WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>You're watching Chewing the Cud. He's River Scott and Mike

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<v Speaker 1>Benyon Brow.

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<v Speaker 2>And I ended up covered in Oh hello, you're watching

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<v Speaker 2>Chewing the Cud, your lighthearted weekly look at the world

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<v Speaker 2>through a glittery kaleidoscope. I'm River Scott and with me

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<v Speaker 2>today is someone who was called the love bug. But

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<v Speaker 2>the antibiotics have kicked in since then. Hi, Mike, how

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<v Speaker 2>are you doing? I'm all live butti's apparently, but are

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<v Speaker 2>they working?

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<v Speaker 1>That's the main you know, the rash is gone.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that's good. It's oh, well done there ear infect

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<v Speaker 2>you're still leather and they're the ones you can't drink on.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the thing about anti buttis is you can drink

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<v Speaker 1>on them all, you just shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh well, that's true for most things. I suppose. It's like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you can't drink and drive, Well you can, but you shouldn't. Exactly,

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<v Speaker 2>Like okay, fair enough. I thought that was like a

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<v Speaker 2>proper thing, like it's stopped them working if you drank.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, No, has no impact on antibuses as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So aside from an exciting list of sdis what are

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<v Speaker 2>you bringing us this week? Mike?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this week I'm bringing you a romantic and lovely

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<v Speaker 1>story that involves well it's a dick measuring contest really,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I'll help you entice your lover in Crafty Queens.

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<v Speaker 2>We even have a game you can play along with us.

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<v Speaker 2>But on screen now you can see our contact details.

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<v Speaker 2>It's at the cud TV on your social media of choice,

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<v Speaker 2>and if you want to catch up with previous episodes,

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<v Speaker 2>you can binges on the YouTube's just look for Chewing the.

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<v Speaker 1>Cud and you can see names of people have reached

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<v Speaker 1>out and sent us some lovely Valentine's messages. Look, there's

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<v Speaker 1>no one there going on the bottom of the screen.

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<v Speaker 1>But now it's time for River in the showbiz.

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<v Speaker 2>So first up, former professional rugby player Campbell Johnston, who

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<v Speaker 2>was the first All Blacks player to come out in

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<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty three, has married his partner Ben Thompson in

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<v Speaker 2>New Zealand.

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<v Speaker 1>Upset, you're upset, Yeah, this is not single.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that we live in the future, that doesn't mean

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<v Speaker 2>anything anymore. And I mean he's probably got good thighs.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe that's maybe that's what it's all about.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to see his hacker, you'd like to see

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<v Speaker 1>his hacker.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, anyway, let's carry on. Yeah, I got distracted from

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<v Speaker 2>a moment the way a moment there. So Campbell, who

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<v Speaker 2>is forty four and looking quite good for it, and

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<v Speaker 2>his now husband Ben who's thirty seven, released a quote

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<v Speaker 2>saying we had a day with just the two of

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<v Speaker 2>us when photographers videoed and photographers getting ready together in

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<v Speaker 2>a hotel. Then we went out to Castle Hill Station

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<v Speaker 2>and held our ceremony on top of a mountain.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh.

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<v Speaker 2>Just very sweet, isn't it. Yeah? Oh, I mean that's

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<v Speaker 2>not really mountain climbing gear, but they said that on

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<v Speaker 2>top of us is kind of it. Why does it

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<v Speaker 2>say Woman's Day?

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<v Speaker 1>It was sponsored by a woman Day that the article.

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<v Speaker 1>Why because they don't have Hello magazine. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>New Zealand fair enough.

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<v Speaker 2>But I mean that's very sweet and apparently he said

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<v Speaker 2>it was literally just the two of us and the

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<v Speaker 2>photographers and the videographer on the hill, So that was

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<v Speaker 2>quite cool. I mean you also need the celebrant or

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<v Speaker 2>someone as well, really married, unless like the was one

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<v Speaker 2>of the ones holding the camera. Yeah, we didn't even

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<v Speaker 2>have a celebrant. He says in the quote that I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't read that far down, so Okay, all right, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not sure that counts. Does that count?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that marriage or is that just an agreement?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's just a picnic it. Yeah, let's just going

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<v Speaker 2>to the top of very well. But anyway, he also added,

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<v Speaker 2>we also thought it should be a moment just for us.

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<v Speaker 2>That was really special because we got to enjoy the

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<v Speaker 2>day together.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, knowing people that have got married and not

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<v Speaker 1>regretted it, basically, they've always said that when they were

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<v Speaker 1>getting married and the actual day, they would take time

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<v Speaker 1>away just themselves. That's nice just to be together and not.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but then I mean, I wonder, what's the point

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<v Speaker 2>in the day if you if you're going to go, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>this is all awful, excuse us, Well, we go and

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<v Speaker 2>do something we'd much rather do over there.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it was less about this is awful. I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's just about having time together on their day.

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<v Speaker 2>But surely the idea of a marriage is that you've

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<v Speaker 2>got the rest of your lives together forever. It's kind

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<v Speaker 2>of change to each other.

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<v Speaker 1>It's divorce. It's fine, don't have to that's great.

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<v Speaker 2>I bumped into a mate of mine. We chatted about

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<v Speaker 2>someone we used to go to university, too, and like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh they're married now, I'm like, oh, that's nice. And

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<v Speaker 2>it's like, well, it's an open relationship. Oh well, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>twenty first century. Good for them. It's like, no, they

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<v Speaker 2>hate each other, but they've got a mortgage and two cats,

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<v Speaker 2>so what can you do. And they were always cheating

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<v Speaker 2>on each other. So just now they don't have to pretend.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, love wins.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Jesus, what's that phrase? That a stage? It's no

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<v Speaker 1>longer love, it's just company.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's what they say about. Well, it's a same

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<v Speaker 2>sex relationship, isn't it, because it's always same sex for

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<v Speaker 2>the rest of your life. And anyway, on that hilarious note,

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<v Speaker 2>let's move on.

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<v Speaker 1>Cool.

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<v Speaker 2>So, the non binary star of trans horror film I

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<v Speaker 2>Saw the TV Glow has changed their name. Okay, Jack

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<v Speaker 2>Haven now, which is nice. It's a good name. Apparently

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<v Speaker 2>it was inspired by their great great uncle, who's a

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<v Speaker 2>singer and songwriter, Haven Gillespie, which I'm not familiar with,

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<v Speaker 2>but that doesn't mean anything. There they are, that's that's

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<v Speaker 2>Jack Haven. The great great grand uncle was known for

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<v Speaker 2>the Christmas hits Santa Claus Is come into town.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, everyone's famous. In somewhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. So this is Jack Haven who said I'm

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<v Speaker 2>non binary. I always felt a little bit boy, a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit girl, a little bit neither, which is kind

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<v Speaker 2>of how I got to the whole non binary thing.

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<v Speaker 2>So that makes sense. Yeah, glad, I'm doing it right.

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<v Speaker 2>Always good to know. I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyone's doing it right. I think everyone's doing it right,

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<v Speaker 1>if that makes sense.

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<v Speaker 2>No, quite a few people it wrong, but never mind. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>they are using they them as of late, and it

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<v Speaker 2>feels right. And apparently it was scary af to come out,

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<v Speaker 2>and they've really been putting it off, but they felt

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<v Speaker 2>they owed it to themselves and to all of us

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<v Speaker 2>who struggle with gender and heterosexual people. I suppose. Yeah, anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>well done them, Good luck with all of that. They

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<v Speaker 2>seem young.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, it's at that age where anyone called Jack

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<v Speaker 1>as go just jack.

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<v Speaker 2>Ah. I feel not to be particularly sassy about this.

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<v Speaker 2>If you go in non binary, you should be a

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<v Speaker 2>bit more inventive with your names. Like I'm called River,

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<v Speaker 2>like that was I mean, even that is like the

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<v Speaker 2>default one in the is the find and replace thing

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<v Speaker 2>in the in the in the trans starter kit.

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<v Speaker 1>When I first introduced to the idea of river, right,

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<v Speaker 1>please tell me the last name is song.

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<v Speaker 2>No, Well, I like the rhythm though, river Song, because

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<v Speaker 2>there was River Song, there was River.

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<v Speaker 1>Tam, River Phoenix, Riverdance.

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<v Speaker 2>Riverdance, River Island. Yeah, all the good ones. Yeah, River Trent.

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<v Speaker 2>That actually sounds like a good name until you know

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<v Speaker 2>that it's it's a horrible river where lots where most

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<v Speaker 2>of the drugs that come into the UK come in,

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<v Speaker 2>apparently along with River Trent. Yeah, so I'm told. Anyway, anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>talking of people with completely normal names, Duncan from Blue

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<v Speaker 2>Duncan James, it seems like cheating again. It's just two

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<v Speaker 2>first names, there's no surname, and they never trust someone

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<v Speaker 2>with two fun now exactly. Anyway, he's got a boyfriend, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, someone called Rodrigo Race Rice.

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<v Speaker 1>Yah.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, he's a he's a flight attendant who speaks multiple

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<v Speaker 2>well you'd have to speaks multiple languages, and his Instagram

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<v Speaker 2>bio says that he's into healthy eating, fitness and all

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<v Speaker 2>things good for the mind, body, and God Jesus. I

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<v Speaker 2>mean all right, I mean I suppose I could listen

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<v Speaker 2>to him talk about stuff that's good for the mind,

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<v Speaker 2>body and soul. If he looks like that, good lord.

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<v Speaker 1>It's what you'd be expected from Duncan from Blue.

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<v Speaker 2>Really yeah, I mean it's just all.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, expecting a twink.

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<v Speaker 2>Two pretty people I don't know are in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Good for them. I find it hard to get moved

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<v Speaker 2>by any kind of like, oh, celebrities in a relationship. Good?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, good lord.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's less about the story, more about the pictures.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm alright with that. So he's got an Instagram?

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<v Speaker 2>Has he got an OnlyFans? That is the more important question.

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<v Speaker 2>Can we see Rodrigo Rice getting railed by Duncan from Blue?

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<v Speaker 1>I think yes would be the answer to that.

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<v Speaker 2>All the other way around, you know, or both? Why not?

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<v Speaker 2>Let's let's take it in turns.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly what switches all about.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, if they need someone to hold the camera, I

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<v Speaker 2>am available.

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<v Speaker 1>And I will not be holding the camera.

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<v Speaker 2>But I mean, no, good for them. I suppose they've

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<v Speaker 2>been dating since twenty nineteen, which is good. I yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't even keep a plant alive, let alone of relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's not the point. They met a couple of

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<v Speaker 2>years ago in Belgium. Apparently Duncan was doing a gig

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<v Speaker 2>with the boys and he met Rodrigo at the after party.

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<v Speaker 2>Really what that is I couldn't possibly comment on that.

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<v Speaker 2>We're just going to move on from that. I saw

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<v Speaker 2>him across the bar and he was just see there's

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<v Speaker 2>a thing there the quotes got there's there's those three

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<v Speaker 2>dots that mean something that we didn't need to include

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<v Speaker 2>being cut out here, and it's like I saw him

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<v Speaker 2>across the bar and dot dot he was just my type,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, and he was getting railed by three

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<v Speaker 2>or four other people, but there was room for me,

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<v Speaker 2>so I had to go. And it turned out he

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<v Speaker 2>was just my type. But the pr person's edited there

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<v Speaker 2>possibly our eyes met across a crowded twink something like that. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I've been riding about like, oh, dad, how did you

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<v Speaker 2>meet other Dad?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, anyway, you know your uncle Steven markin Well, so

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<v Speaker 3>people asked when when they found out they were dating people, Oh,

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<v Speaker 3>did you know Duncan was famous and in blue and

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<v Speaker 3>apparently not in.

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<v Speaker 2>Brazil where he's from. Blue ants are famous, So it's

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<v Speaker 2>either yeah, I mean, is that how if that was

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<v Speaker 2>the other way around, if you were dating some hotty

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<v Speaker 2>from Brazil? And then and then you went over to

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<v Speaker 2>meet their parents or whatever. You went over to spend

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<v Speaker 2>time with them, and they're like, oh, actually I'm actually

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<v Speaker 2>quite famous. Would that be weird?

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<v Speaker 4>Do you think?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think so.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, getting papped and getting photos of you taken with you.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think he's unhappy about him being papped at

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<v Speaker 1>that point in time.

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<v Speaker 2>No, he just seemed quite happy. Yeah, I mean it

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<v Speaker 2>would be, wouldn't you. Anyway, that's all from Showbiz this week.

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<v Speaker 2>Crashing on because I'm getting distracted by attractive people not

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<v Speaker 2>wearing much again, so that there's a theme from the

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<v Speaker 2>show or my life anyway, stay right there. As coming

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<v Speaker 2>up after this short break, we see what Mike's googled

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<v Speaker 2>as he's going to be in the buzz. Welcome back.

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<v Speaker 2>You're watching Chewing the Cod and now it's time for

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<v Speaker 2>about eleven minutes of dick jokes with Mike in the buzz.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you feel about trends?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I'm immediately suspicious, so trepardacious.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I like it.

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<v Speaker 2>What is about nude dating trends for twenty nude dating?

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<v Speaker 1>Nude?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm less interested?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it might be one of the new trends.

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<v Speaker 2>Nudity is a fun I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>I do enjoy it. The police ten they get very

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<v Speaker 1>upset when M not that kind of anyway. So there's

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<v Speaker 1>a whole raft of new trends for twenty twenty five

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<v Speaker 1>when I'm talking about dating, right, And the first one

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<v Speaker 1>that called out is called micromancing, which sounds a bit

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<v Speaker 1>like necromancing to me.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought it was just romancing. Mike, are you? Is

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<v Speaker 2>this your's a plea for help? Are you? Only?

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<v Speaker 1>Now we know I am? But which is small act

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<v Speaker 1>of romance? All right? I'm doing small scale lovely things

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<v Speaker 1>run big gestures.

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<v Speaker 2>This sounds like the kind of dating, that kind of

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<v Speaker 2>romancing I would have to do because I'm poor. This

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<v Speaker 2>feels like I can't afford to take you out for

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<v Speaker 2>dinner and like shower you with presents. But here's a flower.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah flower, yeah, your favorite flower, favorite flower, and now

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<v Speaker 2>shut up and be grateful until I can afford to

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<v Speaker 2>buy you another one.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly. I know your favorite thing to eat his chicken nuggets,

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<v Speaker 1>So I bought you four. The next trends coming out

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<v Speaker 1>is something called fanning, sorry, fan Fanning, Fanning as in

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<v Speaker 1>Dakota Fanning as in going oh my god, I love

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<v Speaker 1>this thing, so that all the idage of opposites attracted, right,

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<v Speaker 1>flipping that on its head and finding someone that's very

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<v Speaker 1>into the same sort of things that you are.

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<v Speaker 2>So the new dating trend for twenty twenty five is

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<v Speaker 2>to find someone who's interested in the same things.

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<v Speaker 1>That you're not interested, like super into the same sort

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<v Speaker 1>of things.

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<v Speaker 2>So just a Bronie's thing. This feels like a Bronie's thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Bronie's could be a thing. So if you're a Bronie

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<v Speaker 1>thing very and you find another Bronie, that's the idea.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what they still do. Yeah yeah, or furries it's

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<v Speaker 2>furries and stuff. Anyway, Sorry, I feel like I am

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<v Speaker 2>misunderstanding this and I'm going to need you to explain it.

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<v Speaker 1>It is about finding something that you have an intense

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<v Speaker 1>interest in and find it's all with the same intense interest.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not soon going oh, I like to go the gym.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, oh, I like the gym too. There's people

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<v Speaker 1>that go, I like to do two sessions in the

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<v Speaker 1>gym a day for an hour of time, and the

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<v Speaker 1>other person going, yeah, me too, Like that's super intense enjoyment.

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<v Speaker 2>Of something. I like eating my body weight in chocolates

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<v Speaker 2>and wanking myself cross eyed.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's all you have to is find someone that

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<v Speaker 1>also really likes that.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, if you're into that kind of thing, drop

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<v Speaker 2>me a message at coud TV or Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think we're going to get a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>messages from a lot of people saying yes, I like

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<v Speaker 1>that too, because it's quite a common one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Oh, well, I'm sorry. I'll get better. I'll get

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<v Speaker 2>better hobbies shallow, how dare.

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<v Speaker 1>You not kink sharing? But me a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>I also watch a lot of Star Trek if that helps.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you heard of soft launching.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to make a tic joke, but I can't

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<v Speaker 2>get there.

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<v Speaker 1>Launching to make a we can't get there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, but I've got some pills for that now me too.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's this idea of not going public with a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>of going oh not being Facebook official if that makes

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<v Speaker 1>a an age appropriate reference, same reference.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember Face Party, That's how old I am.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember Face Party two and being very disappointed when

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<v Speaker 1>I went on it.

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<v Speaker 2>Because no one was having a party on your face exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So self launching is the idea of just being public,

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<v Speaker 1>but not being overly romantic with each other and being

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<v Speaker 1>together but not everywhere we are together, which are casual dating.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean I'm that that does feel like someone

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<v Speaker 2>who's not sure they actually want to be with you,

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<v Speaker 2>like they're just looking to see if there's anything better

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<v Speaker 2>before they kind of commit. But also, no, that's it. Actually, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's it. I thought I had more on that thought,

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<v Speaker 2>but no, like they're just like, let's soft launch this,

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<v Speaker 2>shall we just in case one or both of us

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<v Speaker 2>find something better in the meantime. Where's the romance in that?

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<v Speaker 1>There's always a new shag, a better shag, just waiting

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<v Speaker 1>around the corner. And that's why you keep going out?

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<v Speaker 1>Ninety nine? But moving on?

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<v Speaker 2>And how have the last twenty six years been for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Since I can't remember?

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<v Speaker 1>Moving on? Do you have anybody modification tattoos or piercings?

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<v Speaker 2>None that I can show you on the on the telly.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm intriguing. Now. Is it a tattoo?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't have any. I keep wanting tattoos, but

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<v Speaker 2>I keep changing my mind.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have a tattoo, but it hurts. So I

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00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:28.679
<v Speaker 1>only got to dot because I.

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00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:30.480
<v Speaker 2>Keep changing my mind. So I think it's Sharpie would

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<v Speaker 2>do it like just I can just draw on myself.

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<v Speaker 2>It'll last a few days and then wash off. Fantastic.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this is the story about lady who is so

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<v Speaker 1>in love with something that she wanted its name tattooed

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<v Speaker 1>on her. Oh lord, what do you think that could be?

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<v Speaker 2>There's the lady. I mean I could see it in

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<v Speaker 2>the headline, so kind of spoiled a little bit there.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh god, yeah I read it. So yeah, this is Tasha.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, there's twenty three and spent just over fi.

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<v Speaker 1>I would quid getting the word weatherspoons tattooed across the stomach.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean she could have spent that money on therapy

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<v Speaker 2>or booze, literally anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>The weatherspoons literally yeah, she yep, there we go. She

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00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:16.400
<v Speaker 1>didn't go for the logo. She went for it in

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<v Speaker 1>a metal.

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<v Speaker 2>Font, which only raises more questions if I'm honest. But

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<v Speaker 2>I also know, because I don't actually want the answer

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00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:29.039
<v Speaker 2>to any of it, there's any answer you could give

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<v Speaker 2>me that would be anything that I would want to know.

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<v Speaker 2>And I kind of am annoyed that even that there's

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<v Speaker 2>brain cells that are now dedicated to that memory and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm never getting them back, am I.

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<v Speaker 1>I've wasted neuronswer there's a lot of money spent on

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<v Speaker 1>getting a word written on the stomach.

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<v Speaker 2>And I bet and has that. Let's call him a

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<v Speaker 2>gentleman that runs Weatherspoon's seen it is she? Is she

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<v Speaker 2>getting like free? No?

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<v Speaker 1>Is she She's getting publicity from it?

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<v Speaker 2>That's it. I feel it's that. It's that again, is

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<v Speaker 2>that you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bit bigger,

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<v Speaker 2>like good for her.

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<v Speaker 1>Stop dreaming if your dream is getting the tattoo of

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<v Speaker 1>weatherspoons across your stomach, stop dreaming, wake up.

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<v Speaker 2>Just you know, there's that whole thing about how the

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<v Speaker 2>world might be ending, and like civilization is collapsing. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we deserve it, Like maybe this is

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<v Speaker 2>it just.

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<v Speaker 1>All civilizations Rome Greeks went slightly a bit too crazy and.

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<v Speaker 2>They didn't tattoo weatherspoons across their stoma.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't know that's true, thank god. And if you have

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<v Speaker 1>any tattoos across your body of names like Benny and

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<v Speaker 1>Roe show with us at the cud TV. And that

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<v Speaker 1>brings us to our story of the week now Valentine's

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<v Speaker 1>Day and parental connections aren't that often?

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<v Speaker 2>No, well, I mean my mum used to send me

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<v Speaker 2>a Valentine's card every year when I was like small. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>It stopped when I was about sixteen, and that was

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<v Speaker 2>that was harsh because that was the last time one

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<v Speaker 2>sent me a Valentine's card. But that's I mean, is

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<v Speaker 2>it better that it stopped and that she's not sending

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<v Speaker 2>them anymore? Or is it? Would it have been better

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<v Speaker 2>if they she kept doing it now that I'm.

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<v Speaker 1>Years old, I think if you know it's from you,

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<v Speaker 1>So if it's signed love mum.

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<v Speaker 2>Well I recognize a handwritter. I used to forge your

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<v Speaker 2>handwrite in to like sign my report cards and ship

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<v Speaker 2>for school. Not difficult, yeah, I mean it was mostly

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<v Speaker 2>for getting out of Pe. I'm quite I was quite

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<v Speaker 2>good at gcs's. They were quite easy. Yeah, it was

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<v Speaker 2>just getting out of Pe. Like, sorry, I can't do it, stug.

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<v Speaker 2>Got a note from my mum. Here you go, I've

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<v Speaker 2>got the next three weeks worth in my bag if

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<v Speaker 2>you want them as well.

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<v Speaker 1>I used to flatly refuse to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I do.

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<v Speaker 1>There's not much they can do if you refuse to

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<v Speaker 1>get changed. I worked this out so and they're going,

390
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:45.680
<v Speaker 1>they're going, Might you getting changed?

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<v Speaker 2>No? I I yeah, I used to avoid it. I

392
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<v Speaker 2>think actually I got a B at GCS in Pe,

393
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:54.920
<v Speaker 2>and I think that's just because the Pe teacher had

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely no idea who I was, because I'd never done

395
00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:59.200
<v Speaker 2>anything any of his classes. So we just played it

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<v Speaker 2>safe and gave me a bee.

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<v Speaker 1>Fair enough. Well, Brian Johnson, who's forty seven, has spent

398
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:07.039
<v Speaker 1>two million dollars in US I.

399
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:10.400
<v Speaker 2>Know this not yeah, all right, brilliant, bring it on.

400
00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:12.240
<v Speaker 2>I am back on board. You lost me with the

401
00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:14.400
<v Speaker 2>Weatherspoons tattoo, but I am back. Okay.

402
00:20:15.079 --> 00:20:20.039
<v Speaker 1>So he spent over two million dollars bioor hacking his body, right,

403
00:20:20.839 --> 00:20:22.799
<v Speaker 1>and he now says that he has the fitness of

404
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:26.680
<v Speaker 1>an eighteen year old, right, Okay, so much so that

405
00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:30.000
<v Speaker 1>he now measures his sexual potency against his son, who

406
00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:30.480
<v Speaker 1>is ninety.

407
00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:33.400
<v Speaker 2>Don't say against his son against his Oh.

408
00:20:35.640 --> 00:20:36.160
<v Speaker 1>So they have.

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00:20:36.880 --> 00:20:39.680
<v Speaker 2>I've seen so many twink relationships that are those two

410
00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:41.599
<v Speaker 2>people too? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Late, only the dad is forty seven.

412
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:47.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean he looks haunted, but.

413
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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he spent two million dollars on trying to look young.

414
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:51.000
<v Speaker 1>God look haunted too.

415
00:20:51.039 --> 00:20:52.920
<v Speaker 2>His son's kind of cute though, is.

416
00:20:53.319 --> 00:20:54.440
<v Speaker 1>I enjoy his son?

417
00:20:55.119 --> 00:20:59.160
<v Speaker 2>But apparently erection test with his own dad. Ah, what

418
00:20:59.200 --> 00:20:59.799
<v Speaker 2>does that mean?

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00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:03.200
<v Speaker 1>So they have an app that measures their their the reality,

420
00:21:03.240 --> 00:21:06.839
<v Speaker 1>shall we say, overnight, and they're not turnal actions. And

421
00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:11.920
<v Speaker 1>apparently the sun lasts two longer like in a tube

422
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:13.920
<v Speaker 1>and it has tests.

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<v Speaker 2>His son lasts two minutes longer.

424
00:21:16.279 --> 00:21:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Longer than his dad. Right, we don't know how long

425
00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:20.319
<v Speaker 1>his dad lasts.

426
00:21:20.920 --> 00:21:24.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't care. I mean, yeah, two minutes is about

427
00:21:24.200 --> 00:21:25.839
<v Speaker 2>right for a nineteen year old. I think, as I recall,

428
00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:26.640
<v Speaker 2>there's plenty.

429
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but he said that, you know about his son.

430
00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:32.480
<v Speaker 1>You need to raise children to stand tall, be firm

431
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:33.119
<v Speaker 1>and upright.

432
00:21:33.720 --> 00:21:34.640
<v Speaker 2>I think that's just.

433
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:38.240
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot to digest.

434
00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:41.640
<v Speaker 2>There isn't that there really is. That's that's terrifying. I've

435
00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:45.839
<v Speaker 2>actually seen the Young's Twitter, or he claims with the young.

436
00:21:45.960 --> 00:21:48.880
<v Speaker 2>I bet it's not because it's all very My dad's great.

437
00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:51.480
<v Speaker 2>Everything my dad and I do together is fantastic. I'm

438
00:21:51.599 --> 00:21:55.680
<v Speaker 2>very on board with him taking my blood and it's

439
00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:00.519
<v Speaker 2>and now measure it like Jesus Christ. And the stupid

440
00:22:00.519 --> 00:22:03.319
<v Speaker 2>thing is he's still gonna die. It's not like he

441
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:06.680
<v Speaker 2>can avoid it like you got all that money, and

442
00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:09.640
<v Speaker 2>he's like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna live forever, like all right,

443
00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:14.960
<v Speaker 2>but you're not. And yeah, you just like a haunted twink.

444
00:22:14.759 --> 00:22:17.400
<v Speaker 1>Now like a lot haunted when it hit twenty though,

445
00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:17.680
<v Speaker 1>don't it.

446
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:22.039
<v Speaker 2>I mean that's true, but I just oh dear like again,

447
00:22:22.599 --> 00:22:25.920
<v Speaker 2>it's it's in the same category as Weatherspoon's lady.

448
00:22:25.960 --> 00:22:30.000
<v Speaker 1>It's just like you've made choices. Yeah, and sometimes we

449
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:32.000
<v Speaker 1>wish you hadn't. But that's all from the buzz this week.

450
00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for that, Mike. That was it was, wasn't it. Yeah? Anyway,

451
00:22:39.279 --> 00:22:41.279
<v Speaker 2>don't go. If you're still with us, don't go anywhere.

452
00:22:41.319 --> 00:22:42.880
<v Speaker 2>As coming up, we have a game for you to

453
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:54.880
<v Speaker 2>play along with in our game of the week. Welcome

454
00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:58.000
<v Speaker 2>back to Chewing the Cod with Me, River Scott and Mike,

455
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:00.599
<v Speaker 2>Benny and Rowe. Now this is part of the show

456
00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:03.480
<v Speaker 2>where we play a lovely game and this one is

457
00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:05.359
<v Speaker 2>for the strategically single.

458
00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:10.319
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, it's not my strategy though, is it.

459
00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:15.920
<v Speaker 2>Do you think it's your face or your day of

460
00:23:16.519 --> 00:23:23.160
<v Speaker 2>the week. Okay, so this game is called Gubbing Me Up. No,

461
00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:28.279
<v Speaker 2>it's not the Gobby Game Show. Apparently, Mike is going

462
00:23:28.359 --> 00:23:30.359
<v Speaker 2>to sing some songs at me, and I'm going to

463
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:34.559
<v Speaker 2>guess what they are. Can that be fun? Probably? All right,

464
00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:36.000
<v Speaker 2>this is already a lot more fun than I was

465
00:23:36.039 --> 00:23:46.960
<v Speaker 2>expect Oh so sorry, yes, well no, wait wait wait,

466
00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:51.079
<v Speaker 2>actually hang on, it's getting into the zone.

467
00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:57.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay, hit me?

468
00:23:57.880 --> 00:23:58.240
<v Speaker 5>Oh ma.

469
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.000
<v Speaker 1>He hello love.

470
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:14.079
<v Speaker 2>That's yeah. I was just I just wanted to let

471
00:24:14.119 --> 00:24:16.480
<v Speaker 2>that sit there for a minute. That is Nelly and Kelly.

472
00:24:16.759 --> 00:24:20.480
<v Speaker 2>Uh I remember what it's called. It's the one where

473
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:24.160
<v Speaker 2>she's texting him from a spreadsheet video. I can't remember

474
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:27.160
<v Speaker 2>what it's called. Sure, why not?

475
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:29.319
<v Speaker 1>By hour?

476
00:24:32.680 --> 00:24:34.480
<v Speaker 2>You sound? I know, I know there's a reason for you.

477
00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:35.960
<v Speaker 2>But you sound like you've had a stroke.

478
00:24:36.920 --> 00:24:39.480
<v Speaker 1>Well I have. You can't see it because it's kin

479
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:42.599
<v Speaker 1>I see well loved.

480
00:24:45.200 --> 00:24:50.400
<v Speaker 2>Wow, that's when a man loves a woman. I think

481
00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:55.079
<v Speaker 2>Luther Vandross but better? Is that right? Oh? I thought

482
00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:59.000
<v Speaker 2>it was go me, yay me?

483
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:05.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, next one? Hollo hot.

484
00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:14.799
<v Speaker 2>Wow? Yeah, this is sixpence, not the richer. And is

485
00:25:14.839 --> 00:25:19.559
<v Speaker 2>it kissed Me Beneath the Melted Twilight or some hip Yeah,

486
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:23.559
<v Speaker 2>it's from one of those. Let's take an ugly girl

487
00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:25.440
<v Speaker 2>and take her glasses off and put her hair down

488
00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:28.359
<v Speaker 2>and suddenly she's pretty films. I remember that in the nineties.

489
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:41.759
<v Speaker 2>Uh you started another one? Okay, carry on?

490
00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:45.720
<v Speaker 1>Whoa oh.

491
00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:08.920
<v Speaker 2>Wow that was Yeah. That was some kind of foghorn

492
00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:12.200
<v Speaker 2>rendition of I Will Always Love You, I imagine. Was

493
00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:18.000
<v Speaker 2>that the Whitney Houston or the Dolly Partner version? Mhmion.

494
00:26:18.039 --> 00:26:19.960
<v Speaker 2>That's why I didn't get it straight away. I was

495
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:25.720
<v Speaker 2>thinking Whitney Houston. Sorry, my bad. Yeah, next one, if

496
00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:32.119
<v Speaker 2>you've got more in you, yeah, I remember all dire

497
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:34.519
<v Speaker 2>dead eyes of a killer, right, come on, get on

498
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:34.839
<v Speaker 2>with it.

499
00:26:34.920 --> 00:26:56.440
<v Speaker 5>Other than oh.

500
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:54.599
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's this is a hell of a playlist you've

501
00:26:54.599 --> 00:27:02.359
<v Speaker 2>got going on here? Oh crazy thing my love? Uh

502
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:08.119
<v Speaker 2>not a clip? Sorry, it's not Elvis, is it? What?

503
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:10.519
<v Speaker 2>Quinn Quinn?

504
00:27:11.759 --> 00:27:11.920
<v Speaker 1>Who?

505
00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:16.920
<v Speaker 2>Quinn Quinn quin.

506
00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:20.640
<v Speaker 1>Quinn?

507
00:27:21.319 --> 00:27:25.680
<v Speaker 2>Have you calling the queen clam rude? Yes, I know

508
00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:29.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a queen. I was aiming for comedy, but hey,

509
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:29.680
<v Speaker 2>never mind.

510
00:27:37.079 --> 00:27:47.359
<v Speaker 5>The lah well Lola fire fire hole.

511
00:27:50.599 --> 00:27:55.160
<v Speaker 2>It's like a muppet's been shaved. It's really weird watching.

512
00:27:57.640 --> 00:27:59.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to nightmares about that.

513
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:06.759
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

514
00:28:07.559 --> 00:28:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Can I have that one again? Please? What is the

515
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:13.839
<v Speaker 2>power of love?

516
00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:14.480
<v Speaker 5>All right?

517
00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:19.759
<v Speaker 2>Is that seal? Someone like that?

518
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:20.599
<v Speaker 1>Power?

519
00:28:20.680 --> 00:28:22.119
<v Speaker 2>Love? Oh? Was that the one who got the dude

520
00:28:22.119 --> 00:28:26.119
<v Speaker 2>who got arrested. I can't remember his name. I can't

521
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:28.920
<v Speaker 2>remember what was his name? Some power of love anyway,

522
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:30.240
<v Speaker 2>that guy, dude?

523
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:32.960
<v Speaker 1>What Frankly.

524
00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:38.440
<v Speaker 2>Hollows Right, we've got another one for me?

525
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:53.519
<v Speaker 1>Hello? Ah oh.

526
00:28:56.240 --> 00:28:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Wow, no again? More better? I don't know.

527
00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:12.079
<v Speaker 5>Who a loss oft fall?

528
00:29:15.480 --> 00:29:19.240
<v Speaker 2>No nothing on that one. See. This feels a lot

529
00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:23.920
<v Speaker 2>like kind of visiting granddad in the home and just

530
00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:27.480
<v Speaker 2>he's gone. But since the stroke, he's just been like

531
00:29:27.559 --> 00:29:30.960
<v Speaker 2>completely non Compocompassmentis this is just that kind of he's

532
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:32.480
<v Speaker 2>just singing to himself when we go along and we

533
00:29:32.519 --> 00:29:34.599
<v Speaker 2>chat to him and no one's any idea what's happening?

534
00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:39.359
<v Speaker 2>And then we leave. Yeah, anyway, so what what?

535
00:29:39.359 --> 00:29:45.519
<v Speaker 1>What? At last? At last? At last?

536
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:54.839
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, sure, why not. It's not gonna get any weird, there,

537
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:59.680
<v Speaker 2>is it? Yes?

538
00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:00.599
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

539
00:30:05.079 --> 00:30:08.440
<v Speaker 2>That that is? Uh? Is it an Lennox? That yourhyth mix?

540
00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:15.400
<v Speaker 2>It's uh, nothing compares to you? Is it not any Lenox?

541
00:30:15.519 --> 00:30:21.920
<v Speaker 2>No O'Connor, Yeah, goother one? All right, Yeah, give me more.

542
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:22.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm back on board now.

543
00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:39.480
<v Speaker 5>Who m hm mm hmm.

544
00:30:40.920 --> 00:30:47.480
<v Speaker 2>Now in the stream, all right, yeah, fair enough, that's uh.

545
00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:49.880
<v Speaker 2>Tom Jones isn't it no.

546
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:52.839
<v Speaker 1>Farm?

547
00:30:53.440 --> 00:31:02.559
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmmm, yeah, yeah, No, I don't know how you

548
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:05.400
<v Speaker 2>do Kenny Rogers either, I think actually, if I remember rightly,

549
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:07.279
<v Speaker 2>the reason I'm thinking of Tom Jones is that they

550
00:31:07.319 --> 00:31:10.640
<v Speaker 2>did a Red Nose Day version that was Barry Islands

551
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:13.680
<v Speaker 2>in the Stream, that was Tom Jones and Dolly Parton

552
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:17.720
<v Speaker 2>or someone like that, and it was like the cast

553
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:22.200
<v Speaker 2>of Gavin and Stacey. So I was right. I was

554
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:26.599
<v Speaker 2>just differently right. But yeah, come on one more, at

555
00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:44.359
<v Speaker 2>least probably two or three more, Come on another one? Madonna?

556
00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:55.880
<v Speaker 2>All right again again I didn't get that one? Now,

557
00:31:57.640 --> 00:32:01.559
<v Speaker 2>not getting me? No, sorry, you've lost me again? Oh

558
00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:08.799
<v Speaker 2>h have you got any more any better ones? Oh?

559
00:32:29.720 --> 00:32:35.119
<v Speaker 2>Not a clue? Sorry, Babes a gun I lovely.

560
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:37.559
<v Speaker 1>And boobs lovely?

561
00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:43.480
<v Speaker 2>I thought, all right, well that is definitely enough of that.

562
00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Stay tuned because coming up after this short break we

563
00:32:47.039 --> 00:33:00.240
<v Speaker 2>get our craft on in Crafty Queens. Welcome back. You're

564
00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:03.119
<v Speaker 2>still watching Chewing the Cod with me, Riverscott and Mike,

565
00:33:03.200 --> 00:33:05.440
<v Speaker 2>Benny and Rowe, Well you might not still be watching.

566
00:33:05.480 --> 00:33:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have blamed you for wandering off anyway. If

567
00:33:08.039 --> 00:33:10.039
<v Speaker 2>you are still with us, we're going to learn how

568
00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:15.079
<v Speaker 2>to become seductive through the art of craft in crafty queens.

569
00:33:24.079 --> 00:33:28.599
<v Speaker 1>So underwear. Do you find underwear seductive and sexy.

570
00:33:29.799 --> 00:33:31.200
<v Speaker 2>On myself or on other people?

571
00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:31.599
<v Speaker 1>Either?

572
00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:35.519
<v Speaker 2>Or sometimes? I mean I quite like it when they

573
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:37.799
<v Speaker 2>leave it on the bench in the changing rooms while

574
00:33:37.799 --> 00:33:38.839
<v Speaker 2>they go and have a shower.

575
00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:40.160
<v Speaker 1>Because that gives you access to it.

576
00:33:40.279 --> 00:33:44.079
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I can have a quick, a crafty sniffle. Okay, yeah,

577
00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:45.799
<v Speaker 2>fair enough, that kind of thing. This is.

578
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:53.240
<v Speaker 1>This has been inspired by Rhianna, the songer, songer, The songer, songer, singer.

579
00:33:53.559 --> 00:33:56.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm a songwriter, Rhianna who has brought out her own

580
00:33:56.920 --> 00:34:02.480
<v Speaker 1>Valentine's Day underwear. Why because she can and people will

581
00:34:02.519 --> 00:34:02.799
<v Speaker 1>buy it.

582
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:06.279
<v Speaker 2>She's already a billionaire, and one thing about money, you

583
00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:06.799
<v Speaker 2>want more of it.

584
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:10.480
<v Speaker 1>So we have we have a picture of the underwear

585
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:11.079
<v Speaker 1>that she's brought out.

586
00:34:11.880 --> 00:34:14.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean, all right, I quite like the bow and arrow.

587
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:17.440
<v Speaker 1>I have one to be a little bit of danger.

588
00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:21.360
<v Speaker 1>So I thought, you know, we'd take inspiration from Rhianna

589
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:26.400
<v Speaker 1>and create our own seductive sexual underwear. Okay, okay, So

590
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:27.880
<v Speaker 1>the first thing I've given you is a pair of

591
00:34:27.960 --> 00:34:29.079
<v Speaker 1>basic black pants.

592
00:34:29.480 --> 00:34:30.320
<v Speaker 2>They are quite basic.

593
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.079
<v Speaker 1>They're very basic. So we need to judge these up. Yes, Now,

594
00:34:34.119 --> 00:34:35.480
<v Speaker 1>the first thing we need to do is take them

595
00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:37.960
<v Speaker 1>away from being quite a boring pant and make them

596
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:40.079
<v Speaker 1>into something that a lot of people enjoy, which is

597
00:34:40.119 --> 00:34:44.360
<v Speaker 1>a jockstrap. Right, okay. So I've given you a pair

598
00:34:44.360 --> 00:34:49.360
<v Speaker 1>of scissors, okay, and the key rule is not to

599
00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:52.840
<v Speaker 1>cut the elastic band at the top, otherwise your pants

600
00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:53.559
<v Speaker 1>will fall off.

601
00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:54.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh what a shame.

602
00:34:55.159 --> 00:34:57.639
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. And so the first thing I wants to do

603
00:34:57.679 --> 00:35:00.119
<v Speaker 1>is you want to cut out the crutch? So do

604
00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:02.880
<v Speaker 1>you want to cut the fabric so that the crotch

605
00:35:02.960 --> 00:35:07.719
<v Speaker 1>is left to right? Okay? So if you just go

606
00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:09.519
<v Speaker 1>up from the leg, I'll show you on mine.

607
00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:11.840
<v Speaker 2>Is it worth mentioning that I'm really bad at.

608
00:35:11.719 --> 00:35:14.519
<v Speaker 1>This kind of thing? That's perfectly fine, all right, because

609
00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:15.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm not good.

610
00:35:16.239 --> 00:35:18.239
<v Speaker 4>So first thing I do is cut up the crotchy

611
00:35:18.280 --> 00:35:21.760
<v Speaker 4>bit scene like this, So upper leg, upper leg right

612
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:24.440
<v Speaker 4>up to the elastic band, but not through the elastic

613
00:35:24.679 --> 00:35:27.559
<v Speaker 4>not through the elastic band, because will fall off.

614
00:35:27.559 --> 00:35:29.960
<v Speaker 2>All right, I am with you so far. Oh they

615
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:32.480
<v Speaker 2>don't cut easy, do they? Or is that? Have I

616
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:33.480
<v Speaker 2>got shitty scissors?

617
00:35:34.159 --> 00:35:35.800
<v Speaker 1>Possibly a little from amb.

618
00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:39.679
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, don't trust me with anything sharp like are you

619
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:46.559
<v Speaker 2>accident pro yeah, okay, and also just easily distracted, which

620
00:35:46.599 --> 00:35:48.239
<v Speaker 2>is not good when I'm waving blades around.

621
00:35:48.400 --> 00:35:49.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm glad, I'm over here.

622
00:35:50.599 --> 00:35:52.440
<v Speaker 2>All right, I've done that. And now it's kind of

623
00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:55.360
<v Speaker 2>weird almost like chaps, kind of flappy bits at the front.

624
00:35:55.480 --> 00:35:57.639
<v Speaker 2>That's it, yeah, yeah, go on.

625
00:35:58.039 --> 00:35:59.400
<v Speaker 1>So the next thing we want to do is you

626
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:02.360
<v Speaker 1>want to cut round the top right round towards the

627
00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:06.440
<v Speaker 1>back to the seam. Don't cut through the scene.

628
00:36:06.920 --> 00:36:09.159
<v Speaker 2>Right and the seam is the stitchy bit, the stitchy bit,

629
00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:12.400
<v Speaker 2>yeah right, right here we go. All right.

630
00:36:12.519 --> 00:36:14.960
<v Speaker 1>Then once you've got to the scene, you want to

631
00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:16.920
<v Speaker 1>go down the scene down the sea.

632
00:36:17.800 --> 00:36:19.800
<v Speaker 2>See this is why I don't wear underwear stuff like this.

633
00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:20.800
<v Speaker 2>It's far too fiddley.

634
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:23.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean to be fair. It's not often that

635
00:36:23.039 --> 00:36:25.320
<v Speaker 1>you'll cut your pants up to make a jock strap.

636
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:27.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean to be fair, because you can just buy

637
00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:29.119
<v Speaker 1>a jock strap, all.

638
00:36:29.079 --> 00:36:31.960
<v Speaker 2>Right, show off, someone's got disposable income.

639
00:36:33.559 --> 00:36:35.360
<v Speaker 1>So you want to follow that scene round and then

640
00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:37.000
<v Speaker 1>you want to take it round to the front as well.

641
00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:40.480
<v Speaker 2>Right in one in, one go in one go right.

642
00:36:40.519 --> 00:36:41.880
<v Speaker 2>So when I get to the seam at the back.

643
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:46.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you should be left with this.

644
00:36:47.719 --> 00:36:50.639
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of sniggering going on in the gallery.

645
00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:52.199
<v Speaker 1>Right, There always is a lot of sniggering around the gallery.

646
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:52.679
<v Speaker 1>That's what they do.

647
00:36:53.199 --> 00:36:55.519
<v Speaker 2>There's a bit fell off. Is that good?

648
00:36:55.960 --> 00:36:57.079
<v Speaker 1>It depends which a bit fell off?

649
00:36:57.119 --> 00:36:59.320
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, that's what they all say.

650
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:01.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, now you want to do the same thing again

651
00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:02.119
<v Speaker 1>on the other side.

652
00:37:02.280 --> 00:37:05.039
<v Speaker 2>God, this is gripping television. It is. I've got a

653
00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:08.199
<v Speaker 2>mate who does a cabaret show where they staple five

654
00:37:08.239 --> 00:37:10.840
<v Speaker 2>pound notes themselves. He's a bit weird if I'm honest.

655
00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:13.719
<v Speaker 1>How much do they make for this something? Have a

656
00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:14.920
<v Speaker 1>lot of five pound notes at of shooting?

657
00:37:14.920 --> 00:37:16.840
<v Speaker 2>But well they do it at a touch garden and

658
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:18.559
<v Speaker 2>stuff like that, so people bring them money and they

659
00:37:18.599 --> 00:37:20.159
<v Speaker 2>stable them to themselves and stuff.

660
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm just thinking whether it's something I could viably

661
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:24.039
<v Speaker 1>do for myself.

662
00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:27.400
<v Speaker 2>But I right know, I think it was easier when

663
00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:31.400
<v Speaker 2>before we use plastic money, back when it was like paper.

664
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:35.519
<v Speaker 2>Probably a bit easier, but much easier to clean the

665
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:36.239
<v Speaker 2>plastic money.

666
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:39.480
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, you've got to be careful when you're cleaning.

667
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:40.920
<v Speaker 1>When you of course, in case you get caught doing it,

668
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:41.840
<v Speaker 1>because that's law and brink.

669
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:44.719
<v Speaker 2>That was a joke, wasn't it.

670
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:45.199
<v Speaker 5>It was?

671
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:46.239
<v Speaker 1>I didn't say it was funny.

672
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:47.519
<v Speaker 2>I'm really pleased I spotted that.

673
00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:49.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, not everybody else did.

674
00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:52.280
<v Speaker 2>It's about worry, right, another thing's fallen off, So I

675
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:52.840
<v Speaker 2>think I'm good.

676
00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:55.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So now when you lift up your your remaining pants,

677
00:37:55.400 --> 00:37:59.320
<v Speaker 1>you should have this kind of effect. Yes, you do nothing.

678
00:37:59.360 --> 00:37:59.719
<v Speaker 2>Well done.

679
00:38:00.280 --> 00:38:01.559
<v Speaker 1>Now what we need to do is cut out the

680
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:03.360
<v Speaker 1>middle bit of the bomb.

681
00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Right.

682
00:38:04.840 --> 00:38:07.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so we're cutting out the middle bit up to

683
00:38:07.559 --> 00:38:09.800
<v Speaker 1>the scene, but do not cross any scene. Right, I

684
00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:12.360
<v Speaker 1>have the scene on this so so just be careful

685
00:38:12.440 --> 00:38:14.199
<v Speaker 1>not to cross the bit way to.

686
00:38:15.239 --> 00:38:18.639
<v Speaker 2>All right, all right, I think I can. How do

687
00:38:18.719 --> 00:38:19.679
<v Speaker 2>I start cutting?

688
00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:21.679
<v Speaker 1>My tip is to pick up the middle bit and

689
00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:25.079
<v Speaker 1>chop a bit off. Oh dear, so you have a

690
00:38:25.159 --> 00:38:26.320
<v Speaker 1>hole in the in the bum?

691
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:33.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, these are ship scissors. I think that's definitely. Usually

692
00:38:33.960 --> 00:38:36.079
<v Speaker 2>it's a poor workman that blames his tools, but also me,

693
00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:40.599
<v Speaker 2>and that's fine. Are we going to model these?

694
00:38:41.639 --> 00:38:43.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm not because of the court injunction that stops me

695
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:45.400
<v Speaker 1>getting nude on TV again.

696
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:48.360
<v Speaker 2>All right, maybe I'll put you on my only fans

697
00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:52.760
<v Speaker 2>I can. I'll wear them cross promotion. I can wear

698
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:56.280
<v Speaker 2>them on my only fans, and anyone who's not traumatized

699
00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:59.000
<v Speaker 2>can can and watch the making of right Here.

700
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:03.199
<v Speaker 1>They could. Yeah, did you say you had three people

701
00:39:03.239 --> 00:39:04.960
<v Speaker 1>that scratch your own fans? One of them was your mom.

702
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:07.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so at least two people might might be interested.

703
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:10.199
<v Speaker 2>I don't want my mum thinking she can make these

704
00:39:10.239 --> 00:39:14.360
<v Speaker 2>for me and then cutting up any pants and give

705
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:16.800
<v Speaker 2>them to me. I'm not really a jockstrap kind of guy,

706
00:39:16.880 --> 00:39:20.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, person. I'm only a jockstrap kind of person I.

707
00:39:20.760 --> 00:39:24.000
<v Speaker 1>Am, and I'm not. I understand them, just don't find

708
00:39:24.039 --> 00:39:24.840
<v Speaker 1>them that they're not.

709
00:39:24.920 --> 00:39:28.360
<v Speaker 2>They're not particularly complex pieces of equipment, so no.

710
00:39:28.440 --> 00:39:31.039
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I understand the allure, shall I say? I

711
00:39:31.199 --> 00:39:32.840
<v Speaker 1>just don't find myself comfortable in them.

712
00:39:34.199 --> 00:39:38.039
<v Speaker 2>I prefer a speedo or something nice and tight and bulgeous.

713
00:39:38.679 --> 00:39:40.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't think bulgous is a word, but I'm enjoying it.

714
00:39:41.280 --> 00:39:43.159
<v Speaker 1>I like, I like a bit of support around the

715
00:39:43.199 --> 00:39:48.800
<v Speaker 1>posterior about right. That's perfect. I mean that's not the

716
00:39:48.840 --> 00:39:50.960
<v Speaker 1>word I use for him, but perfect for what we're

717
00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:57.159
<v Speaker 1>raiming for. They're clean. Yeah, I wasn't gonna give you

718
00:39:57.199 --> 00:39:57.960
<v Speaker 1>by pants to cut up.

719
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:02.639
<v Speaker 2>Mostly you needn't say they need to be your so

720
00:40:02.760 --> 00:40:03.599
<v Speaker 2>they didn't need to be clean.

721
00:40:03.880 --> 00:40:06.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, I didn't have anybody else's pants to hand. You

722
00:40:06.039 --> 00:40:07.519
<v Speaker 1>could have the dogs, but it doesn't really wear them.

723
00:40:08.360 --> 00:40:11.440
<v Speaker 1>So so that's that's the outline. We're not going to

724
00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:13.239
<v Speaker 1>make this very Valentine's Day and lovely and get some

725
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:16.840
<v Speaker 1>roses on it to make it pretty, make it sexy?

726
00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:17.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

727
00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:21.360
<v Speaker 1>Do or sexier? And how do we do?

728
00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:25.280
<v Speaker 2>How am I going to make this even sexier, even sexier,

729
00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:27.800
<v Speaker 2>even sexier? Yes, okay, sure, so.

730
00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:29.440
<v Speaker 1>I've given you a glue gun some roses.

731
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:33.239
<v Speaker 2>It's a very silly thing. I do have both a

732
00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:34.840
<v Speaker 2>glue gun, but roses.

733
00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:36.800
<v Speaker 1>I am a decent amount of space away from you.

734
00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:41.719
<v Speaker 1>I am safe and accepted the whole water pistol. So

735
00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:43.519
<v Speaker 1>all you're going to do is a little bit of

736
00:40:43.559 --> 00:40:47.400
<v Speaker 1>glue on the newly created jock strap and then popping

737
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:49.320
<v Speaker 1>a flower, a.

738
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:53.400
<v Speaker 2>Little rosebud on your jock strap. Exactly.

739
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:58.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and so it's just gonna However, however the wim

740
00:40:58.519 --> 00:40:58.840
<v Speaker 1>takes you.

741
00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:01.199
<v Speaker 2>Oh, it's got a bit of snot. It was a

742
00:41:01.280 --> 00:41:03.519
<v Speaker 2>bit of preglue dribbling all over the place.

743
00:41:04.079 --> 00:41:05.360
<v Speaker 1>It does that it's just very drippy.

744
00:41:06.719 --> 00:41:08.960
<v Speaker 2>It reminds me of an X and mine. It was

745
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:09.480
<v Speaker 2>a lot of fun.

746
00:41:09.800 --> 00:41:10.559
<v Speaker 1>I should call him.

747
00:41:12.280 --> 00:41:14.039
<v Speaker 2>No, let's not go that far.

748
00:41:16.440 --> 00:41:17.920
<v Speaker 1>So do you do a lot of crafts at hope?

749
00:41:18.119 --> 00:41:18.920
<v Speaker 2>No, not at all.

750
00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:23.079
<v Speaker 1>I asked that question to everybody doing it, and everyone

751
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:23.800
<v Speaker 1>says no.

752
00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:29.199
<v Speaker 3>The question that comes up is why why do you

753
00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:32.880
<v Speaker 3>not or why I'm asked if you would just well, no,

754
00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:33.280
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

755
00:41:33.559 --> 00:41:36.840
<v Speaker 2>I understand the joy of crafting, but I just don't

756
00:41:36.880 --> 00:41:41.039
<v Speaker 2>have the connection between the bit of my brain that

757
00:41:41.119 --> 00:41:42.760
<v Speaker 2>wants to do something and the bit of my brain

758
00:41:43.079 --> 00:41:44.920
<v Speaker 2>bit of my body that can do the thing. Okay,

759
00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:46.480
<v Speaker 2>it's like, oh, I'd love to do that, and I

760
00:41:46.519 --> 00:41:48.639
<v Speaker 2>can imagine it and it looks fantastic, and then I

761
00:41:48.719 --> 00:41:50.320
<v Speaker 2>try it and it looks like the dog's been at it,

762
00:41:50.360 --> 00:41:54.920
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, okay, maybe not. Then I'm quite liking that.

763
00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:58.119
<v Speaker 1>I have gone with the ideal age of more is more,

764
00:41:58.880 --> 00:41:59.880
<v Speaker 1>more is more, maur.

765
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:01.239
<v Speaker 2>That's that's maths.

766
00:42:03.800 --> 00:42:07.320
<v Speaker 1>And so that you've got a lovely strap for your jock,

767
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:11.599
<v Speaker 1>so you can seduct find someone, and.

768
00:42:11.679 --> 00:42:14.519
<v Speaker 2>So I will. I will wear these on my only fans, okay,

769
00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:16.760
<v Speaker 2>And so if anyone wants to watch me wear them?

770
00:42:17.320 --> 00:42:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Just go look at go find my only fans and

771
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:21.280
<v Speaker 2>if you want, you can buy them off me. Once

772
00:42:21.320 --> 00:42:24.159
<v Speaker 2>I warn them, you'll ball sweaty and stanky, and maybe

773
00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:25.679
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of pre come in there too. Why not,

774
00:42:26.599 --> 00:42:29.119
<v Speaker 2>because I might as well make some money out of

775
00:42:29.159 --> 00:42:30.039
<v Speaker 2>this if I'm not getting.

776
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:34.679
<v Speaker 1>Paid fair enough. Yeah cool, Remember that if you can't

777
00:42:34.679 --> 00:42:36.880
<v Speaker 1>get any pen or any vagien or anything in between,

778
00:42:36.960 --> 00:42:49.880
<v Speaker 1>you're probably making these. So yeah, where are your pants?

779
00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:53.400
<v Speaker 2>Well? I thought I should probably give them a go

780
00:42:54.119 --> 00:42:55.599
<v Speaker 2>the out. Would you like to see?

781
00:42:56.480 --> 00:43:01.760
<v Speaker 1>I will say yes, embrace yourself, embraced, don't run over

782
00:43:01.800 --> 00:43:06.960
<v Speaker 1>the pants, that's okay. Are they comfortable? Are they supporting

783
00:43:07.039 --> 00:43:10.239
<v Speaker 1>what you feel they should be supporting? Do you feel sexual?

784
00:43:10.400 --> 00:43:12.440
<v Speaker 1>Let's let's say yes, let's say yes.

785
00:43:12.559 --> 00:43:13.199
<v Speaker 2>Let's say yes.

786
00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:17.760
<v Speaker 1>Fine, we're talking about package to hold. That's almost the

787
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:19.719
<v Speaker 1>end of the show. But on screen now you can

788
00:43:19.719 --> 00:43:22.119
<v Speaker 1>see how contact details. It's at the coud TV on

789
00:43:22.199 --> 00:43:23.960
<v Speaker 1>your social media, and if you want to catch up

790
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:26.519
<v Speaker 1>with previous episodes, you can always binge us on YouTube.

791
00:43:26.679 --> 00:43:27.960
<v Speaker 1>Just look for Chewing the Could.

792
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.760
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for watching, and we will see you next week.

793
00:43:32.760 --> 00:43:33.719
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye.
