Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, Welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope. This is
Speaker 1: the Bible teaching ministry of Rick Warren. Hey, We're so
Speaker 1: glad you're here with us today. We are continuing in
Speaker 1: a series called Talking about Stuff That Matters Now. In
Speaker 1: this series, Rick looks into the scriptures and he's unpacking
Speaker 1: what it means to live in community, have real conversation
Speaker 1: about what matters most, and face discouragement with courage and faith.
Speaker 1: It's honest, hopeful. So stay tuned. You won't want to
Speaker 1: miss a second. And now here's part one of a
Speaker 1: message called forming healthy Friendships.
Speaker 2: You know, in spite of the fact that today the
Speaker 2: world is more connected by technology than ever before, we
Speaker 2: are far more connected than previous generations, there is an
Speaker 2: epidemic of loneliness in our world. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you've been reading about it' sean. I probably read twenty
Speaker 2: thirty forty articles this week on the epidemic of loneliness
Speaker 2: all around the world. The fact that over half of America,
Speaker 2: in poll after pol has said I'm lonely. And these
Speaker 2: are at every age and stage of life. Little children say,
Speaker 2: great school kids say, I'm lonely, teenagers say, I'm lonely.
Speaker 2: Young adult SAM lonely, middle aged married couple say I'm lonely.
Speaker 2: Elderly people SAM lonely. Over half of Americans at every
Speaker 2: single stage and age of life, say I'm lonely. That's
Speaker 2: an epidemic. We've never had those numbers ever in the
Speaker 2: history of the United States of America. It's worse than
Speaker 2: some other countries. In Britain, the number of British citizens
Speaker 2: who say I'm lonely has now risen to sixty eight percent.
Speaker 2: It's such an epidemic that the Prime Minister of England
Speaker 2: last year appointed a new cabinet officer called the Minister
Speaker 2: of Loneliness. I'm not making this up. They have a
Speaker 2: cabinet Minister for loneliness because sixty eight percent of the
Speaker 2: Brits say I'm lonely, and we find this in country
Speaker 2: after country after country. I was talking to our high
Speaker 2: school pastor Jason this week. He told me he was
Speaker 2: recently at a high school a student camp, and they
Speaker 2: asked kids who were lonely to stand up, maybe a
Speaker 2: thousand kids at this camp, and he said about eighty
Speaker 2: percent of the kids stood up, saying I experience loneliness.
Speaker 2: On a regular basis. Part of it is social media itself.
Speaker 2: Rather than going out on a Saturday night, you stay
Speaker 2: home and you look at your your screen on what
Speaker 2: everybody else is doing, and you talk about it, and
Speaker 2: there's this fear of missing out fomo, fear of missing out.
Speaker 2: That's a plaguing generation Z, which is the first generation
Speaker 2: to actually grow up without having screens, you know, phones
Speaker 2: all of the time. Now, the Bible has a lot
Speaker 2: to say about loneliness. In fact, it starts in the
Speaker 2: first couple chapters when God says it is not good
Speaker 2: for man to be alone. So the first thing God
Speaker 2: said was not good about the earth. God hates loneliness, loneliness.
Speaker 2: If you have loneliness in your life, that is not
Speaker 2: part of God's plan for your life. We were made
Speaker 2: in the image of God, which means we're relational. And
Speaker 2: because we're relational, human beings are social creatures. We're made
Speaker 2: to be together. We're better together. We're not made to
Speaker 2: be solitary. And so the Bible has a lot to say.
Speaker 2: I went through all of the scriptures this week that
Speaker 2: deal with loneliness, with friendship, friendliness. There are literally hundreds
Speaker 2: and hundreds and hundreds of verses in the Bible about
Speaker 2: the importance of you having friends. You need them not
Speaker 2: just for your happiness, you need them for your health.
Speaker 2: Studies have shown that the fewer friends you have, the
Speaker 2: sooner you're more likely to die. That it is unhealthy
Speaker 2: for you to not have healthy friendships in your life.
Speaker 2: So God made us for relationships, and we're going to
Speaker 2: look today this weekend at a ton, literally a ton
Speaker 2: of Bible verses on how to form healthy relationships. Now,
Speaker 2: there are a lot of different kinds of friendships, but
Speaker 2: specifically I would categorize a couple being close friendships and
Speaker 2: casual friendships. If you want to write this on your outline,
Speaker 2: casual friends, Okay, casual friends in your life may be
Speaker 2: the result of my circumstances when I have you know,
Speaker 2: meet people at work, or I meet people at school,
Speaker 2: or I meet people in a neighborhood, or I meet
Speaker 2: people you know in some sports, you know, kids in soccer,
Speaker 2: what like that. Those are typically casual relationships because they're
Speaker 2: just people that you happen to bump been to, you
Speaker 2: run into. Those are the casual relationships that come as
Speaker 2: a result of circumstances. But your closest friends should not
Speaker 2: be the result of circumstance. They should be the result
Speaker 2: of choices, my choices, not my circumstances, but my choices.
Speaker 2: Your close friends should not be accidental. You should choose
Speaker 2: them wisely, because you can't be close to everybody. Now.
Speaker 2: The fact is, the closer I am to people in
Speaker 2: my life, and the closer people are to me in
Speaker 2: my life, the greater the impact. The greater the influence
Speaker 2: they're going to have on my life. The people who
Speaker 2: are closest to you are obviously going to influence your
Speaker 2: life a whole lot more than the people who are
Speaker 2: simply casual acquaintances. Now, if that's true, and the people
Speaker 2: who are closest to you better be influencing you for
Speaker 2: good and for God, because it's dangerous. So I should
Speaker 2: choose my closest friends wisely. Now, the Bible has a
Speaker 2: lot to say about this. There on your outline, I
Speaker 2: just put one verse Proverbs chapter twelve, verse twenty six
Speaker 2: says this, A righteous person is cautious in friendship. I mean,
Speaker 2: you're choosy, you're selective. You don't just arbitraries. Anybody can
Speaker 2: be close to me. A righteous person is cautious in
Speaker 2: friendship because the ways of evil people can lead them
Speaker 2: to do wrong. Now, what I want us to look
Speaker 2: at this weekend is forming healthy relationships. And I want
Speaker 2: us to do a couple of things. I want us
Speaker 2: to look at the kind of people you should not choose,
Speaker 2: because the Bible has a lot to say about that
Speaker 2: kind of people should not be your closest friends. And
Speaker 2: then look at the kind of qualities you should look
Speaker 2: for in your closest friends. And then I want to
Speaker 2: give you some building blocks, the eight or zero building
Speaker 2: blocks of how do you build healthy, lifelong friendship satisfying
Speaker 2: friendships in life. Now assisting me is going to be
Speaker 2: Pastor Kurt Johnston. And Kurt talk about four different circles.
Speaker 2: He says, you know, on the outer circle, or your
Speaker 2: casual friends, there's a that's your biggest circle, so there's
Speaker 2: room for a lot of them. Now, you don't spend
Speaker 2: a lot of time with these people, but they're your
Speaker 2: casual friends. But you don't see him that much, so
Speaker 2: there's a limited influence you on them and them on
Speaker 2: you a little bit. In in the next circle, in
Speaker 2: is what he calls your close friends, and there's not
Speaker 2: as much room for as many because you can't be
Speaker 2: a close friend to everybody, and so you don't have
Speaker 2: as many in that circle. But you have more time
Speaker 2: spent together with your close friends, and there is increased
Speaker 2: influence you on them and them on you. But Dinny
Speaker 2: said there's an inner circle that's right around you that
Speaker 2: he calls your core friends. I'd never heard this far,
Speaker 2: but I like this phrase, your core friends. And you
Speaker 2: only have room for a handful of those three, four,
Speaker 2: five or so of your core friends. You get lots
Speaker 2: of time spent together. There's high influence on each other
Speaker 2: out while I like Kurt's circles. This is exactly what
Speaker 2: Jesus did. Jesus loved everybody. He fed the five thousand,
Speaker 2: he trained one hundred and twenty, He discipled twelve, he
Speaker 2: mentored three. I'll say it again, Jesus loved everybody. There
Speaker 2: was nobody Jesus didn't love. He fed the five thousand,
Speaker 2: he trained one hundred and twenty, he discipled twelve, he
Speaker 2: mentored three. Only Peter, James and John got to go
Speaker 2: in the Garden of Casemone. Only Peter, James and John
Speaker 2: got to go up on the Mount of Transfiguration. Only Peter,
Speaker 2: James and John got to see Jesus heal Peter's mother
Speaker 2: in law. Was Jesus playing favorites? Yes he was. He
Speaker 2: was spending the maximum amount of time with those who
Speaker 2: would bear the maximum responsibility. Later in the Book of Galatians,
Speaker 2: Paul says Peter, James and John. He calls them different James,
Speaker 2: but Peter, James, John the pillars of the church. Obviously
Speaker 2: it worked. He invested the maximum time with the people
Speaker 2: who bear the maximum responsibility. He had the greatest impact
Speaker 2: on the people he spent the most time with, and
Speaker 2: they ended up being leaders. So you need to go
Speaker 2: home and make this circle list because some of you
Speaker 2: are stressed out because you have too many vdps and
Speaker 2: you don't have enough VIPs in your life. You know
Speaker 2: the difference. Vps are very inspirational people. VIPs very inspiration.
Speaker 2: Vdps are very draining people. Now, don't look at them.
Speaker 2: Be cool. When you have more vdps, then you have
Speaker 2: VIPs in your life. That's called stress. Friend, when you
Speaker 2: have more draining people in your life, and if the
Speaker 2: draining people are the closest, guess what you're You're out
Speaker 2: of energy. You're out of gas. So while this is
Speaker 2: a message that I want to teach parents how to
Speaker 2: help their kids have healthy relationships, all you big grown
Speaker 2: up kids need this too. And you need to go home,
Speaker 2: and you need to be more intentional about your friendships.
Speaker 2: And you might go home and say who's in my
Speaker 2: casual circle and write their names in, and who's in
Speaker 2: my close circle, and who's in my core? And should
Speaker 2: they be there? Should somebody else be in my core.
Speaker 2: If you'll do this, you will find your fulfillment level
Speaker 2: going up in your stress level going down, because my
Speaker 2: guess is you've probably got too many of the wrong
Speaker 2: people in the wrong circle. So church is going to
Speaker 2: help me with this message. Now, first I want us
Speaker 2: to look at what the Bible says you're not to
Speaker 2: choose as close friends. Who are you to not choose?
Speaker 2: Because the Bible says a righteous person is cautious in
Speaker 2: friendship because they can influence you if they're really close.
Speaker 2: And God says that there's some people that you should avoid.
Speaker 2: Now this is just a partial list. I'm only going
Speaker 2: to give you five or six people. There are others.
Speaker 2: You could go through the Book of Proverbs and get
Speaker 2: all the rest of them. But let me just give
Speaker 2: you five or six people who should not be your
Speaker 2: closest friends according to what God says. Now, before I
Speaker 2: say that, would you agree that the wrong people can
Speaker 2: pull you down? If I'm standing here on this stage
Speaker 2: and you're standing down there, is it easier for me
Speaker 2: to pull you up or for you to pull me down?
Speaker 2: There's no question. Okay, it's the law gravity. It's easier
Speaker 2: for you to pull me down than to pull you up.
Speaker 2: This is why I don't believe in missionary dating. You know, well,
Speaker 2: I'm going to bring him to the Lord through our
Speaker 2: dating life. I'm sure that's what he's thinking, Praise the Lord.
Speaker 2: So have any of you ever seen anybody messed up
Speaker 2: by the wrong friends? Yeah? Yeah, of course you have,
Speaker 2: so I don't have to make this point to you.
Speaker 2: You know, it's true that there's some people you shouldn't
Speaker 2: have as you're close friends. Look up here on the screen.
Speaker 2: Proverbs eighteen twenty four says this, these are friends who
Speaker 2: destroy each other. Have you ever seen a couple of
Speaker 2: friends destroy each other? Yeah? They weren't real friends. They
Speaker 2: were competing with each other, they were fighting with each other,
Speaker 2: they were nagging at each other. They were detrimental to
Speaker 2: each other, they were pulling each other down. Those aren't
Speaker 2: real friends. So let me just give you a partial
Speaker 2: list of five or six kinds of people should not
Speaker 2: be your closest friends. Number one, We're not going to
Speaker 2: spend a lot of time on these because I want
Speaker 2: to get to the positive stuff. Number one. People who
Speaker 2: like to argue. Really, that's what the Bible says. People
Speaker 2: who like to argue should not be your closest friends.
Speaker 2: Have you noticed that some people love conflict. They get
Speaker 2: energized by it. Fighting makes them come alive. It's like
Speaker 2: they're not even alive unless they're in the middle of
Speaker 2: a fight, and they're always against something. There's that kind
Speaker 2: of warrior spirit of They just like to fight. And wherever
Speaker 2: they go they cause conflict. They're irritating, they're agitating. God says,
Speaker 2: you don't hang out with those kind of people. Proverbs
Speaker 2: twenty verse three. Any fool can start arguments. The honorable
Speaker 2: thing is to stay out of them. Circle the words
Speaker 2: stay out. Somebody starts getting in an argument in your office,
Speaker 2: walk away says the wise thing the honorable. The wise
Speaker 2: thing is to stay out of them. Number two. Here's
Speaker 2: another one. This is really gonna be touchy. People who gossip, Well,
Speaker 2: they just went all my friends. You say, you know
Speaker 2: you're thinking that people who gossip. Did you know that
Speaker 2: God hates gossips. He hates gossip. He hates gossiping. He
Speaker 2: says it's detrimental. He says the gossiper is the friend
Speaker 2: to the sabatoo. They sabotage relationships. Gossips are destructive, and
Speaker 2: the Bible judges the sin of gossip very, very harshly.
Speaker 2: What is gossip? All right, let me give you a definition.
Speaker 2: Gossip is sharing information when you're neither part of the
Speaker 2: problem nor part of the solution. Uh oh, sharing damaging
Speaker 2: information when you're neither part of the problem nor part
Speaker 2: of the solution. And for Christians, the worst part is
Speaker 2: when we hide gossip as a prayer request, I'd like
Speaker 2: for you to pray about this. What I heard about
Speaker 2: so and so it's been on my heart to pray
Speaker 2: about this. Well, don't use prayer as an excuse to gossip.
Speaker 2: The Bible says in Proverbs twenty verse nineteen, stay away
Speaker 2: from gossips. They can't keep a secret and they tell everything.
Speaker 2: So stay away from people who like to argue, stay
Speaker 2: away from people who gossip. Number three, you're just stay
Speaker 2: away and not have his closest friends. People who flatter others.
Speaker 2: People who flatter others. Now, what is flattery? Flattery is
Speaker 2: false praise. Flattery is insincere compliments. Flattery is the person
Speaker 2: who kisses up to the boss at work and then
Speaker 2: behind them says the exact opposite about that boss. They schmooze.
Speaker 2: They they you know, they lay it on. They're kissing up.
Speaker 2: They're hypocritically appealing to ego. And when you see people flattering,
Speaker 2: whether it's a girl or a guy on the school
Speaker 2: campus kissing up to the most popular person, or whether
Speaker 2: it's an adult doing it in an office situation or
Speaker 2: a sales situation, the Bible says you need to run
Speaker 2: the opposite way, stay away from flatterers. Proverbs twenty nine,
Speaker 2: verse five says this flattery is a trap. Evil people
Speaker 2: get caught in it, but good people avoid it and
Speaker 2: are free. I don't have time to go into this,
Speaker 2: but the Bible says that people who flatter you actually
Speaker 2: hate you. That flattery is disguised hatred, and they'll say
Speaker 2: one thing to your face. Well, look at these verses.
Speaker 2: You ever met any people like this? Here's a verse
Speaker 2: Proverbs sixty four, verse two. They are friendly to my face,
Speaker 2: but they curse me in their hearts, and they delight
Speaker 2: in telling lies about me. Their entire reality shows built
Speaker 2: on that verse where they say something to your face
Speaker 2: and flatter you, Oh, you look so great. And then
Speaker 2: or here's another one. Look at this verse Psalm one
Speaker 2: O nine, verse five. For being friendly and kind, they
Speaker 2: paid me back with meanness and hatred. Mean girls, mean boys.
Speaker 2: This happens on every campus, but it happens in adulthood.
Speaker 2: The Bible says, stay away from people who flatter you.
Speaker 2: Number four. You should stay away and not have as
Speaker 2: your closest friends people who can't control their temper. The
Speaker 2: Bible has a lot to say about the rajaholic, the rajiaholic.
Speaker 2: Now you could be two different ways to express rage.
Speaker 2: Be a mute and be a martyr, or be a
Speaker 2: manic and be a you know, Mount Vesuvius. Everybody's either
Speaker 2: a skunk or a turtle. And when you get angry,
Speaker 2: turtles pull into a shell and pour me and they
Speaker 2: you know, everybody hates me, nobody loves me. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go eat worms and you have a pity party and
Speaker 2: you invite me myself and eye. Or you can be
Speaker 2: Mount Vesuvius, or you can be a skunk. When a
Speaker 2: skunk is upset, they let everybody know it and they
Speaker 2: stink up the whole place. The Bible says, people who
Speaker 2: can't control their temper they should not be your closest friends. Okay,
Speaker 2: they're hot headed, you know short few that. They they're volatile,
Speaker 2: they're rash, they blow up quickly, they're easily upset. Here's
Speaker 2: what the Bible says, Parbus twenty two, verse twenty four
Speaker 2: and twenty five. Don't make friends with hot tempered people
Speaker 2: with a hot tempered person. Don't associate with anyone easily angered.
Speaker 2: They get ticked off at everything. You have to walk
Speaker 2: on eggshells around them. Or don't associate with those who
Speaker 2: are easily angered, or you'll learn to be like them
Speaker 2: and not able to change. Anger, like a lot of
Speaker 2: other emotions, is contagious. Loneliness is contagious, Depression is contagious.
Speaker 2: A lot of things are could be a lot of
Speaker 2: emotions are contagious. He said. If you hang the people
Speaker 2: you hang out with, that's what you're going to become light.
Speaker 2: Now you say, well, I don't know anybody hot tempered people.
Speaker 2: Are you listening to talk radio because they're all on that.
Speaker 2: Are you watching talk TV? There are some shows you
Speaker 2: if you find your blood pressure rising, you just shouldn't
Speaker 2: listen to. All they're doing is feeding rage inside you.
Speaker 2: Here's one people who steal or shoplift. Now, I don't
Speaker 2: know many adults who know people who are shoplifting, but
Speaker 2: a lot of teenagers know teenagers who are shoplifting. But
Speaker 2: there are people who are stealing their office blind and
Speaker 2: everybody knows it. Thieves, the Bible says, are self centered,
Speaker 2: and if they steal from others, you know what they'll
Speaker 2: steal from you, So you don't want them to be
Speaker 2: your closest friend. People who steal or shoplift, look at
Speaker 2: this verse up here on the screen, Proverbs one, verses
Speaker 2: thirteen to fifteen. This is what they say. They say,
Speaker 2: Come on, let's take all kinds of valuable things. Okay,
Speaker 2: you know all the resources at the office. Let's fill
Speaker 2: our houses with stolen goods. Come join us. We'll share
Speaker 2: the stolen goods. But do not go along with them,
Speaker 2: and don't do not do what they do this is,
Speaker 2: you know, just stay away from most people. Wow.
Speaker 1: Thanks Pastor Rick for such an amazing message today.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Rick says that it's vitally important for children to understand
Speaker 1: that even before the universe was created, God had them
Speaker 1: in mind, and that He has a special plan and
Speaker 1: purpose for their life. That's why Rick created The Purpose
Speaker 1: Driven Life devotional book for Children. This is an inspirational
Speaker 1: resource that uses the principles found in Pastor Rick's life
Speaker 1: changing bestseller, The Purpose Driven Life, but it delivers them
Speaker 1: as one hundred devotions that speak directly to the challenges
Speaker 1: kids face and gives real world applications to help them
Speaker 1: discover their purpose. It's paired with powerful scripture passages and
Speaker 1: engaging illustrations, and young readers will thrive on the biblical
Speaker 1: wisdom that has helped millions of people throughout the world.
Speaker 1: You'll want to get a copy for all of the
Speaker 1: children that God has placed in your life. Kids, grandkids, nieces,
Speaker 1: even kids in the neighborhood. They'll all be blessed by
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Speaker 1: The Purpose Driven Life one hundred illustrated Devotions for Children
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