Speaker 1: This is section thirty five of The Gilded Age. This
Speaker 1: LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,
Speaker 1: A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter thirty five. Laura went downstairs, knocked at the study door,
Speaker 1: and entered, scarcely waiting for the response. Senator Dilworthy was
Speaker 1: alone with an open Bible in his hand upside down.
Speaker 1: Laura smiled and said, forgetting her acquired correctness of speech,
Speaker 1: it is only me ah, come in, sit down, and
Speaker 1: the Senator closed the book and laid it down. I
Speaker 1: wanted to see you time to report progress from the
Speaker 1: Committee of the Whole, and the Senator beamed with his
Speaker 1: own congressional wit. In the Committee of the Whole, things
Speaker 1: are working very well. We have made ever so much
Speaker 1: progress in a week. I believe that you and I
Speaker 1: together could run this government beautifully. Uncle, the Senator beamed again.
Speaker 1: He liked to be called uncle by this beautiful woman.
Speaker 1: Did you see Hopperson last night after the Congressional Print meeting. Yes,
Speaker 1: he came. He's kind of ey. He is one of
Speaker 1: my friends, Laura. He's a fine man, a very fine man.
Speaker 1: I don't know any man in Congress, I'd sooner go
Speaker 1: to for help in any Christian work. What did he say? Oh?
Speaker 1: He beat around a little. He said he should like
Speaker 1: to help the Negro. His heart went out to the
Speaker 1: Negro and all that. Plenty of them say that. But
Speaker 1: he was a little afraid of the Tennessee Land Bill.
Speaker 1: If Senator Dilworthy wasn't in it, he should suspect there
Speaker 1: was a fraud on the government. He said that, did
Speaker 1: he yes? And he said he felt he couldn't vote
Speaker 1: for it. He was shy, not shy, child, cautious. He's
Speaker 1: a very cautious man. I have been with him a
Speaker 1: great deal on conference committees. He wants reasons, good ones.
Speaker 1: Didn't you show him he was in error about the bill?
Speaker 1: I did. I went over the whole thing. I had
Speaker 1: to tell him some of the side arrangements, some of
Speaker 1: the you didn't mention me. Oh no, I told him
Speaker 1: you were daft about the Negro and the philanthropy part
Speaker 1: of it. As you are, daft is a little strong, Laura,
Speaker 1: But you know that I wouldn't touch this bill if
Speaker 1: it were not for the public good and for the
Speaker 1: good of the colored race. Much as I am interested
Speaker 1: in the airs of this property and would like to
Speaker 1: have them succeed. Laura looked a little incredulous, and the
Speaker 1: Senator proceeded, don't misunderstand me. I don't deny that it
Speaker 1: is for the interest of all of us that this
Speaker 1: bill should go through, and it will. I have no
Speaker 1: concealments from you, but I have one principle in my
Speaker 1: public life which I should like you to keep in mind.
Speaker 1: It has always been my guide. I never push a
Speaker 1: private interest if it is not justified and ennobled by
Speaker 1: some larger public good. I doubt if a Christian would
Speaker 1: be justified in working for his own salvation if it
Speaker 1: was not to aid in the salvation of his fellow men.
Speaker 1: The senator spoke with feeling and then added, I hope
Speaker 1: you showed Hopperson that our motives were pure. Yes, and
Speaker 1: he seemed to have a new light on the measure.
Speaker 1: I think he will vote for it. I hope so
Speaker 1: his name will give tone and strength to it. I
Speaker 1: knew you would only have to show him that it
Speaker 1: was just and pure in order to secure his cordial support.
Speaker 1: I think I convinced him. Yes, I am perfectly sure
Speaker 1: he will vote right now. That's good that's good, said
Speaker 1: the Senator, smiling and rubbing his hands. Is there anything more?
Speaker 1: You'll find some changes in that, I guess. Handing the
Speaker 1: Senator a printed list of names, those checked off are
Speaker 1: all right? Ah hum. Running his eye down the list,
Speaker 1: that's encouraging. What is the C before some of the names?
Speaker 1: And the B B? Those are my private marks. That
Speaker 1: C stands for convinced with argument. The B B is
Speaker 1: a general sign for a relative. You see. It stands
Speaker 1: before three of the honorable Committee. I expect to see
Speaker 1: the chairman of the Committee to day, mister Buckstone, so
Speaker 1: you must he ought to be seen without any delay.
Speaker 1: Buckstone is a worldly sort of a fellow, but he
Speaker 1: has charitable impulses. If we secure him, we shall have
Speaker 1: a favorable report by the Committee. And it will be
Speaker 1: a great thing to be able to state that fact
Speaker 1: quietly where it will do good. Oh, I saw Senator Balloon.
Speaker 1: He will help us. I suppose Balloon is a wholehearted fellow.
Speaker 1: I can't help loving that man. For all his drollery
Speaker 1: and waggishness. He puts on an air of levity sometimes,
Speaker 1: But there ain't a man in the Senate knows the
Speaker 1: scripture as he does. He did not make any objections,
Speaker 1: not exactly he said. Shall I tell you what he said,
Speaker 1: asked Laura, glancing furtively at him. Certainly, he said, he
Speaker 1: had no doubt it was a good thing. If Senator
Speaker 1: Dilworthy was in it, it would pay to look into it.
Speaker 1: The Senator laughed, but rather feebly, and said, Balloon is
Speaker 1: always full of his jokes. I explained it to him.
Speaker 1: He said it was all right. He only wanted a
Speaker 1: word with you, continued Laura. He is a handsome old gentleman,
Speaker 1: and he is gallant for an old man, my daughter,
Speaker 1: said the senator, with a grave look. I trust there
Speaker 1: was nothing free in his manner free, repeated Laura, with
Speaker 1: indignation in her face. With me there there, child, I
Speaker 1: meant nothing. Balloon talks a little freely sometimes with men,
Speaker 1: but he is right at heart. His term expires next year,
Speaker 1: and I fear we shall lose him. He seemed to
Speaker 1: be packing the day I was there. His rooms were
Speaker 1: full of dry goods boxes into which his servant was
Speaker 1: crowding all manner of old clothes and stuff. I suppose
Speaker 1: he will paint pub docks on them and frank them home.
Speaker 1: That's good economy, isn't it? Yes? Yes, but child, all
Speaker 1: congress men do that. It may not be st honest.
Speaker 1: Indeed it is not unless he had some public documents
Speaker 1: mixed in with the clothes. Isn't it a funny world?
Speaker 1: Goodbye uncle, I'm going to see that, chairman, and humming
Speaker 1: a cheery opera air. She departed to her room to
Speaker 1: dress for going out. Before she did that, however, she
Speaker 1: took out her note book and was soon deep in
Speaker 1: its contents, marking, dashing, erasing, figuring, and talking to herself free.
Speaker 1: I wonder what Dilworthy does think of me anyway? One
Speaker 1: two eight seventeen twenty one mm takes a heap for
Speaker 1: a majority. Wouldn't Dilworthy open his eyes if he knew
Speaker 1: some of the things Balloon did say to me? There?
Speaker 1: Hopperson's influence ought to count twenty The sanctimonious old curmudgeon
Speaker 1: son in law sinecure in the Negro institution that about
Speaker 1: gages him the three committee men, sons in law. Nothing
Speaker 1: like a son in law here in Washington or a
Speaker 1: brother in law, and everybody has him. Let's see sixty
Speaker 1: one with places twenty five persuaded. It is getting on.
Speaker 1: We'll have two thirds of Congress in time. Dilworthy must
Speaker 1: surely know I understand him, Uncle Dilworthy, Uncle Balloon tells
Speaker 1: very amusing stories when ladies are not present. I should
Speaker 1: think so, hm hm eighty five. There I must find
Speaker 1: that Chairman Queer Buckstone acts seems to be in love.
Speaker 1: I was sure of it. He promised to come here,
Speaker 1: and he hasn't strange, very strange. I must chance to
Speaker 1: meet him. To day, Laura dressed and went out, thinking
Speaker 1: she was perhaps too early for mister Buckstone to come
Speaker 1: from the house, but as he lodged near the book store,
Speaker 1: she would drop him there and keep a look out
Speaker 1: for him. While Laura is on her errand to find
Speaker 1: mister Buckstone, it may not be out of the way
Speaker 1: to remark that she knew quite as much of Washington
Speaker 1: life as Senator Dilworthy gave her credit for, and more
Speaker 1: than she thought proper to tell him. She was acquainted
Speaker 1: by this time with a good many of the young
Speaker 1: fellows of newspaper Row, and exchanged gossip with them to
Speaker 1: their mutual advantage. They were always talking in the row, everlastingly, gossiping, bantering,
Speaker 1: and sarcastically praising things, and going on in a style
Speaker 1: which was a curious commingling of earnest and persiflage. Colonel
Speaker 1: Sellers liked this talk amazingly, though he was sometimes a
Speaker 1: little at sea in it, and perhaps that didn't lessen
Speaker 1: the relish of the conversation. To the correspondents. It seems
Speaker 1: that they had got hold of the dry goods box
Speaker 1: packing story about Balloon one day and were talking it
Speaker 1: over when the Colonel came in. The Colonel wanted to
Speaker 1: know all about it, and Hicks told him, and then
Speaker 1: Hicks went on with a serious air. Colonel, if you
Speaker 1: register a letter, it means that it is of value,
Speaker 1: doesn't it. And if you pay fifteen cents for registering it,
Speaker 1: the government will have to take extra care of it
Speaker 1: and even pay you back its full value if it
Speaker 1: is lost. Isn't that so? Yes? I suppose it so well,
Speaker 1: Senator Balloon put fifteen cents worth of stamps on each
Speaker 1: of those seven huge boxes of old clothes and shipped
Speaker 1: that ton of secondhand rubbish, old boots and pantaloons and
Speaker 1: what not through the mails as registered matter. It was
Speaker 1: an ingenious thing, and it had a genuine touch of
Speaker 1: humor about it too. I think there is more real
Speaker 1: talent among our public men of to day than there
Speaker 1: was among those of old times, a far more fertile fancy,
Speaker 1: a much happier ingenuity now, Colonel, can you picture Jefferson
Speaker 1: or Washington or John Adams franking their wardrobes through the
Speaker 1: mails and adding the facetious idea of making the government
Speaker 1: responsible for the cargo for the sum of one dollar
Speaker 1: and five cents. Statesmen were dull creatures in those days.
Speaker 1: I have a much greater admiration for center to Balloon. Yes,
Speaker 1: Balloon is a man of parts, there is no denying it.
Speaker 1: I think so. He is spoken of for the post
Speaker 1: of Minister to China or Austria, and I hope he
Speaker 1: will be appointed. What we want abroad is good examples
Speaker 1: of the national character. John Jay and Benjamin Franklin were
Speaker 1: well enough in their day, but the nation has made
Speaker 1: progress since then. Balloon is a man we know and
Speaker 1: can depend on to be true to himself. Yes, and
Speaker 1: Balloon has had a good deal of public experience. He
Speaker 1: is an old friend of mine. He was governor of
Speaker 1: one of the territories a while and was very satisfactory. Indeed,
Speaker 1: he was. He was ex officio Indian agent. Too many
Speaker 1: a man would have taken the Indian appropriation and devoted
Speaker 1: the money to feeding and clothing the helpless savages whose
Speaker 1: land had been taken from them by the white man
Speaker 1: in the interests of civilization. But Balloon knew their needs better.
Speaker 1: He built a government sawmill on the reservation. With the
Speaker 1: money and the lumber sold for enormous prices. A relative
Speaker 1: of his did all the work free of charge. That
Speaker 1: is to say, he charged nothing more than the lumber
Speaker 1: would bring. But the poor Injins, not that I care
Speaker 1: much for engines, what did he do for them? Gave
Speaker 1: them the outside slabs to fence in the reservation. With
Speaker 1: Governor Balloon was nothing less than a father to the
Speaker 1: poor Indians. But Balloon is not alone. We have many
Speaker 1: truly noble statesmen in our country's service like Balloon. The
Speaker 1: Senator is full of them, don't you think so, Colonel Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know, honor my country's public servants as much
Speaker 1: as anyone can. I meet them, Sir, every day, and
Speaker 1: the more I see of them, the more I esteem them,
Speaker 1: and the more grateful I am that our institutions give
Speaker 1: us the opportunity of securing their services. Few lands are
Speaker 1: so blessed well, that is true, Colonel. To be sure,
Speaker 1: you can buy now and then a senator or a representative.
Speaker 1: But they do not know it is wrong, and so
Speaker 1: they are not ashamed of it. They are gentle and
Speaker 1: confiding and childlike, and in my opinion, these are qualities
Speaker 1: that ennoble them far more than any amount of sinful sagacity.
Speaker 1: Could I quite agree with you, Colonel Sellers well, hesitated
Speaker 1: the Colonel, I am afraid some of them do buy
Speaker 1: their seats. Yes, I am afraid they do. But as
Speaker 1: Senator Dilworthy himself said to me, it is sinful. It
Speaker 1: is very wrong. It is shameful. Heaven protect me from
Speaker 1: such a charge. That is what Dilworthy said. And yet
Speaker 1: when you come to look at it, you cannot deny
Speaker 1: that we would have to go without the services of
Speaker 1: some of our ablest men, Sir, if the country were
Speaker 1: opposed to bribery. It is a harsh term. I do
Speaker 1: not like to use it. The Colonel interrupted himself at
Speaker 1: this point to meet an engagement with the Austrian minister,
Speaker 1: and took his leave with his usual courtly bow. End
Speaker 1: of Chapter thirty five,