Speaker 1: And you will get weigh him twerking his hot little body.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine Lee pulling this off in a kimo?
Speaker 1: Now I can't, Hi, Lo, Welcome to another brand smack
new episode of another blowdeck podcast. My name is Dylan.
My name is Dylan, and that is Pat. His name
is Pat.
Speaker 2: Permission to come aboard granted? What's up, bitch? Oh not much?
Speaker 1: Okay? So cool news, cool updates, cool news, what are they?
Speaker 2: Huh?
Speaker 1: What are the cool updates and cool news from our world?
Speaker 2: Our world?
Speaker 1: Traders is over?
Speaker 2: Well that's sad news.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a good point. Okay, well that's sad nude. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Summerhouse fans of Summerhouse. Uh, it's a good season. We're
doing that at patreon dot com post it's a great season.
Speaker 1: I mean, think about Lindsey Hubbard is pregnant by another
man in the same house with her. It is kind
of weird to even think about how fucking bizarre that is.
And then you've got Jesse Solomon, who I think as
a girlfriend. Four episodes of the show. It's like really
really crazy stuff. Paige and Kyle little Lepreconnor fighting, and uh,
it's gonna be great. So go to patreon dot com
Slash another podcast network to listen to that. I just
got back from Seattle. I am so excited to talk
about Seattle with you. Some of the weirdest people just here.
They're the weirdest people.
Speaker 2: So it's not Austin is keep it weird?
Speaker 1: No, it's I would say, make Seattle less weird than
you are. So weird and a loof up there. Just
to give you an example of how fucking insane people are.
I walked into a little convenience store, a little sandwich shop,
to get my wife some water, and a guy walked
in and went to the register next to me. He said,
are you guys still serving breakfast? And the casher said no,
And I looked at my watch was four fifteen in
the afternoon. What is happening?
Speaker 2: Keep Seattle weird?
Speaker 1: Keep Seattle weird? All right?
Speaker 2: So you're going to discuss that on aps by the paywall, Yes,
And I'm going to talk about my five year old's
birthday party. It was Barbie themed. My wife and I
we love to We love to talk talks back about
other parents. We had a bet so our gift bags
this year. We were trying to be elevate ourselves as
parents that were doing well, parents of status. That's right,
that's right. That's how this world works, and so we
ga doesn't.
Speaker 1: That's how the private school's sphere in Los Angeles work.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, and so we gave Barbie dolls and Lego
sets away. Yeah, as gifts cost fucking fortune. I'm not bragging.
I'm an idiot for doing it. And we had a
bet the night before. What parent is going to say,
my kid wants this at the start of the party,
point out a bag.
Speaker 1: What a specific bet?
Speaker 2: It is? No, no, no, this is the way it works.
You give gift bags out at the end of the
kids party. But for a parent to point at a
specific Barbie doll ar Lego set and say my kid
wants that, that's a special brand of narciss I think
that you and we nailed it.
Speaker 1: You invite you know, interlopers into this house all the time.
The stories I hear of these parents, I mean they
should be institutionalized. But go to Patron dot comp Session
on the podcast network for all of that. That's right,
Reality Gaze. We just sat down with them for a
long time. It's probably the longest podcast I.
Speaker 2: Think we did a two hour podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's great fun with those boys.
Speaker 2: Blind worst season ever, worst season ever.
Speaker 1: But we are here tonight to talk about the three
card Monty of women and we Han below deck.
Speaker 2: Now, this is a good show. This is good reality
TV unlike Love is Blind.
Speaker 1: Right, because if you look at the difference in casting
right now, Love is Blind often recruits traumatized youngsters who
grow into broken human beings.
Speaker 2: Ah, this is the reverse.
Speaker 1: This is traumatized youngsters who grew up into broken human
beings that flee the land and go to see Do
you see how the steaks are higher?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we get some great searera atte History tonight. Beef beefcakes.
I mean, you know, I thought it was probably the
worst episode of the season. Actually I hate it. But
fifty pods fifty pots, Yeah, wow, I thought it was great.
Speaker 2: I don't remember what happened because I watched this like
five days ago and I had to carry us back.
Oh screeters. Yeah that's right, all right? Can I start
us off?
Speaker 1: Deal?
Speaker 2: No, you have to give you just because I don't
remember what happens in this episode. At the top of
my bad I would give it fifty pods.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a great score. Okay, Okay, you clearly have
a joke that you would like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I want to tell us.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay.
Speaker 2: So the episode begins with Johnny the Decky taking charter
gusts India, India or India.
Speaker 1: You got it?
Speaker 2: Okay. She panics a bit on that scared du Yeah,
she can't swim, that's right. And I once asked a lifeguard,
because you know, when I'm at parties or cocktail parties
and I find out what someone does, I always ask
them of the most inappropriate question.
Speaker 1: Was it a lifeguard with like big juicy cans that
run downs the beach?
Speaker 2: It was a big guy. He looked like he was
a bait. Watch okay, And I said, give me the
best story you ever had as a lifeguard, because I
always wonder, like, do you just sit in that.
Speaker 1: Careful of that question, because you get some pretty harrowing stories.
Speaker 2: Well, he told me one time he ran out in
the ocean. Yeah, and uh, he grabbed onto the person
to save him, tried to grab him, putting one of
those booie things around and to hold him up. They
panicked so much they almost drowned him. He said, The
biggest problem with being a lifeguard is when you go
out to save someone, they can possibly kill you because
they panic some.
Speaker 1: Right right, right, right right, And in those moments sometimes
you know they become the enemy and you have to
fight for you.
Speaker 2: Then you have to punch him in the face, knock
him out and leave him for dead to drown the water,
because you got to look out for yourself.
Speaker 1: Because a life what do they call it, the lifeguard?
Life guard?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a lifeguard is you know.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of philosophical ethical weight pushed down upon
these people. And if they are their too guard life
and there is something that is threatening two lives instead
of one, it's one of these kind of ethical quandary.
Speaker 2: It's a sophie's choice.
Speaker 1: You have to save the most lives, you have to
guard of the most love.
Speaker 2: And that would be uh myself, right.
Speaker 1: Right, right right. I got a lifeguard story, you know,
it's so crazy. My my friend Connor, he was it
was skim boarding. H the uh the board got stuck
in the sand and it came up. He hit his
foot on the giant hematoma starts to grow, the blood
pouring into this bulb on top of his foot who
helps him to the lifeguard station. You know, Jennifer Lawrence.
Speaker 2: She's probably out there fucking saving some dolphins or something.
Speaker 1: Now she went to church with us. Isn't that crazy?
We are such Hollywood leads. It's so crazy. This is
why this is why the rest of the country hates us.
You know what I mean? We deserve it, Yeah, we do. Anyway,
Uh we on, g let us know who's use lifeguard?
Story was better? Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, anyway we end he goes out there and uh,
I think he gets her back to the boat and
leaves Johnny out there. Meanwhile, Adare, who I think he
is in love with, is talking some major shit about
him because she's like, I wouldn't put that.
Speaker 1: No, she says, our boss is a threat to himself
and everybody aboard this best's right, a little bit like
the opposite of a lifeguard. Yeah he is. He is
perfect for the show. He is borderline incompetent, dangerously so
I mean he he rolls up to that jet ski
with Johnny now drowning, and he's like, I think there
was a leak in that thing. They're like, yeah, I
mean we had the discussion about it five minutes ago.
Speaker 2: This is where the great casting comes in because I'm
getting ahead of myself. But later on we'll have a
meeting with hot hot pants who calls him completely out
on his bullshit. Yeah yeah, listen right, you know are
we talking about him? Man?
Speaker 1: Well we're talking about here, okay, all right.
Speaker 2: So anyway, they drag that fucking thing in and then
they all like pile it onto that platform. Very impressive.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, I feel a little weird
because I that got into like a domino kind of
impression or a data kind of impression, and I didn't
mean for it to be that. I would never do that.
Speaker 2: One thing I should know better is I listen to
podcasts where a bunch of American people do imitations of
people from the UK and Australia, and I always cringe
when I hear it, and then I have to look
at myself in the mirror and go, why are you
doing it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, you're part of that same awful tapestry, that's right.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1: So we get the jet skis back on the boat
and it starts to sink immediately they have to it's
a fire of alarm fire. This skodoo is twenty k Right,
They've got to rescue this skadoo, and they can only
do it with the help of the coal shovelers, the
sex traffickers from underneath the bow.
Speaker 2: Yeah you're talking about the engineers. Yes, we're not for them.
Speaker 1: We would have lost.
Speaker 2: This scadoo, by the way, has a huge spectrum of
what it beats.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: In the film Prometheus, engineers were people that created life
out out of the planet. Yeah, engineers on this sa
rat vessel. Mean, I don't know what the hell you do?
Speaker 1: Well, they keep they keep the multimillion dollar vessel float.
They're really the only serious people aboard this vessel, and
we constantly mocked them. You know, I got to talk
about it. But fucking alien Romulus, man, you liked it.
I give you so much shit for watching these alien
movies over and over and over again. It was fantastic.
Speaker 2: Did I tell you? The last alien is Elliott's soccer coach,
the skinny humanoid one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, his name's Trevor.
He looks that weird in fucking person. Oh that was
such a skinny guy.
Speaker 1: That was such a horrifying Oh, it was so scary.
I gotta tell you, though, guys, if you've never seen
Name of Romulus, there's this scene where the ole of
the xenomorphs right there in this hall way and they're
all going to go where they come from. I don't
know why the fuck there are all of a sudden,
fifty of them. I don't know. She hit the zero
gravity on him right, and then they're all just floating there.
She shoots all of them. It's this crazy scene, and
then they have to get through, but all of the
acid blood is still hung in the ear, so she
has to they have to kind of grab Pretty awesome, dude.
I was like, well, that actually is quite a creative
thing that chat ChiPT came up with.
Speaker 2: Okay, so okay, okay, okay, I want to send us
up here down Yeah all right, So, uh.
Speaker 1: Has it been good so far? I think it's been
really good.
Speaker 2: Oh we're killing yeah, I think so, okay, Okay. So
we gets back on the boat and uh he immediately
I think is greeted by Zorena or something like that,
and uh so he. I think he's a loser with
a dare. She doesn't want any part of him. I
think those two sea rats aren't going to hook up.
But The good news for him is Zorena's self esteem
is lower than the back of that jet ski in the.
Speaker 1: Watery We love Serena. Okay.
Speaker 2: Oh and by the way, this is a great plug.
Zorena will be on the show on Friday's episode. We're
interviewing her.
Speaker 1: Soreing her on Friday.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, So go to our Facebook group and submit
your questions. We'll ask is it in person or zoom zoom?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, Well.
Speaker 2: Hopefully she doesn't listen to this episode. She might not
want to show up.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you just said something pretty awful about her.
But I mean I referred to her as her food
as as pan am you know, cafeteria foos, So I'm
sure that she's you know, I mean, listen, she's a
good sport.
Speaker 2: I listen, I am.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know that was happening. Do I need
to get better at the emails because that's okay, yeah,
that's my bad. Okay, So weigans all smiles. He's like,
take a picture. We're gonna laugh about this for years
to come. And the charter guests are pretty chill about
this because if you look over the bow, what you
see is really this kind of circus act of these
sea rats who have no fucking idea what's going on.
The guests want to bar hop, and what the guests
want they get, so they will get. It's a willywalk
a moment. You will get nothing, you will you will get.
You will get hot ass Captain and Johnny in bathrobes
or or kimonos, that's right, and you will get weigh
him twerking his hot little body.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine Lee pulling this off in a kimono?
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Captain hot pats Jason says, we kind of
owe it to them.
Speaker 1: What are we going to do for an in memoriam
because I don't think that he's going to listen. I
think he's a healthy guy, but you know death can
come for us at any debt.
Speaker 2: Well, he's lived a great life.
Speaker 1: I mean, we really got to think about that, because
you know this is no Spring Chicken. I mean we
really we should have a folder in our phone.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, when you make it past
seventy five, like he has that old bastard you know
what every day again. I think he's I gotta talk
to Kate about this. I think Bravo is giving them
a show to recap Bravo shows in the summer.
Speaker 1: Again.
Speaker 2: I don't know what agent he has.
Speaker 1: What's going on here? Well, Page and Kyl are yelling
at each other about level. Wow, he's fucking like he's
a Bill Belichick of reality TV recapping. Oh this is
all right?
Speaker 2: As he does, we all know, no one misses.
Speaker 1: He's been gone. He's not dead, but he will be,
and we have to get ready for that because that's
gonna be a big moment for us. It's gonna be
a big moment for culture.
Speaker 2: Would have to bury him in those boots.
Speaker 1: What boots? Let's chill out, okay, h O, all right.
Speaker 2: All right, So this is when Meanwhile, meanwhile, we had
attempts to pass the buck on the jet ski debacle.
I think he talks to Johnny Is like, hey, remember
when I didn't send you guys out in the water
with that jet ski that was fully the merchant water. Yeah, yeah,
I kind of remember that.
Speaker 1: Well, we're getting ready for dinner. Last night, the steaks
were under cooked, but tonight it's gonna be different. Now.
I could have been a little bit more floury when
describing these steaks, but because we've already gone hard on
Zerina and we're talking to her on Friday. I'm gonna
lay off. That's right, Okay, that's what we do in
the business. I'm gonna lay off. Okay, Okay, Well.
Speaker 2: There's still dinner to get to hopefully you have some
Dinner was great.
Speaker 1: Dinner was great. Ok yeah, but before we get there,
we have to talk to Weihen and Captain you know,
don't don't put the jet ski in the water if
it's got a leak. That's it fairly self explanatory. Come on, man, I.
Speaker 2: Mean he explained trying to fuck around with me.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's what he was like when he was talking
to him, and Ween was like throwing excuses out there,
and he was like, get those a man. What I
want is no he's a little British now, but you know,
it's a point taken. He was pretty peeved.
Speaker 2: I like Hotpants Captain.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's great. So I'm moving on now.
Speaker 2: I do want to say, although hot Pants Captain Jason
was not Johnny Cochran, his examination of wee Hand was
quick and it exposed him to be a liar.
Speaker 1: And was Johnny Cochran good across examination is that was at.
Speaker 2: His All I know is he got a guy that
a guy off that cut two people's heads off of
the gardening troun. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: There are probably like there are probably like ringers that
you bring in the in the the the battlefield of law.
You know, there's probably guys that the guys and gals
that excel and like a cross examination. So like Johnny Cochran,
like there's some you know, gardener who saw O. J.
Simpson got two people's sets off and he just completely
eviscerates his character and and and the man saw it happen.
But Johnny Cochran's so goddamn good that he got him off.
I feel like we're getting a little distracted. It's mainly
my fault. So Ween is a former stripper who is
confused about while these girls are crushing on him.
Speaker 2: Uh, probably because you have accepted.
Speaker 1: Their courtship and returned kind of physical interest back at them,
I would say.
Speaker 2: I think I mentioned this on the last podcast. Now
the reason why Wehn, who I didn't realize at the outset,
was a true bosin for this show. He is a
true sea rat Boson. He's a womanizing pig manipulative. He
did not show his hand the first part of this season.
I thought he was just a worker bee kind of
checking out what but he is a full blown pig.
Speaker 1: Yeah, subterranean pig. You got to you got to dig
a couple of layers before you see what a big,
giant pig he is. But you know who isn't a
big Harry? No, I was gonna say big Red, Big Red, Yeah,
not a pick, and Harry also not a pick. You
remember when the deb told you to shit or get
off the pie with a daughter?
Speaker 2: Ash, she said, you had sex with my daughter. She
gets to move into your shitty apartment. I was like,
no way, Deb. Yeah, She's like, well, I will tell
her that she does not need to communicate with you anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I fell for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that didn't go well, great job, Deb. She's gonna
assume me someday. I'm sure she tries to track me.
Speaker 1: Down every one. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's what you call,
you know, square peg rondall. You know, it's just not
gonna work, Deb, So Harry is kind of slow playing
this to a fault. At this point, big Red is
ready to pump things up.
Speaker 2: She wants more heat in the bedroom. Absolutely mind blown. Okay,
so this is an interesting thing about what's going on
with the dynamic between men and women. Yeah, we've been
told as men, hey, don't be a fucking gross pig
and try and make out with us and push us
into a bedroom.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, you know, listen, we there's a certain
truth to you know.
Speaker 2: How do I how do I say that I know
this is this is tough, This is a tightrope, I
will say, Yeah, there is a fine balance between I think, Harry,
she should communicate more with what she wants.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah. What women have to understand is that
men are dumb and bad at picking up. We can
be specialists at having sex with women, but in terms
of navigating the emotions of another person who is female,
pretty bad at that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when to make a move and when not to,
I will say, at the tail end of this episode,
it was a classic like example of what men and
women think about the same thing that happened. And then
when you walk into separate.
Speaker 1: Room, Well, I'll tell you what if if somebody brings
you up to a guest cabin, that's a fairly clear communication.
It's a fairly clear communication at least, you know, we
don't have to eat each other's tush or anything. But
definitely don't go We've.
Speaker 2: Got a lot of work to day tomorrow to go
to bed, all right.
Speaker 1: Definitely don't do that, all right.
Speaker 2: Personal story, Patty. Personal story. Yeah, twenty some odd years ago,
I worked on a recording studio major artists went through there.
There was a particular music artist female. She was on
a record late like shud have.
Speaker 1: A busted up Mustang and a drug problem.
Speaker 2: She had like a semi hit song. I will not
give her name out, Okay. Uh, she was a little
further than me.
Speaker 1: Get this, he's talking about Fergie. No not.
Speaker 2: So I wanted to go on a date with her.
And I'm like twenty two to twenty three. So I
call her because she gave me her number, and so
I call her. That's when you'd call people back in
the day. And she picks up and I said, Hey,
would you like to go to a movie tonight at
the Chinese Man's Theater? And she said, no, I'm staying
at the hotel. They put her up at the Rosevelt.
She goes, why don't you just come up to my room?
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want to know.
Speaker 2: How I internalized that. Yeah, I thought that she was
telling me that she didn't want to go on a
date with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was saying, yeah,
come up to my room and let's have a good time. Well,
she was saying, she.
Speaker 1: Doesn't want to go on a day with you. You're
a peon, You're disgusting, You're going to be waste time,
waste the time, right. I don't want to see that movie.
I just want to crack my rocks off. And you
were such a little fi dough.
Speaker 2: That you didn't pick up on Nope, did it.
Speaker 1: I mean it's just nuts. But you know, Harry, I'll
figure it out. I think let's get to dinner Gally Galley.
First up is a local chicken and red curry. They
like it. And then we get to the rooms, which
are absolutely disgusting. I don't know how the fuck they're
supposed to clean this wall, running plates.
Speaker 2: This is by the way, these two departments should be
completely separated. I don't want you cleaning Douchie out of
a toilet, sure, and then maybe washing your hands and
then laying plates on the table. Yeah, this does not
work for me.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I mean even if a clean thumb
is anywhere near the sauce. Patty will not.
Speaker 2: Either if you put your fucking thumb on my plate. Yeah,
even near anywhere where I'm gonna strape fruit off of
set it back. Yeah, you know I did that, and.
Speaker 1: You're a lot like arstreisand in that regard. So next
dish is a local sea bass with a passion for
sauce and fennel lovely light flavorful. I don't know if
I wrote sauce or they called it a sauce, but
we uh if they called it a sauce. We've talked
about this before. That needs to be removed. Right, We're
not at a Caro's right, we are not at a
hometown buffet. We need to use terms like reduction. We
need to use terms like guest streaks. We need to
use terms like shoe You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Why aren't they doing that?
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm it's a question I'm going to have for her
because she is not using.
Speaker 1: But again, I don't know if it's me on the
pot or if that you think.
Speaker 2: It's not you, it's they are not using those words.
This is onion soup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well French onion soup. You can I'm talking.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying.
Speaker 1: I know you're trying to agree with me, but yeah,
find fancy. You're you're saying to find fancy.
Speaker 2: That's right, like full us with the words, dance around
with words.
Speaker 1: Yeah, call something aubergine instead of eggplant, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well it tastes better when you say it like that. Yeah,
one hundred percent. Okay, So Marina versus a dare, Marina
is a little peeved that adare doesn't like cleaning shit
off of porcelain bowls. And this is where Marina really
took a couple of steps back from me because she
she essentially she she invented a lie and framed a dare.
She dropped a dime on her on false grounds.
Speaker 2: Remind me, well, I will say this. It's clear that
a dare prefers the decky life as opposed to cleaning
shit off a toilet.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean who who wouldn't you know, like
getting jet skis into fresh ocean water as opposed to
cleaning crusted matter.
Speaker 2: That's honest. As human beings, there's only two points in
your life you're going to tolerate dookies, like all over
the place college roommates. You accept it because it's a
funny story that's disgusting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or if you're a lot lizard second.
Speaker 2: Point in your life, you have toddlers and you accept
that as well. Sometimes I walk in the bathroom in
the morning and I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, did Godzilla
drop a log in here? And no, it's my four
year old. Yeah, it's disgusting.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so crazy. I learned, you know, because
I've been reading up on baby stuff like potty training.
You essentially have to like just sit there with them naked,
and then when they start to you gotta like it's how.
Speaker 2: Do you give them positive reinforce?
Speaker 1: I hadn't even thought of that. How do you trick
a human being into not shitting everywhere? It's amazing conditioning
that we do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we've been doing it for thousands of years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, millions maybe even so. Anyways, sea ret history wee
and I'm gonna let you take this away.
Speaker 2: Well, he was a I don't know where he's going
with this. He worked at a gay bar, but he
was a shirtless you know what.
Speaker 1: Gay Boodle and Maddie just introduced us to this term.
I knew what they were, but I didn't know that
they had a name. The name is go Go boy,
a go go He was a go go boy.
Speaker 2: This is not a sea rat history story, by the way, Dell,
I'm not even going to qualify this. Okay, Okay, it's
just him, I think trying to hide the fact that
he may have had sex with Gaban No. No, no, no,
no no no.
Speaker 1: I think he was just I think he was just
a go go boy.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I think that's all that was going on.
Speaker 2: Judgment here, I live your best life. I don't care.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I just think he was a go go boy.
But anyways, dessert is rum and coconut cake with saffron meringue.
That's a tough pot and she pulls it off. Lovely meal,
eighty one pots. I would say. Then we get to
Marina dropping a dime, and listen, we don't care enough
really to get into the specifics of it, right because.
Speaker 2: It's oh by dropping a dime. She went and complained
about her Yeah, she went and rated, she rat it,
she read shet it.
Speaker 1: She dimed, she dimed. She goes to Lara and she
says a dare refused. She said, no, I'm not doing that.
I don't think that's what happened. I think a dare
was being pulled in fifteen tooferent directions.
Speaker 2: I like a dare.
Speaker 1: She is a wild guard. I have no idea who
she is. She looks like kind of a gunner, like
she would sit on top of a tank and slaughter
Germans or something.
Speaker 2: Perhaps. Yeah, but as I've been looking at her face
and studying it for quite some time.
Speaker 1: Okay, she looks like a.
Speaker 2: Younger Tony Tony Collette. I think she won a Grammy
or something.
Speaker 1: Tony Collette want a Grammy or an Oscar? Uh, maybe
an Emmy? There you go, Yeah, yeah, maybe she won
an Emmy for something.
Speaker 2: Do it side by side, one of you barnacles, do
a Tony Collet adare side by side?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I won't see it. I'm banned from Facebook, so you're.
Speaker 2: Better for that.
Speaker 1: We get to the captain's lounge.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is the kind of sea rat stuff that
people really flip out for, right because as we know,
the guests are, you know, they can barely afford these vacations.
So if you had, if you had real money, right, like,
if you flew into a town and the only hotel
you were going to say at is the four season.
You would not be okay with this kind of fucking tomfoolery, right,
this is this is disgusting sea rat shit and it
works for people who are who go on like bicycle
drinking tours, right, which is essentially what the clientele of
this franchise is. It's not up to par, it's not
up to code, it's not anything that should be really
enjoy Like Captain Jason, it's smoking dragon now, it's fun,
it's fun, it's fun.
Speaker 2: But he looked like Hugh Hefner. Yeah, if you welcome
her to the Captain's loud.
Speaker 1: If Hugh Hefner was a buff, beautiful, blue eyed Australian
man and not a shriveled fucking freak.
Speaker 2: Well, at some point he was younger. Did you ever
see any video of him in the seventies or he
was high on ghacked out on trucker math. Watch those
old videos. Old Patty did a bunch of stuff on
Hugh Hefner. Watch old videos with him. He's grinding his
teeth as their interviewing. He was high on a trucker math.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it might not have been trucker math. It
might have been just good old fashioned tinsel Town blow
and a lot of it. You know, stuff was cleaner
back then. That's true. You could you could essentially snort
your way to China back then. Jesus. Okay, the women
are flipping out and then we get to the stripping.
I think that we end is eight great? Was I
was I too insulting when I talked about the bicycle tour?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I that's who's on this boat?
Speaker 1: Okay, good?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it probably costs less than a bicycle tour to
be on this show. Oh you'll show up, Yeah, you're fine.
Speaker 1: A right. So Harry and Big Red are not on
the same page, but Harry thinks they are. He needs
to be well and say he needs to read a
few more chapters from How to Close Ask for Less Money.
Speaker 2: Now. I do want to say this to Harry, that
is laying this the exact way you should hot Well.
Speaker 1: Okay, So for those uninitiated, Patrick has Penn Day. I
want to call it a manuscript because at this point
it it has kind of matriculated.
Speaker 2: It's coming out in twenty twenty six. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the code cracking the code how to close uh more
ass for less money?
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Harry apparently got got some notes from it, because he's
playing it just like I wrote it.
Speaker 1: I don't think so yes you think, oh yes.
Speaker 2: Brianna is a hot girl. She's come on like every
guy thinks she's hot. Everyone's hitting on her. How do
you get her interested in you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You show her a little interest, You be interesting and
the time. Well, dear, this is what you do. You
treat him like a dirt. They stick like bud dear.
Yeah interesting, yeah, shut right right right, yes.
Speaker 1: Think of at You couldn't get him into the bedroom
with that the pieces. It's really disgusting what you code
breakers think? Like?
Speaker 2: All right, next anyway, Harry, I can't tell if he's
doing this intentionally or is is he completely unaware that he's.
Speaker 1: Doing this to her? I think he's completely unaware.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, dummy, Okay, so we'll lose that beautiful girl.
Speaker 1: You're gonna lose that beautiful big Red. I'd stick at
you and gum. Next day, next morning, Weihen and Adare
are having a lovely little morning. She's wearing shoes and
he thinks that's funny. He might be uh, he might
be clinically stupid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll tell you why, because he has quite the
cadudra about his yet, sure he has two girls fighting
for his heart. Yeah, the promise he's in love with
the Dare, right, Yeah, I love the bos and see
they'd fall in love with a railing if they could
fuck it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool. So Weian is called up
by Laura, and this is where I really feel bad
for a Dare, because she evidently is not acting in
accordance to the way that the boat is supposed to
be run. And Willian's got a Willian's got a little
bit of a conundrum here, because you've got to crack
the whip on somebody that's head over heels in love
with and I don't know how he's going to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well he doesn't do it well because Jason, I think,
just tells the two heads of department. They're like, you guys,
fucking figure it out. And this commences into a tug
of war essentially over a Dare. Oh yeah, over the walkies.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, Well we'll see this this whole, this
whole you know, thing's gonna blow right. It's uh, it's like, uh,
I don't know, hungry or whatever. Fucking we fought over
something I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. You remember,
you know the powder you know powder keg they talk about,
you know, when you're studying World Wars, so whatever it was,
They're like, this is a powder keg and oh it
needed to be like you know what? What? Where was that? Me? Neither?
So drop off day and we got a little bunk
bed swapping. Now. I thought, in this moment, in this
magic moment, Big Red and Harry, we're gonna shot up.
Unfortunately not though. The new girl is going to be
staying with Big Red, and I think Johnny who cares
Marina and a Dare A Dare continues to get shafted,
and I just feel really really bad for her because
Marina has made up this little fib and A Dar's
getting crushed by it. I stand a Dare. I'm a
big adare Stan. Yeah you know what I was thinking
the other day. And just to go off topic for
the seventy fifth time, what is grease as the word bead?
You know what they say, grease is the word. What
does that mean?
Speaker 2: Okay, lyrics are not really poetry. Listen to any stone
Temple Pilot song that guy was on drugs. Any word
that just fit into the scheme of syllables was what
went down on the paper. Yeah, sure, And then when
he wasn't too high to read it off the paper,
he sang it into a microphone and became a hit song.
No do never never like try and study lyrics. Grease
is the word stupid. I don't even think that was
part of the original Broadway musical. It was just added later.
That guy is still fucking alive.
Speaker 1: By the way, Frankie Valley, Yeah, well kind of.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean to the extent that he's walking
around like a zombie, but his brain left him four
years ago.
Speaker 1: When you're splitting to men, you know, I'm a pig
for seing well though, what it is is, you know,
when you go to the four corners, you can straddle
the border of two different states. Yeah, you know, when
death wants you, when you refuse to give up, it
kind of sucks the air out of your skin and
then you can't really perform.
Speaker 2: No. What death says is okay, fine, you won't come
with me. I'll let you walk around hitting walls for
next day years and then make your family miserable and
hate you tell you die.
Speaker 1: That's the thing about death. Caddie af caddie as fuck
this guy or girl who knows what it is? It's
probably both.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you this is kind of dark, maybe
a little bit too much patty for the audience. I
want to go at like seventy two. My kids will
be like thirty or something. Time to go.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I'll leave him some money and some great memories and
a good example of how a human being should exist
on the planet, and then I'm out.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. My dad was talking. And you know,
my dad has told me that you know, when he's
he feels anything coming, you know, okay, he's going to
go out in the mountains, get naked, get drunk, and
just fall asleep in the cold and die.
Speaker 2: He told you that that's not what you shouldn't tell
your kids, that you just do that.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean when he told me, I said, what
a relief, right, And now we were talking, we were
talking about a couple of weeks. Now I want to
he wants to go to a VA hospital. He goes.
You know, you guys don't need to pay a bunch
of it. Just put me in the via, I was like, well,
I thought, what happened to the freezing out in the woods?
Speaker 2: That sounded so also, what happens with your house?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's like that, don't get sounds like a
whole mess. I thought you're gonna get drunk of the
woods and die. It's like, what the fuck? I'll talk
to him about it, all right, let's try and convince
you to the back of that. We started in a
really good place. It was very poet. I think it
was brutal, but life is brutal and death is brutal.
We'll talk about it. Let's drop off the guests and
get to our tip meeting. Yeah, what is the tip?
Speaker 2: Fifteen thirteen hundred each?
Speaker 1: Not a good tip? So Johnny needs some luck, and
we dumped the helmet of humiliation on him to see
if that brings it.
Speaker 2: Now, he got it on a technicality because he did
not deserve it for that whole mess with the ski
dues or whatever. Yeah, he got it on a technicality
on the fact that he almost killed himself on his
own incompetence floating out into the ocean weeks earlier. No,
that's a note for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it's clearly WI ends again. It's clearly wi
ends again. Now we get to the evening, Serena.
Speaker 2: Now, hold on, hold on, Serena and Marina, we'll get there.
This is amazing that someone who just came on the
boat gets to go out for drinks before she's done
any work on the boat. This does not exist in
any other occupation. Yeah, yeah, oh you just started. Let's
your first. Let's go.
Speaker 1: I think this happens on K Street and Wall Street
all the time. They're like, hey, fuck the work, dude,
Let's go bang some people that came over and shipping bonding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then let's go rip a bunch of people
off to us, right right right, okay, yeah, I interrupted
you with Zerena.
Speaker 1: What's that word? Yeah, I mean they're light and one
hundred dollars bills on fire, talking about steroidy, just laughing,
throwing champagne, all this, and then they go to work
and act. You know, I can't stand these fat cats.
They really bother me. All right, let's get to the night.
Yeah yeah, yeah, well you know what, you mock it,
but on that day I did not I did not
spend a penny. I didn't and you could laugh but
I think it's nice to every once in a while
just have little I mean, essentially corporate siestes. Right, you
just take a little break. It's nice.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 1: I know you don't. You fucking you couldn't. Possibly. The
only things that you consume are the most megalodonic shit.
You eat turkey made of pigeon. Okay, you drink Monster
blue energy drinks and zero calories. I mean, you would
die if you had to go to a small business. Okay,
I well grad yeah, okay, So we get out. Zorena
and Marina are wondering what they're going to do about
the whole Wiyn situation. They're both going to pounce. He's
going to do kembe both of them. But we'll get
to that in a second.
Speaker 2: Alicia, Yes, not the Alicia we thought. I fucked up.
I apologize, Go ahead, let me have it. Okay, total newbie.
Now here's some beans.
Speaker 1: If you can believe it, Wien's attracted to her.
Speaker 2: I'm shocked by that. Uh, here's a little background on her.
She likes to walk naked on the beach with overweight
retired teachers aka nudist colony colony. Did you catch that?
Speaker 1: I think no, I didn't catch that.
Speaker 2: That's disgusting, absolutely, because why does everyone that wants to
show off their balls and boobs little kideous well for free?
Yeah that's why.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, she claims to be green.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a little green.
Speaker 2: Okay, he'll be great for doing the dishes.
Speaker 1: Yea, yeah, yeah. I think that she's going to take
quite a back seat. You know. We can tell that
she's a little bit different than Anthony, and that when
she was speaking on her love of food, she's sighted
the color and the smell. So that's a little odd.
But we'll see what happens. We get to dinner and
tonight tonight is the nights Areena's going to go after it,
and she goes after it by gifting weih in a
rose and smashing his face into her tits. Now, at
this moment, we hand quote unquote knows he has a problem. Now,
I don't like we Man referring to Serena like that,
but and Marina kind of fine with Marina. But anyways,
he has a dilemma, and I think that he goes
about it in a huge Suspects type twist, in kind
of a reasonable way.
Speaker 2: Now, we have he's a pig. But okay, so I
have to question this. You know, we've seen this play
out multiple times on multiple seasons, which is some guy
typically a and doesn't have the balls to tell a
girl you know what, I'd really try, like to try
having sex with your coworker. Yeah right, because how do
you do that?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: And then so they don't dump them, and then they
end up looking like pigs on television because they're trying
to play both people. Yeah right, yeah him, But if
you ask the sea rat that he's dumping, what which
would you prefer? I think it hurts the ego more
when on television he says I I had a sample
and no thanks. Yeah, I think that might hurt Although
Marina was a good sport about it.
Speaker 1: I actually don't want the oat bites. I don't want
the oat bites.
Speaker 2: So when I would hook up with girls.
Speaker 1: I'm so awkward to sample people at grocery stores. It's
like it's never anything that I want and they just
look so alone.
Speaker 2: Oh sample people? Yeah yeah, how about are you referring
to alcohol people.
Speaker 1: That do the sample alcohol people? There's like nutrition product.
It's like we've got a new bar it's like, I
know want.
Speaker 2: Dey'll just so you know you're paid by certain business.
That's their job. I used to do when we worked
for a copy together. I do the sample things all
the time, and it did hurt my ego a little
bit when people are like now, I didn't like the
people that have to explain why it's a yeah.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: I just prefer you just uh well.
Speaker 1: And also the people who are really into it and
want to know more about the product. It's like, I
need you to just be.
Speaker 2: I want to know what's up with you.
Speaker 1: Okay, we got to run because the SD cards are
running out, But okay, Johnny, taken up by a dirty
dancing kind of lust, goes in for a kiss. Now.
I think she very cutely shut him down and told
him she doesn't do that with people she doesn't know.
And I think that this is a budding, beautiful thing.
And I think that one of the reasons he may
punch a cubby is because, oh, interesting, little heartset, violent
puppy Johnny.
Speaker 2: I actually like Johnny. This move is so ridiculous. Look,
I know we've all got caught up in a moment
at some point in our lives. With a little alcohol
in us. But this is so stupid. Yeah, it's a
bold move, Cotton, and it failed.
Speaker 1: And as bold moves often do, you have to be uh,
you know, you have to be brave enough to try. Right.
We get back to the boat and somebody who's not
brave enough to try is hairy Big Red is pissed off.
She wants to get a little heavy petting. Yeah, perhaps
dry humping. Whatever these kids are into. Get in the
comments let us know what you thought about the episode.
We love you guys very much. We're doing Summerhouse at
patreon dot com, Slash another podcast network and five stars
kind of words. We love you guys very much. I'm
feeling take it by.
Speaker 2: Pat and say goodbye.
Speaker 1: Is no
Speaker 2: Easting