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Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in

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the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please

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visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Moira Fogerty. The Odyssey

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by Homer, translated by Samuel Butler, book eighteen. Now there

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came a certain common tramp who used to go begging

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all over the city of Ithaca, and was notorious as

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an incorrigible glutton and drunkard. This man had no strength

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nor stay in him, but he was a great hulking fellow.

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To look at. His real name, the one his mother

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gave him, was Arnaeus, but the young men of the

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place called him Iris, because he used to run errands

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for any one who would send him. As soon as

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he came, he began to insult Ulysses and to try

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and drive him out of his own house. Be awful man,

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he cried from the doorway, or you shall be dragged

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out neck and heels. Do you not see that they

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are all giving me the wink and wanting me to

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turn you out by force? Only I do not like

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to do. So. Get up, then and go of yourself,

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or we shall come to blows. Ulysses frowned on him

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and said, my friend, I do you no manner of harm.

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People give you a great deal, but I am not jealous.

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There is room enough in this doorway for the pair

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of us, and you need not grudge me things that

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are not yours to give. You seem to be just

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such another tramp as myself, But perhaps the gods will

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give us better luck by and by. Do not, however,

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talk too much about fighting, or you will incense me

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and old though I am, I shall cover your mouth

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and chest with blood. I shall have more peace to

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morrow if I do, for you will not come to

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the house of Ulysses any more. Iris was very angry

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and answered, you, filthy glutton, you run on trippingly like

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an old fish. Fag. I have a good mind to

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lay both hands about you and knock your teeth out

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of your head like so many boars tusks. Get ready, therefore,

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and let these people here stand by and look on.

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You will never be able to fight one who is

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so much younger than yourself. Thus roundly did they rate

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one another on the smooth pavement in front of the doorway,

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And when Antonus saw what was going on, he laughed

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heartily and said to the others, this is the finest

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sport that you ever saw. Heaven never yet sent anything

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like it into this house. The stranger and heres have

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quarreled and are going to fight. Let us set them

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on to do so at once. The suitors all came up, laughing,

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and gathered round the two ragged tramps. Listen to me,

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said Antonus. There are some goat's paunches down at the fire,

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which we have filled with blood and fat and set

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aside for supper. He who is victorious and proves himself

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to be the better man, shall have his pick of

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the lot. He shall be free of our table, and

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we will not allow any other beggar about the house

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at all. The others all agreed, but ulysses to throw

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them off the scent, said Sirs. An old man like myself,

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worn out with suffering, cannot hold his own against a

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young one. But my irrepressible belly urges me on, though

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I know it can only end in my getting a drubbing.

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You must swear, however, that none of you will give

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me a foul blow, to favor Iris and secure him

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the victory. They swore as he told them, and when

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they had completed their oath. Telemachus put in a word

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and said, stranger, if you have a mind to settle

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with this fellow, you need not be afraid of any

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one here. Whoever strikes you will have to fight more

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than one. I am host, and the other chiefs Antonus

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and Eurymachus, both of them men of understanding, are of

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the same mind as I am. Every one assented, and

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Ulysses girded his old rags about his loins, thus bearing

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his stalwart thighs, his broad chest and shoulders, and his

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mighty arms. But Minerva came up to him and made

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his limbs even stronger. Still, the suitors were beyond measure astonished,

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and one would turn towards his neighbor, saying, this stranger

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has brought such a thigh out of his old rags,

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that there will soon be nothing left of rius. Ers

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began to be very uneasy as he heard them. But

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the servants girded him by force and brought him into

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the open part of the court in such a fright

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that his limbs were all of a tremble. Antonus scolded

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him and said, you swaggering bully, you ought never to

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have been born at all. If you are afraid of

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such an old, broken down creature as this tramp is,

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I say therefore, and it shall surely be if he

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beats you and proves himself the better man, I shall

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pack you off on board ship to the mainland and

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send you to King Echetus, who kills every one that

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comes near him. He will cut off your nose and ears,

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and draw out your entails for the dogs to eat.

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This frightened heres still more. But they brought him into

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the middle of the court, and the two men raised

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their hands to fight. Then Ulysses considered whether he should

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let drive so hard at him as to make an

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end of him then and there, or whether he should

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give him a lighter blow that should only knock him down.

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In the end, he deemed it best to give the

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lighter blow, for fear the Achaeans should begin to suspect

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who he was. Then they began to fight, and Ears

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hit Ulysses on the right shoulder. But Ulysses gave Earris

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a blow on the neck under the ear that broke

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in the bones of his skull, and the blood came

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gushing out of his mouth. He fell groaning in the dust,

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gnashing his teeth and kicking on the ground. But the

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suitors threw up their hands and nearly died of laughter.

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Ulysses caught hold of him by the foot and dragged

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him into the outer court as far as the gatehouse.

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There he propped him up against the wall and put

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his staff in his hands. Sit here, said he, and

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keep the dogs and pigs off. You are a pitiful creature,

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and if you try to make yourself king of the

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beggars any more, you shall fare still worse. Then he

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threw his dirty old wallet, all tattered and torn, over

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his shoulder with the cord by which it hung, and

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went back to sit down upon the threshold. But the

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suitors went within the cloisters, laughing and saluting him. May

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Jove and all the other gods said, they grant you

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whatever you want for having put an end to the

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importunity of this insatiable tramp. We will take him over

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to the mainland presently to King Ecatus, who kills every

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one that comes near him. Ulysses hailed this as of

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good omen and Antonus set a great goat's paunch before him,

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filled with blood and fat. Amphinymus took two loaves out

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of the bread basket and brought them to him, pledging

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him as he did so, in a golden goblet of wine.

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Good luck to you, he said, father stranger, you are

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very badly off at present, but I hope you will

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have better times by and by. To this, Ulysses answered ampheminus,

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you seem to be a man of good understanding, as

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indeed you may well be. Seeing whose son you are,

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I have heard your father well spoken of. He is

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Nysus of Dulichium, a man both brave and wealthy. They

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tell me you are his son, and you appear to

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be a considerable person. Listen, therefore, and take heed to

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what I am saying. Man is the vainest of all

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creatures that have their being upon earth. As long as

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Heaven vouchsafes him health and strength, he thinks that he

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shall come to no harm hereafter. And even when the

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blessed Gods bring sorrow upon him, he bears it as

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he needs must and makes the best of it. For

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God Almighty gives men their daily minds day by day.

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I know all about it, for I was a rich

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man once and did much wrong in the stubbornness of

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my pride, and in the confidence that my father and

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my brothers would support me. Therefore, let a man fear

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God in all things always, and take the good that

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Heaven may see fit to send him without vainglory. Consider

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the infamy of what these suitors are doing. See how

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they are wasting the estate and doing dishonor to the

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wife of one who is certain to return some day,

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and that too not long. Hence, nay, he will be

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here soon. May Heaven send you home quietly first, that

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you may not meet with him in the day of

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his coming. For once he is here, the suitors, and

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he will not part bloodlessly. With these words, he made

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a drink offering, and when he had drunk, he put

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the gold cup again into the hands of Ampheminus, who

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walked away, serious and bowing his head, for he foreboded evil.

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But even so he did not escape destruction, for Minerva

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had doomed him fall by the hand of Telemachus. So

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he took his seat again at the place from which

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he had come. Then Minerva put it into the mind

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of Penelope to show herself to the suitors, that she

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might make them still more enamored of her and win

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still further honor from her son and husband. So she

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feigned a mocking laugh and said, your enemy, I have

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changed my mind and have a fancy to show myself

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to the suitors. Although I detest them, I should like

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also to give my son a hint that he had

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better not have anything more to do with them. They

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speak fairly enough, but they mean mischief. My dear child answered, Eurynymy,

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all that you have said is true. Go and tell

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your son about it. But first wash yourself and anoint

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your face. Do not go about with your cheeks all

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covered with tears. It is not right that you should

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grieve so incessantly for Telemachus, whom you have always prayed

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that you might live to see with the beard, is

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already grown up. I know, Eurynymy, replied Penelope, that you

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mean well, but do not try and persuade me to

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wash and to anoint myself, for Heaven rob me of

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all my beauty on the day my husband sailed. Nevertheless,

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tell Autonoe and Hippodamia that I want them. They must

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be with me when I am in the cloister. I

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am not going among the men alone. It would not

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be proper for me to do so. On this, the

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old woman went out of the room to bid the

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maids go to their mistress. In the meantime, Minerva bethought

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her of another matter and sent Penelope off into a

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sweet slumber. So she lay down on her couch, and

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her limbs became heavy with sleep. Then the goddess shed

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grace and beauty over her, that all the Achaeans might

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admire her. She washed her face with the ambrosial loveliness

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that Venus wears when she goes dancing. With the graces,

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she made her taller and of a more commanding figure,

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while as for her complexion, it was whiter than san ivory.

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When Minerva had done all this, she went away, whereon

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the maids came in from the women's room and woke

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Penelope with the sound of their talking. Oh what an

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exquisitely delicious sleep I have been having, said she as

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she passed her hands over her face. In spite of

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all my misery, I wish Diana would let me die

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so sweetly now at this very moment, that I might

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no longer waste in despair for the loss of my

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dear husband, who possessed every kind of good quality and

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was the most distinguished man among the Achaeans. With these words,

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she came down from her upper room, not alone, but

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attended by two of her maidens, And when she reached

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the suitors, she stood by one of the bearing posts

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supporting the roof the cloister, holding a veil before her face,

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and with a staid maid servant on either side of her.

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As they beheld her, the suitors were so overpowered and

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became so desperately enamored of her, that each one prayed

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he might win her for his own bed. Fellow Telemachus,

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said she, addressing her son, I fear you are no

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longer so discreet and well conducted as you used to be.

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When you were younger, you had a greater sense of propriety. Now, however,

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that you are grown up, though a stranger to look

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at you would take you for the son of a

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well to do father. As far as sighs and good

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looks go, your conduct is by no means what it

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should be. What is all this disturbance that has been

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going on? And how came you to allow a stranger

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to be so disgracefully ill treated? What would have happened

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if he had suffered serious injury while a suppliant in

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our house. Surely this would have been very discreditable to you.

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I am not surprised, my dear mother, at your displeasure,

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replied Telemachus. I understand all about it, and no one

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thinks are not as they should be, which I could

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not do when I was younger. I cannot, however, behave

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with perfect propriety at all times. First one and then

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another of these wicked people here keeps driving me out

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of my mind, and I have no one to stand

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by me. After all. However, this fight between Iris and

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the Stranger did not turn out as the suitors meant

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it to do, for the Stranger got the best of it.

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I wish Father Jove, Minerva and Apollo would break the

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neck of every one of these wooers of yours, some

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inside the house and some out, And I wish they

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might all be as limp as eresses over yonder in

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the gait of the outer court. See how he nods

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his head like a drunken man. He has had such

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a thrashing that he cannot stand on his feet, nor

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get back to his home, wherever that may be, for

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he has no strength left in him. Thus did they converse.

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Eurymachus then came up and said, Queen Penelope, daughter of Vicarius,

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if all the Achaeans in Yeasian Argos could see you

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at this moment, you would have still more suitors in

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your house by tomorrow morning, for you are the most

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admirable woman in the whole world, both as regards personal

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beauty and strength of understanding. To this, Penelope replied Eurymachus.

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Heaven robbed me of all my beauty, whether of face

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or figure, when the archives set sail for Troy, and

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my dear husband with them. If he were to return

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and look after my affairs, I should both be more

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respected and show a better presence to the world. As

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it is, I am oppressed with care and with the

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afflictions which Heaven has seen fit to heap upon me.

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My husband foresaw it all, and when he was leaving home,

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he took my right wrist in his hand. Wife, he said,

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we shall not all of us come home safe from Troy,

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for the Trojans fight well, both with Beau and spear.

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They are excellent also at fighting from chariots, and nothing

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decides the issue of a fight sooner than this. I

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know not, therefore, whether Heaven will send me back to you,

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or whether I may not fall over there at Troy.

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In the meantime, do you look after things here? Take

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care of my father and mother as at present, and

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even more so during my absence. But when you see

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our son growing a beard, then marry whom you will,

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and leave this your present home. This is what he said,

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and now it is all coming true. A night will

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come when I shall have to yield myself to a

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marriage which I detest, for Jove has taken from me

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all hope of happiness. This further grief moreover cuts me

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to the very heart. You suitors are not wooing me,

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after the custom of my country, when men are courting

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a woman whom they think will be a good wife

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to them, and who is of noble birth, and when

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they are each trying to win her for himself, they

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usually bring oxen and sheep to feast the friends of

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the lady, and they make her magnificent presents instead of

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eating up other people's property without paying for it. This

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was what she said, and Ulysses was glad when he

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heard her trying to get presents out of the suitors

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and flattering them with fair words, which he knew she

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did not mean. Then Antonus said, Queen Penelope, daughter of Vicarius,

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take as many presents as you please from any one

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who will give them to you. It is not well

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to refuse a present, But we will not go about

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our business, nor stir from where we are till you

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have married the best man among us, whoever he may be.

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The others applauded what Antonus had said, and each one

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sent his servant to bring his present. Antonus's man returned

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with a large and lovely dress, most exquisitely embroidered. It

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had twelve beautifully made brooch pins of pure gold with

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which to fasten it. Eurymachus immediately brought her a magnificent

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chain of gold and amber beads that gleamed like sunlight.

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Eurydamis's two men returned with some earrings fashioned into three

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brilliant pendants, which glistened most beautifully, while King Pissander, son

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of Polyctor, gave her a necklace of the rarest workmanship,

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and everyone else brought her a beautiful present of some kind.

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Then the queen went back to her room upstairs, and

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her maids brought the presents after her. Meanwhile, the suitors

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took to singing and dancing, and stayed till evening came.

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They danced and sang till it grew dark. Then they

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brought in three braziers to give light, and pile them

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up with chopped firewood, very old and dry, and they

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lit torches from them, which the maids held up in

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turn and turn about. Then, Ulysses said, maids, servants of Ulysses,

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who has so long been absent, go to the queen

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inside the house, sit with her and amuse her, or

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spin and pick wool. I will hold the light for

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all these people. They may stay till morning, but shall

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not beat me, for I can stand a great deal.

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The maids looked at one another and laughed, while pretty

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Melantho began to gibe at him contemptuously. She was daughter

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to Dolius, but had been brought up by Penelope, who

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used to give her toys to play with and looked

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after her when she was a child. But in spite

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of all this, she showed no consideration for the sorrows

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of her mistress, and used to misconduct herself with Eurymachus,

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with whom she was in love. Poor wretch, said she,

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are you gone clean out of your mind? Go and

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sleep in some smithy or place of public gossips instead

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of chattering here, Are you not ashamed of opening your

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mouth before your betters so many of them too? Has

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the wine been getting into your head? Or do you

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always babble in this way? You seem to have lost

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your wits because you beat the tramp. Heiress, take care

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that a better man than he does not come and

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cudgel you about the head till he pack you bleeding

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out of the house. Vixen replied Ulysses, scowling at her,

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I will go and tell Telemachus what you have been saying,

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and he will have you torn limb from limb. With

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these words, he scared the women, and they went off

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into the body of the house. They trembled all over,

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for they thought he would do as he said. But

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Ulysses took his stand near the burning braziers, holding up

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torches and looking at the people, brooding the while on

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things that should surely come to pass. But Minerva would

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not let the suitors for one moment cease their insolence,

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for she wanted Ulysses to become even more bitter against them.

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She therefore sent Eurymachus, son of Polybus, on to gibe

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at him, which made the others laugh. Listen to me,

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said he you, suitors of Queen Penelope, that I may

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speak even as I am minded. It is not for

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nothing that this man has come to the house of Ulysses.

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I believe the light has not been coming from the torches,

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but from his own head, for his hair is all gone,

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every bit of it. Then, turning to Ulysses, he said, stranger,

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will you work as a servant? If I send you

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to the wolds and see that you are well paid?

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Can you build a stone fence or plant trees? I

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will have you fed all the year round, and will

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find you in shoes and clothing. Will you go then,

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not you, for you have got into bad ways and

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do not want to work. You would rather fill your

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belly by going round the country begging Youuremachus answered Ulysses.

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If you and I were to work one against the

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other in early summer, when the days are at their longest,

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give me a good scythe and take another yourself, and

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let us see which will fast the longer, or mow

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the stronger from dawn till dark when the mowing grass

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is about, Or if you will plow against me. Let

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us each take a yoke of tawny oxen, well mated

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and of great strength and endurance. Turn me into a

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four acre field, and see whether you or I can

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drive the straight or furrow. If again war were to

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break out this day, give me a shield and a

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couple of spears, and a helmet fitting well upon my temples,

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you would find me foremost in the fray, and would

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cease your gibes about my belly. You are insolent and cruel,

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and think yourself a great man, because you live in

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a little world, and that a bad one. If Ulysses

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comes to his own again, the doors of his house

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are wide, but you will find them narrow when you

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try to fly through them. Eurymachus was furious at all this.

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He scowled at him and cried, you wretch, I will

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soon pay you out for daring to say such things

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to me, and in public too. Has the wine been

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getting into your head? Or do you always babble in

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this way? You seem to have lost your wits because

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you beat the tramp eress With this he caught hold

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of a footstool, but Ulysses saw protection at the knees

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of Amphinymus of Dulcium, for he was afraid. The stool

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hit the cupbearer on his right hand and knocked him down.

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The man fell with a cry, flat on his back,

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and his wine jug fell ringing to the ground. The

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suitors in the covered cloister were now in an uproar,

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and one would turn towards his neighbor, saying, I wish

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the stranger had gone somewhere else, bad luck to hide

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for all the trouble he gives us, we cannot permit

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such disturbance about a beggar. If such ill counsels are

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to prevent, we shall have no more pleasure at our banquet.

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On this Telemachus came forward and said, sirs, are you mad?

394
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Can you not carry your meat and your liquor decently?

395
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Some evil spirit has possessed you. I do not wish

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to drive any of you away, but you have had

397
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your suppers, and the sooner you all go home to bed,

398
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the better. The suitors bit their lips and marveled at

399
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the boldness of his speech. But Amphinymus, the son of Nisus,

400
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who was son to Aretius, said, do not let us

401
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take offense. It is reasonable, so let us make no answer,

402
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neither let us do violence to the stranger, nor to

403
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any of ulysses servants. Let the cup bearer go round

404
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with the drink offerings, that we may make them, and

405
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go home to our rest. As for the stranger, let

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us leave Telemachus to deal with him, for it is

407
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to his house that he is come. Thus did he speak,

408
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and his saying pleased them well. So Mulius of Delicium,

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servant to Amphinymus, mix them a bowl of wine and water,

410
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and handed it round to each of them man by man,

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whereon they made their drink offerings to the blessed gods. Then,

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when they had made their drink offerings and had drunk

413
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each one as he was minded, they took their several ways,

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each of them to his own abode. End of Book eighteen,

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read by Moira Foggerty in Toronto, Ontario, October two thousand six,