Speaker 1: She's fallen under this category of we already know that
you're useless, so you're unfirable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are no expectations. Yep, yep, yep, which seems
stupid to me. There have to be expectations.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we've had we had Kiko, who you know,
he wasn't that bad. He just knew how to make
one Brazilian fish stew and just kept serving that.
Speaker 2: And then you know, the.
Speaker 3: The death Knell was serving Domino brownies to black people,
which is inappropriate. Hi, hello there, everybody listening, And Hi,
hello there. This is another below Deck podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm Dylan, and that's pat permission to come aboard. Granted.
What's up, dude? Not much.
Speaker 3: We've got an episode of Below Deck to recap. This
episode of this podcast brought to you by Magic Mind,
Tropical Smith, kiv Oh and also Body Smart. That's right,
Oh my gosh, three ad episode everybody. We'll do our
best to make them funny. If you want to listen
to them, they'll be great, they'll be super humorous. But
if you don't want to listen to them, go to
patreon dot com. Slash another podcast network where we are
also breaking down ABC's the Bachelor at What a magnificent
journey it's been for Gen, for Blaze, for Goose, for
all involved.
Speaker 2: I'm enjoying it. Yeah, it's good, and you get to
enjoy it too. Dylan, you mentioned the Patreon dot com
slash another podcast netwid for five bucks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, donate a little a little more. So, what's up, dude?
Did you like the episode?
Speaker 2: It's my favorite episode of the season. Yeah. And you
know why, what makes great TV, Dylan villains horrible people. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say all the Charter guests were
horrible people. There was really just a couple. Yeah, the
others were lovely. Yeah, but it only takes two in
the batch to make it.
Speaker 2: Rotten, right, right, right?
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean if you're making some kind of bitches
brew and you add just a drop of arsenic or
a drop of sie, and it'll kill everybody, you know.
I don't think the Jonestown punch was all bad, you know,
it just had a couple of things in it that
wiped out the whole cult.
Speaker 1: Imagine me and the guy to live though, and he
drank it. He's like, Hey, I'm not feeling anything. Larry,
I wonder, Larry.
Speaker 3: I wonder if seeing Larry and the rest of the
Jonestown cult parish, if he was disillusioned by the teachings,
or if he was like I'd say.
Speaker 2: Or or if he was like I learned a lot
and I'm dead. Yeah. Great.
Speaker 3: Well, you know we're trying to pass through the firmament
into a more pure world. So I gotta say they
were awful, revolting, disgusting, one or two specifically, but.
Speaker 2: Sandy's conversation with them was, oh, the kindergartener teacher moment
about kindness.
Speaker 3: I mean, we've seen worse people on this show, or
at least equal, and we haven't had any like crisscross
apple sauce.
Speaker 2: Everybody, sit down, I want to talk about ethics with you, guys.
I mean that was crazy.
Speaker 1: Let me say this. Yeah, well it was uncomfortable. It was,
in fact amazing.
Speaker 2: They would have been unnecessary. Can dare I say? Unprofessional? Yeah?
I loved it, though, But Sandy, keep in mind they
were rude.
Speaker 1: In short, with the help one of them didn't take
a shit on the floor and point to it and
say one of you eat it.
Speaker 3: Right, because that, yeah, would have garnered them. Getting to
talking to you like this.
Speaker 2: I'm glad we agree on that, because I was like.
Speaker 1: Whoa that that little talk was absolutely inappropriate.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, it was great TV. Though, great TV. Well,
to be fair, Bailey died, so you know she was
in probably in a moment. Let's cut her a break.
How many pots? Oh well, I'm not done yet. I
need to attack these people. Okay.
Speaker 1: First off, I'm gonna pronounce some names wrong. I think
it's naisla whatever.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you got it. It sounds like you
got it right, Okay, and that's that's a microaggression. And
you know that, and everybody knows that.
Speaker 1: Okay, fair enough, go back to Riverside or whether filthy
yucky normy region you're from, because you are low rent trash.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and and and I'd love to have you on
the podcast.
Speaker 3: Here here are something we would love to have every
single one of these people on the show individually. Maybe two,
I mean, you know, not too many. It'll be a mess.
But you know, when we're talking about cutlerie and caviar service,
let's let's drop the act and let's all just be
honest that you're on a heavily discounted one day charter.
Speaker 2: Okay, so.
Speaker 1: Stop you know, I think sometimes want to be People
want to give a portrayal of what they think Leonardo
DiCaprio would behave, like when he his yacht why And
the truth is Leo probably behaves himself because you know,
someone will take a picture of video and send it
to TMC.
Speaker 2: So Leo's on his best behavior. He does not fuck
with the staff about the correct knife.
Speaker 3: No, I mean he takes twenty three year olds into
the main suite and he duct tapes headphones to his
head and listens to death metal while he plows away
at them, which is yeah, you know, listen what people.
Speaker 1: Do behind closed doors and control. It's not our business,
their business. Well, okay, so these people are idiots. I
saw right through it.
Speaker 2: I see through.
Speaker 1: Classless morons trying to look like they're Richie rich a
mile away. It's so transparent. Yeah, because you're always critiquing.
I couldn't stand these people. And Dyllan, you pointed out,
I have to get a hold of one of these
sea rats, and we can't have Bravo pr on the
phone with us when we do it, because I have
to ask him, are you guys, is there a different
way that you're looking at service? Knowing that it's not
sixty thousand dollars a day, it's five thousand. It's probably
twenty five hundred dollars. A person still treating you like
a piece of crap. Does that affect how you serve them?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see maybe, you know, I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 3: We're trying to be good with Bravo, so I don't
know if we can ever speak to a searet ever
again without Bravo there, But we'll.
Speaker 2: See, Okay.
Speaker 1: All in all, it's uh sixty thousand dollars, sixty thousand
dollars a day taste on a twenty five hundred dollars
a day budget, Go fuck yourself one hundred knots really yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, halfway through the episode, Kermit started saying
what I was thinking in my head.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Kermit, you go there girl. Yeah. Yeah. Asha
had a marvelous episode.
Speaker 3: I'm, you know, falling in love more and more with
Asha and with Sandy with every episode they're just Ashia
is such a fucking rock star, especially this episode. Like
to know where the line is to go, Oh you
know what, Actually, no, you're not gonna fucking do that, Okay, bitch.
Speaker 1: That was one of those moments where I think, as
Kermit's staring down NASA's Nala's whatever, the nause eating I'm
gonna call her Nasey Yeah, okay, nausea all right.
Speaker 2: Greek god of sickness, annoyingness, Yeah okay.
Speaker 1: I think Kermit was staring her down the eyes, and
as she was saying, I've been doing this for twenty years,
it was hey, loser.
Speaker 2: We all know that you pay twenty five hundred dollars
to be sure, don't you. Damn yeah, try this?
Speaker 3: Uh don't mother of pearl may okay, ninety one pots.
So let's get into it. We left off with Bree
not just not being good at laundry, but kind of
in this like Dragon ball Z time capsule.
Speaker 2: That room is.
Speaker 3: I mean, she's losing her mind. She's losing her she's
losing her mind. Now dyl you know who else has
lost his mind?
Speaker 1: He says, regarding as they prepped the boat, you know,
for the charter guests coming on. He's going to try
and avoid any more hiccups like the ones in the
previous charters. Hiccup would be leaving a dirty glass on one.
Speaker 2: Of the tables. Overnight. It's not being in an other
dimension and not seeing people. Yeah no, And we got
to cut that's label as a funk up right.
Speaker 3: We got to cut him some slack though, because he is,
you know, he's been tapped by they, you know, the
fifth dimensional beings?
Speaker 2: Who they.
Speaker 3: You know, the same people that led who was in
two thousand and one space honesty, who's the main guy?
Oh god, I don't let us know in the comments.
The same people that led him to that room where
he turned into a baby are the people who have
tapped Ian to hold together the realms to what end?
I'm not sure, But with that responsibility, we've got to
cut some slack because I'm sure that's very distract I
bet it is, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you'd you'd be right to bet that
it is.
Speaker 3: So. I just I see him in the cosmos with
ropes of energy just tied to all of his limbs,
and he's just doing everything he can to not completely
collact the universe, and he's got to worry about fucking
lines and shit.
Speaker 2: I mean, I have a lot of sympathy.
Speaker 3: That's what happened to his hair, probably too, that's why
he wears a hat. Yeah, exactly, so Gail doesn't have
tender experience.
Speaker 2: Life is about little winds.
Speaker 3: Very cute that she's so excited about this. They pick
up provisions, including the balloon wreath for the fire and
ice party.
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably about three hundred bucks. I got one from
my daughter for her fourth birthday. It was frozen, you know, yes,
n and yeah, three hundred bucks. Those things cost a
lot of money.
Speaker 2: That movie really had quite an impact. Huh.
Speaker 1: You know, I've seen it twenty times from beginning to end.
Speaker 2: I bet you like it. Very overrated?
Speaker 1: Felt Oh really, I don't like it, and I don't
actually like the message ating of it.
Speaker 2: What it's the messaging of it?
Speaker 1: Well, it's bonding over sisters. But one of them gets
really mad because she doesn't want her sister to marry
a guy because she thinks he's a loser.
Speaker 2: It turns out he is, so she was right.
Speaker 1: Right, but as a result, she almost hurts the entire town,
freezes the entire town, and then rather than fix it,
it just wanders off out into the cold and lives
in a cast.
Speaker 2: Got it, got it? Got it?
Speaker 3: So it's a tale of kind of like short sighted inventions,
that kind of thing. Yeah, well, it's probably better than Greece.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, except you know a lot of
people don't talk about Grease Dell. The last third of
that film really falls off. Oh yeah, and then you have,
of course, have the last two songs, but it makes.
Speaker 2: Up for it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, I love that film so much.
They it's just such a special movie. Everybody's forty except
for the Puerto Rican dance queen who is sixty. And
you know, Oliviaton John is just smoking by the end
of it.
Speaker 1: So you also pointed out, Dylan, nothing says female empowerment
and like change.
Speaker 3: Just conform to the demands and the esthetic wishes of
Danny Zuko. Therein you will find fulfillment, self love and happiness.
Let's talk about Magic Mind. Magic Mind is a magical company.
It is a mental performance shot that will send you
to the stars. How many languages are you at?
Speaker 2: Six? So we've gone from nineteen to six and we
have I've been taking my Magic Mind.
Speaker 1: I drank all my shipment and also our nanny has
been drinking it too.
Speaker 2: She just gave her her resignation in yesterday.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we've lost a lot of home care to
Magic mind. But that's a good thing, right, These positions
aren't permanent, They are stepping stuff.
Speaker 1: The spectrum though, from going from a nanny to an
astronaut is pretty big.
Speaker 2: Though, yeah, proud of it.
Speaker 3: It's absolutely marvelous. But magic Mind can get you there.
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Do you want to be a god, You'll be one.
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Speaker 2: Okay, so guests arrive.
Speaker 3: Guests arrive, they are already quite pissed about the whole
tender thing, and as they hop aboard, they proclaim, I
hope they have mother of pearl spoons. This is one
of these things that you know, I mean, you can
just tell from a mile away that they don't know
what the fuck they're talking about. Because if you go
to a Michelin Star restaurant, the likes of which they
want replicated on this boat with one chef. The canals
will be made with silver spoons in the back of house,
so we really don't need to do this whole fucking thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but will balloon reefs be there as well? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, because yeah, nothing, says Michelin experts like a
balloon reef. You know, that would delight a nine year old.
You know, I heard that the eleven Ye Laundry has
like five of them in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, eleven Masson Park and French Laundry. You know, you're you.
Speaker 3: You get up and you move throughout the restaurant, and
as you do, the balloon wreaths are kind of color
themed to the vibe or ethos of the next setting.
Speaker 2: Last time I was there, two of them were carrots.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was about well, so maybe
they're right. Mike Dunks. They set up a basketball hoop
because he's an ex basketball player. I hope that he
requested that because it's not even a racial thing.
Speaker 2: It's like a it's a work thing.
Speaker 3: Like it's like giving a So somebody is a retired
lawyer and you put like one of those those big
leather bound books in front of it, like well, I
don't do this anymore.
Speaker 1: You remember my birthday that my wife threw it for me.
We went to the nice place where we dined. There
was a bunch of microphones around me, right, you remember that.
Speaker 3: It's like, why have you put a basketball hoop up?
I think it was requested, I hope. So the couches
are an eyesore. The guest asked the sea rats to
move the couches for a picture. They make it seem,
or they made it seem in the previews that it
was this, I want them gone until we're gone, or
at least that's what I picked up on getting them
out of the way for a picture. I didn't think
was that ridiculous. But we really start to get into
the deep waters of scumbag behavior when you point to
an espresso martini that is ten feet away from you
and you tell someone to go get it for you
without a please, thank you? Really just a point. I
couldn't do that. No, I couldn't do it. Could not
do it. I don't care if I was a billionaire.
I could not do that. I could not do it.
I mean, what on planet Earth over compensated? It's just crazy, man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I used to notice this.
Speaker 1: When I worked at that recording studio, it would always
be well rich people call it new money. It's just
it would be a new artist that got signed to
a label. They were always the ones bossing me around,
sending me out on ten different runs to go get
different types of things. It was like wow, and I
could never figure it out. Do you think this is
what led Zeppelin behave like? And they probably did, don't
get far worse.
Speaker 3: I mean they shoved salmon on people's or I think
or shark bull sharks. Yeah, something like that, which seems
physically impossible to me, let alone.
Speaker 2: Sexual and animal abuse.
Speaker 3: So that's quite a quite an ad lib we filled
out there with that.
Speaker 1: It was on page one hundred and seventeen in Hamma
of the Golds.
Speaker 2: Yeah really yeah, that was a lot of fodder for
this third grader. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And whoat Hammer of the Gods? I don't know, is
it some Rolling Stone journalist ors?
Speaker 2: Probably hit job? Definitely? Yeah.
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, you're in the circle of trust. Okay,
don't tell anybody about the fish for shoving up people.
It's ridiculous. Where's your tect so and we'd love to
have any of these people on, as we said, but
again we should remind you you are on a discount
day trip.
Speaker 2: Don't be You're not in there will be blood.
Speaker 3: Okay, You're not a fucking Rockefeller, so stop doing this.
Speaker 2: The guests spend some time in the water.
Speaker 3: Ellie goes out to give a vodka soda to somebody, right,
and you want to take this?
Speaker 2: Well, I kind of forget.
Speaker 1: But it was like one of those things like, hey,
let's let's all put in an order together, as.
Speaker 3: Opposed to well, even worse. I mean that it graduated
to that. But she brings the Vodkasota out to one
woman who's asked for a vodkasoda. The other woman says,
where's mine. Ellie says, oh, well, she I only got
an order for one, and she says, I thought you
were gonna surprise me.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what I don't know? Maybe the balk and
biscuit can read mine. What is going on with you people?
How could you possibly I think that that's even remotely logically.
Speaker 1: A couple of these charter guests strike me as extreme narcissistic,
and so they will be hearing this.
Speaker 2: I just know that about oh yeah, yeah, yeah, please
please come on and defend this behavior. Oh yeah, please,
we will not edit it. We will play it just
as the interview.
Speaker 1: Please contact us, Yeah yeah, or if any of you
savvy barnacles want to do this, this will just make
good podcasts. If you can find Nasha or Marhisha I
think that's how you say her name. Find them, tell
them we were talking shit about them and we'd love
to have them on, and we will have them on.
Gosh Chuck and Erica simple Chuck, I'm still friends with
Erica Rose. We had the same obg y n who
passed away. We bonded over there. He was a good guy.
Speaker 3: So the primary wance a culinary masterpiece of rivals Michelin
Star cuisine. So we're getting ready for that evening. The
dry ice is there, the caviar is there, the whole
nine yards. They almost popped the fire and ice wreath,
which would have been an absolute disaster because you can't
have a East Egg or West Egg Gatsby kind of
party without this reaff Oh yeah, but while the guests
sample the caviar, they ask for the chef.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, and.
Speaker 1: By the way, having caviar nothing says class like caveo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just this, Like, what what sky Mall magazine
are you guys using for this fucking bag.
Speaker 1: It's like it's just fucking crazy. Also, what would you
like to know? It's fish fucking eggs. Yeah, and they
go great on a cracker, anything else you'd like to know?
Speaker 3: Well, Asha calls Johnno up and you know, this is
really the only fumble of Asha's entire performance this evening.
Speaker 2: Otherwise she was flawless. She phones him up.
Speaker 3: She goes, Hey, they'd like to talk to you about
She just said they'd like to talk to you. Hey,
send up a flair. Tell him they want to talk
about the caviar. Give him a second to goog you
know what I mean, because otherwise he just he's coming
up to a firing squad.
Speaker 2: Luckily for them. I don't think she knew he was
coming up to a firing squad.
Speaker 3: Well luckily for them. They and it's the same thing
with the butter fish knife thing. They don't want to
really inquire about anything. They just want to exercise control
and dissatisfaction over the help. So this woman has no
questions because she has no knowledge of caviar. She just says,
this tastes like shit. Get out of my face dirty
wash cloth, to.
Speaker 1: Be exact, And so he let her know that it's
beluga cavia, which I don't know if a lot of
people know this. I only knew this because we worked
for our former employer. We put a sampling of it
in one of our boxes, so I had to learn
a little bit about beluga Caviare was actually against the
law to propagate or whatever for about twenty years because
that type of fish was going extinct. So it's pretty
hard to get up until like twenty seventeen. So it's
it's kind of in demand. Yeah, So doesn't that make
you like it better? You fucking want to be.
Speaker 3: Right, And it's also kind of an acquired taste. And
it's also just a spiritually unwell thing to consume.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just bizarre fish shapes. It's just like.
Speaker 3: I mean, listen, we're the masters of the universe. We
get to harvest whatever we want from animals. But it's
just how I cut you open, you pull out all
the eggs babies.
Speaker 2: It's just nuts. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And just to put a final point on Dylan's point,
calling something that is expensive piss does.
Speaker 3: Not elevate, you know, it doesn't so classless. She's loses
another dress. But before we get there, I have thoughts
on this, yes, okay.
Speaker 1: So the way that she kind of works out how
she should not be punished on this is she's going
to beat it with a technicality, which is even though
it's a mess up, it was done prior to her
given the ultimatum.
Speaker 2: She Bob Shapiro is the whole thing. Okay.
Speaker 1: I experienced this so on one of our past aps
shows a long time ago. I had a next door
neighbor in this shitty apartment I lived next to, name Rob.
Speaker 2: Rob wanted to kill me. I had Rob put in
jail twice for trying to kill me.
Speaker 1: So I tell the landlord, hey, Rob's trying to kill
me and he's been arrested twice for it. I sent
the police reports. I want this guy out of here.
So they send him a letter that says, Rob, if
you do anything bad to Pat, you're out of here.
You're getting evicted.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So, come to find out, he put nails my goddamn tire.
I let them know and they said when did you
find him? And I said yesterday. They said, that's before
we sent the letter. Beat you on a technicality, right right, Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, listen, the the justice system is a very flawed system.
You know, Like we've talked about before, the man that
killed three to four women by betting them and then
staging a robbery wherein he would save himself and nobody
else and then take.
Speaker 2: All their money.
Speaker 3: Even if you can't nail the guy with forensic evidence,
he did it.
Speaker 2: It's been four times. That's right. We need common sense,
that's what we need. Yeah, common sense.
Speaker 3: You know, listen, you are not going to fall into
the throes of any bloodlust or anything.
Speaker 2: If you were on tropic time. You're just not.
Speaker 3: You're absolutely not. You're going to be way too blissful,
way too full, and way too happy. Dell.
Speaker 1: Let me admit some I could hang out with Marhisha yeah,
and Naisla on nausea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, on the beach. As long as I'm drinking.
Speaker 1: A tropical Cafe Cafe smoothie, I'm having the best time
of my life.
Speaker 2: If you have a watermelon behator on your hand.
Speaker 3: There, got friends, Hey, I love you guys. You know what,
I'd go a step further. I'd say, you know, let's
time travel a little bit. You're in the trenches of
World War One, And do.
Speaker 2: I have a musket? You have one of those knives
on the end of it.
Speaker 3: You have a musket, it's it's jammed, it's it's the
barrel is soaked in mud and blood.
Speaker 2: Oh, so it doesn't work.
Speaker 3: It doesn't work, and there's a stampede coming. If you
have a watermelon, bit boheto i'd bean.
Speaker 1: I just hold it up and just say, hey, why
don't we just call it a day? Yeah, And the
thing is we're on topic time now.
Speaker 3: They would send some kind of ambassador over the mound
to go, well, listen.
Speaker 2: Let's try it.
Speaker 3: And if he took one sip, you know, Franz Ferdinand
be gone. The whole thing would have gotten sort of over.
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Speaker 2: Now and then, according to Sandy, be kind.
Speaker 3: So the dress is in Ellie's bag, it is not washed,
and she's protected by the technicality.
Speaker 2: She's got to.
Speaker 3: Be up there with some of the worst sea rats
we've ever had. I mean, I would say it's usually
in the chef department.
Speaker 1: Hold on, we've had worse, but they've been fired. She's
fallen under this category of we already know that you're useless,
so you're unfirable. There are no expectations yep, yep, yep,
which seems stupid to me. There have to be expectations.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, we've had We had Kiko, who you know.
Speaker 2: He wasn't that bad.
Speaker 3: He just knew how to make one Brazilian fish stew
and just kept serving that.
Speaker 2: And then you know the the.
Speaker 3: Death Knell was serving Domino Brownie's to black people, which
is inappropriate.
Speaker 2: And Hannah told him to do that because she was
on pills. But yeah, cheese is one of the worst
we've ever seen.
Speaker 3: So anyways, the caveat well, Ellie equally wrong, goes I
could take this upstairs and get her fired, but she's bamby,
so we can't do that. I don't know that you could, Ellie,
because remember Sandy hates both of you, So I don't
know that that would work the way that you think
it's gonna work.
Speaker 2: So the dinner is served.
Speaker 1: It's I'll let you get into it. I just want
to say, Kermit does something here and Sandy's done it,
which is the plate goes down in front of the
paying guests. They take two bites out of it. They
stand over them, lording over. You can see their shadow,
and they go, how's the food be?
Speaker 2: Like, get out of here? Yeah, what are.
Speaker 1: You still doing here? You put the plate down? Right,
there's old Patty being mean. Yeah, no, one of those
charging gases.
Speaker 2: I'm want to do.
Speaker 3: Well. It's the same thing they do with the French laundry,
you know, they drop the bread and they just watch.
Speaker 1: When my mom worked at a restaurant, she couldn't afford
to send me anywhere, so I just go to work
with her all day at King's Corner Restaurant in Leominster, Massachusetts. Right,
and so one day I made the mistake. The food
gets put down in front of these two blue hairs.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: They're sitting there gobbling up whatever, swell their goblin up.
And I just sit across the legged just watching them eat.
And they turn to me and tell a six year old.
At some point, hey get lost. Scare the hell out
of it.
Speaker 3: We're trying to eat our chicken pop pie without our dentures.
Get the fuck out of here. This is an undignified experience.
Speaker 2: They could have been nicer about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, but they're very close to the ground, so
we'll give them a little slack. So seared sea bass
and crab couscous. That's weird. Crab couscous sounds weird to me,
but you too. Yeah, But in a wild turn of events,
they like the food. I thought the plating was amateur,
and I thought that they were absolutely going to get
crucified for sending this out to these high, high class,
exquisite Palette clients, but they actually gobbled it all up
like the shit pumps they are.
Speaker 2: We then get to can I do a mean while? Yeah? Sure.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Joe in the Balkan Biscuit, they kind of run
into each other and they started a flirt a bit,
and then Joe tells is like, hey, a few days ago,
I thought I lost the Balkan Biscuit, But I think
there's a chance to rekindle that magic, sure, and and
have meaningless, forgettable sea rat sex. I think that seems
doable for him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and somebody could argue, I'm sure you're listening.
Speaker 3: You're going you may be driving off the road going well,
why pat, how it could be memorable?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, there's no way the way.
Speaker 1: If you internet interview enough sea rats like dyl and
I have, and you hear them reflect back on their
past hookups, you'd have the same feeling as I said,
most of the time they want to erase sea rats
hookups from their memory entirely.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, we've talked to so many sea rants and
we've heard of them all say the same thing. They
all say, you know that wand for men in black,
I wish those actually existed.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 3: Well, and also this flirtation is transpiring over garbage. M hmm, yeah,
how are we getting hot and heavy over garbage? I
think there's some kind of like pulling out or something that,
like what what's going on?
Speaker 2: That's a funny thought.
Speaker 1: You know what you know where workplace never happens the
sewage the sewage.
Speaker 3: Factory, No, no know, because it's all men who hate
who No, I mean, listen, who's to say I don't
know the disposition of anybody working at a sewage plant?
Speaker 2: Hey, you up with Tina? The new office gown. Yes
you spelled like shit. Well you you did too, to
be fair, so yeah, that's you cancel.
Speaker 1: You know what in high school, they took us on
a field trip to a sewage I think it was
trying to teach us about, like, you know, being more
green and how all the recycling of water. And I
remember I literally saw that herbine of sewage going through
and I saw a carrot in poop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we did it pass through a human or
do you think that it was just like throwing because it.
Speaker 1: Was all poop and I could see the various other
things that were that hadn't been processed through the body.
I was like, that's definitely a piece of a carrot.
Speaker 2: Well, what cease?
Speaker 3: And I do my darling, Cia and I do if
any carrots have gone bad, we just chuck them in
the toilet because it makes it could fit through the
pipe and it's perfect, you know it kind of it
just makes sense to us.
Speaker 2: So that's probably what happened.
Speaker 3: These people are talking about debutante balls while Joe and
Ellie are flirting. The one Lady Swamp Yeah yeah, with
a goose fan says her mother used to make her
watch VHS tapes about etiquette, which is.
Speaker 2: Creepy. That is so fucking strange to me.
Speaker 3: But she complains that these fucking idiots put out a
butter knife with no bread.
Speaker 2: Service while fanning herself. Oh, when she's speaking on I'm
sorry we're not at the Olive go when you're here,
your family, and thank you for letting us know. I
got to be better with the names.
Speaker 3: But somebody let me know that that is in fact
the mantra of Olive Garden. When you're here, you're family.
Speaker 2: You're also sad. You know, before the birth of our
you're being poisoned.
Speaker 1: Before the birth of our daughter, Ellie, we went to
Olive Garden as our last meal before we went and
checked into the hospital to give birth Ellie. Yeah, And
in my mind I was thinking, yeah, if we get
in a car accident right now, the news will report
sad company a couple yeah, before going to the hospital
for their firstborn died tragically after eating at all of.
Speaker 3: But I know that that would be the headline, but
there would be kind of a there would be a
debate about whether or not to put.
Speaker 2: That in the report.
Speaker 3: Like you know, they this is a tragedy they all perished,
But do we need to kind of add insult to
injury and say that they were hopped up on Italian
wedding soup and redsticks yoga before they perished.
Speaker 2: You know what? Even he is in that chicken Alfredo, God,
God knows. Yeah. So she is wondering about telling the service,
and she has a certain like bashful glee about the
whole thing. She's really a piece of information.
Speaker 3: Excited to tell Asha that she fucked up, and she does,
and Asha returns fire. She says, actually, it's a fish
knife because the uh it's a protein that's more delicate
than you know, you stake your pork, your chicken.
Speaker 2: She said, that's what that's for.
Speaker 3: And the lady is incensed because, again similar to the
caviar thing, she didn't want to have a conversation about this.
Speaker 2: She just wanted to embarrass Asia. That's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, something else must have been getting under Nausea's uh
skin earlier in the day to kind of feel like
you got to put this forth. I'm feeling like she
has nacks to grive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nausea has got to get into a life or
death situation, you know, similar to Larry David tumbling in
the waves of zooma beach. Your life has to flash
before your eyes in order to change the kind.
Speaker 2: Of nauseous character that is taking over your life. It's
not beneficial to really anybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and by the way, Dell, after this little bumping
of heads here, she proceeds to do what most morons
do when they've been put in their place.
Speaker 2: She doubles down and gets angry.
Speaker 3: Talk about doubling down, she says out loud, loudly. Yeah, well,
your caviar surface sucked. And listen, it Did's right. You're
a gremlin, you know. I think that what's the old
adage gremlins can be right twice a day?
Speaker 2: Is that it?
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean you're your bones bend in different ways,
but you're you're right. The caviar service did kind of sound.
Speaker 1: Now let me say this thoughdil Now, we have laid
off the other charter guests because they haven't been as
vocal and as annoying and some.
Speaker 2: Of the other some of the other charter gress were
just really nice. But the annoying charter guests have spouses. Yes,
you got to speak up spouses. Okay, my wife gets
at me all the time, if I say something annoying, stupid,
or rude, I get a fucking jab right in my chest.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you know, spousal relationships, monogamous love. You know,
you're supposed to make each other better, that's right, right.
You're not supposed to cower and fear because you've tried
to speak up too many times about your wife or
your husband throwing wine at waiters because it's too dry
or too oaky, which is something that I'd imagine these
people would do at the Olive Garden.
Speaker 2: So let's head to the stake course.
Speaker 3: But before we get there, let's take a little break
to talk about Body Smart.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: Yes, this episode is brought to you by Body Smart.
One on mone Coaching Art is.
Speaker 2: Just a common sense company, totally common sense. I don't
know why. This is the first time I've ever heard
of something like that, Jill.
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so wrapping up the episode here again.
Speaker 2: There, I got a couple page of notes. How the
hell do I have that? Yeah? I got a lot
of notes too, that's why. All right, So dyl Gale
and Nate snuggle at this point, and she has one
request for the c rat don't turn out to be
a dick. Yeah, that's a tall order there, Gil, Yeah,
he says, I won't hurt you. Yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 3: Second course tomahawk served with a smattering of beat reduction.
Everyone likes it, even the little terry or nausea. But
she can't let on. It's a little tough, she says,
because the night is now ruined for her. She's lost
in some kind of insane gauntlet she's in and now
her night is over. Sandy comes out, she tries to
bizarrely saddle up to her. I think that she wants
to tell her.
Speaker 1: Okay, So Sandy and Kerman talk in the bar another we're.
Speaker 3: Talking about when Sandy comes out to check on everybody.
Oh yes, I kind of feel that too. Sorry, yeah,
but we go upstairs. The women are not happy with
the service. They're essentially going to war with the women
of this vessel. It's really bizarre. It's internalized misogyny of
the ruling of lead and that you texted me that
before I did. We got going, and you spotted it
from a mile away, said. They send up Joe to
distract them, and it works flawlessly, despite the women seeing
exactly the trick was. Yeah, the main primary heads to bed,
but wants a snack. Only got sandwiches though, Well, the
problem is I don't eat sandwiches.
Speaker 2: Well I got some berries, Yeah, fruit will do good.
Speaker 3: This woman is, she's on the verge of grabbing the
fish knife and driving it into Asia. She's so pissed off.
Speaker 1: I bet if we talk to these horrible charter guests,
I guarantee they'll tell us there was stuff going on
behind the scenes that got under their skin.
Speaker 2: I don't think I don't think so at all.
Speaker 1: You think they've just they're coming on here with this
horrible attitude.
Speaker 2: I think they're just shit pumped people, and we'd love
to have you on. I want to have you on.
Speaker 3: I gotta know what's So we get to the next day,
breakfast is served. Ian is a management genius. While he's
holding realms together, he has kind of accidentally formed a
team that is self sufficient.
Speaker 2: Brilliant.
Speaker 3: Captain Sandy heads up to go tell the guests, well,
if one thing happens first, this is what starts this.
So in the morning, Kermit is going down the stairs
as I believe Mahitia is walking.
Speaker 2: Up the stairs. She said good moon, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Versa says, can we eat now? Yeah, And so she
tells Sandy that she was kind of rude to her back.
Speaker 3: Well, and we should also say that, you know, karma
sometimes has a long tail, and sometimes it strikes instantaneously.
That's why there are YouTube rabbit holes that you can
fall down for nineteen to sixty five hours called instant karma.
And that's exactly what the primary gets. The night before,
after she throws a fit about the sandwiches, she eats
shit on the stairs, and that's that's the you know,
we get into physics and you know, Interstellar and all
this stuff, but right there just shows you that God
does exist. Yeah yeah, yeah, or karma, right yeah, universal
forces the days of this world struck her down. So
the guests head out to well, let's talk about this
Sandy conversation.
Speaker 1: This was the best part of the episode. I cannot
believe she did this. I'm telling you, there's something behind
this where the crew in Sandy feels like she made
a case that someone paid a million dollars for a
charter and they were treating her help like her crew
like shit, dude.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's because I'm reading you know, Robin De Angelo's
one hundred and fifty page tome right.
Speaker 1: Really hold on the bulk of the charter guests are
white people on this chart.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It was weird to me that they had this conversation.
I don't want to put that on Sandy, but it was.
It was strange.
Speaker 1: I think it had more to do with than I
know how much you get that and I know you
guys only paid collactively twenty thousand dollars for this, which,
by the way, if you think, if you think about it,
all right, So let's we're running over the episode. Yeah,
having talked to the sea rats as I have and
behind the scenes below deck in order to get people
on these boats. Now, they are not paying for these boats. No,
the tip is what they're paying. Right, So if you
see eight people or six people, it was basically about
twenty five hundred dollars for the full day each person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get to be.
Speaker 1: On TV, you got to go on that nice little
tour of the town, you get to be on a yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, because wealthy people don't want their shit. They're dirty
laundry out.
Speaker 1: They did it the first three seasons and they saw
what happens to them when they're on TV.
Speaker 2: So the guests had out to an ancient Greek node.
Speaker 3: Obviously we will turn this into a backdrop for Instagram
photos and not take in any of the cosmic beauty
of it. They speak on fertility and Ellie is validated.
Her and Joe I think are going to have children.
Ellie needs to calm down. Joe is a scumbag who
it may you know, maybe he evolves into, you know,
a father and a response male and a productive member
of society, but right now.
Speaker 2: He's just addicted to pussy when he gets drunk.
Speaker 1: And also Joe is a sad example of what happens
with guys at some point if they're lucky, which is
one minute, no one wants you. Uh, next next moment,
you got two women after you, And then you think
you're fucking George Clooney.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're not. Yeah. No, George Clooney's not gay.
Speaker 3: No. So it turns out that Bailey died it was
more Leah's dog. But Sandy's away from Leah. I think
that's what makes her so sad. I just fucking love Sandy.
I don't know what is happening, but she's just amazing ye,
And I don't know.
Speaker 2: It got me, It got me in my.
Speaker 3: Feels when she talks about the losses that you experienced
when you're out at see You miss a lot of things,
but that's the life you chose to lead.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 3: So Johno is getting ready for lunch and the guests
have turned their attitudes right the fuck around. Joe shows
Nathan a picture of Ellie and him kissing, and he wants.
Speaker 2: To vomit in his mouth.
Speaker 3: She overhears them our cheese, overhears everybody being quiet, and
she spirals and she'll fuck Joe next episode. I'm not
sure why how. I guess everybody has needs. But dare
I say cheese? You're better than that?
Speaker 2: No, I'm gonna take that back. I don't think she is.
So Joe shows already.
Speaker 3: Covered that lunch is crispy Duck scallion pancakes.
Speaker 2: We fancy out here. John O is crushing it, absolutely
crushing it.
Speaker 3: It looked so good. It looked like a perfect lunch.
I'm gonna give it ninety two pots. Wow, Yeah, very high.
Gayla is stuck between in a rock and a hard
place because Eyebrows wants absolutely nothing to do with Ellie.
Speaker 1: Where'd you save that piece of gold name? I could
use that all season?
Speaker 2: What's up? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think we've called them eyebrows before, but he it
should be the only thing that we refer to him by.
Speaker 2: Small children could play hide and seeking. Those things. They're
so thick. So it's like a follicle. Looky.
Speaker 3: So Ellie is in love with him, Gail knows he's
disgusted by her. What does Gail do the charter guests apart?
Speaker 1: Okay, so normally the charter guest departing is just a formality. Yeah,
but in this case, it was wonderful because Mahitia takes
her time to point out the love birds, right, yes, yeah,
so once again, if I had done that, my wife
would throw an elbow into my chest.
Speaker 2: Yes. Now we get into the tip. And what is
Sandy's first question? What love birds? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Way to go, Sandy, make things uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Way to go, Sandy.
Speaker 3: And the two love birds are no one. No one
on this boat are lovebirds. Now maybe Nathan and Gale,
but no, no, they're sea rats. Love is too complicated
as an emotionless Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't want love of as it's defined to be
associated with anything that's taking place on this.
Speaker 2: Boat right now. Yep. So what's tip?
Speaker 3: Well it was twenty grand a marvelous one day check
one day, yeah, hip.
Speaker 1: Just so if you aggregate that out, if it was
three days, that tip would be sixty grand.
Speaker 3: Well it wouldn't be no, it would be twenty two. Great,
it would have been twenty thousand. That's right, all right,
So next up this is kind of fun. The Balkan Biscuit.
It's probably realizing it's near the end of the season.
Speaker 1: She needs to make her mark here with some kind
of date, you know, if you go on a date,
the camera's following you, right, She asked Joe out on
the date. He says yes reluctantly, and then decides, in
a moment of clarity while speaking with Nate, hey, I
don't want to fucking do this.
Speaker 2: I gotta tell her I don't want to go.
Speaker 3: It says, it's an hour of your time and you
said yes already, so don't be a piece of shit.
But we end with him probably breaking off the date.
Speaker 2: So we'll see what happens next week.
Speaker 3: We shall see iTunes five Stars, Kind Words, Patroon, Do
Up Session, another podcast, Network, Body, Smart, Magic, Mind.
Speaker 2: Tropical Smoothie. We love you so much, have a great week.
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 3: I'm dying saying goodbye, Pat, say goodbye.