Speaker 1: The Upper Room presents, so you want to stay married
Speaker 1: to Day's episode in this study of family life in
Speaker 1: the modern home is Those Whom God Has Joined Together,
Speaker 1: Especially written and produced for The Upper Room by card
Speaker 1: and E. Morse, and features John MacIntyre as the father,
Speaker 1: Peggy Webber as Barbara, and Sam Edwards as Tom. This
Speaker 1: very evening, Tom Grayson asked Barbara Lawton to marry him.
Speaker 1: It happened out in the grape arbor, with the moon
Speaker 1: full and warm and golden, and the sound of crickets
Speaker 1: in the smell of midsummer grasses and flowers in the air.
Speaker 1: All these blended with the perfume of their new found happiness,
Speaker 1: making the night exquisitely radiant. And in the midst of it,
Speaker 1: Barbara looked through the arbor door and saw the light
Speaker 1: still burning in the living room window, and knew that
Speaker 1: her father was still in his favorite chair reading.
Speaker 2: Tom.
Speaker 3: Listen, you said it. I heard it with my own ears.
Speaker 3: I asked you to marry me, and you said you would.
Speaker 2: Oh I did.
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 3: And put your lips up here again, tom My, dear,
Speaker 3: isn't it wonderful? Isn't it the most gorgeous thing that
Speaker 3: ever happened to two people. And this is just at
Speaker 3: the beginning.
Speaker 5: I'll just think of all the beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous years ahead.
Speaker 2: Tom. Let's go tell my father.
Speaker 3: Sure, why not. Let's go tell the whole world. Let's
Speaker 3: go tell your father. Let's go tell your mother. Hey,
Speaker 3: wait a minute. You don't mean I have to go
Speaker 3: ask your father if I can marry darling. No, I
Speaker 3: should hope not. That had scare me to death.
Speaker 2: Besides you already, I just want father to be the
Speaker 2: first one to know.
Speaker 3: What about your mother?
Speaker 2: She's already asleep. I'll tell her in the morning. Come on, wait, yes.
Speaker 3: Just once more, put your face up here.
Speaker 2: Goodness, girl practically has to stand on her tiptoes, torn
Speaker 2: six footed, a six footer like what.
Speaker 4: Like you?
Speaker 5: Dom Ah, honey, if we lived to be a hundred never,
Speaker 5: never will there be another moment like this.
Speaker 2: Something will always remember.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's go tell your father.
Speaker 2: Come on, don't let the door bang shadow? Wait, mother,
Speaker 2: come on in?
Speaker 4: Mm that you Barbara?
Speaker 2: Oh? And Tom?
Speaker 6: Well, Tom, why aren't you keeping my daughter out pretty late? Uh?
Speaker 4: Mister Lawton, what's the better? Tom? Did you swallow something?
Speaker 2: Mm? No?
Speaker 3: Siry, God father.
Speaker 2: What Tom's trying to say, if you'd let him that
Speaker 2: he's asked me to marry him and I'm going to
Speaker 2: Is that so now.
Speaker 5: With yours and missus Lawson's approval, Well, that is?
Speaker 4: I mean, well, I think that's very handsome of you, Tom.
Speaker 6: There aren't many fathers who have the distinction of having
Speaker 6: been asked for their daughter's hand these days. What I
Speaker 6: mean is that, Yes, I think I know what you mean. Well, Barbara,
Speaker 6: I knew this day would come eventually. Frankly though, rather
Speaker 6: than taught me unaware.
Speaker 2: Darling, Tom will be so good to me and will
Speaker 2: be so happy.
Speaker 4: Oh, yes, sir.
Speaker 6: Well, I think you two young people better sit down
Speaker 6: for a little. I think this is a very good
Speaker 6: time to say a few things.
Speaker 3: You're not going to try to talk us out of
Speaker 3: getting married, are you?
Speaker 4: No, job, No, I'm very much in favor of marriage. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Sit on the arm my chair, Barbara, Tom, you sit
Speaker 6: here on this footstool.
Speaker 4: Yes, sir. Good Barbara.
Speaker 6: As you know, and your capacity is a daughter in
Speaker 6: the family, that there's been great love and affection between
Speaker 6: your mother and me.
Speaker 2: Yes, And that's how I want Tom and me to
Speaker 2: be too.
Speaker 6: I know you do, and as he sits here full
Speaker 6: of the first excitement of your engagement.
Speaker 4: I know that's what Tom wants to.
Speaker 5: But we already have it, mister Lawton. We both feel
Speaker 5: the same way. Oh, we're probably the two best suited
Speaker 5: people for each other that ever got married.
Speaker 6: I'm glad you feel that way, Tom, But believe me,
Speaker 6: there's a great deal more to marriage than passionate eagerness,
Speaker 6: this burning desire which you feel at the moment.
Speaker 3: Honestly, Barbara, I don't think he understands.
Speaker 2: Maybe you've forgotten fun.
Speaker 6: My DearS, you don't forget anything as important as the
Speaker 6: beautiful moment when the girl you love consents to your proposal. No,
Speaker 6: that lives with a man. But that's part of the perfume.
Speaker 6: The fragrance of marriage, The substance of marriage is something else.
Speaker 2: The substance of marriage.
Speaker 6: Other things about marriage that keep it alive, make it work,
Speaker 6: The real function of marriage that makes it necessary to
Speaker 6: men and women. In other words, the inner needs in
Speaker 6: all of us which make the husband wife relationship the
Speaker 6: most important of all relationships.
Speaker 3: You know what he's talking about, Barbara, I don't think
Speaker 3: so well.
Speaker 6: There are certain human relations which belong only to a
Speaker 6: husband and wife. And if these elements are understood and
Speaker 6: practiced in the home, they bind a marriage into a beautiful,
Speaker 6: cohesive force from within that nothing in the world can destroy.
Speaker 2: You and mother.
Speaker 6: Practice we do, indeed, and most of them you'll recognize,
Speaker 6: and I tell you what they are. Now, First, let
Speaker 6: me preface what I am going to say by repeating
Speaker 6: to you something you may already know. Every anxious or
Speaker 6: unpleasant emotion we feel in our lives, from cradle to grave,
Speaker 6: stems from fear. Fear causes suspicion. Fear causes hatred, Fear
Speaker 6: causes anxiety. Fear makes us selfish, dissatisfied, unkind Fear makes
Speaker 6: us money.
Speaker 4: Grabbers, cheaters.
Speaker 6: Fear is the great destroyer, the chief enemy of mankind. Now,
Speaker 6: with that in mind, here are some of the wonderful
Speaker 6: things which a good marriage does for a man and woman. One,
Speaker 6: it satisfies that great human hunger for security.
Speaker 3: You mean you've fixed it, so missus Lawton doesn't have
Speaker 3: to worry about money.
Speaker 4: Well, no, Tom, it isn't money. It's the security of
Speaker 4: your inner self.
Speaker 6: Now, when you were a little boy and you were
Speaker 6: frightened or hurt, you ran home crying, and your mother
Speaker 6: gathered you up in her arms, and you felt wonderfully
Speaker 6: soothed and safe.
Speaker 4: Do you ever have such an experience?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 6: Sure, that's the security I mean, a man and wife
Speaker 6: have that sort of security in their marriage.
Speaker 4: We never get over.
Speaker 6: The need of some one who cares personally and intimately,
Speaker 6: some one to tell us that bad times are going
Speaker 6: to change to good times, that we are going to
Speaker 6: get well from our hurts. No matter what happens, there
Speaker 6: are two of us to sink or swim together.
Speaker 2: Are those the things you and mother used to be
Speaker 2: saying to each other lying in bed in the dark
Speaker 2: during those depression days when you were out of work.
Speaker 3: Yes, Barbara, I used to wonder.
Speaker 2: I was little, but I remember I could hear your
Speaker 2: voices softly from my bed and made me feel warm
Speaker 2: and comfortable, so that it was easy to go to sleep.
Speaker 6: A man's feeling of security in a woman and a
Speaker 6: woman's sense of security in a man are sacred and precious,
Speaker 6: and all by themselves make marriage the greatest of all
Speaker 6: human relationships. And next, there's the need of all of
Speaker 6: us for affection. The human being is a naturally loving
Speaker 6: and affectionate animal, which is natural to love and want
Speaker 6: to be loved, as it.
Speaker 4: Is to breathe.
Speaker 6: And I'm not talking about romantic love, which too often
Speaker 6: drifts often to promiscuous love.
Speaker 4: Silly girls and boys who use.
Speaker 6: This superficial surface affection as though it were pocket money
Speaker 6: to be lavished on any one at hand, are endangering
Speaker 6: their whole emotional lives. Now, I'm talking about the affection
Speaker 6: that's planted in marriage and grows and becomes dearer and
Speaker 6: stronger with the years.
Speaker 5: Mister Lawton, I couldn't possibly love Barbara any more than
Speaker 5: I do now.
Speaker 3: I couldn't possibly I haven't got room for it.
Speaker 6: Well, you let Barbara lay your first child in your arms.
Speaker 4: Let her hold you in.
Speaker 6: Her arms some night when you've lost your job and
Speaker 6: you don't know where next week's food money's coming from.
Speaker 6: Let her renew your faith in yourself and all the
Speaker 6: worlds as you're finished. My boy, you don't even know
Speaker 6: the meaning of affection tonight. Well, what's the matter, Tom.
Speaker 3: I just had a feeling like I was going down
Speaker 3: in an elevator fast.
Speaker 2: Tom, you're white as a sheet.
Speaker 3: But supposing we did have children and I was to
Speaker 3: lose my job. Darling, I'm not very secure. Maybe you'd
Speaker 3: better not take a chance.
Speaker 2: Tom.
Speaker 3: Well, there are fellows around town whose fathers have money.
Speaker 3: Fellows you move over, But Barbara, you don't.
Speaker 2: You're the man I loved Tom, But I.
Speaker 3: Never thought of what I might be getting you into.
Speaker 4: And tell mister law you think.
Speaker 2: We can get ourselves into anything, we can't somehow get
Speaker 2: ourselves out of.
Speaker 5: You still want to take a chance on me. You
Speaker 5: were knowing, Hey, hey, I can do all right?
Speaker 3: What am I worried about? I got muscles and a brain.
Speaker 3: Why should I let my wife down?
Speaker 6: You see how it works, Tom, write In these few seconds,
Speaker 6: and without realizing what you were doing, you two demonstrated
Speaker 6: a number of the elements which go into a good
Speaker 6: marriage and tie a man and woman closer together. She
Speaker 6: gave you a feeling of security because she believes in you.
Speaker 6: You felt the affection in her attitude and words. Suddenly
Speaker 6: your need for companionship is satisfying. Here you are companions
Speaker 6: in the business of living, companions and working for the future.
Speaker 2: But isn't that affectioned there?
Speaker 6: Yes, my dear, But there's a deeper element. You also
Speaker 6: can enjoy the companionship of a man or woman. It's
Speaker 6: an intellectual relationship, a meeting.
Speaker 4: Of the mind.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I get it.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 6: There's another inner need, inner longing, which all of us
Speaker 6: have at times in which the husband and wife relationship
Speaker 6: satisfies perfectly if it's functioning as it should. One of
Speaker 6: them's the need for recognition in a business way. Yes,
Speaker 6: we all like to be recognized as success. But what
Speaker 6: I mean is something more fundamental. We all have a
Speaker 6: craving for recognition as individuals, as personalities. We all have
Speaker 6: a dread of being lost in the mass of humanity.
Speaker 6: We want to express ourselves, show what we are. It's
Speaker 6: a basic need in all of us, and most of
Speaker 6: us only get that recognition from an understanding husband or wife.
Speaker 6: I feel important to your mother, Barbara, and that's a
Speaker 6: great satisfaction to me, and I know that by recognizing
Speaker 6: her importance in my life, I give her added happiness.
Speaker 6: A man and wife have got to live in one another.
Speaker 6: That is marriage, and that's what I understand. You Tom
Speaker 6: and you Barbara wish to enter into.
Speaker 2: Wow, it's a lot more important than just saying I
Speaker 2: do it. The altars.
Speaker 6: Yeah, do you want to reconsider all. No, no, sir,
Speaker 6: you still want to be married.
Speaker 3: Oh it sounds great. I wouldn't miss it for anything.
Speaker 4: It is great. A good marriage is truly made in heaven.
Speaker 1: If the family ties are uncertain and giving way, family
Speaker 1: worship will help to strengthen them. Worship in the church
Speaker 1: of your choice, and have daily devotions in your home.
Speaker 1: The church and the home are the basic rocks upon
Speaker 1: which the moral structure of this nation is built. They
Speaker 1: should be, and must be, one united foundation. Ask your
Speaker 1: pastor for devotional helps or send a postcard to the
Speaker 1: Upper Room Nashville, Tennessee your announcer, Russell Thorston.