: Look at Jack good nipple size. Thanks.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I got him from my mom.
Speaker 1: In eighteen ninety eight, he made his way to the
Sudan attached to General Kitchener for the Morning Post.
Speaker 2: So now he's his full time rider, basically put in
the military.
Speaker 5: See Dan's pretty desert desert is right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so it is.
Speaker 1: It's Middle Eastern. It's believed this is where his fascination
with Islam started. He was critical of it in his
book about this tour the River War. But Grid become
more and more interested in Islamic culture as he got older.
Speaker 5: I feel like Catholics.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. He would often dress an Arab
garbed in private.
Speaker 2: What he was religious cross dressing.
Speaker 1: He he flirted with Islam so much that his family
got concerned that he would convert.
Speaker 2: That's really funny.
Speaker 3: It'd be funny if he had secretly convert, like he
was like a deathbed conversion just to get into heaven
or whatever Islamic heaven is.
Speaker 5: What? What what drew him to Islam? Because I mean,
I've spent a lot of time in the Middle East.
I'm fascinated by islam history myself, but I've never entertained
the idea of becoming Muslim.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: He just read the Quran and liked it.
Speaker 5: Oh, okay. I read the Book of Mormon once for pussy.
Speaker 2: Did it work?
Speaker 1: Uh? Like the screenplay?
Speaker 5: No, the the actual I have a copy of the
Book of Mormon. Yeah, did it work though? Uh? No?
Speaker 1: Well you soaked right? Nobody jump on the bed.
Speaker 5: No, just blow jobs?
Speaker 2: Okay, it works, I'd read the book.
Speaker 5: The worst kind of religious person is not someone that's
been consistently religious. It's someone that dropped out and then
finds it again. Oh yeah, they're the ones that are
That's what I was dealing with.
Speaker 1: A reconvert.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is as bad, like he says, no zella
like a convert. But yeah, someone who re comes back
to it is.
Speaker 5: You look at all the Islamic extremism. That's always the case.
They dropped off from it and then they got really
back into it again, and that's when they.
Speaker 1: Know they have to like overcompensate. Yeah, all of a
sudden they miss you.
Speaker 3: Do you see a lot with dudes here like in
America now, I feel like they like find Christianity in
their late twenties, early thirties, and they just.
Speaker 5: They go hard, go with But if you grow up
in it and you consistently just stay it, then you're
just normal about it.
Speaker 2: Right right, right, Yeah, it's exhausting.
Speaker 1: After publishing The River War in eighteen ninety nine, he
decided to leave the Army, denouncing the actions of Kitchener's
treatment of wounded enemies and the desecration of the tomb
of Muhammad Ahmed, a suit in these Feet freedom fighter
who died in eighteen eighty five.
Speaker 2: I was about to be like what they fucked up
Mohammed's tomb.
Speaker 5: For a guy that hated so many people so much,
he had a lot of empathy for Muslims in North Africa.
Speaker 1: A lot of them Middle East too, I bet you
he was.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: Napoleon was really big on Muhammed.
Speaker 3: People used to give Mohammed more flowers and the islam
Islamic early Islamic more flowers for conquering half the world.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Like Napoleon thought Muhammad was one of the best generals ever.
Speaker 5: And he got a late start too, right, he didn't
start that, tell you. He was like in his thirty
late thirties, forty. He was not young, He wasn't. Jesus
was pretty young when he started his his preachings.
Speaker 2: Jesus was only thirty when he started. He only did
it for three years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of people don't know that Jesus was
a conqueror. He took his twelve men and they just
they burned down towns. It's not reported in.
Speaker 2: The Bible killing with kindness. Actually, that's where the.
Speaker 1: Saying comes from. Yeah, yeah, people dropped dead. He did
kill a tree, killed a couple things.
Speaker 2: Did he kill the table? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he didn't. He kill a couple of people
as a child and then brought him back to life.
Speaker 2: I forget what I did that at the part.
Speaker 1: No, he had a temper, he was. Well, that's why
they don't report on young Jesus.
Speaker 3: Is this real lost gospel of young Jesus kind of
like killing animals and stuff?
Speaker 1: What the people like Joseph had to put out.
Speaker 5: A lot of fires.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that Jesus started to give a toddler the powers.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so all the peace and love stuff came from
over compensating basically.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he found it late in life.
Speaker 1: That's why they don't really start the Jesus story until
his thirties because they have to figure things out.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, where's like a normal person's like, yeah, well,
I didn't kill five people when I was a fucking toddler,
So yeah, I don't have to lean into it like you.
Speaker 5: I'm just an insurance salesman for Peter Rapids.
Speaker 1: In eighteen ninety nine, after the outbreak of the Second
Boer War, Winston went down to South Africa for the
Morning Post. While traveling, his trained derailed from artillery shell
and he was captured as a prisoner of war. So
he was a South African boer prisoner of war. What
year was this, eighteen ninety nine?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: In December he was able to escape his captors by
hobo hopping on freight trains, walking through the brush, and
hiding in the mine before ultimately reaching Portuguese East Africa,
which is now known as Mozambique.
Speaker 5: I was gonna say, as I would imagine you stood
out a little bit as a pudgy white guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, I feel like that skips the most important
part of the escape, which is how do you get
out of the cell or whatever?
Speaker 5: He was in? It was like a work camp and
through like a bathroom window, didn't he.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a school, okay.
Speaker 2: But I'm just saying like the hardest part of escaping
is the first part.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: After that, it's you know the too.
Speaker 5: If you see a white guy running in todaan, he's probably.
Speaker 1: Up to know he's escaping South Africa.
Speaker 2: Either way.
Speaker 5: Oh, in South Africa. I thought this was South Africa,
so they were they were a good deal of white yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: In January he rejoined the army as a lieutenant in
the South African Lighthorse Regiment.
Speaker 2: So he was like, no more journalism, I gotta killed,
I gotta get back. Yeah, put me in jail.
Speaker 1: During this time, he fought alongside his cousin Charles Spencer Churchill,
capturing Boer prisoners and writing about his exploits the entire time,
which sold pretty well.
Speaker 5: I'm assuming it's a Spencer from the Spencer.
Speaker 1: Family, Charles Spencer Churchill. I guess, yeah, that's maybe they
married into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Later in nineteen hundred he returned to London and became
a parliament member at just twenty five. He published a
book about his time in South Africa, Ian Hamilton's March,
and went on a book tour in North America. He
met Mark Twain, President McKinley and Vice President Teddy Roosevelt,
who was eager at first to meet Churchill, but then
came to dislike the Englishman.
Speaker 5: So, and this is before either of them hit their
they're big offices.
Speaker 3: But both of them had already I guess been in war, right,
So Teddy Rosevel would have already done the.
Speaker 2: Rough Riders, yeah, and Churchill had just finished the Boer War. Yeah,
So he was I'm sure Teddy.
Speaker 3: Was like, oh, fellow soldier, exchange war stories.
Speaker 1: With me, and Churchill's been in Cuba.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, I wonder maybe that's why I didn't
like him, because Churchill was hanging with the Spaniards.
Speaker 5: And both and both of them have no Belt Peace prizes, right,
which is ironic because both those guys loved war.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Teddy Roosevelt was like a great adventure
let's go.
Speaker 5: Oh if if he could be. If you're loving those
Teddy impressions, I do. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I like whenever he does voices that are you know,
they're not great, but they get the job done.
Speaker 5: I think Teddy had a little more of a high
pitched tone though, yeah, because they do have some recordings
of him.
Speaker 2: Oh do they really?
Speaker 1: Everyone had a higher pitch voice back then? Yeah, what's
up with that? I thought Tess Saucerum was was higher.
Speaker 2: It's all eyes, they were low tee.
Speaker 5: I hit puberty when I was four, so yeah, I
believe that.
Speaker 3: People don't notice. But Jack is twenty six. Yeah right now.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I U you know, genetics age like shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you would have thought they got along. I
guess not. Just like I said two similar characters, just
maybe picking apart the pieces they don't like about themselves.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see your.
Speaker 5: Reflection in the mirror, the same body types, kind of.
Speaker 2: Hear yourself talk.
Speaker 3: He's like, this guy sucks, dude, there's nothing good about him.
Speaker 1: Churchill took his seat in the House Commons in nineteen
oh one, and by nineteen oh three he was already
at odds with his Conservative Party, as they believed he
was drifting further and further to the left.
Speaker 2: Oh I think you said he was a liberal. So
he was.
Speaker 1: Oh, he was a liberal and everything, but name because
he just couldn't get down with the Irish. So he
chose the Conservative.
Speaker 2: Party literally just because he was like, fuck the Irish.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's like me with my friend group, I'm like
the most liberal one, but I don't say anything because
I'm like, I don't want to be ostracized.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, you're just like yeah, great Jack, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right, you're you're conservative like adjacent.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so people just.
Speaker 1: Can they're like, oh, Jack's yeah, he's down with whatever
we believe in.
Speaker 5: Because I just don't open my mouth. I never did
my opinions.
Speaker 1: The way to be really that's smart. Just keep it
close to the best.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what I appreciate that about where I grew up,
as people up there tend to not talk politics openly
and where it's a lot more common down here.
Speaker 2: It really is.
Speaker 1: I think that's a newer thing. That's just with the
invention of social media.
Speaker 5: That's true, I think.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, remember there's a whole joke in Chappelle's
show where you talk to white people about politics and
they're like, whoa, let's not get too personal. I was
telling you about fucking my wife. Yeah, now you're talking
about my politics. That's the line I cannot cross. In
nineteen oh four, he actually crossed party lines thanks to
the Aliens Bill, proposed curban Jewish immigration into the country.
Speaker 3: Well and get down with something, you know. So I'm
sorry he crossed party lines.
Speaker 1: So the conservatives were like, we need to stop the
Jewish people from coming into the country.
Speaker 2: But he was a conservative, he was so.
Speaker 5: He crossed party lines because he wanted the Jews.
Speaker 2: Oh, he wanted the Jews.
Speaker 1: He was down with the Jews. Oh, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: It's hard to tell. He hates Catholics, he likes muslim.
Speaker 1: He's not a consistent man.
Speaker 5: No, that period, from what I understand too, is kind
of the rise of the Zionism movement.
Speaker 3: So yeah, oh the yeah, the Israel getting its own Jews,
getting Israel be.
Speaker 5: In the news.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, this was right around the time that that
the UK had their Jewish prime minister.
Speaker 5: Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know that he was.
Speaker 3: He's one of the most famous effective prime ministers. He
was Queen Victoria's prime minister. I think I can't remember.
I'm angry I can't remember the name because I know
they have.
Speaker 5: A seat guy, now, don't they.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he's Indian.
Speaker 5: Oh he's not sekh though Jewish prime ministers. What does
this guy say?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Disraeli, Benjamin Disraeli.
Speaker 5: Oh that's a pretty Jewish name. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: He was.
Speaker 3: Prime minister under Queen Victoria and he was like years
what wait years, let's see, prime minister from eighteen seventy
four until eighteen eighty.
Speaker 1: So yeah, not that time, not around this time, but
he they what I'm saying though, twenty years later they
had just had.
Speaker 3: A very very good prime minister who was Jewish like
he is he is he might be on their mount
Rushmore Prime ministers.
Speaker 5: Like, well, that was their boom period. They were they
were going pretty hard as far as what they were
doing in the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in nineteen oh four May thirty first he physically
walks over the Parliament floor and sat as a member
of the Liberal Party like with pomp like one day
was just so during this whole discussion, this whole debate
whether or not to let Jewish people into their country,
He's like, enough is enough. I am now a liberal.
Speaker 2: Sick.
Speaker 3: And keep in mind, I think Catholicism had only been
relegalized in the UK for like seventy years at this
point or something.
Speaker 5: So you're still hanging on to his hatred for the Catholics.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but he loved the Jews, yes.
Speaker 1: And Islam and Islam it's an interesting combination there.
Speaker 2: Come on, man, what do you what do you even
like it? I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't understand your taste at all other than just
I think he I don't even get a problem with
the with Catholics.
Speaker 2: I think he's really hated the Irish.
Speaker 1: I don't think he did have a problem with Catholics.
I think it was just like, hey, the Irish needs
to know their place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the Irish are dirty.
Speaker 1: His grandfather was in charge of them, so it kind
of makes sense that he's like, yeah, this this is
the way things are.
Speaker 5: It wasn't a religion phobia. It was just good old
fashioned xenophobia. Yeah.
Speaker 1: In nineteen oh eight he was appointed the president of
the Board of Trade, where he brought about workplace reform
that included an eight hour work day meil brick unheard
of at that point, and minimum wage.
Speaker 2: Well, meal breaks, Eat at your desk, like a good worker.
What desk?
Speaker 1: Eat it here?
Speaker 3: Oh, it's like a what's his name had a desk,
Bob Cratchit had a desk.
Speaker 1: Right, No, you're in the factory. There is no desk.
Speaker 2: Eat your fucking post.
Speaker 1: He also married Clementine Hosier five months after meeting one
another at a dinner party. She would then be his
rock for the next fifty six years. So actually a
good marriage.
Speaker 5: That's a that's a good wife name right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't make them like they used to. Yeah.
In nineteen ten, Winston became Home Secretary, given him control
over police and prisons. He worked on prison reform, restricting
the use of solitary confinement, provided education and library options,
and abolished prison sentences for failures to pay fine, so
he got rid of debtor prison.
Speaker 5: So a very progressive fella.
Speaker 2: I do enjoy that progressive of progressivism back then was
just like basic human rights, right yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like you shouldn't go to prison if you owe the
government money, right, especially.
Speaker 2: Like ten dollars or you know, whatever the fuck.
Speaker 1: And like don't for not paying a tick, don't overuse.
Speaker 3: Solitary confide, don't just put even an irishman in a
black box for eight months because he was too Irish
one day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't torture people, right right right.
Speaker 1: In December of nineteen ten, a group of anarchist Lotvians
open fire on London police, killing three and injuring two.
A massive manhunt was launched under the supervision of Churchill.
On New Year's Day nineteen eleven, police received a tip
that the murderers were hiding in the house on Sydney Street.
Churchill and police arrived on the scene and the standoff
turned hot.
Speaker 2: Let's go.
Speaker 1: The Lotvians fired over four hundred rounds, with one piercing
through Winston's hat, narrowly missing his head.
Speaker 2: Like a top hat like that. Yeah, that's fun. It's
a good visual. Yeah, it's a big target.
Speaker 3: Why Yeah, And that's annoying too because you as a
as a shooter, are kind of just trying to figure
out where you think the head end, where the head starts,
and yeah, I mean shoot him in the face really
to be safe. But I guess if you want to
go full Dome, you aim it into the top hat.
I also, man anarchists. I need to do an episode
on anarchists. I'm like planning on doing it. Those guys
were a insane and b assassinated so many fucking people.
Speaker 5: World War One.
Speaker 3: All they killed McKinley, and an anarchist killed McKinley got
made Roosevelt president.
Speaker 2: They killed King Emberto of Italy.
Speaker 3: I mean, they fucking the amount of assassinations at the
side this they are. I'm not trying to like, uh
like ride for Antifa here, but whatever you think Antifa is,
that's what the anarchists actually were, like fucking lunatic set
burn the world down, everything, and they're like anarchist conventions,
which is an ironic juxtaposition, like an organized anarchist event.
Speaker 1: Being lobbians though they were used to how Russian police respond,
so they were kind of I think, uh rob in
the place police responded and their initial reaction was just
start firing.
Speaker 2: That's all you could do.
Speaker 3: And yeah, in Russia and also if they're still thinking
about Russian police not realizing.
Speaker 1: That the police, like the police in England are kind
of they had rights, bitches, they had right also, they
had rights.
Speaker 5: Well, they don't even carry guns anymore.
Speaker 3: No, which is funny because which Nordic country is it?
Like it's I don't think it's maybe it's Sweden.
Speaker 1: But like, no, Switzerland has a shits on guns switch.
Speaker 3: No, no, but there's a Nordic country where the cops
have straight up like MP five's, like dope ass submachine
guns in their cars.
Speaker 5: The Swedish police are highly trained compared to America. The
average American police officer. Yeah, they have to go through
like two years of like intense schooling to become a
cop in Sweden.
Speaker 1: During the shootout, the building caught fire and the Latvians
ultimately burned to death. It happens, you know.
Speaker 2: They died like they lived in anarchy.
Speaker 1: Later in nineteen eleven, he was put in charge of
the navy when Germany passed their nineteen twelve naval law
to increase production of warships. Churchill vowed that the British
would answer every German boat with two of their own.
I like that policy.
Speaker 2: It's a good policy. You kind of need to do it.
Speaker 1: And of course, two years later the outbreak of World
War One and he oversaw the naval tactics for the
First World War. He had a bit of a heat
check in nineteen fifteen with his interest in the Middle
Eastern theater. Yeah, he had to wear both failures in Constantinople,
in Glopoly, Gallipoli.
Speaker 2: Gallipoli, Yeah, was a monstrous fuck up. Like it's one
of the most disastrous campaigns of the war.
Speaker 5: Do you think he was in personal contact with the T. E. Lawrence?
Speaker 2: I wonder. Actually, it's a good question.
Speaker 5: Because both those guys seem to have a Middle East fetish.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no joke.
Speaker 1: He was ultimately demotive for these failures, and he resigned
from all cabinet positions after the demotion and reenlisted back
in active duty.
Speaker 2: Just in the war.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was such a teddy Roosevelt. Roosevelt move right there.
I'm gonna go from this high political office too. I'm
just gonna go be like a lieutenant colonel.
Speaker 1: He kept his Parliament seat, but he's like, you know what,
I need to get on the front lines. I need
to actually do something in this war.
Speaker 3: He definitely knew t Lawrence. They met, Okay, so I've
seen that's just my quick Google search.
Speaker 1: Winston was attached to the second Grenadier Guards on the
Western Front. Churchill had a few near death experiences, most
notably when a large piece of shrapnel from a shell
and fell right between him and his cousin.
Speaker 2: I liked that in.
Speaker 3: War it's like the opposite of being a cop, like
if you fuck up, you get sent to the desk,
but in war as a cop, but it wore.
Speaker 2: It's like you fuck up at the desk.
Speaker 3: Like front lines, yeah, like the Germans, Like you fuck
up somewhere like the Eastern Front, or like I guess
Churchill He's.
Speaker 2: Like, I'm sorry, I fucked up. Boom. I'm just getting
in a trench. That's where I belong.
Speaker 1: Lloyd George became Prime Minister in nineteen seventeen and asked
Winston to come back into the fold of things, appointing
him Minister of Munitions and the Secretary of State. Badass
job and the Secretary of State of War. So yeah,
he was in charge of just like ammunition production.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what does that even entail other than like factories
go burr, Like AMMO factory goes bur That's what it means. Yeah, yeah,
make sure AMMO factory always burning.
Speaker 1: We need we need more m O burr. After the war,
Churchill was a mouthpiece for the League of Nations and
opposed harsh measures to be taken against Germany. He's so
him and Wilson were both against uh, punishing Germany.
Speaker 2: Completely, Yeah, which was Germany, as we know, was the
right call.
Speaker 5: I wish they would have listened to him.
Speaker 3: No joke, I honestly even not I guess not even worse.
But like, the funniest part about that about like, but
fucking Germany over in for World War One is that
that immediately created what do they call it, the Great Lie,
which the Germans were like, oh, we lost because the
Jews betrayed us, and and that directly led to the Holocaust.
Speaker 5: Which it was the French that really went hard on
the trying to fuck Germany over.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I have some sympathy for the French wanting
to fuck Germany over as hard.
Speaker 1: As possible, considering they burned down a lot of their countryside.
Speaker 3: The whole war was in their country, basically, not a
lot of it was fought in Germany. It was all
in France and Belgium.
Speaker 1: Churchill was also outspoken against Vladimir Lenin and even proposed
offering up truths to fight the Bolsheviks, but ultimately knew
the country was tired of war. Not to mention the
Irish War of Independence was popping off, and so were
the Kurds in Iraq.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, they had to draw those special lines in
the Middle East. That is like twice that we've been like,
could have beaten or maybe taking care of the communists
in the Soviet Union, but we were just.
Speaker 2: Like, we've had enough war. We can't do it anymore.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: There's also this like we'll.
Speaker 5: Deal with It'll be worse, but we'll do with them.
Speaker 2: That's a tomorrow. That's my child's problem.
Speaker 1: There's a story that people believe is true that when
Churchill was drawing the lines for Jordan that he sneezed,
and that's kind of why it's like the way it is.
Speaker 2: Didn't want to erase it.
Speaker 1: It's not true though.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's one of my favorite countries on the planet.
Speaker 1: Jordan's great.
Speaker 5: Jordan is an awesome country. Yeah yeah, And I'm very
anti like royalty. It's just such a stupid concept to
me that it still exists. But like, that's a king
that puts his money where his mouth is. That's a
lead by the front king that they got it.
Speaker 2: Adulla.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Abdullah the second and when he was a prince too,
sorry to derail this, No, I love this. When he
was a prince, he was really into Star Trek and
he basically had his dad, who was king at the time,
get him into an episode of Star Trek the Next Generation.
Speaker 2: Well, he loves Star Treks.
Speaker 1: So it's a good connection because Churchill places Abdullah the
first in power.
Speaker 2: Oh really in Jordan. Yeah, interdasting, look at that.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're gonna like that's the that's the
trap though, right, is that people see a good king
and they're like.
Speaker 2: No, this can work.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Look, because when it's a good king, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1: I think the problem is most people in power aren't
that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but and most kings aren't.
Speaker 3: Like, imagine how angry you get stomp on your feet
about a mediocre president, right, now imagine that person can
be taken out of power, has no checks and balances.
Speaker 2: Yep, tell me you still want a fucking kid and.
Speaker 5: Their kid likes to pull wings off a fly.
Speaker 1: In his free time, Churchill enjoyed polo and really got
into painting in his forties, kind of.
Speaker 2: Like George Bush.
Speaker 1: Churchill would actually have exhibits of his work in London
and Paris under different names, so he wouldn't go under
his actual name.
Speaker 3: I think let's let's hedge this a little bit. He
definitely went under his actual name to get them in there, right,
but he's a public put his name on it.
Speaker 5: You see what happens when someone when you support someone's
artistic ambitions.
Speaker 2: Because the contrast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, another guy it became Secretary of State of the
Colonies in nineteen twenty one, the same year his mother
died after breaking her ankle and high heels and developing gangreen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, going to suck some dick.
Speaker 1: No, she was at like a ball or something.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like he said, broke her heel or.
Speaker 1: Something and broke her ankle on the staircase and then
just I guess never recovered.
Speaker 5: Anytime anybody does. The whole fantasizing about living back in
the day.
Speaker 2: Thing.
Speaker 5: You have to just think about the amount of things
that would kill you back then that now are just
an inconvenient comical.
Speaker 2: She died of a broken ankle, a broken fucking ankle.
Speaker 1: And then his daughter.
Speaker 2: There was no time in history that was better than now. None.
Speaker 1: Yeah, none, Not to mention his daughter died a few
months later of sepsis.
Speaker 5: So what she my dad almost died of sepsis like
two weeks ago. Really, yeah, is it a better time?
Speaker 1: Is it a better time he would have died?
Speaker 5: It is a better time in the sense that he definitely,
definitely would have died even forty years ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like, it's so funny to me. It's like,
but houses were more affordable. It's like, great, if you
trip and fall in that house and cut yourself on
a nail in that shitty house that was partly more
affordable because it was worse, you're gonna die. Yeah, So
maybe just fucking enjoy the present.
Speaker 5: No life alerts. Back then, Churchill was.
Speaker 1: A player in shape in the Middle East, ham picking
his own guys in Jordan and Iraq and working out
Jewish migration into Palestine.
Speaker 5: So he We could also blame Churchill for the current
situation going, and God.
Speaker 3: Can blame him well for everything. Really, we could blame
him for the Gaza War, the Iraq War. Yeah, you
wouldn't have been in Iraq if it wasn't for Winston Churchill.
That man had a direct influence on your life.
Speaker 5: That's some very what's it called the butterfly affection? Yeah there, Yeah,
Iraq it's cool too. Obviously when I was there was
a little more hectic. This is Can I go on
a little rant here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have the floor.
Speaker 5: I'm not. I didn't. I didn't. I haven't become necessarily
fascinated with Islam, but more Arab culture, which is isn't
just Islam, right, but.
Speaker 1: In fact it's it's not because a lot of Islamic.
Speaker 5: A lot of Arabs are Christians.
Speaker 1: Yeah that, but also there's a lot of history before Islam. Oh, yes,
that they try to eradicate, right when like isis, when
they go into a country and SyRI like Syrian stuff,
they try to blow ship up that had anything that
happened before Muhammad.
Speaker 5: They are archaeologists worst nightmare.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Sumerian, uh, Syrian.
Speaker 5: And I've been to I've been to uh Jesus Babylon. Right,
I've been to Babylon.
Speaker 2: I think you told us that that's fucking sick.
Speaker 5: I got. This is my rant about Arabs because I've
been kind of all over the Arab world. The best,
my favorite kind of Arabs are Iraqis and Jordanians and
a lot, you know, a good chunk of Egyptians. Yeah,
I like those are the best Arabs. Right, They're like
blue collar Arabs. They're cool, they they're you know, they're
down to party. They they they they're relatively you know, no,
moderate liberal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there is that, like the same as like Gosy's
Europe as an example, to not sound racist, but like
you can sort of like ethnically geographically group europe as
certain like.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3: You can be like Eastern Europeans, and then you've got
West Northern, which is like Germany, England and Scandinavian Scannabian's
kind of some thing, I guess. And then you've got
like the Romance Europeans, which is like Italy, France, Spain,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: They're all kind of distinctive in there.
Speaker 5: They're but they're they're good people. I like them. I've
always had great experiences and great memories. But the ones
that were always assholes to me are the ones coming
from Saudi Arabia. The worst thing you can do is
let those guys get their hands on that oil. They
become pricks. They're just assholes. Saudi's Kuwaitis are the laziest
pieces of shit I've ever been around.
Speaker 2: You told me that Kuwaitis were your least.
Speaker 5: They're just and they and they have a lot of
shared history with Iraq, but they are two different countries.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's so funny that Kuwaitis are just like.
Speaker 2: I mean, you're lazy as shit. Oh we had to
come unconquer their country for them.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Just they're fat. They're they're fatter than we are.
They are there's more McDonald's in Kwait than there is
in freaking Alabama.
Speaker 2: God, that's funny.
Speaker 1: Churchill actually loses his election in nineteen twenty two and
spends the next six months near Khan right in and paynin.
Speaker 2: In where Khan oh France.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He then flipped back to the Conservative Party and
regained a position in nineteen twenty four, leading the country's
finances despite having no background or education and doing so.
Speaker 2: Eh, real flip flopper.
Speaker 3: I mean, how many people truly currently on congressional committees
have any background in what the fuck they're talking about?
Like I understand, like there's probably certain judiciary committees that
are filled with lawyers and stuff like that.
Speaker 5: Which but Congress has a high percentage of lawyers.
Speaker 3: Right, right, right, But like, how many people on like
a national security committee?
Speaker 5: Oh a lot of times. I had a buddy that
was on one of those defense committees and is, yeah,
you were a lieutenant in the military at one point,
we'll just have you go do big level national security stuff.
Speaker 3: Which is truly almost like taking like a second unit
director and making him the head of a studio.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, that's it. That's exactly what it is.
Speaker 3: But like immediately, yeah, you know what I mean, they
just grab a second unit director.
Speaker 5: You did one movie, you're qualified, and.
Speaker 2: Chad, you wanna brothers now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, in nineteen twenty five, you restored the gold standard.
And in nineteen twenty seven he goes to Rome and
enjoys his meeting with one Mussolini.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, who also's gonna meet in Rome?
Speaker 1: Connecting over their hatred of leninism.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's some people that say World War two could
have easily been too different sides.
Speaker 1: Church Will gets removed from office again in nineteen twenty
nine and falls back into depression. He copes by writing
and drinking a lot more.
Speaker 2: This guy just can't take an l Are we going
to talk about his drinking schedule?
Speaker 1: Do you know it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll read it to you. Let me find it
real quick away.
Speaker 5: This is like, this is like a Hunter Thompson type
of thing. It is.
Speaker 2: I went viral a while back. I'll look it up.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 1: He also has another bad habit. He loses a lot
in the stock market and deals with it by chewing
eight to nine cigars a day, rarely taking a puff.
Speaker 2: Foul.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's just chewing on the cigar the whole fixation,
like his mom. Eight to nine cigars a day though,
and he would keep up to twenty four hundred cigars
on his person at all times.
Speaker 5: That was Mark Twain was like that. Mark Twain has
always had a stove grant.
Speaker 2: Apparently my dad that's what killed him.
Speaker 1: My dad literally, my dad would choose guards. He never
actually smoked him. Really, Church'll, it's weird, not really.
Speaker 5: It looks distinguished.
Speaker 3: It does look distinguished. Yeah, okay, So here is Churchill's
come on, man, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 1: It's okay, No, no, no, no, here we go.
Speaker 3: Seven point thirty Wake up, remain in bed, eat breakfast.
This is a daily regimen. I believe once he was
prime minister, but you gotta imagine this did not start
in nineteen forty. Wake up, Remain in bed, eat breakfast,
read newspapers, work, glass of whiskey and soda. Eleven am
out of bed, stroll around garden, whiskey and soda. One
o'clock multi course, launch, entire pint of champagne, an imperial
pint of champagne. Two point thirty work from study, glass
of cognak. What's seventeen hundred?
Speaker 2: Is that five?
Speaker 3: Okay, hour and a half nap slash siesta which he
get a little nap in a habit he acquired in Cuba.
Speaker 2: Rally, he started doing that from his time in Cuba.
Speaker 5: Not did the siesta thing come? Is that unique to
the Americas or did that Spanish?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Cultural thing?
Speaker 5: Okay? Uh?
Speaker 3: Six thirty wake up, bath, threats for dinner. Eight o'clock,
lengthy dinner with guests another Imperial pine.
Speaker 1: Of champagne food though he's not drinking on a nanty stomach.
Speaker 2: Yeah, midnight still kills people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, midnight working study more konyak just tbd amount of
kognak goes to bed between one and three in the morning.
Speaker 5: God, that's that's Hunter Thompson's schedule, minus the cocaine.
Speaker 2: Which we don't know that he wasn't.
Speaker 1: Also right, well, he was chewing nine cigars, so he was.
Speaker 5: Getting he was getting Britain through uh World War two,
just loaded.
Speaker 2: Which he was. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Which the other day they were talking on drinking bros.
It's they were saying like, oh, uh, Kamala Harris apparently
has a drink every day when she wakes up.
Speaker 2: And I almost wanted to chime in and be like
Buddy Winston Churchill was getting after it.
Speaker 5: Yeah the moment he woke up. And you know, a
lot of people don't realize this too. Obama was a
huge cigarette smoker. Oh yeah that like, uh, he played
that he quit going into his presnency. Nobody quits when
they're about to go into that job.
Speaker 2: You can't give that up.
Speaker 5: No, we need you smoking. That's what you're used to
it'll keep you saying. Yeah, you know who else was
a big cigarette smoker, Laura Bush. Really everybody in certain
circles knew Laura liked her heaters.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, good for her. Yeah.
Speaker 1: During this time, he also wrote a couple of books
and a few opposition pieces against one Gandhi hated Gandhi.
Fucking despise God.
Speaker 2: I could see that. So I bet you didn't like
Hindus just randomly like so he's he maybe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he thought Gandhi was a hypocrite.
Speaker 5: Probably a lot of people agree.
Speaker 2: Probably true.
Speaker 1: He's like, you're what's your cause? Playing as this poor man?
Speaker 5: Yeah, he was at he came from a soilty family
and he was a lawyer.
Speaker 2: He adopted the whole robe ship.
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, one point and Gandhi, I think it
went I roll a while back, like a while back,
just and it does. Everyone's well, like all the fuck
up shit you wrote about black people when he was
living in South Africa and stuff like that.
Speaker 5: It wasn't fond.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, people are jerks. Yeah,
people have antiquated views. It happens real quick.
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Speaker 1: Churchill regains a Parliament seat in nineteen thirty one, but
has given no real position of power. Churchill then goes
on another North American tour to try and recoup some
of his financial losses from the Wall Street crash with
his new book. During this tour, he's hit by a
car and dragged while crossing Fifth Avenue in New York dragged.
Speaker 2: How long is he dragged?
Speaker 1: Quite a bit? But it's because he's not used to
the way American cars go right. Oh yeah, he looked,
he looked the wrong way.
Speaker 5: I bet, I bet in the UK cops are used
to scooping up the Americans out there who weren't ready.
Speaker 2: Well, not just Americans. Everyone drives on the right side.
Speaker 5: Australian and in the UK are the only countries I
can think of that do the left side?
Speaker 2: Does New Zealand?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 2: Probably them too, Yeah, but that's like it. Everyone else
drives on the right side of the road.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Churchill sustained severe bruison and a sprained shoulder, but played
down the severity of his injuries right in that he could.
He couldn't understand why he was not broken like an eggshell,
or squashed like a gooseberry.
Speaker 3: Or just died like his mom did of a broken ankle,
Like I love that his mom gets a broken ankle
and dies. He gets hit by a car, fine, and
dragged through what I assumes still a fair amount of
horse shit in the streets of New York.
Speaker 5: Oh another thing, like people don't understand how gross cities
were back then.
Speaker 2: Oh god, up until the nineties.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, people didn't even bathe like maybe once a week.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember I was saying about this one thing
I read about, like just apartments in New York. I
assume most places with the same way. But you, for
the longest time could a lot of rentals, the cheaper rentals.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: Now you would see it, dude, they'll and they'll dress
it up as like a walk up or something like that,
you know what I mean. But a lot back in
the day, the ones, Uh, they would have fun names
for it, like a cold water loft or something like that.
Speaker 2: It was just it's just like a lot of apartments,
no hot water. Yeah, so enjoy He.
Speaker 1: Took an immigrant, took full responsibility for the accident, in
forming the police that the driver was innocent, secure in
his release and integrity, and ever, the optimist went to
the doctor and because it was prohibition, got himself a
little script for alcohol.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, how did he even survive in this country?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: The drawls alone. Sounds like the withdrawals would have killed them.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why you got hit by a car.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he's like, I would rather get hit
by a car than stay sober, and God intervened.
Speaker 1: In nineteen thirty two, Churchill visits Munich. A proposed meet
him with Hitler was arranged, but Adolph ultimately declined and
Winston collapsed a few days later, so they were gonna meet.
Winston was kind of talking to Hitler's boy, and I
guess Hitler was just like, why the fuck do I
want to meet Winston Churchill?
Speaker 2: Random fucking guy, some parliament member.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fuck that. I never heard of this guy, right?
He big timed him. Winston Churchill got big time by Hitler.
Speaker 5: God, damn like sitting on a bench behind Aaron Rodgers.
Speaker 2: Do you think do you think he was jealous that
Winston got his paintings in a museum probably or in
a gallery.
Speaker 1: Although he didn't know that because Winston never put his
name on it. True, true, But Winston collapsed a few
days later when an ulcer started to hemorrhage. He was
taken back to London in a nursing home and remained
there for the A good portion of the year. Hitler
comes to power in nineteen thirty three and Churchill is
pretty vocally against him in British radio.
Speaker 5: He That's the thing about Churchill is from the beginning
he knew Hitler was bad news. A lot of other people,
even the United States, were like, oh, well, wait and
see what he does over there then, right right, Churchill
knew that guy was bad news from the beginning.
Speaker 1: Not only is Churchill in Parliament, he is writing newspaper columns,
he's on radio. He's just screaming, like, dude, fuck this guy.
Speaker 3: There was a New York Times headline about Hitler from
nineteen thirty three that came out the other day.
Speaker 5: Oh, they had open members of the Nazi Party of
the United States. They filled up Madison Square Garden.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but god damn it.
Speaker 5: What was it?
Speaker 3: It was just something like along the lines of like
Hitler not seeking to take dictatorship or something like that,
Like it was.
Speaker 5: Sounds like something a dictator would say, right right.
Speaker 1: He also opposed Mussolini's invasion of Ethiopia, feared to Commanism
in the Spanish Civil War, and just got to write
and publishing all his thoughts on all the geopolitical chess
moves movement or pieces movement. Nineteen thirty seven, Neville Chamberlain
becomes Prime Minister and in nineteen thirty eight signed the
Munich Agreement.
Speaker 3: So I actually don't know if we've spoken about this
on the show before, but Jack, I think you're a perfect,
perfect person to pick the brain up.
Speaker 2: There are some people and I haven't read into it.
So I just heard this theory and.
Speaker 5: Was the James Buchanan of British history.
Speaker 3: So that's how he's portrayed. Absolutely unquestionably he should and
maybe he should. I just heard a theory and I
didn't look into it. So I just think it's an
interesting thought experiment, doesn't I'm not married to it at all.
But that essentially Chamberlain knew that the Germans were ready
for war but the British weren't, and his tactics of
appeasement were specifically fine time buying time.
Speaker 5: Okay, that's that's that's a sound theory.
Speaker 4: I would I would have to actually look into it,
but I was like, if that's true, he was doing
his best, yeah, because France was ready for war and
France gets a bad rap. Yes, they do no good
go they they had, They had some of the best
tanks in the world at the time.
Speaker 3: The char was goddamn impregnable. The Mage no line gets
all the love. But like their tanks were excellent, they
had a large standing army, like they knew what was coming. Yeah, right,
they were gone door next sitting next to Mordor, they
were the only ones with any sort of fucking realization
of what they were sitting next to.
Speaker 2: But they essentially.
Speaker 3: Honestly, the more I think about the Battle of France,
the invasion of France, the more I just think they
just got caught with a left hook, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 5: They blitz I mean they blitzed creak through France the
same way they did into Poland. And once once you
penetrate that line.
Speaker 3: Once you get one, once there's and that's in any war.
Once there's a breakthrough, it's over. Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 2: Once the line integrity has gone.
Speaker 5: Like they saw the Germans and threw their hands up.
They put up a fight, but the Germans that that
that that freaking pointy blitzkrie Go by the arrow method.
Speaker 3: That shit worked, Yeah, and it really it was a
level of maybe mechanization. They weren't expecting. Yeah, but their
equipment was excellent. Yeah, and they had a large army
and the Maginal Line was great. And actually what was
the one of the points of the Maginal Line was
so that they're like, why wouldn't they build it across
Belgium too, And there was sort of like an like
they had like a deal with Belgium, and Belgium didn't
want to like feel like they were going to be
left out in the cold.
Speaker 2: So the Maginal Line. Part of the functionality of it
was it didn't.
Speaker 3: Have to be manned by many people, so that they
could free up more troops to man the open area,
you know what I mean. Like and yeah, I think
they really just got not just they just got something
you weren't expecting, right, it was a surprise left hit
them right in the perfect spot out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they get a bad rap on their actual
quality of military.
Speaker 5: We wouldn't have we wouldn't have been successful in retaking
France either, if it wasn't for the French resistance.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like, actually, today, I believe it's the anniversary of the
liberation of Paris, the eightieth anniversary. Oh really, yeah, yeah,
not when you guys are listening to this, but when
we are recording it.
Speaker 5: I know I know a guy. I know a guy
who's in Paris right now competing in the Paralympics. Oh nice, yeah,
Jason Trabanski. Do we dominate those? I would imagine right
like if our, if our able body Olympians are killing
every kicking ass, our Paralympians are probably god I think, yeah, yeah,
what if there was just.
Speaker 1: A random nation that dominates, like Chile.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like they're just like they put all their investment
into their Paralympians.
Speaker 3: I mean I could also see China just like cutting
the limbs off of great athletes just to rack up
some gold medals in the Paralympics too, Like you're you're
not good to get into the Olympics, so you lose
a leg.
Speaker 1: Or maybe like a South Korean trying to get out
of mandatory military service disables himself.
Speaker 5: I noticed that North Korea wasn't there because evidently they
don't have handicapped people, not for long. Yeah, the sweet
Sweden there, Their contingent was pretty small too, because they
practiced eugenics until the seventies and they wiped out a
sizable portion of their population that well, you got it.
Speaker 1: There's a there was an article not that long ago
about Iceland where it's like, how Iceland solved down.
Speaker 5: Cured down. You mean you did eugenics sterilized, force sterilized people.
Speaker 2: Well, they didn't force sterilize it.
Speaker 3: But any time they found out the Downson and stuff
just up boarded the kid, which I think you don't
find out that early.
Speaker 1: I would have to look down. Now, let's get it,
let's move on.
Speaker 2: I want to talk about abortion.
Speaker 1: The Munich Agreement allowed Hitler to annex the Sudettinland. Churchill
called this a total embarrassment and defeat and used it
as a platform to create a national coalition in game
popularity around the country. He's so he's on Chamberlain's kind
of cabinet, but is very outspoken against Chamberlain. In nineteen
thirty nine, when Britain finally declares war on Germany, Chamberlain
appoints Churchill on his war cabinet. After the Allies prevented
the German occupation of Norway, a vote of no confidence
came about in Chamberlain. German forces then invaded Belgium, Luxembourg
and the Netherlands. Pressure continues from the Labor Party to
get Neville the fuck out and he finally resigns but
rides for Churchill to take his place, which they're actually
okay with.
Speaker 2: I have a question.
Speaker 5: I know British politics are different than American politics. Liberal
Party there in the Conservative Party there doesn't necessarily translate
one hundred percent into our Republican Democrat parties. But what
what would the Labor Party be closer to in the
in the American political system.
Speaker 2: I think Labor's Democrat Democrats.
Speaker 5: They're Democrat, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Union Labor Tory is conservative.
Speaker 5: But they have that. That's what they have a lot
more parties than we do.
Speaker 3: And also they're just it's just a different Like I
was saying this some of the other days, like oh yeah,
you talk about like conservatives winning elections in Europe. These
are people who will never get rid of nationalized health care,
will never legalize guns. Like there's just so many things
where it's like you're basically only socially conservative at that
point because you're because you you know, you can't even
couldn't even begin to privatize like health care or something
like that that people would never stand for it. So
you which is like private or public. Making anything public
is uh anti conservative. Yeah, so all you are at
that point is like socially conservative pretty much. I don't
know what else you'd be.
Speaker 1: Oh, and economically comes down a chair Chill and Lord Halifax,
who didn't really seem super enthusaize of the occasion anyway.
So by default Churchill just kind of takes over as
prime minister.
Speaker 5: He gets elected a happy accident.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3: Also, is this a situation, as Jack was saying earlier,
we like to use college football analogies. Is this the
sort of situation where you just hire an asshole because
you know you're about to get sanctions?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? You don't want to make
a good hire yet, No, you're just leaving it too.
Speaker 1: It's not that it's just he's really the only guy
that's that wants the job. Everybody else is like run
the country.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone else is a bitch, And it's like, I'm
afraid to run the country.
Speaker 1: And Churchill was like, I was kind of made it
for this, all right.
Speaker 2: Sometimes he steps up.
Speaker 5: What it is?
Speaker 3: Sometimes people with irrational confidence are mostly awful.
Speaker 5: That's why America does so good. Yeah, things we're irrationally
confident people.
Speaker 1: And this is probably why Churchill is one of the
goats in England. He's got that, he got that, he's
got that American in him.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: On May tenth, nineteen forty, Winston Churchill with the Germans
at the gates and in the midst of war becomes
Prime Minister of the UK. And uh, that's where the
story ends for us here. I mean, obviously does he win.
He does win.
Speaker 6: Yeah, wh and but I mean can I yeah, yeah,
I mean, if you want to like kind of after
he got Britain out of one of the worst fucking
situations they've ever been in, and he saw them through
to the end of the war, they were quick to
get rid of him.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he's only a wartime Consiiclary, you know what
I mean, it's not a peacetime type of guy. I
wonder if they were worried about him being a little horny.
Speaker 2: To go after the Soviets he was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, again, could have saved us a lot of troubles.
Speaker 2: Well I guess not really. I mean, we we beat
him with out.
Speaker 5: It turning it out, okay, yeah, yeah for the most part.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I was gonna say without firing a shot,
but we could probably count Vietnam, in Korea, Afghanistan.
Speaker 1: And like I said, we're not going to cover any
of the things he does in World War Two, except
I got a little story that's entertaining enough to kind
of lead us out here. So while Churchill visited the
US and went to the White House to hang out
with FDR have a couple of meetings, he had several
naked incidents. He loved to walk around naked. On one occasion,
he supposedly encountered the ghost of Abraham Lincoln while in
his birthday suit.
Speaker 5: I love that Abe Lincoln was in the UK. No, no, no,
the White House.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a thing, like it is said that
Abe Lincoln. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So apparently, while he was walking around in his birthday suit,
he came across the ghost of Abe Lincoln in the
White House. They stared at each other for some time
before Lincoln politely dipped cap and walked away.
Speaker 5: You got a nice cock.
Speaker 1: President Franklin Roosevelt also saw him naked, along with several
White House staff members during his twenty four day visit
in nineteen forty one. Churchill had just taken his bath
and was pacing around nude. When Roosevelt came in, the
President quickly tried to leave, but Churchill told him not to,
declaring that he was clearly that he clearly had nothing
to hide to his closest ally. Ha. So that is
the story of the rise of the Lion, the Last Lion,
the American Lion, whatever you wanna call him.
Speaker 2: I like I called him the American. Let's take credit.
Speaker 1: Let's I want to take credit for Churchill.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, would you guys learn today?
Speaker 3: You actually reminded me of that Lincoln story. I forgot
that Churchill saw Lincoln's ghost, but I didn't realize that
Churchill saw combat.
Speaker 1: Actually, I didn't know a lot of combat. Yeah, I
didn't realize that re entered combat. Yeah, I know he
had had a cushy position. He's like, you know what,
I need to get back into war.
Speaker 5: I didn't know that he was such a nudist.
Speaker 3: I guess he didn't only liked. I also didn't realize
he religiously cross dressed, as I said.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Actually, you know what I want to change my
answer that was, I didn't know that that he had
such a fascination with Yeah.
Speaker 1: Found out his mom was a whore.
Speaker 2: Yeah he found out.
Speaker 5: I didn't know that.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, we found out. Yeah, I didn't know his
mom was a dirty, dirty slut.
Speaker 1: A lot of things like his childhood has rise to power.
That's pretty interesting and honestly more interested than the stuff
that happened to World War Two. Obviously not as important,
but softcore history man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know he made his uh fun fact about Churchill.
He made his famous iron curtain speech in Missouri. Oh really,
in some little town in Missouri that I forget the
name of it starts of.
Speaker 1: A W but stuttering his little dick off.
Speaker 3: Yeah he They mark it to this day like it's
like it. But yeah, he made his iron curtain speech
in Missouri. I think it was because woman was president
and they were there because of that.
Speaker 1: If I recall correctly, who is today's Hitler?
Speaker 2: Hitler?
Speaker 1: I guess anybody but Hitler?
Speaker 2: Uh who is today's Hitler.
Speaker 5: It sounded like the only real negative thing that influenced
his life was his crazy father.
Speaker 2: No, his mom, dude, his mom mind sucks. Well.
Speaker 1: I can't really blame her though, too, because her husband's
just fucking the chambermaid.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about raising her children in any meaningful way.
Speaker 5: But that was the norm back then.
Speaker 2: I guess still your your son's like please, mummy, please, his.
Speaker 1: Dad had mercury poison on his brain and just yelling
to go to the combat killer roll killer himdu pop up?
Speaker 2: Would you like to take a walk in the guardroom?
Kill me a Hindu? And then it's just all right.
Speaker 5: We could be balls and say that Gandhi.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say church in Churchill's mind is
probably Gandhi.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Churchill's like, God, what a dick?
Speaker 5: Uh man.
Speaker 1: I also learned Teddy did. I would have thought Teddy
and him would have been pals.
Speaker 5: You made a good point. Sometimes when people are too similar,
it's like when parents and children butt heads. Sometimes you're
button heads with yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's today's episode. Thanks for tuning in, ladies
and gentlemen, Jack, it's always a pleasure to thank you
for joining us. Make sure to check out our patre
on patreon dot com slash softcore History, where you get
two additional episodes every week and you have a evergreen
back catalog of what like three years of content at
this point.
Speaker 2: So much it would take you forever to get through
five dollars.
Speaker 5: Not with the time I spent in the pool of episodes.
Speaker 1: So with that, make sure to leave a review five
stars please and thank you. Leave review on Apple if
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Speaker 2: Yes it is.
Speaker 3: I was actually just looking at the Top Comedy one today.
We're on History, not Comedy with the Top Comedy one
today and number five had one episode sick and like
eighty reviews. But I think it had gotten those.
Speaker 1: Eighties manipulated the algorithm. Yeah, and then I'm on Spotify
for some reason, I can't change it. I think we're
sports still because.
Speaker 2: For free we have our it's the feed from our
old college.
Speaker 1: Old college football show. Yeah yeah, unofficial visit, So I
want to.
Speaker 2: I'll listen to that when I get through all the
softcore episodes.
Speaker 1: It's gone well. If you like college football talk from
six years ago, it's also gone so okay. Anyway, four
Rob Fox and Jack Mandeville, I'm damn Chester and you
just guess all serve