Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, I'm bad with something for you to
Speaker 1: think about. I hope everyone is doing well today wherever
Speaker 1: you are in this world.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you stopping by listen today.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about something I heard a prominent
Speaker 1: individual say on their podcast.
Speaker 2: I heard this individual say that.
Speaker 1: With your relationship is off. With the person that you
Speaker 1: care about, everything else is off. I don't agree with
Speaker 1: that to me in my opinion. In my opinion, people
Speaker 1: they talk to be heard, they say the things they
Speaker 1: say because they don't know any better.
Speaker 2: Just because you're a prominent person don't mean you know everything.
Speaker 2: It does not.
Speaker 1: Just because you have a lot of money that people
Speaker 1: have put you up on pedestals does not mean you
Speaker 1: know everything.
Speaker 2: And I found.
Speaker 1: That a lot of times people give bad information, period
Speaker 1: They give bad information, but some people will believe anything
Speaker 1: because of the person who's saying it, and they're a
Speaker 1: prominent person for some reason, people just believe it.
Speaker 2: And the things that they say is just off.
Speaker 1: They're not correct. Anyways, I'm not gonna get all off
Speaker 1: a mat back to the subject. One thing I've learned
Speaker 1: in life is you do not invest all of you
Speaker 1: into someone else. You just cannot do it. I don't
Speaker 1: care who it is. I don't care if it's your child,
Speaker 1: if it's your mom, your dad, your siblings, your significant other.
Speaker 2: I don't care who it is.
Speaker 1: You cannot do it. What I mean so there's no misunderstanding.
Speaker 1: What I mean is, yes, you love them and you.
Speaker 2: Care about them.
Speaker 1: And for significant significant others, you're in love with them.
Speaker 2: You should be a lot of people not. But I'm
Speaker 2: just saying, but.
Speaker 1: You have to have boundaries for yourself, for your own
Speaker 1: mental SA.
Speaker 2: You have to have boundaries against all people.
Speaker 1: And it's clear when people don't have boundaries, because they
Speaker 1: lose their minds, they do the unthinkable. Some people have breakdowns,
Speaker 1: some people commit suicide, some.
Speaker 2: People even commit homicide. People become depressed.
Speaker 1: I mean, just so many things because they were so.
Speaker 2: Into the other person.
Speaker 1: They were so sold out to that other person, but
Speaker 1: not to themselves. And I'm just saying my belief because
Speaker 1: I've told you many times that I've gone through some things,
Speaker 1: some traumatic things, and I'm one thing I'll probably was
Speaker 1: no probably, I'll deal with it for the rest of
Speaker 1: my life. There's no change in it. It is what
Speaker 1: it is, horrible as it is. I can't change it,
Speaker 1: so I have to live with it.
Speaker 2: But for me, I have.
Speaker 1: Learned how to lean and depend on God. That's the
Speaker 1: only way I can make it. I'm speaking for myself,
Speaker 1: that's the only way I can make it. I don't
Speaker 1: look at people, I don't care who they are, and
Speaker 1: just give everything.
Speaker 2: Of me to that person.
Speaker 1: I love my children, grandchildren, my friends, my families, my coworkers.
Speaker 1: I mean with.
Speaker 2: A pure heart.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is I just don't let people
Speaker 1: get to me in that way. People or things.
Speaker 2: I just don't. I just don't give people my power.
Speaker 1: Giving people your power leaves you powerless.
Speaker 3: It causes so many issues in your life, so many issues, see,
Speaker 3: because you lose focus because.
Speaker 2: That individual.
Speaker 1: Is what's most important to you, even more important than yourself.
Speaker 2: So for me, I don't agree with that.
Speaker 1: If you're in a relationship with someone, whether it's a
Speaker 1: friendhip or whatever it is, and something has gone on
Speaker 1: between you and another person, if you're so distraught over
Speaker 1: that that you cannot function, the issue isn't what's going on.
Speaker 2: In the relationship. The issue.
Speaker 1: The real issue is what's going on inside of you.
Speaker 1: That's the real issue. I already know, some people say, oh,
Speaker 1: she's cold, and you know this is that that's not true.
Speaker 2: Anybody knows me.
Speaker 1: No, I'm giving, I'm loving, I'm caring, I'm sharing on
Speaker 1: all of that.
Speaker 2: But I just don't give people my power.
Speaker 1: I have to live my life and I have to
Speaker 1: live my life in peace. I can't do that if
Speaker 1: I'm so caught up in someone else that I allow.
Speaker 2: Them to take my peace. Won't do it.
Speaker 1: But this permanent person was making emphasis on relationships and
Speaker 1: how they can cause you a bad day. They can
Speaker 1: cause you a lot of grief in your life when
Speaker 1: they're off, and that means when something is going on.
Speaker 1: But I don't agree with that. I just don't now
Speaker 1: for many people that's true. I mean it is because
Speaker 1: of the mindsets people have. I've told you many times.
Speaker 1: Being grown does not mean you're mentally mature.
Speaker 3: It not.
Speaker 2: Most people are not. They are not.
Speaker 1: They think they are, but they are not. The Only
Speaker 1: way you become mentally mature.
Speaker 2: Is by growing and learning from your experiences.
Speaker 1: The only way you become mentally mature is by allowing
Speaker 1: healing in your life, becoming a better person, loving yourself,
Speaker 1: knowing yourself, and all of that helps you to grow
Speaker 1: and to develop into a person who is mentally mature.
Speaker 2: You become batter.
Speaker 1: A lot of people haven't, and they are.
Speaker 2: Older than me. A lot of people.
Speaker 1: A lot of people have gone to their graves the
Speaker 1: same exact way, living their lives the same exact way,
Speaker 1: right into the graves.
Speaker 2: No mental peace, so busy being.
Speaker 1: Caught up in other people that you don't even allow
Speaker 1: healing in your own life.
Speaker 2: That's the world we live in.
Speaker 1: People care about everyone, in everything other than self. And
Speaker 1: that's why we see what we see in the people
Speaker 1: around us, and not necessarily just around us. But you
Speaker 1: hear about you see it on TV, you hear it
Speaker 1: on the news. Because people make everyone more important than self.
Speaker 1: People make everything more important than self, being successful, getting
Speaker 1: recognition and validation from other people.
Speaker 2: It's more important, chasing money, chasing love. It is more important.
Speaker 2: And all it does is.
Speaker 1: Stressed I mean, completely stresses people out.
Speaker 2: I mean people cannot see what they do to themselves.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to talk about it because, as I
Speaker 1: said a couple of times, I don't agree with that.
Speaker 1: I don't agree with no one in my life taking
Speaker 1: my power. I just don't now if I have an issue.
Speaker 1: Of course I am going to address that, But for
Speaker 1: it to drive me insane or to the edge, No,
Speaker 1: it's not happening. It's not happening. And I do believe
Speaker 1: wholeheartedly that when you're in a relationship with someone you
Speaker 1: love them. You supposed to love them, You're supposed to
Speaker 1: be in love with them, You're supposed to do what
Speaker 1: you need to do for them as long as it's
Speaker 1: legal and positive.
Speaker 2: But to allow.
Speaker 1: That person to cause me to do wrong, break the law,
Speaker 1: lose my mind.
Speaker 2: Become depressed, suicidal? What never?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: Never? Never? Say never?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: I say never because I'm not giving no one that
Speaker 2: power over me.
Speaker 1: I'm not. And a lot of things in life hurt.
Speaker 1: The people you love the most are the ones who
Speaker 1: hurt you the most a lot of times. But it
Speaker 1: is you who determines how a person affects your life.
Speaker 2: It is you who determine that. But if you give
Speaker 2: your power.
Speaker 1: To that individual, you have given them the power to
Speaker 1: dictate that in your life. Because, like I said, when
Speaker 1: you give up your power, it makes you powerless. Just
Speaker 1: think about that. See a lot of people, most people
Speaker 1: don't understand love because they don't love themselves. They don't
Speaker 1: know what it is, so they open themselves up to
Speaker 1: other people and they allow people to come into their
Speaker 1: lives and cause them to feel a certain type of way.
Speaker 2: That's given your power. If your relationship.
Speaker 1: Is on the edge or you're going through something, hey, that's.
Speaker 2: A part of life.
Speaker 3: People treat you how you.
Speaker 1: You have taught them to treat you. That's how you're
Speaker 1: gonna be treated. Whatever you accept and allowed, that's what
Speaker 1: you're going to get, not sometimes all of the time,
Speaker 1: because you are the one who talks that individual how
Speaker 1: they can treat you. That's why I tell you, why
Speaker 1: are you crying over someone who don't even want you?
Speaker 1: Make that make sense?
Speaker 2: It does not. Why are you losing your mind over
Speaker 2: someone who's.
Speaker 1: Not even thinking about you? You losing your mind over
Speaker 1: someone who is not even thinking about you.
Speaker 2: They're not the problem. You are the problem.
Speaker 1: Your mindset is your worst enemy.
Speaker 2: I'm just telling you the truth.
Speaker 1: So if something is going wrong in your relationship, hey,
Speaker 1: you don't vow out by breaking down and losing your mind.
Speaker 1: You work on it. If it don't work, hey, life
Speaker 1: goes on. I'm not going to let anything disrupt me
Speaker 1: and make me dysfunctional. You know, when my mom passed away,
Speaker 1: I didn't miswork, and it wasn't because oh I just
Speaker 1: get miss work.
Speaker 2: What was the purpose?
Speaker 1: I took my computer and I tell her worked at
Speaker 1: my mom's house while she was sick. I tell her
Speaker 1: work because I have a lot of siblings, so it
Speaker 1: was enough of us where I could do that.
Speaker 2: Took my computer, tell the work, still took care of
Speaker 2: mom because I was in the mental.
Speaker 1: You know, the frame of mind to be able to
Speaker 1: do that. And I mean it was devastating, It really was.
Speaker 1: I told you before about how I felt when my
Speaker 1: mom first passed, and then if you haven't heard it,
Speaker 1: go back.
Speaker 2: And listen to other episodes. It was the worst thing ever.
Speaker 1: I was like, how do you go on without your mom?
Speaker 1: But I quickly figured it out, either you go on
Speaker 1: or life will pass you by. And I have a
Speaker 1: sister because she is still struggling very much so, and
Speaker 1: I told her today, Hey.
Speaker 2: They got room for you next.
Speaker 1: To Mom if that's where you want to be, because
Speaker 1: you gotta move on.
Speaker 2: And that's not being cruel, it's the truth. You got
Speaker 2: to move on.
Speaker 1: I told her, you will never forget her, We will
Speaker 1: never forgive her. We will love her until our dying days.
Speaker 1: But life goes on. And it's not trying to tell
Speaker 1: anybody how to feel, or how to griethe or anything
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: She was my mom too. A matter of fact, I'm
Speaker 2: a year older than her.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, life don't stop because you have a tragedy.
Speaker 4: It don't stop, nor do it slow down. People have
Speaker 4: literally broken down. When I say broken down, I mean
Speaker 4: had nervous breakdowns because they give so much power, so
Speaker 4: much power to people, and our mom is gone.
Speaker 2: She's never coming back. So we have to move on.
Speaker 1: And it's in any relationship. It does not matter who
Speaker 1: it is. If you're having problems, work them out. If
Speaker 1: you can't work them out, life goes on. You have
Speaker 1: to live so you can have peace. You can't have
Speaker 1: peace when you give up your power. You just can't.
Speaker 1: It does not mean that you don't feel, you don't love,
Speaker 1: you don't cry, you don't want.
Speaker 2: Hurt, You do all of that, but you move on.
Speaker 1: And I've had death and lost since my mother, my grandson, aunts,
Speaker 1: I mean, plenty of family. You gotta move on because
Speaker 1: guess what, we're all leaving this world on some day somehow,
Speaker 1: every last.
Speaker 2: One of us.
Speaker 1: They didn't do anything special. It's a journey we all
Speaker 1: must take. We all going to take. No one is
Speaker 1: except no one.
Speaker 2: So I'm speaking as far as death, separation, divorce, break up,
Speaker 2: It don't matter.
Speaker 1: Life goes on and you get through it according to
Speaker 1: the mindset you have. See a lot of people. They're
Speaker 1: not on that mental maturity. You know, they're not on
Speaker 1: that level. Therefore they have such a hard time going
Speaker 1: through and getting through situations because of the mindsets that
Speaker 1: they have getting into whatever their storms are. You have
Speaker 1: to get to a place in life if you are
Speaker 1: mental peace.
Speaker 2: You have to get to.
Speaker 1: A place in life where you love you enough not
Speaker 1: to give your power to no one.
Speaker 2: The only bowing I do is on my knees to
Speaker 2: my God in prayer.
Speaker 1: No man, no woman, no boy, no girl. And I know,
Speaker 1: I know, well that's you, Cherry. I get that. But
Speaker 1: I'm trying to tell you if you want peace, you
Speaker 1: can't give up your power.
Speaker 2: You just can't. When you give up your power, you're
Speaker 2: always focusing.
Speaker 1: On something, not concerning your own life, but somebody else's
Speaker 1: always You're always focusing on something, and all it does
Speaker 1: is bring a lot of stress in your life. You
Speaker 1: have to love yourself enough not to put yourself through that.
Speaker 1: And like I said, you're gonna hurt, you're gonna cry,
Speaker 1: you're gonna do it all along the way, but.
Speaker 2: You're gonna move on. You're gonna keep going. So it's
Speaker 2: up to you.
Speaker 1: If you allow a person to cause you stagnation, it's
Speaker 1: up to you.
Speaker 2: If you allow a person to cause you to not be.
Speaker 1: Able to function in your life, that is only up
Speaker 1: to you.
Speaker 2: If that's what you choose, that's what you wanna get.
Speaker 2: If you can move on and you stay there, you're making.
Speaker 1: It bad for yourself. And I'm telling you this out
Speaker 1: of love. With love, whoever you give your power to,
Speaker 1: you lose it. Whatever you give your power to, you
Speaker 1: lose it. And that's all I'm saying, and I'm leaving
Speaker 1: it right there. Thank you for listening. Much much much
Speaker 1: love to each and every one of you. If you
Speaker 1: have something that's say, hey, reach out to me. And
Speaker 1: if you feel I'm wrong or you don't like what
Speaker 1: I said, we can talk about it. We can talk
Speaker 1: about it. But I know what I'm talking about. So
Speaker 1: thank you for listening. Reach out to me go to
Speaker 1: my podcast page and give you my email. You can
Speaker 1: reach out to me any time. I will respond. Please
Speaker 1: share this episode again, much love to each and every
Speaker 1: one of you. I end all episodes the same, and
Speaker 1: I hope and I pray you do it, think on it,