WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:02.960 And welcome to Cindy Stoppo Toughest Nails on w VZ 2 00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:06.160 News Radio ten thirty. And I'm in the studio tonight 3 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:09.839 with Sammy and Sammy. Who's our handsome guester. 4 00:00:09.759 --> 00:00:11.240 Doctor Jeff Guardia. 5 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:11.800 Is that right? 6 00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:14.919 That's correct? You can call me doctor Jeff. 7 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:20.039 I think that's good. We like that. Sure, okay, doctor Jeff. 8 00:00:20.079 --> 00:00:23.079 It is okay, Doctor Jeff. Tell us a little about yourself. 9 00:00:23.199 --> 00:00:27.120 Well, I'm a board certified clinical psychologist. I'm a professor 10 00:00:27.160 --> 00:00:34.560 of behavioral medicine. I'm also a clinic director, working with 11 00:00:34.679 --> 00:00:39.039 people with all sorts of mental health challenges. And I 12 00:00:39.079 --> 00:00:45.960 also consult to several global law firms. And let's see, 13 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.759 I'm married, I'm a father of I'm like the old 14 00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:51.320 man in the shoe. I have so many kids. I 15 00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:52.200 don't know what to do. 16 00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:57.880 I have six children thirty two, thirty one, twenty three, 17 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:04.519 twenty two and eight. Whoa, yeah, so I love being 18 00:01:04.519 --> 00:01:07.319 a family man, but I have to work. 19 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:07.599 Now. 20 00:01:07.959 --> 00:01:10.040 Wait eight and then the oldest is twenty. 21 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:14.159 Three, yes, oh no, the oldest is the oldest is 22 00:01:14.200 --> 00:01:17.680 thirty two, thirty two, and the youngest thirty two down 23 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:18.799 to eight years old. 24 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:21.439 Yes, Oh my god, when'd you get a life? 25 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:26.599 My life is working, Cindy, don't get me started. I 26 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:30.200 work like you. I work about I work about seventy 27 00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:31.239 eight hours a week. 28 00:01:31.400 --> 00:01:34.239 Yeah, a little bit more for me. I'm working off 29 00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:36.840 three hours sleep last night and three the night before. 30 00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:40.680 Clients in Singapore last night and the night before clients 31 00:01:40.680 --> 00:01:44.799 in UK. So needless to say, Singapore is twelve hours different. Right, 32 00:01:44.879 --> 00:01:47.920 So it was my mato. We started, we didn't get it. 33 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:50.200 We didn't get done until like three o'clock. I'm so tired. 34 00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:54.079 But well it's a blessing, isn't it. Well, it's a blessing. 35 00:01:54.719 --> 00:01:58.040 I can absolutely say my job is fun and rewarding. 36 00:01:58.959 --> 00:02:02.959 Your job is. I would say, well, I actually need 37 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:04.799 you on my job sites to deal with these hundreds 38 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:06.719 of guys that I work with that are crazy, right, 39 00:02:07.239 --> 00:02:09.280 but we're good crazy. But then there's bad creates. 40 00:02:09.319 --> 00:02:11.560 Well, you know what, you know what's really interesting, Cindy. 41 00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:15.520 You know you know I know of your incredible work, 42 00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:17.639 and you know what you do for a living and 43 00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:20.240 what you do with Sam and so you know, when 44 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:22.719 I was speaking to Alva, who is my manager, and 45 00:02:22.759 --> 00:02:25.039 she said, you've got to be on Cindy's show. You 46 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:27.319 just got to do it. I said, yeah, but I'm 47 00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:29.360 not a builder or what have you. But she said, 48 00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:32.199 and she reminded me, you know you've done real estate. 49 00:02:32.439 --> 00:02:36.039 I was a real estate broker for several years, as 50 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:37.919 a matter of fact, had a gig called the real 51 00:02:38.039 --> 00:02:42.360 Estate Doctor. And I would actually work with the most 52 00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:47.439 difficult clients there were because I understood who they were. 53 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:50.800 I understood, you know, what a lot of their challenges were. 54 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:54.159 So I would get a signed by Corkoran or a 55 00:02:54.360 --> 00:02:59.159 Halstead at the time, all of the very difficult clients 56 00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:02.240 to do the deals with and get them through the deals. 57 00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:04.039 And I loved I loved doing it. 58 00:03:04.520 --> 00:03:07.360 Well, let me explain to you. I got to radio 59 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:09.919 after TV about nine years ago, and I couldn't talk 60 00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:13.120 about construction every Sunday night. So for me to renew 61 00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:15.280 my contract, I said, we're having I want to talk 62 00:03:15.319 --> 00:03:18.520 about whatever goes on between the foundation and the roof. 63 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:22.199 That means a lifestyle show. Think about this, right, I 64 00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:26.439 build these beautiful homes and you come by them, and 65 00:03:26.479 --> 00:03:29.080 I want you to make beautiful memories and have a 66 00:03:29.120 --> 00:03:32.080 wonderful you know, raise your children. But we all know 67 00:03:32.199 --> 00:03:36.199 reality's reality, right, and kids get involved in drugs, and 68 00:03:36.199 --> 00:03:39.120 there's domestic violence, and there's mental health issues, and there's 69 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:41.560 so much that goes on between the foundation roof and 70 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:44.199 Tava's nails became about what goes on. It's we do 71 00:03:44.280 --> 00:03:47.039 construction still, but I like to do the more of 72 00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:50.360 the lifestyle shows what's going on. And I got to 73 00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:53.039 be honest, this is a great show for you and 74 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:56.879 I to have because I feel as though we all, 75 00:03:56.919 --> 00:03:59.120 I think we all know this with any common sense. 76 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:03.759 We don't have enough mental health providers. And I don't 77 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:08.240 see being in construction where we really got that far 78 00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:12.560 with addiction and alcoholism. And I've been around it for 79 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:15.000 thirty seven years in construction, the worst of the worst, 80 00:04:15.080 --> 00:04:19.519 right union, non union, and we're thirty seven years later 81 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:23.519 and we're no better than we were thirty seven years ago, 82 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:28.160 with less doctors to treat. And I always said, look, 83 00:04:28.199 --> 00:04:32.360 and I understand dual diagnosis because there's always an underlining 84 00:04:32.439 --> 00:04:35.319 problem typically and then we go to the drugs and 85 00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:35.759 the booze. 86 00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:35.920 Right. 87 00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:38.120 So I never had a drink in my life, but 88 00:04:38.199 --> 00:04:41.000 that was my choice because my att to was if 89 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:42.439 I never tried it, I won't know if I like 90 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:45.759 it right, right, So I just never tried it. But 91 00:04:45.839 --> 00:04:48.759 I was very nervous to my own kids. 92 00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:53.519 Well, the Surgeon General must be so proud of. 93 00:04:53.439 --> 00:04:56.480 You, No, because I still smoke my four cigarettes to night. 94 00:04:56.680 --> 00:04:58.360 But I got everybody has something that they do. It 95 00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:02.920 can't be misperfect, right. But my problem with the mental 96 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:07.199 health is that there's no one helping these people. So 97 00:05:07.959 --> 00:05:11.000 I once said to one of my clients, doctor Shrini Play. 98 00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:12.399 I don't know if you know him, but you can 99 00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:16.040 look him up. And I said, Trini, these people sit 100 00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:19.360 on your couches forever. And he said the some do. 101 00:05:20.360 --> 00:05:23.199 And I said, well, why don't you try this Instead 102 00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:26.959 of working on a person's weaknesses, why don't you try 103 00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:30.399 to work on their strengths, Because if you find what 104 00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:33.399 somebody's strengths are, this is what I've done personally my 105 00:05:33.399 --> 00:05:36.079 whole life. Is the only way to get rid of 106 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:39.160 my weaknesses or my insecurities was to work on my strengths. Right, 107 00:05:39.639 --> 00:05:42.279 What did I bring to the table. And I took 108 00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:45.000 those strengths and I worked on those to make them stronger, 109 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:49.199 and before you know it, the insecurities or weaknesses just 110 00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:52.800 fall away because you just you're building off the strengths, 111 00:05:52.839 --> 00:05:55.480 and you would think that Trini play, I must have 112 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:58.160 said something that went to the moon. And he's like, 113 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:00.639 you know, Cindy, I never looked at psycho are that way. 114 00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:03.399 We're so busy trying to keep the drama and the 115 00:06:03.480 --> 00:06:05.839 drama and the this and the that and work on 116 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:09.800 that and get rid of that. So but my point is, no. 117 00:06:09.879 --> 00:06:14.639 That's but that's very sound. It's very sound because what 118 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:17.879 we talk about all the time now is looking at 119 00:06:18.040 --> 00:06:23.680 what the person's strengths are versus their deficits. So when 120 00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:26.959 I work with patients, quite frankly, I never talk about 121 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:29.639 what it is that they can't do. I talk about 122 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:32.240 what it is that they can do and how to 123 00:06:32.279 --> 00:06:35.519 strive for that. What are the things that make you unique? 124 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:38.959 What are the things that make you stand out in 125 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.560 the crowd? What are what are the things that make 126 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:45.639 you that very special person? And you know, the funny 127 00:06:45.639 --> 00:06:48.759 thing is, I've got to tell you this joke. I mean, 128 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:51.639 it's a true story. So I say to my wife 129 00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:54.839 the I don't know, maybe three weeks ago, we're all 130 00:06:54.839 --> 00:06:58.800 sitting around and we have a good good neighbor, a 131 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:03.000 friend and his wife and this guy he can grow, 132 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:06.160 uh you know, he grows plants, he does you know, 133 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:11.879 he does food. He raises chickens and all these farm animals. 134 00:07:12.319 --> 00:07:15.639 And if there's an apocalypse, you know, that's the guy 135 00:07:16.199 --> 00:07:18.800 that you want on your side. He builds, you know, 136 00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:21.079 I'm sure he's not a builder like you, but he builds, 137 00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:24.800 you know, and so on. He's great with his hands. 138 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:27.079 So I say to my wife, you know, honey, you 139 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:30.360 know when the apocalypse comes, you know, this is the 140 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:33.360 kind of person you know, maybe you should have married. 141 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:39.079 And she says, oh, well, you know, I think you're 142 00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:41.480 perfect for me. I said, well, what am I going 143 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:44.600 to do for you with the apocalypse? She says, well, 144 00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:50.839 you're a great communicator. And I was like, really, really. 145 00:07:52.639 --> 00:07:55.600 A great communicator, but you but you. 146 00:07:57.399 --> 00:07:59.480 Are making a point, and I interrupted you. 147 00:07:59.439 --> 00:08:02.639 No, no, no, my question And I want to have 148 00:08:02.759 --> 00:08:05.000 this you to come on the show so bad because 149 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:09.079 I've got so many questions, and I know my listeners 150 00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:13.560 do too. Is we don't have enough psychiatrists to go around, 151 00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:14.160 and the. 152 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:19.399 Sich psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, we don't. That's absolutely right. 153 00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:23.680 And the ones that are good are aging. And now 154 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:25.800 we've got everybody wants to do this on zoom. And 155 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:29.439 my problem with that is if you're a good psychiatrist 156 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:32.799 and you're seeing somebody for the first few times, my 157 00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:34.799 attitude is they've got to be in your office. You 158 00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:37.320 can read body language. You got to see as they're 159 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.399 foot tapping when they're talking to you, are they nervous? 160 00:08:40.440 --> 00:08:44.120 Are they hands moving? Like the first couple of times, okay, doc, 161 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.519 like you know, see my kid on zoom right, or 162 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:49.000 see my mother or my father. But at the beginning, 163 00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:52.639 like let's have a person to person meeting. Hold that thought. 164 00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:54.080 We got to go to break I'm Sinny Stumble and 165 00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:56.799 you listen Toughest Nails on w BUZ News Radio ten 166 00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:59.080 thirty and welcome to Sindy Stumble with Toughest Nails on 167 00:08:59.240 --> 00:09:03.159 w WBC News reading you ten thirty. Thank you. I'm 168 00:09:03.159 --> 00:09:09.200 a little taled, doc. So that is my issue, right 169 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:11.639 that we don't have enough mental health providers. What was 170 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:12.440 the saying part. 171 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:15.639 Of that to have somebody come into your office in 172 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:16.919 person life the first. 173 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:21.600 Correct and not to do the zoom right away. Right, 174 00:09:21.639 --> 00:09:24.200 get to know the patient then you can do the zoom. 175 00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:26.840 Let's figure out what the personality disorder is I love 176 00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:29.840 that one too. Everybody's got a personality disorder, Well, what's 177 00:09:29.879 --> 00:09:33.159 the personality disorder? All right, that's the way we ask 178 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:34.559 it for. I don't know what's wrong with you. 179 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:40.360 Listen, I hear exactly where you're coming from. And I 180 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:44.519 do have a lot of patients who say, Wow, I'd 181 00:09:44.600 --> 00:09:47.480 love to sit with you in person. These days, that's 182 00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:50.799 really a lost art. And think about it, right, how 183 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:54.720 many people now have offices where people actually come and visit. 184 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:57.559 They come less and less and less. It's easier for 185 00:09:57.639 --> 00:09:59.840 them to just hit a button on a computer and 186 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:03.480 bam they're there, Bam they're out. They don't have to 187 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:06.000 commute for an hour or an hour and a half. 188 00:10:06.679 --> 00:10:11.240 It saves the environment. So we've had to make the shift, Cindy, 189 00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:14.799 from being able to read the full body language sitting 190 00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:18.840 in an office with someone to now focusing in on 191 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:22.039 what we have in front of us. So instead of 192 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:26.120 reading the full body, now we really zoom in no 193 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:30.120 pun intended on how their eyes are moving, or how 194 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:34.519 where their eyebrows go, or whether they're smiling or not smiling, 195 00:10:34.879 --> 00:10:39.200 or the intonation or the prosody of their speech. So 196 00:10:40.039 --> 00:10:44.639 necessity is the mother of invention. And I'll tell you 197 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:50.360 most strengths will not go back to in person visits 198 00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:54.200 because it's so much easier to work from home. It's 199 00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:56.440 so much easier to be at their office and not 200 00:10:56.559 --> 00:10:59.720 have a bunch of people coming into their waiting rooms. 201 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:02.720 We've had to deal with COVID, God forbid. We have 202 00:11:02.759 --> 00:11:06.000 to deal with bird flu, hopefully not knock on wood. 203 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:12.080 We don't. So look, the future is now. This is 204 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:14.480 the way it is. We had Dick Tracy back in 205 00:11:14.519 --> 00:11:20.000 the day with the TV watches. Now we have therapy online. 206 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:20.879 That's it. 207 00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:24.960 And you think personally because you're of an age where 208 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:27.000 you've gone the other way too. It's not like you're 209 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.879 a new psychiatrist or a new psychologist. You've done the 210 00:11:29.879 --> 00:11:32.799 old way, you've done the new way. What do you 211 00:11:32.799 --> 00:11:35.720 think is better the always or the new ways? 212 00:11:36.600 --> 00:11:39.960 And I loved, Yeah, I love the old way of 213 00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:43.600 sitting with people, you know, going to an office and 214 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:48.080 working you know all day, you know, seeing people you know, 215 00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:51.720 shaking hands, touching a shoulder. I think all of those 216 00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:54.639 things are really important. But the fact of the matter 217 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:58.320 is we're in the year twenty twenty five. We are 218 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:01.799 in the future. This is what we have, and so 219 00:12:01.879 --> 00:12:06.120 we take it and we squeeze everything that we can 220 00:12:06.279 --> 00:12:08.799 out of it and make it work. 221 00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:14.320 Okay, that's the answer. That's the answer I'm still looking for. 222 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:17.240 Well, wouldn't it wouldn't it be great if I could 223 00:12:17.240 --> 00:12:20.919 be sitting in your iHeart studios with you? I mean, 224 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:23.039 that would have been wonderful. But it was so much 225 00:12:23.080 --> 00:12:25.759 easier for us to just say, all right, let's get 226 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:28.360 on the computer, let's get on teams or whatever the 227 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:32.320 case may be, and let's you know, let's let's steamyard 228 00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:34.799 and let's just go ahead and get this done. And 229 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:38.600 probably the only time in your busy schedule that you 230 00:12:38.639 --> 00:12:40.639 could fit me in and that I can fit you. 231 00:12:40.679 --> 00:12:42.519 And if I had to travel an how to get 232 00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:44.679 to you, I wouldn't have been able to do today. 233 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:48.080 Yep. Correct. But again, when you're in the studio with me, 234 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:52.600 whether you're a celebrity, whether you're an athlete, you're a politician, 235 00:12:52.759 --> 00:12:56.879 you're a normal person, whatever you are is we get 236 00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:59.519 to know each other. And actually a lot of friendships 237 00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:03.799 have been in the studio right because it's you're right 238 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:05.840 here with us, and we're laughing and we're hanging and 239 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:08.559 we're going off to commercial and we're you know, the 240 00:13:08.600 --> 00:13:11.759 stuff's coming out here. That is the the fun stuff. 241 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:13.919 It's always the background stuff, right, it's always the back 242 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:15.320 end of what we talk about. 243 00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:18.120 Well, Cindy, here, here, we are right now. And as 244 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:23.279 the late great Val Kilmer said, I'll be your huckleberry online. 245 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:28.039 How many new patients you're taking on? Anybody? Were not? Really? 246 00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:31.879 No, No, I take new people on all the time. 247 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:33.799 But you know, the majority of my work now is 248 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:36.639 working at the global law firms, working at the broadcast 249 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:40.399 centers and so on. So most of my folks and 250 00:13:40.440 --> 00:13:44.639 I actually sit in an office where I actually see 251 00:13:44.679 --> 00:13:48.200 people who come in, broadcast people who come in. But 252 00:13:48.360 --> 00:13:52.279 for the most part, you know, it's you know, working online. 253 00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:55.759 So I see new people, I hold on to old people, 254 00:13:56.240 --> 00:13:59.480 you know, people coming go. Some people I see them 255 00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:01.360 for two years, years at a time, or a couple 256 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:04.200 of sessions, and they come back two years later. So 257 00:14:04.519 --> 00:14:07.440 it's one big, happy therapeutic family. 258 00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:13.440 Okay, next question, is everybody a little crazy? Is it good? Crazy? 259 00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:19.200 Everybody? Everybody's a little bit crazy, everybody's a lot crazy. 260 00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:23.320 I mean, we've been through a pandemic, we're going through 261 00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:29.240 very very difficult political times right now. A lot of 262 00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:33.039 people are not very happy with the way the world is. 263 00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:37.720 You know, we have all of these possible issues coming 264 00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:43.519 up with perhaps another pandemic that financially, people don't feel 265 00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:47.519 really good with the way things are, and so I 266 00:14:47.559 --> 00:14:51.399 think people are getting a little bit more depressed, a 267 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:54.759 little bit more anxious, a lot more anxious. We see 268 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:59.279 depression and anxiety increasing in society. But it's really important, 269 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:01.759 and you talked about this earlier. We don't have enough 270 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:04.320 shrinks to go around, and therefore that's why we have 271 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:07.279 to be our brothers and now sisters keepers. What you 272 00:15:07.399 --> 00:15:11.120 do on your show is provided vice for people, for 273 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.679 for people. I know, that's what you do. You know, 274 00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:17.519 we have family and friends who help us out, so 275 00:15:17.559 --> 00:15:19.960 we all have to be there for one another one way, 276 00:15:20.200 --> 00:15:22.480 one way or another. But I really do believe that 277 00:15:22.519 --> 00:15:24.759 we're all emotionally challenged. 278 00:15:25.559 --> 00:15:26.000 Yeah I'm not. 279 00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:28.240 Yes, you are. 280 00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:29.360 No, I'm not. 281 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:32.360 You're you're you're a little you're you're you're a little 282 00:15:32.360 --> 00:15:34.799 bit you're a little bit different. And I really like it. 283 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:36.639 So here's the big one. 284 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:39.759 What do you take emotionally challenge means to you? 285 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:43.600 Yeah, let's get let's what we think what is emotional there? 286 00:15:44.679 --> 00:15:48.200 Well, you know, Sam, I think you know. I did 287 00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:52.320 a very quick analysis of your mom, uh and I 288 00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:58.120 see her to be a very headstrong, future thinking person, 289 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:03.039 very very good values. But she does things her way. 290 00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:05.840 It's her way or the highway, and those people who 291 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:08.879 are around her love her for that because of the 292 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:13.399 strength of her character. She manifests that through the work 293 00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:16.799 that she's done around the world, and people wouldn't have 294 00:16:16.840 --> 00:16:22.320 it any other way. And so that emotional energy that 295 00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:26.000 she has makes her very different. Some people might see 296 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:29.720 it as a little challenging for themselves, as we all 297 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:33.840 may be challenged in that way by different people's personalities. 298 00:16:34.039 --> 00:16:35.879 So to me, it's a badge of honor to be 299 00:16:35.960 --> 00:16:39.639 able to say, yeah, I'm a little bit different, and 300 00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:41.879 you either like it or you don't, but it is 301 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:44.000 who I am. We call that being authentic. 302 00:16:44.440 --> 00:16:45.840 Oh that's me a thousand cents. 303 00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:47.759 So that makes her emotionally challenged. 304 00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:53.799 I guess emotionally challenge means that, you know, there are 305 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:57.799 things that she feels that perhaps she can do better, 306 00:16:58.080 --> 00:17:00.559 or some things that she likes or she does doesn't like. 307 00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:04.200 But I think we all strive to make ourselves better, 308 00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:07.279 no matter what the accomplishments are in life. 309 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:10.640 And I don't agree with that. I think most people 310 00:17:10.920 --> 00:17:13.440 don't want to make themselves better. I don't think most 311 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:17.039 people want. Look, I will never understand from twenty six 312 00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:21.000 years old to this age. Now, I've suffered from severe 313 00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:24.519 crippling panic attacks. Now, going back to twenty six, you 314 00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:27.160 went to a psychiatrist and the first three questions, we 315 00:17:27.200 --> 00:17:28.440 are ever sexually molested? 316 00:17:28.519 --> 00:17:28.720 No? 317 00:17:29.160 --> 00:17:33.160 Physically, no emotionally no? Oh wait man, hold on, three 318 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.759 days before my mother got a period. That doesn't count. Okay, 319 00:17:35.799 --> 00:17:39.279 then no, So why do I have these? She couldn't 320 00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:41.640 give me an answer. Within forty five minutes, I walked out. 321 00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:44.519 I said, it's nice knowing you. I asked her, could 322 00:17:44.519 --> 00:17:47.400 these be genetic? Could they be hormonal? Both answers to 323 00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:51.039 those questions were absolutely not. Panic attacks are not genetic, 324 00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:53.799 and they're not hormonal. They're PTSD. I said, okay, I'm leaving. 325 00:17:54.119 --> 00:17:56.440 She's why you're leaving because we're not going to get anywhere. 326 00:17:56.440 --> 00:17:57.880 You and I because you're. 327 00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:59.039 Not because you didn't agree. 328 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:04.200 And my common sense was she asked me three questions, 329 00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:06.359 and I said, lady, you can take an excavator in 330 00:18:06.440 --> 00:18:08.640 my brain. You're not going to find anything in there 331 00:18:08.680 --> 00:18:11.240 that I'm hiding in a corner of my Brain's just 332 00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:14.039 not going to happen. I know it's not there. She 333 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:16.319 calls me twenty years later after seeing me on TV 334 00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:20.359 apologize like I remembered her, which I didn't, And she said, 335 00:18:21.880 --> 00:18:24.680 I'm called to apologize. Let you know that after you 336 00:18:24.759 --> 00:18:27.119 left my office, I got another woman that was kind 337 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:29.880 of as strong as you were, a bit older. And 338 00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:34.400 after that I went into hormone and genetics on panic attacks, 339 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:38.720 and you're right, they can be genetic, el hormonal. The 340 00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:40.000 good news or the bad. 341 00:18:39.960 --> 00:18:41.920 Can they can be hormonal. 342 00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:44.519 And I said to her, my mother had them, my 343 00:18:44.599 --> 00:18:46.240 grandmother had them through birthing years. 344 00:18:46.359 --> 00:18:47.920 There you go, there you go. 345 00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:51.440 But when I was twenty six, it was no right. 346 00:18:51.559 --> 00:18:53.400 But all that I thought were going to break. I'm sinning, 347 00:18:53.400 --> 00:18:55.599 stumble and you listen to WBZ News Radio ten thirty. 348 00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:57.079 It'd be right back and welcome back to tap his 349 00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:00.960 nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty. And I'm Sindy 350 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:02.960 and I'm here with Sammy and I'm here with doctor Jeff. 351 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:06.640 So my point is doctor Jeff that they were wrong. 352 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:09.720 I was right at twenty six my common sense was 353 00:19:09.799 --> 00:19:13.960 smarter and sharper than the doctor psychiatrist, and twenty years 354 00:19:14.039 --> 00:19:17.200 later calls me to apologize and then tells me, well, 355 00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:18.400 I just want to know one thing, Sindy, are you 356 00:19:18.440 --> 00:19:21.880 a menapologetic? Go no, you sure well? The doctors say 357 00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:24.480 I'm not. I'm not now yet She goes, well, you 358 00:19:24.519 --> 00:19:26.240 want the good news the bad news? Of course, give 359 00:19:26.279 --> 00:19:27.799 me the bad news first. Why give me the good 360 00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:29.400 news and the bad news? That doesn't make sense to 361 00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:31.880 my brain, she said, When you go through it, they'll 362 00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:35.640 either absolutely disappear or they're going to get horribly worse. 363 00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:38.799 They got horribly worse. Okay, there's where you are. So 364 00:19:38.839 --> 00:19:42.480 what do I do? Live with them? Bing goo? I'm 365 00:19:42.519 --> 00:19:44.960 strong enough to fight them, strong enough to lift to them. 366 00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:48.599 Anybody else would have jumped off this iHeartMedia building and 367 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:51.000 laid it on their head. They couldn't have done what 368 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:53.079 I've done by dealing with the Wow. 369 00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:56.559 Look, first of all, I congratulate you and I honor 370 00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:59.559 you for doing that. I think it brings us back 371 00:19:59.559 --> 00:20:03.799 to the point that we all have emotional challenges. Uh, 372 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:06.599 and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. We have to 373 00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:09.720 break the stigma of that. You're talking about, that you 374 00:20:09.799 --> 00:20:14.000 had those panic attacks at some point is an emotional challenge. 375 00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:18.160 I will tell you, Sam and Cindy. I will tell 376 00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:22.119 you that I deal with obsessive compulsive disorder, I deal 377 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:26.960 with hypochondriasis, and I deal with general life anxiety. These 378 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:31.559 have been my challenges, Doc. What's hypo an absolute a 379 00:20:31.640 --> 00:20:37.240 hypochondriasis an absolute and unreasonable fear of getting illness, Like 380 00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:41.119 I have a hangnail on my you know, off my finger, 381 00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:44.240 and then I shake someone's hands and I'm afraid maybe 382 00:20:44.279 --> 00:20:47.200 they had a hangnail and maybe a germ from their 383 00:20:47.240 --> 00:20:59.359 hangnail got on my hangnail. Sounds crazy. You know these things, hi, hypochondriac, hypochondria, hypochondriac. 384 00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:02.319 You know they're just alterations on the same term. 385 00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:06.680 Okay, Yeah, Now I think with pan. 386 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:09.519 Attack, I think I think we all have challenges. I 387 00:21:09.559 --> 00:21:10.039 really do. 388 00:21:10.519 --> 00:21:13.359 I think with panic attacks, if you just said of me, 389 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:15.839 if I just said one time in the middle when 390 00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:19.240 they start, God take me, you want me, I'm all yours, 391 00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:23.119 I don't think another one would hit my body because 392 00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:24.680 when it comes, I think I'm dying and I don't 393 00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:28.319 want to die, so I can't say it. No, I 394 00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:30.880 have to. Literally, if I could just say that once 395 00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:34.359 to myself, Okay, I'm all yours, I'm all yours. I'm 396 00:21:34.359 --> 00:21:38.000 going down. It comes the big one. I'm going down. Okay, Edith, 397 00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:43.119 I'm Colm whatever what was his name from? Uh, I'm coming. 398 00:21:43.519 --> 00:21:45.720 So if I could just say that once and probably 399 00:21:45.799 --> 00:21:48.640 laugh at myself and say, Okay, God take me, I'm dying, 400 00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:52.480 that's it. But the fear of dying is what causes 401 00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:56.480