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Speaker 1: You guys, welcome back to Talking Schmandt. I'm your host,

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Brittany Schmith. This episode is so special to me. It

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is with one of my dear friends, comedian podcaster actor

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Craig Cone.

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Speaker 2: It please enjoy.

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Speaker 3: Did you know back in the day, you you would

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fly and then as soon as you're at a certain altitude,

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they would say, okay, go party and that was like

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a middle uh uh like bar area where everyone gathered. Yeah,

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like it was fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, you do you remember Virgin Airlines? Did you ever

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fly them?

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Speaker 3: No? I never did.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Virgin and that was obviously Richard Branson's airline.

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I think it got something by something, But I remember

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I would take those flights to Vegas and.

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Speaker 2: I can't say Vegas right, How the fuck do you

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say Vegas, Las Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.

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Speaker 1: I would take the flights to Vegas and they had

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like bars and they would serve alcohol.

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Speaker 2: You would get up. It was a party. It was

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like purple lights bars like.

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Speaker 1: From the because usually when you fly to Vegas from LA,

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they don't even have drink service because it's so short.

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The second they got to cruising altitude, they're like all

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the drinks.

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Speaker 3: You want, so they go get up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they brought it back for a minute and then

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it went away.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, everything's gone to shit. We sound like old men now,

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I know I'm marking mine day. It's true.

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Speaker 1: No, Ig Craig, let's get fired up about how expensive

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Taco Bell is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you shouldn't have to pay fourteen dollars to

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get diarrhea. Where's my cameras?

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Speaker 2: That also not fourteen dollars I got. I got diary,

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I got diarrhea.

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Speaker 3: I got for twenty four dollars.

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Speaker 2: I got diarrhea with my boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, I got Taco Bell with my boyfriend. It was

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forty seven dollars for two of us.

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Speaker 3: For I was like, what do we You can't charges

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that much to get cancer. Literally, this is fucked.

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Speaker 2: Back in my day, cancer used to be free.

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Speaker 3: That ship was known as dog Foodah, and it was

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you eight bucks and you're feeding.

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Speaker 2: The family exactly, That's what it was for I did.

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People can't even afford it.

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Speaker 3: Got poor person.

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Speaker 2: You gotta know to use the app.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Mike, No, Butail.

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Speaker 2: We're not.

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Speaker 3: We're not doing an app for taco we want to

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go that far.

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Speaker 2: We're already fucked up.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, who's more addict the guy who's got

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the app or Yeah, that's your addiction.

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Speaker 2: Craig.

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Speaker 1: I love you so much. I can't believe what a

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year you've had.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my god, it's oh me. Yeah,

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let's talk about it. Yeah, what happened? I don't know.

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I uh, I puked in a bucket enough times. That

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paid the price. You didham did ayahuasca nineteen times.

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Speaker 2: And you did it nineteen times. Talk about an addict.

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Speaker 3: It's good for you, it's good for you.

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Speaker 2: Did you get new teeth?

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Speaker 3: No, I still need tooth. Oh yeah, I just have

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nice teeth.

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Speaker 2: Oh beautiful. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I know you went on your journey. You did all

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the work. You got a lot of work on yourself.

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Speaker 3: Work so much. It's so hard, and it's like the

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it never stopped, never stop.

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Speaker 1: It's so exhausting to work through that stuff. But you

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got to the other side of it.

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Speaker 2: And then we're rewarded handsomely.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I just got to say to all my fellow

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knuckleheads out there, stay in the pocket. One of the

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reasons I know I might become the annoying, preachy guy

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to the home me to be like no, you could

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do it. It's because it happened for me, and I

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just put I stayed in the trenches and just stayed

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on the path. Even though I wanted to quit, I

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wanted to go back to being an opener. I was

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ready to quit headlining the fucking feature again because I'm like,

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this is hard, and uh I didn't and you just stay.

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It's hard. It's like every cheesy saying is true.

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Speaker 2: It's really hard. I mean so hard dogging it out

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on the road. But you worked your ass off.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you were.

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Speaker 2: I mean you road dogged like a motherfucker. You still are.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, you just make money.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know you're making money.

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Speaker 3: Before it was the break even tour. Then it was

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to make a little bit of money to work. And

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now I'm like, wow, this is great.

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Speaker 2: See I'm on my third break even dour. Yeah, I

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might actually be losing money. I think I'm paying to work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just stay in the pocket, stay in the pocket.

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Speaker 2: How long do I stay in the pocket for?

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Speaker 3: Well, no, you have this, that's the thing. Yeah, I

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wouldn't tell you to stay in the pocket if you

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didn't have the goods.

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Speaker 2: You want to tell people to quit comedy.

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Speaker 3: All the time, the time, all the time. I'm like,

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if you you're fifteen years in and you don't have

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a fucking clue, what or just redirect your energy. I

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know so many people that there's comics that clearly, uh,

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I don't want to how to say this without sounding rude,

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Just just redirect, right. I had a homie that wasn't

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that good at stand up and then he started going

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behind the scenes and now he drives a tesla and

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is making money and is becoming very powerful behind the

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camera instead of in front of the camera. Yeah, and

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a lot of times ego won't allow people to assess

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their situation honestly, right. And when you're now you're behind

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the scenes and you're printing your own money and you

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have an income, you can breathe, and now you might

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pursue the stand up area with a new energy.

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Speaker 1: Will be so desperate, more leisurely, more for creativity, for fun,

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rather than for like, I need this to work, because

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it's that I need this energy that I need.

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Speaker 2: Grow. You need it that bad. Although we've all been there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know we've all needed that fifty.

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Speaker 2: But it is hard.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to talk to you about this

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because like you did trudge through the ship, like you

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really worked really hard on the road for a long time.

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And how how do you like reconcile in your mind

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when you're hitting yourself up against the wall. You're exhausted,

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you're on the road, you're tired. It's not you're not

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making money like bo, Like, how do you not take

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that as a sign from the universe to stop?

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Speaker 2: Like what keeps you going when you're in that situation?

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Speaker 3: For me, I'm not even kidding it was merch? Yeah,

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I sold merch. I don't that's that's a physical financial

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answer to your question.

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Speaker 1: As that's okay, no, no, no, it's just it's like, okay,

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so you know, energetically, when you're working with the universe,

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it's supposed to flow, it's supposed to be easy, it's

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supposed to feel aligned. And when you are in those

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road dog years of being a comedian, which I'm in

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right now, it doesn't feel aligned.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't feel aligned for me to.

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Speaker 1: Lug two suitcases to a daze in with a dirty

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fucking pillow case.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can do a show to.

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Speaker 1: Thirty six people in Atlanta and lose the club money

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and lose the days of my life in my spirit,

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like it feels like not aligned. But I know you

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felt that too, and then all of a sudden it hit.

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So it's like what made you keep going?

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm tough because of my childhood, and I know

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you can I can have a similar one. Yeah, and

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that's you know what I mean. You're fermented, you're cooked.

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And I'm gonna give you the analogies that I heard

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off of straight up YouTube, but they helped me. It's hard.

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It's it's because I understand what you're saying, like like,

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go with the flow. If you're flowing, if your flow state,

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it's not hard. It was like fucking bullshit. These are

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the analogies I like, you plant your seeds. Everything has

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like you plant the seed to grow the tree, but

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the tree takes years to fucking grow. I'm gonna fuck

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with this analogy, but it's true. You you the seed

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grows in the dark. You're in the darkness for a

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long fucking time, and then it sprouts and then it's

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it's like it's weak though, and then all of a sudden,

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over time, you have this giant tree that you could

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barely cut down with the fucking chainsaw. And that's like

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the analogy I heard to where I was like, that's

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that's it. That's how it is. You're in the dirt,

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you're in the dark. You can't even see. You don't

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know what you're doing. I didn't know what I was doing.

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I was setting on my own camera to record my

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head landing set, setting up my own merch, putting a

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sheet over it, hoping no one would steal it. Well,

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I'm on stage for fucking hour telling a bartender to

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watch my shit and going like, god, I hope he does.

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People did steal hoodies from me and Poughkeepsie, and it

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makes me not want.

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Speaker 2: To go back and see you're on the shit list.

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Speaker 3: And that's the darkness. And then now I bring two

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homies with me, they set up the camera and they

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sell the merch. I'm making money, they're making money. I'm

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hooking up my buds and now the tree grew, I'm

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bearing fruit. But you're in the dark a long time.

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I was in the dark for like eleven years, twelve years,

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and that's actually short. Yeah, that's what's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Most Yeah, in comedy, people always say it's an overnight

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success or you blew up?

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Speaker 2: Are you this are you that, And it's like, no,

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I've been.

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Speaker 3: Working my whole life, ten to twenty years. Yeah, it

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takes ten to twenty years. Ten if you're lucky and

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if you're low that you're anomaly, right, or you.

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Speaker 1: Got really lucky on social media and you can't sustain

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it because you don't really have the legs under you.

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Speaker 3: Well, there's two things that happen. That happens to the

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guy that doesn't have it, comes fast, goes fast, and

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then it'll happen to like a young goat, like a

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Ralph Barbo. So he's ready, he had to glow, he

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had the star and he and it just keeps growing. Yeah,

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but there's the YouTubers that pop and then people go

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to shows and the lady this isn't standing, Yeah, this isn't.

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But yeah, I understand what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: What's the most devastating comment you've ever gotten on a

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social media post? I?

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Speaker 3: Uh, I can't remember. I don't engage with that anymore.

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Speaker 2: Good good for you.

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Speaker 3: Uh, there's been some though.

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Speaker 1: In the beginning, I feel like, sorry to interrupt, I

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asked you a question, and then to interrupt my podcast.

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Speaker 2: I just keep talking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how, Like, I just feel like I

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get crushed and cooked in the comments all the time, and.

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Speaker 3: Look away doing this for look away.

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Speaker 2: Fard you can.

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Speaker 1: You tell that I just brought you here to either

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and tell me to quick commony.

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Speaker 3: You do dark comedy, you're and you're a female. I'm sorry.

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You guys get it fifty times worse than men. I

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hope you know that. Yeah, at twenty to fifty times

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worse in the comment section. Uh so there's just that. Yeah,

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and then on top of that, you got the goods.

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So why are you looking at that? Yeah, just don't engage.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's hard.

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Speaker 1: You open your Instagram, it's like the you know, the

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feeds right there, and then someone's just like, yeah, you know,

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like you're the reason. I got one the other day

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that said you're the reason your mom killed herself.

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Thanks?

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Speaker 2: Hell yeah dude, I laughed, I really laughed. I was like,

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how dark of a place do you have to be

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in to write that? That's crazy? And then your response

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was really funny.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, tell them the truth. Yeah, put it on blast.

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Either tell them the truth, put it on blast and

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make the internet hate them for being a disgusting human.

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Being or just completely ignore all of it. Yeah, I say,

243
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put them on blasts or ignore it all. Yeah, it's

244
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hard to ignore it all. And every now and then

245
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one creeps in. None of mine have been as vicious

246
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:16,399
as yours. That's insane. I've been told ship though. Ah,

247
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I guess I'm pretty good at forgetting. That's awesome.

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Speaker 1: That's great, because that's what And honestly, after like a

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week or two, I forget everything too.

250
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Speaker 2: But it's just it's a tough. It's a tough thing.

251
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Speaker 1: Like when you're out there trying to make people laugh

252
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and then people attack your character they say.

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Speaker 3: You're not funny, and I'm like, well, why are you

254
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,720
on my page? Just keep it moving. The TV is

255
00:11:35,759 --> 00:11:38,679
the best analogy. You just changed the channel. You don't

256
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:42,360
say fuck you, Tom Cruise, your fucking pieces shit, you

257
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just flip it. Yeah, move on, move on.

258
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Speaker 2: You can access Tom Cruise.

259
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Speaker 1: Everyone has too much access to us now, not like

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I'm putting myself in.

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Speaker 2: The same campus Tom Cruise.

262
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Speaker 1: It does too much access to me and Tom Cruise

263
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Mission impossible.

264
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Speaker 2: He's looking at the YouTube comments and impossible trailer, like fuck,

265
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they're talking about my face.

266
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Speaker 3: They're saying it yeah, just uh yeah. It's hard though,

267
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and you're gonna get some gnarly comments because subject matter.

268
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Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like just like fuck you, you're

269
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not funny. It's it's not like, hey, you're the reason

270
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your mom killed herself. They still make me angry, but

271
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it's not that visual.

272
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Speaker 1: Yeah, but anyway, I'm so happy to see her glow up.

273
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Speaker 2: It makes me.

274
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Speaker 1: There's just like certain people when they win and they pop,

275
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I'm like fuck yes.

276
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Speaker 2: Finally, Like I remember.

277
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Speaker 1: Us driving in your beat down Toyota Corolla from Vegas

278
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:44,799
to La during the pandemic, just like talking about life.

279
00:12:44,519 --> 00:12:48,399
Speaker 3: Ship and backyard show in like Delayano.

280
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Speaker 2: Or No, that's when we did the yacht Vegas.

281
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Speaker 3: No, yeah, but I'm talking about different game. But yeah,

282
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we did Yacht Vegas and then the seventeen year old

283
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Toyota Camri Yes still got us there, and then uh

284
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backyards and like Fresno or Bakersfield or both.

285
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but honestly that backyard show was fun.

286
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Speaker 3: That it was fun, It was lit. Yeah, that was fun.

287
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,159
That was selling merch at a backyard showing the dark.

288
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Speaker 2: Drive.

289
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Speaker 3: On another note, but the physical world, the spiritual world,

290
00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:23,320
how to make it and just stay tough is just

291
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,519
put your blinders on and just keep believing in your

292
00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,080
dream and keep going. I know we just told people

293
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:33,360
to quit too, but just like you assess the situation,

294
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,000
it's like read the room, what are we doing here?

295
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,240
But on a physical, realm note, merch saved my life.

296
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:44,399
It allowed me, uh to break even and then to

297
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,720
make some money and then to just have the merch

298
00:13:47,799 --> 00:13:50,039
pays for like my homies. Now I can bring my

299
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:54,440
buddies and pay for hotels and and on that note,

300
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:58,519
if you're a performer, artist or anything in general, monetize

301
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:00,919
products like if you do, I'll sell your own nails.

302
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,240
I don't care if it's at one salon at your shop,

303
00:14:03,639 --> 00:14:06,440
it's still put money in your pocket. And you could

304
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,720
just white label it meaning by a thing and put

305
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,240
your sticker on it and add five bucks. It's still money. Yeah,

306
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,679
it's still promoting your brand. It doesn't matter if you're

307
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:20,559
into stand up or any business whatsoever. Monetize and scale.

308
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,360
I'm learning the game now. I just need to scale

309
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,440
and figure out how to make Loosey Goosey and the

310
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,639
Zoomies and Tillyes and cahoots with Vans.

311
00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:30,799
Speaker 2: And all those companies going out of business.

312
00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:32,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I.

313
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,320
Speaker 1: Under yeah, I got to figure out how to have

314
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,799
a brick and mortar crisis withy.

315
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,559
Speaker 3: And just play the game, play the rich people game.

316
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

317
00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 3: My first year off of Trader Joe's and stand up

318
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,960
comedy only first year with no nine to five job,

319
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,919
I made thirteen thousand dollars for the year. Wow, for

320
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,480
the year, y'all. In Los Angeles. I was with Sadie

321
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,759
at the time. Got back from the tax man and

322
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,519
everyone just kept saying, like the the taxman told me

323
00:15:06,559 --> 00:15:09,200
how much I made on my W nine or whatever

324
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,200
it's called. And I was like, that's it, and he

325
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,960
just went, that's it. And then I told Sadie and

326
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,679
she went, that's it. Like everyone just kept saying that's it.

327
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,360
I tried to make it into a bit and never

328
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,559
really had legs, but that was the honest to god truth.

329
00:15:22,639 --> 00:15:26,000
I said, that's it. The taxman said, that's it. Sadie

330
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,480
that's said that's it. Probably my sister, We're just like wait,

331
00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:31,320
like how, like how do you live?

332
00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:35,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the output doesn't match no, what you

333
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,919
know what I mean? You work so hard and you know, yeah,

334
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,120
it's like yeah, maybe you made a thousand more under

335
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:40,879
the counter.

336
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:43,759
Speaker 3: Getting paid cash ebto stamps.

337
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,440
Speaker 2: Yeah tough. Let's talk about aahuasca.

338
00:15:47,639 --> 00:15:53,440
Speaker 1: Oh yes, so I we did two things for each other.

339
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,679
One you're one of the first person people that told

340
00:15:55,759 --> 00:15:56,559
me to get sober.

341
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,919
Speaker 2: You're the one of the first people that told me.

342
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:03,840
Speaker 1: I remember it perfectly because I was at O'Brien's. We

343
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:06,120
were doing a show with Iris, a little Irish bar

344
00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:08,600
in Santa Monica. There was maybe twelve people in the crowd,

345
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,600
and you were there on the show, and I think

346
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,600
I was drinking. I probably was drinking and I didn't

347
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,600
have a good set and I didn't even.

348
00:16:15,519 --> 00:16:17,679
Speaker 2: Know you that well. Yeah, and you just came up

349
00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:19,879
to me and you're like, you got to quit drinking.

350
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,600
You have a problem.

351
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:20,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

352
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,559
Speaker 2: I was like, the fuck are you?

353
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:24,960
Speaker 3: I'm your friend?

354
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,879
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, But you were one of the first people

355
00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:29,440
that made me see that. And then I did get

356
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,919
sober eventually, and then in our sobriety journey, I started

357
00:16:32,919 --> 00:16:35,440
doing ayahuasca and I introduced you to the shaman.

358
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,159
Speaker 3: Thank you.

359
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:40,519
Speaker 2: And let's talk about some of those journeys you went on.

360
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:40,960
Shall we.

361
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,480
Speaker 3: Uh, Yeah, it's it's it's a must do. It's also

362
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,759
not for everybody. Yeah, you got to be in this

363
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,879
some gnarly stuff.

364
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,279
Speaker 2: Let's just yeah, you have to really be willing to

365
00:16:51,279 --> 00:16:52,480
face yourself. You have to.

366
00:16:52,519 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 1: Really be willing to maybe acknowledge some super uncomfortable shit

367
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,080
about your life.

368
00:16:57,879 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 2: That you didn't know.

369
00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:01,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is is like linking up with the Lord

370
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,440
and getting You'll get a better understanding of why everything

371
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,839
is the way it is. But that doesn't necessarily mean

372
00:17:07,839 --> 00:17:10,279
it's gonna make you happy. It might break your heart,

373
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:10,720
you know.

374
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,079
Speaker 3: All I gotta say is this sounds funny and weird,

375
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,240
but watch Dune. Watch Dune part two when they drink

376
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,720
the blue juice and they get the secret to the

377
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,200
universe and they see everything and they learn truth about

378
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,519
their family that they don't want to learn, and it

379
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,519
just goes, oh, it's I know it's a movie, but

380
00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:32,680
there's some truth in that blue syrup ayahuasca. You get

381
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:37,279
the keys to the universe or God's supercomputer, and you

382
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,759
just have access to information about you, yourself, your life,

383
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:43,799
your trauma. It'll make you understand why you are the

384
00:17:43,799 --> 00:17:45,640
way you are. And you're like, oh my god, I

385
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:52,480
was molested, you know, God, Oh my God, that makes sense.

386
00:17:53,720 --> 00:18:01,680
Oh my god, it's terrible, but I'm funny and there's that.

387
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,599
Speaker 2: But it was not for nothing.

388
00:18:06,279 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 3: You are yeah, yeah, and it's just wild ship. But

389
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,440
it sounds horrible, but you oddly are more free after

390
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:16,279
learning this information. Yeah, and you puke it out. It's

391
00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:20,079
like a uh, it's a spiritual vomit as well as

392
00:18:20,079 --> 00:18:23,359
the physical vomit, Like you puke venom that was poisoning

393
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,799
your heart, mind, body, soul, and then you on the

394
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:31,400
physical realm, you're literally vomiting getting rid of whatever poison.

395
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:34,559
Micro plastics. Yeah, it say it's a detoxifier. Now that

396
00:18:34,599 --> 00:18:38,160
it's somewhat legal and decriminalized, they're studying it and it's

397
00:18:38,279 --> 00:18:42,759
known to puke out heavy metal, our world's poison. You

398
00:18:42,759 --> 00:18:46,400
guys know this, Yeah, but puking out your little dry

399
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,640
shampoo aluminum to microplastics and your nutsack and tit milk

400
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,519
to your molestation in the spiritual realm.

401
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,319
Speaker 2: You know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing.

402
00:18:57,559 --> 00:19:03,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like, you both know, we went through some ship.

403
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,160
But I mean the thing, you know, I went in

404
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,880
to heal my mother wound, and so what I experienced

405
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,880
was my mom's life in quantum time, which included abuse

406
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:18,079
and gnarly abuse and and as horrible Charley's Yeah, I

407
00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:24,039
mean I don't Yeah, yeah, I just incredible amounts of abuse.

408
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,160
And I experienced it in a way that like when

409
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,599
I got when I finished with the medicine and I

410
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,160
finished with the journey, I had so much empathy and

411
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,160
love for my mom in a way that I never

412
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,559
could have before because I couldn't understand ever where she

413
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,720
was coming from. I couldn't understand why she acted like

414
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,240
like a straight cat, backed into a corner in every

415
00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:44,359
room she was in. But it's like, yeah, if the

416
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,559
one person that's supposed to love you and keep you

417
00:19:46,599 --> 00:19:51,200
safe abuses you, you're gonna act crazy your whole life.

418
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,680
Speaker 3: And like and then you drank the sauce.

419
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,279
Speaker 2: And not only did I see it, I felt it.

420
00:19:56,319 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 1: I experienced it, and I on a cellular level changed

421
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,039
after that, Like my relationship with myself changed, my relationship

422
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:08,920
with my mom changed. I you know, just everything changed

423
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,240
for me.

424
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 2: But I wasn't like.

425
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,279
Speaker 1: You where I was so ambitious that I was like

426
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:13,960
I can't wait to go back and do it again.

427
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I was like I need a time out,

428
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,400
and by that, I mean divorce. I had to get

429
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,640
a divorce first, and then I went back. But like

430
00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:25,480
I did, I've only done it twice. Both times have

431
00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:28,759
been profound. Although I fucked up the second time because

432
00:20:28,759 --> 00:20:30,039
I took Xanax before.

433
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,079
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'll mess with it and I it'll get

434
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,599
rid of it. Still, I mean it's still but.

435
00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:38,079
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to because of there's something chemical that

436
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,599
was so I lost like I couldn't close my hand

437
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,319
for like a week.

438
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I like lost a lot of muscle

439
00:20:44,039 --> 00:20:45,880
in my life. I fucked myself up a little bit.

440
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't take pills before I no, no, no, I

441
00:20:48,319 --> 00:20:49,119
clean vestige. Yeah.

442
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I did fuck up the second time, which

443
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,359
is why I'm scared to go back. But I know

444
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,519
that was my fault. But like anyway, all that to say,

445
00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:56,319
I know it profoundly changed you, but it took you

446
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,440
a while to get to that. Like profound change. It

447
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,359
didn't happen for no.

448
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,519
Speaker 3: That's why I kept going back. First of all, I'm

449
00:21:02,519 --> 00:21:06,319
an attic and and and you know I go in.

450
00:21:07,039 --> 00:21:10,119
But this was different, in my opinion, this is something

451
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,519
like you can't get addicted to. I was more addicted

452
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,119
to feeling better. I was like, oh shit, this shit's

453
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,759
really helping me. Let me get all this garbage out

454
00:21:19,799 --> 00:21:22,480
of me as quickly as possible. That's how I looked

455
00:21:22,519 --> 00:21:24,359
at it. It was almost like a boot camp or like

456
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:28,240
a like a let's catch up to healing, because I

457
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,880
didn't even I knew I was fucked up. I never

458
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:36,119
knew why, nor like rewind what was the question? Oh uh,

459
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:40,519
it's it's actually not. You only had two trips, But

460
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,359
in my opinion, it's not the easiest thing to connect

461
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,759
to and hop in like some people struggle with it.

462
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,039
What I'm getting at is I got better and better

463
00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:51,519
and riding the way yahuasca, I was able to go

464
00:21:51,599 --> 00:21:53,279
deeper and deeper, so I was hooked to that. I

465
00:21:53,319 --> 00:21:55,279
was like, oh, I actually kind of know what I'm

466
00:21:55,279 --> 00:21:58,200
doing now. I know how to hop in to this

467
00:21:58,599 --> 00:22:01,000
different dimension of this special magic.

468
00:22:01,039 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 1: I think I was so like blinders on, committed to

469
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,079
figuring out what the fuck happened with my life and

470
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:07,519
getting answers.

471
00:22:07,039 --> 00:22:09,079
Speaker 2: That, like you know when they tell you in the beginning.

472
00:22:08,799 --> 00:22:12,039
Speaker 1: Like channel your intuition and figure out how high of

473
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,680
a dose you want, from one to ten whatever. Eight

474
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,480
was my first one. So my first one, my very

475
00:22:17,519 --> 00:22:20,079
first dose of ayahuasca. And they do three doses in

476
00:22:20,079 --> 00:22:21,880
one night, yeah, and then two nights in a row.

477
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,519
My very first one, I did an eight, and my

478
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,279
very first one, I experienced my mom's life in quantum time.

479
00:22:27,319 --> 00:22:30,119
I experienced her abuse, I experienced her pregnancy with me,

480
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,599
and I experienced her suicide.

481
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 2: All of those things as her. I experienced that.

482
00:22:33,759 --> 00:22:36,839
Speaker 1: And then gnarly to hear the shaman's little bell like

483
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,039
ding ding ding time for dose two.

484
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, oh.

485
00:22:41,839 --> 00:22:42,759
Speaker 2: There's more.

486
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 3: I did not have that experience. My first night, I

487
00:22:46,759 --> 00:22:50,880
barely connected. It wasn't until the second night mm I connected.

488
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,920
I was like whoa, and then I went to the

489
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,880
different dimension. Yeah, and then I was hooked from there.

490
00:22:56,319 --> 00:22:59,480
But you made me take an eight my first time too,

491
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,599
because you said, don't be a pussy, go for it,

492
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,720
take a ten. I wish it took more, just and

493
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:06,359
I asked shaman for a tent and he wouldn't do it.

494
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

495
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 3: He's like, he's like, dude, it's your first time, and

496
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,400
I think I said nine, yeah, and he's like, I'm

497
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,200
gonna give you eight, broky yeah, And it was just

498
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,640
funny because I was like, I've done I smoked heroin.

499
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:16,799
Speaker 1: Bro.

500
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 2: He's like, this isn't that I handle it? Go bad?

501
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,640
Fill it up. You're like, you know what you take

502
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,799
the little you're just gone.

503
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 3: And it's completely different in h but mine was more

504
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,640
like a layer of onion. And it wasn't until like

505
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,839
the eighth or ninth time to where I learned all

506
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:39,839
this non shit.

507
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 1: Well, and I think maybe too, it's different when it's

508
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,799
your own personal experience because that's something you obviously blocked

509
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,960
out to help yourself survive, you know.

510
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 2: What I mean.

511
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,319
Speaker 1: So this for mine, it was it was my mom's experience,

512
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:52,200
which was you know.

513
00:23:52,559 --> 00:23:54,599
Speaker 3: Which still leeches in the you she made you.

514
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,759
Speaker 1: There was you know, obviously she had womb trauma because

515
00:23:57,759 --> 00:23:59,440
that's where her trauma was. And then I was in

516
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,160
her womb, and then it got transferred to me, you

517
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,240
know what I mean, Like there's.

518
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 3: You know that trauma stays in the DNA for I

519
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,839
think it's like nine to eleven generations. They did a

520
00:24:07,839 --> 00:24:11,519
study with lab mice. Yeah, and they so it's like, yeah,

521
00:24:11,599 --> 00:24:14,319
for sure it's your mom, but it could even be grandma's. Yeah,

522
00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:16,079
that's how wild this is.

523
00:24:16,519 --> 00:24:18,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then you think like eight to ten eleven

524
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,000
generations back, like where are we even the eighteen hundreds.

525
00:24:22,319 --> 00:24:25,039
Speaker 3: That's why the saying is like heal yourself, heal the world. Yeah,

526
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,119
in the spiritual realm. If you're into this stuff, you

527
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,279
healed your generational trauma and it like severs it from

528
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,000
like all generations. It's almost like all healing. No, I

529
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,200
don't know. I love that stuff.

530
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:36,839
Speaker 2: I do too.

531
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,799
Speaker 1: I feel like I was on a big healing journey

532
00:24:38,839 --> 00:24:40,559
when I got sober. I did the twelve Steps, I

533
00:24:40,599 --> 00:24:42,799
did my mns, I did Iahuascar, I did all this stuff.

534
00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:44,359
I was on a big healing journey. And then in

535
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,920
the last year, I feel like I pivoted back to vengeance.

536
00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:50,519
I know, I started getting angry again. The people started

537
00:24:50,559 --> 00:24:52,119
pissing me off where and I'm like, you know, I'm

538
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,920
not I'm gonna be like I'm gonna be peaceful. I'm

539
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,680
not gonna cause anyone. But then like people like just

540
00:24:56,759 --> 00:24:59,400
kind of like come at you about shit, and I'm like,

541
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,119
I can't be peaceful forever, Like I just like need to.

542
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,880
There is a point where like, yes, be as peaceful

543
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,599
as you possibly can, but you also have to protect

544
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,440
your own piece.

545
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 3: And you can when I say, you know what I

546
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,920
think it is, You've you've attained a level of peace

547
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,599
and these new chaos is interned before you're down here,

548
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,319
so you're matching chaoses and now they come and you're like,

549
00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:21,839
get the fuck out of here. Yeah, and it's it

550
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,880
is a protection of peace. Yeah, and it makes you feisty,

551
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,119
but you're like, I don't want to be, but it's

552
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:27,880
also a test.

553
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

554
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,039
Speaker 1: It makes me mad, and then the fact I get

555
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:32,440
mad makes me more mad. Yeah, does that make sense?

556
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,599
Speaker 3: Yes, that happens to me all the time.

557
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,799
Speaker 1: The fact that people still can dictate my spirit and

558
00:25:37,839 --> 00:25:40,680
how I feel makes me more angry because I'm like,

559
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,839
I've done so much work I know not to engage

560
00:25:42,839 --> 00:25:45,000
in this behavior. I know not to you know, start

561
00:25:45,039 --> 00:25:47,319
talking to this person, you know. I know, especially my

562
00:25:47,319 --> 00:25:49,200
mom's family. I have a very difficult time with them

563
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,160
if I try and talk to them and they're like,

564
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,279
you know, I have one specific ant who's like very

565
00:25:53,279 --> 00:25:55,440
cunty and I haven't you know, talked to any of

566
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,279
them in years. But like I get like really fired up,

567
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,440
and then I get mad that I get fired up

568
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,720
because I'm like, I feel like I did so much

569
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,799
healing and like my side of the street was clean

570
00:26:04,839 --> 00:26:06,920
and I did all this AA recovery shit, and now

571
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,440
I feel like my side of the street's kind of

572
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:08,759
a mess.

573
00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:12,079
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, You're still coming from a place even

574
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,680
though maybe we're regressing a little bit. We're in these

575
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,880
scenarios where we get angry at loved ones because it's

576
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,799
so triggering, but you're conscious of the situation and years

577
00:26:21,839 --> 00:26:24,359
ago you may not even even known. You would have

578
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,079
just had chaos and like, that's my life, you know,

579
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,359
that's me, And now you're like, now you're conscious able

580
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,519
to look at it from a third dice perspective, and

581
00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:36,920
then you're so conscious of that you get mad at

582
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,240
yourself for failing. But it didn't fail, you know. It's

583
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,160
just life. Yeah, there's no right or wrong answers. You

584
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,519
just learn and grow. That's the game. I guess it's

585
00:26:47,599 --> 00:26:50,680
easy to say once you once some ship pops up.

586
00:26:50,759 --> 00:26:52,400
Like I just yelled at my mom the other day

587
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,200
because she's talking shit, and I was like, would you

588
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,240
do that for she's an old lady. Yeah, you know,

589
00:26:56,519 --> 00:26:57,359
that's just how she is.

590
00:26:57,519 --> 00:27:01,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's it's I think parents are the most

591
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,160
challenging because you know, they know how to push your

592
00:27:04,279 --> 00:27:05,920
buttons because they installed them.

593
00:27:06,279 --> 00:27:08,799
Speaker 3: Yep, you know. So it's like it can hurt that one.

594
00:27:08,839 --> 00:27:09,319
I love it.

595
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah so I I you know, I just

596
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,319
got a call from my dad this morning.

597
00:27:15,079 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 2: Where yeah, he's just like.

598
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 1: I don't think your comedy's funny, and it was serious,

599
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,000
and it's like after he just came to my show

600
00:27:22,039 --> 00:27:24,720
in Chicago and watched me and laughed at every joke,

601
00:27:24,799 --> 00:27:26,319
he called me and said I don't think it's funny,

602
00:27:26,319 --> 00:27:27,480
and I was just like, Okay, I.

603
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,519
Speaker 3: Never said that. Whether you believe that sure or not,

604
00:27:30,599 --> 00:27:32,119
you don't need to let us know. Yeah, you don't

605
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:33,599
got to call Keep that to yourself.

606
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

607
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,599
Speaker 3: My mom's similar in stuff like that.

608
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's it's tricky because it's like I

609
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000
will talk about the family sometimes, or I'll talk about

610
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,480
things that are supposed to be private, and like the

611
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,559
Midwest has a very like keep everything looking good and

612
00:27:45,599 --> 00:27:48,240
nobody needs to know our dirty little secrets. And I'm

613
00:27:48,279 --> 00:27:50,359
the one that's like kind of screaming from the rooftops

614
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,000
like this shit is fucked up.

615
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, and let's talk about it. Yeah, you know, but

616
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:56,480
it is you know, I.

617
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 1: Know, but you know, I think it is hard because

618
00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:02,240
you do have to like there are loved ones where

619
00:28:02,279 --> 00:28:05,279
when you tell the truth, it's going to hurt them.

620
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,279
And that's tough because it's like, Okay, so you have

621
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:12,000
a giant platform. I have a medium sized platform. But like,

622
00:28:12,079 --> 00:28:14,519
when we talk about this stuff and people hear it,

623
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,200
there's thousands of listeners that feel validated and seen.

624
00:28:18,039 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 3: And heard help them and we help them.

625
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: And so my philosophy is always I'm willing to hurt

626
00:28:24,759 --> 00:28:28,440
one person's feelings to heal thousands, and if that one

627
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,480
person is a family member, then like tough shit.

628
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,079
Speaker 3: And I love that and I needed to hear that

629
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,920
because I'm in an extremely similar boat yeah, where I'm like, hey,

630
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,160
if I put you on blast, it makes me money. Yeah,

631
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,279
that's the funny point. Yeah, which is true, but uh,

632
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:48,519
it also helps people. And what the crazy part is

633
00:28:48,519 --> 00:28:51,039
is is usually if I'm talking about you and mentioning you,

634
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,799
it's out of love. Yeah, and that's you know, people

635
00:28:54,839 --> 00:28:56,039
get mad though, Yeah.

636
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: But also I mean the way you do it and

637
00:28:57,759 --> 00:28:59,720
the way I do it is always that like, yeah,

638
00:28:59,759 --> 00:29:01,680
we might be joking about someone else, but the joke

639
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:02,759
always comes back to us.

640
00:29:03,279 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: It's at the.

641
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,559
Speaker 1: Very end, the egg is on our face, you know

642
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,720
what I mean. So I'm just like, I don't understand

643
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,400
why everyone's getting so worked up. Like my dad is

644
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:11,720
talking to me about a joke this morning that I

645
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,920
put out two years ago. He just heard about it now,

646
00:29:14,279 --> 00:29:15,880
and I was like, did you listen to the end

647
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,039
of the joke where I make fun of myself for

648
00:29:18,079 --> 00:29:18,680
being a whore?

649
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:20,359
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, did

650
00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:22,079
you get there or did you just hear the one

651
00:29:22,119 --> 00:29:24,039
thing about you that you didn't like and then call

652
00:29:24,079 --> 00:29:25,079
me and fuck my dad?

653
00:29:26,359 --> 00:29:28,079
Speaker 1: But it's like, I love my dad so much, it's

654
00:29:28,119 --> 00:29:30,960
so hard to hear that from him, and it's it's hard.

655
00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:33,559
It's a hard thing where it's like, these are jokes,

656
00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:35,880
these are jokes, these are jokes.

657
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 3: It's what I do.

658
00:29:36,799 --> 00:29:38,279
Speaker 2: It's what I do, it's my whole job.

659
00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: It's you're going to be offended because we're funny, and

660
00:29:44,039 --> 00:29:50,599
we say, shit, we so funny. Yeah, jokes, and it's

661
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:51,160
so funny.

662
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:51,799
Speaker 2: It's so funny.

663
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,079
Speaker 1: And the thing is I've had and I'm sure you've

664
00:29:54,079 --> 00:29:56,359
had this too, where people come after me after my show,

665
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,799
and like, I just had a guy in Denver come

666
00:29:57,799 --> 00:30:00,279
at me after a show and he brought me two tears, like,

667
00:30:00,319 --> 00:30:04,960
you know, my sister committed suicide three years ago and

668
00:30:05,079 --> 00:30:07,279
your suicidal sympathies. I have a joke about how there

669
00:30:07,279 --> 00:30:10,079
should be cards for when people you know, commit suicide,

670
00:30:10,079 --> 00:30:13,039
and it'll say like like hang in there, like slid.

671
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 2: Happens, like whatever, that's the joke.

672
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: But the guy came up to me and he's just

673
00:30:16,519 --> 00:30:19,559
like he's like, I didn't find it.

674
00:30:19,759 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 2: You know.

675
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,599
Speaker 1: Obviously the suicide was horrific, and then I saw your

676
00:30:22,599 --> 00:30:24,640
I found your comedy and it really helped me heal

677
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,720
and it really helped me laugh for the first time.

678
00:30:26,799 --> 00:30:28,079
Speaker 2: And I and he just.

679
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,359
Speaker 1: Like gave me this like big meaningful hug, and I'm like,

680
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,759
that is worth so much more of me than the

681
00:30:32,799 --> 00:30:34,559
approval of my aunt.

682
00:30:35,319 --> 00:30:39,839
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, The amount of like for me,

683
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:44,880
tweakers I've saved, or sad sally suicidal people have affected

684
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,279
by it, or anybody. It's it's it's it's fun to

685
00:30:48,519 --> 00:30:52,119
think a silly joke can save a person's soul in

686
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,839
a quick moment, no matter how real, deep or silly

687
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,799
and it is. If you make them laugh when their

688
00:30:58,839 --> 00:31:02,559
brother just died, you, that's a good thing. Yeah, that's

689
00:31:02,599 --> 00:31:05,640
an amazing thing. Yeah, and I love it. That's why

690
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,680
I talk about sobriety a lot, even though I struggle

691
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:11,759
and I got my little mushroom tin right here, because

692
00:31:11,799 --> 00:31:15,119
it saves people. They go, like they tell you, you know.

693
00:31:15,559 --> 00:31:18,559
Speaker 1: So I think the tough thing about me talking about sobriety,

694
00:31:18,559 --> 00:31:20,400
because I've talked about it a lot too obviously, like

695
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,839
getting sober from alcohol was what needed to happen for me.

696
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,160
I was that was killing me. Alcohol, coke, molly, that

697
00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:28,000
kind of shit was killing me. I've gone back and

698
00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:30,279
forth on the naturals. I've gone back and forth on

699
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,079
you know. I call it my vegan relapse. It is

700
00:31:33,119 --> 00:31:35,920
a slippery slope because I'm an addict at the end

701
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:36,279
of the day.

702
00:31:36,319 --> 00:31:37,039
Speaker 2: So it's like if I.

703
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: Can't have a minute of my day where I'm not

704
00:31:39,039 --> 00:31:41,920
thinking about getting high, then I don't really I'm not

705
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,960
in control of my life. But I think the hard

706
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,480
thing with talking about sobriety publicly is yes, it does

707
00:31:46,519 --> 00:31:48,200
help people, and people will come to you and be like,

708
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:49,799
thank you so much. You help me get through my

709
00:31:49,839 --> 00:31:52,160
first year of dat da da whatever. But then if

710
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,400
you do slip up, or if you go backwards or

711
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,880
you're not practicing perfect sobriety, then there becomes like this weird.

712
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,759
Speaker 2: Shame of like I have attached.

713
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,559
Speaker 3: My identity part of it.

714
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I've attached my identity to this thing that

715
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,759
I no longer am. And now do I pretend that

716
00:32:07,799 --> 00:32:10,400
I'm still sober and lie to everyone? Or do I

717
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,759
be honest and let the judgment come in?

718
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,119
Speaker 2: Or how do I do it?

719
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: But I do feel like it paints us into a

720
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,400
corner because I've had friends that are, you know, super successful,

721
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,680
who have been sober for periods of time time and

722
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,039
then have significant relapses and then they lie about it

723
00:32:26,119 --> 00:32:27,039
because it's weird.

724
00:32:27,079 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 3: I always say, be honest, yeah, or I'll just say

725
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:30,400
leave me alone.

726
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:30,599
Speaker 2: Man.

727
00:32:31,039 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 3: You know what that means. It means I'm not well

728
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:33,920
leave me alone.

729
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I'm doing my best.

730
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

731
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,079
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing to keep in mind, is

732
00:32:38,079 --> 00:32:40,440
like we're all doing our best, and like whether or not,

733
00:32:40,839 --> 00:32:43,960
here's the thing. I've also seen people in practicing perfect

734
00:32:44,039 --> 00:32:47,799
sobriety be completely insane and do heinous shit. So like, yeah,

735
00:32:47,839 --> 00:32:50,640
I don't think that it's a one size fits all thing.

736
00:32:51,039 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 3: And one thing I don't love about the sobriety world

737
00:32:54,359 --> 00:32:58,440
is it's so hard line and matter of fact, and

738
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,519
which is fine in in terms of the definitions of

739
00:33:01,599 --> 00:33:05,000
true sobriety. But what I'm getting at is like, don't

740
00:33:05,039 --> 00:33:08,839
make a motherfucker feel bad he already relapsed. Just say like, hey,

741
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,160
get back up, you got this, don't make a big

742
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,640
deal of it. Start tomorrow. It's okay. Everybody fucks up.

743
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,559
When you put so much on it, it just makes

744
00:33:17,559 --> 00:33:20,319
you want to stay down there and be deviant in

745
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:21,799
whatever the box you're.

746
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,599
Speaker 1: In, because you're like, once I'm down here, yeah, I'm

747
00:33:24,599 --> 00:33:28,079
the villain now yeah. And then I also think relapses

748
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,200
we need a new word for it, because it's such

749
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,799
a strong word and it's too heavy for some of

750
00:33:33,799 --> 00:33:35,039
the stuff, you know what I mean, Like when I'm

751
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,799
smoking a little weed, I don't think I'm relapsing.

752
00:33:38,319 --> 00:33:40,799
Speaker 3: Being come on, let's be real here. I can't we can.

753
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,680
I preach about it all the time because I struggle

754
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:48,279
with that. That's my that's my fuck heroin. I can't

755
00:33:48,319 --> 00:33:52,519
get off this ship. It's just got me. But it's okay,

756
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,200
Like some Sadie told me this. She's like, your life's fine.

757
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,680
Look at you, You're fine. It's okay that this is

758
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,400
your right now. Yeah, it's getting you through it. You're

759
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:06,359
not losing your home, your kid, your career. I don't

760
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,320
love it because what you just said, it runs the

761
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,960
mind runs the hamster wheel, and it's all I obsessed about.

762
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,800
And I can't wait till the shows are over so

763
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:14,639
I can smoke weed.

764
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to talk about this thing that

765
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,000
I didn't think I wanted to talk about, but now

766
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:18,400
I want.

767
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 2: To talk about it.

768
00:34:19,119 --> 00:34:23,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, So this is like rock bottom behavior

769
00:34:23,159 --> 00:34:25,360
and this is a scared straight moment for me. But

770
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,440
like I've been smoking weed for a couple months longer

771
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,199
than I don't know, I've been smoking weed for a while.

772
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 2: It happens, and it happens to the best, even the

773
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,840
best fall down. So it's keeping you.

774
00:34:34,039 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 3: At my point, like if we keeping you from cocaine

775
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,280
and pills in alcohol, you smoke that shit if you

776
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:41,880
have totally.

777
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: But I don't think without weed that I'm going back

778
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:45,639
to those things, do you know what I mean?

779
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 2: Like, I don't think.

780
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 1: I don't think it's one or the other I don't

781
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,480
think if it's there's no weed, I'm gonna be fucking smoking,

782
00:34:50,559 --> 00:34:53,239
you know, smoking crack or whatever. I think what happened

783
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,880
is I let it get away from me like it

784
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,760
does sometimes where I'm like, I'm in control.

785
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:59,159
Speaker 2: I'm in control. I'm in control.

786
00:34:59,199 --> 00:35:01,599
Speaker 1: And then I did something without even fucking realizing I

787
00:35:01,599 --> 00:35:01,880
did it.

788
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 2: I knew what I was intending to do.

789
00:35:03,639 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: I went in the airplane bathroom and I took a

790
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,480
hit of my weed, babe, and I took way too

791
00:35:07,519 --> 00:35:10,039
big of a hit, and I honestly forgot what I

792
00:35:10,079 --> 00:35:11,480
was doing in there, and it was in my mouth

793
00:35:11,519 --> 00:35:12,880
and I was just inhaling, and I was like, oh,

794
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,199
fuck it, I like blew down, but it went up,

795
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:20,000
and then fucking four flight attendants outside, and I was like, oh,

796
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,920
I'm gonna get arrested.

797
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,559
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get fucking arrested.

798
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,559
Speaker 1: And this is why we can't have nice things. This

799
00:35:25,599 --> 00:35:28,320
is why I can't convince myself that it's not a problem.

800
00:35:28,559 --> 00:35:30,519
Am I saying like from here on out, I'm not

801
00:35:30,559 --> 00:35:34,199
gonna ever smoke again. No I'm not because no, no,

802
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,440
not right now. No. It's since that moment I have

803
00:35:37,519 --> 00:35:39,239
not smoked because I was like, what is this? What

804
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,880
is this going to turn into? Like how fucking embarrassing

805
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,039
is this that? Like, I'm going to get arrested on an.

806
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 3: Airplane, jeopardize your flight, your career.

807
00:35:47,519 --> 00:35:50,679
Speaker 2: My flight, my career, my financial situation. What Am I

808
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:51,960
going to go back to court for.

809
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: Being a felon because it's a felony to smoke on

810
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:55,840
an airplane?

811
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:56,280
Speaker 3: Is it?

812
00:35:56,360 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: I think? So, yeah, it's a felony to smoke. Back

813
00:36:00,519 --> 00:36:02,400
to what I was saying, we should all just relax

814
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:03,079
a little bit on that.

815
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: It's a fucking feling like, so I have to think

816
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,880
about it, like am I in control here?

817
00:36:08,559 --> 00:36:08,639
Speaker 2: No?

818
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 3: Yeah?

819
00:36:09,559 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 2: No? And that's like that's I get to this point.

820
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: Every time with weed, for the first six to nine months,

821
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,880
I'll do it every other day, I'll do it twice

822
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,679
a week, I'll do it just a little bit, and

823
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,360
then it goes doop doop doop until it's every day.

824
00:36:21,519 --> 00:36:23,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then every day turns.

825
00:36:23,199 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: Into me putting myself into a situation that's dangerous and

826
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,599
I'm like, how do I how how am I the

827
00:36:27,599 --> 00:36:29,360
only person who makes weed a hard drug?

828
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,599
Speaker 2: Yeah? But I'm just like it's so frustrating because I

829
00:36:34,639 --> 00:36:37,119
think as addicts, we talk ourselves into beliefs.

830
00:36:37,159 --> 00:36:40,199
Speaker 3: So the beginning, you know it is right because I'll

831
00:36:40,199 --> 00:36:42,559
do little resets too, and I'll quit and I'll fight

832
00:36:42,639 --> 00:36:45,199
my little demon, that bay, and I'm I get back.

833
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,840
I'll quit for a month or two, and then I'll

834
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,800
do like a low milligram edible and I've never been

835
00:36:51,079 --> 00:36:55,199
happier in my life. And then I get hooked.

836
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:58,119
Speaker 2: To that every time, and then the low mill no.

837
00:36:58,199 --> 00:37:02,039
Speaker 3: And then I'm on the fifty milligrams within a week,

838
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,000
and then I wake up with weed headaches. I'm like,

839
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,840
how did we get here?

840
00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:05,679
Speaker 2: How did we get here?

841
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:07,559
Speaker 3: I started off with two point five milligrams?

842
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 2: Two point five milligrams every time?

843
00:37:11,039 --> 00:37:14,199
Speaker 3: The fuck every time? Every time?

844
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: I know this is just too drug addicts really talking

845
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:17,639
about not being able to get it.

846
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,199
Speaker 3: My head is still yeah. I still say, Okay, it's

847
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,800
not booze. I'm not jumping off roofs, I'm not chasing

848
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,519
getting chased by police, right.

849
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 2: But it is something. It's something to look at.

850
00:37:28,639 --> 00:37:31,639
Speaker 1: And when I had the flight attendant are also, I

851
00:37:31,679 --> 00:37:33,559
wonder what the statute of limitations is on that.

852
00:37:33,559 --> 00:37:34,559
Speaker 2: If I'm going to get like, I know.

853
00:37:34,599 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 3: I wanted to say that allegedly alleged fiction.

854
00:37:38,159 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 2: This is a fake story.

855
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 1: Nothing happens about a time that I didn't PaperWorks smoke

856
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:43,719
on an airplane.

857
00:37:44,199 --> 00:37:46,039
Speaker 2: But no, it just was one of those moments where

858
00:37:46,039 --> 00:37:47,800
I was like, Damn, you're a fucking idiot. You are

859
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,159
a degenerate moron.

860
00:37:49,559 --> 00:37:51,639
Speaker 1: And this is why, like, no matter how much I

861
00:37:51,679 --> 00:37:54,679
talk myself into sobriety's not a one size fits all thing,

862
00:37:55,079 --> 00:37:56,840
I always get back to this point where I'm like,

863
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,920
I have now painted myself into a corner. I really

864
00:38:00,079 --> 00:38:02,000
have to look at this again. And I really didn't

865
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000
want to because I was really enjoying just getting high

866
00:38:04,039 --> 00:38:04,719
with my boyfriend.

867
00:38:05,079 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 3: Let's just go do ayahuasca. Ayahuasca, Mama, ayahuasca. No, I

868
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,480
don't know the answers. That's why I always seek plant

869
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,599
medicine to get rid of my demons in my fucking where.

870
00:38:16,119 --> 00:38:18,320
I make jokes, but I really believe it's in your stomach, liver,

871
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,000
and bootyhole. That's why I feel it on ayahuasca, your bootyhole,

872
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:29,400
your trauma. Oh yeah, well for you right here.

873
00:38:30,199 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 2: Was the was the belly button when he was missing?

874
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably he was off.

875
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 2: He was off because he was.

876
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,599
Speaker 3: But they there's some Uh I don't quote me on this.

877
00:38:40,639 --> 00:38:43,119
I believe there's some actual science that trauma stored in here.

878
00:38:43,199 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I believe that.

879
00:38:45,039 --> 00:38:48,199
Speaker 3: And gut biome and your gut is your second brain.

880
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:52,639
They say your gut has almost as much ship as

881
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,519
this and we don't focus on it at all. And uh,

882
00:38:56,559 --> 00:38:57,400
it's well.

883
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,559
Speaker 1: We barely just started focusing on your brain. Like people

884
00:38:59,599 --> 00:39:02,280
are barely even acknowledging that mental illness is real.

885
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, we focus nothing on our on our mental state.

886
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,119
Clearly our country shows.

887
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, it's a mess.

888
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,079
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to Ayahuasca. I met a guy down

889
00:39:12,119 --> 00:39:14,280
in Florida. I don't know when it is my schedules.

890
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:15,199
Speaker 2: We're in Florida.

891
00:39:15,559 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 3: I think a little island right off some beautiful resort.

892
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 2: I gotta hit him up Palm Beach where I'm moving to.

893
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 3: I think. So that's why I'm bringing it up. I

894
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,320
gotta hit him to get off.

895
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,800
Speaker 1: That's our rise to do it. Yeah, because I'm on

896
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,000
like super right now. Because mama needed a little something.

897
00:39:33,639 --> 00:39:34,920
The little something's going to be.

898
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:40,199
Speaker 3: Handcuffed like well, that's also why I know I need something.

899
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,760
And I hate pills so much, so so heavily addicted

900
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,960
them for so long that I self medicate with microdosi,

901
00:39:48,039 --> 00:39:51,119
mushrooms and weed. And no, this isn't a perfect solution,

902
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:59,400
but that's like my uh bootleg to fix my system

903
00:40:00,039 --> 00:40:06,440
without popping pills and going to darker behaviors. Yeah, just addiction. Shit.

904
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your relationship like now? With your anger?

905
00:40:11,599 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 3: It's a million times better. But I'm still working on it,

906
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,320
of course. But I've I've gone leaps and bounds since

907
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,119
my past. Yeah, and I'm working with therapists. I'm hitten

908
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,440
with everything hypno therapy, therapists, ayahuasca when I can. It's

909
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:30,719
been a hot minute though. I've just been touring NonStop microdose,

910
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,000
mushroom and saunas. That helps even me out. I probably

911
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,960
abuse the microdose, but I'm okay with that one. It's

912
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,159
the weed, the weed, I know, I abuse, like yeah,

913
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,760
where it's like my happiness.

914
00:40:45,159 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and then you shout at the end of

915
00:40:47,519 --> 00:40:48,039
the day.

916
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,599
Speaker 3: I know. But the but thing that bugs me is

917
00:40:49,639 --> 00:40:52,320
you should depend on nothing for your genuine happiness, right,

918
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,360
And that's the That's my only beef with weed. It

919
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,719
is a plant that grows naturally on this earth that

920
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,000
can help you, But what is your relationship with it?

921
00:41:01,039 --> 00:41:03,039
Does it run the show? And it has always ran

922
00:41:03,119 --> 00:41:06,599
my show? Maybe I'll run the show for what you

923
00:41:06,679 --> 00:41:10,760
just said three weeks and then it's gone to one

924
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,199
week to a month, and then I'm like it runs me.

925
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 2: Now, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's back.

926
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,599
Speaker 1: I think the thing about happiness, genuine happiness, right, and

927
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,280
that I think that's also kind of not a real thing,

928
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,599
Like there's just like happiness.

929
00:41:22,119 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 2: Is Are you happy? Am I happy? Most days? I'm

930
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,519
at peace. I would be like I'm happy.

931
00:41:27,599 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 1: I'm not like jumping for joy, but I'm like mostly

932
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,559
at peace. And I think when the happiness comes from

933
00:41:32,559 --> 00:41:35,239
outside of you, then it's not actually within you. Yeah,

934
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,360
you know, unfortunately I know.

935
00:41:39,639 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 2: And then when you need more and more and more,

936
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:48,280
like fuck anyway, I'm I'm in a tone.

937
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go puke and a bucket in Florida off

938
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,320
some island.

939
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: It's literally where I'm moving to.

940
00:41:54,119 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, do you want to talk about that here

941
00:41:56,519 --> 00:41:57,280
or after.

942
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 2: We can talk about it.

943
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 3: We can talk about pal Why are you moving? Is

944
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:00,639
from there?

945
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: So he's from New York.

946
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,199
Speaker 1: Originally we call him mister Manhattan. Nice because I'm not

947
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,599
telling anyone his name. Yeah, because he doesn't need that smoke.

948
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,800
I posted so he's opening a bagel shop down there,

949
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,199
and I posted it and like a bunch of people

950
00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,000
tried to follow him afterwards, and I was like, leave

951
00:42:16,079 --> 00:42:17,199
him alone.

952
00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 2: Leave his leave his ass alone.

953
00:42:19,639 --> 00:42:21,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm moving because I was going to move to

954
00:42:21,559 --> 00:42:23,840
New York originally because that's where he's from. But he's

955
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,599
moving to go do this bagel shop, and I don't

956
00:42:27,639 --> 00:42:28,440
need to be in La.

957
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

958
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:30,679
Speaker 2: I'm not passed.

959
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: At the store. The improvent passed up, but they don't

960
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,079
book me. I don't really work that much here. I

961
00:42:35,159 --> 00:42:36,679
work on the road most of the time.

962
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,639
Speaker 3: And what about your podcasts, Yeah, well we'll see you.

963
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,039
Yeah solo.

964
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: I'll do solo episodes and then I'll probably fly up

965
00:42:44,519 --> 00:42:47,320
to New York to bank some New York comics because

966
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,519
that's like an hour and a half flight.

967
00:42:48,639 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 3: That's nothing. Yeah, that's all you have to do. You

968
00:42:51,079 --> 00:42:53,639
just have to work in New York for a few days. Yeah,

969
00:42:53,679 --> 00:42:56,159
which is awesome. Yeah, you would kill it in New

970
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:56,639
York too.

971
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:57,119
Speaker 2: I know.

972
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,519
Speaker 1: I was getting really excited about the idea of moving

973
00:42:59,519 --> 00:43:01,960
to New York, but then the reality became like he

974
00:43:02,039 --> 00:43:03,440
was never going to be there, So he's like, why

975
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:04,440
would I split a place.

976
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: With you there when I'm going to be here full time?

977
00:43:06,039 --> 00:43:09,280
Speaker 1: So yeah, so we ended up compromising in that, Like

978
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,920
he didn't compromise at all, and I'm just living to Yeah.

979
00:43:12,119 --> 00:43:13,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, love is Love is the mother.

980
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 2: Love is the mother, you know what. It's the best.

981
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,519
Speaker 1: And he like, I just think, if you have the

982
00:43:19,599 --> 00:43:21,239
chance of joy, you have to change, you have to

983
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,559
chom just like there's nothing better than being in love.

984
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 3: There's so many times I'm like, we're going to crash

985
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,280
and I go, well, well.

986
00:43:27,559 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 2: Go heve you.

987
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I mean we'll see. I'm I am genuinely

988
00:43:35,199 --> 00:43:37,440
excited about him. He's the first person I've dated seriously

989
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:38,320
since my divorce.

990
00:43:38,559 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 2: And it didn't I didn't mean to.

991
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: I went on hinge when I was in New York

992
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,719
doing shows after my old podcast ended. I was just

993
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:47,719
trying to fuck a young guy and that has fucking

994
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,519
changed my age down to twenty five.

995
00:43:49,599 --> 00:43:50,519
Speaker 2: And then I matched with him.

996
00:43:50,559 --> 00:43:52,639
Speaker 1: He's twenty seven, and we both were just trying to

997
00:43:52,679 --> 00:43:54,199
have fun and then we fill in love with each other.

998
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 3: Happens, that's when it happens.

999
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,079
Speaker 2: I know every time schmucks.

1000
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's okay, that's awesome. It's right the way, it's

1001
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:01,679
the best.

1002
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 2: Are you in love?

1003
00:44:03,199 --> 00:44:06,119
Speaker 3: Well I just got out of one. Yeah I was

1004
00:44:06,159 --> 00:44:07,880
in love. Yeah, I just didn't work out.

1005
00:44:08,119 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that. That's sad.

1006
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:15,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm back out there. I played for Rayah. I've

1007
00:44:15,599 --> 00:44:18,920
never done it. I don't think i'll last. I can't

1008
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,679
have the attention.

1009
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 2: Span you got DMS, babe.

1010
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:27,639
Speaker 3: I know I've never done dating apps. I've done it

1011
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:32,360
like it's I'm an old man. Yeah, hand in the person.

1012
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you got to catch him in the flesh.

1013
00:44:34,159 --> 00:44:36,320
You're like, you see my schedule, Come fine me after

1014
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:36,679
a show?

1015
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 3: This too hard?

1016
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,639
Speaker 2: Do you still do meet and greets after shows?

1017
00:44:39,679 --> 00:44:42,320
Speaker 3: And oh hell yeah, I'm just slaying my merch.

1018
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 2: Okay, good, Yeah, you're not too big time for that yet.

1019
00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:49,519
Speaker 3: No, it's getting overwhelming and exhausting. It's pretty crazy. But

1020
00:44:49,559 --> 00:44:53,400
it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Yeah. But yeah sometimes that

1021
00:44:53,679 --> 00:44:55,440
line is like forty five minutes long, and I have

1022
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:56,440
another show afterwards.

1023
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:57,280
Speaker 2: Oh that's tough.

1024
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,679
Speaker 3: So you're just like whoa. But it's good, it's good.

1025
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,480
I'll be there I can't be there. Yeah, how I

1026
00:45:03,519 --> 00:45:07,840
need fucking security. I'll be there, actually already need security.

1027
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,920
Someone molested me in Australia. It's so funny. Two back

1028
00:45:11,599 --> 00:45:16,159
to two, back to back of booty grabs in Australia.

1029
00:45:16,199 --> 00:45:17,800
I'm like, what the fuck.

1030
00:45:17,599 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: From men or women?

1031
00:45:18,639 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 3: Men? Oh? Yeah, with.

1032
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 2: You know how they get down in Australia. Yeah, it's

1033
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,079
it's an open door policy. I don't know how to

1034
00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:29,079
do an Australian access.

1035
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 3: It was it was cool. I mean it was not

1036
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,639
cool because I pushed their face and everyone was like,

1037
00:45:33,679 --> 00:45:35,719
what the fuck's happening. I'm like, he grabbed my ass

1038
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:41,840
and it was that's funny. Imagine I can't wait to

1039
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,159
get a fund of the crack. You see him to

1040
00:45:43,159 --> 00:45:47,000
school like, and then the security came, yeah you.

1041
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,519
Speaker 2: Shopped them, Like, get the funk out of here. You

1042
00:45:49,559 --> 00:45:50,039
can't do that.

1043
00:45:50,119 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 1: I mean Swift sued that guy for grabbing her ass,

1044
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:57,119
remember them, Yeah, that like radio personality grabbed her ass

1045
00:45:57,119 --> 00:45:59,840
and she took him to court and good one. And

1046
00:46:00,079 --> 00:46:01,880
all she wanted was a dollar. She just wanted to

1047
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,800
prove the point that, like, you can't fuck with me.

1048
00:46:04,079 --> 00:46:05,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have took more and give it a

1049
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:09,159
women's charities. Yeah, well, give it to the Epstein's List.

1050
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, sorry, no, no, it's it's just like I can't.

1051
00:46:13,159 --> 00:46:14,800
I'm like, I didn't think that was going to be

1052
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,119
the whole year, you know. I thought it was going

1053
00:46:17,199 --> 00:46:19,519
to be like, all right, here's some pedophiles and we're done.

1054
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:21,679
It's I didn't think it would be still going in December.

1055
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 3: Crazy.

1056
00:46:22,039 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: I mean, did he die a year and a half ago. Yeah,

1057
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,800
it's just like the world's run by demons.

1058
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're ran by a pedophile cult that loves killing everybody.

1059
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really dark. I get.

1060
00:46:32,679 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: I feel like podcasting and our access to all this

1061
00:46:35,039 --> 00:46:38,519
information is kind of not great. I kind of liked

1062
00:46:38,559 --> 00:46:39,920
a little more when I was in the dark and

1063
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,039
I didn't know what the fuck was going on.

1064
00:46:41,119 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 2: I thought Bill Clinton was cool. I mean I was like, yeah,

1065
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,679
it's getting the economy's great.

1066
00:46:46,119 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, my children and the president what the fuck?

1067
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,559
Speaker 2: Like I was like, women, yeah, yeah, and then you're like,

1068
00:46:52,639 --> 00:46:58,079
oh no, what's happening? Yeah it so they're all rapid. God.

1069
00:46:58,519 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't really ever think any one would

1070
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,840
make Bush look like a saint.

1071
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, the fu well we know his dad y he

1072
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:17,320
could dodge a shoot though. That's a fun video. Yea. Somehow,

1073
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,400
how is he the least of all the time?

1074
00:47:19,519 --> 00:47:21,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, how does that happen? Yeah? I don't know.

1075
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 3: I didn't know about Obama bombing Yemen and Libya either

1076
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,719
until like seven to eight years after the fact. And

1077
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,039
you're just like, wait a minute, I thought you did

1078
00:47:32,079 --> 00:47:32,679
the good guy.

1079
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I voted for you.

1080
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 3: We killed all those brown people. Huh, all right, seem strange.

1081
00:47:38,639 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 2: First black president.

1082
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 3: Cool Libya. Yeah, one of the largest economies announced the

1083
00:47:45,039 --> 00:47:48,880
number one producer of slaved and human trafficking and ship. Yeah,

1084
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,519
it's gnarly. Don't study history, folks, don't.

1085
00:47:51,639 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 2: It's it's easier if you don't pay attention.

1086
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:57,159
Speaker 3: Your heroes become villains. And you're like, yeah, yeah.

1087
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 2: You get a little too close.

1088
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 1: And yeah, but we got so yeah.

1089
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 3: We got selfies for the GRAM, got new jacket vans.

1090
00:48:06,119 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 2: He looks great. I'm obsessed. You look great. I'm so

1091
00:48:10,039 --> 00:48:12,039
happy to see you so happy and thriving.

1092
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:12,639
Speaker 3: Love.

1093
00:48:13,039 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1094
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:18,159
Speaker 3: I was about to say happy, Well, we're thriving. You're thriving,

1095
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,599
but there is no happiness. The best thing is just

1096
00:48:20,639 --> 00:48:23,679
being stoicism, being okay with the bad and the good

1097
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,360
and not being attached to anything too much because that's

1098
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:30,079
where unhappiness comes from. And riding the wave and good

1099
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:37,480
luck and good luck luck, good luck gummies, stay hold

1100
00:48:37,559 --> 00:48:39,159
the line. That's how I feel.

1101
00:48:39,519 --> 00:48:45,079
Speaker 1: Just say, oh my god, tell everyone where they can

1102
00:48:45,079 --> 00:48:49,239
follow you, Craigconate dot com, Craig Peakcone on all social medias.

1103
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:53,039
Speaker 3: Don't fall for scammers now that I uh I popped.

1104
00:48:53,119 --> 00:48:56,119
There's a lot of scammers. There's a lot of scammers.

1105
00:48:56,159 --> 00:48:59,000
It's crazy. This lady, this is kind of funny, quick story.

1106
00:48:59,039 --> 00:49:01,199
This lady said, hey, am I talking to you on

1107
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,599
what's up? Do you need help from your divorce with

1108
00:49:03,639 --> 00:49:05,360
your wife and she taking all your money?

1109
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 1: And that's the fact you just called it what's up?

1110
00:49:09,039 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 3: My bad? I'm like, no, I don't. I don't even

1111
00:49:11,519 --> 00:49:13,679
know what it's called. I don't have. What's that I

1112
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,360
actually do is for communicating with my cousins in Mexico,

1113
00:49:17,639 --> 00:49:18,840
but I don't use it.

1114
00:49:19,159 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 2: They call it k pasa.

1115
00:49:22,639 --> 00:49:26,639
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, fucking yeah. And I was like, no, like

1116
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,400
they just after your bank account, your money. I don't.

1117
00:49:29,599 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy, it's crazy.

1118
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 3: They're getting good they disguised himself as my podcast producer

1119
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:39,159
and changed the EMAO by like one degree, and I'm like,

1120
00:49:39,159 --> 00:49:41,280
did you emo me this link? He's like no, and

1121
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,079
I'm like, what the fuck is going on? They're getting

1122
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:46,960
don't click? No links, y'all, no links. I'm never gonna

1123
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,360
d M you asking you for money. Maybe did pis?

1124
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:55,639
Speaker 2: Maybe a G string not a G.

1125
00:49:56,039 --> 00:49:59,119
Speaker 3: You don't need a string, not a G. Not my style.

1126
00:50:00,199 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 2: I love you so much.

1127
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,679
Speaker 3: I love you not mustday.

1128
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: Not must day.

1129
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 1: M m hm