Speaker 1: Caalaroga Shock Media.
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news. Behind
the scenes here this is actually take two. I started
to go down a rabbit hole. There is an article
in the Daily Mail, the headline Kevin Harten crisis, staff
goes scorched earth to expose secrets, Empire crimbles and sex
scandal refuses to die. And as I just started going
through it, I'm like, I don't even know what we're
talking about here. I don't want to get in a lawsuit.
I don't want to have an opinion. But just as
I did the story, I'm like, this doesn't feel right
for the show. But if the exciting headline gets your attention,
I'll let you read it for yourself. In the Daily Mail,
let's talk about Jimmy Kimmel, who did an interview with
Vulture that headline, Jimmy Kimmel would stop if he could.
Trump wants him out late night, is dying and he's tired.
What does the end look like? The article walks through
Kimmel's career, including the early struggles of Jimmy Kimmel live
some of the stuff that has not aged particularly well.
Kimble says he is willing to apologize for things he
believes crossed the line the quote, I don't consider apology
to be a defeat. I think it's the very basis
of Catholicism. But we learned that Kimmel is passed the
point where he can be persuaded to apologize or something
he doesn't think is wrong. Quoting Kimmel, one of the
things we talked about when I first got suspended was
that I can't do the show if I'm going to
be micromanaged. They got into the end of the Late Show,
Jimmy Kimmel said, I feel a little bit defeated by
it in a lot of ways. I feel like I'm
looking at my own future. If you look at the
number of views me and my colleagues get online every day,
and add in our linear television ratings, he says it's
silly to call the format less relevant. However, says we're
not just dying of natural causes, We're being poisoned. He
questioned the idea of the Late Show with Steven Colbert
losing forty million dollars a year, pointing out that they
had offered Colbert a five year contract and then two
years later, we're like, yeah, no, we don't need this
show anymore. Jimmy Kimmel said it mighty believed that over
the course of those two years they suddenly started losing
forty million dollars a year. Those are just made up numbers.
He adds, it's not like when Johnny Carson or even
Jay Leno were raking in the dot. But he's been
told by ABC that Jimmy Kimmelive is profitable. Last December,
Disney extended Kimmel's contract for one year, more than the
typical three year renewal. Jimmy Kimmel said, everything is so
tumultuous that seemed to make sense. It's definitely not how
it's gone in the past. The current contract expires May
twenty twenty seven. Kimmell says it's important to me to
be responsible. I know I could go out in a
blaze of glory and get a lot of applause for it,
but it would be a very selfish thing to do.
Kimmel is thinking about the end of the show. He
told Vulture six years ago, I told him I thought
I was done when Biden was president, but he wants
to end on his own terms. Kimmel's producer Aaron Irwin
said he's been talking about leaving for a while. She'd
like to see the show continue through the twenty twenty
eight election, but I don't know if Jimmy can do
it for that long. He's tired. Kimmel will take a
break this summer. Johnny Mack has said, I think that's
a strategic mistake, and you should grab the Colbert diaspora.
But maybe Kimbill doesn't care. If he's thinking about ending
the show, I don't know I would have him on
this summer. His break will start after the Knicks win
the NBA Championship. Kimill's break starts after the NBA Final
on June nineteenth. Normally, renewal conversations would be underway by now,
but as of late May, they haven't begun. Kimil said,
I don't know what ABC is going to want to do.
It's an unusual position to be in, but I do
still have a year left on my contract and that's
what I agreed to do. Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel won a
Peabody Award and gave a speech Let's listen to Jimmy.
I've made some edits here for language and pacing.
Speaker 1: I'd say I.
Speaker 3: Felt pretty dumb a lot of times in my life,
but I've never felt dumber than I do right now,
being on stage with this group of people who expose
the horrors of ice on prison abuse and protests against
the Vietnam War teacher who took on Putin. I called
our president fatty shack and blobbed the builder and Leiger
Woods and the hungry, hungry hypocrite, our fondling father Malardo Cintandella,
and no Stra dumbass, And somehow we.
Speaker 1: Got a peabody out of that move.
Speaker 3: Making jokes about the president in America shouldn't win you
a prize. We have the right guaranteed by the Constitution
to criticize and satirize our leaders, as is a right
that many of us take for granted. It's one that
I took for granted for the first fifty seven years
of my life until September of last year, when the
FCC delivered a very unpleasant surprise. But then I experienced
something that surprised me even more. I watched as millions
of people, even some from across the aisle objected. They
spoke up, they marched, they canceled, their subscriptions to Star
Wars because they refused to allow our freedoms to be
bulldozed like the East Wing of the White House.
Speaker 1: They sent a message.
Speaker 3: You sent a message that we do care, and we
will stand up, and that we will not stand by
when comedy and journalism and dissent are censored and regulated
and criminalized.
Speaker 2: Jo Rogan was talking with Harland Williams about the roost
of Kevin Hart. Joe Rogan thinks some comedians.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'll let him explain it. I'm pretty sure he's talking
about Chelsea Handler here, But you tell me. I've made
edits for both language and pacing.
Speaker 1: To defend Tony to everybody. Yeah he's a great guy. Yeah,
he's a great guy. Yea, yeah, he's just like in
that world. You have to understand the roast world. That
is not the real world. Kids, That is you're going
for blood. You know, like if you're in a cage
fight and you elbow someone in the face, it's not
because you're a bad person. You have like that is
your job. That's the game we're playing. These are the
rules that we're under. And so when you see people
complain about it, see I understand the general public that's
not aware of what roasts are because the reality of
roasts are especially for like if you're a twenty two
year old kid, the last time they were roasts on
television before the Tom Brady Bros. Was literally ten years ago. Yeah,
like do you remember the Charlie Sheen Rose, the Donald
Trump Rose, the Comedy Central roast. They saw them all
the time, all the time. They were a long time ago. Yeah,
it's a long time in the zeitgeys, right, So those
things don't exist to kids. To kids, comedy is joking
about stuff. Comedy is Chris Rock, Comedy is Kevin Hart,
Comedy is Luis c K. That's what they think of
comedy as they don't under they don't even understand the
jokes like that this is roast. Jokes are mean. They've
always been mean. They could be cruel to personal, ruthless.
Go back and watch all those old Comedy Central roles.
They were brutal, they were brutal. Patrecea would just eviscerate
the entire stadium those things. The thing is, like, if
you're a person and you're not accustomed to roast and
you don't get why those jokes are so mean. I
get it. But comedians, comedians that are getting upset about
these roast jokes, you know what this is. You know
exactly what this. You're a trader. You're just using this
moment to try to boost yourself up, to try to
like knock down what's happening in these things. You could
disagree with the content, you could say, I think they
went too far with this. I don't think, but this
this pretending that these people are actual racists and Nazis
just because they're telling these jokes that are in a roast.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be careful with this next one because I
don't want to visit from anybody wearing sunglasses. George Lopez
made a joke about a very very famous person like picture,
like a really famous person that's in the news all
the time. And George Lopez made a joke about that person.
A few minutes after the joke, he received a phone
call telling him expect a visit from guys in sunglasses.
You know I'm talking about those guys. Here is George
Lopez talking to Shaquille O'Neil. I've made some edits because
I don't need to be visited by anybody.
Speaker 4: I was with Cedric and his daughter at the chateau
for a birthday, drinking some champagne. I leave, I get
in the car. I turned my phone on Instagram had
said this was probably like maybe four and a half
years ago. Allegedly Iran had offered an eighty million dollar bounty,
and I put in there, we'll.
Speaker 1: Do it for half.
Speaker 4: And I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even home yet.
Speaker 4: I wasn't even home, and my publicist school whenever round,
my publicist calls, it's just like, oh, I said, hello,
where are you? I said, up in the car. But
but but where were you? Where have you been? And
I told her man and uh, she said, it's it's big,
like it's big. And Fox had these people that you know,
he should be arrested. Of course, yeah, so I had.
I had it on Fox occasionally to see. And then
one day I get up in the morning, I walked
by it. I stopped against my attention and said, George
Lopez should expect a visit early next week. And uh,
five minutes after that, my phone rang and I said, hey,
George Lobe, you should expect the visit early next The
same thing that was all the thing. They told me,
and they came over. Attorney with me and they come
to the house.
Speaker 2: Ronnie Chang was at Harvard class day and unleashed on AI.
He said, can I say fai fi fai? He didn't
say f he said the full word there. Chang said,
it's stupid. It's so stupid. If you tried using it,
it's always wrong. AI says that Harvard has a fifty
six point nine billion dollar endowment and that the Harvard
Graduate Students' Union is on strike to try and get
a liverable wage increase to twenty five dollars an hour.
There's no way that's true. I mean, that's ridiculous. How
bad are these AI hallucinations? Getting? The mission of your
generation is to destroy AI, kill it. Ronnie Chang explains,
the creating is the fun part. The best part in
comedy writing is figuring out the puzzle pieces of a
joke and getting the self regard from having accomplished a
different thing. Why would I want AI to take it
away from me? On mattin Sheen's Secret podcast, The Guys
discussed communism. Here's a clip I've made an edit for language.
Speaker 5: Watch the Little documentary on Mals dung.
Speaker 1: What's he up to?
Speaker 5: He's dead, but he killed a lot of people in
the way out a lot. It's important to study communism, yeah,
because you know the youngsters these days, they think it's
far out and fly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really weird.
Speaker 5: It's not usually results in about fifty million people dying.
Speaker 6: Doesn't work typically, Yeah, it's no, it's pretty I mean
that's you know again, I've been making the YouTube debates
spear watching that and that's a big one, Like how
you uncomfortable calling yourself a communist if that many people died?
And it's like, well, it's because it sounds nice, you know.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, we shared.
Speaker 5: It's like it starts with the seizure of private property exactly.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it is funny where it's like built on It's
like it's not really sharing.
Speaker 5: It built from the government taking everyone's property. Well, the
government's terrible. Yeah, I don't trust them with anything, it'd
be horrible. Why do people want to give them more power?
Speaker 2: New England Patriots fans not happy with Matt Rife. Why
quarterback Drake May held a celebrity softball game on Sunday night.
Some of the participants comedian Matt Rife Patriot's running back
Ramandre Stevenson. On one play during the game, Matt Riife
got a bad throat a first base after what looked
like a routine ground out, so Riife went to second base.
He got caught up in a rundown. Rife wound up
aggressively sliding into second base and took out the legs
of the Patriots running back. Can you imagine if you
lost your running back because Matt Rife slid into second base. Luckily,
Stevenson appeared to be okay after the play. John mulaney
has shared the new entry in his book Club. He
wrote on social media, it's on threads. If I recall correctly,
Hello from a wahwah somewhere outside Washington, DC. Mlanie reads
this month is all about the Left and the Lucky
by Willie Vlauton. M'laney says, I've read this in a day,
just in love with the characters. Very funny people in
some cases, very tragic, very human. Reminded me a lot
of one of my favorite movies, Joe by David Gordon Green.
I'm really a sucker for any story of an older
person taking a lost kid under their wing. This one
is electric. Buy it at your favorite bookstore. Meanwhile, Tig
Nataro has joined the cast of Beach Read. Character details
are under wraps, but in Beach Read, idealistic romance novelist
January Andrews and cynical literary fiction writer Augustus Gus Everett
played by Patrick Schwarzenegger, have at least one thing in common,
a serious case of writer's block. When they unexpectedly find
themselves living next door to each other in a small
Lake Michigan beach town for the summer, they strike an
unlikely bet to swap genres, and the lines between fiction
and romance begin to blur. Exciting. Huh all right, I
don't feel like playing the Gossip Corner song today, but
we are on Gossip Corner. This was on Threads. There
is an account called Assistance versus Agents. Their description the
next Generation of Entertainment. We can contact a team Warner
Bailey at United Talent dot com and we are told
there are jobs, news and interviews every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Now on Monday they posted ever wonder what some of
the biggest comedians request on their writers? And I was like,
I do so I don't know is this one hundred
percent accurate or is this totally made up? We are
on gossip corner here. Use this information at your discretion.
But according to this post on threads dot com, Bill
Burr's writer asks for two Kind bars, two Cliff bars,
two Quest chocolate brownie protein bars, two Quest chocolate chip
protein cookies, two Deer packwater cases, six bottles of unsweetened
iced tea can be pure Leaf or Golden Peak. Dave
Chappelle's writer apparently includes American Spirit cigarettes, two Blue too black.
Kevin Hart He's never in the news. Apparently Kevin Hart
needs parentheses, thirty six parentheses, twelve bottles of spring water,
and then it says keep twelve bottles at room temperature.
So I'm guessing thirty six total, but twelve of them
room temperature and the other twenty four presumably cold. The
alleged Kevin Hart writer also asks for simply brand fruit punch,
half a gallon, simply brand lemonade, half a gallon simply
brand watermelon, half a gallon, a Curriig coffee machine, some
assorted k cups, two boxes of lit would iv any flavor,
but no strawberry, so that's not any flavor. It's any flavor.
Butt strawberry, a Canada dry ginger, ale x L dudewipes.
So Kevin Hart was very thirsty and now he needs
some dude wipes. Are you familiar with dudewipes? If you
go to dudewipes dot com, they will tell you we
make flushable wipes, billions of them assembled right here in
the USA. They're tagline billions of butts wiped. That's on
Kevin Hart's writer. Where what else does he want? Pathwater,
Essentia or Icelantic water, twelve bottles of those four diet
Doctor Pepper twelve ounce or sixteen ounce. It's not like
Kevin Hart's Picky Sea. Four smart energy drinks are sorted,
and he's also down with the unsweetened iced tea pure
Leaf or Golden Peak. Gabriel Iglesias, his writer asks for
cold brew coffee Stumptown preferred. Joe Coy, he want host
of the Golden Globes. It made a horrible, mean joke
about Cheryl Swift. Wodn't have time for that. Joe Coy
is asking for six twenty ounce hydration water bottles. Essensia
can be a substitute Alisa Dieke would like two Celsius
Energy d Inks orange please, and six bottles of Mountain
Valley Spring Waters not sparkling. Hannibal Burrs would like kind
bars two of those. And our last writer is from
Tom Sigura, who, according to assistants versus agents, would like
four Liquid Death rest In Peach cans, four Stumptown Cold
Brew coffees, glasser nitro can is fine, six Sierra Nevada
pel els, six bottles of Harmless Harvest coconut water, four
Fever Tree on Cater's can's blue label. I don't even
know what that is. Two RX bars Dealer's choice, ten
Go Marco macro bars, berry or lemon flavor preferred, and
we're told you can get those at Whole Foods. There
are six sparkling waters, Popochico lime or grapefruit please.
Speaker 1: Can you mention?
Speaker 2: Rob Anderson has his debut special. It's out on YouTube today.
It's called Are You Afraid of the Nineties. We are
told that Rob Anderson is known online as the King
of Nostalgia and has built up a cult following through
his celebrating and roasting of the most chaotic retro pop
culture moments taped during a sold out show in Vancouver.
The special revisits the movies, television and pop culture moments
that shaped the generation and Bill Cosby in the news.
An LA County Superior Court judge has denied Bill Cosby's
request for a new trial after Drury recently found Bill
Cosby was liable for nineteen million dollars in damages for
a civil sex assault case. Judge Bradley S. Phillips ruled
on Friday that Bill Cosby did not prove there was
any irregularity in the court proceedings that would have presented
Bill Cosby from getting a fair trial, and the damages
awarded to his accuser were not excessive. In March, a
woman was awarded nineteen point two five million dollars in
damages after she sued Bill Cosby in twenty twenty three,
alleging that Cosby had drugged and sexually assaulted her in
nineteen seventy two after escorting her to one of his shows.
Someday on this program, after the death of Bill Cosby,
I'm going to tell you a story all this month.
It's June. We're asking you we Who's we? John? Who's WII? I?
Don't know me. I I Hey, I'm asking you to
share the show. That's what we're doing this June. So
if you like the show, you're gonna go, Hey, buddy,
there's this podcaster. I kind of like him. He's weird,
but you'll dig it. It's called Daily Comedy News. And
I don't know what you do then, I don't know.
You grab the guy's phone and you download the show,
or or you're send him a picture. I don't know
what you do. You figure that part out? Who is
my dog barking at? Did Amazon?
Speaker 1: Come?
Speaker 2: I bet Amazon come? Can you hear the dog on
the microphone? You might not be able to, but boy,
I can hear the dog.
Speaker 1: Dog.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to tell the people to share the show,
and now they're all distracted because this is a dog
barking and I'm distracted. All right, just share the show.
That's what we're doing. Don't forget to follow the show
on Spotify. I've actually turned on the comments now, so
instead of me telling you, hey, what do you comment
and you're like, hey, idiot, the comments are off, you
can actually comment now. Thank you Justin for pointing that out.
At three forty two am in the morning and I
think that's it. Oh Nick, Tonight, Go Nix go. The
New York Nicks are in the finals. If you're looking
for me at a thirty pm Eastern time, I will
be in the comfy cheer Go Nix. See you tomorrow