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<v Speaker 1>Adventist Radio London. Inspiration for the song.

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<v Speaker 2>Discussion as always with me is Angela. I was about

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<v Speaker 2>to say Pedro, but Pedro's just stuck out, so with

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<v Speaker 2>me and Pedro's got some business to take care of,

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<v Speaker 2>is Angela. Thank you so much Angela for staying and

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to know how you're weak has been and

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<v Speaker 2>say hello to the folk.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, good evening and welcome to Talking Points. Yeah, it's

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<v Speaker 1>been it's been a busy week. I think this is

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<v Speaker 1>like it feels like the story of my life, constantly

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<v Speaker 1>busy and been feeling really quite tired actually, but I

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<v Speaker 1>think maybe it's just quite Maybe it's just the weather

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<v Speaker 1>as well. We've had a lot of rain this week

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<v Speaker 1>and a bit on and off I think as well.

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<v Speaker 1>There's been this been a few kind of days of sunshine,

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<v Speaker 1>which kind of thinks, oh, actually, maybe it's not quite

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<v Speaker 1>so bad after all, and then suddenly there's like a downpour.

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<v Speaker 1>So I've been caught and caught out a couple of times,

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<v Speaker 1>even though I am want to carry all my bits

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<v Speaker 1>and pieces of my umbrella and everything.

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<v Speaker 2>But I was just gonna say, I mean, you're you're

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<v Speaker 2>my desert Island person.

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<v Speaker 1>Really but you know what kind of there was, like

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<v Speaker 1>it comes it almost takes you really by surprise, before

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<v Speaker 1>you before you know it, before you've even got your

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<v Speaker 1>umbrella up. You know, you're kind of staking way. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but yeah, but apart from you know, so it's been

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<v Speaker 1>a busy week, but a good week, I guess. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we're glad it's kind of come to the end and

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<v Speaker 1>the weekend again, you know, I know we say this

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<v Speaker 1>most weeks. I feel really shocked that this year has

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<v Speaker 1>flown past. And in my mind I'm thinking, we're at

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the year, almost at the end of

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<v Speaker 1>the year already, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And we are, we are almost. It's I mean, when

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<v Speaker 2>I start counting down to Christmas, people scream at me, well,

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<v Speaker 2>we really are on the countdown, Yah, Christmas, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know to twenty twenty five. Who I mean, honestly, God's willing.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course, we don't want to take anything for granted,

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<v Speaker 2>but my goodness, the year has flown and yeah, we're

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<v Speaker 2>about to discuss twenty twenty five, believe it.

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<v Speaker 1>Or not, which is which is Yeah, it's wild, but

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<v Speaker 1>you know, another week has passed. Thankful to have made

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<v Speaker 1>it through safely and here we are another week, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>looking forward to today's conversation. Yeah as always, as always.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we time to have some very deep and meaningful

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<v Speaker 2>discussions here and talking point. And I mean, I know

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<v Speaker 2>we've had feedback from our listeners of the same. They've

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<v Speaker 2>really garnered a lot from the programs, and I hope

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<v Speaker 2>that we can continue in that same vein as we

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<v Speaker 2>continue to plan and put programs together. But yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>think maybe it's for doing weekly programs and monthly programs

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<v Speaker 2>that it just does feel that the time flies. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>here we are on the cusp of another year. To

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<v Speaker 2>be honest, but my week has been good. I've got

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<v Speaker 2>a slight headache, and I think that's maybe I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>drinking enough water. Some days better than others. But thankful

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<v Speaker 2>for or another week, and thankful for his blessings, his showers,

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<v Speaker 2>even you know, the sunshine. It's been a mixed bag

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<v Speaker 2>really throughout summer, if you want to call it that.

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<v Speaker 3>And.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's it's continuing throughout the next on this new season.

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<v Speaker 2>Just mixed bag of sunshine and rain and cold and

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<v Speaker 2>mild weather, and it's difficult to dress for it. And

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<v Speaker 2>obviously people are coming down with colds and flus at

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<v Speaker 2>this time of year, so just be vigilant, vitamins and

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<v Speaker 2>all that good stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say another, I was gonna say outbreak,

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<v Speaker 1>whether that's not the right word went I went past

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<v Speaker 1>as that. But COVID is making a bit of a

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<v Speaker 1>resurgence to gain with another strain. Quite a few people

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<v Speaker 1>then recently have actually you know, got COVID again testing again.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, oh, here we are. So I think, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the idea of wearing a face mask will be maybe

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<v Speaker 1>something I'm going to probably start doing as well. Kind

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<v Speaker 1>of back on public transport again coming into London and

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<v Speaker 1>just yeah, everybody's people. People go to be coughing and

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<v Speaker 1>spluttering around you. So and I think the.

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<v Speaker 2>Things that we did, maybe not in the height of

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<v Speaker 2>the pandemic, but the things that we do to keep

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<v Speaker 2>you know, keep well, we should continue to do, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>be mindful with your coughing and sneezing, covering and washing

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<v Speaker 2>or that others should never really go out the window

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<v Speaker 2>and we shouldn't become complacent at all. So yeah, we

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<v Speaker 2>do need to take care of ourselves and be mindful

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<v Speaker 2>of others. Absolutely absolutely well. Waiting patiently as always in

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<v Speaker 2>the wings is our no stranger to Talking Point, author, speaker, psychotherapist,

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<v Speaker 2>and honorary Talking Point member. And I like to throw

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<v Speaker 2>that in there. And then she's accepted the cap or not,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure, but she rears it well and it's

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<v Speaker 2>a pleasure to have you. Thank you for accepting our invitation, Allison,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're back with us to talk bringing down strongholds

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<v Speaker 2>with concluding the conversations that we started, believe it or not,

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<v Speaker 2>at the beginning of the year. And we've run through

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<v Speaker 2>a number of topics for persons who have missed them.

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<v Speaker 2>You've missed something, go find them on speaker dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>You can find those and a library of our recorded programs.

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<v Speaker 2>But Allison, thank you for joining us. How are you doing,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing I'm doing good. Thank you, Senia, Thank you

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<v Speaker 2>Angela for having me back. It's good to be back.

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<v Speaker 2>I love our discussions. I love how stimulating they are.

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<v Speaker 2>So hopefully today promises to be another enjoyable, stimulating conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>Good to be back. Thank you, Thank you for coming,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for accepting our invitation. As always right, So

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<v Speaker 2>let's pray and then we'll come back and we'll sort

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<v Speaker 2>of tie everything together and launch into our conversation. Definitely, Father,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for another week, thank you for another sabbath,

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for all that you've done. We are grateful

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<v Speaker 2>for your mercies that are renewed every morning.

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<v Speaker 1>Lord.

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<v Speaker 2>As we are about to launch into another deep and

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<v Speaker 2>possibly triggering conversation, we want to ask that your Holy

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<v Speaker 2>spirit rain completely and you take charge in Jesus' name.

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<v Speaker 2>Amen and Amen Amen.

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<v Speaker 3>Amen.

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<v Speaker 2>Gee, you reminded me we did this offline, but you've

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<v Speaker 2>reminded me that there's a lot of interesting days coming up.

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<v Speaker 2>Or we've had mental health. We're in a stay ten

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<v Speaker 2>ten and obviously it's Black History Months, and so we're

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<v Speaker 2>talking mental health, we're talking black history. We're talking it

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<v Speaker 2>all really and trying to tie in our conversation tonight.

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<v Speaker 2>The theme for Black History Month is reclaiming your Narrative.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we'reclaiming narratives. So really it's about I guess that's

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<v Speaker 1>to do with recognizing and correcting the stories of our

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<v Speaker 1>black history and our culture. I mean, there's so much

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<v Speaker 1>within that, and I've been seeing some quite interesting takes

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<v Speaker 1>on that and some interesting, you know, events that are happening.

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<v Speaker 1>But I guess sometimes you know, we're told different stories,

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<v Speaker 1>or our stories I feel like been eradicated or told

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<v Speaker 1>in a very different ways. Sometimes, you know, people aren't

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<v Speaker 1>necessarily knowing their true history or their true selves or

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<v Speaker 1>what have you, and you know, they're not being taught that.

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<v Speaker 1>And I kind of sometimes think the generations that are

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<v Speaker 1>coming and maybe seeing things less and less, they're understanding

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<v Speaker 1>things less and less. You know, the stories aren't being told,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it's really important that we do highlight

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<v Speaker 1>those stories, highlight those people, highlight those pioneers, highlight those heroes,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, from the times past right up to the present,

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<v Speaker 1>future and the future going forward, so that actually we

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<v Speaker 1>can really recognize our and be proud of our culture

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<v Speaker 1>and our heritage and those people have walked towards us,

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<v Speaker 1>which I think what bring is quite nice into our

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<v Speaker 1>topic as well today because we're talking about dealing with rejection,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think rejection can come in so many different

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<v Speaker 1>ways that sometimes actually does change the narratives of our

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<v Speaker 1>story and our history, whether that's for ourselves or as

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<v Speaker 1>a kind of you know, from a cultural perspective, we

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<v Speaker 1>recognize our places within society and how people are viewed

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<v Speaker 1>in different ways, so I think that will tie quite nice.

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<v Speaker 1>And so the idea of claiming your self and your

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<v Speaker 1>story and your history is a really important one. And similarly,

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<v Speaker 1>it's was World Mental Health Day this week as well,

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<v Speaker 1>and interestingly they the thing for this year celebrates on

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<v Speaker 1>every year the tenth of October is actually to highlight

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<v Speaker 1>the importance of addressing mental health with your workplace. And

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<v Speaker 1>obviously that you know, again for most of us we

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<v Speaker 1>are working, and most of us we are relating to people.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's good, you know, so dealing with your

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<v Speaker 1>mental health is an important thing because if things are

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<v Speaker 1>not great within the workplace, that has actually have a

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<v Speaker 1>really big impact on your mental health. And I guess

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<v Speaker 1>linking in you as yourself for some so many people,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, they work as a means to an end.

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<v Speaker 1>So to try to have kind of a positive environment

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<v Speaker 1>that they work in, a positive experience with their work

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<v Speaker 1>is really important. But again, the challenges that they may

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<v Speaker 1>be facing could be because they may feel rejected in

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<v Speaker 1>their workplaces. They may feel rejected as people, they're not

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<v Speaker 1>able to bring their authentic selves to their situation. And also,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm saying that people going into work, our

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<v Speaker 1>workplaces have become our homes have become our workplace as well,

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<v Speaker 1>So again how we position ourselves within our homes and

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<v Speaker 1>how we can kind of balance everything is really important

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<v Speaker 1>as well. So yeah, we love to speak about mental

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<v Speaker 1>health on this program. It's definitely, you know, something that

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<v Speaker 1>we want to highlight consistently and constantly. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the rais of the importance of having conversations and not

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<v Speaker 1>being afraid of dealing with and speaking about mental health difficulties.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, throughout this series that we've done with Alison,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, there's so many barriers, the strongholds that have

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<v Speaker 1>kind of hinder us and you know, stop us sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>from you know, having full productive lives. You know, again

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<v Speaker 1>different there's different angles and different perspectives on it. Ultimately,

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<v Speaker 1>and by God's grace and with his help and recognizing

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<v Speaker 1>who we are in God's eyes as well, can help

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<v Speaker 1>us with that. So yeah, there's a kind of LinkedIn

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<v Speaker 1>quite nicely in some ways. You know, it's funny actually

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<v Speaker 1>because sometimes you know, some of these things you forget

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes how much is intertwined with each other. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>we are who we are as people wantously it's Black

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<v Speaker 1>History Month, and you know what that spans and what

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<v Speaker 1>that represents our mental health. It's all linked in. Everything

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<v Speaker 1>we do is going to affect us. So yeah, So

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<v Speaker 1>there's a couple of things that have been that are

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<v Speaker 1>happening this month, and there are a few things for October.

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<v Speaker 1>We all come to those for future shows as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So because we want to, we want to maybe do

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<v Speaker 2>an entire show surrounding Black History Month, and that's something

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<v Speaker 2>in the in the process of planning. So hopefully we

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<v Speaker 2>can put all the players in place. Oh saw my

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<v Speaker 2>peas there tank Twister. But yes, we are looking to

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<v Speaker 2>do a program fully on that topic and hopefully we

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<v Speaker 2>can get that off the ground. And you know what,

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<v Speaker 2>it's Black History Months. But this is a conversation that

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<v Speaker 2>we really should be having all year round and every opportunity. Similarly,

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<v Speaker 2>mental health we do that well. And Allison, we were

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<v Speaker 2>speaking again, I believe this was offline about how relationships

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<v Speaker 2>and we're talking about rejection, we're talking about narratives, and

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<v Speaker 2>naturally we're talking about mental health because it mental health

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<v Speaker 2>really just intertwines with every aspect of our life, every

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<v Speaker 2>facet of our life. And I don't know if you

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<v Speaker 2>want to dip into it now or we do that later.

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<v Speaker 2>But we were talking about how much of this topic

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<v Speaker 2>in particular sort of resonates with you, and Angela alluded

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<v Speaker 2>to that that you've written a book dealing specifically about

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<v Speaker 2>relationships in the workplace, and so that's something that we

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<v Speaker 2>hopefully bring you on again. Goodness, don't get sick of us.

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<v Speaker 2>We hopefully bring you back on again to discuss in

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<v Speaker 2>more detail and maybe we can do a deep dive there.

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<v Speaker 2>But rejection, mental health, it's just relationships. It's just something

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<v Speaker 2>that you know, you tackle, you address, you notice, you recognize,

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<v Speaker 2>and it brings for really deep thinking and kind of

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<v Speaker 2>understanding your place in all of it. So, yeah, looking

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<v Speaker 2>forward to the presentation and looking forward to kind of

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<v Speaker 2>unpacking that. But tell us a little bit about how

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<v Speaker 2>how this particular topic. So it's bringing down strongholds as

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<v Speaker 2>we've touched on on on several issues. We've touched on anxiety,

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<v Speaker 2>stress and worry, we've touched on depression, we've touched on trauma.

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<v Speaker 2>But you said to me that rejection really opened up,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, other opportunities. It's also you know, lent itself

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<v Speaker 2>to a book. I hope I'm not running ahead of myself,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's also something that you kind of dealt with personally.

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<v Speaker 2>Share a little bit of insight on that before we

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<v Speaker 2>go into the presentation, if you don't.

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<v Speaker 3>Mind, Okay, thanks Anya. Yes, rejection really is. It's a

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<v Speaker 3>big topic. It's a big topic for for most people,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's a huge topic for me. You know. The

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<v Speaker 3>book I've just finished and it's been it's been kind

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<v Speaker 3>of it's going to be published by Stanbroke Press and

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<v Speaker 3>hopefully that's going to be out soon. So I was

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<v Speaker 3>actually commissioned by the press to to write on dealing

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<v Speaker 3>with rejection on the back of this series. So they

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<v Speaker 3>picked up Rejection. And you know, when I was asked

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<v Speaker 3>to write this this book and it's you know, practical

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<v Speaker 3>steps to dealing with rejection, I thought, oh my goodness,

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<v Speaker 3>of all the topics that I have talked about, you know, actually,

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<v Speaker 3>when I was preparing to do the series, this topic

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<v Speaker 3>was the one that really took its toll on me

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<v Speaker 3>because I have faced rejection really harshly in my life,

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<v Speaker 3>within my within family, in the work place, with you know, socially,

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<v Speaker 3>and so I've got very painful stories to tell about,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, how I have experienced rejection, a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>which is actually in the book that's going to be

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<v Speaker 3>published by Stanboro Press. So yes, it did.

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<v Speaker 1>It did.

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<v Speaker 3>It's almost like, you know, I thought, well, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>I've done the series, I've talked about all of these things,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's almost like God had some more work for

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<v Speaker 3>me to do on myself on this topic. And you know,

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<v Speaker 3>it's been by far one of the probably the most

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<v Speaker 3>painful topics for me because it's it's taken me to

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<v Speaker 3>places where I've been triggered. I've had to kind of

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<v Speaker 3>reflect and think about my rejection. But I've also been

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<v Speaker 3>very grateful, right because I have been able to see

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<v Speaker 3>how I got enabled me to thrive, even in the

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<v Speaker 3>face of doors being shut in my face, so I

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<v Speaker 3>could spend the whole evening I it'd probably be you

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<v Speaker 3>feel free when the book's out to come back and

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<v Speaker 3>that you talk about that book. But rejection, rejection really

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<v Speaker 3>is a grassroot problem because people are abundant. Because people

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<v Speaker 3>are rejected, they go through depression, they go through anxiety.

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<v Speaker 3>All of the things that we've talked about that have

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<v Speaker 3>people have anger problems, trauma, low self worth, all of

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<v Speaker 3>those All of these things can stem from rejection, rejection.

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<v Speaker 3>So rejection is really a grassroot problem. It's one of

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<v Speaker 3>those things that causes havoc in relationships and we end

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<v Speaker 3>up kind of kind of having difficulties with how we

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<v Speaker 3>relate with ourselves, and sometimes we are self rejecting as well.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's a huge topic. It's one that's taking me

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<v Speaker 3>on the journey and one that's exposed a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of strength that I have as well as

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of vulnerabilities that I have as well. And

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sure that probably as we talk about it this

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<v Speaker 3>evening and as we read the book eventually when it's

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<v Speaker 3>published in a few months time, we will be able

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<v Speaker 3>to relate to our own journeys of rejection and maybe

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<v Speaker 3>be thankful for the redirection that rejection has brought into

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<v Speaker 3>in our lives. So yes, it's a huge topic. We

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<v Speaker 3>all experience it, We will all experience it at some point.

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<v Speaker 3>We will at times be rejecting of other people as well.

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<v Speaker 3>But I think a lot of it depends on how

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<v Speaker 3>we respond to it and how harsh that rejection is

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<v Speaker 3>and who that rejection is from. So yes, it's a

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<v Speaker 3>big topic and I'm looking forward to talking about it

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<v Speaker 3>in the spirit of talking about black history. We know

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<v Speaker 3>that as a race, you know, black people have experienced

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<v Speaker 3>rejection in so many ways, and you know we could

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<v Speaker 3>be here talking about that all evening as well. So

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<v Speaker 3>it's got a mental health dimension and it's got a

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<v Speaker 3>black history dimension, which are all relevant to the show

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<v Speaker 3>this month and today.

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<v Speaker 2>Perfect Alison, Well, why don't I just let you continue

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<v Speaker 2>and just take us through the presentation.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, Okay, So we're just gonna do a bit of recap.

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<v Speaker 3>It's been it's been a times a heavy going series,

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<v Speaker 3>one where we've learnt a lot, we've shared a lot.

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<v Speaker 3>But just by way of recap, we started off with

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<v Speaker 3>an introduction to the series, bringing down Strongholds, and we

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<v Speaker 3>just talked about what strongholds are. We talked about where

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<v Speaker 3>this series has come from. We'll have a look at

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<v Speaker 3>the text, which is from Second Corinthians, Chapter ten, verses

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<v Speaker 3>three to five, and it says, for though we walk

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<v Speaker 3>in the flesh, we do not walk against the flesh.

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<v Speaker 3>For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but

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<v Speaker 3>mighty in God, for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments,

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<v Speaker 3>and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge

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<v Speaker 3>of God bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience

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<v Speaker 3>of Christ. So that's been the key text, the key

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<v Speaker 3>key scripture that we focused on throughout the series. And

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<v Speaker 3>when we talked about the strongholds, when we did the

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<v Speaker 3>first session, we talked about the fact that you know,

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<v Speaker 3>Paul was this was in the Book of Corinthians. So

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<v Speaker 3>Paul was writing to the people of Corinth, which is

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<v Speaker 3>an in Greek city, and he used the analogy of

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<v Speaker 3>a stronghold, a very strong fortress that was used to

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<v Speaker 3>strategize for war, and he used that to talk to

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<v Speaker 3>really describe what spiritual strongholds can look like. And in

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<v Speaker 3>that he was kind of thinking about strongholds having very high,

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<v Speaker 3>fortified walls, and he compared the walls to the walls

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<v Speaker 3>of lies that kind of build in our minds when

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<v Speaker 3>we go through difficult experiences and we tend to take

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<v Speaker 3>on negative thoughts and negative beliefs or believe in lies

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<v Speaker 3>that will hold us down and stop us from growing,

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<v Speaker 3>from progressing, from meeting our full potential. And then within

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<v Speaker 3>these strongholds, you'd have towers, and you'd have towers where

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<v Speaker 3>you know, people would kind of gather together and strategy

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<v Speaker 3>eyes and think about how to fight their opponent, and

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<v Speaker 3>these towers he likened to our imagination, so unhelpful imagination.

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<v Speaker 3>So if you think about like walls of lies and imagination,

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<v Speaker 3>that's unhelpful. And then within the towers, you know, you'd

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<v Speaker 3>normally typically have captains who would then do the strategizing

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<v Speaker 3>and try to bring down the enemy. And he likened

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<v Speaker 3>that to the captive thoughts that we have in our

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<v Speaker 3>minds when we're held in a stronghold. So a stronghold

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<v Speaker 3>can be kind of something that protects us, but in

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<v Speaker 3>this context always talking about what the enemy kind of

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<v Speaker 3>designs to hold us captive or to bring us down.

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<v Speaker 3>So when we talk about a stronghold, we're thinking about

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<v Speaker 3>a fortified place, but we're also thinking about are from

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<v Speaker 3>a spiritual perspective, where a particular cause or belief is

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<v Speaker 3>strongly held. We're talking about wards of resistance in the mind.

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<v Speaker 3>We're talking about arguments that are raised against the truth,

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<v Speaker 3>the character and the knowledge of God, and a fortress

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<v Speaker 3>that lies in the mind, including maybe things that are

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<v Speaker 3>factually true, but that things that are not necessarily the truth,

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<v Speaker 3>as in the what's written in God's words, anything that's

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<v Speaker 3>an obstacle to our wholesome purpose, growth and fulfillment in

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<v Speaker 3>life and anything that holds us captive. So in the

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<v Speaker 3>very first session, we talked about what strongholds are, and

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<v Speaker 3>then we went on to talk about worry, fear, and

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<v Speaker 3>anxiety as a stronghold, and we talked about, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>some of the kind of symptoms for anxiety and how

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<v Speaker 3>that can manifest us a stronghold. We went on after

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<v Speaker 3>that to talk about depression and how that looks medically

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<v Speaker 3>and how that looks as a stronghold. And then we

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<v Speaker 3>talked about knowing your wealth and this is about self

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<v Speaker 3>worth and how low self worth can manifest as a stronghold.

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<v Speaker 3>And then we went on to talk about trauma and

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<v Speaker 3>that was that was quite heavy going and how trauma

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<v Speaker 3>can be a stronghold. And here we are today talking

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<v Speaker 3>about rejection. But I want to suggest that rejection can

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<v Speaker 3>cause us to experience anxiety, worry, year depression, trauma, low

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<v Speaker 3>self worth, anger, all sorts of things. So that's why

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<v Speaker 3>it's such a it's such a big topic. So I

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<v Speaker 3>just want to kind of ask the question just for

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<v Speaker 3>people to think when we talk about rejection, what what

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<v Speaker 3>do we actually mean by rejection and how how have

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<v Speaker 3>people seen it manifested really in life. One of the

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<v Speaker 3>things that springs to mind is I think about I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know if people came across the story of a

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<v Speaker 3>young I think she was about ten years old. She

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<v Speaker 3>was a young athlete who performed I think it was

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<v Speaker 3>somewhere in Ireland, and after they did the performance, medals

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<v Speaker 3>were being given out to a group of young girls

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<v Speaker 3>about the same age, and this young black ten year

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<v Speaker 3>old and I'm using this example. That many examples, and

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<v Speaker 3>we'll talk about some of them, but I'm using this

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<v Speaker 3>one being Black History Month, because she was the only

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<v Speaker 3>black child in that group of athletes, and when the

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<v Speaker 3>medals were being given out, she was passed over. And

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<v Speaker 3>the rejection that this child felt. Actually, if you watched

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<v Speaker 3>the clip, you noticed straight away how that seemed. And

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<v Speaker 3>you know, the trauma potentially that this child might might

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<v Speaker 3>experience or might have experienced. Obviously, that's something that's going

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<v Speaker 3>to be edged in her mind for a long time.

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<v Speaker 3>But even when there was an up roa, nobody was

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<v Speaker 3>willing to kind of own up or apologize or say, well, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, we we missed we missed this girl. It

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<v Speaker 3>was the wrong thing to do. When her mother complained,

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<v Speaker 3>nothing was done about it until there was a social

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<v Speaker 3>until it went viral on social media, and so many

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<v Speaker 3>people talked about it. So this this rejection wasn't only

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<v Speaker 3>felt by this young girl, obviously it was felt by

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<v Speaker 3>her mother, her family, but anybody who has experienced a similar,

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<v Speaker 3>similar type of kind of rejection was being triggered as well.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's just one example. So I don't know, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>people have apply for jobs and get rejection letters. People

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<v Speaker 3>ask for certain favors and get denied, that get denied.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, we experience rejection all the time, sometimes on

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<v Speaker 3>a very intense scale, but other times in very kind

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<v Speaker 3>of regular, day to day ways that we are all

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<v Speaker 3>aware of. So what does it mean to be rejected.

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<v Speaker 3>It can mean being dismissed, It can mean being on

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<v Speaker 3>the mind, It can mean not being validated, being turned down,

415
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:45.440
<v Speaker 3>not being accepted, being pushed away. So normally it involves

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<v Speaker 3>one person being intentional about not including another person. So

417
00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:56.880
<v Speaker 3>it's often a conscious decision to reject somebody. And there's

418
00:27:56.920 --> 00:28:03.839
<v Speaker 3>so many reasons why people reject other people. But from

419
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:06.960
<v Speaker 3>the time when we're born, from the time when we're

420
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:13.400
<v Speaker 3>conceived and we are babies. We can either experience rejection

421
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:17.279
<v Speaker 3>from the very people who are supposed to be providing

422
00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:24.319
<v Speaker 3>the validation, the law of the security, the support, and

423
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:27.799
<v Speaker 3>for many many people they go through rejection from their

424
00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:33.599
<v Speaker 3>primary caregivers. We have what we call attachment styles, and

425
00:28:33.960 --> 00:28:37.440
<v Speaker 3>we've got there's four main attachment styles. We've got the

426
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:41.039
<v Speaker 3>secure attachment style, which is where a parent or a

427
00:28:41.079 --> 00:28:46.319
<v Speaker 3>caregiver is actually quite supportive and emotionally available for the child,

428
00:28:46.680 --> 00:28:50.559
<v Speaker 3>and so that child has a positive relational kind of

429
00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:53.960
<v Speaker 3>model or template, and so they grow up in a

430
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:59.240
<v Speaker 3>secure environment thinking feeling safe in the world and feeling like, yes,

431
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:03.039
<v Speaker 3>that it's fine to trust people. The world is a safe,

432
00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:07.440
<v Speaker 3>safe place and relationships are safe. But then we also

433
00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:13.960
<v Speaker 3>have ambivalence or preoccupied anxious attachment, and this is where

434
00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:18.079
<v Speaker 3>the caregiver or the parent is inconsistent with their affection

435
00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:21.960
<v Speaker 3>for the child. So then what then happens is that

436
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:26.359
<v Speaker 3>the child has a negative self image. They will seek

437
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:31.319
<v Speaker 3>attention then by sometimes all act top, sometimes they'll exaggerate

438
00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:35.000
<v Speaker 3>their emotions. But what's happening for this child in their

439
00:29:35.079 --> 00:29:39.200
<v Speaker 3>minds is that they're being rejected, right, And so they

440
00:29:39.240 --> 00:29:42.359
<v Speaker 3>will try to find a way to be accepted by

441
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:48.119
<v Speaker 3>the caregiver or by the parent. Another attachment style is

442
00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:51.599
<v Speaker 3>the avoidant attachment style, and this is where the caregiver

443
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:56.279
<v Speaker 3>is outright rejecting, very critical nothing the child does or

444
00:29:56.359 --> 00:29:59.960
<v Speaker 3>says is good enough. And what happens to the child

445
00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:04.680
<v Speaker 3>is that they're having negative relational model and see themselves

446
00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:10.480
<v Speaker 3>as unworthy or unacceptable. In the child's mind that being rejected,

447
00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:14.160
<v Speaker 3>they don't feel that they're good enough. They think they're defective.

448
00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:17.039
<v Speaker 3>Some thing's got to be wrong with them, because the

449
00:30:17.079 --> 00:30:20.359
<v Speaker 3>way children and young people think, they don't see the

450
00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:24.160
<v Speaker 3>adults as the one having the problem. They see themselves

451
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:28.200
<v Speaker 3>as the ones with the problem. And then lastly we've

452
00:30:28.200 --> 00:30:31.680
<v Speaker 3>got the disorganized attachment style. This is where the caregiver

453
00:30:31.880 --> 00:30:37.559
<v Speaker 3>is abusive and then the child becomes fearful, aggressive, lacks empathy,

454
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:42.359
<v Speaker 3>and generally feels unsafe in relationships. So, out of the

455
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:48.480
<v Speaker 3>four attachment styles out there three attachment styles that point

456
00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:52.400
<v Speaker 3>to the child or the young person being rejected. So,

457
00:30:52.559 --> 00:30:56.559
<v Speaker 3>as we can see, there's a lot of rejection around us,

458
00:30:56.599 --> 00:30:59.400
<v Speaker 3>rejection in our narrative, and sadly, for a lot of

459
00:30:59.480 --> 00:31:03.759
<v Speaker 3>people that's happening in the various spaces where they're supposed

460
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:08.200
<v Speaker 3>to feel safe and validated and accepted. And so what

461
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:13.759
<v Speaker 3>happens when people are rejected? What's the impact of kind

462
00:31:13.799 --> 00:31:18.240
<v Speaker 3>of poor attachment or rejection on the individual even as

463
00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:20.920
<v Speaker 3>they grow up to become an adult. The person with

464
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:26.400
<v Speaker 3>the secure attachment will be confident, will be reciprocal in relationships,

465
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:31.319
<v Speaker 3>will be resilient, will feel safe in relationship, and will

466
00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:38.000
<v Speaker 3>be quite balanced. Somebody who has an anxious, preoccupied, ambivalent

467
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:45.680
<v Speaker 3>attachment style will be kind of fantasizing, emotionally hungry, trying

468
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:51.599
<v Speaker 3>to seek attention. They will have turbulence in their emotional journey,

469
00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:55.200
<v Speaker 3>and they'll be lacking the kind of nurturing that they need,

470
00:31:55.720 --> 00:32:00.880
<v Speaker 3>and so they'll experience a lot of instability in relationship.

471
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:06.960
<v Speaker 3>Somebody who's had an avoidant or dismissive attachment style is

472
00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:13.839
<v Speaker 3>likely to isolate themselves, to be quite ambivalent, emotionally distant,

473
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:18.279
<v Speaker 3>wanting to have a connection with people, but then not

474
00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:21.680
<v Speaker 3>feeling like they can trust anybody. So these people can

475
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:25.920
<v Speaker 3>tend to be very independent, will probably do things for

476
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:29.799
<v Speaker 3>other people, but will not allow other people in because

477
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:33.160
<v Speaker 3>they're fearful that they're going to be rejected, and then

478
00:32:33.200 --> 00:32:36.240
<v Speaker 3>the fearful or avoidant attachment where there's a lot of

479
00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:42.319
<v Speaker 3>maybe abuse, physical abuse, emotional sexual abuse. That person's going

480
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:45.319
<v Speaker 3>to grow up with a lot of internal conflict. There's

481
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:47.240
<v Speaker 3>going to be a lot of drama, there's going to

482
00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:51.359
<v Speaker 3>be a lot of unpredictable behavior. Again, ambivalent, and people

483
00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:56.759
<v Speaker 3>like this tend to try to escape, right. So sometimes

484
00:32:56.799 --> 00:33:00.519
<v Speaker 3>when you see people who are addicted to kind of

485
00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:05.359
<v Speaker 3>substances alcohol, drugs, there trying to escape or anything else

486
00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:09.599
<v Speaker 3>for that matter, maybe trying to escape these chaos that

487
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:13.839
<v Speaker 3>they have been used to. So you know, we can

488
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:19.519
<v Speaker 3>see that whether or not we're accepted from childhood has

489
00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:25.200
<v Speaker 3>an impact on how we behave relationally day to day

490
00:33:25.880 --> 00:33:29.039
<v Speaker 3>and has an impact on how we respond to respond

491
00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:34.359
<v Speaker 3>to things that happen around us. So what are some

492
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:37.720
<v Speaker 3>ways or areas in life that we can experience rejection?

493
00:33:39.720 --> 00:33:42.920
<v Speaker 3>Just think about it for yourself. You know so many

494
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:46.200
<v Speaker 3>ways in which we can experience rejection. I would say,

495
00:33:46.200 --> 00:33:49.200
<v Speaker 3>we all have a story, and I just want to

496
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:52.079
<v Speaker 3>kind of talk about David. I think a lot of

497
00:33:52.119 --> 00:33:57.440
<v Speaker 3>people know of David in the Bible. If at least

498
00:33:57.480 --> 00:34:00.680
<v Speaker 3>you know the story of David don't goliave. David was

499
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:04.920
<v Speaker 3>rejected on many levels. He was rejected by his family

500
00:34:06.279 --> 00:34:10.199
<v Speaker 3>when when there was an audition for a king and

501
00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:15.000
<v Speaker 3>his dad had to present all of his children, David

502
00:34:15.239 --> 00:34:20.039
<v Speaker 3>was held back and he wasn't presented as a candidate

503
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:24.199
<v Speaker 3>because they didn't think that he was either good enough

504
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:28.840
<v Speaker 3>he was ready. So that's like a form of rejection

505
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:33.079
<v Speaker 3>where he was past passed over. He was rejected by

506
00:34:33.119 --> 00:34:36.800
<v Speaker 3>his brothers when there was the contests of the battle

507
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:41.199
<v Speaker 3>between David and Goliath, and before that, you know, his

508
00:34:41.239 --> 00:34:46.400
<v Speaker 3>brothers had been faced with fighting this giant, and you know,

509
00:34:46.960 --> 00:34:49.800
<v Speaker 3>he turns up and his brothers just say, go away.

510
00:34:50.280 --> 00:34:52.360
<v Speaker 3>You know, who do you think you are? You can't

511
00:34:52.360 --> 00:34:57.679
<v Speaker 3>do anything. So he was just dismissed as insignificant. He

512
00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:02.400
<v Speaker 3>was rejected at work. He was rejected by King Saul

513
00:35:02.920 --> 00:35:08.480
<v Speaker 3>when he actually offered to fight for Liar. He just

514
00:35:08.679 --> 00:35:12.760
<v Speaker 3>wasn't actually regarded as anything. And then eventually when he

515
00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:18.239
<v Speaker 3>fought and won and he was being celebrated by the

516
00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:22.239
<v Speaker 3>people who said, well, David has killed his ten thousand,

517
00:35:22.559 --> 00:35:27.519
<v Speaker 3>then Saul has killed his one thousand. Saul got obviously

518
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:31.840
<v Speaker 3>jealous and tried to kill him. So it didn't matter

519
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:35.320
<v Speaker 3>what he did at work. He wasn't he was he

520
00:35:35.480 --> 00:35:39.280
<v Speaker 3>was rejected. So he was rejected by his family, he

521
00:35:39.400 --> 00:35:42.199
<v Speaker 3>was rejected by his brothers, he was rejected that work,

522
00:35:42.519 --> 00:35:48.159
<v Speaker 3>was rejected by his spouse. David eventually had the task

523
00:35:48.239 --> 00:35:52.159
<v Speaker 3>of reclaiming the Act of the Covenant and bringing that

524
00:35:52.280 --> 00:35:56.599
<v Speaker 3>back to Jerusalem. And you know when he brought it back,

525
00:35:56.599 --> 00:36:00.199
<v Speaker 3>there was a lot of celebrating, he was dancing, and

526
00:36:00.239 --> 00:36:03.519
<v Speaker 3>his wife just basically made it full of him. Instead

527
00:36:03.559 --> 00:36:07.360
<v Speaker 3>of encouraging him and celebrating with him, she rejected him.

528
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:10.639
<v Speaker 3>So that's David's story. That's like a kind of like

529
00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:14.920
<v Speaker 3>high level overview of some of the ways in which

530
00:36:15.239 --> 00:36:18.719
<v Speaker 3>he was rejected. And I guess at this point, I'm thinking,

531
00:36:18.840 --> 00:36:22.360
<v Speaker 3>what's your own story, what's your own story? How have

532
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:23.440
<v Speaker 3>you been rejected?

533
00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:29.760
<v Speaker 2>Yes, as always food for thought there and already very

534
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:35.639
<v Speaker 2>heavy hitting, already very heavy hitting my own, if I may,

535
00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:38.840
<v Speaker 2>my own rejection story. I mean, like you said, I

536
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:44.559
<v Speaker 2>think everybody has one, and perhaps most of our most

537
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:49.719
<v Speaker 2>of us have more than one rejection story, as David did.

538
00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:53.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, probably rejected on all levels from someone at

539
00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:57.920
<v Speaker 2>some point. And I'm supposing that when we get onto

540
00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:01.360
<v Speaker 2>the meat of the matter, we'll discover how these differences

541
00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:07.760
<v Speaker 2>may impact how we react, how we rebound. But I'm

542
00:37:07.840 --> 00:37:17.239
<v Speaker 2>just thinking rejection from potential suitors, rejection from from jobs

543
00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:20.320
<v Speaker 2>that you know, I thought I was a shoe in for.

544
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:23.119
<v Speaker 2>I thought I was up next for the promotion, didn't

545
00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:28.519
<v Speaker 2>get it, Rejection for opportunities that I thought I deserved.

546
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:32.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, the list is very, very long. But what

547
00:37:33.039 --> 00:37:37.119
<v Speaker 2>maybe even scares me here is that you're saying that rejection,

548
00:37:37.480 --> 00:37:42.360
<v Speaker 2>even at childhood stage, could have such an impact on

549
00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:46.360
<v Speaker 2>your trajectory as a parent. I look at that and

550
00:37:46.400 --> 00:37:51.280
<v Speaker 2>I think, oh my goodness, where would Jay say, as

551
00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:57.880
<v Speaker 2>my son, I sit on that, on that list, and really,

552
00:37:58.079 --> 00:38:02.079
<v Speaker 2>is there redemption after you have maybe been rejection, have

553
00:38:02.599 --> 00:38:06.079
<v Speaker 2>witnessed or not witness but experience rejection at that level.

554
00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:10.800
<v Speaker 2>Is there any way forward? And I really look forward

555
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:14.000
<v Speaker 2>to hearing that because so many may have that story

556
00:38:14.119 --> 00:38:17.559
<v Speaker 2>of being rejected very very early on, rejected from their

557
00:38:17.559 --> 00:38:22.920
<v Speaker 2>primary caregivers, rejected when they didn't even do anything wrong,

558
00:38:23.079 --> 00:38:26.840
<v Speaker 2>didn't do anything to deserve it, and that's had an

559
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:33.199
<v Speaker 2>impact on them so many years on, and maybe they

560
00:38:33.239 --> 00:38:36.480
<v Speaker 2>have no chance of correcting it, of rectifying it. Maybe

561
00:38:36.559 --> 00:38:39.559
<v Speaker 2>parents have moved on, you know, all that kind of stuff,

562
00:38:39.559 --> 00:38:41.519
<v Speaker 2>and I'm just like, as a parent, that's hit home

563
00:38:41.559 --> 00:38:45.480
<v Speaker 2>for me, and maybe it's done that for the parents listening.

564
00:38:45.559 --> 00:38:48.840
<v Speaker 2>But how to make sure that we're creating that space

565
00:38:49.639 --> 00:38:54.039
<v Speaker 2>for our children at those tender ages beyond? You know,

566
00:38:54.079 --> 00:38:57.159
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about growing up, grown up, rejection jobs, all

567
00:38:57.199 --> 00:39:01.960
<v Speaker 2>that kind of business that I've experienced. But really you

568
00:39:01.960 --> 00:39:04.000
<v Speaker 2>can take it all the way back and you could

569
00:39:04.039 --> 00:39:07.119
<v Speaker 2>be talking about a child and their mother, you know,

570
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:11.480
<v Speaker 2>and not getting that support from very from that very beginning,

571
00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:15.440
<v Speaker 2>and that can set them up for failure. But god,

572
00:39:16.440 --> 00:39:17.159
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that.

573
00:39:17.800 --> 00:39:19.639
<v Speaker 3>But god, but.

574
00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:23.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what what's you I see you nodding

575
00:39:23.480 --> 00:39:27.599
<v Speaker 2>your head probably, but yeah, it's your take on it.

576
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:29.559
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's interesting because actually one of the things the

577
00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:32.519
<v Speaker 1>thoughts that came to mind was, and I was gonna say, Alison,

578
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:36.440
<v Speaker 1>in your work, you know, people come with the challenges

579
00:39:36.440 --> 00:39:42.559
<v Speaker 1>that they're currently facing. I wonder whether people recognize the

580
00:39:42.719 --> 00:39:45.880
<v Speaker 1>underlying causes that you said, you know, rejection is like,

581
00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:48.519
<v Speaker 1>you know, a ground root course. It's almost like it's

582
00:39:48.519 --> 00:39:51.599
<v Speaker 1>actually said can start from I guess whenever, But I

583
00:39:51.639 --> 00:39:54.880
<v Speaker 1>wonder whether you know, I suppose once you work with

584
00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:57.639
<v Speaker 1>somebody on reflection, they you know, you may realize that

585
00:39:57.719 --> 00:39:59.880
<v Speaker 1>actually it has been something it has been a form

586
00:39:59.880 --> 00:40:03.280
<v Speaker 1>of rejection of whatever it was that actually is really

587
00:40:03.400 --> 00:40:06.039
<v Speaker 1>now impacted. But I wonder whether people actually recognize it

588
00:40:06.039 --> 00:40:09.800
<v Speaker 1>as that, you know, So I'm curious to kind of

589
00:40:09.880 --> 00:40:12.519
<v Speaker 1>yeat to know whether that's actually they see it as

590
00:40:12.639 --> 00:40:15.000
<v Speaker 1>being rejectioned or is it a lot more when you

591
00:40:15.119 --> 00:40:16.760
<v Speaker 1>kind of delve in a little bit more that you

592
00:40:16.800 --> 00:40:19.760
<v Speaker 1>think are actually maybe that's what it was.

593
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:25.639
<v Speaker 3>I think I can say it obviously as a therapist,

594
00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:28.760
<v Speaker 3>I can see, I can, I can, I can connect

595
00:40:28.960 --> 00:40:33.559
<v Speaker 3>a lot of things to rejection, but no, most people don't.

596
00:40:33.639 --> 00:40:36.960
<v Speaker 3>And I just want to say that this whole rejection

597
00:40:37.159 --> 00:40:42.400
<v Speaker 3>thing really started from the fall. So it's a it's

598
00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:47.239
<v Speaker 3>a weapon that the enemy uses to really bring down

599
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:53.400
<v Speaker 3>people and and you know, make people feel a sense

600
00:40:53.480 --> 00:40:58.199
<v Speaker 3>of isolation. It's exactly what he did to add a

601
00:40:58.280 --> 00:41:02.840
<v Speaker 3>man if when he convince them that, you know, God

602
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:05.480
<v Speaker 3>just doesn't want you to be as good as him.

603
00:41:05.639 --> 00:41:08.800
<v Speaker 3>So there was a kind of there's a sense of

604
00:41:09.400 --> 00:41:13.840
<v Speaker 3>you know, ida'm and if feeling well be rejected there

605
00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:17.800
<v Speaker 3>and that's what that's the seed that he sows in

606
00:41:17.960 --> 00:41:22.880
<v Speaker 3>a lot of our relationships, and you know, that makes

607
00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:27.119
<v Speaker 3>our relationships. Some of our relationships fall apart. People don't

608
00:41:27.159 --> 00:41:31.400
<v Speaker 3>often and it becomes a vicious cycle because when you're rejected,

609
00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:35.639
<v Speaker 3>it's likely that you will reject others as well. And

610
00:41:35.679 --> 00:41:39.360
<v Speaker 3>then the impact of that rejection is felt very deeply.

611
00:41:39.840 --> 00:41:45.440
<v Speaker 3>And when we're talking about who is rejecting obviously, if

612
00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:48.239
<v Speaker 3>it's coming from primary care give us, if it's coming

613
00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:52.119
<v Speaker 3>from parents, people that we trust, that leaves a very

614
00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:56.320
<v Speaker 3>very big wound. And if we're not self aware and

615
00:41:56.360 --> 00:42:01.440
<v Speaker 3>we're not aware of the impact psychologically, in emotionally, spiritually

616
00:42:02.039 --> 00:42:06.920
<v Speaker 3>of that rejection, that will manifest in so many different ways.

617
00:42:07.639 --> 00:42:10.320
<v Speaker 3>So you know, sometimes it takes a long time for

618
00:42:10.400 --> 00:42:14.639
<v Speaker 3>people to connect the dots in therapy, but you know,

619
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:19.400
<v Speaker 3>at the end of the day, once they do connect

620
00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:24.000
<v Speaker 3>the dot, then they feel empowered to turn that narrative

621
00:42:24.239 --> 00:42:30.320
<v Speaker 3>around from feeling dejected because of rejection to thriving in

622
00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:34.760
<v Speaker 3>the face of the rejection. So God uses even the

623
00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:39.599
<v Speaker 3>rejections that we experience to turn our narratives around and

624
00:42:39.719 --> 00:42:44.599
<v Speaker 3>to reclaim the narrative that He's purposed for us.

625
00:42:45.239 --> 00:42:48.320
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I can imagine a lot of this gets internalized

626
00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:51.960
<v Speaker 1>and sometimes I guess it could be so it's almost

627
00:42:51.960 --> 00:42:55.360
<v Speaker 1>I think you're subconscious. Yeah, we're probably dealing with rejections

628
00:42:55.519 --> 00:42:58.880
<v Speaker 1>all the time without even recognizing it as being a

629
00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:03.920
<v Speaker 1>rejection person. But actually the internalization of what it was was.

630
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:06.719
<v Speaker 1>So it could be somebody might say something to you

631
00:43:07.039 --> 00:43:09.639
<v Speaker 1>in a shop, for instance, and okay, you know, just

632
00:43:09.679 --> 00:43:11.159
<v Speaker 1>the way in which they're spaking to you. It may

633
00:43:11.199 --> 00:43:13.000
<v Speaker 1>feel that way, but you just kind of think, oh,

634
00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:15.280
<v Speaker 1>that's just part of what it is. But you know,

635
00:43:15.400 --> 00:43:17.920
<v Speaker 1>without us saying recognizing you might be thinking about it,

636
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:20.920
<v Speaker 1>you're ruminating about it, it's in your mind, you start

637
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:23.199
<v Speaker 1>to overthink it and what have you, and you know,

638
00:43:23.280 --> 00:43:26.239
<v Speaker 1>then it's like a sense of vicious cycle and then

639
00:43:26.239 --> 00:43:29.119
<v Speaker 1>in terms of how you then maybe respond to somebody

640
00:43:29.119 --> 00:43:32.239
<v Speaker 1>else as similar sort of things. So, yeah, that's really interesting.

641
00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:34.639
<v Speaker 1>But like you said, I guess if you can, I

642
00:43:34.679 --> 00:43:37.960
<v Speaker 1>guess that's the importance of having that conversations about things

643
00:43:38.480 --> 00:43:42.119
<v Speaker 1>and really sort of self reflection and self awareness is

644
00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:44.840
<v Speaker 1>going to be really key to recognizing some of this

645
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:45.440
<v Speaker 1>as well.

646
00:43:46.119 --> 00:43:49.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and it's not always a bad thing to be rejected.

647
00:43:49.960 --> 00:43:53.960
<v Speaker 2>That that's true. And I was even thinking if not

648
00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:58.239
<v Speaker 2>only a conversation for that person who is feeling rejected,

649
00:43:58.239 --> 00:44:01.840
<v Speaker 2>but it's conversations for people who maybe inadvertently or on

650
00:44:01.920 --> 00:44:06.480
<v Speaker 2>purpose rejecting others and really causing that kind of pain.

651
00:44:06.559 --> 00:44:09.639
<v Speaker 2>And I mean maybe as a parent that's why I'm

652
00:44:09.679 --> 00:44:12.559
<v Speaker 2>sort of honing in on this, but these are conversations

653
00:44:12.559 --> 00:44:15.000
<v Speaker 2>that we need to have with parents parents to be

654
00:44:15.519 --> 00:44:19.119
<v Speaker 2>you know, how critical and how important their relationship is.

655
00:44:19.159 --> 00:44:21.599
<v Speaker 2>And I mean, I know most people will say, you

656
00:44:21.639 --> 00:44:24.599
<v Speaker 2>know what, I know this already, but sometimes it's it's

657
00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:27.760
<v Speaker 2>it's hearing it again and understanding the dynamics of it

658
00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:31.199
<v Speaker 2>that will really drive it home. How you know, how

659
00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:35.880
<v Speaker 2>you treat your child from the time you bring him

660
00:44:35.960 --> 00:44:38.760
<v Speaker 2>or her into the world, you know, can have such

661
00:44:38.760 --> 00:44:41.400
<v Speaker 2>a major impact on where they end up and how

662
00:44:41.480 --> 00:44:45.719
<v Speaker 2>they process life. So yeah, not only to the rejected,

663
00:44:46.519 --> 00:44:48.679
<v Speaker 2>but for those of us who have people in our

664
00:44:48.760 --> 00:44:52.320
<v Speaker 2>care who you know, have people in our spaces as managers,

665
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:55.320
<v Speaker 2>et cetera, et cetera. So yeah, I'm sure we'll dig

666
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:58.159
<v Speaker 2>deeper into that, but it's it's a conversation for both

667
00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:00.440
<v Speaker 2>ends of the coin, I would say.

668
00:45:01.039 --> 00:45:03.360
<v Speaker 3>And I just want to say that there's always opportunity

669
00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:06.800
<v Speaker 3>to heal. Right, So you know, when we go through

670
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:10.519
<v Speaker 3>ruptures in our relationships, it's not about you know, because

671
00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:13.079
<v Speaker 3>we will all go through None of us is perfect,

672
00:45:13.159 --> 00:45:17.039
<v Speaker 3>and we will all go through periods we hurt each other.

673
00:45:17.119 --> 00:45:20.519
<v Speaker 3>But the important thing is to offer each other the

674
00:45:20.559 --> 00:45:23.480
<v Speaker 3>opportunity to heal, to be able to apologize, to be

675
00:45:23.519 --> 00:45:28.079
<v Speaker 3>able to offer that space to heal in that relationship.

676
00:45:28.199 --> 00:45:32.119
<v Speaker 3>So it's this isn't for parents to feel bad or

677
00:45:32.199 --> 00:45:36.440
<v Speaker 3>to feel guilty. It's just to be aware. And where

678
00:45:36.480 --> 00:45:42.599
<v Speaker 3>there's been problems where we've either directly or indirectly rejected

679
00:45:42.760 --> 00:45:46.199
<v Speaker 3>another person our children, you know, we can offer that

680
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:50.880
<v Speaker 3>healing by acknowledging where we went wrong, by offering space

681
00:45:50.920 --> 00:45:54.559
<v Speaker 3>for them to express themselves so we can validate them

682
00:45:55.599 --> 00:46:01.880
<v Speaker 3>and heal each other through that interact of that relationship.

683
00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:04.400
<v Speaker 2>Perfect well said.

684
00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:11.400
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so we're looking now at rejection as a stronghold.

685
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:16.239
<v Speaker 3>And as we've said, the truth is that rejection is

686
00:46:16.360 --> 00:46:17.559
<v Speaker 3>just a part of life.

687
00:46:17.719 --> 00:46:17.920
<v Speaker 2>Right.

688
00:46:18.079 --> 00:46:22.719
<v Speaker 3>It happens to everyone. It doesn't matter how smart, how handsome,

689
00:46:23.199 --> 00:46:26.840
<v Speaker 3>or how capable you are. We all face rejection in

690
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:32.519
<v Speaker 3>some way or another. However, Rejection becomes a stronghold when

691
00:46:32.599 --> 00:46:35.840
<v Speaker 3>it causes us to be caught in a cycle of

692
00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:40.519
<v Speaker 3>negative beliefs, thoughts, and emotions and to continually behave in

693
00:46:40.599 --> 00:46:45.079
<v Speaker 3>ways that reinforce this negative belief so that keeps us

694
00:46:45.119 --> 00:46:50.360
<v Speaker 3>in a negative or in a vicial cycle. So the

695
00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:54.119
<v Speaker 3>cycle that becomes a stronghold looks like this. Because we

696
00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:58.360
<v Speaker 3>have been rejected, we develop core beliefs about ourselves or

697
00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:01.920
<v Speaker 3>about the world, about other people that are quite negative,

698
00:47:02.039 --> 00:47:07.679
<v Speaker 3>such as, you know, I'm defective, I'm stupid, something's wrong

699
00:47:07.719 --> 00:47:12.039
<v Speaker 3>with me. And then because of that lens through which

700
00:47:12.079 --> 00:47:17.000
<v Speaker 3>we view ourselves or how other people view us, we

701
00:47:17.039 --> 00:47:21.280
<v Speaker 3>will have thoughts about ourselves that are not great and

702
00:47:21.400 --> 00:47:24.480
<v Speaker 3>will have feelings obviously as a result that you know,

703
00:47:24.760 --> 00:47:29.440
<v Speaker 3>we might feel low, we might feel anxious, we might

704
00:47:29.519 --> 00:47:33.480
<v Speaker 3>feel sad, we might feel anger, frustration, and then we

705
00:47:33.519 --> 00:47:36.960
<v Speaker 3>will behave in ways that align with our thoughts and

706
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:40.800
<v Speaker 3>our feelings, which will only reinforce the thoughts and feelings

707
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:46.320
<v Speaker 3>again and keep us believing those negative core beliefs. So,

708
00:47:46.920 --> 00:47:51.239
<v Speaker 3>you know, when we have negative views about ourselves, or

709
00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:54.000
<v Speaker 3>we have negative views about the world or negative views

710
00:47:54.039 --> 00:47:57.480
<v Speaker 3>about the future, that can keep us in a vicious cycle,

711
00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:01.119
<v Speaker 3>and that can be what rejection does. If somebody has

712
00:48:01.159 --> 00:48:06.000
<v Speaker 3>been rejected a number of times, especially by significant people

713
00:48:06.039 --> 00:48:10.800
<v Speaker 3>in their lives, they start to believe this lies really

714
00:48:11.679 --> 00:48:16.719
<v Speaker 3>about themselves, which can be quite detrimental. So what does

715
00:48:16.719 --> 00:48:20.760
<v Speaker 3>the cycle of rejection look like? We get pushed away, dismissed,

716
00:48:20.840 --> 00:48:26.199
<v Speaker 3>or rejected, and then we feel disconnected or isolated, and

717
00:48:26.239 --> 00:48:28.599
<v Speaker 3>then what we start to do is we start to withdraw.

718
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:32.519
<v Speaker 3>So if you go into a community and you know,

719
00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:36.079
<v Speaker 3>somebody kind of makes you feel like, actually, you don't

720
00:48:36.119 --> 00:48:39.719
<v Speaker 3>belong here, why are you here? You start to you don't.

721
00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:43.679
<v Speaker 3>You wouldn't naturally connect with that group of people, with

722
00:48:43.719 --> 00:48:46.920
<v Speaker 3>that community, You wouldn't feel a sense of belonging, and

723
00:48:46.960 --> 00:48:50.199
<v Speaker 3>so that makes you want to stay by yourself, withdraw

724
00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:54.800
<v Speaker 3>from the from the group. And then by withdrawing and

725
00:48:54.960 --> 00:49:00.000
<v Speaker 3>isolating yourself from everybody else, you will reinforce that feeling

726
00:49:00.199 --> 00:49:06.559
<v Speaker 3>of being isolated, and your perception of other people will

727
00:49:06.599 --> 00:49:10.559
<v Speaker 3>be that they're invalidating. And so that's just going to

728
00:49:10.639 --> 00:49:15.440
<v Speaker 3>be back to that space of feeling rejected, feeling disconnected,

729
00:49:15.800 --> 00:49:21.719
<v Speaker 3>and that's that cycle can just keep going And how

730
00:49:21.760 --> 00:49:26.199
<v Speaker 3>does it then impact us? So what are the negative

731
00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:30.440
<v Speaker 3>effects of rejection. There are very many. They impact us

732
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:35.199
<v Speaker 3>on a mental health level, on a spiritual health level,

733
00:49:35.400 --> 00:49:39.480
<v Speaker 3>on a physical health level, and on an emotional health level.

734
00:49:39.599 --> 00:49:43.360
<v Speaker 3>So that impact the whole person on all aspects of

735
00:49:43.400 --> 00:49:48.280
<v Speaker 3>our being. And so when we're rejected, we feel unloved. Obviously,

736
00:49:48.519 --> 00:49:53.880
<v Speaker 3>we don't feel a sense of acceptance and belonging. We

737
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:57.400
<v Speaker 3>have low self worth because we don't see ourselves the

738
00:49:57.440 --> 00:50:01.639
<v Speaker 3>way you know, God who created us, sees us and

739
00:50:01.719 --> 00:50:05.440
<v Speaker 3>he says you're fearfully and wonderfully made. We don't see

740
00:50:05.480 --> 00:50:09.079
<v Speaker 3>ourselves as that. We see ourselves as defective or you

741
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:12.199
<v Speaker 3>know what. We feel guilty, we feel ashamed, and so

742
00:50:12.280 --> 00:50:17.719
<v Speaker 3>our self worth drops. We have a sense of insecurity, fear, anger,

743
00:50:18.840 --> 00:50:22.159
<v Speaker 3>We are untrusting of other people, and we carry a

744
00:50:22.159 --> 00:50:24.679
<v Speaker 3>lot of guilt and shame. And all of these things

745
00:50:24.760 --> 00:50:30.199
<v Speaker 3>have negative, huge negative impacts on our emotional health, physical health,

746
00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:34.280
<v Speaker 3>spiritual health, because then it's very difficult for us so

747
00:50:34.719 --> 00:50:38.920
<v Speaker 3>even trust God and relate to him with a clear mind,

748
00:50:39.880 --> 00:50:44.360
<v Speaker 3>and then our mental health obviously obviously suffers. So rejection

749
00:50:44.519 --> 00:50:49.079
<v Speaker 3>is a big, big deal when it's experienced in a

750
00:50:49.719 --> 00:50:56.599
<v Speaker 3>very negative way. So strongholds of rejection and Wolves of Life.

751
00:50:56.760 --> 00:51:00.320
<v Speaker 3>We talked about kind of like a stronghold in like

752
00:51:00.360 --> 00:51:05.920
<v Speaker 3>a fortress with very high, strong walls. What do the

753
00:51:06.079 --> 00:51:10.079
<v Speaker 3>walls look like? What what do the lies look like?

754
00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:14.199
<v Speaker 3>What do they sound like? Sounds like I'm not good enough,

755
00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:18.519
<v Speaker 3>I don't belong. Other people's success is a reflection of

756
00:51:18.559 --> 00:51:22.920
<v Speaker 3>my own failure. It's not with me trying every everyone

757
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:26.840
<v Speaker 3>else will find faults in me. Right, And then what

758
00:51:27.159 --> 00:51:34.840
<v Speaker 3>happens is that we experience really challenging emotions like gear, anger, frustration, depression,

759
00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:39.360
<v Speaker 3>and obviously with that our mental health will suffer. So

760
00:51:40.119 --> 00:51:44.679
<v Speaker 3>in terms of like what what problems do? People then

761
00:51:44.920 --> 00:51:50.000
<v Speaker 3>have various anxiety disorders, social anxiety, all of the anxiety

762
00:51:50.199 --> 00:51:53.119
<v Speaker 3>disorders that we've we've talked about earlier in the series,

763
00:51:53.719 --> 00:51:59.960
<v Speaker 3>social anxiety, panic attacks. Some people will then suffer from

764
00:52:00.119 --> 00:52:06.159
<v Speaker 3>obsessive compulsive disorder. We have mood disorder. We have people

765
00:52:06.159 --> 00:52:13.480
<v Speaker 3>suffering from bipolar, from clinical depression, sadness, all the different

766
00:52:13.519 --> 00:52:17.400
<v Speaker 3>types of depression out there can be as a result

767
00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:21.840
<v Speaker 3>of rejection as well. We have complex trauma. People who

768
00:52:21.880 --> 00:52:28.280
<v Speaker 3>have had neglect and being ignored or abandoned like consistently

769
00:52:28.920 --> 00:52:33.519
<v Speaker 3>throughout their lives or in their formative years will suffer

770
00:52:34.039 --> 00:52:39.519
<v Speaker 3>complex trauma or childhood trauma, low self worth, and various

771
00:52:39.519 --> 00:52:44.639
<v Speaker 3>types of personality disorders are there, so you can start

772
00:52:44.679 --> 00:52:49.280
<v Speaker 3>to see the kind of impact. So those are the

773
00:52:49.320 --> 00:52:53.159
<v Speaker 3>worlds of lies, tell us of unhelpful imagination. We're talking

774
00:52:53.199 --> 00:52:54.840
<v Speaker 3>about rejection as a strong le.

775
00:52:55.119 --> 00:52:56.199
<v Speaker 1>What do they look like.

776
00:52:57.119 --> 00:53:02.679
<v Speaker 3>You're imagining yourself as less than others, right, So because

777
00:53:02.719 --> 00:53:07.239
<v Speaker 3>you're rejected, in your mind, you're less. If you could

778
00:53:07.400 --> 00:53:10.800
<v Speaker 3>kind of draw a picture to yourself, yourself compared to

779
00:53:11.440 --> 00:53:15.480
<v Speaker 3>other people, you draw yourself probably a lot smaller than

780
00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:22.599
<v Speaker 3>everybody else. Right, You're imagining yourself reducing in the presence

781
00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:25.360
<v Speaker 3>of other people. You see yourself as always having to

782
00:53:25.480 --> 00:53:30.519
<v Speaker 3>place others to get their validation or approval, and you

783
00:53:30.639 --> 00:53:34.639
<v Speaker 3>have a negative perception of yourself, your ability to relate

784
00:53:34.719 --> 00:53:39.400
<v Speaker 3>with other people, and your prospects for the future. So

785
00:53:39.480 --> 00:53:43.960
<v Speaker 3>it's really really important that we're mindful how the people

786
00:53:44.119 --> 00:53:50.000
<v Speaker 3>in our environment influence our own perception of ourselves, and

787
00:53:50.360 --> 00:53:55.360
<v Speaker 3>that we don't internalize other people's rejection of us and

788
00:53:55.760 --> 00:53:59.400
<v Speaker 3>then become self rejecting ourselves as well. All of this

789
00:53:59.559 --> 00:54:04.119
<v Speaker 3>can happen in our imagination. All of this can happen

790
00:54:04.239 --> 00:54:09.960
<v Speaker 3>because somebody has been rejecting, and then our minds take

791
00:54:10.079 --> 00:54:12.960
<v Speaker 3>us on the journey that tell us, you know, where

792
00:54:13.199 --> 00:54:15.519
<v Speaker 3>a lot less than other people were not good enough

793
00:54:16.719 --> 00:54:20.639
<v Speaker 3>and we're not capable of doing X, Y and z.

794
00:54:22.239 --> 00:54:25.360
<v Speaker 3>So what do the captive thoughts look like? So we've

795
00:54:25.400 --> 00:54:29.199
<v Speaker 3>talked about the walls of lies, we've talked about the

796
00:54:29.239 --> 00:54:33.800
<v Speaker 3>towers of unhelpful imagination. Now we're thinking about the captains

797
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:37.400
<v Speaker 3>in these towers, the thoughts in our minds, in the

798
00:54:37.480 --> 00:54:40.480
<v Speaker 3>towers of our minds, what do they look like when

799
00:54:40.519 --> 00:54:44.840
<v Speaker 3>we've been rejected? The thoughts like I'm only as good

800
00:54:44.880 --> 00:54:48.760
<v Speaker 3>as the last person as the last approval I received

801
00:54:48.800 --> 00:54:53.239
<v Speaker 3>from somebody else, or the thoughts like if I'm not welcome,

802
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:57.800
<v Speaker 3>it means there is something wrong with me, or thoughts

803
00:54:57.920 --> 00:55:00.719
<v Speaker 3>like I'm not good enough, or thoughts like other people

804
00:55:00.800 --> 00:55:04.519
<v Speaker 3>are more important and more special than me, or thoughts

805
00:55:04.599 --> 00:55:07.679
<v Speaker 3>like because I was not accepted, I'll never be able

806
00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:12.079
<v Speaker 3>to achieve or be as good as somebody else. Right,

807
00:55:12.639 --> 00:55:15.719
<v Speaker 3>And we have to remember, it's really important that we

808
00:55:15.840 --> 00:55:20.400
<v Speaker 3>remember that our thoughts are not always true, Our thoughts

809
00:55:20.400 --> 00:55:23.599
<v Speaker 3>are not always factual, and our thoughts are not always

810
00:55:23.679 --> 00:55:30.679
<v Speaker 3>a reflection of reality. Our thoughts are just mental events

811
00:55:30.719 --> 00:55:33.800
<v Speaker 3>in the mind. They're not real. The only start to

812
00:55:33.840 --> 00:55:37.960
<v Speaker 3>become real when we act upon these thoughts as if

813
00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:38.840
<v Speaker 3>they're true.

814
00:55:39.599 --> 00:55:45.079
<v Speaker 2>Alison Only. Oh sorry, Angela, I was just saying, you've

815
00:55:45.599 --> 00:55:49.719
<v Speaker 2>highlighted there how our reaching rejection is and so many

816
00:55:49.719 --> 00:55:51.880
<v Speaker 2>of the topics that you've discussed. You know, it has

817
00:55:51.920 --> 00:55:56.280
<v Speaker 2>such a rippling effect. One thing kind of dominoes into another,

818
00:55:56.800 --> 00:56:00.760
<v Speaker 2>and you're talking about how rejection can affect your spiritual, emotional,

819
00:56:01.360 --> 00:56:05.480
<v Speaker 2>your mental health. So it's a big deal. And I

820
00:56:05.480 --> 00:56:08.079
<v Speaker 2>guess we hinted at that at the very beginning, how

821
00:56:08.280 --> 00:56:11.400
<v Speaker 2>rejection can just have such a far reaching impact, and

822
00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:13.360
<v Speaker 2>I think that's come out and that portion of the

823
00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:17.800
<v Speaker 2>presentation that you've just shared, Angela. Sorry, we were about to.

824
00:56:18.039 --> 00:56:20.639
<v Speaker 1>Say it was interesting as well. Like you, how you've

825
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:24.000
<v Speaker 1>framed it in terms of our imagination kind of plays

826
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:26.079
<v Speaker 1>a really big part of that. And I guess it's

827
00:56:26.480 --> 00:56:28.239
<v Speaker 1>how we I guess it's the way in which we

828
00:56:28.320 --> 00:56:32.079
<v Speaker 1>respond to whatever's possibly happened, but we can create that

829
00:56:32.199 --> 00:56:36.920
<v Speaker 1>to be even more so than it maybe is. You know,

830
00:56:37.320 --> 00:56:40.159
<v Speaker 1>the messaging that we tell ourselves. I mean, I know

831
00:56:40.239 --> 00:56:42.679
<v Speaker 1>I speak to and I speak to so many students

832
00:56:43.360 --> 00:56:46.800
<v Speaker 1>who sort of, you know, they have this kind of

833
00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:49.719
<v Speaker 1>imposter syndrome and they don't think they're good enough to say,

834
00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:52.400
<v Speaker 1>be at this university. And I'm like, but you are

835
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:55.719
<v Speaker 1>at this university, so whatever you did, you're definitely good enough.

836
00:56:56.239 --> 00:56:58.760
<v Speaker 1>And whilst now you sort of maybe struggling because they

837
00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:01.440
<v Speaker 1>feel like I was struggling because it's all the reality is,

838
00:57:01.480 --> 00:57:03.519
<v Speaker 1>it's all new. You know, they're trying to get to

839
00:57:03.559 --> 00:57:06.039
<v Speaker 1>grips with everything, and it's just like, well, you are

840
00:57:06.079 --> 00:57:09.320
<v Speaker 1>good enough. But they're telling themselves all of this messaging

841
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:12.280
<v Speaker 1>and you know, you think to yourself, well, you wonder

842
00:57:12.280 --> 00:57:15.760
<v Speaker 1>where that's all coming from. But in some ways they

843
00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:19.239
<v Speaker 1>it almost feels that they have rejected their own abilities,

844
00:57:19.519 --> 00:57:22.599
<v Speaker 1>their own skills. They're not recognizing all the actual things

845
00:57:22.639 --> 00:57:26.000
<v Speaker 1>that they actually can do and have built this into something.

846
00:57:26.519 --> 00:57:28.039
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes it sort of step back and just to

847
00:57:28.079 --> 00:57:31.199
<v Speaker 1>remind them, actually, it can't be that. I'm not saying

848
00:57:31.199 --> 00:57:32.599
<v Speaker 1>it's not that bad, but it can't that bad, or

849
00:57:32.639 --> 00:57:34.719
<v Speaker 1>you can't that bad because you are here, you've been

850
00:57:34.719 --> 00:57:37.639
<v Speaker 1>able to do this, You've got this fast. So it's

851
00:57:37.639 --> 00:57:41.280
<v Speaker 1>interesting how we can we can create things and as

852
00:57:41.320 --> 00:57:44.480
<v Speaker 1>you said, it's a deception. It's the lies that are

853
00:57:44.519 --> 00:57:47.400
<v Speaker 1>being fed us whatever, you know, whether it's we've been

854
00:57:47.400 --> 00:57:49.840
<v Speaker 1>told that or actually we start to tell that ourselves.

855
00:57:49.880 --> 00:57:52.079
<v Speaker 1>So I think that's really interesting there as well. And

856
00:57:52.119 --> 00:57:54.599
<v Speaker 1>you can see that playing out in so many different ways.

857
00:57:54.599 --> 00:57:56.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm guilty of that myself.

858
00:57:56.920 --> 00:58:00.440
<v Speaker 3>You know, I think we all are. I think all are.

859
00:58:00.480 --> 00:58:04.320
<v Speaker 3>But it's I think what the enemy tries to do is,

860
00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:06.639
<v Speaker 3>you know, if he can get us to be self

861
00:58:06.679 --> 00:58:11.599
<v Speaker 3>reject rejecting, that's even more powerful than being rejected by

862
00:58:11.679 --> 00:58:15.280
<v Speaker 3>somebody else, because when you reject yourself, then it's very

863
00:58:15.320 --> 00:58:17.199
<v Speaker 3>difficult to get out of that.

864
00:58:17.840 --> 00:58:20.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I always think to myself, you know, Satan

865
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:24.760
<v Speaker 1>is trying to destroy God's greatest creation, and if you

866
00:58:24.800 --> 00:58:27.559
<v Speaker 1>can break down, as you said, that sense of self

867
00:58:27.639 --> 00:58:30.519
<v Speaker 1>and who we are in God's eyes, then yet you

868
00:58:30.679 --> 00:58:33.760
<v Speaker 1>know he's that's that's the most distructive thing that's going

869
00:58:33.800 --> 00:58:35.320
<v Speaker 1>to be because you know, it takes us so far

870
00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:38.639
<v Speaker 1>away from who we should be and who we are

871
00:58:38.719 --> 00:58:42.880
<v Speaker 1>and how we've been created. Yeah, rejection. And I guess

872
00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:44.639
<v Speaker 1>I've never really necessarily thought of it that way. And

873
00:58:44.639 --> 00:58:47.159
<v Speaker 1>I guess sometimetimes I said, we just deal with it

874
00:58:48.039 --> 00:58:50.599
<v Speaker 1>and kind of go about it, but not necessary recognizing

875
00:58:51.079 --> 00:58:53.960
<v Speaker 1>how deep that actually can be for us in so

876
00:58:54.039 --> 00:58:55.079
<v Speaker 1>many different ways.

877
00:58:55.639 --> 00:58:59.360
<v Speaker 2>So, yeah, Alison, if I could ask you to just

878
00:58:59.559 --> 00:59:02.840
<v Speaker 2>go back, it's maybe one more slide, But you spoke

879
00:59:02.880 --> 00:59:07.559
<v Speaker 2>about what the thought is and I felt that needed repeating.

880
00:59:07.639 --> 00:59:10.920
<v Speaker 2>Our thoughts are not always true, they're not always factual,

881
00:59:10.960 --> 00:59:15.559
<v Speaker 2>and they're not always reality. How true that is because

882
00:59:15.599 --> 00:59:18.119
<v Speaker 2>we can just build up, like you said, Angela, a

883
00:59:18.159 --> 00:59:23.199
<v Speaker 2>whole system around us of thoughts and misconceptions and ideas

884
00:59:23.239 --> 00:59:26.760
<v Speaker 2>that are just completely false, completely against what God says

885
00:59:26.800 --> 00:59:28.800
<v Speaker 2>we are, what God says we can do, against His

886
00:59:28.920 --> 00:59:33.320
<v Speaker 2>purpose for us, and we then live our lives half full,

887
00:59:33.920 --> 00:59:37.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, we live our lives without achieving what He

888
00:59:37.880 --> 00:59:40.719
<v Speaker 2>wants us to achieve because we've just lived our lives

889
00:59:40.760 --> 00:59:41.559
<v Speaker 2>based on lives.

890
00:59:42.360 --> 00:59:46.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think sometimes maybe it's just perceived rejection as well.

891
00:59:46.400 --> 00:59:49.800
<v Speaker 1>Maybe we've actually not been rejected, but we've created that

892
00:59:50.039 --> 00:59:54.719
<v Speaker 1>sense of that sense of rejection, and that perception believes

893
00:59:54.719 --> 00:59:57.239
<v Speaker 1>that to be the case, but maybe sometimes it actually isn't.

894
00:59:59.159 --> 01:00:00.760
<v Speaker 2>And I'm sure we're going to get to that as well.

895
01:00:00.800 --> 01:00:05.239
<v Speaker 2>But how one person's rejection doesn't define us. Yeah, it

896
01:00:05.280 --> 01:00:08.639
<v Speaker 2>doesn't define us. If I'm rejected by one guy doesn't

897
01:00:08.719 --> 01:00:11.840
<v Speaker 2>mean that, you know, I'm unlovable. It doesn't mean that

898
01:00:12.360 --> 01:00:16.800
<v Speaker 2>there's not another potential suitor around the corner. But suddenly

899
01:00:16.840 --> 01:00:19.400
<v Speaker 2>we've we've made that the bee all at end all.

900
01:00:20.559 --> 01:00:23.880
<v Speaker 2>In fact, whenever I think about this topic, it brings

901
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:28.320
<v Speaker 2>me back to the sad and tragic death of Elien

902
01:00:28.920 --> 01:00:32.000
<v Speaker 2>and them. And again, maybe we'll we'll dig a little

903
01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:34.880
<v Speaker 2>deeper there. But that was just the result of some

904
01:00:35.159 --> 01:00:39.679
<v Speaker 2>young man feeling that he couldn't live or she couldn't

905
01:00:39.719 --> 01:00:44.760
<v Speaker 2>live without him, and therefore he decided to take her life.

906
01:00:44.800 --> 01:00:47.760
<v Speaker 2>And it was Ellien who tragically stepped in to try

907
01:00:47.760 --> 01:00:50.800
<v Speaker 2>to defend her friend and died as a result. But

908
01:00:51.480 --> 01:00:54.880
<v Speaker 2>we've got to again, maybe going back to parenting, but

909
01:00:54.960 --> 01:00:57.440
<v Speaker 2>we've got to teach our children how to deal with

910
01:00:57.480 --> 01:01:00.760
<v Speaker 2>those thoughts and how to deal with rejection, because, I mean,

911
01:01:00.880 --> 01:01:05.039
<v Speaker 2>life goes on, and the younger you are that the

912
01:01:05.039 --> 01:01:07.599
<v Speaker 2>more potential you have to get past it. I mean,

913
01:01:07.760 --> 01:01:10.840
<v Speaker 2>but wherever you are in life, as Alison, you've said,

914
01:01:10.880 --> 01:01:13.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, with God we can we can do all things.

915
01:01:14.159 --> 01:01:18.320
<v Speaker 3>And you know, if we look at Christ you know,

916
01:01:19.159 --> 01:01:23.440
<v Speaker 3>I think he was the most rejected of humanity in

917
01:01:23.519 --> 01:01:28.719
<v Speaker 3>the in the harshest ways, and that did not define him.

918
01:01:28.760 --> 01:01:32.159
<v Speaker 3>The rejection was not what defined him. What defined him

919
01:01:32.679 --> 01:01:36.480
<v Speaker 3>was actually who he is and his God. And you know,

920
01:01:36.519 --> 01:01:40.440
<v Speaker 3>he came to save humanity, and even in the face

921
01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:44.960
<v Speaker 3>of all of the rejection, he didn't he didn't turn

922
01:01:45.039 --> 01:01:48.800
<v Speaker 3>away from who he truly was. And that's why we

923
01:01:49.119 --> 01:01:53.880
<v Speaker 3>had followed him as an example, because there will be

924
01:01:54.039 --> 01:01:59.000
<v Speaker 3>every type of trial or situation or rejection that he

925
01:01:59.119 --> 01:02:02.880
<v Speaker 3>will have experience that we can relate to and look

926
01:02:02.920 --> 01:02:07.119
<v Speaker 3>to him for guidance on how to respond. But you know,

927
01:02:07.400 --> 01:02:10.800
<v Speaker 3>like I said, and you know, unfortunately, time will not

928
01:02:10.960 --> 01:02:14.960
<v Speaker 3>permit for us to exhaust. You know, everything about rejection

929
01:02:15.119 --> 01:02:18.480
<v Speaker 3>is such a huge topic. When the book is published

930
01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:21.239
<v Speaker 3>by the publishers. You know, I'll let you know so

931
01:02:21.280 --> 01:02:23.320
<v Speaker 3>you can talk about it. There's so much in there,

932
01:02:23.760 --> 01:02:26.760
<v Speaker 3>and we can actually thrive in the phase of rejection

933
01:02:27.119 --> 01:02:30.519
<v Speaker 3>because rejection, as we'll say in a minute, can can

934
01:02:30.719 --> 01:02:34.519
<v Speaker 3>open up other opportunities, right and can take us to

935
01:02:34.599 --> 01:02:38.599
<v Speaker 3>different directions that we would never have thought about. So

936
01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:43.920
<v Speaker 3>it's sometimes a blessing, it's sometimes a gift, depending on

937
01:02:44.039 --> 01:02:46.840
<v Speaker 3>our attitude and our respond to it.

938
01:02:48.159 --> 01:02:49.719
<v Speaker 1>I was going to ask you just as you made

939
01:02:49.719 --> 01:02:52.239
<v Speaker 1>that last point, just made me think sort of, you know,

940
01:02:52.280 --> 01:02:55.320
<v Speaker 1>why do some people view it in such different ways?

941
01:02:55.360 --> 01:02:58.960
<v Speaker 1>Because for some people, rejection may seem like, actually, this

942
01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:02.079
<v Speaker 1>is an opportunity to prove to change. Actually may be

943
01:03:02.199 --> 01:03:04.519
<v Speaker 1>the best thing for me. They recognize that while some

944
01:03:04.599 --> 01:03:08.599
<v Speaker 1>people see this as you know, it's completely discouraging to them.

945
01:03:08.840 --> 01:03:10.920
<v Speaker 1>It will set them back, you know, it's the worst

946
01:03:10.920 --> 01:03:14.039
<v Speaker 1>thing that could possibly happen. I mean, I guess that's

947
01:03:14.119 --> 01:03:16.400
<v Speaker 1>human nature, but I mean, why is it that people

948
01:03:16.440 --> 01:03:20.119
<v Speaker 1>do view it so differently? From that respect?

949
01:03:21.159 --> 01:03:24.239
<v Speaker 3>Some people are so some people are wired to be

950
01:03:24.320 --> 01:03:29.199
<v Speaker 3>more resilient. Some people have the support network that will

951
01:03:29.239 --> 01:03:33.360
<v Speaker 3>actually help them be resilient and get through rejection. Some

952
01:03:33.400 --> 01:03:37.480
<v Speaker 3>people have the attitude, some people have the self awareness

953
01:03:37.639 --> 01:03:42.199
<v Speaker 3>that's necessary to get past the rejection. So there's a

954
01:03:42.280 --> 01:03:46.440
<v Speaker 3>number of factors that can contribute to how a person response.

955
01:03:46.719 --> 01:03:51.800
<v Speaker 3>But being aware, so just education and sometimes it's been

956
01:03:52.159 --> 01:03:57.559
<v Speaker 3>aware of why people have been why people are rejecting us. Right,

957
01:03:57.639 --> 01:04:00.960
<v Speaker 3>So a lot of the time we are not the problem,

958
01:04:01.360 --> 01:04:04.440
<v Speaker 3>even though we are being rejected. You know, the problems

959
01:04:05.039 --> 01:04:09.320
<v Speaker 3>lies within the insecurity of the person who is rejecting us,

960
01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:14.559
<v Speaker 3>not with us. You know, if people are really happy,

961
01:04:14.679 --> 01:04:18.119
<v Speaker 3>people are really secure, people will be a lot more

962
01:04:18.159 --> 01:04:22.559
<v Speaker 3>accommodating and a lot less rejecting and a lot less critical.

963
01:04:23.840 --> 01:04:26.960
<v Speaker 3>So if we view it as well, I'm not necessarily

964
01:04:27.119 --> 01:04:30.760
<v Speaker 3>the problem here, then we will be able to bounce

965
01:04:30.920 --> 01:04:34.840
<v Speaker 3>back and keep going. And actually, you know, like you said, Angela,

966
01:04:34.920 --> 01:04:39.400
<v Speaker 3>if you think about it, like most of the hugely

967
01:04:39.440 --> 01:04:42.559
<v Speaker 3>successful people in the world, I mean, in the book,

968
01:04:42.599 --> 01:04:46.119
<v Speaker 3>I write about Walt Disney, I write about Oprah Winfrey,

969
01:04:46.559 --> 01:04:51.039
<v Speaker 3>I write about Victor Franco, I write about Djokovic. All

970
01:04:51.079 --> 01:04:54.920
<v Speaker 3>of those people have experienced really harsh rejection, but their

971
01:04:54.920 --> 01:04:59.519
<v Speaker 3>resilience has been what's define them and taken them forward.

972
01:05:00.159 --> 01:05:03.559
<v Speaker 3>So you know, yes, like you said, people can choose

973
01:05:03.599 --> 01:05:10.039
<v Speaker 3>to to to explore other opportunities and to to be

974
01:05:10.199 --> 01:05:14.760
<v Speaker 3>more persistent in moving forward when they're rejected. And I

975
01:05:14.800 --> 01:05:18.719
<v Speaker 3>guess part of this is to help people do that,

976
01:05:19.360 --> 01:05:23.119
<v Speaker 3>to help people deal with the rejection in very practical ways,

977
01:05:23.400 --> 01:05:26.440
<v Speaker 3>to give them the tools that they need to keep

978
01:05:26.480 --> 01:05:30.599
<v Speaker 3>going even in the face of doors being shot in

979
01:05:30.679 --> 01:05:35.280
<v Speaker 3>their faces.

980
01:05:33.079 --> 01:05:35.360
<v Speaker 1>Something like that. You know, it's very key especially say,

981
01:05:35.400 --> 01:05:40.480
<v Speaker 1>like in the job search, you know, again working at university,

982
01:05:40.679 --> 01:05:44.280
<v Speaker 1>students are graduating, you know, and I remember having a

983
01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:46.199
<v Speaker 1>conversation with a student who was like, you know, I've

984
01:05:46.199 --> 01:05:49.800
<v Speaker 1>never not got something before, you know, and it was just,

985
01:05:49.880 --> 01:05:51.079
<v Speaker 1>you know, I thought I did really well at this

986
01:05:51.159 --> 01:05:54.440
<v Speaker 1>interview and I didn't get it. And I was like, yeah,

987
01:05:54.480 --> 01:05:56.719
<v Speaker 1>you're going to face that a lot. But what can

988
01:05:56.760 --> 01:05:59.599
<v Speaker 1>you take from that? You know, the reality is, you know,

989
01:05:59.679 --> 01:06:02.480
<v Speaker 1>this petition, there's lots of people vying for this, all

990
01:06:02.480 --> 01:06:06.000
<v Speaker 1>those things, and you know, not to see that rejection

991
01:06:06.239 --> 01:06:08.960
<v Speaker 1>is a completely negative thing because there's still lessons to

992
01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:11.239
<v Speaker 1>be learned from what have you. But again, that was

993
01:06:11.239 --> 01:06:14.519
<v Speaker 1>something completely new for her in the context, I guess,

994
01:06:15.119 --> 01:06:19.480
<v Speaker 1>so again recognizing that the self awareness and really preparing

995
01:06:19.519 --> 01:06:22.960
<v Speaker 1>yourself to see how you can you know, bounce back

996
01:06:23.000 --> 01:06:25.320
<v Speaker 1>from that, you know, she said, up your resilience and

997
01:06:25.360 --> 01:06:28.719
<v Speaker 1>everything else. But yeah, I guess there's so many different areas,

998
01:06:28.719 --> 01:06:30.440
<v Speaker 1>Like you said, there's so many different areas that it

999
01:06:30.480 --> 01:06:33.880
<v Speaker 1>can impact that lue. You don't necessarily know where that

1000
01:06:33.960 --> 01:06:36.519
<v Speaker 1>will take you and obviously how you respond to it

1001
01:06:36.559 --> 01:06:36.960
<v Speaker 1>as well.

1002
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:43.599
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, yeah, okay, all right, so now we're looking

1003
01:06:43.639 --> 01:06:47.880
<v Speaker 3>at bringing down the stronghold of rejection. I think this

1004
01:06:48.039 --> 01:06:51.280
<v Speaker 3>is it's important. So you know, we've looked at what

1005
01:06:51.480 --> 01:06:54.480
<v Speaker 3>it is. We've done a recap and we've looked at

1006
01:06:54.599 --> 01:06:59.599
<v Speaker 3>how the stronghold of rejection kind of is cultivated and

1007
01:06:59.719 --> 01:07:03.079
<v Speaker 3>how is kept alive. And now looking at you know,

1008
01:07:03.119 --> 01:07:07.559
<v Speaker 3>how do we bring down, you know, the stronghold of rejection.

1009
01:07:08.400 --> 01:07:11.239
<v Speaker 3>I like to go back to the to the scriptures,

1010
01:07:11.239 --> 01:07:15.000
<v Speaker 3>to the word of God, because you know, that's that's

1011
01:07:15.119 --> 01:07:17.840
<v Speaker 3>the truth. You know, that's the truth, and that's what

1012
01:07:18.119 --> 01:07:20.480
<v Speaker 3>we need to focus on in order to bring down

1013
01:07:20.519 --> 01:07:23.480
<v Speaker 3>the walls of lies. We need to focus on the

1014
01:07:23.559 --> 01:07:27.519
<v Speaker 3>truth and the truth of God's words. In Jeremiah, chapter one,

1015
01:07:27.639 --> 01:07:31.039
<v Speaker 3>verse five says, before I formed you in the womb,

1016
01:07:31.159 --> 01:07:36.199
<v Speaker 3>I knew you before you were born. I set you apart, right,

1017
01:07:36.840 --> 01:07:41.159
<v Speaker 3>So you know, if God set us apart, then that's

1018
01:07:41.280 --> 01:07:44.119
<v Speaker 3>that's a very important truth to hold on to. He's

1019
01:07:44.119 --> 01:07:46.599
<v Speaker 3>got a purpose for us. And you know, if we

1020
01:07:46.679 --> 01:07:51.320
<v Speaker 3>trust him, we believe in him, then he's the most important,

1021
01:07:52.320 --> 01:07:56.199
<v Speaker 3>being the most important person, and it doesn't matter who

1022
01:07:56.239 --> 01:07:59.639
<v Speaker 3>rejects us. We know that we are special and with

1023
01:07:59.840 --> 01:08:05.800
<v Speaker 3>the set apart even before we were born, so how

1024
01:08:05.800 --> 01:08:09.400
<v Speaker 3>do we bring down the strongholds of rejection. We need

1025
01:08:09.440 --> 01:08:14.920
<v Speaker 3>to be aware of ourselves and those people around us.

1026
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:19.920
<v Speaker 3>So it's really important to not connect ourselves to things

1027
01:08:19.960 --> 01:08:25.000
<v Speaker 3>and people who do not appreciate us who we are

1028
01:08:25.079 --> 01:08:28.359
<v Speaker 3>and what we bring to the table. I'm not saying that,

1029
01:08:28.439 --> 01:08:32.039
<v Speaker 3>you know, if somebody doesn't care for you know, how

1030
01:08:32.039 --> 01:08:35.640
<v Speaker 3>good we are in a certain sport or in a

1031
01:08:35.680 --> 01:08:38.279
<v Speaker 3>certain thing, we should just ignore them. But we need

1032
01:08:38.319 --> 01:08:46.279
<v Speaker 3>to be We need to assess the level of connection

1033
01:08:46.600 --> 01:08:50.479
<v Speaker 3>or intimacy we have with different types of people depending

1034
01:08:50.520 --> 01:08:56.199
<v Speaker 3>on how much they can appreciate what we actually bring

1035
01:08:56.279 --> 01:08:59.760
<v Speaker 3>to the table. And we need to be aware of

1036
01:08:59.800 --> 01:09:03.079
<v Speaker 3>the gifts and talents and the beauty that we actually

1037
01:09:03.119 --> 01:09:06.760
<v Speaker 3>bring to the table because God has given us gifts,

1038
01:09:06.880 --> 01:09:10.159
<v Speaker 3>power and authority to live out our lives with purpose.

1039
01:09:10.840 --> 01:09:14.239
<v Speaker 3>He says in Some one three nine, we're fearfully and

1040
01:09:14.560 --> 01:09:18.399
<v Speaker 3>wonderfully made. So you know, I think there's a scripture.

1041
01:09:18.880 --> 01:09:20.920
<v Speaker 3>I like to think of this scripture in the Bible

1042
01:09:20.960 --> 01:09:25.079
<v Speaker 3>that says do not cast your pells to swine. I

1043
01:09:25.119 --> 01:09:27.640
<v Speaker 3>think sometimes the problem is we don't even know that

1044
01:09:27.680 --> 01:09:32.119
<v Speaker 3>we've got pels. So we need to be aware of

1045
01:09:32.159 --> 01:09:36.720
<v Speaker 3>those pells that we have, and we need to kind

1046
01:09:36.760 --> 01:09:42.600
<v Speaker 3>of nurture them, cultivate them, and just just be careful

1047
01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:47.119
<v Speaker 3>how we connect with the people around us. What type

1048
01:09:47.119 --> 01:09:52.880
<v Speaker 3>of energy do they bring? Do they dampen our what

1049
01:09:52.960 --> 01:09:56.039
<v Speaker 3>we bring us skills, our talents, or do they encourage

1050
01:09:56.119 --> 01:10:00.760
<v Speaker 3>us to be better versions of ourselves? Do they validate us?

1051
01:10:01.359 --> 01:10:04.760
<v Speaker 3>So we need to think about who we're connecting with,

1052
01:10:06.600 --> 01:10:11.359
<v Speaker 3>and we need to work on getting rid of any pain,

1053
01:10:11.520 --> 01:10:16.520
<v Speaker 3>any bitterness that comes with being rejected. So it causes

1054
01:10:16.640 --> 01:10:21.439
<v Speaker 3>offense when we are rejected, right because we think, you know,

1055
01:10:21.840 --> 01:10:25.399
<v Speaker 3>why would you reject me? Like, you know, like Angela said,

1056
01:10:25.439 --> 01:10:29.159
<v Speaker 3>you know, some students said, you know, I've never been

1057
01:10:29.199 --> 01:10:33.600
<v Speaker 3>turned down for anything I don't understand, and that can

1058
01:10:33.720 --> 01:10:37.239
<v Speaker 3>be quite offensive to some people. But it's really important

1059
01:10:37.319 --> 01:10:41.479
<v Speaker 3>that we remember that rejection is an everyday thing. Everyone

1060
01:10:41.560 --> 01:10:45.880
<v Speaker 3>faces rejection, and we try not to be overcome by

1061
01:10:45.920 --> 01:10:49.840
<v Speaker 3>the offense of being rejected because if we focus on

1062
01:10:50.399 --> 01:10:53.039
<v Speaker 3>the fact that it's offensive, it's going to lead us

1063
01:10:53.119 --> 01:10:57.319
<v Speaker 3>to feeling bitter, to feeling angry, and that's not going

1064
01:10:57.399 --> 01:11:01.039
<v Speaker 3>to help us move forward. So instead, we need to

1065
01:11:01.079 --> 01:11:04.640
<v Speaker 3>refocus on the truth of God's description of us. As

1066
01:11:04.680 --> 01:11:08.680
<v Speaker 3>his child, created in his image for good works and

1067
01:11:08.720 --> 01:11:11.600
<v Speaker 3>with a special purpose. And we need to get up

1068
01:11:12.000 --> 01:11:16.000
<v Speaker 3>and we need to keep going. Right. The person who

1069
01:11:16.039 --> 01:11:19.520
<v Speaker 3>rejects you does not have the final say about you.

1070
01:11:19.680 --> 01:11:23.600
<v Speaker 3>God does. God's the one who has the final say

1071
01:11:23.640 --> 01:11:27.960
<v Speaker 3>about you. Right, So let's not get talking being bitter

1072
01:11:28.119 --> 01:11:32.199
<v Speaker 3>on feeling offended because we were rejected. We need to

1073
01:11:32.880 --> 01:11:38.880
<v Speaker 3>just recenter, regroup, understand who we are and whose we are,

1074
01:11:39.560 --> 01:11:43.119
<v Speaker 3>and focus on the purpose and the destiny that God

1075
01:11:43.159 --> 01:11:47.680
<v Speaker 3>has for us. We need to accept the reality of rejection.

1076
01:11:48.319 --> 01:11:48.560
<v Speaker 2>Right.

1077
01:11:48.760 --> 01:11:51.800
<v Speaker 3>So, like I've said, We've said so many times, you know,

1078
01:11:51.840 --> 01:11:54.880
<v Speaker 3>it's a reality that comes to all of us. So

1079
01:11:55.000 --> 01:11:58.439
<v Speaker 3>let go of your pride. Who you know? Do they

1080
01:11:58.520 --> 01:11:59.279
<v Speaker 3>know who I am?

1081
01:11:59.640 --> 01:11:59.840
<v Speaker 2>How?

1082
01:12:00.840 --> 01:12:03.800
<v Speaker 3>How dare you reject me with all of these talents

1083
01:12:03.840 --> 01:12:06.880
<v Speaker 3>that I bring to the table. Well, that that kind

1084
01:12:06.880 --> 01:12:09.680
<v Speaker 3>of level of pride will keep you in a place

1085
01:12:09.720 --> 01:12:14.159
<v Speaker 3>of pain because you're going to be stuck in trying

1086
01:12:14.199 --> 01:12:17.800
<v Speaker 3>to figure out why people have rejected you. But it's

1087
01:12:17.840 --> 01:12:20.680
<v Speaker 3>really important to keep moving, get out of the place

1088
01:12:20.720 --> 01:12:25.800
<v Speaker 3>of rejection so that you can get over it. So

1089
01:12:26.039 --> 01:12:31.800
<v Speaker 3>be open too and embrace other opportunities. It's really important

1090
01:12:31.840 --> 01:12:37.479
<v Speaker 3>that we understand that God always has another possibility. Right.

1091
01:12:37.960 --> 01:12:41.079
<v Speaker 3>God always has another plan for you. He has a

1092
01:12:41.119 --> 01:12:44.000
<v Speaker 3>purpose for your life, and He's got a plan for

1093
01:12:44.079 --> 01:12:48.880
<v Speaker 3>your life. God is a god of impossible possibilities. Just

1094
01:12:48.920 --> 01:12:53.039
<v Speaker 3>because one door shots doesn't mean that, you know, God

1095
01:12:53.159 --> 01:12:58.640
<v Speaker 3>is just not capable of finding or offering other and

1096
01:12:58.720 --> 01:13:02.119
<v Speaker 3>even better ways. He says, your thoughts are not my thoughts.

1097
01:13:02.399 --> 01:13:07.800
<v Speaker 3>My thoughts for you are higher and greater than your

1098
01:13:07.840 --> 01:13:11.600
<v Speaker 3>thoughts for yourself. So let's just focus on the one

1099
01:13:11.680 --> 01:13:15.119
<v Speaker 3>who can make all things possible. And instead of asking

1100
01:13:15.239 --> 01:13:19.159
<v Speaker 3>why you have been rejected, ask what next? Right you

1101
01:13:19.199 --> 01:13:22.680
<v Speaker 3>didn't get the job or you know, Dear Allison, We're

1102
01:13:22.800 --> 01:13:25.239
<v Speaker 3>very sorry to you know, thank you for applying for

1103
01:13:25.279 --> 01:13:29.399
<v Speaker 3>this position, having gone through all the applic applications, you

1104
01:13:29.439 --> 01:13:30.800
<v Speaker 3>don't meet the expectations.

1105
01:13:30.960 --> 01:13:31.600
<v Speaker 1>What next?

1106
01:13:32.239 --> 01:13:35.119
<v Speaker 3>Rather than I can't believe you know? My CV says

1107
01:13:35.680 --> 01:13:39.239
<v Speaker 3>AMD all of this criteria, how dare you not? You know,

1108
01:13:39.520 --> 01:13:45.520
<v Speaker 3>not employ me or recruit me? And also consider your

1109
01:13:45.560 --> 01:13:49.760
<v Speaker 3>rejection as a redirection and open your mind to new possibilities.

1110
01:13:50.119 --> 01:13:54.279
<v Speaker 3>There's always new possibilities out there, there's always alternatives. Or

1111
01:13:54.319 --> 01:13:57.880
<v Speaker 3>when I work with clients in therapy, it's one of

1112
01:13:57.920 --> 01:14:01.359
<v Speaker 3>the things I like to say is that they always alternatives.

1113
01:14:01.399 --> 01:14:06.000
<v Speaker 3>There's always another way of doing things. And God says again,

1114
01:14:06.479 --> 01:14:09.359
<v Speaker 3>for I know the plans I have for you, declares

1115
01:14:09.399 --> 01:14:12.920
<v Speaker 3>the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

1116
01:14:13.119 --> 01:14:17.680
<v Speaker 3>plans to give you a hope and a future. So

1117
01:14:17.960 --> 01:14:23.319
<v Speaker 3>in summary, just to pick up key points, we all

1118
01:14:23.399 --> 01:14:27.600
<v Speaker 3>experience rejection from others at different points in our lives,

1119
01:14:28.640 --> 01:14:33.680
<v Speaker 3>and rejection will cause us to experience challenging thoughts and feelings.

1120
01:14:34.119 --> 01:14:38.239
<v Speaker 3>The impact of rejection on us will depend on what

1121
01:14:38.359 --> 01:14:42.880
<v Speaker 3>we choose to believe. What we choose to believe, right,

1122
01:14:43.319 --> 01:14:45.920
<v Speaker 3>It's all down to us what we choose to believe.

1123
01:14:46.600 --> 01:14:50.520
<v Speaker 3>Rejection becomes a stronghold in our lives when we believe

1124
01:14:50.640 --> 01:14:54.359
<v Speaker 3>and act on thoughts that are contrary to the truth

1125
01:14:54.479 --> 01:15:00.000
<v Speaker 3>of what God says about you. Rejection becomes a stronghold

1126
01:15:00.119 --> 01:15:03.680
<v Speaker 3>in our lives when we believe and act and thoughts

1127
01:15:03.960 --> 01:15:09.119
<v Speaker 3>that are contrary to the truth of what God says

1128
01:15:09.279 --> 01:15:14.560
<v Speaker 3>about you. Also, choosing not to believe a lie about

1129
01:15:14.600 --> 01:15:18.279
<v Speaker 3>ourselves when we're rejected will open our minds to our

1130
01:15:18.359 --> 01:15:23.520
<v Speaker 3>true wealth and value in God and the possibilities of

1131
01:15:23.720 --> 01:15:28.359
<v Speaker 3>living our lives in line with God's purpose. Choosing not

1132
01:15:28.439 --> 01:15:32.000
<v Speaker 3>to believe a lie about ourselves when we are rejected

1133
01:15:32.079 --> 01:15:35.079
<v Speaker 3>will open our minds to our true wealth and value

1134
01:15:35.079 --> 01:15:38.560
<v Speaker 3>in God and the possibilities of living our lives in

1135
01:15:38.600 --> 01:15:43.239
<v Speaker 3>line with God's purpose. And finally, just to summarize, we

1136
01:15:43.319 --> 01:15:47.800
<v Speaker 3>can absolutely bring down the stronghold of rejection by choosing

1137
01:15:47.880 --> 01:15:50.760
<v Speaker 3>not to dwell on the fact that we have been

1138
01:15:50.800 --> 01:15:58.319
<v Speaker 3>rejected and by seeking God for other possibilities and other opportunities.

1139
01:15:59.239 --> 01:16:03.479
<v Speaker 3>So going to leave us with a few words of encouragement,

1140
01:16:05.039 --> 01:16:08.239
<v Speaker 3>and some of these are quotes from the Bible. From

1141
01:16:08.319 --> 01:16:12.960
<v Speaker 3>the Internet, I just picked up a few quotes. One

1142
01:16:13.239 --> 01:16:16.960
<v Speaker 3>is by Aristotle and it says, it is our darkest

1143
01:16:17.640 --> 01:16:22.000
<v Speaker 3>moments that we must focus to see the light. It

1144
01:16:22.159 --> 01:16:26.560
<v Speaker 3>is during our darkest moments that we must focus to

1145
01:16:26.680 --> 01:16:31.359
<v Speaker 3>see the light. And another quote says, often rejection is

1146
01:16:31.399 --> 01:16:36.840
<v Speaker 3>about the misalignment between you and others, not an indication

1147
01:16:37.399 --> 01:16:40.520
<v Speaker 3>of your word of value. And just on that, I

1148
01:16:40.600 --> 01:16:43.000
<v Speaker 3>just want to say that I think it's very important

1149
01:16:43.039 --> 01:16:47.399
<v Speaker 3>to consider that sometimes when people reject us, sometimes it's

1150
01:16:47.399 --> 01:16:51.640
<v Speaker 3>because they don't have the capacity to appreciate all of

1151
01:16:51.720 --> 01:16:55.279
<v Speaker 3>what we bring to the table, so they are rejecting

1152
01:16:55.840 --> 01:16:59.560
<v Speaker 3>because they're not able to take in or to appreciate

1153
01:17:00.479 --> 01:17:03.439
<v Speaker 3>who we are and what we bring. And if somebody

1154
01:17:03.479 --> 01:17:06.720
<v Speaker 3>doesn't have that capacity, there's no way they're going to

1155
01:17:06.800 --> 01:17:12.000
<v Speaker 3>embrace us because they just can't. Right. And so it's

1156
01:17:12.039 --> 01:17:14.399
<v Speaker 3>not because there's a problem with us.

1157
01:17:15.279 --> 01:17:18.439
<v Speaker 2>There's a saying sorry to direct that if you don't

1158
01:17:18.479 --> 01:17:20.800
<v Speaker 2>appreciate what I bring to the table, I'm happy to

1159
01:17:20.840 --> 01:17:21.399
<v Speaker 2>dine and learn.

1160
01:17:23.479 --> 01:17:29.520
<v Speaker 3>I like Sanya, thank you. And another one says, every

1161
01:17:29.560 --> 01:17:32.439
<v Speaker 3>time I thought I was being rejected from something good,

1162
01:17:32.520 --> 01:17:38.039
<v Speaker 3>I was actually being redirected to something better. So are

1163
01:17:38.039 --> 01:17:41.279
<v Speaker 3>you feeling rejected? I just want to encourage you that

1164
01:17:41.399 --> 01:17:45.520
<v Speaker 3>the Lord will take care of you, and he will

1165
01:17:45.560 --> 01:17:51.479
<v Speaker 3>take you in some of some Bible texts, like we've

1166
01:17:51.479 --> 01:17:55.079
<v Speaker 3>seen Jeremiah chapter one's five, before I formed you in

1167
01:17:55.079 --> 01:17:57.760
<v Speaker 3>the room, I knew you before you were born. I

1168
01:17:57.800 --> 01:18:02.560
<v Speaker 3>set you apart. Another text says, I've said before you

1169
01:18:02.800 --> 01:18:06.720
<v Speaker 3>and open door, and no one can shut it right.

1170
01:18:06.760 --> 01:18:09.560
<v Speaker 3>So sometimes in life we think those have been shut

1171
01:18:09.560 --> 01:18:13.279
<v Speaker 3>in our faces. But when God has opened the door

1172
01:18:13.319 --> 01:18:16.079
<v Speaker 3>for you, even though people might reject us, he will

1173
01:18:16.119 --> 01:18:19.680
<v Speaker 3>still navigate us to that door, to that open door,

1174
01:18:20.640 --> 01:18:23.359
<v Speaker 3>and he says, I will never leave you. I will

1175
01:18:23.399 --> 01:18:27.680
<v Speaker 3>never forsake you. And he says again, fear not, for

1176
01:18:27.880 --> 01:18:31.439
<v Speaker 3>I have redained you, I have called you by name,

1177
01:18:31.840 --> 01:18:40.359
<v Speaker 3>and you are mine Isaiah forty three, verst one. So finally, Reverend, remember,

1178
01:18:40.960 --> 01:18:45.279
<v Speaker 3>don't focus on those who walked away, but focus on

1179
01:18:45.319 --> 01:18:49.239
<v Speaker 3>the one who never left. His name is Jesus, and

1180
01:18:49.279 --> 01:18:53.720
<v Speaker 3>he will never leave us, or he will never forsake us.

1181
01:18:54.199 --> 01:18:58.520
<v Speaker 3>So we will win this battle. Why because the weapons

1182
01:18:58.520 --> 01:19:02.079
<v Speaker 3>of our warfare are not connel, but mighty in God,

1183
01:19:02.159 --> 01:19:07.039
<v Speaker 3>for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high

1184
01:19:07.039 --> 01:19:11.079
<v Speaker 3>thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing

1185
01:19:11.199 --> 01:19:16.159
<v Speaker 3>every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. And

1186
01:19:17.199 --> 01:19:19.560
<v Speaker 3>when we know the truth, and if we know the truth,

1187
01:19:19.760 --> 01:19:23.640
<v Speaker 3>indeed the truth will set us free John eight thirty two.

1188
01:19:24.239 --> 01:19:27.680
<v Speaker 3>Because if the sun sets us free, then we will

1189
01:19:27.800 --> 01:19:33.800
<v Speaker 3>be free. Indeed, that brings to an end my presentation

1190
01:19:34.000 --> 01:19:38.840
<v Speaker 3>today on dealing with rejection. Thank you back to Usenya.

1191
01:19:40.079 --> 01:19:44.079
<v Speaker 2>Thank you Allison Angela. Did you want to add anything,

1192
01:19:44.199 --> 01:19:47.079
<v Speaker 2>did anything kind of jump out at you in that

1193
01:19:47.279 --> 01:19:49.159
<v Speaker 2>segment You're on neut.

1194
01:19:51.600 --> 01:19:53.640
<v Speaker 1>But I'll kicked it off. I guess I was just

1195
01:19:53.720 --> 01:19:55.720
<v Speaker 1>kind of thinking in terms of you know, and I'm

1196
01:19:55.720 --> 01:19:58.119
<v Speaker 1>glad that obviously you've ended with some Bible text, because

1197
01:19:58.159 --> 01:20:01.720
<v Speaker 1>I guess I was thinking about you know, there's two

1198
01:20:01.760 --> 01:20:03.960
<v Speaker 1>questions that came to mind. You know, are there kind

1199
01:20:04.000 --> 01:20:07.720
<v Speaker 1>of obviously we deal with rejection, so they on different levels,

1200
01:20:08.279 --> 01:20:10.319
<v Speaker 1>the depth of them, et cetera. But are they kind

1201
01:20:10.319 --> 01:20:12.439
<v Speaker 1>of what are the kind of I don't know if

1202
01:20:12.439 --> 01:20:15.439
<v Speaker 1>you can say, of the healthy ways of dealing with rejection,

1203
01:20:15.680 --> 01:20:18.840
<v Speaker 1>because obviously, if they have such an emotional impact on us,

1204
01:20:19.239 --> 01:20:21.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, we've got to process that, We've got to

1205
01:20:21.520 --> 01:20:24.560
<v Speaker 1>kind of be able to move through it and move on.

1206
01:20:25.760 --> 01:20:27.840
<v Speaker 1>But how does one do that in a sort of

1207
01:20:27.880 --> 01:20:30.920
<v Speaker 1>practical way? But so I like the fact that you've,

1208
01:20:30.960 --> 01:20:33.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, you reminded us of the promises that God

1209
01:20:33.319 --> 01:20:36.399
<v Speaker 1>has given us, you know, but what are some of

1210
01:20:36.399 --> 01:20:39.680
<v Speaker 1>the other things that one can do to sort of

1211
01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:41.680
<v Speaker 1>say actually, And this is kind of leads in maybe

1212
01:20:41.720 --> 01:20:45.479
<v Speaker 1>into my second question. You know, how do we develop

1213
01:20:45.520 --> 01:20:49.760
<v Speaker 1>the resilience to be able to deal effectively with a

1214
01:20:49.840 --> 01:20:54.399
<v Speaker 1>reject rejection of whatever sorts, you know, to be able

1215
01:20:54.439 --> 01:20:57.079
<v Speaker 1>to then see that sometimes the rejection is not always

1216
01:20:57.399 --> 01:20:59.520
<v Speaker 1>a terrible thing. It might actually feel better because I

1217
01:20:59.560 --> 01:21:01.680
<v Speaker 1>was one of the It says, you know, the rejection

1218
01:21:01.800 --> 01:21:03.680
<v Speaker 1>may just be opening the doors for something much better.

1219
01:21:04.680 --> 01:21:07.680
<v Speaker 1>I guess there's two kind of questions linking in there

1220
01:21:08.399 --> 01:21:08.760
<v Speaker 1>on that.

1221
01:21:10.239 --> 01:21:13.800
<v Speaker 3>Very good question. So practically, and this is another thing

1222
01:21:13.880 --> 01:21:16.399
<v Speaker 3>that's in the book that I've just written on rejection.

1223
01:21:16.960 --> 01:21:20.720
<v Speaker 3>There's sections after every chapter and you know, dealing practically

1224
01:21:20.760 --> 01:21:24.239
<v Speaker 3>with rejection and how we can support other people who

1225
01:21:24.439 --> 01:21:28.560
<v Speaker 3>are going through rejection, So you know, finding somebody save

1226
01:21:28.880 --> 01:21:33.239
<v Speaker 3>and trusting who will empathize with us and who will

1227
01:21:33.359 --> 01:21:37.479
<v Speaker 3>validate us so that we can heal. Because rejection happens

1228
01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:41.399
<v Speaker 3>within the context of human relationships, and rejection will be

1229
01:21:41.479 --> 01:21:46.640
<v Speaker 3>healed also within the context of human relationships. So we

1230
01:21:46.760 --> 01:21:49.720
<v Speaker 3>need to be first of all aware of the triggers.

1231
01:21:49.760 --> 01:21:54.600
<v Speaker 3>So sometimes we've been through rejection that's kind of had

1232
01:21:54.640 --> 01:21:59.520
<v Speaker 3>a really huge impact on our mental emotional health, and

1233
01:21:59.600 --> 01:22:03.079
<v Speaker 3>a lot of things will trigger those negative feelings that

1234
01:22:03.119 --> 01:22:07.399
<v Speaker 3>are associated with the rejection. So let's become aware of them.

1235
01:22:07.560 --> 01:22:12.000
<v Speaker 3>Don't try to suppress what you felt when you were rejected.

1236
01:22:12.600 --> 01:22:16.520
<v Speaker 3>Acknowledge how bad it made you feel, and find somebody

1237
01:22:16.560 --> 01:22:19.960
<v Speaker 3>to express that too. So sometimes it might just be

1238
01:22:20.079 --> 01:22:23.199
<v Speaker 3>maybe talking to a friend who will understand who you're

1239
01:22:23.199 --> 01:22:27.359
<v Speaker 3>close to. Sometimes you need to go to therapy and

1240
01:22:27.439 --> 01:22:31.920
<v Speaker 3>do some deep work in therapy. Sometimes maybe journaling writing,

1241
01:22:32.560 --> 01:22:35.760
<v Speaker 3>you know, writing how you felt. But find an outlet

1242
01:22:36.000 --> 01:22:42.159
<v Speaker 3>to acknowledge and validate the emotions that you felt. When

1243
01:22:42.199 --> 01:22:45.760
<v Speaker 3>you experience a rejection and you know, do something about it,

1244
01:22:45.800 --> 01:22:48.319
<v Speaker 3>get some help if you if you need to get help,

1245
01:22:49.920 --> 01:22:52.640
<v Speaker 3>you know, be around people who will celebrate you, right,

1246
01:22:52.840 --> 01:22:56.159
<v Speaker 3>be around people who are authentic, who will correct you

1247
01:22:56.199 --> 01:22:59.960
<v Speaker 3>in love, and who will celebrate you. Sometimes we are

1248
01:23:00.760 --> 01:23:03.279
<v Speaker 3>around people who are very critical, or sometimes we can

1249
01:23:03.319 --> 01:23:06.680
<v Speaker 3>be around people who can be quite maybe passive aggressive,

1250
01:23:07.119 --> 01:23:11.479
<v Speaker 3>and that's really very unhealthy when you've experienced really harsh

1251
01:23:11.520 --> 01:23:14.760
<v Speaker 3>reject rejection. So I think one of the first things

1252
01:23:14.840 --> 01:23:18.199
<v Speaker 3>is self awareness so that you can stop that cycle

1253
01:23:18.239 --> 01:23:20.520
<v Speaker 3>and so that you can stop yourself from being self

1254
01:23:20.560 --> 01:23:25.680
<v Speaker 3>rejecting as well. But finding an outlet, finding people that

1255
01:23:25.720 --> 01:23:28.840
<v Speaker 3>you can talk to, people that who will validate you,

1256
01:23:29.439 --> 01:23:33.880
<v Speaker 3>and also soothing doing things that are kind of self soothing,

1257
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:37.439
<v Speaker 3>so you know, being kind, compassionate to yourself. Watch what

1258
01:23:37.479 --> 01:23:41.079
<v Speaker 3>you say to yourself. Some people are very good at

1259
01:23:41.279 --> 01:23:45.680
<v Speaker 3>kind of labeling themselves negatively, like I'm so stupid or

1260
01:23:45.920 --> 01:23:48.239
<v Speaker 3>you know, it just sounds like a figure of speech,

1261
01:23:48.279 --> 01:23:51.520
<v Speaker 3>but what you're doing is you're self rejecting. So watch

1262
01:23:51.680 --> 01:23:55.359
<v Speaker 3>what you say to yourself and use, you know, what

1263
01:23:55.399 --> 01:23:59.560
<v Speaker 3>God says about you to repeat that about yourself when

1264
01:23:59.600 --> 01:24:04.920
<v Speaker 3>you talk about yourself or when you refer to yourself self.

1265
01:24:04.920 --> 01:24:08.880
<v Speaker 3>So do things that you enjoy doing, you know, you know,

1266
01:24:08.880 --> 01:24:11.560
<v Speaker 3>if you like to play musical instruments, if you like

1267
01:24:11.600 --> 01:24:14.800
<v Speaker 3>to go to the spa, show yourself some self love

1268
01:24:14.840 --> 01:24:19.000
<v Speaker 3>and self compassion, because that's really really important to build

1269
01:24:19.039 --> 01:24:22.039
<v Speaker 3>your resilience. Those are just some of the practical things

1270
01:24:22.079 --> 01:24:28.920
<v Speaker 3>you can do. The other question, it's.

1271
01:24:28.800 --> 01:24:29.920
<v Speaker 2>About building resulting into it.

1272
01:24:30.079 --> 01:24:32.479
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, so you kind of you did kind of

1273
01:24:32.520 --> 01:24:35.239
<v Speaker 1>answer that. Yes, I was just thinking, yeah, is that

1274
01:24:35.560 --> 01:24:37.279
<v Speaker 1>But I like it and I like also as you

1275
01:24:37.319 --> 01:24:40.119
<v Speaker 1>said about you know, it's not necessarily that you have

1276
01:24:40.199 --> 01:24:42.239
<v Speaker 1>to deal with it yourself. It is during on the

1277
01:24:42.239 --> 01:24:45.720
<v Speaker 1>support of others. And I guess in terms of flipping

1278
01:24:45.760 --> 01:24:48.159
<v Speaker 1>that then in terms of how we can support other

1279
01:24:48.159 --> 01:24:49.960
<v Speaker 1>people who are doing it. You know, what practical advice

1280
01:24:50.000 --> 01:24:52.880
<v Speaker 1>would you give to us somebody who is trying to

1281
01:24:52.880 --> 01:24:55.880
<v Speaker 1>support somebody, you know, and the common ones I guess

1282
01:24:55.880 --> 01:24:59.079
<v Speaker 1>would be, you know, things around relationships, as you said,

1283
01:24:59.279 --> 01:25:03.039
<v Speaker 1>is a romantic relationships or a breakdown of it could

1284
01:25:03.039 --> 01:25:06.239
<v Speaker 1>be a breakdown of a relationship for instance, or sort

1285
01:25:06.279 --> 01:25:09.640
<v Speaker 1>of like in the job search and job hunting, especially

1286
01:25:09.640 --> 01:25:12.159
<v Speaker 1>in this kind of climate as well. You know, we're

1287
01:25:12.239 --> 01:25:14.960
<v Speaker 1>kind of you know, what do we call it, the

1288
01:25:15.520 --> 01:25:18.319
<v Speaker 1>oh something crisis? I can't remember the cost of living

1289
01:25:18.319 --> 01:25:23.479
<v Speaker 1>crisis living, you know, so and obviously over COVID, so

1290
01:25:23.560 --> 01:25:27.520
<v Speaker 1>many people lost their jobs due to the situation, so

1291
01:25:28.039 --> 01:25:30.199
<v Speaker 1>I guess, you know, and then trying to find something else.

1292
01:25:30.760 --> 01:25:32.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, there's a lot of people they've been in

1293
01:25:32.880 --> 01:25:34.840
<v Speaker 1>jobs for many, many years and then suddenly they're thrown

1294
01:25:34.880 --> 01:25:37.399
<v Speaker 1>back into the job market trying to apply. So what

1295
01:25:37.439 --> 01:25:39.720
<v Speaker 1>can you know, what can people do to help support

1296
01:25:39.840 --> 01:25:42.359
<v Speaker 1>those who are having to deal with that, which for

1297
01:25:42.479 --> 01:25:44.600
<v Speaker 1>so many people it could be quite a new experience

1298
01:25:44.720 --> 01:25:47.760
<v Speaker 1>and definitely a painful one at times as well.

1299
01:25:48.960 --> 01:25:50.880
<v Speaker 3>Obviously, you know, one of the first things to do

1300
01:25:51.079 --> 01:25:54.319
<v Speaker 3>is to just you know, be available to listen, and

1301
01:25:54.760 --> 01:25:59.960
<v Speaker 3>that's just listening without rushing to offer your own you're

1302
01:26:00.119 --> 01:26:02.720
<v Speaker 3>advice or what you think they should do. So, you know,

1303
01:26:02.880 --> 01:26:08.000
<v Speaker 3>be available to listen, and that means validating how they feel.

1304
01:26:08.760 --> 01:26:11.439
<v Speaker 3>You know, it's it's okay to feel this way. It's

1305
01:26:11.600 --> 01:26:16.239
<v Speaker 3>normalize how they're feeling. And then maybe if you're if

1306
01:26:16.279 --> 01:26:21.239
<v Speaker 3>it's appropriate, you know, share how you have been rejected

1307
01:26:21.279 --> 01:26:24.000
<v Speaker 3>as well in the past, you know, because I think

1308
01:26:24.039 --> 01:26:28.319
<v Speaker 3>sometimes it can be quite feel quite isolating if we think, well,

1309
01:26:28.520 --> 01:26:31.960
<v Speaker 3>there's something wrong with me. You know, nobody is going

1310
01:26:32.039 --> 01:26:35.039
<v Speaker 3>to take me on. But if people can, if you

1311
01:26:35.079 --> 01:26:38.520
<v Speaker 3>can relate, if people can relate to your own experiences

1312
01:26:38.560 --> 01:26:42.640
<v Speaker 3>as well, share those and then empower the other person

1313
01:26:42.760 --> 01:26:47.000
<v Speaker 3>by you know, thinking through with them, you know, practical

1314
01:26:47.239 --> 01:26:50.680
<v Speaker 3>alternatives of what they can do, not just tell them,

1315
01:26:50.720 --> 01:26:54.439
<v Speaker 3>but you know, maybe be socratic, ask them, you know,

1316
01:26:54.960 --> 01:26:57.439
<v Speaker 3>what have you thought about what else might be available?

1317
01:26:57.680 --> 01:27:01.000
<v Speaker 3>Have you thought about other options? You have you thought

1318
01:27:01.000 --> 01:27:03.880
<v Speaker 3>about where to go to get additional support so that

1319
01:27:03.920 --> 01:27:08.760
<v Speaker 3>they can start building their resilience and thinking about alternatives

1320
01:27:09.119 --> 01:27:11.720
<v Speaker 3>as well. And then you know, just you know, practical

1321
01:27:11.840 --> 01:27:13.600
<v Speaker 3>things that you can do with them. Maybe you can

1322
01:27:13.720 --> 01:27:17.239
<v Speaker 3>accompany them to a job center or you know, do

1323
01:27:17.359 --> 01:27:20.600
<v Speaker 3>something fun with them. But you know, just being available,

1324
01:27:20.840 --> 01:27:26.520
<v Speaker 3>being able to listen, validating, normalizing, all of those things

1325
01:27:26.800 --> 01:27:27.399
<v Speaker 3>are helpful.

1326
01:27:29.439 --> 01:27:32.479
<v Speaker 2>Alison, what would you say to a and it may

1327
01:27:32.520 --> 01:27:35.239
<v Speaker 2>be very much what you've shared already, but what would

1328
01:27:35.239 --> 01:27:39.640
<v Speaker 2>you say to a young person that is feeling rejected

1329
01:27:39.800 --> 01:27:44.560
<v Speaker 2>and really feeling that feeling anger and resentment to the

1330
01:27:44.560 --> 01:27:47.840
<v Speaker 2>point that they want to retaliate or to hurt themselves

1331
01:27:47.960 --> 01:27:50.239
<v Speaker 2>or to hurt others. I mean, because I feel like

1332
01:27:50.279 --> 01:27:55.119
<v Speaker 2>we're dealing with a generation who don't really process as

1333
01:27:55.119 --> 01:27:59.439
<v Speaker 2>they ought to, maybe because they don't have the right

1334
01:28:00.119 --> 01:28:03.159
<v Speaker 2>port networks around them, maybe because of the games and

1335
01:28:03.840 --> 01:28:05.680
<v Speaker 2>all the maladies in society.

1336
01:28:05.279 --> 01:28:05.760
<v Speaker 1>At the moment.

1337
01:28:05.800 --> 01:28:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we can, we can point fingers all day

1338
01:28:08.039 --> 01:28:11.000
<v Speaker 2>if we like, but the fact of the matter is

1339
01:28:11.000 --> 01:28:14.600
<v Speaker 2>we need to start finding solutions for these problems. And

1340
01:28:14.640 --> 01:28:17.039
<v Speaker 2>that's why for me talking point is so near and

1341
01:28:17.079 --> 01:28:21.319
<v Speaker 2>dear because it's bringing these conversations to the forefront. Because

1342
01:28:21.359 --> 01:28:26.039
<v Speaker 2>a lot of this starts with having healthy conversations, you know,

1343
01:28:26.199 --> 01:28:29.239
<v Speaker 2>talking about the issue, dealing with the issue, bringing the

1344
01:28:30.079 --> 01:28:35.560
<v Speaker 2>players into into the room, the you know, the stakeholders.

1345
01:28:35.920 --> 01:28:39.760
<v Speaker 2>So just to our young people, if you.

1346
01:28:39.760 --> 01:28:44.000
<v Speaker 3>If you are young, young people probably slightly different from yes,

1347
01:28:44.439 --> 01:28:48.640
<v Speaker 3>we will deal with the older people, not old old

1348
01:28:50.119 --> 01:28:54.920
<v Speaker 3>than young, but I think with the younger people it's more,

1349
01:28:55.199 --> 01:28:59.640
<v Speaker 3>you know, being available, it's more being interested in them,

1350
01:28:59.760 --> 01:29:03.600
<v Speaker 3>and what they do is less talking and more more

1351
01:29:03.680 --> 01:29:08.159
<v Speaker 3>being with them. And I think that's something that you know,

1352
01:29:08.319 --> 01:29:11.520
<v Speaker 3>older people find very difficult. They just find it easier

1353
01:29:11.560 --> 01:29:14.359
<v Speaker 3>to tell young people. But our young people, we have

1354
01:29:14.439 --> 01:29:17.600
<v Speaker 3>to remember, have a lot of information at their fingertips

1355
01:29:17.920 --> 01:29:19.760
<v Speaker 3>and a lot of what we might be saying might

1356
01:29:19.800 --> 01:29:22.000
<v Speaker 3>not be new to them. But what would be new

1357
01:29:22.039 --> 01:29:26.600
<v Speaker 3>to them is that kind of sense of belonging that

1358
01:29:26.640 --> 01:29:30.600
<v Speaker 3>they have that they're not experiencing that's making them feel

1359
01:29:31.560 --> 01:29:36.279
<v Speaker 3>rejected and lonely. And so you know, being accepting of

1360
01:29:36.399 --> 01:29:41.359
<v Speaker 3>them just as they are, and you know, and taking

1361
01:29:41.399 --> 01:29:44.479
<v Speaker 3>a real interest. Right, so if they're into football, what

1362
01:29:44.640 --> 01:29:48.039
<v Speaker 3>team do they support? When are the games having a

1363
01:29:48.199 --> 01:29:53.159
<v Speaker 3>shared kind of point of conversation on their terms, not

1364
01:29:53.239 --> 01:29:58.119
<v Speaker 3>on our terms. So because remember, if they're feeling rejected,

1365
01:29:58.279 --> 01:30:01.560
<v Speaker 3>it means that you know, if you're all you're doing

1366
01:30:01.640 --> 01:30:05.000
<v Speaker 3>is telling them what to do, is is indirectly you're

1367
01:30:05.079 --> 01:30:09.199
<v Speaker 3>just criticizing them, which is rejecting, which you're just reinforcing

1368
01:30:09.239 --> 01:30:13.800
<v Speaker 3>that message. So it's it's really for example, sometimes when

1369
01:30:13.840 --> 01:30:16.840
<v Speaker 3>we have we do therapy with younger people, which we

1370
01:30:16.920 --> 01:30:22.279
<v Speaker 3>try to mirror how they're addressed, how they're they're expressing themselves,

1371
01:30:22.359 --> 01:30:26.560
<v Speaker 3>how they're sitting, you know, and sometimes you know, we

1372
01:30:26.680 --> 01:30:30.720
<v Speaker 3>might lower ourselves to kind of sit on the ground

1373
01:30:30.720 --> 01:30:33.119
<v Speaker 3>with them and do you know, do what they do,

1374
01:30:33.279 --> 01:30:36.880
<v Speaker 3>be part of them, and make them feel a sense

1375
01:30:36.920 --> 01:30:41.239
<v Speaker 3>of actually I feel comfortable. I feel like I really

1376
01:30:41.399 --> 01:30:44.920
<v Speaker 3>kind of belong here with this person. So I think

1377
01:30:45.000 --> 01:30:48.319
<v Speaker 3>with the young people, it's more the being than the talking.

1378
01:30:49.880 --> 01:30:51.319
<v Speaker 1>I think also a lot of it, and this is

1379
01:30:51.359 --> 01:30:53.079
<v Speaker 1>going back to what we're talk a little bit of

1380
01:30:53.079 --> 01:30:55.880
<v Speaker 1>it at the beginning about you know, parenting and kind

1381
01:30:55.880 --> 01:30:59.800
<v Speaker 1>of the preparation, you know, having these conversations as well

1382
01:31:00.079 --> 01:31:02.439
<v Speaker 1>out you know that things aren't always going to and

1383
01:31:02.479 --> 01:31:04.239
<v Speaker 1>then kind of feeds into a lot of things are

1384
01:31:04.239 --> 01:31:06.840
<v Speaker 1>always going to work out. There may be times where

1385
01:31:07.239 --> 01:31:09.720
<v Speaker 1>you will whatever we call it, because I guess rejection

1386
01:31:09.880 --> 01:31:11.920
<v Speaker 1>kind of comes to different forms. So you know, you

1387
01:31:12.000 --> 01:31:15.439
<v Speaker 1>might not get that job or relationship may not work out,

1388
01:31:15.680 --> 01:31:18.199
<v Speaker 1>or you may not get the grades that you wanted,

1389
01:31:18.600 --> 01:31:20.479
<v Speaker 1>you know, so that means you may not get into

1390
01:31:20.960 --> 01:31:23.359
<v Speaker 1>the job or the university or the college of whatever

1391
01:31:23.359 --> 01:31:25.319
<v Speaker 1>you want to go and do. So I guess the

1392
01:31:25.359 --> 01:31:27.560
<v Speaker 1>more that we kind of have those conversations and don't

1393
01:31:27.560 --> 01:31:30.239
<v Speaker 1>sort of shy away from that. Yeah, this is the

1394
01:31:30.319 --> 01:31:34.119
<v Speaker 1>realities sometimes, the harsh realities of life that we're going

1395
01:31:34.159 --> 01:31:34.880
<v Speaker 1>to go through.

1396
01:31:35.680 --> 01:31:39.479
<v Speaker 3>The devil is the hush, But you're still loved. Right.

1397
01:31:39.680 --> 01:31:43.319
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's the word, isn't it. I don't want to

1398
01:31:43.359 --> 01:31:46.239
<v Speaker 2>say magic word, but but there is some some mystery

1399
01:31:46.279 --> 01:31:50.600
<v Speaker 2>to it. But it's the overarching principle that love, our

1400
01:31:50.680 --> 01:31:53.560
<v Speaker 2>love for each other and God's love for us that

1401
01:31:53.720 --> 01:31:54.680
<v Speaker 2>really helps us.

1402
01:31:56.279 --> 01:32:01.119
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, because society is so fixated on, you know, achieving

1403
01:32:01.199 --> 01:32:04.520
<v Speaker 3>this and achieving that, and you know, but the reality

1404
01:32:04.640 --> 01:32:08.199
<v Speaker 3>is that we all have talents. You know, the Parable

1405
01:32:08.239 --> 01:32:12.399
<v Speaker 3>of the talents talks about everyone has. If it's not one,

1406
01:32:12.520 --> 01:32:15.960
<v Speaker 3>it's two, it's fine. But God is gracious and we

1407
01:32:16.079 --> 01:32:19.000
<v Speaker 3>are all good at something and we need to be

1408
01:32:19.279 --> 01:32:24.319
<v Speaker 3>loving and accepting. And you know, if someboding is not academic,

1409
01:32:25.119 --> 01:32:29.079
<v Speaker 3>they will be good at other things. So it's just that, Yes, Angela,

1410
01:32:29.199 --> 01:32:33.720
<v Speaker 3>it's really important that we have those real conversations and say,

1411
01:32:34.199 --> 01:32:38.159
<v Speaker 3>you know, life's not always going to embrace your. People

1412
01:32:38.199 --> 01:32:40.199
<v Speaker 3>are out there not always going to embrace you, but

1413
01:32:40.840 --> 01:32:44.960
<v Speaker 3>here in me, you're always loved you're always accepted, and

1414
01:32:45.560 --> 01:32:48.920
<v Speaker 3>you know, just just come and talk to me, and

1415
01:32:48.479 --> 01:32:52.119
<v Speaker 3>I'm here for you. There will be people who will

1416
01:32:52.479 --> 01:32:54.800
<v Speaker 3>always love you and accept you for who you are.

1417
01:32:56.840 --> 01:32:58.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think it's also on the flip side as well.

1418
01:32:59.000 --> 01:33:02.159
<v Speaker 1>We talked about, you know, being rejected, but sometimes thinking

1419
01:33:02.199 --> 01:33:05.119
<v Speaker 1>about how we approach people and things how we come

1420
01:33:05.159 --> 01:33:09.399
<v Speaker 1>across because inadvertently we could be the one doing the

1421
01:33:09.439 --> 01:33:12.279
<v Speaker 1>rejecting in terms of the way we talk to people,

1422
01:33:12.479 --> 01:33:15.159
<v Speaker 1>how we say things. So again, it's important for us

1423
01:33:15.159 --> 01:33:18.119
<v Speaker 1>to be mindful as well. And you know, if we

1424
01:33:18.159 --> 01:33:21.720
<v Speaker 1>see those challenges within ourselves, to be self aware reflects

1425
01:33:21.800 --> 01:33:24.119
<v Speaker 1>on that to think, actually, how can I approach things?

1426
01:33:24.119 --> 01:33:27.479
<v Speaker 1>How can I talk about something different? Because our criticisms,

1427
01:33:27.560 --> 01:33:30.920
<v Speaker 1>our judgments, you know, could be this part of the

1428
01:33:30.960 --> 01:33:31.840
<v Speaker 1>problems as well.

1429
01:33:32.000 --> 01:33:37.479
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, and different people will be impacted differently, So

1430
01:33:37.720 --> 01:33:40.319
<v Speaker 3>what we think might not be a big deal might

1431
01:33:40.359 --> 01:33:43.319
<v Speaker 3>actually be quite a big deal for somebody else.

1432
01:33:44.439 --> 01:33:47.840
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, yeah, that's a word at the moment, doesn't it.

1433
01:33:47.920 --> 01:33:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Being mindful and just being conscious of other people and

1434
01:33:51.960 --> 01:33:55.119
<v Speaker 2>how I think of even the workplace. You know, Yes,

1435
01:33:55.199 --> 01:33:57.880
<v Speaker 2>there's some hush and hard messages that need to be

1436
01:33:57.920 --> 01:34:00.479
<v Speaker 2>delivered but it's how you package it, it's what you say,

1437
01:34:00.479 --> 01:34:03.399
<v Speaker 2>it's how you say it. Building relationships, even in terms

1438
01:34:03.399 --> 01:34:07.800
<v Speaker 2>of our young people building relationships and understanding them and

1439
01:34:07.840 --> 01:34:11.840
<v Speaker 2>them understanding us, will foster that environment where you can yes,

1440
01:34:12.000 --> 01:34:14.560
<v Speaker 2>say no, or you can say it can't be yours,

1441
01:34:14.640 --> 01:34:16.920
<v Speaker 2>or you say it's not your time, or whatever it

1442
01:34:17.039 --> 01:34:20.800
<v Speaker 2>might be. It's rejection, but because of how it's packaged

1443
01:34:20.840 --> 01:34:23.439
<v Speaker 2>and because of how how you've presented it, all because

1444
01:34:23.479 --> 01:34:26.520
<v Speaker 2>of who it's coming from, it doesn't hit as harshly

1445
01:34:27.880 --> 01:34:32.359
<v Speaker 2>as it probably could have. So that for me, Angela,

1446
01:34:32.399 --> 01:34:33.880
<v Speaker 2>you took the words out of my mouth in terms

1447
01:34:33.880 --> 01:34:36.800
<v Speaker 2>of not only being rejected, but being the one saying

1448
01:34:37.359 --> 01:34:39.720
<v Speaker 2>saying no or saying you know, you're not the right

1449
01:34:39.760 --> 01:34:43.760
<v Speaker 2>fit for the right person for me, and you know,

1450
01:34:43.840 --> 01:34:45.399
<v Speaker 2>being able to do that sympathetically.

1451
01:34:46.640 --> 01:34:49.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean you talk about that in the workplace.

1452
01:34:49.000 --> 01:34:52.479
<v Speaker 3>That brings me to my the other book which I published.

1453
01:34:53.920 --> 01:34:54.720
<v Speaker 2>See, that's what I was.

1454
01:34:54.840 --> 01:34:58.359
<v Speaker 3>That was that was the cue for me to talk from.

1455
01:34:59.199 --> 01:35:02.000
<v Speaker 3>And you know the title of that book, it's on Amazon.

1456
01:35:02.119 --> 01:35:07.399
<v Speaker 3>It's Relating for Success and it's you know, achieving optimum

1457
01:35:07.560 --> 01:35:13.479
<v Speaker 3>organizational growth and effectiveness through positive relationships. So you know,

1458
01:35:14.000 --> 01:35:17.439
<v Speaker 3>you know, I've been in leadership and management in quite

1459
01:35:17.439 --> 01:35:22.119
<v Speaker 3>big organizations as well and had the privilege of managing

1460
01:35:22.520 --> 01:35:26.359
<v Speaker 3>or leading. I like to use leading rather than people,

1461
01:35:26.920 --> 01:35:32.600
<v Speaker 3>And I pride myself always in those relationships in people

1462
01:35:32.760 --> 01:35:38.079
<v Speaker 3>feeling blessed that they have me as a leader, because

1463
01:35:38.159 --> 01:35:40.359
<v Speaker 3>you know, we spend so much time at work in

1464
01:35:40.399 --> 01:35:44.079
<v Speaker 3>those work relationships, and you know that bound to impact

1465
01:35:44.159 --> 01:35:47.520
<v Speaker 3>on our mental and emotional wellbeing. And so your manager

1466
01:35:47.640 --> 01:35:52.000
<v Speaker 3>or your leader and your colleagues have a huge role

1467
01:35:52.439 --> 01:35:56.279
<v Speaker 3>to play in terms of your your mental and emotional wellbeing.

1468
01:35:56.359 --> 01:36:02.000
<v Speaker 3>So those organizational relationships and making sure those relationships ships

1469
01:36:02.000 --> 01:36:06.920
<v Speaker 3>are constructive and positive, it's really really important. And that's

1470
01:36:06.960 --> 01:36:08.039
<v Speaker 3>what that book is about.

1471
01:36:11.159 --> 01:36:13.680
<v Speaker 2>I think for me, if we're to conclude what I

1472
01:36:14.319 --> 01:36:17.159
<v Speaker 2>what I really will put from this is that rejection

1473
01:36:17.319 --> 01:36:21.880
<v Speaker 2>is redirection. I really love that, you know it rejection

1474
01:36:22.079 --> 01:36:24.520
<v Speaker 2>takes the form I mean, sometimes I get really offended

1475
01:36:24.560 --> 01:36:26.439
<v Speaker 2>when the bus driver doesn't stop at the bus stop

1476
01:36:26.479 --> 01:36:30.760
<v Speaker 2>for me. I have to be really honest. If I'm

1477
01:36:30.800 --> 01:36:32.960
<v Speaker 2>there and I'm running to the bus and I'm not

1478
01:36:33.079 --> 01:36:36.039
<v Speaker 2>being and I can't see the reason for him to

1479
01:36:36.079 --> 01:36:38.840
<v Speaker 2>be driving off, I'm right there. Why are you driving off?

1480
01:36:39.039 --> 01:36:41.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, we're all in this together. But he may

1481
01:36:41.640 --> 01:36:44.439
<v Speaker 2>have his own agenda, he may have time keeping and

1482
01:36:44.520 --> 01:36:47.039
<v Speaker 2>all that to worry about. And I'm like, I'm very,

1483
01:36:47.119 --> 01:36:49.640
<v Speaker 2>very upset about this. But when you think about it,

1484
01:36:50.000 --> 01:36:52.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe like you said, this is this is an opportunity

1485
01:36:52.960 --> 01:36:55.359
<v Speaker 2>to sit back down and talk to the person who's

1486
01:36:55.399 --> 01:36:56.079
<v Speaker 2>come next to me.

1487
01:36:56.600 --> 01:36:57.119
<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's not.

1488
01:36:57.439 --> 01:37:00.000
<v Speaker 2>It's an opportunity to do something else, or I've just

1489
01:37:00.159 --> 01:37:04.279
<v Speaker 2>missed out on disaster. Because God's timing is in everything.

1490
01:37:04.720 --> 01:37:07.960
<v Speaker 2>So you know, it's about how we look at things.

1491
01:37:07.960 --> 01:37:11.640
<v Speaker 2>It's about perspective, and that for me is what I

1492
01:37:11.640 --> 01:37:14.640
<v Speaker 2>will take away from the discussion today. And like we

1493
01:37:14.680 --> 01:37:17.880
<v Speaker 2>said at the top, these conversations need to happen, need

1494
01:37:17.920 --> 01:37:21.119
<v Speaker 2>to happen regularly. If you've missed any of the series,

1495
01:37:21.159 --> 01:37:22.800
<v Speaker 2>then you know you can find it on speak and

1496
01:37:22.840 --> 01:37:25.760
<v Speaker 2>this will also be available on Spreaker and Alison, I'm

1497
01:37:25.800 --> 01:37:30.720
<v Speaker 2>not sure if you're taking you're taking new clients or whatever,

1498
01:37:30.800 --> 01:37:34.720
<v Speaker 2>but we can also make the information available two persons

1499
01:37:34.720 --> 01:37:36.920
<v Speaker 2>as how they can get in touch with you and

1500
01:37:37.039 --> 01:37:40.399
<v Speaker 2>also how they can get your books. If anybody wants

1501
01:37:40.439 --> 01:37:42.640
<v Speaker 2>an information and contact the station and will be sure

1502
01:37:43.079 --> 01:37:46.319
<v Speaker 2>to pass that information along. But yes, that for me

1503
01:37:46.399 --> 01:37:49.279
<v Speaker 2>is the crux of this matter. God has a plan

1504
01:37:49.359 --> 01:37:52.760
<v Speaker 2>for us all, and we need not see rejection as

1505
01:37:53.039 --> 01:37:57.520
<v Speaker 2>the end all. It may be God redirecting us. It

1506
01:37:57.560 --> 01:37:59.800
<v Speaker 2>could even be him telling us, all right, it's time

1507
01:37:59.840 --> 01:38:02.439
<v Speaker 2>to step step up our game. You didn't get this

1508
01:38:02.560 --> 01:38:05.560
<v Speaker 2>job because you didn't fit the criteria, you didn't have

1509
01:38:05.640 --> 01:38:08.399
<v Speaker 2>the right skill sets. Go and study something, Go on

1510
01:38:08.479 --> 01:38:10.680
<v Speaker 2>and get yourself better so the next time you can,

1511
01:38:11.159 --> 01:38:13.119
<v Speaker 2>you'll be the one that we picked out of the lineup.

1512
01:38:13.600 --> 01:38:16.800
<v Speaker 2>So let's not always think of it as negative. In fact,

1513
01:38:16.880 --> 01:38:20.079
<v Speaker 2>let's never think of it as negative. It's God. It's

1514
01:38:20.079 --> 01:38:23.560
<v Speaker 2>got aligning our steps. He's directing our path.

1515
01:38:24.560 --> 01:38:27.239
<v Speaker 3>I think you know the scripture that says all things

1516
01:38:27.319 --> 01:38:29.960
<v Speaker 3>work together for good for those who love God and

1517
01:38:30.000 --> 01:38:33.600
<v Speaker 3>those who are called according to His purpose, really comes

1518
01:38:33.600 --> 01:38:37.479
<v Speaker 3>to fall here, because you know, I can tell you

1519
01:38:37.520 --> 01:38:41.079
<v Speaker 3>of several occasions where I've been passed over at work

1520
01:38:41.159 --> 01:38:43.800
<v Speaker 3>for a promotion, or I've been made redundant, and I've

1521
01:38:43.960 --> 01:38:49.640
<v Speaker 3>only been thankful for those open men. All things do

1522
01:38:49.760 --> 01:38:52.079
<v Speaker 3>work together for good for those who love God and

1523
01:38:52.119 --> 01:38:54.359
<v Speaker 3>those who are called according to His purpose.

1524
01:38:55.800 --> 01:38:57.720
<v Speaker 2>And you don't if you have final words and then

1525
01:38:57.720 --> 01:38:58.920
<v Speaker 2>if you could just close us out.

1526
01:38:58.960 --> 01:39:00.359
<v Speaker 1>Well I was just going to say that, but that's

1527
01:39:00.399 --> 01:39:02.720
<v Speaker 1>a perfect one, I guess, you know, to recognize that,

1528
01:39:03.079 --> 01:39:06.199
<v Speaker 1>you know, God is in control, and sometimes we just

1529
01:39:06.239 --> 01:39:09.520
<v Speaker 1>have to we have to believe that. Sometimes we're just

1530
01:39:09.600 --> 01:39:11.760
<v Speaker 1>not going to see You're not going to see it,

1531
01:39:11.800 --> 01:39:14.319
<v Speaker 1>to be honest, but that's where our trust and faith

1532
01:39:14.319 --> 01:39:17.279
<v Speaker 1>in God has to come into play, as she said,

1533
01:39:17.279 --> 01:39:19.520
<v Speaker 1>to know that, you know, he's got under control, he's

1534
01:39:19.560 --> 01:39:22.199
<v Speaker 1>got the best for us, and sometimes that has just

1535
01:39:22.239 --> 01:39:24.840
<v Speaker 1>given us a bit of a reality check, he said,

1536
01:39:24.880 --> 01:39:26.720
<v Speaker 1>to say, you know, okay, we've got to step back,

1537
01:39:26.760 --> 01:39:29.159
<v Speaker 1>we've got to reflect, we've got to look and actually,

1538
01:39:29.279 --> 01:39:34.439
<v Speaker 1>as you said, rejection can be redirectioned. So yeah, definitely

1539
01:39:34.439 --> 01:39:38.000
<v Speaker 1>want to thank you Allison for bringing those insights to us.

1540
01:39:38.119 --> 01:39:42.279
<v Speaker 1>As always, it's been quite interesting and it gives me

1541
01:39:42.680 --> 01:39:45.840
<v Speaker 1>a lot of food for thought, because again, sometimes it's

1542
01:39:45.880 --> 01:39:48.439
<v Speaker 1>about how we approach things and how we respond to things,

1543
01:39:48.800 --> 01:39:52.119
<v Speaker 1>and actually looking at things in a different way can

1544
01:39:52.159 --> 01:39:54.439
<v Speaker 1>shape how we're then going to move forward as well

1545
01:39:54.600 --> 01:39:58.239
<v Speaker 1>in a more positive way. So yes, thank you very

1546
01:39:58.319 --> 01:40:02.840
<v Speaker 1>much for today's session for having me. Thank you, thank

1547
01:40:02.920 --> 01:40:07.800
<v Speaker 1>you always welcome, and of course I haven't. I was thinking, no,

1548
01:40:07.880 --> 01:40:09.720
<v Speaker 1>I haven't said it, but I'm going to say, there'll

1549
01:40:09.760 --> 01:40:11.279
<v Speaker 1>always be a part two to three.

1550
01:40:13.399 --> 01:40:16.680
<v Speaker 2>Yes, when the book is out. When the book is out, said,

1551
01:40:16.720 --> 01:40:18.520
<v Speaker 2>you've got to come back and just give us a

1552
01:40:18.520 --> 01:40:23.680
<v Speaker 2>bit more deep dive on the topic. And yeah, we're

1553
01:40:23.680 --> 01:40:24.760
<v Speaker 2>looking forward already.

1554
01:40:25.000 --> 01:40:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay. So yeah, so we've come to that time. It's

1555
01:40:30.039 --> 01:40:34.760
<v Speaker 1>been goodness. How time flies, as we say, but how

1556
01:40:34.920 --> 01:40:38.840
<v Speaker 1>time flies. We were having great conversation and really interesting topics.

1557
01:40:38.880 --> 01:40:42.520
<v Speaker 1>So thank you for joining us on Talking Point Didons

1558
01:40:42.520 --> 01:40:46.760
<v Speaker 1>again next week with another interesting topic that we'll be discussing.

1559
01:40:48.479 --> 01:40:52.319
<v Speaker 1>So I'm going to say good night, enjoy the rest

1560
01:40:52.319 --> 01:40:56.000
<v Speaker 1>of the evening and enjoy the rest of the enjoy

1561
01:40:56.039 --> 01:40:59.880
<v Speaker 1>the week it's to come. So let's pray the close

1562
01:41:00.640 --> 01:41:03.640
<v Speaker 1>and then we'll say good night. Father God, I want

1563
01:41:03.640 --> 01:41:07.039
<v Speaker 1>to thank you for this opportunity, dear Lord, to discuss

1564
01:41:07.039 --> 01:41:12.199
<v Speaker 1>a topic that impacts so many people. Dear Lord, Dear Lord,

1565
01:41:12.399 --> 01:41:16.159
<v Speaker 1>is very easy sometimes to feel the rejection of situations

1566
01:41:16.159 --> 01:41:19.359
<v Speaker 1>that happen to us and things around us. But Dear Lord,

1567
01:41:19.399 --> 01:41:23.479
<v Speaker 1>I want to pray you that we can be reminded

1568
01:41:23.840 --> 01:41:26.840
<v Speaker 1>of how much you love us, how much you care

1569
01:41:26.960 --> 01:41:29.520
<v Speaker 1>for us, and how much you have got everything in control,

1570
01:41:29.560 --> 01:41:31.600
<v Speaker 1>and that you want the best for us. Dear Lord,

1571
01:41:32.079 --> 01:41:34.119
<v Speaker 1>there are so many promises within the Bible, in your

1572
01:41:34.159 --> 01:41:36.880
<v Speaker 1>word that tell us exactly that, Dear Lord, and I'm

1573
01:41:36.880 --> 01:41:40.239
<v Speaker 1>praying that whoever's listening to our show today that well,

1574
01:41:40.279 --> 01:41:44.039
<v Speaker 1>they will delve into that and recognize that actually, you

1575
01:41:44.119 --> 01:41:46.680
<v Speaker 1>have got everything control, and there are so many ways

1576
01:41:46.680 --> 01:41:49.720
<v Speaker 1>that you can show us that. Even though we may

1577
01:41:49.760 --> 01:41:53.119
<v Speaker 1>feel rejected, it may just be a redirection, and there's

1578
01:41:53.159 --> 01:41:58.439
<v Speaker 1>always alternatives. There's always other ways to overcome, and Dear Lord,

1579
01:41:58.479 --> 01:42:00.359
<v Speaker 1>you want the best for us, then may be a

1580
01:42:00.399 --> 01:42:03.920
<v Speaker 1>better way. I thank you, Dear Lord, for Allison and

1581
01:42:04.000 --> 01:42:07.079
<v Speaker 1>the role that she plays in supporting people and to

1582
01:42:07.159 --> 01:42:09.479
<v Speaker 1>helping them to make differences and change in their life.

1583
01:42:09.520 --> 01:42:13.640
<v Speaker 1>Dear Lord, and I pray that we as well can

1584
01:42:13.720 --> 01:42:16.840
<v Speaker 1>be those people to other people. We can support others,

1585
01:42:16.920 --> 01:42:19.359
<v Speaker 1>we can help others, and we can help people draw

1586
01:42:19.439 --> 01:42:22.920
<v Speaker 1>closer to you. I thank you for blessing us with

1587
01:42:23.000 --> 01:42:25.760
<v Speaker 1>this platform, Dear Lord, and I pray that those who

1588
01:42:25.800 --> 01:42:28.359
<v Speaker 1>are listening will be blessed. I thank you for hearing

1589
01:42:28.399 --> 01:42:30.600
<v Speaker 1>and answering our prayers. Dear Lord, and thank you for

1590
01:42:30.640 --> 01:42:33.560
<v Speaker 1>being such an awesome God and loving us so much

1591
01:42:33.600 --> 01:42:35.560
<v Speaker 1>and caring for us and know that you have the

1592
01:42:35.600 --> 01:42:39.680
<v Speaker 1>best for us. Thank you for this day, dear Lord,

1593
01:42:39.880 --> 01:42:42.840
<v Speaker 1>and the week that we're about to start. I pray,

1594
01:42:42.880 --> 01:42:44.760
<v Speaker 1>Dear Lord that it'd be a blessed one and that

1595
01:42:44.840 --> 01:42:47.520
<v Speaker 1>we can come again for another conversation. Thank you to

1596
01:42:47.600 --> 01:42:49.199
<v Speaker 1>Lord for here in our prayers. Amen.

1597
01:42:49.920 --> 01:42:55.079
<v Speaker 2>Amen, thank you, andles. Thank you Alison once more, Thank

1598
01:42:55.119 --> 01:42:57.399
<v Speaker 2>you for taking the time out again to join us,

1599
01:42:57.479 --> 01:43:01.119
<v Speaker 2>and we look forward to speaking to you on another program.

1600
01:43:01.359 --> 01:43:03.680
<v Speaker 1>All right, take good care, bye players.

1601
01:43:03.680 --> 01:43:06.600
<v Speaker 2>Bye by Adventist Radio, London.

1602
01:43:06.880 --> 01:43:08.359
<v Speaker 1>Inspiration for the song