Speaker 1: Conny Gallo roud dirty come he didgain? Join the quest
is uncharted?
Speaker 2: Join the icy Baster.
Speaker 3: Six writers face off by a roll of the dice
till five dirty, leaving nothing behind but fingerprits and a
tall tale, stealing carts, breaking parts with plenty.
Speaker 1: Of time to kill and Icybasts tis always.
Speaker 4: Icing and know the campy tasty fasts. Come on and
joy it Diicing Baster.
Speaker 5: Hey, there are Indians, Junior Ventures and friends. Welcome to
the next episode of Authors and Dragons presents The Dicey
Bassar Season two, a D and D video podcast where
great authors play bad D and D. I'm Mk Gibson,
author of such books as Villain's Rule to Beat the
Devil in Today's Dungeon Master.
Speaker 4: Who do I have with me?
Speaker 5: Let's start with Robert Bevins, Sir.
Speaker 4: How are you great? Hello? Friends?
Speaker 6: My name is Robert Bevin And if you're hearing this,
I'm dead, No, not really solid. But I play the
role of Jorcer the Sorcerer.
Speaker 4: I didn't do it right.
Speaker 6: Jorser the Sorcerer, the Sorcerer with the Mucerer, and I
write the Caverns and Creatures series of comedy fantasy novels
and short stories, starting with the first book, Critical Failures.
Go read them all.
Speaker 5: Oh fantastic, sir, Thank you very much, mister Walterierry. How
are you today, sir?
Speaker 7: I'm doing pretty tone good. Everyone mon him is Rick Quilteririon.
If you're listening to this, then Bob is dead because well,
I only have room for so many personnality. He's my
in my head in real life. When I'm not masturbating
is him? I play moog Faceater. Wait now, in the game,
I play moog face Theater. In real life I write
a bunch of books.
Speaker 5: You're masturbating us him, That's what I thought I heard.
Speaker 8: So would you always hear? M?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 7: I mean, I mean, why why would you masturbate its
yourself when you masturbate to somebody else intriguing?
Speaker 4: Am I the one you're masturbating to? No, I'm.
Speaker 5: Masturbates so well, that got derailed real fast, Drew.
Speaker 4: Hey, how are you, sir?
Speaker 8: I am good? I am good? And in regular life
I write books such as n PC's Fred the Vampire
Count which just had its final uh entry release as
of Halloween, and the audiobook will be coming out in
January and in the game I play. It's a horse,
it's a man. It's combetter. The expedient a centaur who
barely wants to be there.
Speaker 5: Speaking of barely wants to be there, Emily Kaplan, how
are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm Emily Kaplan. I play Claudia. I write
books that are E. M. Kaplan, including a new one
called Larceny and Lies. Hold on, sorry, I had a spit.
I had a cough drop Larceny and Wise, which didn't work.
Which Rachel just read Rachel Carr And apparently it has
more holes than a politicians full of brain full of syphilis.
So I gotta do some rewrites, But no problem, it's
gonna come out soon.
Speaker 7: And you missed the great up like it has more
holes than Bob after Rick stuntmaster biddings.
Speaker 4: What how many holes does a sympoltic brain have.
Speaker 8: A few at least one more enough?
Speaker 6: I thought you were gonna say a politician has just
been shot eight times.
Speaker 9: There are eight holes exactly, Well there's eight holes plus
his mouth hole, butt hole, ear holes, fourteen holes, all
the holes and hold.
Speaker 8: Yes, but.
Speaker 2: Well, whatever skullfuckers.
Speaker 5: Did robot? What happened? Skull dicking around I was trying
to do a segue into holdieres of holes. It's Steve
Brotherill Stern, sir, how are you?
Speaker 4: I'm doing okay, give you I have a normal amount
of holes and I play stand Andy Liver is possibly
about to die in real life. I write books such
as the Brandon Fimaster series of books, which are hilarious.
You want another one of those to happen, well, you
are responsible for it. It's kickstarting now, so go there
to get early access and possibly be named as a
character in the book. But there's only like a couple
of those left, so be quick. So it's on kickstart,
do it now now.
Speaker 2: I whyn't you to know that I donated to the
kickstarter because it's way easier to do that than to
co author with you.
Speaker 4: Finally, so like everyone, then I'll be a man the game.
Speaker 5: I want to take a moment to remind everyone that
if you're not already part of the A D fan,
then you are missing out. Head over to patreon dot
com slash Authors and Dragons, check out the various tears
and the perks. For two bucks a month to join
our discord and hang out five bucks a month, get
your Discord channels, plus the ability to be here while
we record live, just like some of our fans are
doing right now. Or head over to Authors and Dragons
dot Dashery dot com for some of our cool merchandise,
get some T shirts, pick up something, buy some cool swag,
and show you showed off to all your friends and
maybe a few of your enemies. All right, with all
the shilling out of the way, is everybody ready to
get into the game.
Speaker 8: All feels like a big promise? I said, all shilling
feels like a big promise.
Speaker 5: All right, One more thing?
Speaker 4: What if you join the Discord of a nice cut
for the months you can help me play test the
new Orphans and Dragons card game matter but having brawl
it's pretty fun. So we'll be doing some play tests
over the next coming month.
Speaker 6: We have the first playing test yesterday and it was
a lot of fun.
Speaker 5: I wanted to see the four but unfortunately I had
to go to the movies with a friend of mine,
so I'm sad I missed out.
Speaker 4: So that's the great thing, Gibbie with doing more of them, hooray.
Speaker 5: But I want to be here right now for the
second half of this epic battle so without further ado,
greetings all, this is conyede Stand's conscience.
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 5: When last, without the Dicey Bassards, they had a decision
to make fight the good fight, to beat up some
enemies or just you know, drinks of all they're breathing potions,
blow up the ship and jump overboard. Decisions, decisions, But
the team finally came to see to do what was right,
they had to do what we knew was wrong, give
into moves racism, so they opted to margin to the
top deck ship and kill an oak child. Upon the
Dicey Bassars found their quarry, Eric green Tree, and a
pleasant surprise. Each member of the total totally innocent party
was precariously pushed along the ship's railing while bondage bound
and bent courtesy of a demon named super Friendly Bendy. Wendy,
not wanting to waste any time, Moove attacked, only for
Eric to shield himself while also revealing that his patron,
a Cambian demon from the Nine Helps, was there watching
and feeding him power. But thanks for a quick insight
roll by Stan, we learned that Eric and his demon
are full of bravado, as they need the souls on
the grand whimsy while Claudia assault to make children her
preferred enemy. George for assault to discover what a two
hitted dildo does when hit somebody over the head. Did
have healing properties? No, he struck, He struck a stun
Claudia to learn, No, it just has hurting properties. And
around on this cruise misfits on peree. Cobert quickly grabbed
an explosive from the stun. Claudia armed it and threw
with all his might. Sadly, Corbert was an indoor child,
I never played capt with his parents. Rolling on Athletic three,
the bomb landed, his feet blew up, leading fire the
deck and knocking everybody this way and that. But this
Eric clearly does not want this ship to sink. As
the battle raged on, more and more the totally innocent
party went overboard thanks to move for he quickly realized
that each member of the team gone Eric lost a
little bit of power and it was fun for a
move to watch them drown. Riddled with an arrows, taunted
it and his pants around his ankles. Thanks to Georcer,
Eric threatens a tall stand overboard lett the dicey Bassard
stand down. They all laughed in this child's face, bent
and twisted, stand used his vicious mockery. It hurt Eric's
feelings and that's where he pick up.
Speaker 8: I did legitimately forget about him trying to do the
taking one of us hostage move. He was so much
fun to way to misread the room kid, right.
Speaker 7: And I'm pretty sure Moogli you know, realized no such
thing abou about that. He was just trying to drown
the totally innocent party, oh.
Speaker 5: One thousand percent, you know, like I really I listened
back to it today and it was like Moog's like, oh,
that's nice, but He's like, I have all these actions.
It was like, dude, do just push him overboard? And
each time Eric's like or around him got a little weaker.
So when we last left off, Eric had just gone
and it is the top of the order, so it
is Moog's turn. Moog, you are standing in the northeast
section of the map. Looks like Hugh Jackman justin time,
and Grassy Know and Page Turner all all in the
watch and the only one left is Matt Demon. He's
on the opposite side of the ship from you. He's
on the port side in between and there's a big
demon female between the two of you to your southwest
stand is there? He looks like he's being held captain
by mister Eric green Tree.
Speaker 7: Okay, well let's see here there's that demon. Uh, I
don't really care care about the captain up here? Oh
wait is he? Is he hanging overboard the captain?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: But yeah, because remember we have poor Julie. They're trying
to steer the ship and Keber's lends a hand. He's
helping out somewhat. So the ship is currently stable, but
the captain is that he's kind of being he's bound
also over the edge of the ship.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, well just send him over.
Speaker 5: Super easy. You cuta's ropes and the captain, captain what
I name him, Randoll Vaughan munch Rugger, goes overboard, spoosh
into the into the drink.
Speaker 7: Yeah all right, gotta look, gotta love a mutiny.
Speaker 8: That's what you get for, depending on us.
Speaker 4: Yeah, take that background character or wrung is in no way.
Speaker 5: Julie screams at you, what are you doing?
Speaker 8: What do you why?
Speaker 5: Why are you idiots?
Speaker 8: Feels like she answered her own question there, yep, all right, Well.
Speaker 5: So it doesn't take much to cut the rope. So
that's basically you're moving your bonus action. There's you still
have an action left. You like to do something in
their mog.
Speaker 7: Ah, well I still had two movements, so I'll get
I'll start heading this way because there's still more people
to drown.
Speaker 5: All right, Well, I mean, yeah, that's true. That is
very much from me. You can always do like an
Elder's blast to hit Matt Demon's ropes and knock him
overboard to finish the finish all that that is a
good idea. I mean, I'm just helping, so he just blast.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't really like that.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna send a ray of frost that I'm in instead.
Speaker 5: All right, So you mean for Matt Demon's he is stunned.
Uh so he can't give he has no bonus, he's balanced. Yeah. Sure,
let's say you hit you freeze bat, his rope snaps,
he gives you this look like you son of a bitch,
and he goes overboard into the drink.
Speaker 4: Today is a good day.
Speaker 5: So all of the totally innocent party are currently bounds
because they were still tied up by Bendy Wendy, and
they were also under her spell of like her her
twisted spell, the stand is still currently he's in the
weirdest yoga pos ever, like his heads twisted the wrong way,
his legs up over himself, and he can probably lick
his own but if he tried hard enough, thanks to
this weird demon magic. So all it looks like are
uh yeah, your your rivals are drowning slowly, so good job.
Speaker 7: If they were truly our rivals, they wouldn't have been
in this situation, the.
Speaker 4: Situation where you're drowning them exactly. They would have drowned
us already.
Speaker 8: At no point that they ever cat all right whatever,
like I love us in the theater. Let's let's not
do a full run back.
Speaker 5: Well, and they still are tickets up front now again,
Eric green Tree, still your tickets.
Speaker 4: There are arrivals. They'd be breathing oxygen right now.
Speaker 5: They shot at Claudia because Claudia wearing the skin of
the guy's dead father, of Justin Ty's father.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, they're not over that yet.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, that's that's just sour grapes.
Speaker 2: It's not even on my face anymore.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I fell off a long time ago. You know,
your turn is now over Stan.
Speaker 4: You're decomposed your baby. Well, that's not a law. I
can tell you.
Speaker 5: We discussed last time. You can any spell that's just vocals,
like you stunned him last time. You use a vicious
mockery on Eric green Tree and it works. You give
him some psychic damage. Any spells you cast that are
just by voice, you're fine. At the end of the turn,
you get an option to like beat a DC thirteen
constitution sating throw and free yourself from your yoga stunning.
Speaker 4: Well, the only spell I've got ovid and vicious mockery
that might actually do something is sleep, and I don't
think that will do anything because he is an elf.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Drew tried that last game.
Speaker 8: Yep, I mean that fuck up last game.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, let's just pretend I didn't do it, because
I'm smart and remember about elves and not that Drew
did it five minutes ago. I've got this guy self.
I guess I could make it look like I'm not
hideously pretzeled at the moment.
Speaker 5: Give me a quick give me a quick intelligence role stand.
Speaker 4: Intelligence. Here we go, Bloop fifteen seventeen with.
Speaker 5: A modified fantastic You realize that you can't inspire yourself
because you know you have to break free of this thing.
So if you inspire yourself, you have a better shit
out of breaking free.
Speaker 4: Bardic inspiration, of course, the power of positive thinking. Mm hmmm,
uh okay, well I can do that as a bonus, sir.
Speaker 5: You think back on that manifesto you wrote to kill Also,
I think we forgot you have a little monster under
your hat. You have that that little mimic looking thing.
Speaker 4: That eats books, the tiny little fork goblin. Uh huh yeah,
but I'm I'm healing that.
Speaker 6: Because his little monster is under his hat. That is,
he is twisted up.
Speaker 4: Okay, well, minor Allegian is not gonna help me, so
I will just yell, I'll past a partic inspiration.
Speaker 5: How do you inspire yourself?
Speaker 4: What do you do? I'll just say, come on, Staniel,
you can mend your spine through the power of positivity.
Speaker 5: Inside your mind. You hear at Connie, He's like Staniel,
I believe in you. You've always had disability, and I
shut up you. I'm trying to help you.
Speaker 4: The good news is that thing is to be in
damage because I can't fail anything.
Speaker 5: So that's that's good, all right, So you give yourself
a you have a bartic inspiration. I think you have
a D six at this at glebl five, I think
you guys are at so.
Speaker 4: Yeah, somewhere where's my actions.
Speaker 5: I don't think it's a D eight yet, but inspiration, yep.
Speaker 8: A lot of things evolve at fifth level.
Speaker 4: It's a creature of ovident myself. Right now.
Speaker 5: This is just I've allowed you to do in the past,
so I can't undo me. You know I'm good, but
I'm not that good, so I've allowed. I've seen those
people do in the past. It's I allowed.
Speaker 4: It feels a bit masturbatory.
Speaker 8: You're inspiring Connie. Who's inspiring you?
Speaker 4: There?
Speaker 8: It is?
Speaker 5: What about that mant just you know, believe me.
Speaker 8: That believes in you. There's one for our girden logging fans.
Speaker 5: What he just said? Kill him later, but you know
in the meantime you'll side.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, here comes the D six. All right, plam, So.
Speaker 5: You get a plus four to whatever you roll to
break free. So give me a D twenty. We're gonna
add four to it and see if you can beat
a thirteen to free yourself from super friendly Bendy Wendy's
contortion spell.
Speaker 4: You just want a D twenty. Yep, you don't.
Speaker 5: Constitution saving throw. I don't know what you have as
a modifier.
Speaker 4: So uh not much minus one in fact?
Speaker 5: All right, well you have a minus one, but it's
a plus zero. Yes, well, because remember you got into
certain rooms, I've changed your abilities around.
Speaker 4: So yeah, but I wasn't keeping track yet.
Speaker 8: For those following the meta narrative, you might want to
scribble down a quick note that this was a soft
confirmation that Connie is in fact a different entsity than stand.
Speaker 4: For those of the Connie conspiracy farius out there that's ready.
Speaker 5: Truly truly think Cober is the throw them off a board.
Speaker 4: Okay, D twenty, here we go.
Speaker 8: Yep.
Speaker 4: I was in a library, right, that was less constitution,
more intelligence something.
Speaker 5: You were also somewhere else. Have raised your constitution?
Speaker 4: I think in the lower is that the fuck palace?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, like I have it written down here,
hang on, plus constitutions. The yoga studio raised your constitution.
You didn't go now, oh the bar, the slash the
restaurant raised your constitution. Milowers your dexterity.
Speaker 4: I was in that for a bit. Yep, all right, coole,
we'll say a normal normal constitution real then why not?
Speaker 5: But fifteen plus four nine Staniel, you like like a
like like like, just like old man, cratch it up
out of the bed, legs streets for the first time,
crack everything away.
Speaker 4: Going to the chocolate factory.
Speaker 5: You kick the other three deadbeat parents in that bed
in the face because they have been lazy.
Speaker 4: Well done, No more disability come for me.
Speaker 5: You stand up next to there's a three year old,
thirty year old looking child who is technically over forty,
but I remember you stand there with his pants around
his ankle, standing in front of you, who threaten to
throw you overboard. You are standing there next to him.
Speaker 4: I don't think anybody would feel too bad if I
stabbed his child, this pantiless child on your.
Speaker 5: Next action, because you're now out of turns.
Speaker 8: I mean, basically, the entire catalog of this game proves
that yes, no, no one would care that.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: Was that my entire action then? Was myself? Yeah?
Speaker 8: You had to.
Speaker 5: You did your bonus because you'd have another. Did you
have an action left to do?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 5: Because you to free yourself as at the end of
the turn of the spell.
Speaker 4: So yeah, and I had to stand up as well.
I guess, yeah, that's that's good.
Speaker 5: It looked that that was a very righteous stand up.
Speaker 4: So get you got to snap everything back into place.
And that old spiders he's like cups of his prime
but just made of old man.
Speaker 8: But you know, not not the optubscribe from the movie,
right n obviously not going to traumatize a generation of children.
Speaker 4: That would be too much.
Speaker 5: Speaking of traumatizing, killed your children, Claudia, it is your turn.
Speaker 2: I have lost track of the bombs that I was holding.
Speaker 5: I started with a right so you had one under
your arm. You had and summing your bag and one
of them, I forgot what happened to them. Took one
from your bag and hucked. That's why there's a big
ring of fire in front of you.
Speaker 8: Okay, you're welcome.
Speaker 5: And you have but here the thing you stuck because
you tucked. You had one bomb in your hand. You
came on deck, but you tucked under your arm to
shoot arrows at eric Green Tree, and the rest of
your bombs were in your sack. So you have stilled
one under your arm and Drew took one out of
your pack. So there are four you had six, one there,
one gone? So did the math? H.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what I want to do, what you
really want to do? I want to dash through the
ring of fire by all means at Wendy, Okay, go
for it, all right.
Speaker 8: The burning ring of fire?
Speaker 4: Yeap?
Speaker 8: I mean give me through out a spice girl's song joke.
I had to follow in with.
Speaker 2: Johnny counteraccent a little, you know, yeah, by all means so, uh,
unless we got to get a beautiful, beautiful mash up.
Speaker 5: Now, I give me you're dashing, but like, give me
give me an acrobatics role. I just want to see
how cool it looks like you go through the ring
of fire. Ooky, this is just flavor text for me. Fourteen.
You're not exactly a prized pink and ees, but you
do pretty good. You know, you tumble through it, spring
hit the roll stand back up in easter and you're
running through. So you're dashing through the ring of fire
act for super friendly Bendy.
Speaker 2: Wendy, And did any of the bombs go off? Uh?
Speaker 5: Did you strove the one under your arm?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, then I would like that with that acrobatics roll,
do me a favor. Let's see pop up up. I'm
gonna do a D twenty and see. Let's just see
what happens, because let's see if you uh cracked it
because they kind of work like a glowstick. Nope, you're good,
dang okay, because I know it's low. If you had
above a certain number like that's that's bad. So you're good.
Speaker 2: Am I on fire because I'm not on.
Speaker 5: Fire because you did not flub the role it you know?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 5: All right, so you still have a bomb under the arm,
dive through the ring of fire, and you're running a
super So how far is yoused to win? Five, ten, fifteen,
twenty twenty five. You're at least twenty five feet away,
so you still have five more feet of movement for
your dash, all right, which is thirty. Now you still
have your movement and your action.
Speaker 2: I would like to chuck the bomb that I have
at Wendy.
Speaker 5: Okay, uh you pull it out free action, crack it,
and now we're going to use your give me an
athletics roll to throw it as super friendly Bendy Wendy
twenty four, Oh my god, okay, uh you right, okay,
you see how she's bent.
Speaker 2: Over at you right in the butt pike bomb right there.
Speaker 5: Because there's one like his member. She has a nice
bleeding wound from the butt sheet from where Stan stabbed
her earlier. So, uh, you hit her where the Good
Lord split her.
Speaker 8: This is exactly how she always knew it was gonna
go down.
Speaker 4: There's some trouma level shit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the demon from Hell from the nine Hell. She
sees this fiery explosion coming out her. She kind of smiles. Uh,
the explosion goes off. Let's see here, there's how much
damage does it do?
Speaker 8: I always knew this is how I was gonna die,
follow into my death dressed as Abe Lincoln. It's around
the file whole messa diildo how I wrote it down.
Speaker 4: Instead of just exploding, she just skins around real rocord
or like a Catherine wi.
Speaker 5: All right, so she's resistant to fire. She's gonna take
half damage on that, but she's gonna take some damage,
you know.
Speaker 8: So Okay, there's explosive force in there too, right.
Speaker 5: Oh no, No, that's the thing is the other side
of move. It's how well that explosive force actually hits.
And now I wanted to give her a quick constitution
saving throw.
Speaker 8: She accounts for like the other half of the damage
that she's not immune too.
Speaker 5: Well, it's the force of that's hitting her as she's
being rocketed back. Because now you have something that's to move,
she failed it miserably. So that's a lot of way
come and get moved, very fast moved. I'm gonna need
you to give me a constitution saving throw.
Speaker 8: It's the move gonna get rocketed into the water with
all the people who tried to drive.
Speaker 7: Basically, yeah, I was gonna say, any chance of me
grabbing on and bringing her with.
Speaker 5: Me, well that's what the Constitution said. Okay, she's coming
at you now. If you want an athletics roll to
take her, to go over the board with her, give
me that. If you want to use a constitution saving
throw it to like just man up and take the
hit and not get pushed back, give me that.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I like the idea of taking her with me.
Speaker 5: I can give me an athletic saving throw.
Speaker 8: It is true to Moog.
Speaker 4: If anybody needs a tattoo idea Moog surfing a demon
woman with a rock app or assis definitely up there.
Speaker 5: Oh dude, that's the side of a Van, I need
that nineteen Okay, so she runs, okay, for the sake
of the flavor. There's a demon, the ten foot demon,
who now is a bomb, shooting from her asshole, writing,
flaming at you. It's everything you've ever wanted. Wings flapping,
You hit her, she slaps into you. She's bigger than you.
Grab ons and whatever you want to grab onto. Silver
surfer her over the edge, and the two of you
are now together up over You fall approximately fifteen feet
into this to the water below blue and you're hanging
on super friendly Bendy. Wendy. She doesn't swim very well
because she's not from this plane. And uh yeah, So
you're now being pulled underwater with a very large woman
who's not he's immune to fire, so the damage in
due to her very best. So you're now in grapple
range with a big demon. That's that's that's your predicament.
Speaker 4: Quite the predicament.
Speaker 5: Now, did you drink a water? I know Stan drank
a water breathing potion earlier. I don't be passed any outs.
I know staying as Lisa currently can breathe water.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure Mood cannot. But I did pass mug
always knew he would go out. I can't remember who
I passed him out too. I think it might have
been clothed here in Kambert because here's the thing. He's
in the water, the captain's in the water. Most of
the totally innocent party is in the water.
Speaker 7: But none of those pussies are are like you have
like a demon in a headlock as they're going down.
Speaker 5: Most of them are still bound in chains and irons
that are being full dumb.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly the pussies.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it various. Moove's right, his entrance is way more
fucking metal, but it is very much more metal.
Speaker 7: Somebody put the ship on an album cover.
Speaker 5: Okay, ain'tal bum cover?
Speaker 8: Al right?
Speaker 5: Next up? Okay, that was Claudia's turn, super Friendy Bendy
Wendy's turn. Uh, she is going to she's gonna try
to disengage from moves. So she's gonna try to Are
you grappling her, sir?
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, that was the whole point.
Speaker 5: You got an athletics roll of nineteen. Let's see what
she's got. She has a plus three to her strength.
Just do her size, give her athletics roll. How does
she do six, you've she cannot break free from.
Speaker 8: You, moucas some real you're trapped in here with me?
Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, if if Moo, if Moo could breathe, he'd
probably say something about like you're coming with me, elf lover,
But instead it just comes out.
Speaker 8: Of the.
Speaker 4: Moog is not drowning and ocean. Ocean is drowning and
moove like.
Speaker 5: Okay, if you if you do try to speak and
lose one of your oxygen because we have the drowning rules.
So you're gonna are you gonna speak? It's not my turn,
so no, fair enough, all right, but it is Wendy's turn.
She so that was her action to do the bonus
actually is gonna lean and try to kiss you. She's
gonna she's reaching out you. You're holding her. She holds back,
she leans into kiss uh and so she's next round.
She's gonna try to suck the air out of your lungs.
That Jorceerr you're up.
Speaker 6: But all right, Well, if I don't club a child
to death with the dildo, we're gonna lose listeners.
Speaker 5: So that is true.
Speaker 8: That is true for the content.
Speaker 6: All right, So I'm gonna whip out my uh, womp
and dildo and and club a child on the head
just for me?
Speaker 5: Have you given it? Have you given I assume this
is a two handed swamp? And have you given it
a name by any chance? Because every great weapon us
a name, so not Yeah, and I'll work on that.
Speaker 4: Noboris, I mean child slayer if he succeeds. Oh, come on, guys,
our Noboris was pretty funny. That's pretty clever, because you
see it's a double ended dil day and it could
be like if I don't know, maybe I'm stretching. I was.
Speaker 6: I was hoping, like, is it a Darth maul double
did a set of balls on the end and that's
I was holding the other end and clubbing people with
the balls in my head?
Speaker 5: Have you had like a two handed great sword? And
like the cross guard or the nuts?
Speaker 2: Chat says, tally ho whacker, tally high whacker like that one.
Speaker 4: All right, we'll give this one to Chat fair enough, Cat.
Speaker 6: I don't exclusively whack hose.
Speaker 8: Tally Yeah. You also, that's right in there.
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 6: What am I press into attack here?
Speaker 8: Uh?
Speaker 5: For the sake of the thing, give yourself a c
if you haven't done it before, to give yourself a
club or you just gonna call it bad. It's a
it's a great club. You're essentially swinging.
Speaker 4: Where's great club?
Speaker 5: I know if you if you have not added one,
you have to add one in your inventory. But for
the meantime, let's just say it is because I figured
it's like, basically, it's a if you hit it, it's
a dtemp you hit, So give me a D twenty
roll plus plus your strength modifier.
Speaker 6: All right, I have no strength modifier, So just a
D twenty.
Speaker 8: Because I'm almost positive wizards you're not proficient in dildough.
Speaker 5: Good thing is a sorcerer, you know.
Speaker 8: I said that, and it immediately felt.
Speaker 5: Uh you swing okay, Well you didn't do damage. You
swung over. You forgot how short he is. I mean,
you've got a good swing on a good lined up
how unfortunately you forgot you didn't aim it up properly,
so it swing over and like hits, staying on the chest. Well, boom,
stand is no damage because it's George were swinging right now.
He's a very dilly yf her body. But he did
just wamp you with the end of the tally ho whacker.
Speaker 4: There is no time for this.
Speaker 8: Oh sorry, I wait to know if he's tried to
help or not.
Speaker 4: I was trying to heal stead give me the chest
with a dilda medically that might work.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Okay, all right, what we got here? Next up is Cobert?
Speaker 8: Sorry, okay, refresh me for trying to help with the steering.
What kind of check was that?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 5: The first check was to see what you did a
investigation to see if you could just figure out how
the stee wheel.
Speaker 8: Kind of works.
Speaker 5: You were att fifteen, which was you know, viverge, so
you kind of got the idea of like, okay, let's
just kind of like hold it steady because Julie's clearly panicking,
so she was doing anything. But so you you really
hold it steady and that, but you're only going one direction.
You really haven't figured out how the wheel system works.
Speaker 8: Gotsha. I couldn't remember if there was strength involved or not.
Speaker 5: Not yet, but it could it be. You know, the
two of you together are holding a giant wheel, so
oh right, and the bug bears are very large and
they have very long arms for a reason.
Speaker 8: Well, then I am going to use my last wild
shape to get into a form with better strength and
deposable thumbs. Oh you know it's tape.
Speaker 4: Got it? Oh you tended to one animal to watch
a junk?
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, because they're two dens, right, yes, yeah, all right, that's.
Speaker 5: A durable Yeah yeah, get trolled by and he said,
where did Drew? God? Now this is a bigger You're
only you gotta go bigger because like you need something
large enough to behold of this wheels And because bug
bears have really long arms, oh right, basically hang out
of there. That's why the wheel. So that's why like
they yeah, their arms are like if they're like nine
feet tall, their arms almost touch their ankles.
Speaker 8: So in that case, giant ape noises, you.
Speaker 5: Stand behind Julie, who freaks the fuck runs over here?
Speaker 8: Ski daddles so.
Speaker 4: Perfectly understandable.
Speaker 5: All right, Drew, you have wild shape. You have moved.
Give me an action to see if you understand like,
so I would like now I would like a straight
up Oh what's the best role for this?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 5: You investigated before, but like I just want to straight
intelligence rule. Just see if you understand the mechanics of
of a just anything sea based.
Speaker 8: So the good news is I keep my intelligence in
eight form The bad news is it's still a ten.
All right. Uh, let's see, I got a five. Hang on, yeah, no,
that's that's right. Yeah, it's a five.
Speaker 5: All right, Drew, pick left or right.
Speaker 8: I'll go left.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 5: You you know what would be a great idea right now?
I think you after with a five check on this.
Spinning that wheel as hard to the left as possible.
It seems like the most the best idea in the world.
So you spin the wheel to the left.
Speaker 8: I have a question for you. Give me that sort
of thing that's an action, right, yes, thank god, because
I don't have an action left. I'm not Circle of
the Moon Druid wild shaping takes my action.
Speaker 4: Oh just as well, because you're about to handbreak turn
a boat bill.
Speaker 5: All right, next turn, you're gonna whip that thing hard
on your left.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Look, he's looking at that wheel like you know, with
all the all the that chip intelligence all right about
you guys around.
Speaker 5: Ifause you're gonna whip it into the left, which is
gonna turn the boat to the right, and everybody on
the right side of the ship and the like what yes,
it's gonna list, it's gonna turn and right now grassy
nol just in time when Hugh jackmar are still slowly
sinking under water. This will be fun, all right, yes up,
never thought I'd.
Speaker 8: Be glad to have a shitty wild shake.
Speaker 4: It went through its wild shape. They just ultimatically adopted
the intellect of the animal. They can just immediately forget
what they were doing.
Speaker 8: I mean, that's what I'm gonna be telling all of you.
Speaker 4: After this wild shape to a bad it just wanders
off and ship somewhere that was and didn't help anyone,
Not that you're helping anyone now.
Speaker 8: No, well, you know, try it. Maybe someone will do
something in the next.
Speaker 4: Three We'll see, we.
Speaker 8: Will see, alrighty.
Speaker 5: Next up is Eric green Tree and Eric, okay, what's
he gonna do?
Speaker 4: Pull his pants up?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so he is going to well, he's going to
Missy step away over Susie. He's going to Missy step
over to here, pull his pants up, and uh spend
his action beseeching his patron to come and give him aid.
And that's exactly what he's going to do. So he's like, Bogos,
please please come help me. I need Thanks. Are a
little lot of control, Okay, I know I've lost some
of your souls. Please complete please Vogatar, come help me.
So he is going to pray to his his uh
his patron. How well does he plead to his patron? Fifteen?
Oh that's actually with a oh this Christmas's really good?
All right, bo Gatar?
Speaker 4: Here's that?
Speaker 8: So?
Speaker 4: All right? All right?
Speaker 5: So his patron reappears. All right, that is the end
of his turn. Top of the order moved you are.
You've got super friendI Benu Weddy, big hot demon chick
trying to kiss you and suck the air out your lungs.
Speaker 7: Okay, well let's see here. I'm pretty sure I've already
used my my boots walking all over you. You did, Yeah,
all right, So I got a bag of holding and
bags holding hold a lot of things, and I'm willing
to bet oxygen is one of those. So I'm gonna
pull it out and cover and like you know, put
it up to my mouth and use it as a
breathing apparatus as I continue to hold this this demon
in a headlock.
Speaker 5: Well, she's got her face on you, and we never
described how you guys were holding each other because you
pulled her in. So uh hmm, let's see her she's
trying to put her face give me, okay, give me. Uh,
we're gonna do it contested athletics. Roll to see if
you can push her face away to suck on the
bag of holding.
Speaker 7: Well, actually, if she's if she's against my face, can
I just bite her?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Give me, give me a tackrole. That's an unarmed strike.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's that sounds like an even better thing to do.
I'm just gonna try to chew her fucking lips off.
Speaker 5: Bath salts move, yeah, go for it, just bite down hard.
I love this. This is an unarmed strike.
Speaker 8: I feel like there's not a lot twenty one between
bath salts moog and regular moog exactly.
Speaker 5: All right, uh moog you uh you bite this uh
basically succuments in the face.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna try to bite her in a way that
closes her lips while digging my teeth into them.
Speaker 4: Okay, stipele lip shut.
Speaker 5: Well, you might have actually okay, that okay, that's really good.
All right, I would like you to give me a
you're very okay, this is a weird one. You're so
strong you might bite through her lips and bite her
lips off.
Speaker 4: So just an explosion of botox.
Speaker 5: Roll if you go. If it's a high athletics role,
you're gonna bite through her lips. If it's a low
athletic roles, you're holding them shut.
Speaker 7: See that's okay if I bite her lips off, because
then she won't be able to form a seal, you know,
with her joker face.
Speaker 5: Right, But you just hold her lips shut, Okay, you
clamp down. She she let me say what can she do?
A guess it? Can she do any athletics? Back at you?
Speaker 4: A six?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 5: You know she rolled plus three nineteen, so yeah, you
beat her. Uh, she really can't fight back oddly enough,
because she's a succubist. You feel her squirm and she
wraps her legs around you to grind a little bit.
Speaker 4: See this is how the Titanic should have ended. She
is into it.
Speaker 5: I'll never let go. May you might have just like said, well,
all right, how you doing?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 8: Uh?
Speaker 7: I still got enough? I still got enough Oxygen't just
send a little bit of blood down there?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 5: The thing is like, yeah, you d and d rules
is like you're not drowning yet. You have one minute
plus a minute for every point of constitution modifier that
you have, so and it takes ten rounds for a
minute to go by, so you actually have a long
time before you even start drowning. So stay at in
a less horny situation, you're holding dorcers a womping dick
in your hands. What would you like to do?
Speaker 4: I'm imaginally less less horning.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: Well, I guess that's you know.
Speaker 4: Wait, I didn't give it to him?
Speaker 8: What?
Speaker 4: No, Yeah, I get that. Beat him in the chest
with it, all right? Would like to do? We'll go
over the final points of four play layer. I will
say to Claudia, Claudia, I can trust you to murder
a child, right, absolutely cool? Can I borrow your possion
of water breathing? Please?
Speaker 2: Yes, you can.
Speaker 4: Wonderful Now, I know we've got one druid who has
wasted his only shape change on being the least aquatic
animal there is.
Speaker 8: I mean, let's see there, my aquatic animal was a shark.
So not gonna be a lot of help saving people.
Speaker 4: You would have been solved a problem one way or another. Yes,
I'm going to go after the other druid. I'm gonna
dive in after your grassy.
Speaker 5: Knoll okay, grassy knolls on the top right.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well I'll take two moves with dashes a bonus. Okay,
I think I can get round the boy. All right?
Speaker 5: Uh you, well, you might go in and out of
melee arrange with him, because that you might have entered exit.
You might take attack of opportunity. So show me your
exact path that you're running, because you got to get
you gotta you were right.
Speaker 7: Here next time.
Speaker 5: Then I have to remember that fifteen twenty twenty five,
thirty thirty five, forty forty five, fifty fifty five sixty.
You can just if you go right, if you pass
by him, you can get to the railing. But you're
gonna have to go by his t he's gonna get
attack of opportunity on you.
Speaker 4: Now I have to remember what my character they can do.
I'm sure I have something about attack of opportunities?
Speaker 8: Do you have?
Speaker 5: I mean you can't because you can move. Okay, you
can move, and then you can use your bonus action
to disengage and then your action to move again, but
you will not be to do anything after that.
Speaker 4: I can take a cunning action.
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, that's what thing's like. That's that's the cunning
action is disengaged. You can move to Eric, disengage from
Eric as your bonus action. Then your action is then
moved to the to the end of the edistership, to
where you can look down and see the other druid.
Speaker 4: Okay, so I can't just hop over there?
Speaker 5: Then now lets you have a busy step.
Speaker 4: No, because that's cheating, frankly.
Speaker 5: And as goddamn right.
Speaker 4: It is all right, all right, so I can you
can take it?
Speaker 5: Or are you taking attack of opportunity? You might get
stabbed in the spleen, but you'll get past.
Speaker 4: Him, find out to take the attack of opportunity. And
is where we find out that he's got a dagger
of plus seven to twelve men or whatever. Come on, man, he's.
Speaker 5: Got a short sort plus one and it's a plus uh.
It is a plus seven two hits.
Speaker 4: It's got short everything the cunt.
Speaker 5: Uh fifteen?
Speaker 8: Oh that was so bad? Out of nowhere.
Speaker 5: Did a fifteen hits you?
Speaker 4: What is my see?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 4: My see is no Wait a minute, I've got my
sword drawn and I have a defensive duelists so no,
it does not all right?
Speaker 5: So Eric, as you run by him, he slunges for
you with quick steps thanks to your new erected spine
changed you dece things bling away, hit his blade away
and get just by him. Maybe even give the kid
a little snirky you face, maybe middle finger. You know,
you get past him, so you get to the other
side of the ship. Not a problem. Ah, that's your movement,
that's your bonus action. So you shall have an action.
What would I like to do?
Speaker 4: Jump in after the druid while giving the kid the
middle finger.
Speaker 5: Okay, you okay, now, Grass, you know that was a
couple of rounds before and they okay, So be very
honest with you. You get to the edge of the railing,
give me a quick intelligence roll, givvey.
Speaker 4: I have gone through an extensive back story with his character.
He's not gonna let a load of people drown trend
up because his friends are racist.
Speaker 8: All right?
Speaker 5: Just what you understand, Grass, You know wasn't given an elf.
Speaker 4: That's the thing. This was like a residual action of
a very racist direction.
Speaker 5: I just want to be known that it's been at
least three rounds now since since she got you know what.
Speaker 4: In that case of my action, I'm not going to
roll her intelligence check. I'm going to say to my team,
so I get it with bastards, your old bastards, and
the world I've come back to is not the world
I left. But I'm going to make you fuck as
heroes or I'm going to die trying. Then I'm going
to flip them all the middle finger and jump off.
Speaker 5: Okay, dive into the water. Give me now, this is
where I need. I needs to need a perception check
from you. So it looks grassy Nol, So.
Speaker 4: Perception.
Speaker 8: Can I roll a perception to see if I heard stands?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 8: Ring, yes? All right? Can I use twelve? Oh no, wait,
I use my own because that's wisdom fourteen? You heard them, yep?
Speaker 5: Okay with a twelve. Okay, So I'm trying. I'm looking
up sinking rules and fighting real fast because i just
want to know. Because these people were like they were
bound up and there was metal around them, and they
could not swim, so they fill over at least four
rounds ago. So grassy Nole never couldn't swim and couldn't
speak because their mouths are band so they could not
speak back. They could not wild shape out. Now it's
been a hot minute. Drew is wild shape because is
it a speaking or is it just an innate action.
Speaker 8: I think it's just an innate action. Let me double
check on my character sheet and see what it says.
Wild shape has an action. You can magically assume the
shape of a beast that you've seen twice, wor short,
No no limits on verbal semanting anything like that.
Speaker 5: Okay, good, all right. Now the question is did Grassy
Nol use them? Because you guys make it. This has
been a long day. You guys are not the only
ones who like went through a lot of your spells
because like realized this entire thing about the Grammy mows.
He's been one day. So let's find out. I'm gonna
se perception a percentage of what does Grassy Nol have
any wild shapes left in the I I.
Speaker 8: Will say to Grassy Noole's credit, wild shapes refresh on
short rests, not long Oh okay, well, I.
Speaker 5: Was hoping I was going to go for seven, like
I know, I was giving them by twenty five percent
chance and they did not quite reach it. So it's
saying you dive in if you swim really hard. But
Grassy Nole is sinking fast.
Speaker 4: Well, you're probably just gonna die. Then I've got a
person of war breeving, so it'll take it over.
Speaker 5: Fine, you can go down there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you're okay, it's thats the problem.
Speaker 5: So if you're like kind of like torpedo yourself, you
might be able to catch up. I mean, we'll just
say for the sake, you're swimming hard, you're falling, you know,
you're putting extra effort into it, or they're just kind
of like they're the mercy of the current, so you
might be able to get down to them. So you
dive in, you see just in time and hug Jackman
floating down past you. But know they went down first,
so Grassy Noll's is the closest. So yeah, huge Ackman,
just the time are too far gone. But Grassy No
let's say you have a shot. I'll give you a
shot to get to them. Okay, that'll be on your
next turn, because you did all that to get to
dive in. Okay, who's up next? I believe it is Claudia.
Speaker 2: Yep, hi uh okay, So Claudia is at a crossroads.
Can she see the the what is it patron saint
thing that?
Speaker 5: Yep, yep, you see the cambi and demon's right there.
Speaker 8: All right?
Speaker 2: And is she smart enough to know that it's evil?
Demons evil bad?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 5: Well, it's from the nine hells, like like that's all perception.
That's really up to you. What do you feel about
you know, demons, hells and like these are it's not
judo Christianic, it is just it's a place of being
where some creatures live.
Speaker 4: So the little equation comes up above a head. Evil
equal bad.
Speaker 5: He's like, if you go back to your one on
one story, you know that you were walking down a
road of like heaven and hell, and there was an
angel on one side and a demon on another, and
a bare spirit saved you down the middle?
Speaker 2: What is bad?
Speaker 4: What is good?
Speaker 5: That's kind of what you said in the game as well.
Speaker 2: So when we played the final one, so exactly. All right, So,
how injured is Eric?
Speaker 5: Uh, he's you know, pretty wounded. Actually, I'd say he's
he's down to like twenty five percent or less of
his hit points. All right, Well, the glow he once
had is almost all gone.
Speaker 4: She'll shoot it.
Speaker 2: She's going to shoot an arrow at him, go for.
Speaker 4: It, all right?
Speaker 8: What? Uh?
Speaker 5: Seventeen that hits and he is, well.
Speaker 2: He's gonna no sneak attack, so Percy here.
Speaker 5: His funny is he's gonna go to shield it. He's
gonna use one of his spells to shield it. And
you watch as like he wages his hand to shield
the spell. Your ra goes through his hand and pins
his hand to his face because the demon shakes his heads.
Like we had a deal. You were gonna bring me
the entire totally innocent party, and you failed, my son.
I'm sorry those feld this was the first party. Okay,
I bring you the tip and then you have the
rest of the souls in the ship. Like we made
a deal, the totally innocent party, souls for the power
and then the rest of the people in the ship.
A deal is a deal, and you have failed the deal.
Right now, I have no souls? What should I do?
So he's he's pulling back his power. So Eric's warlock
powers are all kind of like going away because his
patron's clearly not happy with him. So you have a
you have a crying kid with an arrow with his
face and his hand stuck to his face because of
the air that you just shot him through. And you
did how much total damage piercing damage seven but not
total top got it?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 5: Cool?
Speaker 7: And somewhere you hear bubbling left or you know it
from Mouk who knows he fucked it up.
Speaker 4: For Eric.
Speaker 2: Claude is just gonna be like looking back and forth
between going what the hell is happen?
Speaker 5: All right, so you have like that was your action.
You still have movement and a bonus action.
Speaker 2: So yeah, all right, she'll get closer to the the
demon and wait, can I rage as a bonus?
Speaker 5: How do you have any rages left?
Speaker 2: That is a good question.
Speaker 5: I have no idea what day it is, or well,
it's still the same day. You had a refresh, So
after the theater, you guys got a kind of I
got a quick refresh. I know you raised at least
once while you were at the pist Monster Rage, so
I don't think I don't think you raised a second time.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if I get a short rest, they get
one back.
Speaker 5: Okay, Well then you did get that. You did get
a short rest because you guys were hanging out downstair refresh. Yeah,
so you got at least ones. Here is your murder
bear form if that's what you want to do do
you want to rage?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 5: All right, so at the end of your turn, you
raise you better on the next turn, and you're gonna
lose your agents.
Speaker 2: Okay, no problem, all right.
Speaker 5: So I'm gonna move Claudia to the back of the
ship next to Julie where murder Bear takes place, so
you all watch us once again. Claudia summons her inner rage,
and like hair sprout, she goes taller. Her face melts
away to a rictus mask of skull and blood, as
as a murder bear Koala skull face creature appears taking
the form of her rage. Are your favorite Bendy Wendy,
it's her turn. She is so turned on by mood
that she's going to just dry hump you in the water.
Speaker 4: Mood is pretty bad ass right now to be fat.
Speaker 8: Right and moog.
Speaker 5: You feel a magical tingle around you, Not just a
magical tingle, but an actual magical tangle. For the sake
of argument, I would like you to give me a
h give me a saving throw based off of your
current charisma.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's see here. Nine Uh.
Speaker 5: You feel rather ensorcelled by this lady. You know she's
not gonna take your agency away, but you are way
more like basically is if you just pound a whole
lot of beer, like you have this feeling of like
a u fork, feeling of like you just drank way
too much and the goggles are thick. So do with
that as you see fit for the role play perspective.
Now we jump over to George ra It's your turn, sir,
Dick bat in hand yep, child ran away, murder bear
to your right, chimp driving the ship?
Speaker 4: What would man? The universe has given me one more shot.
It's duck and you're wearing sunglasses. Club this child with
a dildo, all right, give me an attack? Roll all right?
Speaker 6: I actually added a club to my inventory.
Speaker 4: I saw that, seriously, sixteen.
Speaker 5: Without any magical power whatsoever and no protection from his demon.
You clock this child upside. You hit him so hard
that the vein imprint is left on the side of
the temple. Give me some damage.
Speaker 8: Somebody find a legal knockoff of came in like a.
Speaker 4: Damage is one?
Speaker 5: Well, it's funny, it's like, but as you hit him
with just a one, the bat begins to glow. It
glows with a little sense of hell fire because you
know you have a patron in a pink rita the hag.
But she you feel almost a cackle, as if the
power that empowers you is kind of like, I don't
mind this for the moment. As the Cambian demon over
there kind of wiggles his fingers a little bit, and
your bat kind of glows with a little sense of
health fire, the veins kind of glow, the burning orange,
and like the black bat has now got these like
like raging like like like hot hell fire vinage, dick
along it and you roll me again? Uh, roll me,
roll me a two D twelve to D twelve.
Speaker 4: It is where a TV show I would demand that
that take at least five minutes of us special effects budget.
Speaker 5: All right, well that's a good thing too, because basically
it's the equivalent of double damage. So I'm just gonna
double whatever you got off of it. Anyway. So he
only had sixteen hit points left. You hit him with eight.
So you have caved in this child's skull with a
black bat. Eric's head is gone. It's Patrick's pulped you
splatter what's his skull? His brains and his childlife that
all over the day.
Speaker 4: That's not the only thing that's spluttered.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Eric, and you're standing there triumphant with a glowing
hell bat. At the moment, it feels warm and nice,
so it feels uh.
Speaker 4: See the railway. He's not jumped off the ship is
I didn't want to see this.
Speaker 7: Stanton still has his innocence, all right.
Speaker 5: Okay, So Compara, it's your turn, all right.
Speaker 8: What since I was able to hear Stan's noble speech?
Speaker 4: Yep?
Speaker 8: What what would I need to roll to be inspired
to leave and go help? Because otherwise we all know
what I'm doing. But I wanted to play this fair,
so I'm putting it in the hands of the dice.
Speaker 5: All right, I'll put it this way. We're gonna consider Stan.
I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 4: It will be the fun way. Stan.
Speaker 5: I would like you to roll a persuasion just a
straight up persuasion role. That's how inspiring your speech happens.
To be a Combert, you've got to roll opposite that.
So you've got to roll your own persuasion role. And
as long as his beats yours.
Speaker 8: Eighteen all right, I have a negative one, so all.
Speaker 9: Right, so you might not resist persuasion that it's pretty
easy to inspire a chimp.
Speaker 8: All right, I'm trying to figure out if changing out
of my wild shape form is a free action or not.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say that it is. There's certain things, like,
you know, we have to keep the hard game mechanics
something for the sake of flavor, because this is this
is a cool battle action thing going on at the moment.
I'll allow the free action to drop, like you can
drop the shape.
Speaker 8: That's cool, all right, I will drop the shape to
go back to regular Kabert with my bonus yep. I
will use my improved movements to run up to there. Okay,
and let me check my spell range to see if
I can do what I had in mind. Oh that
I think should do it. Okay, where are most of
the people who have been thrown off the boat?
Speaker 5: They at this point underwater find drowning rules or sinking rules.
Speaker 8: I know people fall and drinking is a lot slower
than you would think it is.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, not drowned. Excuse me, I'm talking not drowning, sinking.
I'm trying to find a sinking rule, like if you're
if you're not swimming and you're held down by wat
by weights, because then in air you fall five hundred
feet in uh in D and D every rounds, But
in water it's usually you have half movements. So it's
gotta be like if you're falling without if you're sinking
without things, it's gonna be at least half movement of
two hundred and fifty feet. That still seems kind of
that's like a thousand feet are already down. That seems impossible.
Speaker 8: We wait two hundred and fifty feet for half their movement.
How fast are these guys?
Speaker 5: Well, what I'm saying is if you fall, okay, D
and D rules, you fall five hundred feet per round
in free fall, right, But but no.
Speaker 8: The quarter movement for swimming speed is like because you're
pushing against like very thick resistance there.
Speaker 5: That's my point. But when you're swimming, you're you're at
half speed.
Speaker 8: Yeah, falling falling at like half of their speed or
maybe just their movement speed.
Speaker 5: Well, it's not their movement speed, there's it's just there again,
five hundred feet immediately in air and water when you're swimming.
When you're in water, it automatically has you no matter what.
So even if I do think done to a quarter,
it's still minimum they're four hundred feet down. That's the problem.
Speaker 8: Well, who went over more of what side? I guess
because they know where they are and that won't really
change anything.
Speaker 4: In I thought they were tied with ropes, not chains.
Speaker 5: They had ropes. Well, they had ropes and chains, that's
the things like. So there was like some weights around them.
They're bound with rope that they had a lot of change.
There's some chain on there just to weigh them down.
They're not super much, but they're also wearing their equipment,
some of them wearing armors somewhere and things, so they
are waged down. They cannot fight against the thing. Matt
Demon was the last one to go over, and he
was on the left side or the port side. It
was Page Turner went over first, then Hugh Jackman justin
Thyme Grassy Knoll around that way because the move went
over to the ever going chop chop chop chop. Sell
Page is the furthest one down on the far left side.
Then it was Hugh justin Grassy the captain and Mattymon
was the last one to go.
Speaker 8: Well Kamara didn't really pay that nearly that much attention,
as neither did I, so we're gonna say that U
D one on my rolo. D two one is the
left side. H two is the right side. Got it?
One is the left side our side. Yep. So I'm
gonna throw a summon beast water, be still spirit.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 8: I've got a range of ninety feet, so that's easily
enough to cast it over the ocean and maybe like
a little bit weighs down okay, And it is being
cast with the direction to go drag as many people
back up to the surface and keep them aloft breathe
as it can.
Speaker 5: Got it, Okay. So I'm gonna just I'm gonna use
your monkey for that for the moment, just because it's there.
Speaker 4: Go see monkey, go.
Speaker 8: Making an aquatic monkey.
Speaker 5: Because if you're trying to save people on that side,
the last person of that side they go over wasn't
Matt Demon. I think we're just looking to party. The
last person to go over was Move.
Speaker 8: So it's going after Moog's supposed to go for people
deep down, not people on the surface who were already breathing.
Speaker 5: Well, it's it's he's also way down by Moove's underwater.
He's sinking as well.
Speaker 8: I'm telling it to go to the deep down people.
Oh is not weighed down by shades.
Speaker 5: He can say I was trying to help the party out,
but you know what, I'm.
Speaker 8: Inspired by stand speech about saving people. So I'm trying
to save the actual background character.
Speaker 4: That moog is barely people.
Speaker 8: Yeah, so you see the water spirit in the form
of an ape manifest and go right past.
Speaker 4: All right, So what ares orders then, Claudia is barely people?
Speaker 8: Its orders are to go down yep, to the in it,
to the people who are chained up and deep down
and most in need of air, and bring them up
quickly and carefully to get them air.
Speaker 5: Okay, because I had something else working in the background,
So okay.
Speaker 8: Well, I mean it's only gonna be able to get
as many people as it can get. It's it's one, No,
I have something else working in the background.
Speaker 5: That's perfectly fine. And it's it's like I'm not I'm
a cruel basher, but not too cruel, so I have
a nails Okay, Hey, all right.
Speaker 8: Kebert can only do what he knows in the moment.
Speaker 5: Understood, all right, So that is Corbert's turn, Eric green
Trees turn. He's just going to fail all his death,
saving throws and died. That's what I'm gonna do with him.
He is his head has been exploded by a giant
dick bat. He ain't coming back after that. Uh So
with Cobera trying to save lives, Eric Green trees head,
the Moog's nemesis brains are splattered over there, stand and
trying to inspire theres to be better. Claudia kind of
standing around waiting to attack something. Uh, George are feeling
quite accomplished, and Moog might be getting laid underwater. I
think that's what we're gonna end this episode of The
Dicey Bastards. We're gonna pick up with the final bit
of the Grand Whimsy. Get see how this turns out.
Maybe get some cool role play out of this. But
I think this is a good place to end for
right now. So does anybody have to say like they
say anything to the fans before we sign off? He
just got that nice so on behalf of Rickwaltery, Uh true, Hays,
Emily Kaplan see whether or and Robert Bevan. I'm I'm
Mk Gibson with the Dicey Basterds and you've been great
and we'll catch you all next time. Goodbye, everybody.
Speaker 4: You've been listening to Dicey Bastard's catesy if Authors and
Dragons check us out our Authors and Dragons dot com
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by the Gorcore four.
Speaker 2: Mook really is a face eater, huh,