Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike ben and Roe
Speaker 1: and Lee Robertson.
Speaker 2: I remember that they no matter what people say, you
Speaker 2: are enough and we don't need any more of you.
Speaker 2: Oh hello, I'm Mike benn In Rowe and with mid Days.
Speaker 2: Are all faithful, you know, like a geezer.
Speaker 3: It's Lee Robertson.
Speaker 1: Hello, that's rude. Something I might say, there's there's too much.
Speaker 3: Some people. I don't think that.
Speaker 1: No, there's plenty to go around.
Speaker 3: Nobody wants anything.
Speaker 1: What have you for us this week? Well, I'm bringing
Speaker 1: you a story about share because why not?
Speaker 4: And or why not?
Speaker 1: Why not? Because it's only every other week that we
Speaker 1: have a chef story and sorry about he man.
Speaker 2: And then they will be bring us all update with
Speaker 2: something exciting and teaching me a lesson. But on screen
Speaker 2: now you can see how contact details. It's at the
Speaker 2: could TV on social media. I want to catch up
Speaker 2: with previous episodes. Give us a binge. We are on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Look for Chewing the Cud.
Speaker 1: And you can see the names of people have reached
Speaker 1: out and touched our soul going across the bottom of
Speaker 1: the screen. Now, but it's time to go for Mike
Speaker 1: and the buzz.
Speaker 3: How do you feel about elderly parents.
Speaker 1: I think that they exist, Okay, I think that sometimes
Speaker 1: they shouldn't. Okay, but one also has to appreciate that we.
Speaker 3: Come over all all.
Speaker 1: Without them, we would not be here.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: That's very philosophical, isn't it. Otherwise, if the smell a piss,
Speaker 1: get them in a home quick.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: By elder parents, I mean people are older that are
Speaker 2: having children new parents.
Speaker 3: Oh not just old old people, though, mature.
Speaker 1: Parents that have have have birthed a child later in
Speaker 1: life or have adopted a child later in life.
Speaker 2: Anyway, this is a story about two Galapagos tortoises.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's nothing to do with people who have become.
Speaker 2: First time parents at Philadelphia Zoo, which is quite sweet.
Speaker 2: And both daughters are over one hundred years old, which
Speaker 2: is where the link was coming.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, no I didn't, but you also went Dawn
Speaker 3: a rabbit hole.
Speaker 1: I just did want to.
Speaker 3: So, mummy and a Braso, what what's the first mummy?
Speaker 2: Mummy, mommy, mommy, mommy and Abraso abreso basically the one
Speaker 2: hundred years old and they've just given birth to hatchlings.
Speaker 1: Well, they don't give birth, that they lay eggs.
Speaker 3: Okay, find it.
Speaker 2: The mummy has dropped off some eggs and some time
Speaker 2: later hatchlings have come out.
Speaker 3: Going. It's very important. Have they known each other for
Speaker 3: a hundred years? Have they been is that a long term? Really?
Speaker 1: Have they been together for one year? Or have their
Speaker 1: see this is this is where it might lets himself
Speaker 1: down because he doesn't get the facts. They have been
Speaker 1: together quite the facts, and he doesn't know.
Speaker 3: They've been together for quite a number of years.
Speaker 1: Exactly how many.
Speaker 3: Doesn't say.
Speaker 2: But it's the first tortoises hatched in Philadelphia in one
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty years.
Speaker 3: Oh that's nice, isn't it though?
Speaker 1: Yeah, First that they can be very old and still
Speaker 1: be able to have babies, whereas it's not so good
Speaker 1: when humans do that.
Speaker 2: No, but they have not yet named the babies. Oh,
Speaker 2: they're putting out to the public book.
Speaker 1: How many babies are there?
Speaker 3: More than one? Because I'm not going to say a
Speaker 3: number because they die very quickly.
Speaker 1: They do, don't they That's why they lay like fifty eggs.
Speaker 3: In the wild. They're getting they're getting.
Speaker 1: Nom numbed by the those things crabs. They get numbed
Speaker 1: by the crab getting Now that's not tortoises, though, is it.
Speaker 1: That's turtles.
Speaker 3: These are the stump stomps, not the flip flip that's
Speaker 3: a tortoise. That's a tortoise.
Speaker 1: So they don't live near the sea. Sometimes they go
Speaker 1: because it's nice, go to Blackpool. Yeah, but they lay
Speaker 1: their eggs in The turtles lay lots of eggs and
Speaker 1: then the babies come out of the sand and they
Speaker 1: try and get to the sea, and then the crabs
Speaker 1: get them, and then that's when they get sad. Cars.
Speaker 1: I say, where don't you help them? This is what
Speaker 1: I've had sugar today.
Speaker 3: Moving on quite quickly. You like to poop? Do you
Speaker 3: not like to pu say?
Speaker 1: I like to poop. I have to poop. It's a
Speaker 1: necessity life. Unexpectedly sometimes it does happen unexpectedly.
Speaker 3: Okay, So are you picky about where you poop? Oh?
Speaker 1: It depends on the situation. Okay, from touching cloth. I
Speaker 1: don't care where because it needs to come.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: If it's a plan, it's a planned poop. I like
Speaker 1: a little bit of I have certain standards, that's comfort.
Speaker 3: The requirements. Yeah, okay, what kind of comfort requirements do
Speaker 3: you have for planned poop? Because I know if you
Speaker 3: need to go, you're shit in a green bag.
Speaker 1: I recall, I'm not gonna I don't see if I'm
Speaker 1: going to poop. I just need poop, okay, just poop.
Speaker 1: And I'm not one of these people that goes in
Speaker 1: and has to take a newspaper or a tablet and
Speaker 1: sit there for three hours.
Speaker 3: Sometimes take a tablet. He just just a clean toilet,
Speaker 3: perhaps a large kind of air fresh escape if.
Speaker 4: It stinks, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 1: Go back into the office. Just pebble dash that I'd beware.
Speaker 1: Bet the windows open.
Speaker 3: I can just go afterwards, like a match. Oh no,
Speaker 3: you don't like a match.
Speaker 1: Why have you got canary?
Speaker 3: Why that canary died? Yeah, So this is a story
Speaker 3: about a golden toilet.
Speaker 1: A golden toilet, golden.
Speaker 2: Toilet that has been liberated, okay, stolen from Churchill's.
Speaker 1: House, well, the former prime minister.
Speaker 3: That currently very dead Prime Minister Winston Churchill. Yes, here's
Speaker 3: childhood home. He shot on a golden toilet when he
Speaker 3: was a child.
Speaker 1: What a fancy little booker, just posh money.
Speaker 3: There was some sort of who or a king or something.
Speaker 2: So thieves executed a heist in under five minutes and
Speaker 2: stole it. Okay, they have now been taken to court
Speaker 2: and they have James Sheen is this gentleman who's pleaded guilty.
Speaker 3: To stealing it, to stealing the toilet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's called America.
Speaker 3: It's an art installation.
Speaker 1: Oh so it's not an actual toilet. You can't do
Speaker 1: a papoo and what were you in?
Speaker 3: Well, you technically could, but it's an installation there. It
Speaker 3: would just sit there like in IKEA. Oh experience there. Anyway,
Speaker 3: I'm moving on.
Speaker 2: If you have had a poo in a furturee store,
Speaker 2: hes really why not share that with us? We are
Speaker 2: at the Cook TV on social media and that brings
Speaker 2: nice to our story of the week. Do you know
Speaker 2: what the death grip is?
Speaker 3: Is it that thing that spark does booo on people? No?
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know that.
Speaker 3: It's masturbation with a very tight grip. Masturbation made you cringe.
Speaker 1: When you're doing that. You don't want to hurt it.
Speaker 3: No. So this is something called death grip syndrome.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, which is a decreased penal sensitivity resulting in
Speaker 2: frequent aggressive masturbation with a tight grip.
Speaker 1: Oh, aggressive masturbation.
Speaker 3: Aggressive masturbation, right, so you can slam it in the cardoid.
Speaker 3: Oh have you ever had that, have had.
Speaker 1: An aggressive masturbation?
Speaker 3: No, to the point where you've got this greased sensitivity.
Speaker 1: No, I treat it. I treat it like a lace pillow,
Speaker 1: a little setine cushion, You got a cage, put a little.
Speaker 2: Ring bear, I bring the marriage bands.
Speaker 1: Tony toweling, Rowe browns it and I go, are you
Speaker 1: feeling comfortable.
Speaker 3: Warm enough on the top. I'm going to touch you
Speaker 3: with some oil now.
Speaker 1: And I don't go like that, like a like a
Speaker 1: like a jackhammer. That's not I don't treat it like that.
Speaker 1: Don't you anything. Don't treat doesn't have to be penis.
Speaker 1: If you any bits that are down there, just be nice.
Speaker 1: That's my campaign.
Speaker 3: Just be nice to your bits. Don't be horrible to
Speaker 3: your flaps, A lovely to your genitalia.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, eat it nice, treat it nice, don't keep
Speaker 2: it me and keep it keen.
Speaker 3: You know you've been nice to it and spit in
Speaker 3: your eye.
Speaker 1: Yes, so, yeah, you don't like the type that does
Speaker 1: angry banks angry froch.
Speaker 3: They can build up some pace. You bitch like that
Speaker 3: other people do?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Okay, always on my own.
Speaker 1: Do you like other people to give you a an
Speaker 1: aggressive masturbate.
Speaker 3: A couple of breaks? Answer that question, you're going to
Speaker 3: say yes. That's all from the Buzz this week.
Speaker 4: Thanks Mike.
Speaker 1: I think we've opened the door there that we want
Speaker 1: to slam your cockain anyway.
Speaker 3: At least don't feel it, but stick around because I
Speaker 3: come up. Next. We have Showbiz from.
Speaker 2: Lee Welcome back and you're watching you in the cud.
Speaker 3: This is the part of the show.
Speaker 2: We'll look into the sparkly world of celebrity media in
Speaker 2: show Bizwiddley, what was that face?
Speaker 3: This is my face?
Speaker 1: Okay. We can talk about the franchise that is very
Speaker 1: dear to your heart, the MoMA Mia films.
Speaker 3: Okay, how I feel about the Mama Films.
Speaker 1: We're getting another one Mom and Mia three?
Speaker 3: Is it only three?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: It's like fast and furious.
Speaker 1: Well, apparently it will only happen if Cher agrees to
Speaker 1: be in it.
Speaker 3: Okay, cours not happening and very much.
Speaker 1: She's like nearly eight, isn't she so? Amanda Seafreed, who
Speaker 1: is there plays the daughter in the films, has kind
Speaker 1: of said that the third film has kind of been with.
Speaker 3: How many more songs can they put in a film?
Speaker 3: There are no more songs. It's got to be a
Speaker 3: song left.
Speaker 1: Surely just repeat them. Anyway, it's going to be the
Speaker 1: third Stormon and she said, we've written it.
Speaker 3: That's not going to work. She's dead. She's not oh
Speaker 3: in the film, she's dead.
Speaker 1: If you want to do the ghost in the second one,
Speaker 1: did she come back as a ghost? Well, Share played
Speaker 1: Sophie's grandmother, who is the mother to Meryl Street, and
Speaker 1: she says, not really embarrassed, She wasn't any for very long.
Speaker 1: She did that. She arrived in a helicopter and went.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Share, No is your live's of impression again?
Speaker 1: The party started something like that anyway, Yeah she did.
Speaker 1: She went, yeah it's Jackie.
Speaker 3: Did that's a Big Brothers love. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, she's seventy eighth ha, And she said hopefully I'll
Speaker 1: live long enough. Yeah, well, yeah, will live long enough
Speaker 1: for us to cut her out on some strings, dust down,
Speaker 1: dance around. Yes, she said, to be fair, at this point,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to do it without her.
Speaker 3: For like ten minutes. Yeah, I'm not feeling it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: are you not? No, I think Mum and Mire one,
Speaker 3: well it's just me and we all were like, oh.
Speaker 1: That's good, we like it. Yeah, Marjorine on toast. Mammia
Speaker 1: three nothing so yeah, yeah, says she'll do it, she's
Speaker 1: not dead. Mamble Streep says she'll put it over it
Speaker 1: and be a ghost. There we go. Yeah, okay, whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: Tom Daily, Tom Daly he is. He is a diver,
Speaker 1: a diver. He is a swimmer. Well, he has to
Speaker 1: swim because otherwise if.
Speaker 3: He's to the end of the plow, you just have
Speaker 3: to go far. They don't have a big net to
Speaker 3: fish him out. Can only dive.
Speaker 2: I'm not a very strugge that can fall into water beautifully.
Speaker 3: He also knits things. He does Willie Wamas does.
Speaker 1: He in your mind? He does? Anyway, that's that's him,
Speaker 1: that's his that's him diving. So he's the world he's
Speaker 1: going to there's going to be pointing at it.
Speaker 3: He's going to be.
Speaker 1: Releasing the hounds. A documentary called one point six seconds,
Speaker 1: which is named after the ten meter diving event time
Speaker 1: between falling off the edge of the third thing I'm
Speaker 1: hitting the water all launching yourself.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, this looks good.
Speaker 1: As they fall, they pulled some very odd faces, don't
Speaker 1: they when when they when they're diving like a sex doll. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's going to feature his career from the build ups
Speaker 1: his first Olympics in Beijing in twenty two thousand and
Speaker 1: eight when he was fourteen years old, all the way
Speaker 1: through to Tokyo twenty twenty and his final Olympic appearance
Speaker 1: in Paris in twenty twenty four. So they've been filming
Speaker 1: this for like decades, is it decades two thousand and four?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, twenty years ago two thousand and four.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god. So it's going to
Speaker 1: feature exclusive footage of personal family films, interviews with daily
Speaker 1: those that are closure and that's his husband and those films.
Speaker 3: That's cute, that's cute, that's cute.
Speaker 2: Subject wave to daddy and then you're going no knack him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going to have his mum's going to be
Speaker 1: in it, his husband's going to be in it. It's
Speaker 1: been written by some personal person who won oscars and stuff.
Speaker 1: It's first coach who coaching to Olympic Gold link Olympic Gold. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so yeah, it's going to be out, so apparently it's included.
Speaker 1: It's I don't remember this. It was produced by the
Speaker 1: same people who did indie films Billy Piper's Rare Beasts.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that.
Speaker 3: You don't remember Billy Piper's Rare Beasts.
Speaker 1: No, you need to watch it.
Speaker 2: It's cinematic mass, cinematic masterpiece.
Speaker 1: I thought we're saying Masterbaory and Alice Lowe's prevenging time Stalker.
Speaker 1: Don't know. So it will be aired in the US
Speaker 1: this summer on whatever it is the US puts things on.
Speaker 3: There's like a sports channel ESPN some of that which
Speaker 3: Charl's are going to be on. Half the story really.
Speaker 1: The US territories outside of Europe, but in the UK
Speaker 1: we'll broadcasted on Max and Discovery. Okay, so you'll have
Speaker 1: to download them. Oh then on your spot. Did these
Speaker 1: words mean nothing to me?
Speaker 3: Your sport? Yeah, you're a sport.
Speaker 1: So if you want to see is speed out, get
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 3: This is a bit exciting. Okay.
Speaker 1: We were a Heman fan back in the back in
Speaker 1: the eighties.
Speaker 3: In the early nineties, I was a human fan. Shut up,
Speaker 3: just shut up.
Speaker 1: So you weren't a fan of the original eighties cartoon.
Speaker 3: Eighties cartoon, but watching in the nineties, Oh you' watching
Speaker 3: the night because he did another one in the and
Speaker 3: that wasn't so good. I enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: The human cartoons, Yeah, that's the eighties one many many
Speaker 1: a baby gailing and a baby lesbian flick there that
Speaker 1: was very, very, very homo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it always had a very worthy message at
Speaker 3: the end of At the.
Speaker 1: End it was like, oh, today you've learned not to
Speaker 1: shove cucumbers up your ass without.
Speaker 3: Loo more about not littering and stuff and don't drop
Speaker 3: people but.
Speaker 1: Drop Chris packets or fist you This isn't you Fisto?
Speaker 1: That Fisto was a character. They knew what they were doing.
Speaker 1: You could buy the toys. It's not coming bomb anyway,
Speaker 1: there's going to be. So there was a Dodgy film
Speaker 1: in the kind of sort of early nineties. No, it
Speaker 1: was Dolph Lundgren. Ok, yeah, but it's coming back how
Speaker 1: they do everything, So it's gonna start. Nicholas Gals is
Speaker 1: this him? Gals are teen Galas are tea zine him?
Speaker 1: Now he has been in lots of you think he's
Speaker 1: been in kind of like teen films and stuff like
Speaker 1: that bulked the ship out for himself obviously because he's
Speaker 1: he Man Innicus, he Man's bulk buff. It's also going
Speaker 1: to be starring Jaredlito skeletor.
Speaker 2: Okay, there the very small revealing.
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's been no fail there's been no
Speaker 1: official photos field of how the characters are going to look.
Speaker 1: That's kind of like him obviously off to Jim to
Speaker 1: pretty guy. See. The only thing that that wasn't keen
Speaker 1: on with he Man was was his hair. But he
Speaker 1: did stop making a wank.
Speaker 3: Me when you said that.
Speaker 1: He did like.
Speaker 3: And having.
Speaker 1: It's also going to be starring Idris elba as Man
Speaker 1: at Arms. Oh so these are these aren't official? The
Speaker 1: kind of AI don't okay? As what that breast there?
Speaker 1: It's very muscular, very muscular looks zigzags and out there.
Speaker 1: That's not Is that a top? I don't know?
Speaker 3: So yeah, it pointed it away. It's not Grinder.
Speaker 1: It's going to be out next year, but they're filming
Speaker 1: it now and they're filming in London, so I'm getting
Speaker 1: myself a look on a train down London. Ask people
Speaker 1: were the film and e Man, Bob's your uncle Fanny Tramp.
Speaker 1: I was more of a she rah.
Speaker 3: I can see me more care bears you were?
Speaker 1: You were not really care bears? She rare because I
Speaker 1: wanted to be she rare. But also don't you say
Speaker 1: wow in my ear?
Speaker 4: And the wow.
Speaker 1: She rah? But okay, there was a very there was
Speaker 1: a very handsome character in she called Boh who had
Speaker 1: a mustache. And if I.
Speaker 5: Hm, hmmm, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm still sticking on the fact that you're saying you
Speaker 2: weren't into the care bears.
Speaker 3: I know it wasn't you are now you have some
Speaker 3: in your car?
Speaker 1: No, have you got rid of the care best I've
Speaker 1: ever had a care bear. I've got a full parcel
Speaker 1: ledge full of Barbie dolls. But that's just me.
Speaker 3: That's what they're called in your car in the Victorian Times.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 3: That's it for the show His News this week.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure what to say. Thank you for the
Speaker 3: he Man is coming back.
Speaker 4: This out.
Speaker 3: All the insights to your childhood.
Speaker 1: And it's best to mate Cristco ha. Oh we made
Speaker 1: ourselves laugh, didn't we.
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: So don't go anywhere because there's more of this golf
Speaker 1: coming soon and we're going to be having the Game
Speaker 1: of the Week to play.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to cheering the cud with Big Mike, Benny
Speaker 2: Row and a stroke ubsairs Lee Robertson. Now that's the
Speaker 2: part of show why we play a little game and
Speaker 2: this is for the man who in a WhatsApp group
Speaker 2: has admitted I'm not going to share that with you,
Speaker 2: but I'll share the pictures with you later so you
Speaker 2: can judge yourself.
Speaker 1: Lee off, your pop stroke has in touching things, not
Speaker 1: stroking as in.
Speaker 4: Day of the Week.
Speaker 2: So we're going to play a new game called who
Speaker 2: and What, And this is where Lee is going to
Speaker 2: act an action as a famous celebrity type of person
Speaker 2: and I have to work out what they're doing and
Speaker 2: who is so.
Speaker 3: Your first one, So you've got to guess who I
Speaker 3: am and what I'm doing, Lee Robertson, my titson.
Speaker 1: I haven't started. I just I'm just getting I'm just
Speaker 1: finding my center. O. Hello lovey, Yeah, hello Ove. I'll
Speaker 1: have I'll have other more copies, Sweetie.
Speaker 3: Joanna Lumley, poor ring a coffee who It's the only
Speaker 3: impression you can do.
Speaker 1: We will say next one. Hi, Hi, I got to
Speaker 1: get that fiche from the water. Wa for d you
Speaker 1: know what I talk about? Hi, I'm taking a break
Speaker 1: from it. Denise money to.
Speaker 3: I know that is Scholfield.
Speaker 6: No, okay, no, hen.
Speaker 1: Go, we want some we want a big FIGI, we
Speaker 1: want a little fichie.
Speaker 3: We're gonna catch you. We're gonna put it in a butcket.
Speaker 2: Where is this person from exact?
Speaker 4: Leah?
Speaker 3: Because you sow did you bacon for part of that?
Speaker 1: It's a fine line really between the two.
Speaker 3: I give up, give up, I give up. That's Gino
Speaker 3: de Campo going fishing. I didn't say it was gonna
Speaker 3: be good.
Speaker 1: You know you didn't. This one might be slightly better,
Speaker 1: probably won't be okay. Oh no, I'm gonna get your love.
Speaker 4: I missed a buss.
Speaker 3: What happened to the time?
Speaker 4: Answer?
Speaker 1: It does not happen.
Speaker 3: You're doing an Italian accent. Oh my god, Oh no,
Speaker 3: I cannot be late.
Speaker 2: Alone.
Speaker 4: Did not go off her very sad?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: Hi, but I look at there in the end.
Speaker 3: I don't know you know what that is?
Speaker 1: Do I?
Speaker 3: Oh, don't take on me because I am late. Oh
Speaker 3: if this is what I think it is, now is
Speaker 3: that Elmo being late?
Speaker 1: Yes, Elmoby.
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm being lived for work.
Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Elma. That what I did? No? No, Hi,
Speaker 4: I'm Elma.
Speaker 3: I like it when you take on me. Is he
Speaker 3: from the south? Is he from the south of my version?
Speaker 1: I am?
Speaker 3: Heh know mine?
Speaker 1: Was there anywhare?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure who that is?
Speaker 3: Sorry, I won't be I'll have a clue when you
Speaker 3: do the act. Okay. Oh, no, it's such fun to
Speaker 3: speak to you. Yes, it's from what's his name? Can't
Speaker 3: catch me. I'm like a whipp it. That one, not
Speaker 3: Louis Walsh, does.
Speaker 4: Not catch me.
Speaker 1: I'm a whipp it.
Speaker 3: It's very countful from Pineapple Dance Studios.
Speaker 1: No, it's not Louis Spence. No, it's okay again, do
Speaker 1: it again? Such fun speaking to you today. I'm the
Speaker 1: the very just sat here and I thought, I don't
Speaker 1: really know anymore of that.
Speaker 3: Kim would burn.
Speaker 1: No, it was Miranda Heart phoning a friend, you know,
Speaker 1: Miranda fre Miranda Show.
Speaker 2: So if you said it's like such fun, I did
Speaker 2: like fourteen times.
Speaker 3: And fruit friends and boob clap.
Speaker 1: I sound such fun? Did you?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Will you mind the tax? Smart okay, God.
Speaker 3: When you laughed as darling, how do.
Speaker 1: We do this one? Because I'm not doing them, I'm
Speaker 1: doing one of their characters.
Speaker 3: Oh, let's add a lectal lay of complexity to this.
Speaker 1: Idea, because because I don't know what they.
Speaker 3: Let's just do it. Oh did you just cop?
Speaker 1: Oh it's very hot and I have here, doesn't explode
Speaker 1: and burn mayor?
Speaker 3: Hey, I was wrong?
Speaker 1: Just give up?
Speaker 3: Then?
Speaker 2: Was it?
Speaker 1: Did you give up?
Speaker 3: I really give up? That was?
Speaker 1: That was Catherin Tate doing the gram running away from
Speaker 1: a volcano anyway, oh God, from a volcano. I don't
Speaker 1: know what she's I don't know what voice she doesn't normally.
Speaker 3: Did me decade?
Speaker 1: Didn't know?
Speaker 3: Did? That would have been one?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: But you want your mate, I don't want to make
Speaker 3: with you, Sunshine. Dr Who references would have worked there.
Speaker 1: I don't watch Doctor Who.
Speaker 3: Well that's your bid accuracy.
Speaker 1: Okay, right, Oh damn.
Speaker 3: Next one, liberty would have been a grand phrase.
Speaker 1: I was getting confused with the different grands because there's
Speaker 1: the Grand there's Catherine take ground, and then there's the
Speaker 1: old gets from Harry Enfield, And I think I was
Speaker 1: getting computed different people. Okay, let's get the next one.
Speaker 4: The next one, shut shouting. I don't know where I'm going.
Speaker 4: I'm going left right.
Speaker 5: So I'm going to get some standards. But then you
Speaker 5: went brummy for.
Speaker 1: Some reason because here they are from there, they are
Speaker 1: from them?
Speaker 4: Should oh? Which he left? Is he right? You asked,
Speaker 4: Kenny Collie, what are you doing? Oh about this hurd
Speaker 4: off about I don't know what you're fucking up people?
Speaker 1: And what's he?
Speaker 4: I don't know how he has?
Speaker 3: Asking for directions obviously which win?
Speaker 4: Agoy?
Speaker 3: Need the next want to get.
Speaker 1: I'm flying through these. Oh god, I'm good. I'm going
Speaker 1: to put in the busy glues.
Speaker 3: Chris, you bank, who.
Speaker 1: Are you doing with a cub?
Speaker 3: Yes, it was supposed to be my Mike Tyson playing
Speaker 3: the guitar up the ass.
Speaker 1: That was the that's what I thinking did in snatch games.
Speaker 1: She did him what was it? Monare exchange? And I
Speaker 1: was very much let cub Yes, oh god, almighty, oh
Speaker 1: dear right.
Speaker 3: This this will have to do.
Speaker 1: This is the last one. Yeah, all right, of you
Speaker 1: sit down because I'm going to teach her how to
Speaker 1: do some some work.
Speaker 3: Got my big boots, Yeah one plus one.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 3: Katie Price teaching math.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as we all pray for the sweet release of death,
Speaker 2: stick around because have this short break.
Speaker 3: We're going to learn something with Leeann Teach me a lesson.
Speaker 2: Welcome back, and you are still watching Mike and lean
Speaker 2: and during the cud. Now we're going to learn something
Speaker 2: new in teach me a lesson.
Speaker 1: I'm not in my usual art studio this week. I
Speaker 1: have been graciously allowed to borrow Fanny's kitchen because she's she's.
Speaker 3: Just away for a little while.
Speaker 1: She's gone for a small procedure to tighten tighten things up. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're pulled the blind down obviously, because we don't want
Speaker 1: I want lolligaggers looking through the window keeping toms that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. AnyWho, So we're going to do something
Speaker 1: that is all the rage on the TikTok apparently with
Speaker 1: the youth. Okay, because the youth, they haven't got time
Speaker 1: to like do things properly. They just want a quick
Speaker 1: fix for everything. Okay, and apparently the lads t Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you, if you are a student, perhaps living in a.
Speaker 3: In you're about to say student digs them't you and
Speaker 3: you haven't got a haven't got a cooker.
Speaker 1: But you have got an iron, you may be able
Speaker 1: to firstly iron your clothes so you don't like such
Speaker 1: a tramp my issue, and cook yourself a lovely meal. Okay,
Speaker 1: not the other way around. Do do the ironing first,
Speaker 1: then cook. So, okay, you've got a chopping board in
Speaker 1: front of you.
Speaker 3: I do have a chopping board.
Speaker 1: You've got some grease, pepper, pepper leg Yeah, you've got
Speaker 1: a very hot iron.
Speaker 3: I do have a hot iron.
Speaker 1: And you have got some bigonn okay, and some sousages.
Speaker 3: I do have a little parcel of meats.
Speaker 1: We're going to try and cook it using an iron, okay.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm not gonna say do it all at once, okay,
Speaker 1: because I think that would be foolish.
Speaker 3: That's the thing that's foolish.
Speaker 1: Yes, that is the thing that will be foolish. So
Speaker 1: take one of your sheets of paper paper and choose.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with a slice of bacon purse. Okay,
Speaker 1: apologies to all the vegetarian I might go with a
Speaker 1: sausage and vegans out there.
Speaker 3: This is actual animal flesh.
Speaker 1: Animal flesh, Okay, I have a sausage on paper. Now
Speaker 1: what do I do What have you done with your sausage?
Speaker 3: I put it on paper, right, let me just put
Speaker 3: my slash a biting sausage.
Speaker 1: I'm going to rat, I'm gonna I'm gonna put it
Speaker 1: that way. So then you need to kind of like
Speaker 1: put a piece fold it so that there's a piece
Speaker 1: of greaseboose paper over the top.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Now, a sausage is a substantial shape. It is, so
Speaker 1: you may have to squash your sage.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll squash my sausage. How do I squash my sausage.
Speaker 1: With your fist.
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Evenly?
Speaker 3: Well, I can't punch evenly.
Speaker 1: Just let have noise that you have, so we know
Speaker 1: what you know of that noise.
Speaker 3: Through the power of my touch, it's doubled in length.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, wow wow. So we have now prepared
Speaker 1: the stuff to be cooked. Okay. So I'm get your iron,
Speaker 1: put it on the highest setting, okay, and then we're
Speaker 1: just gonna iron it like you was you would be
Speaker 1: ironing a sock.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's sizzling already. Is your sausage now? I think, oh?
Speaker 1: Mine is. You've got a kind of light hold it
Speaker 1: in different parts for a few seconds, and then move
Speaker 1: it across.
Speaker 3: Oh you see, I just left mine on.
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna reveal
Speaker 1: my bacon.
Speaker 3: Okay already, Oh my god, it is cooked. That's barely cooled.
Speaker 3: It's barely cook keep cooking.
Speaker 1: But it's on its way.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get that going again. I'm gonna gonna
Speaker 3: flip it. Oh oh, we're getting adventual.
Speaker 1: One said, I'm gonna flip reverse it. They're thinking about
Speaker 1: anal sex's not Oh can you hear it? I'm gonna
Speaker 1: turn oh, turning it over, and I think I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna give it a few more and then i'm gonna
Speaker 1: try I'm gonna try another thing. Because we also have
Speaker 1: some what they call these bitter breads. Bitter breads, you
Speaker 1: can do the same thing that you're gonna pop that
Speaker 1: to one side. I would suggest, how and how is
Speaker 1: your sausage doing?
Speaker 3: My sausage looks bloody, delicious? Oh okay, you mean it's
Speaker 3: like it's been run us.
Speaker 1: Like rope kill.
Speaker 3: As I said, delicious.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do my sausage. You might want to
Speaker 1: try your bacon. Okay, what did I do it over?
Speaker 3: Oh? It does look like a penis.
Speaker 1: I need to cook it though. Yeah. Oh it's spreading out.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Look look it's a cock.
Speaker 3: That's how mine started, actual cock.
Speaker 1: I'm hungry. It's what how did you How did you
Speaker 1: cook your sausage?
Speaker 3: I'll put the iron on top of it.
Speaker 1: And where did you just leave it just like that?
Speaker 1: Did you not move it around?
Speaker 2: I gave it a bit of a push to start with,
Speaker 2: to make sure it's nice and flat.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, well that's cocking. I'm gonna I'm gonna open
Speaker 1: my pitter bread with scalpel, obviously, that's what I can
Speaker 1: never open bits of breads.
Speaker 3: Can you not? No, I'd like to know the trick.
Speaker 1: What's the toad? Do you open a bit of bread?
Speaker 3: So if you push the edges.
Speaker 2: Like that, there'll a As you do that, you'll find
Speaker 2: that one edge opens up a little bit more than
Speaker 2: the other. And then you just gently put your finger
Speaker 2: in and tease your finger in gently and slowly, and
Speaker 2: then you go around the outside.
Speaker 3: Now I'm doing this without a knife, and I'm managing.
Speaker 4: To do it.
Speaker 1: It's not working, Mike.
Speaker 3: Are you not fingering it gently enough?
Speaker 1: Then? Just something out just around the rim.
Speaker 3: Just around the rim and then get your finger in. Cool,
Speaker 3: so you get one finger in, and then you get
Speaker 3: two fingers in.
Speaker 1: I hate it up a little bit more, and.
Speaker 3: Three fingers in.
Speaker 1: How's your bacon doing.
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's cooking at the minute. Let's see,
Speaker 3: it's getting there. It's getting there.
Speaker 1: Oh look at that. That's not appealing, is it?
Speaker 3: What mouths? I'm not convinced, Mike.
Speaker 1: I'm not convinced on the sausage. I'm gonna turn it
Speaker 1: over and cook it on the other side.
Speaker 3: So why are we doing this?
Speaker 1: Lee? Because it popped up on my my Instagram feed
Speaker 1: and I thought, you know what, I'm sick of glueing
Speaker 1: old bits of shit together.
Speaker 3: Let's try ironing food.
Speaker 4: Instead.
Speaker 1: Okay, just try new things. In twenty twenty five year
Speaker 1: are being alive?
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 1: Until you eat raw with sausage meat and then die.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you see the thing is it's this is not
Speaker 3: cooking my bacon as much as it cooked my sausage.
Speaker 1: Well, it's not pecuman because my bacon cooked. You have
Speaker 1: to turn it over to huh, you have to turn
Speaker 1: it over.
Speaker 3: I did turn it over?
Speaker 1: Are you putting? I have gone bare back direct heat
Speaker 1: on the bacon like that's.
Speaker 3: A weird thing to do. It's like, what kind of
Speaker 3: crazy person to put direct heat on food? Now?
Speaker 1: But no, not an iron?
Speaker 4: Hahuh.
Speaker 1: I'm not happy with the look of that art. I'm
Speaker 1: going to have to pick it up on and have
Speaker 1: to put it inside with titter. Oh, it does not
Speaker 1: feel nine. I don't not like this sensation. It's very hot.
Speaker 3: But it's just been flatted by an iron. Do you
Speaker 3: think you'll get on being flatted by Do you know
Speaker 3: what these? Okay, I've made an error here?
Speaker 1: What's your error?
Speaker 3: It stuck to that?
Speaker 1: I am ah.
Speaker 3: Hap stuck? Oh dear, oh dear, what does that remind you?
Speaker 6: Are?
Speaker 3: My baker looks actually edible here?
Speaker 1: Have you een it?
Speaker 3: No, I'm just saying it looks it's cooked.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's still steaming. My bak is definitely cooked.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not convinced it is cooked. That sausage
Speaker 1: is not. That sausage has got me worried.
Speaker 3: M Let me see it is cooked all the way through.
Speaker 1: It doesn't look good, though, does it.
Speaker 3: You put cheap sasages.
Speaker 1: That's why.
Speaker 3: That might be cheese bitter.
Speaker 1: There we go well, that's almost the end of the
Speaker 1: show for this week. But on screen now you can
Speaker 1: see our contact details. It's at the culd TV on
Speaker 1: your social media and if you want to catch up
Speaker 1: with previous episodes, you can always binge LS with a
Speaker 1: Sausage sandwich by looking for Chewing the Cud.
Speaker 3: Thank you for watching and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 3: Bye bye.