Speaker 1: I have been sent videos by fans. He doesn't use
Speaker 1: the word fans, and he points out, look, you already
Speaker 1: had Isabella living with this fucking guy with bees and
Speaker 1: he threw you out of there. And now I'm a
Speaker 1: little concerned, and uh you know who what guys are
Speaker 1: you going to introduce uh Isabella to next? Because I
Speaker 1: fucking I'm a little concerned.
Speaker 2: Oh no, this bro, it's me.
Speaker 1: Oh, let's start over.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's fine. I think I could fix it.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, it's fixed.
Speaker 1: Nice? And where here to break down?
Speaker 2: The season finale?
Speaker 1: Up?
Speaker 2: The valley is all.
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, you know, I met the guy
Speaker 2: that owns Rocos Leo Leo. I completely forgot to tell you.
Speaker 2: Me and him had to probably sat down with each
Speaker 2: other for about half an hour. I went over to
Speaker 2: watch England get crucified in the World Cup by Argentina
Speaker 2: at Rocos.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I assume you said, you know Pat.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, mm hmm. He had lots of zombie tales
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 1: Yep, very talkative guy. I love Leo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was great, sweetheart. Why did I bring that up? Oh?
Speaker 2: Jackson used to own the place well well place next
Speaker 2: door and Jackson's not on the show anymore.
Speaker 1: That's right, Okay, as long as we're bringing this stuff up,
Speaker 1: don't point at me. Sorry, you know what Danny pointed
Speaker 1: at Jason. Yeah, got a drink thrown at him.
Speaker 2: Ye, a drink. It was a cup, a cup thrown
Speaker 2: at him with maybe a thimbles worth of melted ice
Speaker 2: in there.
Speaker 1: I don't care. It was rude.
Speaker 2: It was rude. But Nia went around the party and went,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I mean he had a drink for
Speaker 2: except Janet threw a drink in his face. These people
Speaker 2: do not support us.
Speaker 1: No, they don't. I was at Laurel Tavern.
Speaker 2: Goal Righteous Gemstone, somewhere else. Then you are so beautiful.
Speaker 1: She is, Oh hello, I was at Laurel Tavern on Saturday,
Speaker 1: my birthday. I was there on a day and time
Speaker 1: that I should not be there because I'm bold.
Speaker 2: But I what time?
Speaker 1: Nine o'clock? Well, I stayed there till eleven.
Speaker 2: Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have come to Laurel. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: So I started the day out with.
Speaker 2: Make well.
Speaker 1: I started the day out with a bicycle bar crawl
Speaker 1: with the dads.
Speaker 2: That one I couldn't make.
Speaker 1: It too and then they ditched me at about seven
Speaker 1: thirty because they have responsibilities. Then I rode the bicycle
Speaker 1: down to Laurel Tavern, yeah, and then met up with
Speaker 1: my friends that i've been LA friends. Yeah yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's when we got the party started. And then who
Speaker 1: walks in? No Katie from h Vander Pump rolls Katie.
Speaker 2: Ruby's favorite, right, and then Spider Girl.
Speaker 1: A bunch of younger extremely I don't even know if
Speaker 1: they're attractive, they're just young people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're young.
Speaker 1: They're just dressed to the nines, you know, all the new.
Speaker 2: Leather or like flowy stuff.
Speaker 1: No, just like trendy stuff. Yeah, I don't know, I'm old, right, Okay.
Speaker 1: And I got the impression because there was some cameras
Speaker 1: there that it could have been next gen LA because
Speaker 1: you know they're actively filming that. Oh really, Because I
Speaker 1: was thinking, what is Katie and some of her friends
Speaker 1: doing interacting with all these twenty five year olds?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so I thought there might be some kind
Speaker 1: of little crossover somehow bringing Katie into that world. It
Speaker 1: was kind of fun, and they did this whole birthday
Speaker 1: celebration filming thing.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 1: Get to watch, you know how the sausage.
Speaker 2: Just did Katie exude a kind of dark smoke throughout
Speaker 2: the entire stablege.
Speaker 1: Now she looked beautiful.
Speaker 2: Really, Oh that's great. All right, Well let's get into
Speaker 2: because who cares? Who cares?
Speaker 1: I know, it's just fun to see.
Speaker 2: No, I know, I'm not saying who cares about? You know?
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: Miss Adele. I gotta say, big Adele. Guy, she's doing
Speaker 2: her thing. You know, you gotta respect the moxie. She goes,
Speaker 2: I'm actually not gonna do this. I'm gonna just hang out.
Speaker 2: I have millions of dollars.
Speaker 1: A fucking tour. Fuck that.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm to be in my cottage and fucking read
Speaker 2: and cook, just be with my children.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised she hasn't started a podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cut to Mick Jagger. I don't know why we
Speaker 2: wouldn't do her the world again.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you.
Speaker 2: Need oxygen because you just got to this studio.
Speaker 1: That's why those people, Jesus, they can't. They don't want
Speaker 1: to sit still. Yeah, that's not normal for them.
Speaker 2: I know, I know. But listen, we're here to talk
Speaker 2: about the valley, and we're here to give our schneefs Now.
Speaker 2: I'm going to give this episode forty two schnefs for
Speaker 2: one reason and one reason only. Natalie Natalie, who I
Speaker 2: think is just now. When I say star, I'm not
Speaker 2: talking about a Kate Blenchatt, I'm not talking about a
Speaker 2: star like that. But but but in the zip code
Speaker 2: that we're in, being the show called the Valley, she
Speaker 2: is a star. She needs to be on next season.
Speaker 1: It is a must now to remind the audience. She
Speaker 1: was on this episode, but she was on a previous
Speaker 1: episode where Swartzy Yeah, pretended to act like he was
Speaker 1: considering to go on a date with her where they
Speaker 1: met up at.
Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, Yes, and he while he's still in a
Speaker 2: relationship with.
Speaker 1: Iliad Iliad Moana, I forget her name.
Speaker 2: She's too young, she's very young. She loves cookies, loves cookies,
Speaker 2: loves geo catching, loves cocaine, absolutely adores cocaine, and yeah,
Speaker 2: loves evidently just getting fucking laid on top.
Speaker 1: Of no, have you seen him?
Speaker 2: Hey, I know that you hate Schwartz, but we do
Speaker 2: not bought the shame about this year.
Speaker 1: I'm not body shaming. Page six printed a story saying,
Speaker 1: look at this fat slop. No, they did, Yes, they did.
Speaker 1: I sent you the picture because of a little bat
Speaker 1: he said to me.
Speaker 2: I know, but you didn't send me the article. You
Speaker 2: just sent me the picture and you said, my god,
Speaker 2: look at fat this guy.
Speaker 1: I did not.
Speaker 2: Something along those lines, don't.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm the one who broke this story. Look
Speaker 1: at page six, copying me.
Speaker 2: I think I said something like, he looks happy because
Speaker 2: you get fat, you are there. There are some dark
Speaker 2: ways to get fat, and there are some really happy
Speaker 2: ways to get fat. Agreed, Okay, I give it forty.
Speaker 2: Natalie's a star keeper on the show.
Speaker 1: This was well. First off, where I looked at my
Speaker 1: because you know, I record it before I watch it,
Speaker 1: watch like live, and I thought the running time was
Speaker 1: an hour and a half and I was like, this show,
Speaker 1: this show does not justify a forty two minute running time.
Speaker 1: But then I saw it was just going to be
Speaker 1: an hour, and I was like, thank god. And it
Speaker 1: ended up being the best episode of the season, you
Speaker 1: think by far. Really, Oh, we had drinks thrown.
Speaker 2: You got a lot of meat out of this one. Huh.
Speaker 1: Oh, my god, that's always so nice. We had Zach
Speaker 1: standing up to Brittany he's no longer loyalty loyal to her. No, right,
Speaker 1: I can't wait.
Speaker 2: For his giant head at the reunion.
Speaker 1: Oh Andy throws him a look in that preview like
Speaker 1: he's like, you are a little douche.
Speaker 2: Andy is so annoyed by him fucking his gay giantism.
Speaker 2: We have the proportions of that man. He looks like
Speaker 2: a goddamn you know those fucking things. We don't body
Speaker 2: shame on this parts, but he looks like one of
Speaker 2: those fucking things that Odysseus fought in that fucking movie.
Speaker 1: I don't see it yet.
Speaker 2: Oh you haven't seen it, The Last Dragonians Giant tree
Speaker 2: moving people. Don't spoil it, sorry man.
Speaker 1: We had Jesse confront Michelle about dating another dude and uh,
Speaker 1: probably a little too soon introducing her uh their daughter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, tried to beat him on a technicality. I don't
Speaker 2: think it really worked that well. But my favorite was
Speaker 2: Jesse going, uh, we're gonna have some custody battles if
Speaker 2: she doesn't over what, you're gonna take custody because she
Speaker 2: introduced her to somebody at it open ask Jesse.
Speaker 1: Okay, buddy, by the way, So my point is the
Speaker 1: old Jesse showed up. Oh yeah, we haven't seen him
Speaker 1: in a while.
Speaker 2: He really snaps mm hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then lastly, we had uh, what else did we
Speaker 1: have here? We had a Jasmine calling someone a bitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you for coming to work.
Speaker 1: Jasmine so thirsty for a storyline. Okay, I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: it to ninety two schneeps.
Speaker 2: All right, we start our episode with preparation for Brittany's
Speaker 2: big Victorian vampire bonanza. Now, when we get to the party,
Speaker 2: we were told last week that there were there was
Speaker 2: going to be this kind of there was gonna be
Speaker 2: a baroque kind of like haunted man or vampire kind
Speaker 2: of thing going on, and it was kind of just
Speaker 2: it was kind of just a Halloween party with prescudo
Speaker 2: on the heads of skulls, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was anyways, Well, I admired the fog machine
Speaker 1: much like Luke did when he walked in. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that is a pretty good fog machine. Luke is.
Speaker 2: A village idiot, all right. First though, it's time for
Speaker 2: the meeting of the alphas of this show. That's Laala
Speaker 2: Neia Oh no.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no no. Before we get to LaRochelle,
Speaker 1: which if we look down at the end of my street,
Speaker 1: we can see the front of that La Rochelle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, LaRochelle.
Speaker 1: Is that how you say it? I don't know that.
Speaker 1: You know that's on violent over here? No, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: right next to a cannabis stores. It's okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, okay, we do a little tricker treating
Speaker 1: because BRIT's Halloween party was not.
Speaker 2: On home no November one, that's right.
Speaker 1: Uh, Britt is a tricker treater.
Speaker 2: Can I say, if you're gonna do a Halloween party
Speaker 2: off Halloween the week before, totally agree. Can't come the
Speaker 2: day after November?
Speaker 1: First, take the decorations.
Speaker 2: To Christmas party on the twenty seventh.
Speaker 1: You do not do that. Do that three weeks before
Speaker 1: it is totally fine.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, she takes a cruise out.
Speaker 2: I mean, the insanity of that.
Speaker 1: Well, probably filming limitations, got to make sure everyone's in town.
Speaker 1: There's other parties that are probably more fun. Maybe Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: Britt takes a cruise out for trick or treating and
Speaker 1: Janet and Jason. Jason are tagging along along. Now, Janet
Speaker 1: had said in her her interview that Jason was going
Speaker 1: to be going as himself this year, and when he
Speaker 1: showed up as a patient, you saw that he had
Speaker 1: like the what do you have?
Speaker 2: The nurse scrubs on?
Speaker 1: The scrubs on? When she said he was going to
Speaker 1: go as himself, I thought she meant he was going
Speaker 1: to go as this pussy, a big saggy badge, big
Speaker 1: sag pussy. But no, he went as what do you
Speaker 1: go as? Again?
Speaker 2: You understand that I have to bleep all of that? Right?
Speaker 2: You don't I under do. I don't know how you
Speaker 2: don't know that I have to bleep that uncensored tier
Speaker 2: have fun I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 1: I didn't know very clearly.
Speaker 2: You said that with your chest all right?
Speaker 1: Long is he going to?
Speaker 2: I thought it was funny. He was in a hospital
Speaker 2: gown and he was in a wheelchair because he can't walk.
Speaker 2: I don't know what she was, but they have a
Speaker 2: fucking they have a nurse ratchet and patient kind of relationship.
Speaker 2: Maybe he's not a pussy. Perhaps he is every morning
Speaker 2: getting a little ketchup tray of bills and she checks
Speaker 2: under his tongue. All right, now, folks have been giving
Speaker 2: Janet some shit for bringing up her pain at opportune
Speaker 2: time in the show, you know, Kristen's a little trepidacious
Speaker 2: about Janet talking about her sexual abuse past, and Nia
Speaker 2: here launches into a story about the instability of her
Speaker 2: life and the pain she experienced growing up and all
Speaker 2: of that kind of in the face of somebody just
Speaker 2: accusing you of protecting your drunk husband. Now she goes
Speaker 2: into why being with Daniel, what it has to do
Speaker 2: with that stuff, because on the outside nothing really, I
Speaker 2: don't know why you're talking about this.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, She explains that her troubled childhood and growing
Speaker 1: up in all that chaos, she needed some stability, so
Speaker 1: she married a drunk who wasn't tall enough to get
Speaker 1: on most of the rides of Disneyland. And Lala hears
Speaker 1: this and she's like, well, that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2: That's fort Knox as a human being. I would say,
Speaker 2: you're Nia, You're a CIA officer and a handler of
Speaker 2: this little drunk. And I have grown to very very
Speaker 2: much so dislike you, but I want you to have
Speaker 2: better than the little whiskey chow.
Speaker 1: Totally agree. I Also, Nia's learning how to play this
Speaker 1: reality game like she sees Lala and she's like, ooh,
Speaker 1: all right, Lala, you have like three dimensions to your
Speaker 1: character this season.
Speaker 2: Your one of them is ally, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: pluck that bow.
Speaker 1: That's right. You're an ally. You're miss sexual and you
Speaker 1: have to be and then you're you're also shitstr but
Speaker 1: you are an ally. So I am going to throw
Speaker 1: something in your face that I know that you cannot attack, right,
Speaker 1: and I will defuse you immediately, which she did, and
Speaker 1: then she goes, you know, I was just in Mama
Speaker 1: Bear mode, and I was thinking, well, we all know bears, right,
Speaker 1: their little cubs hide white claws and tree nooks. And
Speaker 1: then Mama Bear tells the forest all the animals, uh
Speaker 1: you know, uh, you know.
Speaker 2: Keep going, I say, I can't continue.
Speaker 1: Well, we all know that bears don't even drink malt liquor,
Speaker 1: right right? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How could that be Mama Bear's cub aka husband?
Speaker 1: If you're maintaining a metaphor, that's what.
Speaker 2: Are you smoke?
Speaker 1: No? Yeah, I just I was just yeah. Laala tells
Speaker 1: us she likes to be she wants to be friends
Speaker 1: with Lala now, but it's gonna be problematic because she
Speaker 1: hates Danny and also he hates her, so that is
Speaker 1: gonna be definitely.
Speaker 2: Could you not hate Danny? Okay, so hates a big word.
Speaker 2: Let's get to somebody who I actually do hate. No,
Speaker 2: I don't hate a big word. Luke, not malicious, just
Speaker 2: one of the one of the true dumb dumbs on
Speaker 2: this entire network. The the lack of emotional intelligence, like
Speaker 2: bearing witness to people who have like really really like
Speaker 2: harmfully low levels of emotional intelligence is really difficult to
Speaker 2: endure sometimes, like it makes me feel so awkward. Sometimes
Speaker 2: there's so there will be like an autistic person. So
Speaker 2: to say that, of course that makes sense. But then
Speaker 2: you have people that are just like incredibly under evolved,
Speaker 2: like Luke, and you just go, how can people be
Speaker 2: this wallheaded? You know, telling your wife let's go ahead
Speaker 2: and have another baby, because I despise the version of
Speaker 2: you that I've met over the last year so much.
Speaker 2: I just want to his words, bury her in the
Speaker 2: ground in a coffin. Now, I'm sorry to get like,
Speaker 2: maybe I was too big about the whole emotion all.
Speaker 2: It tells we brought autism into the fall. I don't
Speaker 2: know what I was doing there, but it's hard to
Speaker 2: watch Luke speak to his wife.
Speaker 1: I don't know how old he is, but I think
Speaker 1: this might be. And I always speak about this in
Speaker 1: generational terms because I think the well, I'm hopeful, optimistic,
Speaker 1: we are raising each generation becomes smarter emotionally, at least
Speaker 1: males do. Or well, how old is he?
Speaker 2: But how old would the cutoff be for this kind
Speaker 2: of behavior? Twenty six if you were being generous, twenty eight.
Speaker 2: He's older.
Speaker 1: I mean, he can still think these things, but you
Speaker 1: just can't let it come out of your goddamn mouth.
Speaker 2: Of course you can think them. It's the only thing
Speaker 2: to think. I want to put that person, that version
Speaker 2: of you, in a fucking coffin. It's the only thing
Speaker 2: to think. But you cannot speak it, and speak it
Speaker 2: as though it is a good incentive. He speaks it
Speaker 2: as as as if it's something that's going to get
Speaker 2: him on on, get her on his side of things.
Speaker 1: Right, Holy, this is ship. That's why men and women
Speaker 1: are different. We have different brains. This is how men are. Well,
Speaker 1: we're pretty.
Speaker 2: Stupid, Yes, we are very stupid, all right, So put
Speaker 2: the fishing pulled down. You a literal redneck.
Speaker 1: Okay, This is why some people love this show and
Speaker 1: why others don't, which is this is such a bumber conversation.
Speaker 1: Bumber conversation because it is so relatable in many ways.
Speaker 2: I know you are a Game of Thrones person. Kristin
Speaker 2: and Luke this season have been like theon Gray Joy's
Speaker 2: arc when when he was Reek just getting your dick
Speaker 2: cut off and getting tortured and just being cold for
Speaker 2: an entire Does he get killed eventually? I think he
Speaker 2: dies the the yes, no spoilers. I think the Night
Speaker 2: King kills him. Mmm. He goes and tries to kill
Speaker 2: the Night King and that the Night King's.
Speaker 1: That's a good way to go out.
Speaker 2: What are you doing, d you can't.
Speaker 1: He was also having sex with his half sister.
Speaker 2: Throat fart, so sorry it happens. Let's get to Michelle
Speaker 2: and her hot friend who should be on the show.
Speaker 2: We sit down with Michelle and Natalie, and Michelle wants
Speaker 2: to own a home because her parents always rented, and
Speaker 2: she thinks that subconsciously, her parents never owning a home
Speaker 2: is what got her to be a real estate agent.
Speaker 2: That's actually not true. Trouncing around around Woodland Hills and
Speaker 2: smoking pot and hooking up with boyfriends until you haven't
Speaker 2: figured out anything else. That's what leads you into being a.
Speaker 1: Real real estate agent. Yeah, actually yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: What do you go to Keck to be a real
Speaker 2: estate agent?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: The kech is the medical school. I think nothing against realistate, no, no,
Speaker 2: and nothing against doctors either.
Speaker 1: Right. Uh, Well, Michelle says now that everything is behind her,
Speaker 1: referring to that horrible marriage. It's the end of a
Speaker 1: chapter in the beginning of a new book. And what
Speaker 1: will that book look like? I'd argue, your life is
Speaker 1: the book. And uh, when that chapter ends, you just
Speaker 1: you need a new chapter. You don't need you don't
Speaker 1: need a new book, whole new book. Well I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna have a new covered, new cover, art, everything.
Speaker 1: But you just ended the chapter, so we're gonna throw
Speaker 1: that semantics.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little bit like The Lord of the
Speaker 2: Rings is just one book, but it's up and it's
Speaker 2: three books. We're getting into the weeds. We don't need
Speaker 2: to shew chapter. Sheall needs a new chapter, not a
Speaker 2: new book. Let's get to stage four Endo and some
Speaker 2: egg freezing with doctor Arnold Jesse and Lacey Jesse. Says,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be making some pretty inappropriate choke. Why why
Speaker 2: why do you have to make jokes? Why are men
Speaker 2: so uncomfortable in rooms like this that they have to
Speaker 2: crack inappropriate jokes about like it's a fucking doctor's appointment.
Speaker 2: Just fucking go to the doctor. It's not an open mic.
Speaker 1: Doctors must hate this.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm driving at though, Like I don't,
Speaker 2: I don't get it. Danny has to do this, Jesse
Speaker 2: has to do this. They're these like we gotta alleviate
Speaker 2: the tension of this moment. Now for Jesse, I understand
Speaker 2: why there might be tension because Lacey wants nothing to
Speaker 2: do with him, and when asked before going to be
Speaker 2: doing embryos, she goes, no, we're not.
Speaker 1: And then he goes, are you sure? Because think about
Speaker 1: if we get embryos and what my DNA will bring
Speaker 1: to the table if we have one span. The little
Speaker 1: fucker will wake up and drink two bottles of champagne
Speaker 1: before noon. Yeah. Yeah, he'll accuse any of his future
Speaker 1: spouses of being a low rent yeah, and then he'll
Speaker 1: pretend to be financially successful.
Speaker 2: Right exactly while being five hundred thousand dollars in debt. Awesome. Yes,
Speaker 2: we're actually going to go with the no embryo today
Speaker 2: this episode.
Speaker 1: And what Lacey had said to the producers at the
Speaker 1: end of the episode, like where do you see this
Speaker 1: relationship going? She goes, I feel bad because I know
Speaker 1: he's going to say something completely different. Yeah, so I'm
Speaker 1: kind of cool with what's where we are?
Speaker 2: Fine?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's with him to be on this show.
Speaker 2: She's with him to be on this show, to have
Speaker 2: a little purse dog and to have some kind of
Speaker 2: companionship that she control. She can control within an inch
Speaker 2: of its life. Jesse is in a place where he
Speaker 2: he has no leverage. He's smitten by her, and quite frankly,
Speaker 2: it's abuse. Okay, let's get to the Big Bash. We
Speaker 2: get ready for the Big Bash, but first we talk
Speaker 2: diarrhea with Tom and um Janet actually not giving blowjobs
Speaker 2: to Jason, which, for the record, it's just not cool.
Speaker 2: It's not cool to not do oral sex for your
Speaker 2: loved one. Who these DJ Khaled motherfuckers that won't go
Speaker 2: down on women. It's like, it's not cool. It's it's
Speaker 2: not it's not cool.
Speaker 1: Hey, dyl Yeah, I got a fun game to play.
Speaker 1: You'll never guess which cast member states the wife should
Speaker 1: give a dude a blowjob. I'll give you a million bucks. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: because this person has three character traits this season.
Speaker 2: Okay, I kind of well, let me guess. Okay, Jasmine
Speaker 2: M close? How am I close?
Speaker 1: Mmmm? That would be a hint you Okay?
Speaker 2: Was it La La?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, yeah, defender of women or ally, as you said,
Speaker 1: over sexualized because you know she's easy going with sexuality,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's also gonna kiss Michelle later.
Speaker 1: That's right, and also a ship star. Yeah.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get to the big bonanza. We've got
Speaker 2: purshido draped on skulls and Zach with spray painted abs. Zach,
Speaker 2: They're made in the kitchen, Babe. I'm just lay off
Speaker 2: the late night tacos for your shitter, too, right, But
Speaker 2: just you, you can do it. We count on you,
Speaker 2: or we believe in you. Danny is Count Bukola. I
Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck this is. It doesn't make
Speaker 2: any fucking sense. I'm gonna I'm gonna call him fucking nothing.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call him Count Dookie. He's in character. Normally,
Speaker 2: Danny works.
Speaker 1: Him his way up to like the analogy. She is
Speaker 1: like flight, like an altitude, like to seven thousand feet.
Speaker 1: Here he was at seven thousand feet from jump comes in.
Speaker 2: He's so excited to get drunk. He was so excited
Speaker 2: to get drunk doing that.
Speaker 1: Oh, my god, I honestly don't know how Nia does it.
Speaker 2: Oh, she bottles up all of her fears and emotion
Speaker 2: to the servitude of her husband and the family.
Speaker 1: Dark.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll tell you what though, She's got those babies,
Speaker 2: and those babies are life giving. That little adelaide My god,
Speaker 2: I want to steal that little.
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree, But well, Lacey remarks, because Jesse
Speaker 1: starts up participating in that dumb voice that count Dookie
Speaker 1: is doing. Yeah, and she said the only bigger turn
Speaker 1: off was when Jesse wore the underweary thirteen. Then he
Speaker 1: used as a rag to clean appliances from twenty eighteen
Speaker 1: to twenty nineteen, and then he turned him back into
Speaker 1: apparel again from twenty twenty twenty to present. Guys will
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. I'm I don't like Jesse. I'm
Speaker 2: over the Lacy kind of shitting on him.
Speaker 1: All the jabs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's getting old. It's getting a little old. It's
Speaker 2: let's shit or get off the podastes. I agree, all right,
Speaker 2: So what do you do with somebody who's doing a
Speaker 2: bit like this at a public place. You're at a
Speaker 2: party and somebody's doing a bit walk away? I mean,
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what. No, and I have to go
Speaker 2: get a drink. I know that this one's full. I
Speaker 2: need another one. Now.
Speaker 1: There was this is like seven years ago. Holy shit, No,
Speaker 1: it must have been long. I was at a on
Speaker 1: top of a roof party watching a movie and a
Speaker 1: guy was doing a Barack Obama president Barack Obama imitation.
Speaker 1: He would not break character. And after about five minutes
Speaker 1: of him engaging me with that, well I just did that.
Speaker 1: I got pee. But there was no bathrooms, so I
Speaker 1: got caught in a little lie there. Yeah, but that
Speaker 1: was okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't. You can't stand before this for very long. Okay,
Speaker 2: So let's get to Zach and the text messages. Janet
Speaker 2: confronts him and says, I heard that you were talking
Speaker 2: shit to Kristen, and he says, listen, I I shit myself,
Speaker 2: all right. The other day when we were at Chili's.
Speaker 2: I actually shit my pants, and kudos to the women
Speaker 2: who go you know it's discussing. You're so full of
Speaker 2: shit that you can't even control the purse strings around
Speaker 2: your little fucking balloon knock down there? Okay, but also,
Speaker 2: what the fuck are you talking about? What does it
Speaker 2: have to do with him?
Speaker 1: They? Yes, they They quickly get him back on back
Speaker 1: on the.
Speaker 2: At which point Janet gets up and leaves. Yes, so
Speaker 2: YouTube film or leave?
Speaker 1: Okay. I want to point out something here, though interesting
Speaker 1: maneuver by Zach. For most humans, what's more humiliating being
Speaker 1: caught on camera backstabbing someone a cast member that you
Speaker 1: barely know, or letting the world see that you shit
Speaker 1: your pants in a chain restaurant and threw away your underwear.
Speaker 2: What's more, then went back, sat down and ate next
Speaker 2: to people. What kind of fucking behavior is that? You're
Speaker 2: walking biohazard you have, you smell like fucking shit, and
Speaker 2: you're sitting down next to these women. You have no
Speaker 2: value to them, They mean nothing to you. You wouldn't
Speaker 2: do that to someone you care about, sit down next
Speaker 2: to them with an open ass of shit. Michelle and
Speaker 2: Jesse have a little spat. Oh, he goes. I heard
Speaker 2: you're dating people. You introduced our daughter to him. She goes,
Speaker 2: that's not true, and it kind of is real estate agents. Who.
Speaker 2: I don't know how many of you are left, given
Speaker 2: the way that we speak about your profession, But do
Speaker 2: get in the comments. Let us know is a comment
Speaker 2: to bring a child to a showing or I don't
Speaker 2: necessarily buy that line.
Speaker 1: Well, here's the question, why did your boyfriend show up
Speaker 1: to the showing?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Why, Yeah, that's a weird one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dropping off lunch right right?
Speaker 2: Was he a client?
Speaker 1: He was a client?
Speaker 2: Did she meet him the first time? She showed him
Speaker 2: the house and Isabella just so happened to be there
Speaker 2: on it.
Speaker 1: By this point, they'd already been traveling to Vegas with
Speaker 1: each other. We've been dating for three months. It's a
Speaker 1: there's something weird about the story. Well, here's what Jesse says.
Speaker 1: He says, hey, I have been sent videos by fans.
Speaker 1: He doesn't use the word fans, and he points out, look,
Speaker 1: you already had Isabella living with this fucking guy with
Speaker 1: bees and he threw you out of there. And now
Speaker 1: I'm a little concerned, and uh, you know who, what
Speaker 1: guys are you going to introduce? Uh? Isabella to next
Speaker 1: because I fucking I'm a little concerned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you imagine? Okay, we've heard this song yet,
Speaker 2: it's very famous.
Speaker 1: I'd argue, uh, that comedian a little more quaint than
Speaker 1: Doctor Drake. Doctor Dre has a the record.
Speaker 2: Is the muscle mass of a ninja turtle.
Speaker 1: He also has a rap sheet.
Speaker 2: No, I think Dre's been on the straight and narrow
Speaker 2: pretty much.
Speaker 1: He has a rap sheet, he has a he has
Speaker 1: a history of that's.
Speaker 2: In the the other chapters that actually became a whole
Speaker 2: different book. He's in a completely different book.
Speaker 1: Oh he's moved, Oh a different book.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, he's with Jimmy IAVI and doing headphones.
Speaker 1: And ship now okay, got right, good to hear.
Speaker 2: So Jasmine comes in and goes, hey, what's going on?
Speaker 2: I don't have a storyline? Can you help? And that
Speaker 2: is exactly.
Speaker 1: My god, dear god, in what world does she become
Speaker 1: a defender?
Speaker 2: Off the show? Get her off the fucking the show.
Speaker 1: She's so unlikable. It's just so fun.
Speaker 2: She's not unlikable, she's just she called.
Speaker 1: A girl that she doesn't know a bitch and then
Speaker 1: called her trash.
Speaker 2: Natalie called her.
Speaker 1: Oh, Natalie called her trash. Forgive me, I I apologize.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you get Natalie on the show. So Jesse
Speaker 2: says she's been dating people and introducing Isabella to them,
Speaker 2: and then starts to get a little teary eyed and
Speaker 2: angry and says, we're gonna have some custody issues if
Speaker 2: this keeps going. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, what are you, mister
Speaker 2: five hundred thousand dollars in debt, going to demonstrate to
Speaker 2: a court of law as to why she cannot see
Speaker 2: her child? You fucking okay, I will.
Speaker 1: I've seen people they can drag in the court and
Speaker 1: fuck with you though. Okay. So later later, Jason walks
Speaker 1: up to a woman and touches her yes, thinking that
Speaker 1: it's his wife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you didn't think that.
Speaker 1: You didn't think that Jason.
Speaker 2: A different perse. She got a different color hair, she
Speaker 2: got a different hair style.
Speaker 1: You're very very and you thought being he.
Speaker 2: Didn't hear it, but but he leaned in and he
Speaker 2: went he said help me, He said, help me. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we should mention that Danny is starting to really blow
Speaker 2: past the legal limit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and where his words?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Nia asks if he's drunk.
Speaker 1: He is Meanwhile, Danny's drunk. That's my note. That is
Speaker 1: so sad that a guy who's been accused of being
Speaker 1: a drunk eighty five times, he's an alcoholic and he
Speaker 1: shows up to a party with cameras and gets fucking
Speaker 1: obliterate to.
Speaker 2: The point where Jesse has to say, let's do a
Speaker 2: shot of water and walk him over to the bar
Speaker 2: because he cannot walk straight. So Jasmine, well, okay, this
Speaker 2: is the first off. When when when Jason goes over
Speaker 2: there and says, help me to that woman, they're all laughing.
Speaker 2: He goes, sorry, I thought you were my wife, and
Speaker 2: Zach says, sounds like you made a mistake. What what
Speaker 2: is that sentence? Okay, sounds like you made a mistake.
Speaker 1: We do not have intelligent, interesting people on Holy shit.
Speaker 2: We don't need intelligent and intelligent and interesting people on
Speaker 2: this show. That's not what reality TV is for. Okay.
Speaker 2: We need entertaining people, and a lot of these people
Speaker 2: are just not cutting it. Zach chief among them. So
Speaker 2: Jasmine starts this game of telephone and she approaches Janet
Speaker 2: Michelle and she said something. She says, if you're okay
Speaker 2: with it, I'd like to try to remain on the show.
Speaker 2: Show in this moment here because this is the last
Speaker 2: day we're shooting, and they say, sure, what's going on?
Speaker 2: What's your name again?
Speaker 1: Well, because I need a storyline, Michelle.
Speaker 2: I believe your husband's feelings of animosity towards you are
Speaker 2: completely valid because they are his own and to have
Speaker 2: your own thoughts mean they are valid. Okay, that's a
Speaker 2: new wrinkle. You're going full ally with Jesse's truth here.
Speaker 2: That's your storyline. Fucking wild.
Speaker 1: You know, when these two were going at it brought
Speaker 1: me back to a bad Girls club. Yeah you're a bitch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, shut up your trash.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are the saddest losses to the recalibration.
Speaker 2: Of If Maury can do DNA tests, we can have
Speaker 2: the Bad Girls Club. I understand that it's kind of
Speaker 2: exploitating a racial stereotype. I'll say again, if Maury can
Speaker 2: do what he does, we can have the bad girls.
Speaker 1: I agree hashtag bring Bad Girls Club back. I feel
Speaker 1: like if we did that, then it would be like
Speaker 1: a dam breaking, and to use a metaphor, it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be water spilling out, would be girls from fatherless homes
Speaker 1: with propensity for violence on our TV sets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we could do we could do something with like uh,
Speaker 2: we could do Rock of Love but with like Pete
Speaker 2: Davidson or something.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that'd be awesome right right.
Speaker 2: I would watch that.
Speaker 1: I would too.
Speaker 2: Davidson could do that ironically for the paycheck and be
Speaker 2: completely fine.
Speaker 1: I think he'll by the time I think we're there
Speaker 1: in the culture, he'll be at that same place in
Speaker 1: his career.
Speaker 2: Okay, So.
Speaker 1: Honestly, do you want to see him in anything now? Okay?
Speaker 2: So he Jasmine goes up and says, Jesse's feelings are
Speaker 2: very valid because they are his own, and Michelle goes,
Speaker 2: you know what the fuck you're talking about, and that's
Speaker 2: when Natalie walks in and Jasmine says, who the fuck
Speaker 2: are you, bitch, and they get into it.
Speaker 1: And she explains, that's my best friend.
Speaker 2: Right exactly, that's my best friend who you're making come
Speaker 2: off as a bad mother. So I have a huge
Speaker 2: problem with what you're doing right now, and Jasmine says,
Speaker 2: didn't mean to call you a bitch. I'm just from Jersey,
Speaker 2: That's how I do it, and she goes, yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: from Chicago and you're fucking trash. Whoa love it all right.
Speaker 2: So Danny continues to eat like a blackout. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is how when you get home, you've already eaten
Speaker 2: an item out of the bag of taco bell, but
Speaker 2: you you're just not drunk enough to save the rest
Speaker 2: of the food. This is what you eat like when
Speaker 2: you get to the couch. Okay, but he's in public.
Speaker 1: Taco Bell was the appetizer.
Speaker 2: Danny is eating like if you got home and all
Speaker 2: you had in the fridge was a log of goat cheese.
Speaker 2: He is literally deep throating massive amounts of cheese.
Speaker 1: And I don't know how he has those abs. If
Speaker 1: I ate one night like this, I'd have a beer belly.
Speaker 2: He has those abs because he works out for an
Speaker 2: hour and a half a day and he's a little guy.
Speaker 2: Sure that little guys can maintain their form much easier.
Speaker 2: So Nia hears that Kristin said that she guilt trips
Speaker 2: her friends or guilt trips Zach, and we get to
Speaker 2: this faction split where we have Nia Kristen Zach versus
Speaker 2: La La and Britney, and Kristin is caught red handed
Speaker 2: in a lie. Lala and Britney say, in front of Nia,
Speaker 2: you told us the other day that Nia guilt trips
Speaker 2: Zach for being friends with Janet. Kristin says, I did
Speaker 2: not say that, to which Britney and Laala are just
Speaker 2: dumb struck. And then Zach says I believe Kristen, to
Speaker 2: which Brittany goes, I've done.
Speaker 1: This about that.
Speaker 2: He's got twenty years. He's a he's a close thing
Speaker 2: I got in life as a brother, and here he
Speaker 2: is Sadden Withn'nia. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I thought Kristen said that she was only kidding when
Speaker 1: she said that. No, she out, all right, Oh, Dylan's
Speaker 1: plugging his phone in all right, Well, I thought she
Speaker 1: said she was joking that Nia was running the.
Speaker 2: Show you're hosting for the rest.
Speaker 1: Okay. Then Swartz arrives to announce, Uh, where the hell
Speaker 1: has swartzmen? He was probably at another party the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And then he shows up at the end.
Speaker 2: He was at a Kingson era.
Speaker 1: Hey, buddy, I love to tip it. Hey do you
Speaker 1: accept venmo path? Hey?
Speaker 2: I don't have any cash on me, but do you
Speaker 2: have a venmoke? Get tip you with? Yeah, it's right here.
Speaker 2: Oh my phone's actually, my phone's dead, I'll get somebody's
Speaker 2: I'll come back, I'll take a pic, I'll tip you.
Speaker 1: Would you have pumped?
Speaker 2: Meet me in the bathroom, at which point the bartenders like,
Speaker 2: you do not have to tip me, It's fine, did
Speaker 2: you say bump?
Speaker 1: All right? Then Danny and Jason chat in the poolhouse.
Speaker 1: Now this was.
Speaker 2: We should say that Danny is laid out like a mummy,
Speaker 2: trying to just blink away the inebriation. When Jason walks out.
Speaker 1: How much does an uber cost to Santa Clarita.
Speaker 2: At that time at night, probably sixty seventy dollars. Feels
Speaker 2: like it's with the Apple card and get out of there.
Speaker 1: But no, he's going to go find a pool house
Speaker 1: to sleep and to then be trapped like a fucking
Speaker 1: drunken rat, which I mean, if you think about it,
Speaker 1: it was genius. Jason goes in first, Hey, how are
Speaker 1: you doing? Hey? Good, sit down, let's talk.
Speaker 2: And then, of course, what do you want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about stuff that we were heard you.
Speaker 2: Had a rough, rough time in Mexico. Huh, said Lala.
Speaker 2: I should go back to her husband. You know she
Speaker 2: doesn't have a husband, right, I said, Then Janet heads in,
Speaker 2: and Lala had his heads in as well, and Danny says,
Speaker 2: you know I do. I'm sorry for saying that you
Speaker 2: should go back to your husband, because I know that
Speaker 2: you don't have a husband. You just have that guy
Speaker 2: that you were intertwangles and twine Gold's with killed Bruce Willis.
Speaker 2: She goes, thank you for saying that.
Speaker 1: I can't believe Na let her guard down to leave
Speaker 1: this little guy alone for that long.
Speaker 2: Big mistake, big mistake, big mistake. And and he goes,
Speaker 2: you know, I am sorry for saying you should go
Speaker 2: back to your husband. That was a nasty thing to say.
Speaker 2: And Janet goes, is that all you're gonna apologize for?
Speaker 2: And Danny goes, what the fuck? What what do you
Speaker 2: have to say? And Janet, Janet is just a wretched
Speaker 2: human being, Janet. We don't fault Janet necessarily for saying
Speaker 2: the things about Danny. Danny is inappropriate with women, He's
Speaker 2: inappropriate period.
Speaker 1: He's drunk.
Speaker 2: She's right. She can't say anything with a clean conscience ever,
Speaker 2: because she doesn't have a clean one. She's not there
Speaker 2: for other women. She's just trying to take this couple down.
Speaker 2: She's not truly apologetic to Nia about anything. She's trying
Speaker 2: to take them down. So at every turn it's revealed
Speaker 2: that Janet's true colors are No, I'm not going to
Speaker 2: let this go. I'm going to keep flaming it until
Speaker 2: it kills you guys. So yeah, just another kind of
Speaker 2: fetid ingredient in this stew of a show. I mean
Speaker 2: needs new blood. Also, she gets up from conflict way
Speaker 2: too often mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: Yes, walks off. I will say this was a great moment.
Speaker 1: I did not see her throwing a drink on him
Speaker 1: and him for him to just go like I'm out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then Laala realizing how the dynamics of TV works
Speaker 1: like that wasn't good? Yeah, because he gave him You
Speaker 1: gave him power now.
Speaker 2: Well and also like we were kind of getting somewhere,
Speaker 2: we were going to have a conversation about this. You
Speaker 2: made it about yourself and then you threw a cup
Speaker 2: at him. Now there was little to no alcohol or
Speaker 2: liquid in that cup. But he gets up, tells Nia,
Speaker 2: and Nia begins to spiral.
Speaker 1: Well, hold on, I want to say this, this is
Speaker 1: the world we live in where Danny can now say
Speaker 1: you assaulted me?
Speaker 2: Sure, right, right?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Do we want to live in that world.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I do think in terms of the
Speaker 2: levels of assault, grabbing somebody's ass is much more assault
Speaker 2: than throwing a cup. But he can say that, and
Speaker 2: you know, he who knows that the reunion, we may
Speaker 2: get to that low.
Speaker 1: Lo I will then assault him.
Speaker 2: But Nia does her her best, like Nancy Reagan, where
Speaker 2: she's going around just going these people are not for us.
Speaker 1: Then get off the show.
Speaker 2: Then fucking leave.
Speaker 1: You're on a reality show. This is what you do.
Speaker 1: You really aren't friends. You're playing a game here.
Speaker 2: We can't have this awestruck hurt approach to all of
Speaker 2: this conflict. We can't do this. We can't shepherd your
Speaker 2: husband away from entertaining the audience. We can't be confused
Speaker 2: about the dynamic of the relationship as often as you are.
Speaker 2: And it's not even working because we know that you're
Speaker 2: more of a game player than this. We know that
Speaker 2: you're not surprised or confused by this at all.
Speaker 1: Right, and the last moment of the night really says
Speaker 1: it all. Janet, how upset are you by all this
Speaker 1: and being triggered that you will then three and a
Speaker 1: half minutes later, kiss Michelle Laala? Was it Lala or Michelle?
Speaker 1: For her birthday?
Speaker 2: Laala kissed Michelle?
Speaker 1: Oh La La kis Michelle?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah? Oh I think Oh I.
Speaker 1: Thought it was Janet.
Speaker 2: Oh really.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Michelle gets a kiss from Janet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought she was going to kiss Lala.
Speaker 1: I could be wrong. All right, let me know. Pat's
Speaker 1: an idiots.
Speaker 2: We'll be back for the reunion. It's a three parter.
Speaker 1: I don't think we need three.
Speaker 2: Who are you to say? I want to go back
Speaker 2: to Brittany getting ready for people to come over to
Speaker 2: her house. She put out a lot of shellfish.
Speaker 1: Tell us about that, Johnny from uh No One gives
Speaker 1: a Foxville Yeah Once to know, Zach when you shit
Speaker 1: your pants at Chili's? Did any of the tendees ask
Speaker 1: any questions?
Speaker 2: Uh? This is from Darren from Threads Schwarts. What was
Speaker 2: it like to hear Michelle and Lawla talk about their
Speaker 2: fathers at the beach? We'll be back. I'm dying.
Speaker 3: Say goodbye, Pat, say goodbye bye.
Speaker 1: He is your head