WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>The Chicago Motor Club presents the Wayside Theater. Happy New Year,

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<v Speaker 1>ladies and gentlemen, and the prosperous one.

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<v Speaker 2>Right now is.

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<v Speaker 1>The time to consider what an important factor the Chicago

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<v Speaker 1>Your Motor Club may be in contributing to your personal

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<v Speaker 1>happiness during nineteen thirty nine. To begin with, the club's

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<v Speaker 1>Wayside Theater has planned a schedule of more interesting, dramatic

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<v Speaker 1>entertainment than ever. But most important of all is the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that the club's many services and benefits may easily

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<v Speaker 1>be your nineteen thirty nine assurance of maximum motoring satisfaction.

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<v Speaker 1>The club's radio offerings are yours for the turn of

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<v Speaker 1>a dial. The club's services and benefits may also be yours.

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<v Speaker 1>Simply quickly economically start this new year right by taking

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<v Speaker 1>your first important step in the direction of no more

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<v Speaker 1>motoring worries. Put in your request tonight for the club's

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<v Speaker 1>free booklet explaining why member families spend less to own

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<v Speaker 1>and drive their cars. Just send your name and address

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<v Speaker 1>to the Chicago Motor Club, Chicago or its nearest branch office,

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<v Speaker 1>or call Franklin one eight one eighth The Chicago Motor

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<v Speaker 1>Glove Waistside Theater ushers in the new year with a

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<v Speaker 1>timely presentation of the Adventure of the Absent Minded Professor,

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<v Speaker 1>written especially for this program.

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<v Speaker 2>By Addison Simmons.

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<v Speaker 1>Ladies and gentlemen, The first act curtain rises on the

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<v Speaker 1>Adventure of the absent Minded Professor.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, Peggy, yes, John, take a letter.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh John, look at you.

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<v Speaker 2>What are you laughing at?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh you're telling your hats on backwards. You look like

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<v Speaker 3>a fireman.

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<v Speaker 2>Why don't be foolish. I haven't got my hat on.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh but you have.

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<v Speaker 2>But I've been in class all after Oh what happens?

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<v Speaker 1>I have got it on, darling. So that's why the

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<v Speaker 1>class laughed. Oh well, never mind, take a letter, Peggy,

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<v Speaker 1>ready in waiting, dear mister. Uh uh, who's our writing to?

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<v Speaker 3>You haven't said yet?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh it's funny. Well let's see what was I going

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<v Speaker 2>to write about.

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<v Speaker 3>You didn't say that either.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh well, I'll think of it sooner or later. I

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<v Speaker 1>have lots of other things to do.

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<v Speaker 4>I suppose you certainly have Look at your desk, Look

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<v Speaker 4>at that pile of paper.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh well, I'll dig right into him.

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<v Speaker 2>Get him.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, Peggy, yes, John, Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>Peggy, isn't there something you were supposed to remind me

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<v Speaker 1>of today. No, something important, Peggy.

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing I haven't reminded you of already.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, that's peculiar.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh well it'll come, it'll come, I'll where'd those flowers

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<v Speaker 1>come from, Peggy?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh the man in the moon.

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<v Speaker 2>Peggy, Where did you get those flowers?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you in? You send them to me?

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<v Speaker 2>I sent them?

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<v Speaker 1>But oh, good heaven, so I did. Oh you know

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<v Speaker 1>I've been so busy I forgot. Yes, Oh, well, busy

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<v Speaker 1>men can't remember everything.

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<v Speaker 3>No, dear, I guess they can't.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh these papers, now, let me see to.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh, Peggy, Peggy, I forgot to say. I just put

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<v Speaker 1>on my experiment for the new explosive.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, John, and I want it to remain.

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<v Speaker 1>Just as it is until five o'clock and at five o'clock.

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to remind me to take it off

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<v Speaker 1>at five o'clock, yes, dear, And we mustn't forget if

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<v Speaker 1>we do at midnight, it'll blow this chemistry building the kingdom.

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<v Speaker 2>Come.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, but John, you said I could get off early

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<v Speaker 4>and go shopping.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh did I? Why so? I did? Well? You just

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<v Speaker 2>go right ahead, go on there anytime at all? Was

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<v Speaker 2>all right?

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<v Speaker 3>What about the explosives.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that's all right, I'll remember it.

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<v Speaker 3>That's just the trouble you won't.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, Peggy. Tell me did I ever forget anything really important?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>No, darling? Well now did I skip it? There?

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<v Speaker 3>Look, I'll write your note, great big one here?

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<v Speaker 4>Now turn off experiment five o'clock.

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<v Speaker 3>There, Now you can't miss that?

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<v Speaker 1>Fine, put it right here. Suppose I put my hat

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<v Speaker 1>on it, and then I can't miss it? Say where

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<v Speaker 1>is my hat still.

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<v Speaker 3>On your head? Done?

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<v Speaker 5>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, so it is? Well all right, here we are

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<v Speaker 2>the note, the hat, I pick up the hat. I

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<v Speaker 2>see the note. I can't miss that. Can I just

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<v Speaker 2>be sure you don't die?

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<v Speaker 5>No?

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<v Speaker 1>I won't know, Peggy, there is something I've forgotten for today.

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<v Speaker 2>If I could only be.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure it's nothing you've asked me to remind you about, dear.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh well, I suppose it wasn't important anyway. Well, now

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<v Speaker 1>you run along, get your shopping done.

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<v Speaker 3>Go ahead, thanks, darling, you're a sweet boss.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't forget your hat.

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<v Speaker 3>I won't buy sweet kiss Peggy.

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<v Speaker 4>There, Well, doululu, dear, I'll see you later.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yes, of course, goodbye.

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<v Speaker 1>M m.

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<v Speaker 5>M m.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh h.

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<v Speaker 1>Professor mcandire, Professor Parker's come in, sit down.

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<v Speaker 2>What's on your mind?

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<v Speaker 1>Sam, John, I want you to help me out. I certainly, Sam.

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<v Speaker 1>What can I do? I'm in a fixed John.

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<v Speaker 6>I was supposed to give a lecture down at Gardenville tonight,

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<v Speaker 6>and now I can't go.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh why what's happened?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, Plexy called a meeting of the finance committee, and

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<v Speaker 6>I can't get away. The old college is pretty hard up, John.

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<v Speaker 6>We've gotta think of ways and means. Yes, I know, Sam, Yes,

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<v Speaker 6>what do you say?

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<v Speaker 2>John? Will you go down there and give my lecture

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<v Speaker 2>for me? William? Well? Sam, after all, I.

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<v Speaker 6>Know it's nothing much, John, A little talk on the

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<v Speaker 6>art of human companionship. You know we talked about it

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<v Speaker 6>last week. Oh, yes, Sam, I remember, Will you do it?

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<v Speaker 6>What do you say?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course?

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<v Speaker 1>Certainly, certainly, Sam, I'll go. Thanks John. That takes a

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<v Speaker 1>load off my mind. Oh, don't even think of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Sam.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, do you know of anything especially important

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<v Speaker 1>I had on the schedule for today?

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<v Speaker 2>Did I mention anything to you? Not to me? No?

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<v Speaker 1>No, that is funny. I'd swear there was something. You'll

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<v Speaker 1>remember it tomorrow. Look, John, you will have to start

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<v Speaker 1>right now. You're going down the Gardenville. I don't like

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<v Speaker 1>to rush you, but it's a long way. Well that's

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<v Speaker 1>all right, Sam, I can start now, fine, and thanks again, John,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh forget it. Come on now, let's get out of here.

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<v Speaker 2>All right. Oh hey, hey, wait a minute. Don't you

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<v Speaker 2>want your hat? My hat? Oh yeah, sure, yes of course. Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>Now where is it? Here you are? Thanks? All right,

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<v Speaker 2>let's go. Come on.

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<v Speaker 1>You got your car, yes, that's right outside. Come on, Sam,

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<v Speaker 1>let me lock up here, go ahead. Here we are,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm off to Gardenville. Well see you tomorrow morning, Sam.

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<v Speaker 2>All right John.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, Sam, I'd feel a little more comfortable

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<v Speaker 1>if I could only think what it is I've forgotten.

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<v Speaker 2>And soul.

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<v Speaker 7>Ladies and gentlemen, we are fortunate in having with us

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<v Speaker 7>tonight as substitute speaker, Professor mcintie.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Thank you, missus Chaman.

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<v Speaker 1>Ladies and gentlemen, My friend's human companionship is the.

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<v Speaker 2>Very foundation of our society.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to consider first man's fundamental device for companionship

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<v Speaker 1>the institution of marriage. Now this, this institution of marriage is.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me see go on, professor, go ahead, Oh yes, yes, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>of course. The institution of marriage is one on which

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<v Speaker 2>we build.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh see now the institution of marriage?

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<v Speaker 2>Marriage? What's the matter, professor?

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<v Speaker 5>And what you talk was?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Forgive me, please, ladies and gentlemen, little something on my mind.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been bothering me, bother me to professor. Yes, good point,

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<v Speaker 2>that well taken.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, not proceed, Let us consider the wedding ceremony.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, the wedding ceremony. It's the wedding, that's it. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>what's the matter? Little wedding ceremony gets you? Don Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>that's it. Oh this is terrible. How could I? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it? Professor? What's the trouble?

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<v Speaker 1>Mister chairman? This is awful? What I'd forgotten? It's come

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<v Speaker 1>to me. Oh what am I going to do?

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<v Speaker 2>Professor? Please? What is it? Mister chairman? I just remembered

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<v Speaker 2>I'm supposed to get married tonight. Well I havenake.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm supposed to get married to my secretary, and I

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<v Speaker 1>came here and forgot all about it. Mister chairman. I've

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<v Speaker 1>got to leave, but Professor, I can't help it. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't stay.

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<v Speaker 2>What'll we tell all these people? Tell them? I'll tell

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<v Speaker 2>them the truth?

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<v Speaker 1>And how ladies, ladies and gentlemen, you have to excuse me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm terribly sorry, but I've got to leave.

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<v Speaker 5>Gone to a wedding professor. Yes, yes, my own wedding.

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<v Speaker 5>You see, I came away and forgot all about it.

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<v Speaker 5>So will you please please excuse me because I've got

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<v Speaker 5>to be there.

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<v Speaker 1>The first act of the adventure of the absent minded

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<v Speaker 1>Professor comes to a club. Do you know that it's

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<v Speaker 1>possible to save as much as twenty five dollars on

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<v Speaker 1>the financing of a new car? That's exactly what many

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<v Speaker 1>members of the Chicago Motor Club have done through the

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<v Speaker 1>club's Automobile Service. The club's courteous, painstaking arrangements and vast

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<v Speaker 1>experience have made it possible for many members to obtain

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<v Speaker 1>a generous saving on the financing of their cars, and

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<v Speaker 1>that goes for used cars as well as new ones.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're planning on buying an automobile, make this New

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<v Speaker 1>year's resolution right now. Consult the Chicago Motor Club's Automobile

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<v Speaker 1>Finance Service at your earliest opportunity. You'll acquaint yourself with

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<v Speaker 1>one of the many reasons why club members spend less

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<v Speaker 1>to own and drive their cars. And, by the way, friends,

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<v Speaker 1>those money saving reasons twenty six of them are all

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<v Speaker 1>explained in a valuable free booklet, yours.

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<v Speaker 2>Merely for the asking.

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<v Speaker 1>Just send your name and address to the Chicago Motor Club,

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<v Speaker 1>Chicago or its nearest branch office, or call Franklin.

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<v Speaker 2>One eight one eight this very evening.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, just in case you've resolved that during nineteen thirty

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<v Speaker 1>nine you're never going to put off till tomorrow what

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<v Speaker 1>you know very well you should do to day, we're

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<v Speaker 1>going to present an unusual idea to assist you in

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<v Speaker 1>keeping that splendid resolution. Between the second and third acts

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<v Speaker 1>of tonight's play, we're going to eliminate our regular announcement.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll not say a word about the club services. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>present at that time a musical intermission, giving you ample

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<v Speaker 1>time to do to day what you might be delayed

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<v Speaker 1>doing till tomorrow, and that's writing the club or calling

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<v Speaker 1>Franklin one eight one eight and requesting your free booklet.

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<v Speaker 1>You won't miss any of the play, because the third

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<v Speaker 1>act won't start until you've had plenty of time him

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<v Speaker 1>to write or phone the club. And now, ladies and gentlemen,

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<v Speaker 1>the second act curtain rises on the adventure of the

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<v Speaker 1>absent minded professor.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, hey, over, let me see your driver's license. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>what's the matter, officer? What was I going too fast?

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<v Speaker 2>I said, let me see your license. Well, officer, I

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<v Speaker 2>can explain it. I was on my way to let.

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<v Speaker 3>Me see your license, all right, all right, I have

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<v Speaker 3>it right here.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh well, no, what's the matter? And she got it?

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<v Speaker 2>I had it? I had it right my wallet. I

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<v Speaker 2>must have left my wallet at home. Eh, that's what

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<v Speaker 2>I thought. A smart guy. You must be professor or something.

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<v Speaker 2>Certainly I'm a professor.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, and I'm heady, leamar, what you're doing with this

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<v Speaker 8>stolen car?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you mean? I mean, this is a stolen car? Now?

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<v Speaker 2>What have you got to say? Say?

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<v Speaker 1>I won't stand for this. I don't like what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like your attitude, and I don't like your

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<v Speaker 1>tone of voice.

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<v Speaker 8>Or don't you now? Well, maybe you like the chief's

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<v Speaker 8>tone of voice. He took singing lessons. Get going, mister professor,

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<v Speaker 8>and don't forget him right behind you.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, you listen to me, chief, You can't hold me here.

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<v Speaker 7>Now hold on, professor. Well, yeah, you see, I take

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<v Speaker 7>your word and call your professor. I am a professor.

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<v Speaker 8>Like I am, he's a professor. Professors don't steal cars.

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<v Speaker 1>I did not steal that car. I took it by mistake.

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<v Speaker 1>All those cars look alike, and you know it. Key

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00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:22.600
<v Speaker 1>was in the ignition. I just got in and drove off. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>of course, you just got in and drove off.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, you've got to let me go. I tell you,

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<v Speaker 2>I've got to.

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<v Speaker 7>I know, I know, I know all about it. You've

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<v Speaker 7>got to go somewhere and get married because you forgot

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<v Speaker 7>about it before. Yes, Now I ask you, professor, how

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<v Speaker 7>could a man forget about his own wedding?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, it happens that I didn't. Well, it don't make sense. Now,

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<v Speaker 6>why would this good friend of yours, this Professor Marcus Barcas, Now,

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<v Speaker 6>why would he send you an a lecture the night

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<v Speaker 6>you're going to get married.

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<v Speaker 1>Well he didn't know. Nobody knew. We were keeping the

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<v Speaker 1>marriage secret till college was over.

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<v Speaker 7>All right, we'll soon find out. And I've sent for

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<v Speaker 7>the girl. I've sent for Professor Marcus Pear Barkers. And

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<v Speaker 7>as soon as they identify him always.

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<v Speaker 2>Doing well, why don't they come? Oh no, be patient,

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<v Speaker 2>just a little old murpher lot and watch form withy.

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<v Speaker 7>Yes, sir, oh awful, late eleven fifteen, eleven fifteen.

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<v Speaker 2>There's something I'm supposed to do with the time, now

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<v Speaker 2>what now?

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<v Speaker 7>I wouldn't bother thinking, professor thinking only tires the head?

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<v Speaker 2>Will you be quiet? Something to do with the time? No, cheap?

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<v Speaker 2>Here they are? No?

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<v Speaker 8>Okay, murph sentermen right, step this way, please, here we are.

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<v Speaker 2>Chief. It's Peggy Smith and Professor Barkers. Yeah, hello, folks,

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<v Speaker 2>come right. Hey, oh Sam, I'm so glad you've come.

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<v Speaker 4>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>Will you please tell these confounded in.

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<v Speaker 7>Just a minute now, Professor mar Barker, say, do you

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<v Speaker 7>know this man?

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<v Speaker 2>This fellow? No? I never saw him in my life? Sam, Sam?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you saying? I'm sorry, I don't know him, Jeeves, Sam,

284
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<v Speaker 2>are you crazy?

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<v Speaker 7>Young lady? How about you? Do you know him?

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<v Speaker 3>Why?

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<v Speaker 1>No?

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<v Speaker 3>I never saw him before?

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<v Speaker 2>Pretty? What are you trying to do? Now? You ought

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<v Speaker 2>to be ashamed of yourself. I don't like the Smith.

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<v Speaker 2>I ought to turn you over my knee.

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<v Speaker 3>Chief, come over and see us sometime. Come over for tea,

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<v Speaker 3>age Smith.

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<v Speaker 7>You'll regret thistoke. Thank you, Miss Smith. Yes, I'll begad

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<v Speaker 7>to comfort tea.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, good night now, Jeef right now, young fella, I

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<v Speaker 2>want you to sit there and think real hard. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>what's your right name? Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Confound you, I said, I'm Professor McIntyre, and I am

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<v Speaker 1>Professor McIntyre, and I wish you'd.

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<v Speaker 2>Go away, your confounded idiot. Oh so I'm the yes,

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<v Speaker 2>Now go away and let me alone.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying remember something I've forgot, all right, all right now,

304
00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:08.359
<v Speaker 1>now try to remember this now.

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<v Speaker 2>Now watch your right name, you fool. All right, you

306
00:18:16.119 --> 00:18:20.200
<v Speaker 2>can have it. I'll tell you my right name. I

307
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:24.160
<v Speaker 2>am the Caleph of bagh Dad. See. Well, well, no,

308
00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:25.759
<v Speaker 2>that's more like it.

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<v Speaker 7>Hey, Murph, Murph calling out house and ask him if

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<v Speaker 7>they're missing the Caleb.

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<v Speaker 2>Of bag Dad. I think we got something here. Ok.

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00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:41.160
<v Speaker 1>So you think I'm crazy, don't you. Well I'll show

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<v Speaker 1>you who's crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, no, it's all right, professor. Just take it easy.

315
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<v Speaker 2>You know what we're all the we might crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>I demand to be taken to the college. I want

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00:18:50.599 --> 00:18:52.279
<v Speaker 1>to see President Jones right now.

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<v Speaker 2>You hear me? Right now?

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<v Speaker 7>Are you sure Jonesy isn't one of the boys and

320
00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:58.880
<v Speaker 7>not hope that is an insult.

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<v Speaker 2>I demand to be taken to the college at once. Well,

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00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:02.279
<v Speaker 2>now I'll tell you.

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<v Speaker 7>We'll take a little ride up to the nuthouse, and

324
00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:07.279
<v Speaker 7>on the way by we'll.

325
00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:09.000
<v Speaker 2>Stop in and say hello to the president.

326
00:19:09.319 --> 00:19:10.319
<v Speaker 7>No, I was that.

327
00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:13.720
<v Speaker 2>I was never so insulted in all my life. No, no, no,

328
00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:19.279
<v Speaker 2>don't be touchy. And let's see it's eleven thirty. Eleven thirty. Oh,

329
00:19:19.319 --> 00:19:24.039
<v Speaker 2>why can't I think? Hey, you know, Professor I had

330
00:19:24.039 --> 00:19:26.759
<v Speaker 2>another chap like you. Onesay. He was one of those

331
00:19:26.759 --> 00:19:28.200
<v Speaker 2>willpower fellas. You know.

332
00:19:28.279 --> 00:19:30.119
<v Speaker 7>He could sit down and put his mind to it,

333
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:33.039
<v Speaker 7>good and hard and just blow up the city hall

334
00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:37.440
<v Speaker 7>because it didn't like the mayor. Hey, I don't suppose

335
00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:39.279
<v Speaker 7>that you could blow up the college, could you.

336
00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:45.799
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's it, Yes, my experiment, that's what it was.

337
00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:48.079
<v Speaker 1>I've been trying to think. I've been rocking my brain.

338
00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:51.599
<v Speaker 2>That's what it is. For him, say, professor, take a

339
00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:53.680
<v Speaker 2>little joke. I tell you, Chief, this is past the

340
00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:56.400
<v Speaker 2>joking stage. What time is it? Tell me quick, I

341
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:57.319
<v Speaker 2>hold you the time.

342
00:19:57.400 --> 00:20:00.400
<v Speaker 7>It's eleven thirty, chief, No, no, no, no, your head

343
00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:02.119
<v Speaker 7>come on now like a good fella.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, Chief, I've got to get to my laboratory at

345
00:20:04.279 --> 00:20:05.359
<v Speaker 1>once before midnight.

346
00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:06.160
<v Speaker 2>It'll blow up.

347
00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:09.079
<v Speaker 1>Come on, take it easy, old man. Come on, now,

348
00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:10.759
<v Speaker 1>come on, let's go. I tell you I've got to

349
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:13.880
<v Speaker 1>get to that laboratory. Chief please, yes, of course, come along.

350
00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:16.960
<v Speaker 1>Now we'll go for a nice little half hour. Oh,

351
00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:19.480
<v Speaker 1>we get some good fresh air and we'll see the President.

352
00:20:19.559 --> 00:20:22.319
<v Speaker 2>Will you take me to that laboratory? Now? Will you

353
00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:24.480
<v Speaker 2>be a good fella and forget it? Oh?

354
00:20:24.519 --> 00:20:27.799
<v Speaker 1>What's the use? What's the use? I tell you, this

355
00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:31.160
<v Speaker 1>is the end of everything. O. Sure, come on, now,

356
00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:41.240
<v Speaker 1>let's go for that nice ride. The second act curtain

357
00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:44.599
<v Speaker 1>falls on the Wayside Theater production of the Adventure of

358
00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:51.279
<v Speaker 1>the Absent Minded Professor. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we're

359
00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:54.079
<v Speaker 1>going to present a novel idea one that's bound to

360
00:20:54.160 --> 00:20:57.119
<v Speaker 1>interest you because it means money in the pocket of

361
00:20:57.160 --> 00:21:00.400
<v Speaker 1>every motorist. Has Any Chicago Motor Club member will tell

362
00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:03.400
<v Speaker 1>you the club is absolutely certain that you will be

363
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:06.960
<v Speaker 1>interested in the money saving information contained in its free booklet,

364
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:09.759
<v Speaker 1>so certain, in fact, that we're giving you a two

365
00:21:09.799 --> 00:21:12.880
<v Speaker 1>minute musical intermission in which to ask for one and

366
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:16.599
<v Speaker 1>don't forget. This is your immediate opportunity to keep that

367
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:20.599
<v Speaker 1>New year's resolution about never putting things off till tomorrow.

368
00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:24.079
<v Speaker 2>Now, while the orchestra plays. Just pick up the phone.

369
00:21:23.839 --> 00:21:27.079
<v Speaker 1>And call Franklin one eight, one eighth, or take this

370
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:29.079
<v Speaker 1>time to write your name and address on a penny

371
00:21:29.119 --> 00:21:31.839
<v Speaker 1>postcard or a piece of paper and have it already

372
00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:34.640
<v Speaker 1>to mail to the club. Here we go, friends, a

373
00:21:34.759 --> 00:21:38.680
<v Speaker 1>musical intermission, while you call Franklin one eight one eight.

374
00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:39.920
<v Speaker 2>For your free booklet.

375
00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:42.160
<v Speaker 1>And then we'll be all ready for the third act

376
00:21:42.200 --> 00:24:07.880
<v Speaker 1>of the night's play. And now the third act curtain

377
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:11.160
<v Speaker 1>rises on the adventure of the absent minded professor.

378
00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:22.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh please, Chief, please take me to the laboratory. You've

379
00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:26.000
<v Speaker 2>got to believe me. Now, we're going to no labor Chief,

380
00:24:26.039 --> 00:24:28.119
<v Speaker 2>I beg you ash like a good bum.

381
00:24:28.279 --> 00:24:31.559
<v Speaker 7>But now look, if you behave yourself, we let you

382
00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:34.039
<v Speaker 7>blow up two laboratories tomorrow.

383
00:24:34.440 --> 00:24:36.839
<v Speaker 1>That's all right, you win. It's out of my hands.

384
00:24:36.839 --> 00:24:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Now I'm through. That's the way to talk, you idiots.

385
00:24:40.119 --> 00:24:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Look at the time. Five minutes of twelve, five minutes

386
00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:46.839
<v Speaker 2>of twelve. Oh there's the house, chief, camera pull up.

387
00:24:47.960 --> 00:24:51.519
<v Speaker 7>Yeah right, yeah, I'm on, professor.

388
00:24:51.599 --> 00:25:01.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh you colossal comas it? Okay, ring the bellmark. We'll

389
00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:03.440
<v Speaker 2>find out. You'll find out, all right, you will find

390
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:04.400
<v Speaker 2>out plenty.

391
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:10.079
<v Speaker 7>He does it old man. Oh good evening, sir. Well

392
00:25:10.519 --> 00:25:13.039
<v Speaker 7>what do you want, President Jones? Listen the quiet you,

393
00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:15.400
<v Speaker 7>President Jones. And now I came here?

394
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:18.359
<v Speaker 2>Well, who are you? Come out of the dock. I

395
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:19.880
<v Speaker 2>can't see you, mister President.

396
00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:23.079
<v Speaker 7>Stay where you are, mister President said, I'm on my

397
00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:24.759
<v Speaker 7>way to the psychopathic hospital.

398
00:25:24.839 --> 00:25:28.400
<v Speaker 2>That's why you belong? Is that man? I can't see him?

399
00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:30.759
<v Speaker 2>Will you come in? Please? Here's there we are, Professor.

400
00:25:30.920 --> 00:25:35.039
<v Speaker 7>He might be dangerous, sir, of what you bring him

401
00:25:35.079 --> 00:25:37.599
<v Speaker 7>here for? Wells it seems that he's gifted with a

402
00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:40.319
<v Speaker 7>very strange power. You say, he can blow up your

403
00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:43.960
<v Speaker 7>chemistry laboratory, just like just like that. In other words,

404
00:25:43.960 --> 00:25:47.720
<v Speaker 7>he's goofy. But he says he knows you, so I

405
00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:50.440
<v Speaker 7>brought him here just to make sure. Oh why do

406
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.160
<v Speaker 7>you bother me with the nonsense?

407
00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:54.920
<v Speaker 2>What is it, Joe, President Jones, This is no joke.

408
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:59.119
<v Speaker 6>I tell you why why, Professor McIntyre, is that you?

409
00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:03.000
<v Speaker 2>Of course? It is? What? Yes, these boob these fools.

410
00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:07.160
<v Speaker 2>I told them about the laboratory, But what about the laboratory, professor?

411
00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:08.039
<v Speaker 2>What is he?

412
00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:11.240
<v Speaker 1>President Jones? I put on an experiment. I forgot about

413
00:26:11.240 --> 00:26:14.079
<v Speaker 1>it until these fools arrested me. I could have stopped it,

414
00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:16.720
<v Speaker 1>but now it's too late. Boof this is all that.

415
00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:21.359
<v Speaker 7>Now, President, I wouldn't worry even if he is a professor.

416
00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:23.960
<v Speaker 7>I think he's a little touched.

417
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:25.079
<v Speaker 2>Mister President.

418
00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:28.920
<v Speaker 7>Listen to me now, will you, Mister President, he's been

419
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:30.079
<v Speaker 7>acting off for me.

420
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:32.920
<v Speaker 2>He thinks he can work miracles.

421
00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:41.799
<v Speaker 7>Oh no, poor professor Mac, time you toom sure he

422
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:43.680
<v Speaker 7>really thinks he can blow up the building.

423
00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:44.279
<v Speaker 2>Just like that?

424
00:26:44.960 --> 00:26:49.359
<v Speaker 3>Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear the poor dear professor.

425
00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:52.119
<v Speaker 2>Oh you're sorry? Are you? And you think I'm crazy too?

426
00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:55.359
<v Speaker 2>Do you? All right? It's too late to stop it,

427
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:58.000
<v Speaker 2>so you might as well have it on a professor. Please,

428
00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:01.920
<v Speaker 2>you want to see miracles doing? All right? You'll see

429
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:05.359
<v Speaker 2>miracles there. You hear that.

430
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:10.279
<v Speaker 5>There's midnight for you. Go ahead, jeep, snap your fingers.

431
00:27:10.599 --> 00:27:14.400
<v Speaker 5>You'll get your miracle, all right? No, no, just cool off?

432
00:27:14.400 --> 00:27:14.920
<v Speaker 2>Will you go on?

433
00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:15.839
<v Speaker 3>Snap me?

434
00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:19.160
<v Speaker 2>You know you want me snap your stupid fingers? All right?

435
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:24.079
<v Speaker 7>All right, anything to oblige. Ah, here we are, professor

436
00:27:24.200 --> 00:27:25.319
<v Speaker 7>the magic snap?

437
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:32.720
<v Speaker 2>What good? Heavens? The laboratory looks?

438
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:40.119
<v Speaker 8>Look at the building it's gone, Look at glory.

439
00:27:40.559 --> 00:27:42.839
<v Speaker 2>Cheep, Yeah, well, you can all faint.

440
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:44.799
<v Speaker 5>I'm gonna pack my bags and get out of town.

441
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:47.319
<v Speaker 5>I know just how welcome I'll be here now. Good

442
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:47.839
<v Speaker 5>night you.

443
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:52.440
<v Speaker 3>Fools, John, John, this is terrible.

444
00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:54.240
<v Speaker 2>You're experiencing out of my way.

445
00:27:54.359 --> 00:27:56.279
<v Speaker 3>John, I was coming to see the out of my way.

446
00:27:56.359 --> 00:27:58.960
<v Speaker 2>We don't even know each other. Non please listen, No,

447
00:27:59.160 --> 00:27:59.880
<v Speaker 2>let go my coade.

448
00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:07.319
<v Speaker 5>Please wait, John, do you know what's happened, Oh, Professor Barkus, Yes,

449
00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:08.480
<v Speaker 5>I know what's happened.

450
00:28:08.680 --> 00:28:10.559
<v Speaker 2>I blew up the lab with my little experiment.

451
00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:13.720
<v Speaker 5>But John, look here, look John, seas both of you

452
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:15.599
<v Speaker 5>you could have helped me prevent it. But no, no,

453
00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:18.599
<v Speaker 5>you've never seen me before. Let go my arm pain, John, listen,

454
00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:20.400
<v Speaker 5>look John, it's wonderful.

455
00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:22.720
<v Speaker 2>What are you raving about? You half went out of

456
00:28:22.759 --> 00:28:24.920
<v Speaker 2>my way? Can you feel it spray in the wind? What?

457
00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:27.960
<v Speaker 5>Look at my face? Flick at my hands. That black

458
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:31.160
<v Speaker 5>sprays oil. There's a gusher where the lamb was, John,

459
00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:34.359
<v Speaker 5>The spray's in the wind. John, I'll tell you we're rich.

460
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:39.680
<v Speaker 5>The college is rich. We can build twenty laboratories. Oh well, John,

461
00:28:39.799 --> 00:28:41.119
<v Speaker 5>the explosion did it?

462
00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:44.000
<v Speaker 2>It's millions? Is that so? Well?

463
00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:46.160
<v Speaker 5>That still doesn't explain why you two didn't get me

464
00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:49.160
<v Speaker 5>out of that police station, John, John, don't quibble over trifles.

465
00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:51.200
<v Speaker 5>You had to be punished for running away from that lecture.

466
00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:53.440
<v Speaker 2>But think of it. We've struck oil.

467
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:58.319
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna go for resident. We're rich, We're rich rich.

468
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:04.960
<v Speaker 2>Wake up, chief, we got another customer.

469
00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:09.839
<v Speaker 1>Well i'll be John. Well, what about you? What was

470
00:29:09.880 --> 00:29:11.920
<v Speaker 1>your reason for not knowing me? Did you have a lecture?

471
00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:14.200
<v Speaker 2>I ran out on? No? Jack? Well, and what was it?

472
00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:16.519
<v Speaker 2>What did you have against me? So suddenly are you

473
00:29:16.720 --> 00:29:19.480
<v Speaker 2>poor darling? Don't you really know wits? Darling? What was

474
00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:20.039
<v Speaker 2>the idea?

475
00:29:20.200 --> 00:29:20.359
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

476
00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:22.480
<v Speaker 3>I don't wonder, John, there's been so much excitement.

477
00:29:22.519 --> 00:29:25.799
<v Speaker 4>But have you really forgotten that you forgot to come

478
00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:26.720
<v Speaker 4>and get married?

479
00:29:27.799 --> 00:29:28.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

480
00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:31.960
<v Speaker 1>My had of course, of course, that's why you didn't

481
00:29:31.960 --> 00:29:34.319
<v Speaker 1>know me. Oh, Peggy, I hadn't coming to me for that.

482
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:36.000
<v Speaker 1>We'll get married first thing in the morning.

483
00:29:36.119 --> 00:29:37.920
<v Speaker 3>Oh no, darling, not a chance.

484
00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:38.559
<v Speaker 2>In the world, Peggy.

485
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:42.279
<v Speaker 4>Please, we'll get married right now, Dear, before you forget

486
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:53.039
<v Speaker 4>it again, mister Congo.

487
00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:56.039
<v Speaker 1>Motor Clubs Wayside Theater production of the Adventure of the

488
00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Absent Minded Professor comes.

489
00:29:58.200 --> 00:29:58.799
<v Speaker 2>To a close.

490
00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:03.359
<v Speaker 1>It's been a most pleasant starting the new year with you,

491
00:30:03.480 --> 00:30:06.359
<v Speaker 1>ladies and gentlemen, and the Chicago Motor Club's hopes that

492
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:09.200
<v Speaker 1>we have contributed to your enjoyment of the first day

493
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:10.440
<v Speaker 1>in nineteen thirty nine.

494
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:12.039
<v Speaker 2>But why stop there.

495
00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:15.240
<v Speaker 1>For over thirty two years, the Club has contributed to

496
00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:19.079
<v Speaker 1>the well being and happiness of thousands of motorists every

497
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:19.640
<v Speaker 1>hour of.

498
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:21.759
<v Speaker 2>The day, every day of the year.

499
00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:24.480
<v Speaker 1>If I could make a New Year's wish come true,

500
00:30:24.519 --> 00:30:27.680
<v Speaker 1>it would be this, that every motorist might enjoy the

501
00:30:27.720 --> 00:30:31.400
<v Speaker 1>difference between being a Chicago Motor Club member and just

502
00:30:31.559 --> 00:30:34.599
<v Speaker 1>being the owner and driver of a car. There's a

503
00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:37.920
<v Speaker 1>world of difference, friends, and it's to your distinct advantage

504
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:41.279
<v Speaker 1>to find out what that difference is. Why don't you

505
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:44.680
<v Speaker 1>request the Club's free booklet this very evening. Just send

506
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:47.799
<v Speaker 1>your name and address to the Chicago Motor Club, Chicago

507
00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:50.240
<v Speaker 1>or its nearest branch office or.

508
00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:53.200
<v Speaker 2>Call Franklin one eight one eighth right now.

509
00:30:54.559 --> 00:30:57.640
<v Speaker 1>Be sure enjoining the Wayside Theater radio audience again next

510
00:30:57.640 --> 00:31:01.279
<v Speaker 1>week at this same hour, And remember the Chicago Motor

511
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:04.400
<v Speaker 1>Club's weekly broadcast of the Parker Family is at six

512
00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:07.319
<v Speaker 1>point thirty tomorrow evening over this same station.

513
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:39.599
<v Speaker 2>In the cast of tonight's play.

514
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:42.440
<v Speaker 1>You've heard our popular stars Olin Soulay and the part

515
00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:45.839
<v Speaker 1>of John and Patricia Dunlapp playing Peggy. They were supported

516
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:50.319
<v Speaker 1>by Bill Bouchet, Herb Butterfield, Frank Dane and Rhys Taylor.

517
00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:54.599
<v Speaker 1>This is Burnsmith speaking for the Chicago Motor Club and

518
00:31:54.720 --> 00:31:57.720
<v Speaker 1>wishing you a happy and prosperous New Year.

519
00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:10.599
<v Speaker 2>This is the Wbbmare to get her Wrigley Building, Chicago,