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<v Speaker 1>This is section thirty five of The Gilded Age. This

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<v Speaker 1>LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter thirty five. Laura went downstairs, knocked at the study door,

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<v Speaker 1>and entered, scarcely waiting for the response. Senator Dilworthy was

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<v Speaker 1>alone with an open Bible in his hand upside down.

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<v Speaker 1>Laura smiled and said, forgetting her acquired correctness of speech,

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<v Speaker 1>it is only me ah, come in, sit down, and

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<v Speaker 1>the Senator closed the book and laid it down. I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to see you time to report progress from the

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<v Speaker 1>Committee of the Whole, and the Senator beamed with his

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<v Speaker 1>own congressional wit. In the Committee of the Whole, things

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<v Speaker 1>are working very well. We have made ever so much

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<v Speaker 1>progress in a week. I believe that you and I

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<v Speaker 1>together could run this government beautifully. Uncle, the Senator beamed again.

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<v Speaker 1>He liked to be called uncle by this beautiful woman.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you see Hopperson last night after the Congressional Print meeting. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>he came. He's kind of ey. He is one of

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<v Speaker 1>my friends, Laura. He's a fine man, a very fine man.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know any man in Congress, I'd sooner go

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<v Speaker 1>to for help in any Christian work. What did he say? Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>He beat around a little. He said he should like

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<v Speaker 1>to help the Negro. His heart went out to the

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<v Speaker 1>Negro and all that. Plenty of them say that. But

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<v Speaker 1>he was a little afraid of the Tennessee Land Bill.

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<v Speaker 1>If Senator Dilworthy wasn't in it, he should suspect there

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<v Speaker 1>was a fraud on the government. He said that, did

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<v Speaker 1>he yes? And he said he felt he couldn't vote

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<v Speaker 1>for it. He was shy, not shy, child, cautious. He's

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<v Speaker 1>a very cautious man. I have been with him a

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<v Speaker 1>great deal on conference committees. He wants reasons, good ones.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't you show him he was in error about the bill?

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<v Speaker 1>I did. I went over the whole thing. I had

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<v Speaker 1>to tell him some of the side arrangements, some of

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<v Speaker 1>the you didn't mention me. Oh no, I told him

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<v Speaker 1>you were daft about the Negro and the philanthropy part

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<v Speaker 1>of it. As you are, daft is a little strong, Laura,

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<v Speaker 1>But you know that I wouldn't touch this bill if

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<v Speaker 1>it were not for the public good and for the

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<v Speaker 1>good of the colored race. Much as I am interested

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<v Speaker 1>in the airs of this property and would like to

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<v Speaker 1>have them succeed. Laura looked a little incredulous, and the

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<v Speaker 1>Senator proceeded, don't misunderstand me. I don't deny that it

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<v Speaker 1>is for the interest of all of us that this

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<v Speaker 1>bill should go through, and it will. I have no

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<v Speaker 1>concealments from you, but I have one principle in my

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<v Speaker 1>public life which I should like you to keep in mind.

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<v Speaker 1>It has always been my guide. I never push a

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<v Speaker 1>private interest if it is not justified and ennobled by

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<v Speaker 1>some larger public good. I doubt if a Christian would

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<v Speaker 1>be justified in working for his own salvation if it

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<v Speaker 1>was not to aid in the salvation of his fellow men.

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<v Speaker 1>The senator spoke with feeling and then added, I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you showed Hopperson that our motives were pure. Yes, and

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<v Speaker 1>he seemed to have a new light on the measure.

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<v Speaker 1>I think he will vote for it. I hope so

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<v Speaker 1>his name will give tone and strength to it. I

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<v Speaker 1>knew you would only have to show him that it

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<v Speaker 1>was just and pure in order to secure his cordial support.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I convinced him. Yes, I am perfectly sure

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<v Speaker 1>he will vote right now. That's good that's good, said

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<v Speaker 1>the Senator, smiling and rubbing his hands. Is there anything more?

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<v Speaker 1>You'll find some changes in that, I guess. Handing the

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<v Speaker 1>Senator a printed list of names, those checked off are

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<v Speaker 1>all right? Ah hum. Running his eye down the list,

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<v Speaker 1>that's encouraging. What is the C before some of the names?

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<v Speaker 1>And the B B? Those are my private marks. That

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<v Speaker 1>C stands for convinced with argument. The B B is

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<v Speaker 1>a general sign for a relative. You see. It stands

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<v Speaker 1>before three of the honorable Committee. I expect to see

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<v Speaker 1>the chairman of the Committee to day, mister Buckstone, so

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<v Speaker 1>you must he ought to be seen without any delay.

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<v Speaker 1>Buckstone is a worldly sort of a fellow, but he

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<v Speaker 1>has charitable impulses. If we secure him, we shall have

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<v Speaker 1>a favorable report by the Committee. And it will be

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<v Speaker 1>a great thing to be able to state that fact

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<v Speaker 1>quietly where it will do good. Oh, I saw Senator Balloon.

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<v Speaker 1>He will help us. I suppose Balloon is a wholehearted fellow.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't help loving that man. For all his drollery

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<v Speaker 1>and waggishness. He puts on an air of levity sometimes,

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<v Speaker 1>But there ain't a man in the Senate knows the

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<v Speaker 1>scripture as he does. He did not make any objections,

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<v Speaker 1>not exactly he said. Shall I tell you what he said,

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<v Speaker 1>asked Laura, glancing furtively at him. Certainly, he said, he

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<v Speaker 1>had no doubt it was a good thing. If Senator

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<v Speaker 1>Dilworthy was in it, it would pay to look into it.

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<v Speaker 1>The Senator laughed, but rather feebly, and said, Balloon is

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<v Speaker 1>always full of his jokes. I explained it to him.

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<v Speaker 1>He said it was all right. He only wanted a

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<v Speaker 1>word with you, continued Laura. He is a handsome old gentleman,

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<v Speaker 1>and he is gallant for an old man, my daughter,

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<v Speaker 1>said the senator, with a grave look. I trust there

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<v Speaker 1>was nothing free in his manner free, repeated Laura, with

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<v Speaker 1>indignation in her face. With me there there, child, I

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<v Speaker 1>meant nothing. Balloon talks a little freely sometimes with men,

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<v Speaker 1>but he is right at heart. His term expires next year,

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<v Speaker 1>and I fear we shall lose him. He seemed to

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<v Speaker 1>be packing the day I was there. His rooms were

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<v Speaker 1>full of dry goods boxes into which his servant was

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<v Speaker 1>crowding all manner of old clothes and stuff. I suppose

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<v Speaker 1>he will paint pub docks on them and frank them home.

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<v Speaker 1>That's good economy, isn't it? Yes? Yes, but child, all

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<v Speaker 1>congress men do that. It may not be st honest.

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<v Speaker 1>Indeed it is not unless he had some public documents

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<v Speaker 1>mixed in with the clothes. Isn't it a funny world?

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<v Speaker 1>Goodbye uncle, I'm going to see that, chairman, and humming

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<v Speaker 1>a cheery opera air. She departed to her room to

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<v Speaker 1>dress for going out. Before she did that, however, she

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<v Speaker 1>took out her note book and was soon deep in

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<v Speaker 1>its contents, marking, dashing, erasing, figuring, and talking to herself free.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder what Dilworthy does think of me anyway? One

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<v Speaker 1>two eight seventeen twenty one mm takes a heap for

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<v Speaker 1>a majority. Wouldn't Dilworthy open his eyes if he knew

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<v Speaker 1>some of the things Balloon did say to me? There?

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<v Speaker 1>Hopperson's influence ought to count twenty The sanctimonious old curmudgeon

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<v Speaker 1>son in law sinecure in the Negro institution that about

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<v Speaker 1>gages him the three committee men, sons in law. Nothing

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<v Speaker 1>like a son in law here in Washington or a

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<v Speaker 1>brother in law, and everybody has him. Let's see sixty

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<v Speaker 1>one with places twenty five persuaded. It is getting on.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll have two thirds of Congress in time. Dilworthy must

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<v Speaker 1>surely know I understand him, Uncle Dilworthy, Uncle Balloon tells

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<v Speaker 1>very amusing stories when ladies are not present. I should

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<v Speaker 1>think so, hm hm eighty five. There I must find

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<v Speaker 1>that Chairman Queer Buckstone acts seems to be in love.

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<v Speaker 1>I was sure of it. He promised to come here,

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<v Speaker 1>and he hasn't strange, very strange. I must chance to

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<v Speaker 1>meet him. To day, Laura dressed and went out, thinking

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<v Speaker 1>she was perhaps too early for mister Buckstone to come

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<v Speaker 1>from the house, but as he lodged near the book store,

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<v Speaker 1>she would drop him there and keep a look out

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<v Speaker 1>for him. While Laura is on her errand to find

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<v Speaker 1>mister Buckstone, it may not be out of the way

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<v Speaker 1>to remark that she knew quite as much of Washington

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<v Speaker 1>life as Senator Dilworthy gave her credit for, and more

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<v Speaker 1>than she thought proper to tell him. She was acquainted

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<v Speaker 1>by this time with a good many of the young

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<v Speaker 1>fellows of newspaper Row, and exchanged gossip with them to

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<v Speaker 1>their mutual advantage. They were always talking in the row, everlastingly, gossiping, bantering,

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<v Speaker 1>and sarcastically praising things, and going on in a style

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<v Speaker 1>which was a curious commingling of earnest and persiflage. Colonel

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<v Speaker 1>Sellers liked this talk amazingly, though he was sometimes a

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<v Speaker 1>little at sea in it, and perhaps that didn't lessen

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<v Speaker 1>the relish of the conversation. To the correspondents. It seems

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<v Speaker 1>that they had got hold of the dry goods box

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<v Speaker 1>packing story about Balloon one day and were talking it

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<v Speaker 1>over when the Colonel came in. The Colonel wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>know all about it, and Hicks told him, and then

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<v Speaker 1>Hicks went on with a serious air. Colonel, if you

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<v Speaker 1>register a letter, it means that it is of value,

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't it. And if you pay fifteen cents for registering it,

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<v Speaker 1>the government will have to take extra care of it

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<v Speaker 1>and even pay you back its full value if it

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<v Speaker 1>is lost. Isn't that so? Yes? I suppose it so well,

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<v Speaker 1>Senator Balloon put fifteen cents worth of stamps on each

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<v Speaker 1>of those seven huge boxes of old clothes and shipped

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<v Speaker 1>that ton of secondhand rubbish, old boots and pantaloons and

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<v Speaker 1>what not through the mails as registered matter. It was

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<v Speaker 1>an ingenious thing, and it had a genuine touch of

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<v Speaker 1>humor about it too. I think there is more real

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<v Speaker 1>talent among our public men of to day than there

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<v Speaker 1>was among those of old times, a far more fertile fancy,

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<v Speaker 1>a much happier ingenuity now, Colonel, can you picture Jefferson

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<v Speaker 1>or Washington or John Adams franking their wardrobes through the

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<v Speaker 1>mails and adding the facetious idea of making the government

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<v Speaker 1>responsible for the cargo for the sum of one dollar

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<v Speaker 1>and five cents. Statesmen were dull creatures in those days.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a much greater admiration for center to Balloon. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>Balloon is a man of parts, there is no denying it.

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<v Speaker 1>I think so. He is spoken of for the post

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<v Speaker 1>of Minister to China or Austria, and I hope he

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<v Speaker 1>will be appointed. What we want abroad is good examples

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<v Speaker 1>of the national character. John Jay and Benjamin Franklin were

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<v Speaker 1>well enough in their day, but the nation has made

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<v Speaker 1>progress since then. Balloon is a man we know and

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<v Speaker 1>can depend on to be true to himself. Yes, and

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<v Speaker 1>Balloon has had a good deal of public experience. He

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<v Speaker 1>is an old friend of mine. He was governor of

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<v Speaker 1>one of the territories a while and was very satisfactory. Indeed,

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<v Speaker 1>he was. He was ex officio Indian agent. Too many

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<v Speaker 1>a man would have taken the Indian appropriation and devoted

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<v Speaker 1>the money to feeding and clothing the helpless savages whose

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<v Speaker 1>land had been taken from them by the white man

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<v Speaker 1>in the interests of civilization. But Balloon knew their needs better.

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<v Speaker 1>He built a government sawmill on the reservation. With the

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<v Speaker 1>money and the lumber sold for enormous prices. A relative

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<v Speaker 1>of his did all the work free of charge. That

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<v Speaker 1>is to say, he charged nothing more than the lumber

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<v Speaker 1>would bring. But the poor Injins, not that I care

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<v Speaker 1>much for engines, what did he do for them? Gave

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<v Speaker 1>them the outside slabs to fence in the reservation. With

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<v Speaker 1>Governor Balloon was nothing less than a father to the

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<v Speaker 1>poor Indians. But Balloon is not alone. We have many

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<v Speaker 1>truly noble statesmen in our country's service like Balloon. The

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<v Speaker 1>Senator is full of them, don't you think so, Colonel Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, honor my country's public servants as much

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<v Speaker 1>as anyone can. I meet them, Sir, every day, and

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<v Speaker 1>the more I see of them, the more I esteem them,

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<v Speaker 1>and the more grateful I am that our institutions give

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<v Speaker 1>us the opportunity of securing their services. Few lands are

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<v Speaker 1>so blessed well, that is true, Colonel. To be sure,

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<v Speaker 1>you can buy now and then a senator or a representative.

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<v Speaker 1>But they do not know it is wrong, and so

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<v Speaker 1>they are not ashamed of it. They are gentle and

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<v Speaker 1>confiding and childlike, and in my opinion, these are qualities

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<v Speaker 1>that ennoble them far more than any amount of sinful sagacity.

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<v Speaker 1>Could I quite agree with you, Colonel Sellers well, hesitated

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<v Speaker 1>the Colonel, I am afraid some of them do buy

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<v Speaker 1>their seats. Yes, I am afraid they do. But as

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<v Speaker 1>Senator Dilworthy himself said to me, it is sinful. It

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<v Speaker 1>is very wrong. It is shameful. Heaven protect me from

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<v Speaker 1>such a charge. That is what Dilworthy said. And yet

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<v Speaker 1>when you come to look at it, you cannot deny

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<v Speaker 1>that we would have to go without the services of

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<v Speaker 1>some of our ablest men, Sir, if the country were

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<v Speaker 1>opposed to bribery. It is a harsh term. I do

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<v Speaker 1>not like to use it. The Colonel interrupted himself at

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<v Speaker 1>this point to meet an engagement with the Austrian minister,

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<v Speaker 1>and took his leave with his usual courtly bow. End

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<v Speaker 1>of Chapter thirty five,