Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons. Throwing some ice,
mixing some vodka colored a podcast from the Mac of
All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler
Dots jeep Ram. It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast. Hello
and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Thanks for
telling a friend. That's how we spread the word about
the pirate ship.
Speaker 2: Look, ito's here, Doug a fresh baby.
Speaker 1: Dirty Martinis my last night or so kicking in? Yeah,
did you have dirty martine? Oh? Yeah, that's right, I did. Yeah,
how many? How many dirty Martins? Three or four? Three
or four? And them? And you're a heavy poor I am. Yeah, Yeah,
you shared them.
Speaker 2: I shared a friend having some problems, and yeah, she
wanted to come over and talk yanky panky she oh
she somebody.
Speaker 1: Hadn't seen a long time. Really. I actually joked with her, Yeah,
what was the joke that I go?
Speaker 2: You must have been really at the bottom of the
barrel to text me. I mean, don't you haven't seen
her in.
Speaker 1: Like ten years? Was she honest or did she? Yeah?
She goes, Well, I text a couple of friends. I
just needed to get out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just needed somebody like I'm the last, you know,
bottom of the barrel. Then you had to you had
to tip the barrel over, and there I was.
Speaker 1: But could could you replace yourself in the pecking order?
Speaker 2: I don't think I want to be replacing the pecking order.
The girl's got some problems. So I mean, I'm a
good listener. Yeah, sometimes you just gotta pillow. Talk is great,
but we were for putting it over so I didn't
have to listen anymore. She had problems with guys and
work and a broken ankle, no car and no driver's
license and getting her to permit and kid taking her
kid to school with a bus because now she lives
too far and I'm just listening and those dry Martinez
are just going down. Yes, yes, yes, you want some
of this? Oh yeah, I mean she was grabbing for it,
and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like grabbing for the drink. Oh I wasn't sure. I
just then, being recent, take advantage of this nulnerable situation
to add to the problem, or just take some of
the burden off her and take on her problems. I'd
be the burden on her. Well, that's what i mean.
I'm just saying, like you could, but you could relieve yourself. Therefore,
if you know what I'm saying and then have more
capacity for her true, just saying, Doug, I think we're on.
I think as you.
Speaker 2: Get older, yes, you think about the outcomes more than
when you're young to I have a chance to score
and let's just get on and whatever happens happens. Now
you're older, like, it's that whatever happens happens, you don't want.
You have gum on your shoe and you're like, gosh, damn,
this just won't go away.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, sometimes life with well it does. I think that.
Speaker 2: Being a friend is one thing listening. She didn't need
the night out.
Speaker 1: She's sure. She gave me a nice long hug. But
where was the dark? Dirney Martini s at you're home
in my house? Yeah, you want to go for a drink.
I'm like, she knows where you live. I'm just it
was dark.
Speaker 2: I picked her up being responsible, I ubered her home
and I told her I'm not I'll over your home.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't drink a drive anymore. So, Well,
I think that that's important. I was going to say,
when it when it comes to relationships, like now, when
you're older, it's probably the way we always should have
done it, to be quite honest with you, but a
lot of times you just you don't know. And when
you're younger, drama's sort of part of the game. It is.
It is part of the game, and you're into it
a little bit, and as you get older, you go, oh,
that doesn't feel as good anymore. And I didn't like
the way that turned out. And it's all part of
the match raisings. Yeah. I mean, I've been talking to
my son who's twenty three and not having a great
time at it the job he's at, and can be
very vocal about things. And I said to him the
other day, Igo, you're twenty three, I said, I sent
you an article saying that your twenty should be a
time to go and do stuff. I said, you shouldn't
get yourself into the corporate nine to five and anchored
down to a job, because that's what you've been conditioned
to do. Who's responsible for my conditioning? I go, well,
who is the one who's always been telling you? Go
do whatever you want? I came back here after I
tore my shoulder, and Saint Louis and I'm he's got
a four to zero in his master's program. That's wonderful
and it's online, so that's great. But I'm I'm like, yeah,
but I didn't tell you to come back. What did
I tell you? You told me go anywhere. I'm like, yeah,
I'm like, you're young, I said, I have been trying
to tell my sons to spend your summers in Martha's
Vineyard being a waiter or a bartender, and then go
out to the Rockies and do that in the winter
and in Veil or Aspen or Park City, Utah or something,
because I knew people who did it in the early
nineties and they had the most magical life, and they
were in their twenties. You have no responsibility. You don't
realize how much responsibility you don't have until you no
longer have it. Right but right, because everything changes on
a dime, and that's the way life should be. But
you know, I was saying to somebody the other day,
you get to do whatever you want. The window closes.
Maybe it was you. The window opens again later in life,
but that now your hip hurts and you're tired early,
and you don't have the same energy, and you don't
feel like who wants to hire you? In Martha's vineyard,
and who wants to hire you know what I'm saying, right, Like,
I know, no, so that window does close? Rocky mountains
are your hemorrhoids? Now? Yeah, man, exactly what are you
trying to tell me that? I'm just say so so
that that's all. And I but he's going on and
I said, I can't get it till it's too late
that you get. Well, that's what I'm saying, that old
saying that youth is wasted on the young, you know,
youth and beauty or got on wisdoms here to stay
the idea that so for him, I'm like, but he's like,
you don't understand. And then I keep hearing about I said,
why don't you if you're not happy doing whatever you're doing,
go be a bartender. I that's a step backwards. I go,
step backwards. I go, you want to talk about step backwards,
I'll tell you about a step backwards. I go. Look
at me. He's like, what I go. Every radio show
I was on was number one, every one of them.
I got to number one. I never was not number
one at some point on every show I was on.
And I go, and when I made the change. And
then my other son comes to live with me. I'm flattered.
I'm happy he wants to But then I realized, ooh,
I got to do something else, and I'm substitution and
now I'm teaching in an elementary like kindergarten. I go,
you talk about I walked into the cafeteria. This is
not a lie. I will tell you this story. I
have not shared this. I walk into the cafeteria the
other day because with the elementary kids, you got to
help them through the food line. And the lady looks
at me from behind the counter and she says, now,
I've been there for a while, and she said to me,
do you know what you look like? And I'm waiting
to hear right, because a lot of times the kids
will tell me I look like Alec Baldwin when he
was in Cat in the Hat. That's why I would
get from some of the kids older. Yeah, he played
in Cat in the Hat. He was one of the
not a cat, but he was like a boss of
something or something. Okay, okay, And I heard that a
lot when I was around high school kids. I heard
of it. So this woman goes, you look like Bill
Moran from the radio and I thought maybe it was
a joke. And I said, well, I am Bill Moran
from the radio, and she went, oh my god, it's
like I loved your show. I didn't like when you
talked a lot of sports. She goes, but I loved
everything else. And I thought that's great. And you could
say it's a step back, but to me, it's an evolution.
There's something else happening here that's bigger, and I've got more.
I've got a lot all of a sudden, this past week,
it's been like a lot of shit has been percolating.
And it's good. It's good stuff. It's good stuff for
the podcast, good stuff for other podcasts, all that shit.
But it's but it's a weird thing. And I go
the idea that anybody at any point goes, I'm taking
a step back. No, you're right where you should be
right now. So but in any moment, you have a choice,
and I tell this to the boys all the time.
You have two choices. One is to go with the
moment and do whatever feels the best in that moment,
do it to its fullest, and don't worry about the outcome,
and usually everything's gonna be great or sit in fear
and go, I can't do that and then be miserable.
And that's your choice. That's completely your choice, right, Yeah,
but it took I didn't know that at twenty three myself. No,
you know what I'm saying, I had no idea. What right?
I mean? If you could put together your fantasy league
of advisors for your life, who would be your number one?
Pick Dad? Like you know, I was thinking about that.
I go, Warren Buffett would be one, because financially, I
was never taught how to do that stuff and invest
wisely and look for things and you know all that.
That would be my number one. If I had a
fantasy board of advisors. And I'm like with my kid,
I go, I'm not trying to tell you how to
live your life, because it's not mine. But what I'm
hearing is you're miserable. And I'm saying, why you're twenty three? Right? Why?
Oh boy?
Speaker 2: So anyway, Doug brought it in a bag and he
had it on the chair. Oh and I rolled over it.
Speaker 1: Yes, I said that I think it's deviled eggs. It's
not eggs, it's not doubleggs, it's not just buddy. Whenever
you need.
Speaker 2: When you're down and lonely. I've listened to that clip
every day for the past weeks when.
Speaker 1: We were laughing our asses off because I passed out
watching the next game. But they won that one. Yes, yeah,
Then I fell asleep this week and they lost. But
I didn't have cheetos. Now I do, and it's not
easy being cheesed. Oh god, that is the funnies. That
was so funny. It was it was so true, it
was all true.
Speaker 2: I went to bed without brushing my teeth and put
my mouthguard in eyes, pissing myself every time I hear that,
How bad is it? You're just so I ain't fucking
brushing my teeth this, I'm going to bed.
Speaker 1: But I think everybody's been there at some point in
their life.
Speaker 2: Right, it's session whether I'm brushing my teeth tonight, like, oh.
Speaker 1: Gosh, I think that. Uh yeah, we make shit harder
than it needs to be in our own mind.
Speaker 2: Oh, blessure, it's you.
Speaker 1: I'm allergic to you. Yes.
Speaker 2: I went to the doctor in the day. I said, Doc,
every time I sneeze, I come, He goes, what are
you taking for it?
Speaker 1: I said, pepper d dent. That was actually gonna be cute.
That was like an old laughing joke. Yes, an edge
of your laughing joke.
Speaker 2: Yes, uh, speaking of any Amerks won last night?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we're there. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Okay, we should we should go to Canada tomorrow.
Speaker 1: No? Why because I have things I have to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they have totally nude strip clubs that overrides everything.
Speaker 1: I'm aware. Yes, okay, you are, Yeah, I'm aware. I
don't okay, I don't need a totally nude strip club.
You know. I need more drama. I know you practically
had one last night, but you turned it down. I
did not turn it down.
Speaker 2: I felt really really bad for just her decisions and
things they have in their life.
Speaker 1: And I'm allergic to you. I swear to God, I'm not.
And your you and your size matters.
Speaker 2: Yes, this is from a realtor. A realtor. I DJ
did there? What the hell is wrong with you? I
don't know, It's not me.
Speaker 1: You just started sneezing. Yeah, your eyes are all red?
Are I?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I swear to got it? Doug? Were you starting cheetos
last night? I did see on the show Hacks they
have this woman who they find that does viral dances.
She refers to herself as dance Mom. Turns out dance
Mom has no kids. She's from Canada. She just likes
the attention. She's an addict. They find her, they can't
she's got to go on the show. She's like. They
find her, like passed out on some studio lot. They're
trying to revive her. She's like, I got coke in
my purse. She's like, and they're like, no, we're not
giving you coke. We're not doing cocaine. We're not doing it.
So finally they can't get her up. They can't get
her awake. They're going half hour, she's got to be odd.
They're like, so now she's going, you got to stick
it up my ass, Doug, it's got to be I
don't know what this is. She says, you got to
stick it up. She's got to stick it up my ass.
And the guy's like, I am not timid. So then
finally they she gets to snort it off and then
she goes out and she does the whole dance and
I'm like, I don't remember.
Speaker 2: It was a virtual so people were paying to watch
her online.
Speaker 1: Now live, no, this was live. It's supposed to be
a late night talk show. Oh, and she was gonna
be she's dance mom from TikTok Okay. They bring her
on to the show to do their dances and she's
gonna dance with a big celebrity, that's all okay. And
she was o ding indeed, and she's supposed to be
this pure, wholesome looking mom. Turns out she doesn't have kids,
she's got an addiction problem, she's got a mountain of debt,
and she's a fucking loser. But it's awesome. I've never
heard that DJing his trip clubs. That's so No, No,
I haven't you know, people lying about who they are?
Speaker 2: I guess, I mean they weren't. You know, all the
girls were putting themselves through college, yes, you know, doctorates, doctorates,
veterinarian school.
Speaker 1: Weird that they how they spelled doctorate.
Speaker 2: Yeah we doctor doctor, mathematicians, teachers all that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know I never heard about that some
of those girls were good at mathough.
Speaker 2: Yes, I knew a girl that was going and I
don't know if it was true. U c l a
for forensics in California. Really yeah, and I only worked
with her a couple of times, but she said there
was a couple of girls that took care of their money.
But that's out of the few hundred that I worked with. Right,
they had a house, they had this, didn't let it
all piss away up their nose or wherever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sad because it easily can go that way,
all right, making.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and working in Rochester smaller time, you're you know,
five six, eight hundred dollars a night. That was a
high end girls two one hundred hundred and a half
for some of them. But you go to California, now
you're talking money. Wanted money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, they were doing.
Speaker 2: Our our couch dances. So they just take you back
there and that was like one hundred and fifty for
the hour and then whatever they were tipping them on
top wow. Yeah, and that was just topless. So they
just want to Some guys would just come in and
the girl go back there three hours and then they
would tip me on top of that. So I could
rearrange them in the order so I could skip them
when they come up to dance, I'd find somebody to
take their place. So and that was a low end
club two going out of business. It was called Pleasures
in Pasadena. Used to be a high level strip club.
Speaker 1: And then it just kind of shipped.
Speaker 2: The bed Wow owner was a drunk and just a
miserable tails.
Speaker 1: From the strip. Yeah, Dougie fresh. Yeah, and the guys
still alive.
Speaker 2: I just talked to a friend a month or two ago,
a strip Bardigi friend. He got married, and he goes, yeah,
Michael K Mike Kay is still alive ago, that son
of a bitch. I can prick why. He was just
a miserable fuck to me, just but I needed that job.
I couldn't walk out.
Speaker 1: What did he say to you? No, he's just miserable
and just it was just a prick. Some people just
like that.
Speaker 2: He would have his round table in the middle of
the club and the girls would all sit around him,
and then he would buy drinks for him all night,
like so like he was king, and guys would come
in like where the girls they're all sitting with the owner. Well, yeah, exactly,
you just want to show off. Not a fan at all. Yeah,
I didn't even tell him I was quitting.
Speaker 1: When I came back to Rochester, I just finished my
shift and that was that.
Speaker 2: When you came back to Russ. Yeah, I give him
two weeks or anything. Just say he didn't because I
didn't tell him. I don't know how they covered the shift.
Oh you just laughed, Yeah, but you never said a
fucking word. Holy, He just walked out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I finished my shift and uh, yeah, you
finished your ship like yeah, And then you were on
the schedule to be back what two days later or
day later? I don't remember. Yeah, but and you just left.
I just left game and they never called. I don't remember.
I don't remember. They might have. Well, do you even
have a self.
Speaker 2: I don't think I hit a cell phone. No, I
didn't out of that time. I didn't get one until
I came back to Rochester.
Speaker 1: It would be so funny if you went out there
now and kim knocking, Hey, I'm here a little late.
You won't believe what happened to me, right doing a
podcast years twenty years? All right, we will, Uh, we'll
take a moment, BOI. There's lots of things that cover
today with Dougie Fresh. But yes, but break open those cheetos.
You want to know? Yes you do, Yeah, you do,
you do. I haven't had anything to eat, all right,
you should have brought out dirty Martiniz. No, you save
those and lonely and you need to help. I got
another side game for you. It's not easy, jeez. We
will get to that right after this. Hey, if you're
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Here we are keep.
Speaker 2: Your hands and feet uside of the cards to the
rack comes too complete. Stop, ladies, It showtime six foot
two in iz of Blue rocking and rolling for five
decades on the airs some point next to your podcast
your favorite of man, mister Beard.
Speaker 1: Morri Wow. Wow you like how you? I loved it
because you didn't know what was coming. You did not
know it started abruptly and you jumped right here. You
can't feel a baby. I wish I could feel the
pulse of a woman the way I can introduce that
I'll have her talents entirely pussing this in yours. Absolutely,
you're right, but you just came up with a very
funny idea. Now, on a previous episode, Mark the Soldier
talked about how he is single again. Uh said very
very very nice things about his former girlfriend, like his
life is better today because of her and her encouragement. Well,
I say that because sometimes we think of breakups and
how ugly it is and all this. They're never fun,
they're never easy. But that was it. But you said,
what what was your idea?
Speaker 2: You had the milk Hunter or not? In the Milk Hunter,
the Milf Show, the woman you you are the milk Hunter.
Damn right, I'm the cougar hunter. I'm an old game hunter.
Speaker 1: I want the least my reason, I all over me.
I've before anyways. I want them arthritic, swallen ankles. Oh man,
I want them with a bad back, can't get anywhere,
and I'm gonna kid lay it down. No, what I
said was, there's I don't want to say too much,
but other things are gonna be happening here and somebody's
bringing a something a podcast.
Speaker 2: Over And she was a contestant. She was a contestant
on Milf manor Milf manner. So she was one of
fifteen MILFs older women ten to fifteen. Yes, and she's
gonna possibly be doing her own her own podcast. So
I said, why don't you have her go on a
date with Mark and then go on a date with me. Yeah,
and then she can she can come in like the
old love connection. Yes, you know, that would be a
very interesting episode of a podcast. To be honest with you,
I would love to Ben get into this.
Speaker 1: It would be more fun to do it where like
we tape and put together as one episode, but the
pre the during, like go out with a camera, get
you guys at dinner whatever. I loved date.
Speaker 2: Something, there's connection. There was a love connection.
Speaker 1: The late Chuck Willery.
Speaker 2: Yes, and then they had blind Oh, they had Blind Date.
There was a TV show in California.
Speaker 1: It was it was only in California.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it was syndicated across Okay, my
buddy actually worked for that. He would he interviewed people
and then they had the cameras and they go out
and yeah, you know, go to a bar, do whatever,
different places, music park, get tattooed, something, make it interesting,
mix it up and they'd be in the car and
they'd be talking and they'd have little blips, uh, you know,
the air things above them. You know, I'm gonna put
my foot in my mouth and three two one. So
what do you think about anal stupid stuff like that?
Most of it was I'm sorry, my name isn't all.
Most of it I think was scripted or they give
you a little leeway and go and then they put
it all together. So I think, you know, talk to
Mark and be like, you know, where are you planning
to do? What's her name? I don't Let's say Anne, Yeah,
what are you planning to do with Ann? And then
have me and Doug what are you planning to do
with Anne? And then it all comes in.
Speaker 1: I can tell you that that probably will not happen
with you. I think it's no no with that person. Okay,
with that person? Why she married? I'm not she might
not be single. Yeah, I don't know the status. But
I like this idea lot, like I really like this idea.
Speaker 2: And so if anybody out there wants to go on
a date with Mark Hillman and then a date with
Dougie Fresh, say their picture in twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1: Every time, I would tell you right now. It's the list.
It does not exist. We just put this on. It
does not exist. I can't imagine some woman lusting for
the two of you. I can't amaze that either. No,
but I would kind of like it though, if I
think you're why on a second, I think women say,
you know, in their fifties, you know what it's like
dating egg yere right, but the here's Doug charming, funny,
nice looking, sweet. But I didn't get into it. You
didn't know what do you mean? Who says Sam I
good looking? I did it. I just said something good.
Look does your father saying that to your looks like me? Yeah? Yeah,
you're not a bad looking guy, you know, but you're cute.
That's what I got out my life. Do you think
a good like? Yeah, you're cute? Okay? Do you have
you asked? Years ago? You said, do you think I'm
good looking? Man? I would never ask that, Okay, Well
I never asked that.
Speaker 2: I everybody's ever asked that, how's my hair looking?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, sure I've never asked that. Yeah I haven't.
I think it was like forty years ago. I mean
I already knew the answer I was getting my.
Speaker 2: I can get my cheeto on with you.
Speaker 1: That's right, baby, getting my cheos this sponsor. It's not
easy being cheesy pot episode brought to you by Cheetos
The Plus. Did you go to BJ's to get this?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I went to Wegmans. Oh my god, you must have
paid five ninety nine and again me in my pocket ship.
And I went to Joanne Fabrics and get some fabrics
for friends that make quilts for my breast cancer fundraiser.
Speaker 1: And see, I can't make fun of that. And baby yarn.
Speaker 2: I have two friends, one gen one Brenda.
Speaker 1: Uh huh will they go out with you? No? They're
both married. No, yeah, thankfully, or so they say. So.
Speaker 2: I went last week before the podcast or after it.
I kn'd up before and everything's eighty percent off, and
I was gonna grab a couple of ornaments and gonna
get some yarn. I'm gonna get some fabric. And I'm like, ah,
fucking I'll be here next week. And this store is
cleaned out, cleaned out. Wow, she's tearing down stuff right
where I knew the mushrooms were in. Like, I might
go to Jefferson Road today after this, because I really
like they were like als in Wonderland. And I got
a house now, so I want to kind.
Speaker 1: Of see something outside. And I'm like, if you're you're
pushing things come up. She goes, they're they're going that way.
Mustrooms look like kids, uncle dogs. I don't eat the mushrooms.
Speaker 2: I didn't say that, and she goes, yeah, those are
gone and just not those are gone, like you dumb fuck.
Speaker 1: You should have got them last year.
Speaker 2: God, So I was texting pictures, but I did get
some awesome a c DC fabric. What are you going
to do with I'm sure somebody will want to blanket
or pillows whatever. Brenda you know and kiss. Yeah, you've
got Eric and Danielle who they own a place called
the Retreat that we went through the Amventie next to
what I'm into a few times.
Speaker 1: They own it.
Speaker 2: I think close to twenty years, maybe fifteen there were.
He was my number first donator for my breast cancer
fundrais wonderful, So I'm gonna have her make at least
a couple of pillows for him. They travel, They see
every concert they can, Okay, they that's their thing, travel
for concerts. They've seen kiss thirty forty times. They are
just in music.
Speaker 1: They go on.
Speaker 2: The cruise ships with the with the gang of bands.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen this rockets? Yeah, cuz you know
there's always a band that's on the downside.
Speaker 2: I mean they've seen everything. I yeah, yes, the Scorpions
are still touring.
Speaker 1: But we're so desperate we'll drink with you. Yes, you're
a party like a rock star.
Speaker 2: Once you stop partying like a rock star, you're just over.
You're just almost on a shutter. So and somebody, I'm
gonna go see a C d C. Cleveland, somebody's they
still i can't believe they're still touring I'm like, what
do you want them to do at sixty seventy? I mean,
same as your parents. They have hobbies. They're out there
rock and their they're filling stadium stones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there's a few.
Speaker 2: There's one left of rock bands that can could fill
the stadium. Yeah, you know John Billy Joel, the Stones,
Bob Secret.
Speaker 1: Billy. Joel's got brain issues. Canceled the rest of his tour,
yes until next year. He has like, yeah, but a
spinal fluid building up and pressing on the brain. And
he's seventy three and it's hurting cognitive function. Yeah, so
it could be uh what nothing?
Speaker 2: What instead of singing piano man, he's gonna sing ice
cream man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, screw up the lyrics or whatever. That's the fridge, Dad,
don't know one of this. That's the fridge, Dad. It's terrible.
It is very sad. Let me ask you since you
brought up the dating thing, and you have talked about
being an uber driver and seeing the hookers out there
and having them offer services for rides and things. But
less common but very real is mail escorts, jigglows. And
I'm just wondering if I mean, I think globally ten
to fifteen percent of prostitution is male. Oh when do
you think? When do you think I've thought about it?
I did think about this because I'm like, I wonder
if that's it, and there's I would think that it's
probably underground to a certain extent, in demand, I bet
in the gay community, very popular, but American. Yeah, Richard
Gear years ago. But I think that if you if
it was women like older high profile CEOs don't really
have time for the relationship things right. Looking for that,
I'm just saying.
Speaker 2: They want Richard Gear. They don't want Nugie Fresh. How
do you No, you're right, I should put it out.
Speaker 1: You don't know. I should go on the dark internet.
Se well, just the jigglo thing.
Speaker 2: I could see you for companionship. Look, I can play
checkers in Bake Gammy I saw on.
Speaker 1: A previous episode I talked about an article I just
read says seventy eight percent of conversations that people have
with OnlyFans stars people who are like subscribers to only fans,
seventy eight percent of the conversations and people pay premium
for one on one time are not about sex. A
lot of it is just men feeling lonely and want
someone to ask about their day. I'm not saying there
isn't any sex. That would be naive and stupid, but
I but they're a OnlyFans. Seventy eight percent of the
guys who were like.
Speaker 2: I would say they were less than one percent of
them hooking up.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, not hooking up. I can't have sex
with no, no, no. What they can do is talking
about sex. I can pay you and and you I
get an exclusive right. So maybe I have you play
with yourself, or you want another girl or whatever. But
what they're saying, is in those sessions, seventy eight percent
of the conversation is about their pets, their day or
this or that. Not the woman the guy right talking
And I thought, wow, isn't that interesting? How isolated and lonely.
Speaker 2: And I go, yeah, well they used to have one
eight hundred numbers, so you could just talk to a woman.
And maybe that was about sex.
Speaker 1: Maybe not. Yeah, but you have only fans. It's just
you should start a business cougar CEOs and confidentiality.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in between dog sitting, DJing, yeah, ubering and at
double ed, which I'm making tonight.
Speaker 1: I just I gotta think even around here. And I
know we're not the biggest city because this would probably
be places like New York, London, who knows, uh, But
I'm going.
Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, I wonder if there is And you
looked up male escorts you know, Okay, I should we
go ahead?
Speaker 1: You fired them? Yeah, I'll fire him male escorts in Rochester, Rochester. Yeah,
I don't.
Speaker 2: Know how you companionship or there's probably different. Well, like
what if you say to the date looking short term?
Speaker 1: Long term? Rochester, Maryland? Escorts, jigglows and gay massage is
man up Rochester, New York. Male escorts, rent dot men,
gay massage, gay as the mint Boys, gay escorts and
mail massage. Skip the games. Mail from MARYL Escorts in Rochester,
New York. Skip the games, baby one who wants to
play corn hole? So there's got to be lonely women
out there too. Well, this is what I'm saying. But
this is all what game up? Jock to go Rochester.
You're saying gay male ascort. Everything here is gay rentmen
dot dot com, that dot gay near you search mail
escorts near East Rock came up on your laptop. All
these fans. By the way, I'm just saying, I'm just
making it. Oh ship, this is what pops up. First,
give me the cheetos like, oh hello, I agree to
enter rent men. I do not agree that it's said.
Speaker 2: It's like a timeshare you never got I'm doing Once
you hit that button?
Speaker 1: Hello, where you just when you listen to her? Yeah?
What do you? What do you want? Come paint my house?
Rochester escorts tristlink find independent escorts.
Speaker 2: By continuing to use Maybe Mark and I should join
that and see who makes more money.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, please fucking please, fucking please. Oh my god,
you guys are gonna end up owing be calling in favor,
would you please? Oh my gosh, Rochester, oh shit, these
are all chicks escort. Okay, so Rochelle, I am the
gentleman's choice. Five hundred dollars. But then there's hour half hour.
My little kiddie's waiting, Hope, and she's sixty dollars. Then
there's Kelly and Kelly none of them have their face.
Oh no, no, my little kitty has her face. She's
uh no face two fifty Wow, you know. Okay, so
that's what I'm saying, Like, what about flip flip the
script here? Oh, we can get busty escorts available now
for twenty friendly providers.
Speaker 2: The problem is that one of the girls told me
that mature escorts. You're putting your credit card in first,
and it's not a guarantee they're gonna show up. So
you're out to fifty and she never shows. Who are
you gonna call? And that goes, yes, yeah, you're gonna
You're gonna call your car company.
Speaker 1: H I'm astercart. I want to dispute something we purchased.
Speaker 2: Busy Busty Escorts dot com. Oh are you Kyle seven
one two three, Yes, that's me.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And you gave two hundred and fifty dollars to a
man it yeah, and and she didn't show up. Oh okay,
dumb ass. We're gonna try to refund your money. But
it doesn't always work that way. It's not always that easy.
Speaker 1: I mean, have you had this happen? No, sounds very
very familiar.
Speaker 2: There's there's comedies about that on TV shows.
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm more of the same as Spectrum.
Speaker 2: You try trying to get rid of Spectrum and they
keep sending you ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, next to all the time. Yes, gay assescort Rochester,
New guys are added every day, every day. Male for
female escorts. Here we go. This is what we're looking for.
Skip the games. Male for female escorts in Rochester, New York. Yes, uh,
let's see, let's see what we can find here. See
what you got? Oh it's all dick pics. Oh really
fucking right away? And this is all today Saturday. We're
taping this on Saturday and it's all dick pics. It's
all pics. Well, you want to know what kind of
and then there's a woman you know, on her knees,
what kind of car? You're getting for your mileage. I guess.
Speaker 2: So if that's what you want, you know you, I
mean basically that's what you're running them for, not for
their conversation.
Speaker 1: You want to get railed.
Speaker 2: No maybe not, maybe not no, probably probably Oh yeah, yeah,
you made just some old lady going fel.
Speaker 1: I was trying to go to the turning Stone bingo
dot com. Look what I got this old black price.
I put in dabbers and this came up. There's an
old black guy put his own He is fuck, he
just put it up yes or earlier this month and
it's just him and his is junk. But he's old.
How old is he? No, he looks old. Then there's
a guy banging ohick in the wood. This is fucking wild.
I didn't realize like they should just they should just
legalize prostitution.
Speaker 2: I mean why not? I mean, who's it hurt? You
got liquory, you have d w iz killing people. You
got marijuana now, gummies, what's the problem Because you can't
tax it?
Speaker 1: It could be a lot better for even the worker,
the sex worker, meaning that you would probably have to
be licensed, but you would know diseases. Disease trade have
to have health to do that. Yes, years ago.
Speaker 2: I think that for your bi monthly check out, safety
for the girls, safety holiday in or something down you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, convert it into what a brothel. Brothel? Yeah, come
to New York State's finest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I mean in Philadelphia, I think other bigger cities.
They're trying to make a gate community so you can
shoot heroin. Yeah, kind of keep it away from the innocence. Yeah,
but no prostitution.
Speaker 1: No, that's bad.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? What do you think they're doing
to get the heroin?
Speaker 1: I'm just I think the mail escort, though, is interesting.
I never would have thought I just all about women.
I try to flip the script and I was like, oh,
Doug's coming in, I should ask about the mail escort
thing and what he thinks that only because I didn't realize,
Like I always say this, the world is designed by
geniuses to be run by idiots. All we do is like,
what's one of the most searched things pornography? Yeah, right,
But some genius made this device that we can communicate
with somebody around the world in real time. We can
share screens, we can talk to each other. You know,
it's like the closest thing to the jets and phone
that we have. Right, you got all that, not just FaceTime,
but through this you can have multiple people on, you
can have meetings. It got us through a pandemic and
kept some businesses alive. And yet he turned it into
you know, butt sex. I don't know, you know, that's
all I'm saying. It's like it's the weirdest thing. Yeah,
we just come right back in. Where do you like it?
H Where do you as much as this?
Speaker 2: Yes, as much like you said, you're not putting this
genie back in the bottle. As much as this is helping,
it's hurting any other end. Kids are traumatized. They're getting bullied,
and they're not feeling Ah, they're not getting attention if
somebody isn't watching their video. Next thing, you know, they're
in antidepressants. And this is all through middle school going
into high school.
Speaker 1: They're already on drugs, which is crazy and needed sometimes.
Speaker 2: But yeah, sometimes, I mean when we were kids, they
had riddling, right, that's because the kid had too much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I don't know, he's always hyper. Well, you
just sent him outside, go run a mile, go play.
Now you don't.
Speaker 2: See kids I mean, I uber for five years. I
can't tell you the last time I saw kids playing football.
Speaker 1: In the Star or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no more baseball in the park.
Speaker 1: I see it. I would see a lot of basketball.
I would see a lot of basketball in the park,
organized baseball, Like I know, people, there's there. I don't
know what the rain that we've been having, but there
were tournaments. Yeah, there's nothing going a lot of baseball tournaments.
But that's all organized. What you're talking about is just
kids kids. Yeah, and now I think kids are probably
so almost scheduled, right, but the ones that are playing
sports are playing organized sports. It's uh to change world,
Dougie Fresh, to change world. We will take a moment
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Speaker 2: You oh you're trying to get Back To? Gabe porn, come,
on greatest the greatest band ever Playing in Cleveland this
wednesday night at seven O'clock.
Speaker 1: Only wow even with the like deposit, or dunk drag
it out or cut? It short dug my, God right
so this song do You? Remember diamonds, Oh yeah diamonds
two clubs, two clubs and one before that it Was.
PLAY punt i was there opening Night. For DIAMONDS so
i USED to dj on the. Rock side NOT, d
j that's. NOT true i they wanted a live BROADCAST
On cmf saturday nights starting in like eight or nine,
until midnight and they would do it live. From there
the station cut some DEAL and i would go out
THERE and i would. Get, lasted, Yeah okay and there
were chicks that this song came on and oh, MY god,
i mean oh. My god, and yeah there was a
lot of things ninety, Two, yeh no it was later
on that. For me it had to, be.
Speaker 2: Uh trying to think OUT before I, GRADUATED fisher i
was on the radio already, in TOWN but.
Speaker 1: I was but this club deal didn't come around till
like nine. O five They Had progressive Night on.
Speaker 2: Wednesday night bottles a quarter fifty cents and we were,
just by, you know five dollars worth, just drinking but
probably they.
Speaker 1: Get warm oh you would, buy, them.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah buy two dollars forth. Of beers you got.
Speaker 1: Eight, beers yeah so you'd had them ahead, of, time
yes before the price.
Speaker 2: Went, up, yes yeah playpool, all NIGHT drink i LIKE
when i thought that was all cool, and, everything, LIKE yes.
Speaker 1: I know i was just, thinking THAT like, I, go
okay here's the old man perspective. On, this now what
ADVICE would i give MYSELF because i KNOW where i
was in, my, life yeah at, that time and what
ended up happening was a result.
Speaker 2: OF that i think every person in their lifetime is
wished they go back in time with the now as
they have now what they would have done, for job,
meeting somebody talking?
Speaker 1: To, SOMEBODY yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't i would have liked you asked me a
while AGO when i Lived, in california why didn't you
try comedy out there for a life? OF me i don't.
KNOW why I never i was on. Stage once it's seventeen.
Years old we took the guys from McDonald's To yuck
yucks or whatever. It was we got there late and
it was. OPEN mic i, WENT up i told, ONE joke,
I bombed i. WALK off i never thought about going
back AS but i knew all the Jokes from kodek
with my dad and could always remember. A joke i
did Write a DANGERFIELD and i Still. DO ronnie I
do ronnie in the bar a couple of, jokes here
a couple of.
Speaker 1: Jokes, there yeah, you, know yeah HERE'S What i. WITHERSPOON
joke i used that. LAST night i use that. Every
week here would be, the, advice, like think think of,
This now i'll ask you. THIS question i already have,
my answer so maybe it's a, Little unfair but what
advice would you give to your younger self if you
could go back to the days you were at the
playpen or the days you Were, at diamonds what would
you tell your? Younger self is there any advice you
would give to your? Younger SELF and i have ADVICE
that i try to actually PUT into i THINK if i, knew,
now yeah maybe not even what you know now so
MUCH because, i think like what you're taking, IS well
i wouldn't do. That RELATIONSHIP but i. DON'T know i
think life is THE morning i think about It The.
Bill hicks it's a. Roller coaster there's ups and downs
and thrills, and chills and it's. A ride and you're
gonna be.
Speaker 2: Out to, hollywood earlier or get a job.
Speaker 1: In construction that would have been.
Speaker 2: Your, Advice, money yeah to buy, a house buy a
house By, forty.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's, paid, off okay and then, you're yeah you've,
Got that you've got that roof all.
Speaker 2: Good, stuff yeah it's ONE thing i will try to
teach my nephew coming out of high school if he
doesn't go, to college get. A job let's get a
downpoint payment for, a house thirty. Year mortgage at least. You,
qualify yeah you're gonna. Have something and then as, he
matures he can double up, his, payments right, you know
and get that because once you have, a house.
Speaker 1: Yeah you have you've got. Properties. YOURS yeah, i, guess
boy maybe this, is DUMB because i was. GONNA go
i was GONNA tell i would tell my, younger self
don't take it all, so seriously don't take it all.
So seriously it's just there's gonna be, you know try
everything is neutral until you give, it meeting and don't take.
It all, so seriously don't take the job. Too seriously don't,
take this, you know the the love affair, too seriously
the girl whatever. That is just try to kind of
keep it right in the middle there and and and
let's not stray off, the track like get too wild
in one direction. Or another. Try, IT no i get
It but i'm, just thinking like every, Blue movie i'm
thinking Of the diamonds thing AND things. I did and
there were these girls and you're young and you gotta,
you know on, the radio but you're also involved with
somebody and get kids. At, HOME no i wasn't married at.
That time. You, ARE no i was like twenty three.
Years old you.
Speaker 2: Must have BEEN getting, i DID but I, but I
but i was LIVING with i was living, with somebody.
Speaker 1: You know and That's where, I'M like i wish you
would just have taken your. Foot off just enjoy. THE
moment i don't take it. Too seriously let's not get
too stupid, with things not because all the time you
spent upset in your. Own head WHAT am? I? When
who blah blah blah. Blah blah it's like not.
Speaker 2: Just straight but a girl told me, years ago you
know how women was the number. One thing how women
find out.
Speaker 1: That you're cheating. On them. Your smell you smell.
Speaker 2: Different when you, come home probably not only, from liquor, but,
yeah perfume, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: More, animals pheromones. All that, oh, YEAH yeah, i mean
but but just don't take it. So seriously in, other
words like you would get all twisted, about something or
you would get so caught up in the moment and
then it would, be like, oh god but and, you're like,
who whah just have? Some cheetos really fucking. Just stop
and by, the way don't go chasing the party. Every
night stay to what you want. TO do. I don't
I think i was bored.
Speaker 2: Most times he just wanted to. Be, out yeah try
to be some interactions in. Some way that was.
Speaker 1: MY excuse i, WAS alone I like i.
Speaker 2: Am now back then there's always something. GOING on i
could find something or even, go, out yeah, you, know darts, pool.
Speaker 1: Drinking just looking to be. A.
Speaker 2: JIGGALOW yeah i didn't KNOW what i was doing. BACK
then i still don't Know what. I'm doing what do
you mean?
Speaker 1: BY that i don't know how, to talk, you know the.
Speaker 2: Natural talking wait, a second but you what?
Speaker 1: Are you how easy? Does it how is? This possible
because you you talk to people all the time and
you're talking like one on.
Speaker 2: One whatever the signs are that the woman, red light,
green light? Yellow, light, yeah, Whatever there i'm not. Catching
it could be a.
Speaker 1: Fly ball i'm.
Speaker 2: Missing it, let's say hit me in the head with
a two, By four i'm missing. Subtle science you're not
the first person to tell.
Speaker 1: Me, This, like doug she was so. Into you i'm like,
she was didn't you?
Speaker 2: Get it, i'm, like, no dude she wanted to take.
Speaker 1: You all, i'm, like, really, maybe, Yeah autistic i'm a.
Speaker 2: Fucking idiot, yeah, maybe. Yeah dyslexic We're On dilla Bill.
Speaker 1: The uh when was the last time that you felt
like you misread? A?
Speaker 2: Woman uh probably. Last summer we were down a whiskey
road with. Some friends my, buddy's girlfriend her sisters. Show
up one of the sisters joking with me this thing
like she.
Speaker 1: Watched him, like really like.
Speaker 2: But they, were Drunk and, i'm, like yeah they're drunk
and working with drunk people working.
Speaker 1: At bars, YOU'RE like i think you know when they're
when someone's, touching you they touch your arm when, they
laugh if they touch, your shoulder they. Do that that's
usually a Sign that so the doctor wants. To, date yes,
THE doctor i, mean no. The doctor doctor wants.
Speaker 2: To milk the move paid fair enough and he was
then skipped the games doctor, you know skips.
Speaker 1: What? It is what's? The show bill? And Dies dylan
bill still A lib i'm. An, idiot no that. Was great, i'm,
surprised YEAH because i would tell, you, THIS like i
am surprised that you don't have somebody in. Your LIFE
and i know that that's like a shitty thing to say, to,
you probably but that's. All right i'm surprised because you
got a lot of PERSONALITY and i don't meet.
Speaker 2: ANYBODY out, i mean my bar working is mainly all
married coming in the other bar is like we, know everybody.
You know it's, like cheers, You KNOW and i don't
go out AND then i have golf League. On thursday,
But again i've known those people for a couple of,
years now AND just i got to get Out to
fairport with everything happening out here and meet some, new people,
you know and then where my size.
Speaker 1: MATTERS shot I just i always want to role play
with what what do you want?
Speaker 2: To?
Speaker 1: Do now i'll be the CHICK and i got to
you got to try to pick.
Speaker 2: Me up but How many cheetos can you fit in
your mouth and get?
Speaker 1: At it do You? Leave ARNSTEINS but i, would think
like chicks like. Touching that how could you not? Know
that you? KNOW that i think. YOU'RE right i don't
think you misread. THE signs i think you read the.
SIGNS correctly i think people would steer. YOU wrong i
think you're good at. Reading people and women can, be friendly,
which sometimes unfortunately, for women get taken as as flirtatious
and it's not meant. To be they're just being polite
or they're just being friendly or trying to pay attention
to make. Eye contact two, summers ago was down out
a locklan as the friends came and We.
Speaker 2: Got dougie they came Right, and dougie we gotta go.
From you i'll just say, Her. Name, brenda okay she'll
go back and forth.
Speaker 1: With you she's joking blah. Blah blah and she. Came
in we started bantering back.
Speaker 2: And FORTH but i mean, RIGHT away i didn't feel,
any SPARKS and i don't think she.
Speaker 1: Did either i'm more of, a.
Speaker 2: Guy, Like like i'll know right then and there if
there's a spark just ahead in.
Speaker 1: A, while okay you know sometimes the spark. Goes, out,
yeah yeah it's like, your pilot, like right, you know on.
Your furnish gotta. KEEP that I think i get a
get down there and lighten. It again, you're right you need. A,
little oh there's, a woman she's got to be. She's
not she's got a guy. Behind her she's got a bandage. Up.
Her Yea all i'm saying to you is if this
guy would rather read a billboard than follow. His wife what's?
The thing it's, two words Canal. Days july? He's open what?
Gets lost like it's been? Thirty seconds what is he?
Reading here? She is oh he's got a. Dog too
oh maybe? All? Right MAN oh i don't think. They're
together maybe. They, are yeah.
Speaker 2: That's nice and the dog even has. A, sore right
you see that dog's got a knee brace on.
Speaker 1: His name, OH god I DON'T i'm i. DON'T know
i HAD something i wanted. TO say i do want.
THE jiggling i do want the DATING thing I say,
I want, I want i WANT to i want to
see You and mark date the, same WOMAN and i.
WOULD work i think that would be A great you,
KNOW what i wonder if there's a, dating coach a,
DATING coach i would not do that out of. Self pride,
hang on hang on for. The show We'll get the
dating coach goes out. With you the dating coach goes
Out with mark and then she comes back, and says
who has a? Better wrap? Better? Time? Better, What, no
master you're asking a woman to DO because i want to.
Be interested if a, DATING coach i want? SOMEBODY single
i Want to so you really want to try to? Date,
somebody well what's going on on your phone? Right now?
Speaker 2: You're nothing i'm getting TikTok or? Instagram, notification.
Speaker 1: Okay tik still a. BILL tactic i want to Interview. With,
jiggilow yeah WELL if i ever get one in. My,
Car no I'm just, I'm SERIOUS like i would love,
to know like in, this town how do you keep?
It discreete does your Family know you've got to be
working out all. The time keep yourself. In shape your
body is your business in, a way? Right right? You
know but some women like the Dad bought maybe. You're
that are you more emotional strokes for? Different folks are
you more? Emotional support are you? More?
Speaker 2: Green yeah because you can get those. Colored, contexts yeah
you know you want to address up as. A cowboy
you want me to be An answer and just got
Back from venus so you? Have advertisers, oh YEAH.
Speaker 1: Can i stick it IN your i went down. On
everybody she.
Speaker 2: Tasted funny, oh yeah you can dress up. As anything
you can. Role play i'm gonna go down on. You
now it's gonna. Be wonderful i'm gonna go do, some
big Beautiful will bill half, an hour twenty, MINUTES downstairs
i might tap on your, neighbor's door if you KNOW what,
i mean.
Speaker 1: Tap on your.
Speaker 2: Neighbor's door, anybody home get out only, an here, we
stop all.
Speaker 1: Open up we wonder to see what you got. In there, terrible.
THERE terrible i don't know what. WE do i. Like
it we HAVE no gps on the Show On, Dila
bill what do? YOU mean i never know where? We're,
going no. You do we have everything a little bit
up and then.
Speaker 2: NOT really i don't like it. LIKE that i never
have topics to. TALK about, i DO but i never.
Speaker 1: Go, ON yes i never liked it. Like that here's.
THE thing i would never WANT to i don't want
to be, somewhat UNPREPARED but I LIKE but i like
having conversation that's authentic and natural and real. And real
And but i've, done that, You know that's been. MY
style i don't know if that's the style that works
or wins, right now so far, right now. Dyslexic dog
there WAS something i wanted to bring up and then
the goddamn dogs, walk BY and i don't even.
Speaker 2: Remember, that huh you can't remember what?
Speaker 1: WAS it i know it was SOMETHING like i wanted
to ask YOU and i was gonna take, you SOMEWHERE
like i don't know if it was it comedy thing
or it was probably dating women and picking up on
the signs and not picking up on. The SIGNS and
i think you're probably right in what, you're saying like
you said, It's LIGHTNING but i think that also that,
you know maybe. There's SOMETHING but i feel for when
this IS where i was. GONNA go i feel for
women SOMETIMES because i do think that especially this is
gonna sound, really bad but You've heard i've heard women heard,
of women let me put it, this way that have
said it's hard, being hot, right yeah and as silly
and as dumb and as pissed off as everybody wants.
To GET when i stopped to thinking, ABOUT it, i,
go yeah because every time you talk to, a guy
they think they got a shot to get in your
fucking pants if you're nice. TO them i really BELIEVE
that i, think guys, EVERY guy i just. Stop IT
yeah i got. No, shoes, okay yeah. Right way but
if she's being friendly, to you and even if she
touched you on, the, arms like, oh god that's, So,
Funny doug you're, so, Funny right and maybe.
Speaker 2: She is looking for a, funny guy but for so
many years people know girls want a guy that can make.
Speaker 1: Him LAUGH here i, am right. Still sing but my
point being that this Woman wasn't she's maybe got someone.
At home she's just out. With friends she's not there
to hit. On somebody and it's INTERESTING because i Watched
The brett farv documentary that's just Out, on netflix and
it's interesting for a lot, of Reasons. Said Dick maybe
dick picks on.
Speaker 2: That.
Speaker 1: Game well escort the woman that he Sent the dick,
Pic to Jen. Sterzer Stgier jen sterger wanted to Be An.
Aaron andrews but she. Started out she was At A florida.
State game she was in a she had gone to
work that morning and she said she was a Student At.
Florida state she goes to get, a ticket it had
to be, a lottery and, she's like you never knew
if you're gonna. GET him i finally. Got him it
was for the biggest Game. Against miami, she's, LIKE so
i WAS going i was at work or something spilled things,
down ME but i had a bathing, suit Underneath and,
i'm like you, KNOW what i don't. Even care it's
ninety eight. Degrees tonight I'm taking and she was out
in a bikini and a. Cowboy, hat well she the
cameras hit, her right And It's, brent Musburger And brent
musburger says, remember, this, yes, yeah wow fourteen thousand young
Red blooded american men have just decided to Apply To
florida state or something to. That effect i'm, paraphrasing right
but all because. Of that so she's. On there, from
there she gets On dead spin or something picks her
up and. Does this so she winds, up writing she
winds up, doing things and most of her stuff she.
Was maximum She, did playboys she did. Something else, SHE
goes i did it in reverse order. Sports illustrated, she's like,
you know, you probably but She. Did playboy she did all,
this stuff and so she was selling her body and
her sex a, little bit but she wanted to. Be
sports so then she gets hired By The New york
jets to be in. Stadium entertainment she would go around
and interview and things. LIKE that i actually did this
For the nighthawks for, one SEASON and I think i
got FIRED because I had they had, a big fat
guy who would PUT on, t, shirts right he was
like an intern For, the nighthawks and he would peel
off the shirts and he would throw them to the
crowd and he would Have the nightingale dancers next. To
him they Were. The nightingales so one night he's not out,
a game he's sick, or SOMETHING and i say to,
the girls put on the shirts and we'll have you peel.
Them off of course. YOU did. I did and so
they're doing it and the camera's, on him and the
fucking management is flipping the. Fuck out people are running from.
Different parts it's just. Family friendly you can't. Do that
and it's like, guys, going, yeah yeah in my family home.
Next time but. They weren't they weren't taking off. Their
liverages sure there'd be another shirt underneath shirt shirt and
they're throwing them to the, fun funny, but no it
did not. GO well i think now.
Speaker 2: That's sexist guy does, this okay girls do, IT well i.
Speaker 1: WAS out I was i was done As the, nighthawks,
ideas man. He's Done But jenn sturger's Is the jets
doing it in stadium and. She says somebody comes up
to her, and goes WHAT if i Told You brett
farv wants your? Phone number and, SHE said i. DIDN'T
respond i didn't. Say. Anything basically he then gets her number,
from somebody sends her a, dick pic keeps inviting her
over doing all this shit and she's in. This documentary,
SHE goes i never Ever Met. BRETT favre i never.
Met him, SHE goes i never responded to. HIS text
i never. Did anything, SHE goes i never let. This out,
she goes it was like a year or, so later and,
SHE said i was talking to the guy From, dead
spin and, she Goes dead spin was sort of, this
rogue loosely journalistic website, for sports and, SHE said i
had done stuff with them prior To the. Jets GIG
and i had lunch with the guy and, he's, like
yeah you know the women's sports what they have to,
Go through and she, was, like BOY do i have.
A story i gotta. TELL you i can't even. Believe it,
SHE goes i FELT like i was Stocked by Brett
fav he was. Every, night hey come, On over i'm in. The,
Hotel hey i'm. UP here i got a. Few, Hours
hey i'd love to. See it, SHE'S like i never
gave him my. Phone number someone from the front office
gave him. MY number i never responded to. One text,
SHE goes i was so uncomfortable by the. Whole THING
and i knew who. He, was yeah he was the
greatest thing to happen To. THE jets i, get it he's.
A SUPERSTAR but i wanted nothing to do. With this
AND then i get a dick pic that guy tells
the Story on deadspin and that's how it. Got out
and she was just like confiding in, a friend just, actually,
saying yes what your female friend is saying. About, sport
yeah girls got to go through. With, this yeah it's kind.
Of ugly and, SHE'S like i never, met her and
yet she, was Like, ville fi she's a, slut anyway
look at what the sports stuff. She does she's got
her titties out, Come, right yeah but she will. Twist
it but she never. Did it she never did Anything and,
i'm like that's where. You're right if you're a good
looking woman and you're nice, to somebody they'll. Read it every.
FUCKING guy I know i've probably. DONE him I know
i've done. IT myself i know i've done it. MY
well I think i was YOUNGER and i, was, like,
hey right you Know what. I'm, saying hey maybe and the,
next thing, uh, no no, oh sorry. It's terrible oh,
My boyfriend, oh yeah, got it? Got.
Speaker 2: It.
Speaker 1: Yeah YEAH so i. Don't know it's a. Great documentary
you gotta. Watch it because the Guy From green, bay,
says uh, you Know breast they wanted him to do
a Story On brett favre after his wife announced she had,
breast cancer and, he, goes, HEY listen i want you
to do a story on the, family side family man
breath Far from the, GUY goes i don't, write fiction
and they're, like what, HE goes i follow this guy.
Too much i'm not, saying Anything but i'm definitely not.
WRITING that i tell you everything you need to, know
again everything everything? Right there, Yeah right, and look, you're young,
you're rich and you've got a ton of you're you
brought A super bowl back to, title, town right, RIGHT right,
i mean, come on what are you? Gonna?
Speaker 2: Do right there is this one GIRL that i TEASE
and i see her once or twice. A year SHE'S
a i won't give. A name she's a sponsor mine and,
OH yeah, i know you know she sometimes thinks, that
sometimes but she's all that in the bag of chips
and a bag of cheetos and, oh yes.
Speaker 1: It's so tough. Being me it's. It's unbelievable everybody wants
to sleep. With me and she leans.
Speaker 2: Into me one day, she goes you can't imagine the
number of guys at masturbait to.
Speaker 1: MY image, i stop, SHUT up i, GO stop, i
go that's over. The top what do? You yeah she
said it, to me and then the gates. Were open
where do we see? Her image i'm gonna find out off.
MY police i Won't say i'm.
Speaker 2: WITH you I got i'm like that ego is just
you gotta be chiseled down a, little. Bit sweetie, i'm
like come on for, All that, i'm, like look, You're
YEAH and, i said rust is shirt in my hand
has never touched my peop thinking of you just if
you need one in the, Lost column, i'm like you're
probably undefeated with every guy you walk into thinking He was.
Speaker 1: She's a decent.
Speaker 2: Looking chick, but again when you get to talking, to
somebody are? They alluring are they? The communication are? You
clicking it just makes it.
Speaker 1: MORE sexier, i think, all right we'll take. A moment
what happens when there's a mix up at the? Funeral
home like we've heard of mix up? With babies uh
huh coming into. The world what about? Going? Out yeah
what about when you leave a? Mix up we'll get
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it's proud to present So song kill a fun. Everybody's
favorite on Air, podcaster bil You Mentioned. Neil, DIAMOND yes
I Love, neil diamond Do? You yeah i've seen him.
Acount twice, really yeah SAW con I wish i.
Speaker 2: Did too he's got a lot OF great i remember Thinking,
At parkinson's oh he does a few years ago and
make a song you sing them out to high School
With barber striis.
Speaker 1: In. He uh it's weird to me BECAUSE when i was,
a kid, my parents both my mom and my dad
were rare in the seventies that my mom. Would work
it was nineteen seventy two, or three, and uh they
used to drop me off at, a babysitter a woman
in the apartment complex we, lived in and she would
watch ME and i used to love to be over at,
her house but she WOULD when i would take, a
nap she put on this kind. Of music she had.
Speaker 2: Eight TRACKS and i remember THINKING that i Didn't Like.
Speaker 1: Neil diamond because he looks so cheesy, to me like
my dad didn't have long hair and big collars all.
This shit and THEN as i, GOT older, I, go
wow that music, was great and why did my my
parents never listened to it or anything. Like that my
Dad Liked. JIM crochy I Like jim crochey. A lot
I think jim croche wrote some, great lyrics if you
really just listened to, the. Lyrics right THAT'S why i
Like About plane crash at. Thirty two people make fun
of Me About, john HYATT but i like, the LYRICS
like i think he paints a great picture. With lyrics
that's one of THE things i. Always enjoyed but the
same Thing With. Neil diamond we've talked about, mix, ups
right mix ups you've had here at the hospital, And
stuff but how about a mix up at? A, Funeral
POLLARD what i got a good one? For You what
dad went to the wrong funeral? Parlor, once oh. No
funeral yeah it WAS named i don't know. Which vanished
like do they have TWO or i? Don't know yeah.
There was there was One in greece and One. In webster,
oh No old dad went to the. Wrong, one yeah.
Speaker 2: Years ago, He goes i'm. LOOKING around i don't. Know
anybody oh. IT'S up i went to the wrong. Funeral,
hole like did? You leave, he, goes no fucking advertisers.
Speaker 1: ARE as, i, go well did you? Leave it go
to the?
Speaker 2: Right way, He, GOES no i Go. To wegmans you
didn't even say you're you know he went to and, he,
goes yeah, he goes he wouldn't, miss me couldn't.
Speaker 1: Believe it i'm sure the person knew that he had
tried to pay. These respects and, again.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah one of my dad's old band members Came
into forestill, Last night tony a.
Speaker 1: Bass player, HE goes i.
Speaker 2: Just remember those days singing with, Your Dad dave phelps.
ALMOST review i forget the bar. They were, SHE goes
i love the text Him now he text him. A picture, Hour,
later dad text your, bank, now yeah you'll Get. It wednesday,
it's Like, carry god yes.
Speaker 1: It is. That's, funny well there was a mix up
at a funeral parlor where listen To this doug ladies.
Uncle dies they are at the funeral collar she goes
to pay her. Last respects it was a guy laying
there and my. Uncle soup but it wasn't. My uncle
what did? YOU think i just kept making. AT him i.
DIDN'T know i was just kept looking at him and.
Speaker 3: Kept looking, i'm like, what men he couldn't have got,
That dark.
Speaker 1: Hunt says she knew something was wrong and asked a
worker at the mortuary.
Speaker 3: For help she, was, like, oh yes that's. YOUR uncle,
i said that's not. My uncle my uncle wouldn't have got.
That dark how about the here's a picture. Of HIM
and i showed her a picture and she, was like.
YOU'RE right i would give us. One minute, One minute.
Speaker 1: Hunt says she and her family waited, three hours.
Speaker 2: Put you in a cremation and for a little tan
and then bringing back out just.
Speaker 1: As well we used to we used to call of
tanning salons as A bit danny who's on, the podcast
and when we were part of, THE breakroom i, You,
said danny call tanning salons and say he was calling
from a funeral parlor and the makeup artist had called
in sick, that day and we have a viewing in.
Two hours can we bring the body around just to
get a little color on the face a? Little bit
and you would get some people, would, go well you
realize there's. Nothing happening you can't it's not going to
absorb into the skin. Or, anything no that's what. They
said so but one. Girl go sometimes you just get these.
Poor teenagers and we would always Call, the south so,
we go oh, my, gosh okay we'll tell. You what
you come around the back and we can even do
a spray tan there GO and, i go, all right
we'll hold it up, like weekend and birdies and the
body and they and they fell for the whole like
the whole bit was how Long can danny keep the tanning?
Salon on and we give you choice of like a
listener choice to play along for, a prize, you know
would it be, thirty seconds ninety seconds or? Two minutes
and some mean some of them were absolutely, Outrageously funny,
i'm sure outrageously.
Speaker 2: Trying to help him behead Of the.
Speaker 1: Southern, hospitality yeah but, uh yeah could you imagine like
you walk in and it's not your father to your
point of. Being darker obviously this is a black woman
and it's her uncle's black, and yeah no.
Speaker 2: Your skin but they mix up the people with.
Speaker 1: The, suit well they put the suit on the right
suit of the, wrong. GUY right.
Speaker 2: I think my father word was somebody who worked at
a at a, funeral home and every now and then
he would come in with a new suit that was
stitched down. The, back oh you would keep the suit
every now and then because that's how you get, it
on and you cut it from, the back put the
arms in because of, rigi mortis and then you stew
it up in.
Speaker 1: The back you don't, Do, IT oh i Thought, THEY
yeah i got thought when they, embalm you oh sure you're,
probably naked, yeah yeah and. Your, stiff yeah well usually
they try TO get i was told by a funeral
director that they know guys are dumb when they have,
an erection like they have enough in bombing fluid. In,
them really that's what. They said THAT'S what i. WAS
told i don't know If.
Speaker 2: IT'S georgean i had an uncle that worked at a
funeral holy funeral and wanted to be a, poor guy
wanted to be. A, magician yes catchphrase was abercadaber.
Speaker 1: Really really? That, ONE no i just like the way.
Speaker 2: YOU laugh i Don't think i've ever told, that Joke
and i've been hanging on to it.
Speaker 1: FOR years, abcd, Yeah, cadaver yeah you. GET it i. Get.
Speaker 2: It, SO yeah i couldn't imagine going to a.
Speaker 1: Funeral, Parlor, no no she knew.
Speaker 2: The, suit YEAH so i wondering if she probably brought the. Suit,
over well that's. The knees he didn't have, Any kids
and she, was responding you, got it you, got it and.
Speaker 1: That's that's not. MY uncle i, Don't, Know, like okay
let's say. That happens are you suing because she's suing
the funeral caller for, everybody stress, emotional stress, its dead.
It's traumatic i'll tell you WHAT which i would laugh
at your FUNERAL free i would laugh EVERY time i
thought of. THE funeral I would, I mean i think in,
THE moment i would, BE upset i would be. HURT
whatever i think that as time, WENT on i would
go one of the funniest. Fucking things how about even
on the, Way out uncle so and so was. So
funny look what?
Speaker 2: Happened somebody you KNOW what, i mean because in my, mind, say,
hey yeah you're gonna be late to your own funeral for.
Speaker 1: Some people get you know that you had to get
one more joke in otis? My man you got locked up.
Every weekend that's the. Town Drunk, Uh yeah but Why
dore some businesses double down when they know The wrong,
like yeah like That's what, I'm saying like they doubled
down in terms of, you know.
Speaker 2: Some things you just have to bite the, Bullet, out yeah?
Speaker 1: Wouldn't? You YES and i gotta think. There too you're
dealing with people like no one comes to the Funeral
hires you hires the funeral home because It's just friday
and we want. To party that's not why we, go
there you Know what. I'm saying so you have to
be used to dealing with people at the, worst moments. You,
Know yes like my son is who Lives In New,
york city he's talking about possibly working as, a dispatcher
possibly nine one, One OPERATOR and, i, go BOY that
i mean That is you're not calling nine one one
to go how's the? Weather today you're calling nine one
one because it is one of the worst moments of.
YOUR life i to you would have. Some stories yeah
she's a, crazy fuck though not, in bed but she's
just well it almost have. TO be i. DON'T know
i worry. About that we'll see where he goes, with
this if it. Even happens but.
Speaker 2: Good, overtime, though well they can't find anybody to. Do
it how is nobody able to find anybody in any
kind of job?
Speaker 1: THESE days I think i feel like they're they're finding maybe,
maybe dog maybe my. Phone working, you know you're not,
worth working BUT MAYBE i i don't know. ABOUT that
i feel like there are people out there who. Are
working but, YOU'RE right, i mean it does feel like
in certain fields were there's a bigger demand for, people,
healthcare TEACHING or i mean seriously big ones that are looking.
For people but there's also that requires. More education that's the.
Other thing those are jobs that you want somebody who
kind of knows what they're doing in both. Right positions
schools aren't that, Expensive, still no, they're, Affordable Right but i'm, just,
saying like just it's not even that it's you got
to get a four, year degree plus you gotta get
a master's to be, a TEACHER and i who knows,
FOR healthcare i mean nursing. And stuff it's, it's, Demanding,
right yes, it's demanding and it's sometimes those schools are
FIVE years i, don't know AND so i wonder if
that's part of. The problem and to, your point, YOU
know i want to be. AN influencer i want to.
Be whatever somebody to watch. My, VIDEOS yeah i, want someone.
You know i'm an. Attention seeker my Name Is, bill
MORAN and i seek Attention CONCEPT cheetos i want you.
Don't want i'm gonna work that you should after. THIS
episode i got a ton OF things i gotta do.
CREATIVE wise i think We're gonna i'm Gonna send. CHEETOS
something i THINK so i think. You.
Speaker 2: Should yeah it's tough getting out there. And writing and,
You know i've got sponsors FOR my. Uh, fundraiser yeah
and just the OTHER day I.
Speaker 1: Wrote pepsi, you.
Speaker 2: Know you gotta gotta line. Them up you gotta go through.
The internet WHO am? I getting do you need? This
information do you need this? This proof what organization do you?
WORK for i don't work. For them i'm. A volunteer
this is. My contact you make sure the person on
the other end and then try to bring it. To
LIFE and i still like going out and. Meeting people
this is. My Event I'm doug. Phelps handshake you're giving me.
The donation but, FOR this i think that you just
gotta knock. On doors all of us are capable.
Speaker 1: Of more but the idea of knocking on a door
versus laying on my couch with the Bag of cheetos
and watching the. Next game do you Understand what? I'm
SAYING or i you? KNOW what i really need to
Stay In and i'm gonna. Write tonight i'm. GONNA write
i have this idea, for screenplay whatever, it Is and
i'm just gonna write unless see where. It GOES or
i get on social MEDIA and i see a live
VIDEO and, i, go shit they're. All, THERE fuck i.
Gotta go you KNOW what? I mean and where you're? Looking,
for ess we do think covered. WITH cheetos i wonder
what kind Of shit i'm gonna? Get that but what's
gonna pop up in? My? Feet? Right uh but it's
it's so easy that here, we go here. We go gotta, Take, This?
Hello jamison? What?
Speaker 2: What SO the cw tomorrow will have marks hockey. Game,
out yeah one at, two thirty so it's. GAME five
i don't want to do this and today hit. The,
emorks no, it's tomorrow so if anybody wants to, watch
it yeah.
Speaker 1: Under emirks, YEAH back i think, All, Right jameson i'm
trying to do. A podcast can you do what.
Speaker 2: My father, always said let your conscience be.
Speaker 1: YOUR guy i don't THINK it's i don't think my.
Wallet's home so you looked at? My wallet oh. That's
good did you find that kind of from nineteen? Seventy?
Three better so you already took the money and you?
Need more? Yes? You? Yes, yeah okay, all, right goodbye
send it.
Speaker 2: To, me, yes, okay dad what's the? Newest Disaster fucking
cheeto's bag is gonna be gone in half. An hour
this is your emotional.
Speaker 1: SUPPORT snack i don't know what's going on in. My,
life sometimes, you know it's just, right now it just
seems to be a little. More little you're still driving,
the train but, you're like where's? It Going sometimes, Sometimes
yeah i'm batting down, the hatches saying, oh, yeah, buddy
hey you.
Speaker 2: Gotta bet down. The hatches you gotta. STAND firm, i
know but get your. Ship together that was a.
Speaker 1: Good. One dude what do you get your? Ship together
what does? That? Mean right it's usually the people that. Were, together,
No no i'm not. Saying you i'm saying and how
do you.
Speaker 2: React to that when your father is dressed in a
a onesie with.
Speaker 1: A fucking came. HANGING out i want this. ROOM clean
i gotta go sing for.
Speaker 2: Three HOURS when i, GET back i want the cash shit,
taken out all.
Speaker 1: The all the. LAWN mode i want you to do. The. Dishes, uh,
oh SERIOUSLY how i didn't get ON drugs i was
thirteen years old. Is, AMAZING yes i. DON'T know i
don't know what. That THINGS sometimes i really. Don't dug
it's one of these things where what are? You?
Speaker 2: Thinking yeah oh what were? You thinking did you ever
get told you need to have your?
Speaker 1: Head? Examined OH yeah. I had i still. Do that were,
YOU thinking i, don't know you should get your? Head?
Examined examined do you need to have your? HEAD examined
i would hear that. A, lot yeah why don't you
bring your father to tower in to fix? This problem what? My?
Kid yeah old lady? The belt remember did you ever get.
The belt we see all. This stuff, he's LIKE what
i see with my kid is a RESULT of i
gotta be CAREFUL how, i Say because i've already gotten,
nasty texts. No, Thing no but it's the result of
he's kind of a feral GUY because i think in,
his mind at crucial years in, his life he felt
like the only person he could depend upon, was himself
and so because, of that he'll just do what he
feels is the best decision, for him regardless and. Or
irregard but it's just it's not and we need. To
conform so my thing isn't so much at. This age yell.
At him he's six. FOOT whatever, i mean He, can
yeah you can. Say that i'd Rather say i'm, really
disappointed or, you know, someone else? What else do whatever,
You want do whatever, You, want yeah. Go AHEAD but i,
get told like somebody said, to, me well it's, gentle
PARENTING and, i go it's it's, not exactly because there
are real boundaries and real. Rules HERE but i feel
like the better way isn't to scream at you and
tell you how wrong you are and why would you possibly?
Do that because all that would make me do who
is of a similar personality is find a way. AROUND
you i would. Be water you're. The rock i'm finding
a way around. You know AND so i don't, Want
That and i'd rather be a matador, to say come
over here and let's see how good it is, over
here and let's build, over here and that That's what
i'm trying. TO build i, Get you but at the,
same time there's many other things happening all. At once
it's all coming, at once and so you gotta you're my. Only.
FRIEND cheetos i need my Bag. Of cheetos everything's gonna.
Be okay that's what you Need to if you Get
the cheetos, On this i'm gonna. WEAR orange i defit
t all you.
Speaker 2: Needed, Life damn maybe you should go and skip the
Games with cheetos and make some.
Speaker 1: Real money, that's it. That's all. That's it WHAT could?
I do? Over man gave you over? Done done but
that was just a call, to SAY can i send
you ten dollars on? Cash app and you give me ten? Dollars,
Cash UH and I said i was, Gonna, go well
what do YOU mean? I go my wallet's not Even
know yeah, IT is. I go that means you looked at.
My wallet YOU know i have ten dollars in THERE
because i never have any who has? CASH anymore. I
do excuse, excuse me. That's true. Excuse Me so, i'm,
LIKE yeah, i, GUESS okay i have. NO idea i
don't know what's happening. On, This sorry, i'm. Sorry buddy
i'm always here, to listen? ARE you? I am i know.
You listened. Last night Should Be dougie, Fresh therapy, damn skippy,
You know, Cheeto therapy. Cheato therapy. That's it, that's. It
buddy it's not easy being Cheesy for bill ran to see.
Speaker 2: You tomorrow stout in by a dad in about the
unit state
Speaker 1: Seem they were looking borrow kind of Night with tenna
see please