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<v Speaker 1>The Upper Room presents, so you want to stay married

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<v Speaker 1>to Day's episode in this study of family life in

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<v Speaker 1>the modern home is Those Whom God Has Joined Together,

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<v Speaker 1>Especially written and produced for The Upper Room by card

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<v Speaker 1>and E. Morse, and features John MacIntyre as the father,

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<v Speaker 1>Peggy Webber as Barbara, and Sam Edwards as Tom. This

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<v Speaker 1>very evening, Tom Grayson asked Barbara Lawton to marry him.

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<v Speaker 1>It happened out in the grape arbor, with the moon

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<v Speaker 1>full and warm and golden, and the sound of crickets

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<v Speaker 1>in the smell of midsummer grasses and flowers in the air.

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<v Speaker 1>All these blended with the perfume of their new found happiness,

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<v Speaker 1>making the night exquisitely radiant. And in the midst of it,

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<v Speaker 1>Barbara looked through the arbor door and saw the light

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<v Speaker 1>still burning in the living room window, and knew that

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<v Speaker 1>her father was still in his favorite chair reading.

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<v Speaker 2>Tom.

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<v Speaker 3>Listen, you said it. I heard it with my own ears.

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<v Speaker 3>I asked you to marry me, and you said you would.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh I did.

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<v Speaker 4>I did?

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<v Speaker 3>And put your lips up here again, tom My, dear,

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<v Speaker 3>isn't it wonderful? Isn't it the most gorgeous thing that

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<v Speaker 3>ever happened to two people. And this is just at

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<v Speaker 3>the beginning.

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<v Speaker 5>I'll just think of all the beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous years ahead.

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<v Speaker 2>Tom. Let's go tell my father.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, why not. Let's go tell the whole world. Let's

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<v Speaker 3>go tell your father. Let's go tell your mother. Hey,

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<v Speaker 3>wait a minute. You don't mean I have to go

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<v Speaker 3>ask your father if I can marry darling. No, I

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<v Speaker 3>should hope not. That had scare me to death.

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<v Speaker 2>Besides you already, I just want father to be the

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<v Speaker 2>first one to know.

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<v Speaker 3>What about your mother?

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<v Speaker 2>She's already asleep. I'll tell her in the morning. Come on, wait, yes.

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<v Speaker 3>Just once more, put your face up here.

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<v Speaker 2>Goodness, girl practically has to stand on her tiptoes, torn

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<v Speaker 2>six footed, a six footer like what.

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<v Speaker 4>Like you?

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<v Speaker 5>Dom Ah, honey, if we lived to be a hundred never,

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<v Speaker 5>never will there be another moment like this.

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<v Speaker 2>Something will always remember.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, let's go tell your father.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, don't let the door bang shadow? Wait, mother,

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<v Speaker 2>come on in?

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<v Speaker 4>Mm that you Barbara?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? And Tom?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, Tom, why aren't you keeping my daughter out pretty late? Uh?

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<v Speaker 4>Mister Lawton, what's the better? Tom? Did you swallow something?

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<v Speaker 2>Mm? No?

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<v Speaker 3>Siry, God father.

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<v Speaker 2>What Tom's trying to say, if you'd let him that

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<v Speaker 2>he's asked me to marry him and I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>Is that so now.

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<v Speaker 5>With yours and missus Lawson's approval, Well, that is?

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, well, I think that's very handsome of you, Tom.

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<v Speaker 6>There aren't many fathers who have the distinction of having

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<v Speaker 6>been asked for their daughter's hand these days. What I

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<v Speaker 6>mean is that, Yes, I think I know what you mean. Well, Barbara,

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<v Speaker 6>I knew this day would come eventually. Frankly though, rather

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<v Speaker 6>than taught me unaware.

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<v Speaker 2>Darling, Tom will be so good to me and will

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<v Speaker 2>be so happy.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, yes, sir.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, I think you two young people better sit down

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<v Speaker 6>for a little. I think this is a very good

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<v Speaker 6>time to say a few things.

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<v Speaker 3>You're not going to try to talk us out of

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<v Speaker 3>getting married, are you?

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<v Speaker 4>No, job, No, I'm very much in favor of marriage. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>Sit on the arm my chair, Barbara, Tom, you sit

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<v Speaker 6>here on this footstool.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, sir. Good Barbara.

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<v Speaker 6>As you know, and your capacity is a daughter in

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<v Speaker 6>the family, that there's been great love and affection between

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<v Speaker 6>your mother and me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, And that's how I want Tom and me to

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<v Speaker 2>be too.

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<v Speaker 6>I know you do, and as he sits here full

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<v Speaker 6>of the first excitement of your engagement.

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<v Speaker 4>I know that's what Tom wants to.

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<v Speaker 5>But we already have it, mister Lawton. We both feel

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<v Speaker 5>the same way. Oh, we're probably the two best suited

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<v Speaker 5>people for each other that ever got married.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm glad you feel that way, Tom, But believe me,

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<v Speaker 6>there's a great deal more to marriage than passionate eagerness,

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<v Speaker 6>this burning desire which you feel at the moment.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly, Barbara, I don't think he understands.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you've forgotten fun.

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<v Speaker 6>My DearS, you don't forget anything as important as the

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<v Speaker 6>beautiful moment when the girl you love consents to your proposal. No,

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<v Speaker 6>that lives with a man. But that's part of the perfume.

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<v Speaker 6>The fragrance of marriage, The substance of marriage is something else.

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<v Speaker 2>The substance of marriage.

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<v Speaker 6>Other things about marriage that keep it alive, make it work,

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<v Speaker 6>The real function of marriage that makes it necessary to

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<v Speaker 6>men and women. In other words, the inner needs in

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<v Speaker 6>all of us which make the husband wife relationship the

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<v Speaker 6>most important of all relationships.

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<v Speaker 3>You know what he's talking about, Barbara, I don't think

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<v Speaker 3>so well.

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<v Speaker 6>There are certain human relations which belong only to a

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<v Speaker 6>husband and wife. And if these elements are understood and

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<v Speaker 6>practiced in the home, they bind a marriage into a beautiful,

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<v Speaker 6>cohesive force from within that nothing in the world can destroy.

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<v Speaker 2>You and mother.

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<v Speaker 6>Practice we do, indeed, and most of them you'll recognize,

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<v Speaker 6>and I tell you what they are. Now, First, let

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<v Speaker 6>me preface what I am going to say by repeating

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<v Speaker 6>to you something you may already know. Every anxious or

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<v Speaker 6>unpleasant emotion we feel in our lives, from cradle to grave,

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<v Speaker 6>stems from fear. Fear causes suspicion. Fear causes hatred, Fear

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<v Speaker 6>causes anxiety. Fear makes us selfish, dissatisfied, unkind Fear makes

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<v Speaker 6>us money.

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<v Speaker 4>Grabbers, cheaters.

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<v Speaker 6>Fear is the great destroyer, the chief enemy of mankind. Now,

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<v Speaker 6>with that in mind, here are some of the wonderful

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<v Speaker 6>things which a good marriage does for a man and woman. One,

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<v Speaker 6>it satisfies that great human hunger for security.

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<v Speaker 3>You mean you've fixed it, so missus Lawton doesn't have

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<v Speaker 3>to worry about money.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, no, Tom, it isn't money. It's the security of

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<v Speaker 4>your inner self.

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<v Speaker 6>Now, when you were a little boy and you were

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<v Speaker 6>frightened or hurt, you ran home crying, and your mother

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<v Speaker 6>gathered you up in her arms, and you felt wonderfully

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<v Speaker 6>soothed and safe.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you ever have such an experience?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 6>Sure, that's the security I mean, a man and wife

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<v Speaker 6>have that sort of security in their marriage.

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<v Speaker 4>We never get over.

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<v Speaker 6>The need of some one who cares personally and intimately,

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<v Speaker 6>some one to tell us that bad times are going

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<v Speaker 6>to change to good times, that we are going to

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<v Speaker 6>get well from our hurts. No matter what happens, there

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<v Speaker 6>are two of us to sink or swim together.

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<v Speaker 2>Are those the things you and mother used to be

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<v Speaker 2>saying to each other lying in bed in the dark

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<v Speaker 2>during those depression days when you were out of work.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, Barbara, I used to wonder.

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<v Speaker 2>I was little, but I remember I could hear your

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<v Speaker 2>voices softly from my bed and made me feel warm

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<v Speaker 2>and comfortable, so that it was easy to go to sleep.

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<v Speaker 6>A man's feeling of security in a woman and a

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<v Speaker 6>woman's sense of security in a man are sacred and precious,

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<v Speaker 6>and all by themselves make marriage the greatest of all

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<v Speaker 6>human relationships. And next, there's the need of all of

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<v Speaker 6>us for affection. The human being is a naturally loving

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<v Speaker 6>and affectionate animal, which is natural to love and want

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<v Speaker 6>to be loved, as it.

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<v Speaker 4>Is to breathe.

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<v Speaker 6>And I'm not talking about romantic love, which too often

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<v Speaker 6>drifts often to promiscuous love.

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<v Speaker 4>Silly girls and boys who use.

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<v Speaker 6>This superficial surface affection as though it were pocket money

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<v Speaker 6>to be lavished on any one at hand, are endangering

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<v Speaker 6>their whole emotional lives. Now, I'm talking about the affection

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<v Speaker 6>that's planted in marriage and grows and becomes dearer and

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<v Speaker 6>stronger with the years.

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<v Speaker 5>Mister Lawton, I couldn't possibly love Barbara any more than

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<v Speaker 5>I do now.

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't possibly I haven't got room for it.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, you let Barbara lay your first child in your arms.

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<v Speaker 4>Let her hold you in.

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<v Speaker 6>Her arms some night when you've lost your job and

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<v Speaker 6>you don't know where next week's food money's coming from.

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<v Speaker 6>Let her renew your faith in yourself and all the

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<v Speaker 6>worlds as you're finished. My boy, you don't even know

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<v Speaker 6>the meaning of affection tonight. Well, what's the matter, Tom.

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<v Speaker 3>I just had a feeling like I was going down

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<v Speaker 3>in an elevator fast.

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<v Speaker 2>Tom, you're white as a sheet.

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<v Speaker 3>But supposing we did have children and I was to

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<v Speaker 3>lose my job. Darling, I'm not very secure. Maybe you'd

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<v Speaker 3>better not take a chance.

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<v Speaker 2>Tom.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, there are fellows around town whose fathers have money.

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<v Speaker 3>Fellows you move over, But Barbara, you don't.

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<v Speaker 2>You're the man I loved Tom, But I.

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<v Speaker 3>Never thought of what I might be getting you into.

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<v Speaker 4>And tell mister law you think.

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<v Speaker 2>We can get ourselves into anything, we can't somehow get

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<v Speaker 2>ourselves out of.

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<v Speaker 5>You still want to take a chance on me. You

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<v Speaker 5>were knowing, Hey, hey, I can do all right?

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<v Speaker 3>What am I worried about? I got muscles and a brain.

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<v Speaker 3>Why should I let my wife down?

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<v Speaker 6>You see how it works, Tom, write In these few seconds,

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<v Speaker 6>and without realizing what you were doing, you two demonstrated

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<v Speaker 6>a number of the elements which go into a good

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<v Speaker 6>marriage and tie a man and woman closer together. She

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<v Speaker 6>gave you a feeling of security because she believes in you.

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<v Speaker 6>You felt the affection in her attitude and words. Suddenly

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<v Speaker 6>your need for companionship is satisfying. Here you are companions

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<v Speaker 6>in the business of living, companions and working for the future.

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<v Speaker 2>But isn't that affectioned there?

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<v Speaker 6>Yes, my dear, But there's a deeper element. You also

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<v Speaker 6>can enjoy the companionship of a man or woman. It's

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<v Speaker 6>an intellectual relationship, a meeting.

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<v Speaker 4>Of the mind.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, I get it.

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<v Speaker 4>Now.

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<v Speaker 6>There's another inner need, inner longing, which all of us

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<v Speaker 6>have at times in which the husband and wife relationship

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<v Speaker 6>satisfies perfectly if it's functioning as it should. One of

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<v Speaker 6>them's the need for recognition in a business way. Yes,

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<v Speaker 6>we all like to be recognized as success. But what

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<v Speaker 6>I mean is something more fundamental. We all have a

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<v Speaker 6>craving for recognition as individuals, as personalities. We all have

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<v Speaker 6>a dread of being lost in the mass of humanity.

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<v Speaker 6>We want to express ourselves, show what we are. It's

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<v Speaker 6>a basic need in all of us, and most of

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<v Speaker 6>us only get that recognition from an understanding husband or wife.

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<v Speaker 6>I feel important to your mother, Barbara, and that's a

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<v Speaker 6>great satisfaction to me, and I know that by recognizing

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<v Speaker 6>her importance in my life, I give her added happiness.

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<v Speaker 6>A man and wife have got to live in one another.

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<v Speaker 6>That is marriage, and that's what I understand. You Tom

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<v Speaker 6>and you Barbara wish to enter into.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, it's a lot more important than just saying I

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<v Speaker 2>do it. The altars.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, do you want to reconsider all. No, no, sir,

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<v Speaker 6>you still want to be married.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh it sounds great. I wouldn't miss it for anything.

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<v Speaker 4>It is great. A good marriage is truly made in heaven.

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<v Speaker 1>If the family ties are uncertain and giving way, family

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<v Speaker 1>worship will help to strengthen them. Worship in the church

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<v Speaker 1>of your choice, and have daily devotions in your home.

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<v Speaker 1>The church and the home are the basic rocks upon

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<v Speaker 1>which the moral structure of this nation is built. They

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<v Speaker 1>should be, and must be, one united foundation. Ask your

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<v Speaker 1>pastor for devotional helps or send a postcard to the

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<v Speaker 1>Upper Room Nashville, Tennessee your announcer, Russell Thorston.