Speaker 1: KFI AM six forty. You're listening to Dean Sharp The
Speaker 1: house Whisper on demand on the iHeartRadio app. I'm Dean Sharp,
Speaker 1: the house Whisper, custom home Designer, and here on the
Speaker 1: weekends your guide to better understanding that place where you live.
Speaker 1: We are all about taking your ordinary house and helping
Speaker 1: you make it into an extraordinary home. Today on the show,
Speaker 1: we're tackling one of the toughest things out there when
Speaker 1: it comes to you transforming your house. I mean tough.
Speaker 1: You thought last week was tough when we were talking
Speaker 1: about wrestling with color. Okay, that's the thing. But colors exist,
Speaker 1: They're out there. We just have to learn how to
Speaker 1: work with them. How about this finding your style? Uh,
Speaker 1: I know you're cringing. You're like, I don't have style, Dean,
Speaker 1: I'd have no idea where to start. Well, that's what
Speaker 1: we're going to help you with today. Gonna find your
Speaker 1: style and we're going to help to imbue it. Imbue
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good word, into your home more and more,
Speaker 1: layer by layer, so that you end up with a
Speaker 1: custom home experience in every moment that you are walking
Speaker 1: through your home. So finding your style, we'll talk about
Speaker 1: it in terms of the exterior of the house, like
Speaker 1: the architecture, the architectural style, but even more important than that,
Speaker 1: once we get inside the house, the flow, the sense
Speaker 1: of everything that's going. How do we determine if you
Speaker 1: have style and what style is and how do we
Speaker 1: find yours? Okay, and of course we're taking calls as always,
Speaker 1: we're going to be taking your calls today. The number
Speaker 1: to reach me eight three three two. Ask Dean eight
Speaker 1: three three, the numeral two. Ask Dean A three three
Speaker 1: two pep ask Dean, Okay, got it, A three three
Speaker 1: the numeral two, and then just spell out ask Dean.
Speaker 1: All right, let me introduce you to our awesome team. Elmer,
Speaker 1: as always is on the board. Good morning, Elmer.
Speaker 2: Good morning Dean.
Speaker 1: Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday to you. What's the what's the
Speaker 1: what's the plan for today? When you're done, get some breakfast.
Speaker 2: I have like some leftover ground beef, so I want
Speaker 2: to make a breakfast burrito. I got some hash brown
Speaker 2: so I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1: Right, you're gonna be uh when is that happening? How
Speaker 1: long are you on the board today?
Speaker 2: Until twelve? So I just have to hold that hunger
Speaker 2: for like two more hours.
Speaker 1: All right, you and me both so brunch. Technically brunch
Speaker 1: you should be having a breakfast burrito run all right?
Speaker 1: Sounds good? Uh hey, look at this sitting in studio.
Speaker 1: Producers Richie and Nikki both grab a mic and say hello,
Speaker 1: good morning guys. Hello, Hello are you? Is everybody doing good? Sure?
Speaker 1: I am too. I have my dunkin Donuts this morning,
Speaker 1: so we're good. Nikki, where exactly where exactly, I mean
Speaker 1: precisely does that accent come from?
Speaker 3: It comes from Bondai Beach in Sydney.
Speaker 1: Australia, Bondai Beach. Correct Ah, And how long have you?
Speaker 1: How long have you been here?
Speaker 3: I've been in the US for eleven years, but I've
Speaker 3: been on the West Coast for about nine or ten years.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, sounds good, sounds good. I love that accent.
Speaker 3: I love yours too.
Speaker 1: Oh it's the weirdest thing to think that I have one.
Speaker 3: Everyone has one except for me.
Speaker 1: Isn't that the way it works?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: So what does my accent sound like? I Am not
Speaker 1: going to insult you by trying to do my Australian
Speaker 1: you know, shrimp on the barbie thing.
Speaker 3: I love when people tried it to the accent.
Speaker 1: It tickles me every time I'm in the UK. My
Speaker 1: friends who live in the UK, I love. I love
Speaker 1: asking them. I'm like, go ahead, go do an American
Speaker 1: accent and we all end up sounding like cowboys. You
Speaker 1: have a very classic accent. Classic What does that mean?
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 3: Well, it's not southern. It's not like Midwestern. It's not
Speaker 3: like a valley girl on you, Josey.
Speaker 1: It's just classic. Well, I guess that's just my So.
Speaker 1: You know, when I was younger, my accent sounded a
Speaker 1: little bit more like this. I actually pushed this away.
Speaker 1: This was the accent that I had that I spoke
Speaker 1: with until I was about seven or eight years old.
Speaker 1: And that's because my parents were from well Arkansas, Oklahoma,
Speaker 1: and I grew up in a household with that. And
Speaker 1: then I went to school. But I was born and
Speaker 1: raised right here in Los Angeles, and so I went
Speaker 1: to school and I realized all my friends were looking
Speaker 1: at me, thinking where are you from? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm from Newport Beach and it just didn't make sense
Speaker 1: to anybody, and I thought, okay, I just started kind
Speaker 1: of pushing it down, pushing it down, and then I
Speaker 1: ended up with this one. See, and when I get
Speaker 1: so used to talk like a cowboy a little bit more, yeah,
Speaker 1: a little bit more, a little bit more like a
Speaker 1: cowboy from Los Angeles, from Los Angeles, California. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so I pushed it down and I thought no big
Speaker 1: deal until, of course, the day when I first invited
Speaker 1: some of my friends over to the house, and because
Speaker 1: I hadn't anticipated that right, and then my mom heard
Speaker 1: me talking like this to my friends, and she's like,
Speaker 1: why you change your voice when they're around? And then
Speaker 1: I had to spill the beans that I and she
Speaker 1: she thought for the longest time that I was ashamed
Speaker 1: of my accent, but it was just the fact that
Speaker 1: it was just weird. I just it was just weird
Speaker 1: for me to come from LA and to have an
Speaker 1: accent from Oklahoma. And so anyway, sometimes I'll slip up.
Speaker 1: You hear me say, hey, y'all, what's going on? And uh,
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't mind it now, but this
Speaker 1: has become over what fifty years, this is my this
Speaker 1: is my normal speaking voice. But I can get tired
Speaker 1: and slip into the other one. So anyway. I love
Speaker 1: your accent. It is classic. Thank you right back, all right,
Speaker 1: sitting across the table from me, the one who knows
Speaker 1: all of the secrets, my best buddy in all the world,
Speaker 1: the co founder and co owner and my design partner
Speaker 1: of House Whisper, my best buddy in all the world,
Speaker 1: Tina is here. Excuse you? No, no, what is that accent?
Speaker 1: That's distinctly African? I think? Welcome home. How you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm good. It's it's a nice morning, gorgeous outside. It's
Speaker 1: a gorgeous. We're going to go ride in a boat later,
Speaker 1: I think, I think so, hopefully, hopefully if it all
Speaker 1: works out. Well, all right, y'all see I did it?
Speaker 1: Look at it? Look at me. I'm just slipping in.
Speaker 1: When we come back, we're going to dive in headfirst
Speaker 1: into figuring out if we can figure out your style.
Speaker 1: It all starts with understanding what the heck is style? Anyway?
Speaker 1: I mean, for real, I'm going to break that down
Speaker 1: for you, and hopefully you'll be encouraged by the answer
Speaker 1: and it'll give you some handles to grab onto and say, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe I can figure this out.
Speaker 4: You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
Speaker 4: KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1: We only do the good kind, uplifting, informative, non bugging
Speaker 1: you kind of social media. We're on all the usual
Speaker 1: suspects Instagram, TikTok, Facebook X. You know all those guys
Speaker 1: Home with Dean, same handle for them, all Home with Dean.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to remind you that if your home
Speaker 1: is in need of some personal house Whisper attention. If
Speaker 1: I start to poking the bear today and you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's time for us to start redoing
Speaker 1: this home in our style, then you can book an
Speaker 1: in home design consult with me and the tea. Just
Speaker 1: go to house whisper dot Design for more information house
Speaker 1: Whisper dot Design. And of course we're gonna be going
Speaker 1: to the phones in a bit as we do. The
Speaker 1: number to reach me eight three three two Ask Dean
Speaker 1: eight three to three the numeral to ask Dean. Richie
Speaker 1: and Nicky are standing by to take your call. They'll
Speaker 1: tell you everything you need to know. You can listen
Speaker 1: to Nicky's accent from Bondai Beach, Sydney, Australia. There you go,
Speaker 1: all right back to it style, just as every great
Speaker 1: author or movie maker needs to know what kind of
Speaker 1: story they want to tell before they get started. Every
Speaker 1: great architectural project begins with that kind of an intention,
Speaker 1: an intention, a theme, and some sense of style. The
Speaker 1: stronger the sense of style, the stronger the start for
Speaker 1: any project. And that's just the way it goes. Now,
Speaker 1: here's the trouble with style. Number one, not many people
Speaker 1: think they have it. Number two, very few people that
Speaker 1: I've met really understand it. And number three, even though
Speaker 1: we are surrounded by examples of style and we were
Speaker 1: flooded with it on on a daily basis. If you
Speaker 1: watch if I mean, if you watch any television whatsoever,
Speaker 1: if there's on your feeds, if there's fashion news, if
Speaker 1: there's celebrity news, I mean, it's just all about style, style, style.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Even if you're watching like HDTV
Speaker 1: or DIY network, you know you're seeing design shows. I
Speaker 1: say that very loosely. Design. I'm using my air quotes
Speaker 1: design shows. Even and if you pick up magazines like
Speaker 1: Interior Design Magazine or Architectural Digest magazine, which are solid,
Speaker 1: lovely publication. The point is this, none of those things
Speaker 1: are reaching out to you to help you figure out
Speaker 1: what your style is. They're just showing off somebody else's style,
Speaker 1: and that's the way it is in the design world
Speaker 1: generally speaking. That's why we are kind of standouts in
Speaker 1: that sense because I'm sitting here with you having this conversation,
Speaker 1: and my concern is not showing you my style in
Speaker 1: a magazine spread, but helping you figure out what yours is.
Speaker 1: Because your home is where you live, and I assume
Speaker 1: you're not so worried about a magazine spread, but what
Speaker 1: you are concerned about is how do I make this
Speaker 1: house more and more my home? So that's the problem
Speaker 1: with style. There are examples of it all around us,
Speaker 1: yet other people's stuff, and there's very very little education
Speaker 1: about it, or instruction or anybody coming alongside and saying,
Speaker 1: you know, let me help you find out yours. And
Speaker 1: you would think, well, maybe I could hire a stylist, right,
Speaker 1: isn't that what designers are for? Aren't designers there to
Speaker 1: give me style? And there's another sense in our industry
Speaker 1: in which I would say, yeah, that's kind of how
Speaker 1: things work. But here's the question, is it how things
Speaker 1: should work? And my answer to that is no, that's
Speaker 1: not how things should work. We get hired at times
Speaker 1: to give people a style, and they literally say to us, listen,
Speaker 1: pick something and go with it, and as long as
Speaker 1: you know it doesn't offend me, we're good to go.
Speaker 1: I mean, believe it or not, that happens a lot,
Speaker 1: and most of the time these days, I shut that
Speaker 1: stuff down and I say, yeah, you know what, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of people out there who are happy to
Speaker 1: do that, to kind of take their sense of style
Speaker 1: and just throw it onto your house and so that
Speaker 1: you look good with you to your friends and you
Speaker 1: feel all, you know, fancy and gigi. But that's not
Speaker 1: what we do. What we do is try and dig
Speaker 1: into you and draw it out of you, and of
Speaker 1: course help you along the way. So the answer to
Speaker 1: the question is of can my designer just choose a
Speaker 1: style for me? Well, sure they can, but is that
Speaker 1: your style? Not? Necessarily I can help you find it.
Speaker 1: I can suggest some style choices to you. I can
Speaker 1: expand on your style all day long, okay, and I
Speaker 1: can make sure you're staying true to your style. But
Speaker 1: I can't choose it for you. Your job your job. If
Speaker 1: you really want to live in a home that is
Speaker 1: truly yours. You really want your personality expressed through the
Speaker 1: way that you live. Your job is to do the
Speaker 1: hard work of knowing some things about yourself. I remember this.
Speaker 1: In the earliest days of my design mentoring, I was
Speaker 1: told I was given this example. Written above the entrance
Speaker 1: of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, there is this
Speaker 1: ancient Greek maxim. This is ancient history, right, but it's powerful.
Speaker 1: You would approach the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and
Speaker 1: as you go underneath these columns and this big stone
Speaker 1: lentil above the columns written on it in Greek are
Speaker 1: these words, know thyself, Know thyself. And I've carried that
Speaker 1: with me because I think that's really the heart of
Speaker 1: what it means to have a custom home. You have
Speaker 1: to know something about yourself. And I've run into a
Speaker 1: lot of folks who surprisingly don't know as much about
Speaker 1: themselves as they think. And it doesn't mean that, you know,
Speaker 1: being a designer of homes, an architectural designer, that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that you know it's my job to take you
Speaker 1: to therapy or anything like that. But you know, we
Speaker 1: do touch on these things because living in a home
Speaker 1: is an emotional experience. And the better you know yourself,
Speaker 1: just very simply put, the better it is in terms
Speaker 1: of finding and expressing your style. Right, you don't have
Speaker 1: to know anything about design, but you do have to
Speaker 1: know something about yourself. And the first, last, and most
Speaker 1: important job of the design client, in my opinion, is
Speaker 1: to know something about yourself and from there we can
Speaker 1: get a lot done. I mean, we can get a
Speaker 1: lot done. So that is my first encouragement to you.
Speaker 1: You don't have to know anything about design. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be, you know, have your thumb on the
Speaker 1: heartbeat of the pulse of fashion or fad or anything
Speaker 1: that's going on in the world right now. You simply
Speaker 1: have to make some decisions about what you like and
Speaker 1: who you are. And this gets to the very definition
Speaker 1: of style. Okay, Now, if you look up style in
Speaker 1: the dictionary, you'll find all sorts of derivations of definition
Speaker 1: and kind of what's unseen and unspoken. But running through
Speaker 1: them all is this idea? Going to leave this with
Speaker 1: you to just ponder while we go to the news.
Speaker 1: Style is essentially anchored in repetition and routine. Right when
Speaker 1: you think of somebody's style, like you think of somebody
Speaker 1: who has a certain style to them. It means that
Speaker 1: you've seen them do a thing or act away or
Speaker 1: move away, or whatever the case may be, more than once.
Speaker 1: You've seen it again and again and again and again.
Speaker 1: It's kind of their flow. It is their routine. They
Speaker 1: routinely behave in this way, they routinely dress this way,
Speaker 1: they routinely move this way, they routinely make these choices
Speaker 1: or speak in this way. Right, And because of that,
Speaker 1: at the heart beat of style, the very root is
Speaker 1: this idea of repetition and routine. Style is whatever you
Speaker 1: keep coming back to. Style is what you like and
Speaker 1: what you keep liking, and how that translates into how
Speaker 1: you live. Sorry, think about that, and we're gonna get
Speaker 1: even crunchier and more practical with it.
Speaker 4: But first, you're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on
Speaker 4: demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1: We're going into the phones in just a bit. The
Speaker 1: number to reach us eight three three two. Ask Dean
Speaker 1: A three three. The numeral two ask Dean the room
Speaker 1: on the phone lines for you today, So give me
Speaker 1: a call. I'm talking about finding your style today. But
Speaker 1: when it comes to our calls, always, always, always, you
Speaker 1: set the agenda, So anything you want to talk about
Speaker 1: regarding your home design, construction, DIY issues, whatever the case
Speaker 1: may be, inside, outside, landscape, interior decor anything from fixing
Speaker 1: the leaky toilet, fluffing the pillows, to how do we
Speaker 1: pour the foundation or how do I design the dream
Speaker 1: home that I've always wanted, any and all of it.
Speaker 1: I'm here to help. Whatever's got you scratching your head
Speaker 1: about your home eight three three two ask Dean, it's
Speaker 1: just that easy, Okay. Back to the essence of finding
Speaker 1: your style. Okay, Well, first of all, have you thought
Speaker 1: about that through the break if you were with us
Speaker 1: before and if you just joined us, you want to
Speaker 1: make sure you go back and listen to the podcast
Speaker 1: because we've already had it out. Some pearls of wisdom here. Style.
Speaker 1: What is style really? It's repetition, it's routine, It's whatever
Speaker 1: you keep coming back to. It's the things that you like.
Speaker 1: It's the groove. You know. I like that term that's
Speaker 1: an old Is that like a that's like an old
Speaker 1: seventies kind of sixties and seventies kind of term, like
Speaker 1: your groove. But you think about that, if your style
Speaker 1: is described as your groove, that means that you do
Speaker 1: it often enough that you've worn a groove into your life. Right,
Speaker 1: that's it, that's the idea. So why is it even important?
Speaker 1: Is it just kind of theatrics? Is it just vanity?
Speaker 1: I don't think so, And I'll tell you why. The
Speaker 1: great man Winston Churchill once said, this is the most
Speaker 1: one of the most significant statements about architecture, I think
Speaker 1: ever in the history of architecture. And it was uttered
Speaker 1: by a non architect, but I love it anyway. Winston
Speaker 1: Churchill knew this, He had realized this. He said, we
Speaker 1: shape our buildings, and thereafter they shape us. And it's
Speaker 1: so true. It is so true in a thousand tiny ways.
Speaker 1: Every day, the buildings that we dwell in, that we
Speaker 1: move in, they tell us things. They tell us how
Speaker 1: we have to get from here to the bathroom. They
Speaker 1: tell us what we're going to experience as we go there.
Speaker 1: They tell us what a room looks like in the
Speaker 1: morning light or in the last you know, whispers of
Speaker 1: daylight as the sun sets. They tell us all of
Speaker 1: these things. They shape our moods, They shape the way
Speaker 1: we behave, they shape what we see, and they shape
Speaker 1: what we think. In a lot of ways, and so
Speaker 1: it's very true we shape our buildings, therefore thereafter they
Speaker 1: shape us. And this is why finding our style for
Speaker 1: our home is important because to understand your style, to
Speaker 1: embed your style into your home, it then becomes a
Speaker 1: mirror that reflects it back to you and allows you
Speaker 1: just that beautiful kind of hand in glove experience of
Speaker 1: living your life in a space that is truly yours.
Speaker 1: So it's important because our buildings shape us. It's important
Speaker 1: because style is not a fashion thing. Style is repetition,
Speaker 1: it's routine. It's finding out what it is that we're
Speaker 1: all about. And what is the difference between style and fashion.
Speaker 1: By the way, I love this phrase. Style is whatever
Speaker 1: I do and fashion is whatever else everybody else is
Speaker 1: doing to keep up with me. That's true, right A designer,
Speaker 1: a fashion designer comes up with their own unique style
Speaker 1: and and a bunch of people are, you know, chasing
Speaker 1: behind trying to get that look going for themselves. So
Speaker 1: style is whatever you do, and no, you don't have
Speaker 1: to look fashionable to have your own style. That's the
Speaker 1: very essence of it. Style is the root of fashion.
Speaker 1: It's not the fruit of fashion, Okay, it's the root. Okay,
Speaker 1: does your style have to be utterly unique? Well, Uh,
Speaker 1: that's a tricky question because you, I believe, are utterly unique,
Speaker 1: and so on some level, yes, your style should be unique.
Speaker 1: I think the word utterly there is the tricky part.
Speaker 1: Does your style have to be utterly unique? In other words,
Speaker 1: does your style have to be different than everybody else
Speaker 1: in every conceivable way? And I think that's just kind
Speaker 1: of silly and ridiculous, because there are we have We
Speaker 1: all share more things in common than we have differences
Speaker 1: between us, and so there's going to be a lot
Speaker 1: of similarities in between different people's style who have truly
Speaker 1: found their own style. Okay, As they say, it's not
Speaker 1: what you wear, but it's how you wear it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So the idea is that, yeah, to a certain degree,
Speaker 1: that's the that's that's the gold, that in the buried
Speaker 1: treasure to find a few elements of style that for
Speaker 1: you are totally and utterly unique to you. But that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that we have to come up with an
Speaker 1: architectural style that nobody else has ever heard of before
Speaker 1: to express you, or an interior design style or a
Speaker 1: paint color or anything like. We don't have to come
Speaker 1: up with. You know, we don't have to reinvent the
Speaker 1: wheel on every turn because it's just not the way
Speaker 1: life works. So, uh, does your style have to be
Speaker 1: utterly unique? Not utterly unique, but to a certain degree.
Speaker 1: The goal is to find something unique about your style,
Speaker 1: all right? Another question that we get all the time.
Speaker 1: Does my style have to be what my life is
Speaker 1: like now? Or can it be aspirational? Can my style
Speaker 1: that I choose for myself be something that I really
Speaker 1: want to have happen, that I want more of, but
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily reflect where I'm at and what's going on
Speaker 1: with me right now? Okay, yeah, of course, and it
Speaker 1: should be again a mixture of the two, because there's
Speaker 1: something about that style that you're aspiring to that's already
Speaker 1: going on in you. Does that make sense, that's already happening,
Speaker 1: that's already reflecting outwards. You may not be in the
Speaker 1: best medium to express that style fully. I hear it
Speaker 1: all the time. I have a certain style that I want,
Speaker 1: but I find myself in a house that is not
Speaker 1: reflecting that style at all, or maybe the idea like
Speaker 1: even on the big scale that you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: a big fan of tutor houses, but I live in one, okay,
Speaker 1: because this was the one my family needed, This is
Speaker 1: the one that we could afford. This was a lovely home.
Speaker 1: But it's not actually exactly my style. How do we
Speaker 1: get from point A to point Z there? We'll talk
Speaker 1: more about that. But does your style have to be
Speaker 1: what your life is like right now? Or can it
Speaker 1: be aspirational? Of course it can be aspirational. I hope
Speaker 1: you have aspirations to grow and to become and to
Speaker 1: reach out and to be more, and so style this tricky,
Speaker 1: slippery thing. It's a little easier to understand than what
Speaker 1: most people think of. We just need to kind of
Speaker 1: pull back the curtain and essentially see that it's routine, repetition,
Speaker 1: it's whatever you keep coming back to. It's what you like,
Speaker 1: even if what you like is not where you're living,
Speaker 1: and it represents to a certain degree, your authentic life
Speaker 1: as you live it every day. Okay. It can be
Speaker 1: one part aspirational, one part what your life is like now.
Speaker 1: It can be one part very much looks like everybody else,
Speaker 1: what a lot of other people are doing, and one
Speaker 1: part part utter utterly unique. Does that make sense? All right?
Speaker 1: I need a cup of coffee Bees so that I
Speaker 1: can speak my words good gooder than I am doing.
Speaker 1: Right now.
Speaker 4: You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp on demand from
Speaker 4: KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 1: All right, we're going to be going to the phones
Speaker 1: right after the next break, by the way, and the
Speaker 1: number to reach me eight three three to ask Dean
Speaker 1: A three three the numeral two ask Dean. But until then,
Speaker 1: let us continue talking about your style and like, oh
Speaker 1: eye roll major ill my style, Like all right, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but we're trying to break style down here
Speaker 1: this morning so that we can understand it better, especially
Speaker 1: as it relates to your home, giving it handles. Essentially,
Speaker 1: style is repetition, it's routine. It's whatever you keep coming
Speaker 1: back to. It's what you like, it's how you live.
Speaker 1: And it's not following in the footsteps of other fashion
Speaker 1: icons or anything like that, or any style issues that
Speaker 1: you see in magazines. Although these are good clues, they're
Speaker 1: good clues about what you like and how you are,
Speaker 1: but ultimately, you know, your style is something that you've
Speaker 1: got to find for yourself, because you need to know
Speaker 1: yourself well enough to start identifying those things. Now, you
Speaker 1: don't have to design your style. That's what a designer
Speaker 1: is for, not to give you a style, but to
Speaker 1: help you express it, find its edges, to find its contours,
Speaker 1: and it's details, to show you what the possibilities of
Speaker 1: working within your style are and would be. And that's
Speaker 1: why it's a beautiful collaboration. I think, working with clients
Speaker 1: to help them find their expression of themselves in their home,
Speaker 1: and when it's done right, it's not my style overlaid
Speaker 1: onto a home. It's their style magnified and detailed by
Speaker 1: my particular set of gifts to help them along the way,
Speaker 1: to help them find their voice essentially when it comes
Speaker 1: to their home, and then they just get to live
Speaker 1: in that place and enjoy this hand and glove kind
Speaker 1: of experience from there on out. But I've been kind
Speaker 1: of answering some questions regarding style. One of them is
Speaker 1: really honest, what if my style scares me? What if
Speaker 1: what I think secretly is the way that I would
Speaker 1: like to live or the way that I would like
Speaker 1: to be. What if it frightens me on some level?
Speaker 1: What if I don't want anybody else to see it
Speaker 1: because I'm afraid everybody else is gonna think I'm a
Speaker 1: freak or I'm crazy, and you know what, there are
Speaker 1: so many resources for that kind of decision. I mean, essentially,
Speaker 1: on a regular basis, Tina and I help people kind
Speaker 1: of come out of the closet, as it were, with
Speaker 1: their style because they have a lot of people have
Speaker 1: an intrinsic fear that okay, you no, you'd believe me, Dane,
Speaker 1: you don't want to know what my style really is
Speaker 1: because you would just think it's like blah, or you
Speaker 1: would freak you out and you would go running to
Speaker 1: the door because you're like, no, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do that, And that's never the case. It's never ever
Speaker 1: the case. There are always ways to express every imaginable style,
Speaker 1: and there's room in the world forevery imaginable style. So
Speaker 1: what if my style scares me? I mean, that's you're allowed.
Speaker 1: You're allowed, But that's no reason not to pursue it.
Speaker 1: It just simply means get the help, get the help
Speaker 1: that you need to find the way to express it
Speaker 1: that makes you feel most comfortable. Here's another real difficult question,
Speaker 1: what if my style conflicts with my partner's style. Well,
Speaker 1: remember how I said earlier answering the question does your
Speaker 1: style have to be utterly unique? And my answer was
Speaker 1: yes and no. Your style should be unique to you.
Speaker 1: If there isn't some uniqueness, then it's not probably expressing
Speaker 1: the utterly unique person that you are. But the word
Speaker 1: utterly utterly unique. No. No. And here's the thing, as
Speaker 1: somebody who has been with a partner, who lives with
Speaker 1: a partner, who works with a partner, who's virtually with
Speaker 1: my partner twenty four to seven, and I can tell
Speaker 1: you this, Tina and I are very different people in
Speaker 1: our personality structures, and we're very different people, and yet
Speaker 1: yet we have built a home and a life together
Speaker 1: that is very much our style and it is a
Speaker 1: it is how do you describe it, Tina, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a melding of both together in ways
Speaker 1: that that we both want. And I think I think
Speaker 1: there's this concern like, what if my style isn't, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, conflicts with my partner style. Well, if your
Speaker 1: partner doesn't want your style expressed in their life, maybe
Speaker 1: they shouldn't be your partner. Maybe you have the wrong partner. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's kind of that, that's kind of the
Speaker 1: conclusion that that I've come to because there are things
Speaker 1: about you that are so you and that aren't really me,
Speaker 1: that they don't emanate from me the way they emanate
Speaker 1: from you. But I mean, I want you in my life,
Speaker 1: and I also want those things in my life and
Speaker 1: into our home. And so there's this finding of this
Speaker 1: blending of styles, not this no, we got to we
Speaker 1: have to make a decision. Is this the place going
Speaker 1: to be your style or my style? And I just
Speaker 1: don't really find that as a realistic basis for a partnership.
Speaker 1: What do you think? Absolutely not, you have to work together,
Speaker 1: but I think there are ways to do it. How
Speaker 1: have you found in the past that we mix and
Speaker 1: match with folks?
Speaker 5: Well, I think, for example, I think I'm thinking of
Speaker 5: a recent consult where the wife said, I like things
Speaker 5: very orderly and simple, and my husband's more eclectic, and
Speaker 5: he likes to have a lot of things around him
Speaker 5: that remind him of family and artwork and photographs, and
Speaker 5: so they have set up he has her office, he
Speaker 5: has his office, and they really are very different looking,
Speaker 5: but that's their spaces that they've created.
Speaker 1: So they get maximum expression in those spaces, and then
Speaker 1: the rest of the house kind of takes on a
Speaker 1: hybrid form exactly of the two. And it's allowed because
Speaker 1: it's like, who wants to have a room and a
Speaker 1: home in which you've purged your partner's presence entirely. Again,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's necessarily you know, a healthy side.
Speaker 1: I hear it all the time of like she shed
Speaker 1: man cave, I need a place where I just get
Speaker 1: away and it just my place. That's fine, But how
Speaker 1: about the rest of the house. Can the rest of
Speaker 1: the house be our place exactly? And so you can
Speaker 1: find a way. So what if my style conflicts with
Speaker 1: my partner's style? You know, I expect it. I don't
Speaker 1: know about the word conflict, but doesn't line up with
Speaker 1: or isn't the same as sure, And so there's a way.
Speaker 1: There's always a way. I don't expect your style to
Speaker 1: be the same as your partner's style, really, I mean
Speaker 1: because at one point one of us isn't necessary if
Speaker 1: we're just carbon copies of each other. Right, So it's
Speaker 1: not as big of a problem as it would seem. Now,
Speaker 1: A bigger problem is what if my style conflicts with
Speaker 1: my neighbors. That's something we'll address when we return to
Speaker 1: this conversation. But coming up next, we've got a callboard
Speaker 1: full of callers and it is time top of the
Speaker 1: second hour to go to the phone, So go nowhere.
Speaker 1: You're listening to Home with Dean Sharp, the House Whisper
Speaker 1: on KFI. This has been Home with Dean Sharp, the
Speaker 1: House Whisper. Tune into the live broadcast on KFI Am
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