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Speaker 1: Brittany continues to just Brittany out. You call somebody ever

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hear I'm ficked by camp with.

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Speaker 2: Them, Oh, set home by, I'm fucking my kids. Well,

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I'm fucking.

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Speaker 1: Hi alone.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to bad TV.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dylan.

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Speaker 2: That is fat great to be here.

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Speaker 1: We are here to break down the worst show that

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Provo has going, but our favorite.

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Speaker 2: I love it. I love the Valley.

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Speaker 1: This episode kind of ventured into those murky waters of Oh,

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I don't like this. I just went through this six

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months ago.

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Speaker 2: I don't need this in real life.

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Speaker 1: In real life, I'd argue.

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Speaker 2: That this show is a created as a deterrent to

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not get married or have children. Yeah, and i'd always the.

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Speaker 1: Dare program for Rearing families adults.

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Speaker 2: I dare I say it's possibly, quite possibly a platform

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to promote being a single gay man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he gets a butt fuck.

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Speaker 2: All day Martini. He's at eleven am sex whoever you want.

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I guess that's the butt fucking right.

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Speaker 1: That isn't fucking yeah.

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Speaker 2: Vacation and goddamn peace. Not chase your fucking wife around?

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Speaker 1: Going right? Do you like me? Now? The gay man

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still will cry because he's at a crossroads. Do I

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marry this man? Or do I see him deported?

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Speaker 2: I don't think he cares.

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Speaker 1: Actually no, no, we'll get into all of it, but

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first we should say pager dot com, Rhode Island Reunions

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will be there. Our whole Rhode Island season is there.

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We just covered Summerhouse.

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Speaker 3: After Math, Aftermath, amazing, rivening forty two minutes television hear

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the breakdown with Ruby rubstpatroon dot com, Slash another podcast network.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into our sniffs what bump bumps?

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Speaker 2: Oh damn it, it's fine, I forgot to put it.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into our rotten house. Okay, okay, we could

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say crab boils before major reconstructive surgery. That could be

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a rating system. Let's say go ahead, take the wheel, dolly, okay,

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how many would uh? What did you think?

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Speaker 2: This was a tough episode to get there?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: Spent a lot of time at that dinner that didn't

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work out, the birthday parties go They were trying to

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make something that wasn't happening. And dare dare I say

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even if that party did happen with no rain on

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the beach, it would still suck. I am still nine

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morons eating fish tacos, staring at each other.

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Speaker 1: I have I know these are your snaves, but I

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work in I've worked in podcasting for a long time

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and produced a fair amount of them, and people have

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come to me said, we have this idea for a show. Yeah,

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that sounds horrible in my head, and they go, well,

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we have a lot of money. I go, let's do it.

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But you sit there and you go, my god, it's

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so bad. I know these are your sneeves, but I

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think the producers at this resort have a similar feeling

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when if you're in Mexico and there's nine cast members,

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be it rain or shine. If you've got the goods,

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you've got the goods. There is no lull, there's no

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awkward silence, there's no people looking around going what are

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we doing here? This is so fucking boring. This cast

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needs a little bit of a lift.

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Speaker 2: I guess I said. What I would have done as

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a producer is I said, all right, the staff who's

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not working tonight, free drinks, free food, have them dress

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up ten to fifteen, get them over at ten to

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fifteen of them dress up to the nines, come on

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over for some free fish tacosh, mix it up.

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Speaker 1: Who's not going to come over for free fish tacos?

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Speaker 2: I mean, Danny will be annoying him. He'll be smacking

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ass to say, go get daddy a drink. Absolutely, we

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need some fun here they I know that they have

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to sign off on things and whatnot, but it's just

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it really is so low energy and just so boring.

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It's why not just allow some of the civilians of

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this resort to hang out there?

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Speaker 1: But see, you know that's that's the straws that were

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grasping at like, we can't do that. This is the show,

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this is the cast. We can't welcome in the off

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duty resort workers. That's not a reality.

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Speaker 2: Don't you remember when Rock of Love season one? I

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guess it was the two final No okay, well, there

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was a part where Brett bought the two brought the

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two lucky ladies that were the two finalists. Oh their

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dad's in no, no, no oh. He brought them town

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to probably the same resort, and one of the lucky

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ladies she wanted to fuck one of the girls that

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greeted her at the hotel. I remember the girl was

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so hot. She was doing like some kind of Symbolic Dancer,

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and she was like, hey, screw bread I want to

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fuck her.

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Speaker 1: I remember about that show where that one of the

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ladies they went to go see Brett perform and she

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was so overwhelmed by her alcoholism actually that she blacked

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down and threw up all over the toilet. In the

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band was like, my god, I think she stayed around

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for like three weeks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that. I think she drives a forklift now,

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oh yeah, she lived well.

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Speaker 1: She drives it well. One of the wizards of the

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joysticks that you see on the social media's go.

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Speaker 2: Ahead anyway, this episode sucks. Zero cocaine bump.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and give it zero cocaine bumps

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and absolutely no crap before major reconstructive surgery, because it

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is not okay to throw a woman going through severe

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postpartum to pre in front of the cameras and make

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her fly to Mexico with a four month.

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Speaker 2: Old with her sister and brother in law, and she

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is signing up to get a paycheck. She should not

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have filmed this season, but she is here for the paycheck.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing she can do. She's unemployable. I get it.

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It's a rock and a hard place. It's just not

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great TV. I feel for Kristin. What she's going through

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is so difficult. I don't want to travel with my

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with a four month old. And I'm a guy. I

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know we get the postpartum blues, but nothing compared to

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women they actually gave birth. So what she's going through

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is just fucking brutal.

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Speaker 2: I want to give Luke some advice because I think

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I think I'm out of the woods at this point.

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I have a three year old.

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Speaker 1: This famous last words, but I do think you are.

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Speaker 2: I think I am been there, done that. Luke right,

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what he's doing here is just a fool's errand which

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is trying to logic his way out of this.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing logicing your way out of it?

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Speaker 2: And asking the friend and for her take. The more

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he talks is like throwing dry wood on a fire.

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You're trying to put that fire out your only Uh,

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you can't use dry wood. No, that's one of the

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worst things you can use. To quote Mickey, who was

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Rocky's corner man about the mount get out of their

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rock right, get out of there, because Rocky was getting

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his face beating the ship out of he was trying

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to help him out. Get out of their rock, Luke,

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get out of there, say nothing, Rub her on her

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back and say nothing. Indoor, indoor, Get through it.

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Speaker 1: Don't be a wimp.

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Speaker 2: Did I already say zero bumps? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, let's talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Can I start as right? Go ahead? Okay, I'm

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gonna we bounce around everywhere.

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Speaker 1: I guess I want to stop at Danny's.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well we start there. Santa Coretas sucks. Oh yeah,

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and Danny.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's so crazy that they edit out the

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spider people that are crawling in the hills.

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Speaker 2: It's amazing. One eat the birds that have legs. They

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eat the.

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Speaker 1: Birds, they eat what what few deer roam those hills?

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Speaker 2: They eat the deers haven't been around for.

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Speaker 1: Well. A fawn works its way into the fold every

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once in a while. But they have evolved to know

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that the back bent people, the people that walk on

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their hands with their backs pointed towards the ground, are dangerous,

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so they edit all those people out. But it's interesting

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that Danny's humored is just crushing at the house, right.

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He does so well with toddlers. He just farts he

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makes fart noise. Oh, he's such a great depth.

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Speaker 2: And she loves the hell out of him. Yeah, she

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loves all right, let's go over to Jason and Janet's house.

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Jason is still recovering from that mission where he saved

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six soldiers from enemy fire. Also took a bullet. Oh,

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I'm sorry, wrong.

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Speaker 1: Note now that was Loan Survivor right.

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Speaker 2: No, he Jason actually tripped over his own feet on

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the basketball court.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, a lot of callback. Now, we never could

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get the words done. Nick really nailed that. That was

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that was Yeah, Nick was really good at wrapping that.

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But yes, he did tear his a c l during

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a pickup basketball game. And that's I don't think that's

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uhgyz Alia quite level of you feel good? I feel hot,

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fire Mark.

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Speaker 2: Have you seen her freestyle?

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Speaker 1: No, you've never seen her freestyle.

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Speaker 2: It's good.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's summertime. Summertime, baby, and you know what summer mean.

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You gotta address and you gotta address how you dress.

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Speaker 2: Oh, well, you shouldn't know how you dress all the time.

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Speaker 1: Right, but when summer comes, you got to change how

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you get dressed. You got to get pieces that feel lighter,

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more breatheable things that are easy but still put together,

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and what is the perfect place for that?

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Speaker 2: Quints Quints.

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Speaker 1: They focus on high quality essentials that feel and look amazing.

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Think breathable linen, soft organic cotton, well made basics without

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the luxury markup. Okay, Quince is spectacular.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, let me know when you need a personal

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testimony deal, because I got one.

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Speaker 1: I would like it actually right now.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So I bought a Quinn's shirt. It was a

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dress shirt. I wore it at a party. This was

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last Saturday. My wife and I went. I went up

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to this bar. This house. Party had like a bartender

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and stuff. A pretty cool girls kept coming up to

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me and go, Pat, take a shot with me. That's

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what this shirt did. I felt so handsome and so

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cool in this new shirt because it fit my body perfectly.

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I have broad shoulders, but for some reason, these sh

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it's just like fit my body and need it look hot.

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Speaker 1: They take Pat's broad, powerful, masculine so shoulders and they

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taper down to his delicate, sexy little waist. Okay, that's

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what quins does. It's magic.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to put this in Maybe it should

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be in the disclaimer. But if you wear this shirt,

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people might come up to you.

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Speaker 1: Elevate your summer wardrobe. Okay, okay, I thought, okay, elevate

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your summer wardrobe. Go to quins dot com slash bad

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tv for free shipping on your order in three hundred

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and sixty five day returns.

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Speaker 2: Now available in Canada too.

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Speaker 1: That's cute you I n ce dot com slash bad

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tv for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five

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day returns. Quints dot com slash bad TV. Thank you

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for sponsoring the show. Oh go ahead, vamp, I have

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to pull it ou.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay. Then now Kristen visits brit and apparently Kristen

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was up all night taking passport photos of the baby.

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And then Britt's up to me.

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Speaker 1: Can you just stop showing a second.

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Speaker 2: Quite closer?

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Speaker 4: I feel time of months? Tiger months.

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Speaker 2: Sin's trying with the five months when the green lay

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starting at the way train mes she no fans get

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see on the pants or raped or bitch who didn't

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like go like, there's your face one.

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Speaker 4: Of my face gets talking about to stalking. We win

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now win win a win now window win now Winna

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been good like she got holes one cold got hands

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on to take at coaches gimmage, and that's not total.

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There's many know the turl and sling.

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Speaker 1: No came, okay, gotta give a camero point.

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Speaker 2: You don't.

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Speaker 4: You gotta two being up fright, I don't train crack.

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Speaker 2: We go to the said you don't think you do it?

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Speaker 1: Okay, can you imagine you threw an N word in there.

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Speaker 2: Imagine there is a zombie apocalyp and pats like the

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leader or.

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Speaker 1: Whatever, and I look at the way, Sorry, you're the leader.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm the leader because I'm a survivalist. You know,

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I'll probably survive. You're and we're up on a hill. Okay,

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we just like survived the first like the first wave

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of the zombies, right, and I look around. I go,

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all right, everybody, name your skill for survival it. Iggy's

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there and she starts doing that.

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Speaker 1: She's a survivor list too.

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Speaker 2: Well, No, she made the first wave somehow.

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Speaker 1: Okay, maybe she did that confuse the zombies or something.

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It's so crazy when you're in public life, how like

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you have to commit to like she she did a

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rap song and they're like, okay, you're going to do

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this and She's like, I.

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Speaker 2: Guess I personally thought that was awful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well you don't know rap, that's why you

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thought it was awful. Okay, So let's get to the

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meal train. Let's talk about the meal all right.

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Speaker 2: So Nia, by the way, Britt really hates Nia. She does,

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and she thought that that baby train stuff was really

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just for shit because after the Mommy makeover happened, she

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never checked in on Now.

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Speaker 1: We defended Nia to a certain degree last episode, and

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our fans they didn't come after us. They just had

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different takes on it. And I think a lot of

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people don't like Nia. And it's not because she's beautiful.

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It's because she's a fake, monstrous human being.

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Speaker 2: I think need a little more time to sit on

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that one, yeap sit on it.

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Speaker 1: I think that maybe monstrous is a little too intense.

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But capable of monstrous, I think is an easy thing

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to say about Nia. Perhaps the Spider people are staying

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away from their home because she's the queen of them.

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She sets up this meal train on camera very loudly

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in front of a ring of people. Then after the surgery,

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nothing that that doesn't make any sense, that's not.

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Speaker 4: It.

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Speaker 1: That's that lego set does not get built.

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Speaker 2: It is a great point.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So.

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Speaker 2: Nia is although didn't Nia have a conflicting uh, a

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different version of their communication.

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Speaker 1: No, she just said that she's sorry that she didn't

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reach out. She's got four four kids crawling on her

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all the time.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's yeah, that's not good.

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Speaker 1: No, no, it's not. Now. Kristin Well, Brittany says that

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Nia is a performative strength pulling monster, and Kristin is

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the fly in the teeth that are closing it. Okay,

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Kristen's like Nia fandom, It just it weirds. I don't

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understand it. I don't get where it's coming from.

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Speaker 2: It's not fandom, it's a it's an alligance, an alliance

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that she seeks.

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Speaker 1: I think Kristin has come from such a rat like exists.

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Excuse me, Christen's come from such a rat like existence

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in the past, what with being a waitress. It's sir

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for so many years and don't come for me. You know. Look,

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they literally hung out in alleyways and smoked. Okay, if

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00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:09,279
rats could smoke, that's what they'd do. Okay. There were

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broken bed frames by them all the time. She sees

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Nia and she's like this angelic, radiant Christian woman seems

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like a good kind of thing to aspire to, but

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it's just this very desperate cling to the image of

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her that's very bizarre. But yeah, I don't need to

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get too deep into the valley fair enough.

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Speaker 2: I found this was funny. This part was funny. Britt

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thinks that despite what she said, she said, Danny and

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Nia are great people, and they're fake as fucking Danny

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is an inappropriate drunk, but they're great people, which I'd

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argue are conflicting.

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Speaker 1: They're conflicting again the legos that's not getting built. And

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can I say that if we do dive too deep

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into the psycho babbles of these people, we should just

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say something along the of like we've hit Van Allen, right,

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because then you're going too deep in the valley and

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people that are not from here. When you go north

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into the San Fernando Valley, you start to encounter a

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lot of shopping carts chained to telephone poles, and that's

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when you've gone too deep, because why would you chain it?

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Speaker 2: I just wondered why that.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to the two stars of the show, Jasmine

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and Zach Jasmine beautiful ass put an ass.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna say, all right, so, yeah, we're at

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bumpy and they get butt facials. I never knew this existed.

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Jasmine's ass. I'm a huge fan. Zach's ass looks like

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an ant hill where the answer they won't enter because

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00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:44,880
they're they're very concerned.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it looks like answer are weary of the structural

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integrity of the hill and they won't go in there

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because it's so flat. And I do feel bad for

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00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,640
him as a gay man. The rumps in the gay

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00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,039
community are just fucking fire. And then you get to

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00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,279
Zach and it looks like a bunny slope.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure it looks way better. He even to his

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00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,599
own admission, said that it looks that way because after

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two decades of getting plunged like a clog sink, you

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00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:14,960
know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Okay, right, that's why it.

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Speaker 2: Looks that way.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna go toilet just because there's

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00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,359
shit in the toilet. Well, they're shit and asses. That's

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00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,079
how asses are. They have shit in them.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to be crass, Dylan.

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Speaker 1: I lost my train of thought because of the lewd analogy.

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You just put forth.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Jasmine's ass was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we already said that.

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Speaker 2: Oh right, uh oh.

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Speaker 1: If you were a gay man with means and you

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00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,519
have an ass that looks like this, you get enhancements.

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And the problem with Zach is that he doesn't own

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00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:55,400
any furniture and he lives in a box with holes

355
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,559
in the dry wall, so he's in no position. Maybe

356
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,880
next season make those enhancements. Yet a girl can dream.

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So Zach brings up that Danny was lying about drinking

358
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:13,440
at the house, and this is well trod, right, he

359
00:19:13,599 --> 00:19:16,279
lies about drinking, that's right, because he's an alcoholic, and

360
00:19:16,319 --> 00:19:22,440
he's also fearful of scorn. We get into why he

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00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:27,039
is not marrying Benji, who is about to be thrown

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00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,119
ruthlessly out of the country by little Stephen Miller. I

363
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,480
think Steven Miller himself is going to come knock. He's

364
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,759
a big fan of the valley. He can't wait to

365
00:19:33,759 --> 00:19:34,440
throw Benji out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's right, Yeah, yeah, he wants to get him

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00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:39,160
out of here.

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00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,039
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. When Stephen Miller was a young man and

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making those speeches about how the janitors are disgusting, he

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00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,720
was thinking about Benji and Mexicans right.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, but Benji wants to have kids, and

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00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:57,799
although Zach says over and over again that he wants kids,

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one day, he's still on the fence when he really

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thinks about it.

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Speaker 1: Zach has a I would say, quasi decent relation reason

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00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,519
for not wanting to get married, and it has to

377
00:20:07,599 --> 00:20:10,440
do with kids, And we should on Zach constantly. But

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00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:14,680
I do think that that's a very good reason to

379
00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:18,200
be hesitant about marrying somebody. You gotta be in alignment

380
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,759
on that issue. Now he does weep while a woman

381
00:20:20,839 --> 00:20:23,920
is rubbing his ass, and it's very awkward. I should say,

382
00:20:25,039 --> 00:20:27,160
as much shit as we give these two, who are

383
00:20:27,319 --> 00:20:31,599
just bad television, do not have it farm ball players.

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This was actually a pretty good scene with the two

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of them.

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Speaker 2: It was pretty fun. Okay, I wanted to look up

387
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,359
where Bumpy was.

388
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 1: Do you want to go?

389
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: I want to call that person you want to do?

390
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,079
Not do this right now? No, I'm not going to.

391
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:51,119
I just hey.

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00:20:51,279 --> 00:20:53,519
Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Loomy Gummies. Loomy

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00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:54,839
know you, I mean, your thumbs get a little out

452
00:23:54,839 --> 00:23:58,160
of control sometimes, I know. I mean, we had a

453
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:02,359
fifteen minute conversation with a a hotel worker that we

454
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:06,279
had to cut a large amount. Well not we didn't

455
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:07,799
cut the entire thing out, but I think that you

456
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,359
called I think you called the wind and said that

457
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,400
you were Chinese and that you wanted to get the

458
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,839
suite or something like that. I think that's what happened.

459
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 2: Anyways, we know I said I was a whale, if

460
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,920
you were a whale said hold on, let me get

461
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:24,279
you through.

462
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 1: Also, i'd like to say we'll likely do this podcast

463
00:24:27,519 --> 00:24:29,240
until one of us dies. It'll be me first, I

464
00:24:29,279 --> 00:24:33,759
would imagine. But I have to not live in a

465
00:24:33,799 --> 00:24:37,160
place where this can be done. We've talked about it before.

466
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,759
I'm probably going to leave Los Angeles eventually. I can't

467
00:24:39,839 --> 00:24:42,640
be in cities where this is availab.

468
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,279
Speaker 2: I don't think it's a real business. I just looked

469
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,480
up on Yelp and I can't find it. Does enlist it?

470
00:24:47,799 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so funny, like if we ever did move

471
00:24:50,839 --> 00:24:53,960
to like a forested area, I would miss pink Berry, right,

472
00:24:54,079 --> 00:24:56,759
but I wouldn't miss that next to the Pinkberry is

473
00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:58,839
a place where Zach got his ass rupped down while

474
00:24:58,839 --> 00:25:01,160
he cried about Benji thrown out of the country by

475
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:05,720
Steven Biller. Okay, let's meanwhile, Meanwhile, we.

476
00:25:05,799 --> 00:25:08,599
Speaker 2: Pounced around the valley as everyone is preparing to go

477
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,160
to Mexico.

478
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 1: FaceTime with Nia. Nia's got makeup on. During the FaceTime,

479
00:25:13,319 --> 00:25:20,400
I am starting to really think Nia might be bad news.

480
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 2: All right, fine, I'm open to this. Yeah or well prepared? Yeah,

481
00:25:27,079 --> 00:25:28,480
well prepared, calculated.

482
00:25:28,599 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: She has a roy Cone kind of energy. I don't

483
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,880
it spooks me. FaceTime with cast member glam.

484
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,279
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I was gonna say at Danny's place their

485
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:47,680
daughter was that Adelaine, Yeah, she takes after daddy. They

486
00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:51,079
both hate Janet with the passion of seven sons.

487
00:25:51,279 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

488
00:25:51,599 --> 00:25:54,319
Speaker 2: And also, if you look close enough, Adelaide pounded at

489
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,759
natty light and then she hid it under the couch,

490
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:57,960
just like Daddy.

491
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,839
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then Adelaide said, what are you talking about?

492
00:26:00,839 --> 00:26:04,559
I had like four of those ice drinks. God, she

493
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,200
is so advanced for her age. She's also a vicious alcoholic.

494
00:26:08,279 --> 00:26:11,960
It sucks, It really does, it really does. But we

495
00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:14,920
also get to Janet, who asked Jason if if she

496
00:26:15,039 --> 00:26:20,920
can film, and he don't keep talking. She asked Jason

497
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,480
if she can go to Mexico, and he says, yeah,

498
00:26:24,599 --> 00:26:28,359
you're about to get thrown off the show. Yeah, please

499
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,920
go to Mexico and film. You're not gonna get a

500
00:26:31,039 --> 00:26:35,000
third season regardless, but this can't hurt, so yeah, please

501
00:26:35,079 --> 00:26:39,119
do Yeah, he said, go ahead.

502
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 2: Pussy, pussy, pussy, pet.

503
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 1: Pet.

504
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,079
Speaker 2: He can't fucking go to Mexico. He cannot get out

505
00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:58,519
of bed, he has he just tore his a c

506
00:26:58,759 --> 00:27:02,319
l this this is like six weeks later, dude.

507
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,519
Speaker 1: It's a really serious injury. I don't know if you

508
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,720
know how serious the injury is okay.

509
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 2: If there was an earthquake and the house was collapsing,

510
00:27:11,319 --> 00:27:13,440
could he stand up and run out of the house.

511
00:27:13,559 --> 00:27:13,599
Speaker 4: Not?

512
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:19,599
Speaker 1: Well, no, pat, your knee is not. His knee is not.

513
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,799
It's kind of like floating right now. This part and

514
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,839
this part are not really attached all that. Well, it's

515
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,200
kind of a big deal. Let's put it this way.

516
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,680
If there was an earthquake and he planted that foot

517
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,200
to go run, his knee would just gross. Things would

518
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,880
happen all over again in a wheelchair.

519
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,079
Speaker 2: Then Brittany does it.

520
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 1: Brittany definitely does it. Yeah, all right, So let's get to.

521
00:27:47,839 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: Airport.

522
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,799
Speaker 1: Airport, Britney is wheeled in and we land in Port

523
00:27:50,839 --> 00:27:53,680
of Iarta, and Kristen is losing it and I completely

524
00:27:53,799 --> 00:27:57,839
understand why she's upset. Evidently a fan took a picture

525
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,599
of her and her naked child while she was in

526
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,200
an airport bathroom. Not okay, don't take pictures of me

527
00:28:04,279 --> 00:28:04,880
and my child.

528
00:28:05,799 --> 00:28:07,799
Speaker 2: I'd punch you in the fucking face, with or without

529
00:28:07,839 --> 00:28:08,240
clothes on.

530
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,039
Speaker 1: Do not do that.

531
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,799
Speaker 2: But I want to say this, and I'm not saying

532
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,519
in any way that would be right. However, when you're

533
00:28:15,759 --> 00:28:18,759
I don't think they were fans. I think they're probably

534
00:28:18,839 --> 00:28:22,839
just curious bystanders wondering what the fuck are these people

535
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,880
doing with eight camera cameras.

536
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, maybe I don't know that there are a

537
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,039
ton of fans in part of our article, but yeah,

538
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,279
elbow to the head whoever did that. I wish this

539
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:39,039
was I listen. I wish at a time like this,

540
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,119
I wish this was behind a paywall. But I do

541
00:28:41,359 --> 00:28:44,599
think that Christin. I get that it's complicated because she's breastfeeding.

542
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:49,079
I think that Kristin could benefit from some pharmaceutical help,

543
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,920
some maybe some therapy. I don't know what she's doing,

544
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:52,640
but it would hurt.

545
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 2: It hurt the milk.

546
00:28:54,599 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 1: It would hurt the milk.

547
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, you can't fuck with that shit.

548
00:28:57,079 --> 00:28:57,359
Speaker 1: You can't.

549
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 2: You're saying, like, take like a Xanax to chill out

550
00:28:59,559 --> 00:29:01,559
or something. Maybe, I don't know.

551
00:29:01,599 --> 00:29:04,079
Speaker 1: I'm trying to evolve. I'm trying to evolve. I'm trying

552
00:29:04,119 --> 00:29:06,799
to be open for people to take, you know, prozac

553
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,680
and solonopin or whatever the hell it is so lofty.

554
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:10,039
Speaker 2: I don't know.

555
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:13,079
Speaker 1: She just seems like it's something that you can get through.

556
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,920
You just gotta you gotta get through it, but I

557
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,039
don't know from what I've heard, it can kind of

558
00:29:19,079 --> 00:29:22,200
stick around. She's not She's really not in a good place.

559
00:29:22,319 --> 00:29:24,000
She's racked with anxiety.

560
00:29:24,319 --> 00:29:28,119
Speaker 2: I find myself questioning and I shouldn't come at me.

561
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,920
I apologize. I'm not a dude. I have not walked

562
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:35,799
in a woman's shoes after baby. Oh I am a dude. Yeah, sorry,

563
00:29:36,359 --> 00:29:36,720
that's right.

564
00:29:36,839 --> 00:29:37,039
Speaker 1: Yeah.

565
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 2: Is she amping this up a little bit as a storyline.

566
00:29:41,759 --> 00:29:44,279
Speaker 1: I don't think she is. I think she's literally spinning

567
00:29:44,319 --> 00:29:46,319
out of control from the stress of the trip and

568
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,599
just making it this fucking massive thing.

569
00:29:49,519 --> 00:29:51,279
Speaker 2: Because she does not want to be here. She keeps

570
00:29:51,319 --> 00:29:54,359
saying things like I'd rather be home because I don't

571
00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:56,480
want to miss this moment. I'd argue you could say

572
00:29:56,559 --> 00:29:58,519
that about any moment in your childhood.

573
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: I think that she's using that, and there's it's a

574
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:06,200
half truth. I think that she doesn't want to film

575
00:30:06,279 --> 00:30:09,119
because who the fuck would want to film, right, But

576
00:30:09,319 --> 00:30:11,839
also she doesn't want to film because there's a little

577
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,039
Howard Hughes thing going on where she doesn't want to

578
00:30:14,039 --> 00:30:15,640
go outside. She doesn't want to go on this trip.

579
00:30:15,759 --> 00:30:18,039
Speaker 2: She just she just fucking gave birth.

580
00:30:18,079 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: She doesn't want to have to do this, but unfortunately

581
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,119
she was at Alli Rat for so long she can't

582
00:30:22,119 --> 00:30:24,880
do anything else. Yeah, so I fail for it. Yeah,

583
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,279
I feel for it too. It's not a fun thing

584
00:30:26,359 --> 00:30:31,559
to watch. But the babies. The babies get on one bus.

585
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,559
This is this is the kind of thing that like,

586
00:30:33,839 --> 00:30:39,039
it's a little triggering. Okay, Kristen is trying to sleep

587
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,599
this child and they arrive and this guy just blows

588
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,359
a fucking conkshell and wakes the baby out. Like I

589
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,279
would fucking lose it. I just I'd be like, why

590
00:30:49,319 --> 00:30:51,400
the fuck are we in part of ionnor right now?

591
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,680
We have a fucking child against Ali Rat.

592
00:30:54,079 --> 00:30:57,039
Speaker 2: Went to uh during spring break. We went with another

593
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,799
couple and the kids up to a UH up to

594
00:30:59,839 --> 00:31:04,160
a wine town and we went to a Michelin's star

595
00:31:04,359 --> 00:31:09,400
restaurant with the fucking kids and it was the most

596
00:31:09,839 --> 00:31:12,559
miserable fucking experience.

597
00:31:13,799 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: Nope, they they do not. And I used to always

598
00:31:18,039 --> 00:31:22,720
rip on our friends for saying, Nope, not doing it.

599
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,119
It's like, bring the kid. I always used to think,

600
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,519
be Dutch about it. Leave them outside, they're gonna be fine.

601
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,240
Take them to the tapas bar. We're going to be

602
00:31:33,319 --> 00:31:36,079
having a good time. Yeah, seven thirty, it doesn't matter.

603
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:41,119
They can sleep. No, no, no, no, you're negotiating with

604
00:31:41,279 --> 00:31:44,119
terrorists when you bring children to restaurants.

605
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 2: After saying terrorists you can negotiate with they want something.

606
00:31:51,359 --> 00:31:53,799
Speaker 1: It's a really good point. They're worse than al Qaeda,

607
00:31:54,039 --> 00:31:54,680
is what you're saying.

608
00:31:54,759 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 2: That's my point.

609
00:31:55,759 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 1: I feel like something that we glossed over pretty quickly

610
00:31:58,559 --> 00:32:01,039
was Jesse's credit card got declined.

611
00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 2: We did because they never touched on it. Again. God,

612
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:07,839
that guy's a loser.

613
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,839
Speaker 1: He's a bit of a loser. Lacy finds something in

614
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,200
him though, Oh yeah, the way that Buffalo Bill finds

615
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:15,920
things in people.

616
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:22,839
Speaker 2: Put the lotion on the bus cood. Yeah, she wants no,

617
00:32:23,079 --> 00:32:25,839
I said, I did I say this last episode she

618
00:32:26,039 --> 00:32:27,279
is using him to be on TV.

619
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I want her to continue to do it.

620
00:32:30,599 --> 00:32:34,680
I want her on OC. I want if Lacey was

621
00:32:34,759 --> 00:32:38,319
the nail in Tamra Judge's coffin. Oh my god, what

622
00:32:38,519 --> 00:32:39,799
a beautiful parallem.

623
00:32:39,839 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: By the way, they just ran the trailer for OC,

624
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,240
I am so upset that Emily and fucking Meatball are back.

625
00:32:46,279 --> 00:32:48,720
I'm like, no, I thought they got kicked off there

626
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:52,119
was a dumb posts. You can't believe the internet.

627
00:32:52,279 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: Emily and Meatball are back, yeah, and Tamer's back m hm,

628
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,559
and Vicky's on of course, and Jen Jen back Yep,

629
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:01,319
Katie's gone.

630
00:33:01,559 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: Katie's gone, and there's a one more newbie.

631
00:33:06,559 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: What about Gretchen? No, she's gone, she's gone. Gretchen came

632
00:33:11,079 --> 00:33:11,839
back for a season.

633
00:33:12,039 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, not good TV.

634
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: I thought she was fine TV. She's better TV than

635
00:33:17,279 --> 00:33:20,160
fucking Tamer and Meatball and Emily get in the comments,

636
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,480
let us know, all right. So Tom says we're here,

637
00:33:23,559 --> 00:33:27,279
let's booze it up and deliver and say okay. Luke says, yeah,

638
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:31,599
sounds good. And that's when Kristen goes, hey, buddy, got

639
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,039
a fucking four month old? Okay, will you handle that

640
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,720
before you start getting wasted with Tom Schwartz, who lives

641
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,119
across the street from Wiener Stenzel and a shotgun house,

642
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,599
too many steps dating a twenty seven year old? Okay,

643
00:33:46,039 --> 00:33:49,039
different lives. You want to go live that life. Fucking

644
00:33:49,119 --> 00:33:52,240
live that life, okay. And then she starts crying. He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa.

645
00:33:52,319 --> 00:33:55,240
I feel I feel like you're really coming down on

646
00:33:55,359 --> 00:33:55,880
me right now.

647
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, she is she is, Okay, I'm still checking in

648
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,119
those rooms. I think I wish God, I wish Ruby

649
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,400
was here. Do you see the interview with Danny where

650
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:06,400
he had the leather pants on.

651
00:34:07,799 --> 00:34:10,599
Speaker 1: No, I guess we'll gloss over that that he had

652
00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:14,440
leather pants on, leather pants on. He's really feeling himself.

653
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 2: They are this is.

654
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:23,599
Speaker 1: You see Danny with his shirt off at the pool, and.

655
00:34:23,639 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 2: Then we see Swarts with his shirt off at the pool. Hello, dad, bod.

656
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:31,079
Speaker 1: Different right, Schwartz is not a dad. Switch those bodies

657
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,280
now it works.

658
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 2: Danny and Nia.

659
00:34:35,559 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: Danny is constantly working out, He's got four children. Nia

660
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,480
is constantly and glam she's got four children. They spook

661
00:34:42,559 --> 00:34:46,800
me out. I'm fucking I sh'ld have a body like

662
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,199
that when you have four kids.

663
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,280
Speaker 2: I told you someone said the Righteous Gemstones is based

664
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:52,920
on their church.

665
00:34:54,599 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: Makes sense, all right. So Lacy and Jesse have a

666
00:34:58,039 --> 00:35:02,960
chat one of the highlights of the episode. Jesse's like,

667
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,440
it's gonna be an hour and a half drive. She goes,

668
00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:08,079
I know I've been there many times. She just brutalizes him.

669
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:14,000
He is a chicken filet. I love her just dominating him.

670
00:35:14,159 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 2: There is no reason for her to be with him

671
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,639
other than this was the easiest way to get on

672
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,400
reality TV.

673
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 1: Kristin and Luke fight some more, Can't do It, Bad Tv,

674
00:35:23,599 --> 00:35:27,159
Bad Watch. I don't know if it's because we have

675
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,400
really young children. I have a one year old, You

676
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:30,840
have a two year old and a five year old.

677
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,519
Anybody with grown children.

678
00:35:35,599 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: I don't know, let us know.

679
00:35:36,559 --> 00:35:40,519
Speaker 1: Is watching Kristin and Luke hard for you? Is it

680
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:42,159
triggering for all parents?

681
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,079
Speaker 2: Like it's just I hate that word trigger, But I

682
00:35:45,119 --> 00:35:47,679
will say it does bring back some of the worst

683
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,199
times of my marriage. Yeah, because I'll share a moment.

684
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,880
I'll show this was two years ago when my wife

685
00:35:57,159 --> 00:35:58,719
truly hated me, and I used to talk about it

686
00:35:58,760 --> 00:35:59,320
on the podcast.

687
00:35:59,440 --> 00:35:59,599
Speaker 1: Yeah.

688
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,039
Speaker 2: I was laying on the couch on a Saturday and

689
00:36:02,159 --> 00:36:04,000
my wife was in the kitchen. I think both kids

690
00:36:04,039 --> 00:36:07,880
were sleeping, and uh, my wife goes, can you do this?

691
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,480
I guess said I'm busy, and she goes, what are

692
00:36:09,519 --> 00:36:14,280
you doing? And I said, I'm ordering viagra and she went, ugh,

693
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:22,119
I'm ready. That's when she was in her phase of

694
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:23,360
truly hating Patty.

695
00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:23,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

696
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 2: Ugh, disgusted right with even the thought of sleeping with

697
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,280
her husband.

698
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: Yep, and it's this thing where you are. I don't need.

699
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,599
Speaker 2: Viagara every time, it's just occasionally.

700
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,599
Speaker 1: Well, when you're in the doldrums of your wife hating you,

701
00:36:41,679 --> 00:36:44,360
you probably need a little chemical enhancement because it's it's

702
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,360
when you're when you're in the thrust, the thrusts of it,

703
00:36:47,519 --> 00:36:49,679
the thrusts of it, you go, oh, what are we doing?

704
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,039
We we hate each other right now, We're not supposed

705
00:36:52,079 --> 00:36:53,679
to be doing this. It's not what people hate each

706
00:36:53,679 --> 00:36:56,239
other do. But yeah, it's just very triggering when you

707
00:36:56,360 --> 00:37:01,079
haven't slept, when you're just tapped, you turn into a

708
00:37:01,199 --> 00:37:04,280
different human being. You're just you're not the same person.

709
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,519
Speaker 2: Sleep deprivation makes you a dick, makes.

710
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:13,159
Speaker 1: You a dick. So while the boys drank, Kristin is

711
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,800
with the baby and expresses the presence that mothers tap

712
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,519
into more so than guys. You're only gonna She's only

713
00:37:20,559 --> 00:37:22,400
going to be this age once. Now we mentioned it,

714
00:37:22,599 --> 00:37:26,039
it's a half truth. You just want to more than anything.

715
00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:29,480
You want the lights down, you want room service ordered.

716
00:37:29,679 --> 00:37:32,199
And if and I'm not commenting on the weight or

717
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,239
anything like that, I'm just saying, if there was a

718
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,559
cheeseburger in front of you with French fries and no

719
00:37:36,639 --> 00:37:39,920
one was bothering you. The crying wouldn't be as bad. No,

720
00:37:40,159 --> 00:37:42,119
it would be bad, but it wouldn't be as bad.

721
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:42,960
You have to film.

722
00:37:43,199 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 2: I agree, And also I'm glad they actually showed her

723
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,519
sister trying to help, because sometimes they would cut that

724
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,400
part out in the past and make it look like

725
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,000
Kristin and Luke were just by themselves with the baby

726
00:37:55,079 --> 00:38:00,599
for better dramatic fashion. Yeah, yeah, all right, So we

727
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,199
get to well, meanwhile, the girl's note that Luke is

728
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,719
being pretty helpful to Christen.

729
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and very patient.

730
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,559
Speaker 2: And I thought about it and I was like, the

731
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:18,000
fucking bar is so low for them. And I'm speaking

732
00:38:18,079 --> 00:38:23,840
of because the following girls were talking we had burgers. Well, no, Jack,

733
00:38:24,079 --> 00:38:29,519
it was Jack's Jesse, Yeah, Jason. And then if you

734
00:38:29,559 --> 00:38:33,440
want to throw in the new guy, Brandon. So Luke

735
00:38:34,639 --> 00:38:36,840
is like a superhero.

736
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: He's the Clark Kent of this group, and he sucks.

737
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:41,559
Speaker 2: He still sucks.

738
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 1: Brittany continues to just Brittany out, you call somebody ever here,

739
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,480
I'm fucked by cat Win, oh set home by I'm

740
00:38:51,519 --> 00:38:58,800
fucking kids, fucking She sounds like it is freestyling. I'll

741
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,840
suck a fucking cramp leg down and then I'll suck

742
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:02,559
a fucking dick.

743
00:39:02,599 --> 00:39:03,079
Speaker 2: I don't care.

744
00:39:03,159 --> 00:39:05,679
Speaker 1: I don't bring him over here. I fucking care. By

745
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,880
the way, I know, Brittany, you were just dating a

746
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,480
guy who asked you for forty dollars.

747
00:39:09,559 --> 00:39:12,519
Speaker 2: I do not understand the Lala appeal. Obviously she's got

748
00:39:12,559 --> 00:39:15,920
a huge podcast, she's beloved in this universe, but her

749
00:39:16,159 --> 00:39:19,320
and like Brent are having like, uh, who can sound

750
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,239
sluttier on the show, Like I fucking I don't know, Dix,

751
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,199
I'll get slapped in the face with fucking cox in

752
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:24,559
my buck.

753
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think we Oh oh Laala did?

754
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:28,639
Speaker 4: Yeah?

755
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I fucking kids hit the fucking do editing.

756
00:39:31,679 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, Lala's just I don't know if it's a slutty thing,

757
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,039
but it's just Lala's like overtly sexual a lot of

758
00:39:38,119 --> 00:39:40,800
the time. Yes, I would know good relationship with a

759
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,039
cock slapping in the face. What is that cock slapping

760
00:39:43,039 --> 00:39:43,920
you in the face after.

761
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,079
Speaker 2: There's no need? I get it?

762
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 4: Oh?

763
00:39:46,559 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 2: Fuck that light guard roll there. I don't know. I'm

764
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,119
fucking horny. Rouse suck him right now, right, Oh, you're

765
00:39:51,199 --> 00:39:52,079
trying go ahead.

766
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: See all right, So Danny asks for or excuse me,

767
00:39:55,639 --> 00:40:00,679
Zach asks for a shower cap at the bar from

768
00:40:01,079 --> 00:40:03,079
a Hispanic hotel.

769
00:40:03,199 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 2: Hold on, you're jumping through the day. We go to

770
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,199
the pool. Schwartz jumps in the pool. That's when he

771
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,480
gets the Holy Dad bough Jesus fucking Christ from you

772
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:15,880
or from the cast from me? Eating too many corn dogs, man, yeah, yeah, yeah,

773
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,679
all right, and then corn dogs are good. Then Swartz

774
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,480
is excited for his fucking birthday, although his girlfriend's there.

775
00:40:22,519 --> 00:40:25,719
And then he he asks the guys, hey, man, don't

776
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,199
fucking you come from me, Man, don't come from my girlfriend.

777
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:32,119
Speaker 1: I think Schwartz is a lot smarter than he lets on.

778
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:37,960
I think Schwartz's when we compare him to the pantheon

779
00:40:38,599 --> 00:40:42,239
of these people, I think he's a.

780
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,159
Speaker 2: Rocket sign more calculated. Yeah, probably.

781
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:50,519
Speaker 1: He lets he lets words slip sometimes where I'm like, ooh,

782
00:40:51,559 --> 00:40:54,639
that was a fancy one, or demonstrates that he has

783
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:58,280
like an understanding of a nuanced like personal dynamic, and

784
00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:58,800
I'm like.

785
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then he does that that oh yeah, yeah,

786
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,079
well he did it. Here he goes, hey, guys, don't

787
00:41:05,119 --> 00:41:08,039
make fun of her. My girlfriend being dumb like Lalla

788
00:41:08,159 --> 00:41:10,719
did earlier. That's not cool, man, you just come for me.

789
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:14,239
She's not dumb. It's just because she sounds dumb. It's

790
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,679
not because she's stupid. It's because it's because she's on drugs.

791
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,599
Speaker 1: So leave her alone. We get up to not the

792
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,480
fund Zone, the no Fun Zone, the rainy night Um,

793
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,320
Chris and Luke fight some more, and and Kaya is crying.

794
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:38,159
Really really this was a brutal scene because we had

795
00:41:38,199 --> 00:41:40,239
a callagy baby. I don't know if it's Collic. She's

796
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,239
in a new place. She's just crying again.

797
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,599
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, fuck it.

798
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,679
Speaker 1: I understand why you guys tried to do vander Pump

799
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,679
Rules again because this, I mean, you failed. But this

800
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:54,199
is just crazy, all right. So we get to Schwartz

801
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:57,400
a palooza. It's not a palooza as Tom would like one.

802
00:41:57,599 --> 00:42:00,639
He's on too much Molly to know what a is,

803
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,159
and too they had to move.

804
00:42:02,039 --> 00:42:04,280
Speaker 2: It inside Stocks more than his townhouse.

805
00:42:04,519 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 1: Yes, So Danny shows up and uh, Jesse and Michelle

806
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:15,199
both agree your outfit is fucking disgusting. You look like

807
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:21,360
a father in a Orlando looks go the this was

808
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,880
a this was a look in I want to say

809
00:42:24,039 --> 00:42:28,119
twenty eleven maybe, Uh, the very tight pants with the

810
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,239
Chelsea boots and the flowing top.

811
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 2: That what do guys dress like? It's the they dress

812
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,840
in the same attire. What the year that they got

813
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:39,840
the most badge?

814
00:42:40,119 --> 00:42:44,079
Speaker 1: He dresses like he was raking in pussy at a

815
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,199
Justin Bieber church. That's how he dresses. He dresses like

816
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,159
he's part of the gospel band at a church where

817
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:56,440
everybody's fucking each other in Santa Monica. And it's plain

818
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,800
to see. It's just plain to see. This party is

819
00:43:00,159 --> 00:43:04,679
dead and we bounce around just dead things. I'll do.

820
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,679
Speaker 2: I'll do a couple of me. Kristen comes over to

821
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,320
the table to bum everybody out.

822
00:43:09,639 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

823
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,599
Speaker 2: Meanwhile the girls make fun of Jesse being a cock

824
00:43:12,679 --> 00:43:17,280
for Lacey, and then Kirsten argues with Luke and she

825
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,480
kind of exaggerates about things that he said that he

826
00:43:20,559 --> 00:43:23,400
didn't say. And then Luke gets advice from the guys

827
00:43:23,599 --> 00:43:26,239
and Danny says, look, look, look, look, listen to me.

828
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:32,800
Listen to me. Yeah, stay stay, stay united front because

829
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:36,559
they'll come for you. Also, always hide empty liquor bottles

830
00:43:36,599 --> 00:43:37,639
in the laundry basket.

831
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: They'll ever find him there, Yeah, don't don't put in the.

832
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 2: Trash, look in the trash.

833
00:43:45,119 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 1: Don't put it in the trash. He starts screaming. Then

834
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,960
Nia comes over, Honey, honey, you're doing it again. She's

835
00:43:53,079 --> 00:44:00,519
Catherine Keener from get out. She's like, honey, okay. So

836
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:07,280
the entire episode turns into basically a crisis hotline for

837
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,039
Luke and Kristen. Right, that's what Toma Palooza has turned into.

838
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:15,039
Speaker 2: There is one little, one little piece that I think

839
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:19,519
Janet wishes got a little bit more attention. What's that

840
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,079
her admission that she's bisexual?

841
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,119
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh boy?

842
00:44:25,199 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 2: Does she want to stay on this goddamn show?

843
00:44:27,559 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, Janet is a bisexual.

844
00:44:30,639 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 2: Hey, she'll fuck Michelle.

845
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 1: Michelle is her dream girl.

846
00:44:34,119 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 2: And you know what, Jason's okay with it. And you

847
00:44:37,559 --> 00:44:41,119
know what, she's okay with Jason fucks guys.

848
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 1: Hey, yeah, she's okay with Jason fucking Guys'. Hey, Janet,

849
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,800
let's experiment. Let's watch your husband get plunged like a sink,

850
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,679
which is what you said earlier. Let's have let let

851
00:44:54,119 --> 00:44:57,840
let's do this report back after you've seen your husband

852
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:02,920
get split like a log. I don't think you'll find

853
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:10,199
it that attractive? Can I ask you? Rolling back? And

854
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:14,280
I don't mean to be crude about homosexual male intimacy.

855
00:45:14,599 --> 00:45:17,920
It's I'm sure it's beautiful at times, fun at times,

856
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:23,039
gross at times like regular sexes. Okay, but when we

857
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:27,679
roll back to Kristen and Luke, this is what they're

858
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,800
like at four months. I know that everybody struggles with

859
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:38,599
this stage, but they're not married. Marriage Really, if you

860
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:43,079
take it seriously, that kind of commitment can get you

861
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,440
through it. We're fucking married. What are we We're fucking married.

862
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,840
This is what we gotta do. They are not married.

863
00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:54,159
What percentage chance do you give their survival survivalists?

864
00:45:54,639 --> 00:45:57,159
Speaker 2: That's a hard question. I will say it's this is

865
00:45:57,199 --> 00:46:00,639
where you're in the trenches and yeah, this is where

866
00:46:00,679 --> 00:46:03,800
you build the foundation. If you get through this together,

867
00:46:04,679 --> 00:46:08,679
then you're stronger together. Many people are not strong enough,

868
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:09,960
and this is where you break up. This is where

869
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,480
you hear like, wow, they broke up with the kid

870
00:46:12,559 --> 00:46:15,199
one years old, and there's here so many of those.

871
00:46:16,159 --> 00:46:19,000
It's because they fucking could not get past this stage.

872
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:22,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so common. I'm telling you, I've got friends

873
00:46:22,559 --> 00:46:26,480
starting to get divorced. It's like, whoa, it happens. So

874
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:32,480
Janet's a bisexual, great Kristen is going to bed and

875
00:46:32,639 --> 00:46:33,039
we head.

876
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 2: We're in the hallway.

877
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: We're in the hallway. This is what Laala quickly says,

878
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,559
I wouldn't know a good relationship. Slap me in the

879
00:46:41,599 --> 00:46:44,599
dick with a face. What we what we get in

880
00:46:44,639 --> 00:46:48,159
the hallway. Luke is at this point he's just given up.

881
00:46:48,199 --> 00:46:50,400
I can't do anything with this this person. I'm just

882
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:52,880
gonna go get fucked up right. And he sits in

883
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:57,920
a chair. He's bereft, he's down trodden, he's set. And Brittany,

884
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:07,480
Kristen's friend comes up. Up fellow mama, the worst person

885
00:47:08,039 --> 00:47:10,320
Luke could possibly talk to about this.

886
00:47:10,679 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 2: And he does his best. He says, you know what,

887
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,840
take care of yourself tonight. I'm okay, I'm just gonna

888
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:17,360
sit here now. Talk to me.

889
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 1: Come on, I'll talk to you. If you won't talk

890
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:20,199
to me, come.

891
00:47:20,039 --> 00:47:22,559
Speaker 2: On, let's out. Well, my wife's being a bitch me. Hey,

892
00:47:22,679 --> 00:47:24,159
don't come out to me that way. I'm up.

893
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna dan fucking call her bitch. You goddamn little

894
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:28,599
fucking weasel.

895
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 5: Huh.

896
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 1: You won't go fucking fishing. Huh you rap fuck not

897
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:37,280
a good person to talk to. Okay, Luke, are you

898
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,559
did you for one second think you were going to

899
00:47:41,639 --> 00:47:45,440
get any compassion from a fellow woman who's been through this,

900
00:47:45,519 --> 00:47:48,280
who's also her friend. Talk to a plant, dude, buzzsaw,

901
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:50,920
talk to a plant. Just don't jerk off in it.

902
00:47:52,679 --> 00:47:54,079
Speaker 2: I hope the season gets fun.

903
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: Me too. In the comments, let us know you thought

904
00:47:57,079 --> 00:48:02,519
about the episode in the city starts next week. That's

905
00:48:02,519 --> 00:48:04,320
a fun one. Sorry, we're jumping in. I don't know

906
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,039
how many episodes it is, but I feel like we're

907
00:48:06,079 --> 00:48:07,599
jumping in sixty percent of the way.

908
00:48:08,119 --> 00:48:10,360
Speaker 2: Not much has happened, Honestly, it's just kind of getting

909
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,280
go when we're starting to learn some of the characters.

910
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:16,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, alright, cool cool. Fellow bachelor contestant on that

911
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,280
show as well, Whitney.

912
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 2: Really yeah? Do you remember her? I do? I? God,

913
00:48:22,599 --> 00:48:24,480
damn it, I do with you next season.

914
00:48:24,599 --> 00:48:26,159
Speaker 1: I think she might have been on nixt season.

915
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's very pretty, very pretty.

916
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,159
Speaker 1: All right, get in the comments. Love you see you

917
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:30,559
next week.

918
00:48:30,639 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 2: Bye bye.

919
00:48:48,239 --> 00:49:00,280
Speaker 4: Streets.

920
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 1: The pe.

921
00:55:00,280 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 6: Assasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst Eight years old.

922
00:56:17,119 --> 00:56:21,320
Speaker 4: All the street sign your head,