WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:01.080 Dot Org. 2 00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:11.000 KCAA is your CNBC News affiliate where the station that 3 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:13.160 gets down to business. 4 00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:18.760 The views and opinions expressed by individuals on the following 5 00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:22.199 program do not necessarily reflect those of the network, Guys 6 00:00:22.199 --> 00:00:26.800 Guy Radio and its platforms. 7 00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:29.960 It's Guys Guy Radio. 8 00:00:33.240 --> 00:00:36.320 Here's your host, Robert Manny. 9 00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:40.520 Welcome to Guys Guys Radio. This is your host, Robert Manny, 10 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:43.280 welcoming you to the place where men and women can 11 00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:46.719 be at their best and everyone wins. Guys Guys Radio, 12 00:00:47.159 --> 00:00:50.600 We're here to inform you, inspire you, empower you, and 13 00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:53.960 get you to think, feel, and who knows, maybe even 14 00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:58.119 act by virtue of the journeys, stories, experiences and insights 15 00:00:58.159 --> 00:01:00.320 of the guests I bring you each and every week 16 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:02.960 to the show, and once again this week is no exception. 17 00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:05.000 Today we're going to talk about the new rules of 18 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:09.040 attraction for those who are dating and over fifty years old. 19 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:11.879 You know, if you're over fifty and single, you've probably 20 00:01:11.879 --> 00:01:15.359 heard plenty of dating advice. Download the apps, write a 21 00:01:15.400 --> 00:01:19.400 better profile, be authentic, don't settle all good advice. But 22 00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.799 today we're taking a different approach. Instead of focusing on 23 00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:26.359 how to date, we're going to talk about how dating 24 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:30.159 itself is changing, what does attraction really look like today, 25 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:34.159 Why are couples choosing to live apart while staying deeply committed, 26 00:01:35.239 --> 00:01:38.159 how do you balance independence with intimacy, And perhaps the 27 00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:41.959 biggest quest of all, what does a successful relationship look 28 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:44.599 like at this stage of life when you're over fifty? 29 00:01:44.879 --> 00:01:46.519 Joining us once again is going to be one of 30 00:01:46.519 --> 00:01:49.400 my favorite return guests. Silka Schwartzkov, Founder and host of 31 00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:53.480 Second activ a media platform dedicated to helping people thrive 32 00:01:53.799 --> 00:01:56.200 in the second half of life. Silka has become a 33 00:01:56.239 --> 00:01:59.920 trusted voice on topics ranging from relationships and wellness to 34 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:03.920 reinvention and longevity, and she always brings a fresh mix 35 00:02:04.319 --> 00:02:07.920 of wisdom, curiosity, and common sense to the conversation. Today, 36 00:02:07.959 --> 00:02:11.080 we're going to leave behind the tired dating cliches and 37 00:02:11.159 --> 00:02:14.879 explore what's really happening for mature singles in today's world. 38 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:18.919 Whether you're actively dating, happily partnered, or simply curious about 39 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:22.680 the evolving dating landscape and modern relationships, I think you'll 40 00:02:22.680 --> 00:02:26.840 find plenty of useful takeaways. So settle in because we're 41 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:30.319 about to have a lively conversation about love, connection, and 42 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:34.479 creating relationships that truly fit the life you've built. 43 00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:36.680 It's guys guy Radio. 44 00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:41.599 Okay, guys, guys Radio. It is the interview portion of 45 00:02:41.639 --> 00:02:45.000 our show. And I am delighted to welcome back our friend, 46 00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:48.120 Soka Schwarzkoff. She is the creator and host of the 47 00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:53.400 wildly successful Second Act TV YouTube program that is just 48 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:56.120 a runaway sensation. And I'm fortunate enough to be a 49 00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:58.360 frequent guest on the show and because of that, I 50 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:01.039 got my own Second Act merch year, got my Second 51 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:02.479 Act TV mug. 52 00:03:02.759 --> 00:03:07.719 Yes, thanks calling, Thank you, Robert, Welcome back to the show. 53 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:09.280 Silka, Thank you. 54 00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:12.680 It's always fun talking with you, and I like being 55 00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:13.400 on this side. 56 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:19.560 Well, listen, you have spoken to and kind of picked 57 00:03:19.560 --> 00:03:22.479 the brains of so many dating experts male, female and 58 00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:24.960 other people, and kind of the over fifty wellness field, 59 00:03:24.960 --> 00:03:26.639 if you will. That I thought it would be great 60 00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:29.719 to bring you back and we get into dating after fifty, 61 00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:32.759 but a fresh angle, which is kind of since everything's changed. 62 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:34.639 And I was talking to my wife yesterday, I said, 63 00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:36.439 you know, I'm going to be talking with Silka about 64 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:39.400 dating over fifty. What's your take on that. My wife's 65 00:03:39.639 --> 00:03:42.479 over fifty now and she said, you know what, I'm 66 00:03:42.599 --> 00:03:45.240 I can imagine it must be really tough now because 67 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:49.039 I'm so out of that mind space, but with everything's 68 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:51.520 so complicated now, so I thought we'd frame this as 69 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:54.599 the new rules for dating after fifty. 70 00:03:54.919 --> 00:03:57.280 So I think that's true. I think that's terrific. I 71 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:03.360 think that you know, Uni is right. It does seem overwhelming, 72 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:07.120 but it's more overwhelming the longer you've been away from it, 73 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:11.639 and you know, if you're just starting, it gets easier 74 00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:15.280 and easier once you just understand, you know, the world, 75 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:19.120 the new new dating world. So that's that's what the 76 00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:19.959 channel does. 77 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:24.600 Okay, So let's well have convo on this and do 78 00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:26.480 you tell me what you think and what some of 79 00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:29.360 the experts that you've interviewed have told you. And I'll 80 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:32.160 share what I've heard from some of the experts that 81 00:04:32.199 --> 00:04:35.360 I've interviewed, and also my own practical experience as a 82 00:04:35.399 --> 00:04:37.839 guys guy on this whole thing, and from my experience 83 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:41.600 and appearances on Second Act TV. So let's start right 84 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:45.519 at the top. New rules of attraction for twenty twenty six, 85 00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:49.439 like what people over fifty are finding attractive today versus 86 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:51.639 ten years ago. And we've both been doing this about 87 00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:54.399 that time. What do you think? What's your What comes 88 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:57.879 to mind first when you hear how attraction has changed 89 00:04:57.879 --> 00:05:00.560 for people over fifty now versus ten years ago. 90 00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:05.160 Well, I think one thing we've learned is that chemistry 91 00:05:05.199 --> 00:05:07.879 isn't the most important thing. And while I say that, 92 00:05:08.759 --> 00:05:13.399 let me just really make that clear. Chemistry is extremely important. 93 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:18.240 That I mean, you have to have chemistry. However, chemistry 94 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:22.120 isn't what keeps a relationship together. And I think after fifty, 95 00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:25.000 because we have had we're older, we're older, we have 96 00:05:25.079 --> 00:05:28.879 had more experience. We may not be wiser, but we've 97 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:32.480 had a lot more experience, and we realize that relationships 98 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:37.600 that start strong with chemistry can easily end in divorce 99 00:05:37.720 --> 00:05:40.279 and have So I think that would were becoming more 100 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:43.800 conscious of that. And we discussed that, you know on 101 00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:48.959 the show a lot too. And I think another overarching 102 00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:54.439 topic would be chemistry or just the whole attraction to excitement, 103 00:05:54.759 --> 00:05:58.720 you know, is we've learned that excitement is not always 104 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:04.199 guiding principle of a relationship, that we really appreciate peace 105 00:06:04.759 --> 00:06:07.399 and believe it or not, A lot of men express that. 106 00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:10.079 So I think those are maybe some of the bigger, 107 00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:12.560 The bigger areas fascinating. 108 00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:15.240 Well, let's follow up on that. So you think emotional 109 00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:19.120 maturity has become the new chemistry. 110 00:06:19.399 --> 00:06:21.759 No, I won't say it's a new one. I think 111 00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:25.839 that we I think chemistry. And the reason I say this, Robert, 112 00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:31.199 is because we are still you know, the visual is 113 00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:34.800 the first impression, especially especially for men. Women are a 114 00:06:34.839 --> 00:06:37.920 little bit more open to understanding that that isn't everything. 115 00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:41.519 So I don't want to just underline, you know, emotional 116 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:45.399 maturity is the new chemistry. I want to clearly differentiate 117 00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:49.639 that that's what keeps a relationship together. And if we 118 00:06:50.120 --> 00:06:53.519 understood that from the start, we may give somebody who 119 00:06:54.519 --> 00:06:56.519 who are not like you know, we don't have the 120 00:06:56.519 --> 00:06:59.160 butterflies going, we might give them more of a chance 121 00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:03.279 because we realize that's how real, lasting chemistry develops. 122 00:07:03.319 --> 00:07:05.680 If that makes sense, It makes perfect sense. You know, 123 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:08.040 when I think back in high school and college and 124 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:11.040 when we're dating and stuff, and even after that, when 125 00:07:11.040 --> 00:07:13.199 I was in New York City in the marketing and 126 00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:19.120 advertising business, I never thought that status was the ultimate 127 00:07:19.399 --> 00:07:24.639 decider in terms of dating. But now it seems like 128 00:07:24.759 --> 00:07:27.639 there's a whole eighty twenty thing where you know, eighty 129 00:07:27.680 --> 00:07:29.480 percent of the women are after twenty percent of the 130 00:07:29.480 --> 00:07:32.720 guys who were super successful. It seems from a distance 131 00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:35.560 that seems to be the case now more than ever. 132 00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:38.399 It didn't seem to be as important. Status didn't seem 133 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:42.439 to be quite the differentiator or driver then than it 134 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:44.959 is now. It's like you, it's not about having a dream, 135 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:49.480 it's having your dream fulfilled. Do you think that nowadays 136 00:07:49.480 --> 00:07:53.199 and for people over fifty, that confidence is a form 137 00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:56.000 of status now or is it still all about money 138 00:07:56.040 --> 00:07:57.120 and power and position. 139 00:07:58.759 --> 00:08:00.720 Okay, so first of all, I would agree with you 140 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:04.199 that even when I was younger that yes, it's part 141 00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:05.959 of it. I mean, you don't want a day to 142 00:08:06.040 --> 00:08:08.920 lose or a man or woman or whatever that meant 143 00:08:08.920 --> 00:08:14.480 at the time. But I think it's largely superficial. It 144 00:08:14.519 --> 00:08:20.600 really is largely superficial unless it somehow displays confirms whatever 145 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:23.600 you know, that you've accomplished something in life. I think 146 00:08:23.639 --> 00:08:26.959 that's more. Maybe that's where the difference is between younger 147 00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:32.960 and now older. That if the the the cars, the whatever, 148 00:08:33.240 --> 00:08:36.159 you know, the vacations, the houses, it means that you 149 00:08:36.279 --> 00:08:42.080 have accomplished something. You're not guessing that you know whether 150 00:08:42.200 --> 00:08:44.519 or not you can. Does that make sense? 151 00:08:45.799 --> 00:08:46.000 How? 152 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:50.320 I mean? The accomplishment is one thing. But having those toys, 153 00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:52.720 if you will, whether it's the home or the car, 154 00:08:52.919 --> 00:08:57.840 or the ability to travel or are they after fifty? Now, 155 00:08:57.960 --> 00:09:01.759 do you think those are more important than kindness and compatibility? 156 00:09:02.679 --> 00:09:06.960 Absolutely not? No, No, I mean I can say that 157 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:11.799 absolutely not, because we also realize that doesn't make a relationship. 158 00:09:12.279 --> 00:09:17.000 You know, it doesn't. The toys mean nothing to a relationship. 159 00:09:17.480 --> 00:09:19.960 I lets say the other kind of toys, but not 160 00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:25.240 the car, nothing like folks. 161 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:29.600 How about authenticity then? Do you think then in the 162 00:09:29.639 --> 00:09:36.320 same kind of area we're talking about, has authenticity replaced perfection? Then? 163 00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:40.039 So it's not all about your achievements and your position 164 00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:43.799 and your wallet, but being real. You think that's something 165 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:46.840 that people that you've talked to for the over fifty 166 00:09:46.840 --> 00:09:49.440 crowd find really attractive nowadays. 167 00:09:49.960 --> 00:09:52.960 You know what I find super interesting one about the question, 168 00:09:53.080 --> 00:09:56.159 and two about what I'm starting to read and hear 169 00:09:56.919 --> 00:09:59.960 is that you know, the vulnerability is now a big 170 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:04.360 you know, everybody more vulnerable meaning authentic, show the real 171 00:10:04.480 --> 00:10:09.600 you da da da. And what happens sometimes is that 172 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:14.279 being more authentic almost becomes a show of its own 173 00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:18.720 because it's been so pushed in our faces. So it's 174 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:22.840 really super important that you actually are authentic and not 175 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:26.879 falling into another trap of pretending you are. Does that 176 00:10:26.919 --> 00:10:29.600 make sense? I mean I thought that was so interesting 177 00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:32.639 when somebody pointed that out to me. I mean, that 178 00:10:32.759 --> 00:10:33.840 makes total sense to me. 179 00:10:34.519 --> 00:10:37.879 Yeah. I think authenticity is super important, and I think 180 00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:43.039 nowadays people are still over fifty two concerned about what 181 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.879 other people think of them instead of just being themselves. 182 00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:48.759 They're always filtering in how do I answer this? And 183 00:10:48.840 --> 00:10:51.639 I guess when you're meeting for somebody, a potential partner 184 00:10:51.639 --> 00:10:53.240 for the first time, you want to you want to 185 00:10:53.279 --> 00:10:55.200 say the right thing, and you don't want to get 186 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:56.799 that X You know, you don't want to get the 187 00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:59.000 X mark right off the bat, so you're going to 188 00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:02.559 be careful about that. But to me, ultimately, it's all 189 00:11:02.600 --> 00:11:06.039 about authenticity. It's all about being who you are and 190 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:09.039 not trying to be somebody you're not, particularly for folks 191 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:12.159 over fifty because who has time to play, you know, 192 00:11:12.279 --> 00:11:14.799 charades at that point. I can see maybe when you're 193 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:16.840 younger a little bit, you want to you want to 194 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:19.320 play the game a little bit differently, but I think 195 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:21.879 for folks over fifty, you want to you don't want 196 00:11:21.879 --> 00:11:24.279 to waste time. There is a clock. It's not ticking 197 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:27.600 that loudly for some people, but it's it's ticking, and 198 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:29.879 you don't want to waste your time. So I think 199 00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:32.360 authenticity like, you want to get to who this person 200 00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:35.840 really is and ultimately how do you feel when you 201 00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:38.320 are around them? And you can't get to how do 202 00:11:38.360 --> 00:11:41.639 you feel when you're around them unless you know who 203 00:11:41.639 --> 00:11:42.000 they are? 204 00:11:42.600 --> 00:11:45.399 No, one hundred percent agree with you. That's why I 205 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:48.120 thought this one thought leader that brought us up was 206 00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:51.080 so interesting because we do realize how important it is, 207 00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:53.159 and now we have to really pay attention to showing 208 00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:55.799 who we are. This is who we are, we're not 209 00:11:56.320 --> 00:11:59.639 and got that this is I know it almost sounds 210 00:11:59.720 --> 00:12:02.559 jue now, but even at this age, and again when 211 00:12:02.559 --> 00:12:05.399 you're starting over it's been a long time, you do 212 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:08.960 think about, you know, how what does he or she want? 213 00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:09.279 You know? 214 00:12:09.320 --> 00:12:12.559 How should I? But you can't help but think that, 215 00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:15.840 and that's when you that's what It's more important than 216 00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:22.279 ever to show who you are and balance that with 217 00:12:22.440 --> 00:12:25.519 not over sharing or showing who you are. Maybe too 218 00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:28.919 soon or certain areas and that becomes a whole other conversation. 219 00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:32.799 Okay, my special guest on Guys Guys Radio is the 220 00:12:32.840 --> 00:12:35.360 one and only Silka Sports Cup of the runaway hit 221 00:12:35.720 --> 00:12:38.799 Second Act TV all over YouTube. Make sure you subscribe 222 00:12:38.840 --> 00:12:41.279 and make sure you catch me as a frequent guest 223 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:44.240 on Sulkis Show and get your merch too. Here we go, 224 00:12:44.519 --> 00:12:47.480 So let's move to another topic, which I because you 225 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:50.840 explore a lot of real niche topics on Second ACTV 226 00:12:51.159 --> 00:12:53.600 in terms of relationships. That a lot of times with 227 00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.120 the women guests, and it's really fascinating for me as 228 00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:58.679 a guy to see them, Like there's these new concepts 229 00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:03.399 like lat living apart together the relationship trend. Nobody saw 230 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:07.919 coming couples committed to one another while maintaining separate homes 231 00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:11.200 or separate bedrooms, or separate beds or a lot of separation. 232 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:13.759 Talk to us about that and why it's becomes so important, 233 00:13:13.879 --> 00:13:15.600 particularly for folks over fifty. 234 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:20.279 Well, because we both have lives. You know, chances are 235 00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:24.159 that when you meet after fifty, you both have a 236 00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:28.679 very established existence already. You know, you either have a house, 237 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:32.440 you have children, you have maybe you're still working, maybe 238 00:13:32.440 --> 00:13:36.720 you're not, but you're you're likely entrenched somewhere that you 239 00:13:36.759 --> 00:13:39.440 don't really want to leave. You know. The best example 240 00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:41.519 of that was the Golden Bachelor thing. I mean, I 241 00:13:41.559 --> 00:13:45.799 won't get off on that tangent, but that was the 242 00:13:45.879 --> 00:13:49.879 perfect demonstration that you really have to think about, Okay, 243 00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:53.600 if we're going to couple up, what does that mean 244 00:13:53.639 --> 00:13:56.840 to our daily to our daily living. And a lot 245 00:13:56.919 --> 00:14:00.480 of us have figured out that it's okay to have 246 00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:04.399 a committed long term relationship and not give up what 247 00:14:04.960 --> 00:14:09.240 you've already established. But you go back and forth whatever 248 00:14:09.320 --> 00:14:12.480 that means. And that might sound weird, but I have 249 00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:15.200 Paul and I actually did that for like ten years. 250 00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:18.480 You know. It wasn't like a conscious decision, it was 251 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:20.440 it just happened that way. We met, we lived an 252 00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:24.159 hour apart, and it just went on for ten years 253 00:14:24.200 --> 00:14:26.639 like that, And I think that that is what kept 254 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:30.039 us together actually, quite frankly, you know, we're fifteen years now, 255 00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:33.399 we've been living together. But it is a different adjustment. 256 00:14:34.039 --> 00:14:36.960 There is a lot that you know, there's a lot 257 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:40.320 of compromise, and you don't necessarily have to do that 258 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:43.600 from the start when there might be so many things 259 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:47.320 that you compromise about. So, yeah, LAT has become LAT 260 00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:53.440 has become almost not common terminology perhaps, but yeah, something 261 00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:59.240 that is very beneficial, especially to the older people like Ushska. 262 00:14:59.320 --> 00:15:01.440 Do you find that this is happening with couples that 263 00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:04.480 are already together and even married couples that they're finding 264 00:15:04.759 --> 00:15:08.840 way they're using LAT to make to strengthen the relationship 265 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:12.960 by creating a space for more personal freedom and just 266 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:15.679 realizing that, hey, we're mature, we're together, but we don't 267 00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:18.200 have to be physically together all the time. I mean, 268 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:20.720 I'm personally old school. I didn't get married until I 269 00:15:20.759 --> 00:15:23.080 was in my early fifties. But then when I got married, 270 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:25.000 I want to sleep in the same bed as my wife. 271 00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:26.919 I don't get a king bed. Then you don't have 272 00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:29.840 to be hear me all the time. But I know 273 00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:32.240 a lot of people they have separate bedrooms, separate beds 274 00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:34.559 and all that stuff. And then you know, the more 275 00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:37.960 you separate, it becomes your You know, there's a lot 276 00:15:37.960 --> 00:15:42.759 of separation and maybe the separation over arches the togetherness. 277 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:44.679 So it's a slippery slope there. 278 00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:48.879 Yeah, it is a slippery slope. And here's where, yes, 279 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:53.759 there's a big distinction in my opinion, going into it 280 00:15:53.879 --> 00:15:55.759 like like Paul and I did you know, we met 281 00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:58.759 and you know, we started spending more time together, but 282 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:01.480 it was commuting to each other. There's places and then 283 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:05.000 you know, I mean, it's going that way if you're 284 00:16:05.039 --> 00:16:10.720 married or you're already established a relationship together. I think, 285 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:12.919 and I've heard this, this comes up a lot in 286 00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:18.120 lat discussions. That's a tough one to manage because there 287 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:21.080 is something wrong at that point. In my opinion, you 288 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:26.279 are dealing with rescuing perhaps a relationship instead of just saying, 289 00:16:26.279 --> 00:16:30.559 you know what, we're just sick of each other. And 290 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:34.399 maybe it can, but I think one person's going to 291 00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:36.879 want it more than the other. And I think that 292 00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:41.639 is indicative of you know something more. You're dealing with 293 00:16:41.639 --> 00:16:45.440 with something that's wrong, not creating something that's right for 294 00:16:45.559 --> 00:16:46.080 both of you. 295 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:49.000 In my opinion, how about this whole notion. And I 296 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:51.120 don't know if it's an over fifty crowd thing, but 297 00:16:51.559 --> 00:16:54.120 this whole lot you get this whole pass. I mean, 298 00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:56.519 I think it's a younger thing where yeah, you can 299 00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.639 go if you meet somebody very special, you can you 300 00:16:59.639 --> 00:17:02.440 can have a sexual relationship with them. Maybe it's just 301 00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:05.559 a one time or thing. But that's okay. But I 302 00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:07.559 don't know, I don't think that's going to help. I 303 00:17:07.559 --> 00:17:09.759 don't see how that helps the relationship if I know, 304 00:17:10.119 --> 00:17:13.480 like my wife's out there getting it from somebody else, like, yeah, 305 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:16.480 I feel so much better about our relationship. Now I don't. 306 00:17:16.519 --> 00:17:17.319 I don't see. 307 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:22.039 No that. I think that's that's BS all the way around, 308 00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:24.920 including for the younger crowd. Now I get it. There's 309 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:28.279 you know, people have there's all kinds of alternative relationships, 310 00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:31.240 and it works for some people. Absolutely. You know, I'm 311 00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:34.079 not speaking for everybody here by by any means, but 312 00:17:34.119 --> 00:17:39.720 I do believe I'm speaking for the majority because it's 313 00:17:39.799 --> 00:17:42.160 just it's just, you know, if you're together, if you're 314 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:43.880 supposed to be together, you love each other, you're in 315 00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:49.079 a committed relationship. That sort of play it just causes 316 00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:51.720 concern and cause, I mean, it does no, it doesn't. 317 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:54.359 It does not help, and it is in my opinion, 318 00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:59.000 it's it's total BS. Now I have to say something else. 319 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.359 I don't know if you want to go or not. 320 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:03.200 It's actually a segment that I'm thinking about doing. I 321 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:07.359 think it's important that will be very controversial is if 322 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:12.000 you are if your husband, your spouse, your significant other 323 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:17.200 is becoming it like impaired, like with Alzheimer's or you know, 324 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.400 to where the mind just isn't there and you're married, 325 00:18:20.920 --> 00:18:25.519 is it okay? Two? You know, to establish a new 326 00:18:25.559 --> 00:18:29.000 relationship just to save your own sanity. And there's there's 327 00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:33.440 a lot of discussion about that that is super super interesting, 328 00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:36.079 and I think I want to explore that at some point. 329 00:18:36.119 --> 00:18:38.480 So that's where But that's typically you know, for this 330 00:18:38.599 --> 00:18:42.039 is really an older person's discussion, and that doesn't apply 331 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:43.000 to the undercrowd. 332 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:45.960 It could it could be you know, flipped around also 333 00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:49.079 like oh my my wife became paralyzed or something. Can 334 00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:51.000 I go have sex with somebody else and I'll still 335 00:18:51.039 --> 00:18:53.359 take care of her? Right? So it can work both ways. 336 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:57.160 Oh no, it can absolutely work with male and female 337 00:18:57.319 --> 00:18:59.880 and with with the paralyzing. And that's I know, this 338 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:03.519 is why work gets so controversial because to me, it's 339 00:19:04.119 --> 00:19:06.519 if the mind isn't there, then you don't have that 340 00:19:06.599 --> 00:19:10.599 person anymore, you know, physical disability where you know, we're 341 00:19:10.599 --> 00:19:13.920 getting off on another subject, but I may want to, 342 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:17.960 but it's interesting, it's super super interesting, Okay. 343 00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:21.400 Let's switch gears again and go to like Guys Guys Radio. 344 00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:24.440 Let's talk about the new masculinity meets the new feminine. 345 00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:27.960 How men and women over fifty are redefining relationships. So 346 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:31.920 why do you think, why are many traditional dating expectations 347 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:34.559 they don't fit anymore when you're over fifty. And what 348 00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:39.359 modern women really appreciate about guys now versus in the 349 00:19:39.400 --> 00:19:42.359 past where there was certain expectations. You know, how our 350 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:45.799 culture gives us narratives and over time those narratives change. 351 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.240 What's your sense from what you hear in terms of 352 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:54.200 is there a new masculinity with women being self sufficient? 353 00:19:54.319 --> 00:19:54.599 Now? 354 00:19:54.920 --> 00:19:57.480 They can take care, they can sustain, they can take 355 00:19:57.480 --> 00:20:00.480 care of themselves, they don't necessarily have to rely on 356 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:03.920 the guy. There's so many more women in management positions. 357 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:06.759 I mean, women are getting long overdue recognition, but it's 358 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:08.720 just starting. It's going to be more and more. And 359 00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:10.880 guys are going to school. The younger guys are going 360 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:13.839 to school college in all less than the women. How 361 00:20:13.880 --> 00:20:16.759 does that affect the over fifty crowd or they are 362 00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:21.039 the male and female roles being redefined the same way 363 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:23.480 they kind of are for the younger crowd. 364 00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.279 Yeah, yes, yes and no. Here here's what I find 365 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:31.319 interesting in what I've gathered from conversations not just with 366 00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:34.599 people our age, but yes, the experts on the show, 367 00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:39.079 one of which being John Gray, who is highly has 368 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:41.799 become highly controversial because you know, men of from was 369 00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:45.519 women are from venus. The fact is that, yes, women 370 00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:49.559 have needed the have earned. As you say, the recognitions 371 00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:52.559 was a long time in coming. Yes. What it's also 372 00:20:52.799 --> 00:20:57.839 done is really put stress on relationships and you know, 373 00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:02.200 with what maturel you bring to the relationship. Like like 374 00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:04.960 from my personal opinion, of course, men and women are different. 375 00:21:05.599 --> 00:21:08.079 We're feminine, you know, we have a vagina and men 376 00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:12.519 are masculine, they have a I mean, we're different, and 377 00:21:12.599 --> 00:21:17.160 the hormones associated with that affect each other differently. One 378 00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:21.079 isn't better than the other, but there are certain roles 379 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:24.200 that still compliment each other in the you know, in 380 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:28.160 a heterosexual relationship. And that's I think where the where 381 00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:31.960 the issue start is how what kind of maturity do 382 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:33.880 you bring you know to that is it oh no 383 00:21:33.960 --> 00:21:35.839 women or not? How can you say that you know 384 00:21:35.880 --> 00:21:38.960 women are different men blah blah blah. See that's that's 385 00:21:39.079 --> 00:21:42.799 the power play it's acknowledging really what we bring to 386 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:47.400 each other. And having said that, I think women though, 387 00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:50.559 what I found, like women like myself and a lot 388 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:55.079 of my colleagues and peers, we want a confident man. 389 00:21:56.039 --> 00:21:59.200 We want a man who is you know, who's in charge. 390 00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:02.160 I mean, that's part of being a woman. That doesn't 391 00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:07.200 mean it's overpowering or controlling, but yeah, we want a 392 00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:10.440 strong man, most of us. Again, I'm not talking for everyone. 393 00:22:10.839 --> 00:22:14.279 So when you say that, you mean confident, not arrogant, 394 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:19.039 and that marge meaning capable, not really like domineering, right. 395 00:22:20.519 --> 00:22:21.599 Exactly Exactly. 396 00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:24.440 You don't want somebody like making all the decisions for you, 397 00:22:24.519 --> 00:22:26.400 but you want to know that, hey, I can rely 398 00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:28.480 this guy can take care of your stuff. 399 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:28.920 Right. 400 00:22:29.799 --> 00:22:30.880 There's a fine line. 401 00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:33.720