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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, I'm bad with something for you to

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<v Speaker 1>think about. I hope everyone is doing well today wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you are in this world.

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<v Speaker 2>I appreciate you stopping by listen today.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to talk about something I heard a prominent

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<v Speaker 1>individual say on their podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I heard this individual say that.

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<v Speaker 1>With your relationship is off. With the person that you

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<v Speaker 1>care about, everything else is off. I don't agree with

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<v Speaker 1>that to me in my opinion. In my opinion, people

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<v Speaker 1>they talk to be heard, they say the things they

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<v Speaker 1>say because they don't know any better.

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<v Speaker 2>Just because you're a prominent person don't mean you know everything.

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<v Speaker 2>It does not.

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<v Speaker 1>Just because you have a lot of money that people

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<v Speaker 1>have put you up on pedestals does not mean you

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<v Speaker 1>know everything.

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<v Speaker 2>And I found.

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<v Speaker 1>That a lot of times people give bad information, period

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<v Speaker 1>They give bad information, but some people will believe anything

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<v Speaker 1>because of the person who's saying it, and they're a

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<v Speaker 1>prominent person for some reason, people just believe it.

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<v Speaker 2>And the things that they say is just off.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not correct. Anyways, I'm not gonna get all off

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<v Speaker 1>a mat back to the subject. One thing I've learned

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<v Speaker 1>in life is you do not invest all of you

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<v Speaker 1>into someone else. You just cannot do it. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>care who it is. I don't care if it's your child,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's your mom, your dad, your siblings, your significant other.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care who it is.

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<v Speaker 1>You cannot do it. What I mean so there's no misunderstanding.

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<v Speaker 1>What I mean is, yes, you love them and you.

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<v Speaker 2>Care about them.

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<v Speaker 1>And for significant significant others, you're in love with them.

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<v Speaker 2>You should be a lot of people not. But I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just saying, but.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to have boundaries for yourself, for your own

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<v Speaker 1>mental SA.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to have boundaries against all people.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's clear when people don't have boundaries, because they

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<v Speaker 1>lose their minds, they do the unthinkable. Some people have breakdowns,

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<v Speaker 1>some people commit suicide, some.

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<v Speaker 2>People even commit homicide. People become depressed.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, just so many things because they were so.

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<v Speaker 2>Into the other person.

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<v Speaker 1>They were so sold out to that other person, but

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<v Speaker 1>not to themselves. And I'm just saying my belief because

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<v Speaker 1>I've told you many times that I've gone through some things,

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<v Speaker 1>some traumatic things, and I'm one thing I'll probably was

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<v Speaker 1>no probably, I'll deal with it for the rest of

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<v Speaker 1>my life. There's no change in it. It is what

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<v Speaker 1>it is, horrible as it is. I can't change it,

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<v Speaker 1>so I have to live with it.

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<v Speaker 2>But for me, I have.

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<v Speaker 1>Learned how to lean and depend on God. That's the

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<v Speaker 1>only way I can make it. I'm speaking for myself,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the only way I can make it. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>look at people, I don't care who they are, and

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<v Speaker 1>just give everything.

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<v Speaker 2>Of me to that person.

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<v Speaker 1>I love my children, grandchildren, my friends, my families, my coworkers.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean with.

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<v Speaker 2>A pure heart.

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<v Speaker 1>But what I'm saying is I just don't let people

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<v Speaker 1>get to me in that way. People or things.

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<v Speaker 2>I just don't. I just don't give people my power.

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<v Speaker 1>Giving people your power leaves you powerless.

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<v Speaker 3>It causes so many issues in your life, so many issues, see,

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<v Speaker 3>because you lose focus because.

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<v Speaker 2>That individual.

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<v Speaker 1>Is what's most important to you, even more important than yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>So for me, I don't agree with that.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're in a relationship with someone, whether it's a

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<v Speaker 1>friendhip or whatever it is, and something has gone on

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<v Speaker 1>between you and another person, if you're so distraught over

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<v Speaker 1>that that you cannot function, the issue isn't what's going on.

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<v Speaker 2>In the relationship. The issue.

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<v Speaker 1>The real issue is what's going on inside of you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the real issue. I already know, some people say, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>she's cold, and you know this is that that's not true.

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<v Speaker 2>Anybody knows me.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I'm giving, I'm loving, I'm caring, I'm sharing on

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<v Speaker 1>all of that.

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<v Speaker 2>But I just don't give people my power.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to live my life and I have to

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<v Speaker 1>live my life in peace. I can't do that if

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so caught up in someone else that I allow.

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<v Speaker 2>Them to take my peace. Won't do it.

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<v Speaker 1>But this permanent person was making emphasis on relationships and

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<v Speaker 1>how they can cause you a bad day. They can

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<v Speaker 1>cause you a lot of grief in your life when

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<v Speaker 1>they're off, and that means when something is going on.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't agree with that. I just don't now

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<v Speaker 1>for many people that's true. I mean it is because

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<v Speaker 1>of the mindsets people have. I've told you many times.

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<v Speaker 1>Being grown does not mean you're mentally mature.

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<v Speaker 3>It not.

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<v Speaker 2>Most people are not. They are not.

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<v Speaker 1>They think they are, but they are not. The Only

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<v Speaker 1>way you become mentally mature.

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<v Speaker 2>Is by growing and learning from your experiences.

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<v Speaker 1>The only way you become mentally mature is by allowing

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<v Speaker 1>healing in your life, becoming a better person, loving yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>knowing yourself, and all of that helps you to grow

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<v Speaker 1>and to develop into a person who is mentally mature.

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<v Speaker 2>You become batter.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people haven't, and they are.

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<v Speaker 2>Older than me. A lot of people.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people have gone to their graves the

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<v Speaker 1>same exact way, living their lives the same exact way,

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<v Speaker 1>right into the graves.

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<v Speaker 2>No mental peace, so busy being.

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<v Speaker 1>Caught up in other people that you don't even allow

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<v Speaker 1>healing in your own life.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the world we live in.

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<v Speaker 1>People care about everyone, in everything other than self. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's why we see what we see in the people

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<v Speaker 1>around us, and not necessarily just around us. But you

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<v Speaker 1>hear about you see it on TV, you hear it

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<v Speaker 1>on the news. Because people make everyone more important than self.

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<v Speaker 1>People make everything more important than self, being successful, getting

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<v Speaker 1>recognition and validation from other people.

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<v Speaker 2>It's more important, chasing money, chasing love. It is more important.

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<v Speaker 2>And all it does is.

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<v Speaker 1>Stressed I mean, completely stresses people out.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean people cannot see what they do to themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>So I wanted to talk about it because, as I

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<v Speaker 1>said a couple of times, I don't agree with that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't agree with no one in my life taking

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<v Speaker 1>my power. I just don't now if I have an issue.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course I am going to address that, But for

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<v Speaker 1>it to drive me insane or to the edge, No,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not happening. It's not happening. And I do believe

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<v Speaker 1>wholeheartedly that when you're in a relationship with someone you

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<v Speaker 1>love them. You supposed to love them, You're supposed to

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<v Speaker 1>be in love with them, You're supposed to do what

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<v Speaker 1>you need to do for them as long as it's

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<v Speaker 1>legal and positive.

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<v Speaker 2>But to allow.

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<v Speaker 1>That person to cause me to do wrong, break the law,

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<v Speaker 1>lose my mind.

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<v Speaker 2>Become depressed, suicidal? What never?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it?

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<v Speaker 2>Never? Never? Say never?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>I say never because I'm not giving no one that

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<v Speaker 2>power over me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not. And a lot of things in life hurt.

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<v Speaker 1>The people you love the most are the ones who

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<v Speaker 1>hurt you the most a lot of times. But it

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<v Speaker 1>is you who determines how a person affects your life.

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<v Speaker 2>It is you who determine that. But if you give

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<v Speaker 2>your power.

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<v Speaker 1>To that individual, you have given them the power to

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<v Speaker 1>dictate that in your life. Because, like I said, when

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<v Speaker 1>you give up your power, it makes you powerless. Just

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<v Speaker 1>think about that. See a lot of people, most people

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<v Speaker 1>don't understand love because they don't love themselves. They don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what it is, so they open themselves up to

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<v Speaker 1>other people and they allow people to come into their

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<v Speaker 1>lives and cause them to feel a certain type of way.

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<v Speaker 2>That's given your power. If your relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Is on the edge or you're going through something, hey, that's.

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<v Speaker 2>A part of life.

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<v Speaker 3>People treat you how you.

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<v Speaker 1>You have taught them to treat you. That's how you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be treated. Whatever you accept and allowed, that's what

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to get, not sometimes all of the time,

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<v Speaker 1>because you are the one who talks that individual how

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<v Speaker 1>they can treat you. That's why I tell you, why

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<v Speaker 1>are you crying over someone who don't even want you?

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<v Speaker 1>Make that make sense?

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<v Speaker 2>It does not. Why are you losing your mind over

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<v Speaker 2>someone who's.

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<v Speaker 1>Not even thinking about you? You losing your mind over

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<v Speaker 1>someone who is not even thinking about you.

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<v Speaker 2>They're not the problem. You are the problem.

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<v Speaker 1>Your mindset is your worst enemy.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just telling you the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>So if something is going wrong in your relationship, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't vow out by breaking down and losing your mind.

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<v Speaker 1>You work on it. If it don't work, hey, life

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<v Speaker 1>goes on. I'm not going to let anything disrupt me

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<v Speaker 1>and make me dysfunctional. You know, when my mom passed away,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't miswork, and it wasn't because oh I just

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<v Speaker 1>get miss work.

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<v Speaker 2>What was the purpose?

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<v Speaker 1>I took my computer and I tell her worked at

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<v Speaker 1>my mom's house while she was sick. I tell her

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<v Speaker 1>work because I have a lot of siblings, so it

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<v Speaker 1>was enough of us where I could do that.

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<v Speaker 2>Took my computer, tell the work, still took care of

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<v Speaker 2>mom because I was in the mental.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, the frame of mind to be able to

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<v Speaker 1>do that. And I mean it was devastating, It really was.

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<v Speaker 1>I told you before about how I felt when my

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<v Speaker 1>mom first passed, and then if you haven't heard it,

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<v Speaker 1>go back.

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<v Speaker 2>And listen to other episodes. It was the worst thing ever.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, how do you go on without your mom?

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<v Speaker 1>But I quickly figured it out, either you go on

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<v Speaker 1>or life will pass you by. And I have a

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<v Speaker 1>sister because she is still struggling very much so, and

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<v Speaker 1>I told her today, Hey.

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<v Speaker 2>They got room for you next.

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<v Speaker 1>To Mom if that's where you want to be, because

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta move on.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's not being cruel, it's the truth. You got

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<v Speaker 2>to move on.

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<v Speaker 1>I told her, you will never forget her, We will

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<v Speaker 1>never forgive her. We will love her until our dying days.

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<v Speaker 1>But life goes on. And it's not trying to tell

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<v Speaker 1>anybody how to feel, or how to griethe or anything

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<v Speaker 1>like that.

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<v Speaker 2>She was my mom too. A matter of fact, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a year older than her.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, life don't stop because you have a tragedy.

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<v Speaker 4>It don't stop, nor do it slow down. People have

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<v Speaker 4>literally broken down. When I say broken down, I mean

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<v Speaker 4>had nervous breakdowns because they give so much power, so

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<v Speaker 4>much power to people, and our mom is gone.

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<v Speaker 2>She's never coming back. So we have to move on.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's in any relationship. It does not matter who

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<v Speaker 1>it is. If you're having problems, work them out. If

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<v Speaker 1>you can't work them out, life goes on. You have

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<v Speaker 1>to live so you can have peace. You can't have

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<v Speaker 1>peace when you give up your power. You just can't.

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<v Speaker 1>It does not mean that you don't feel, you don't love,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't cry, you don't want.

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<v Speaker 2>Hurt, You do all of that, but you move on.

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<v Speaker 1>And I've had death and lost since my mother, my grandson, aunts,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, plenty of family. You gotta move on because

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<v Speaker 1>guess what, we're all leaving this world on some day somehow,

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<v Speaker 1>every last.

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<v Speaker 2>One of us.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't do anything special. It's a journey we all

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<v Speaker 1>must take. We all going to take. No one is

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<v Speaker 1>except no one.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm speaking as far as death, separation, divorce, break up,

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<v Speaker 2>It don't matter.

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<v Speaker 1>Life goes on and you get through it according to

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<v Speaker 1>the mindset you have. See a lot of people. They're

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<v Speaker 1>not on that mental maturity. You know, they're not on

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<v Speaker 1>that level. Therefore they have such a hard time going

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<v Speaker 1>through and getting through situations because of the mindsets that

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<v Speaker 1>they have getting into whatever their storms are. You have

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<v Speaker 1>to get to a place in life if you are

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<v Speaker 1>mental peace.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to get to.

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<v Speaker 1>A place in life where you love you enough not

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<v Speaker 1>to give your power to no one.

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<v Speaker 2>The only bowing I do is on my knees to

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<v Speaker 2>my God in prayer.

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<v Speaker 1>No man, no woman, no boy, no girl. And I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, well that's you, Cherry. I get that. But

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to tell you if you want peace, you

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<v Speaker 1>can't give up your power.

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<v Speaker 2>You just can't. When you give up your power, you're

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<v Speaker 2>always focusing.

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<v Speaker 1>On something, not concerning your own life, but somebody else's

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<v Speaker 1>always You're always focusing on something, and all it does

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<v Speaker 1>is bring a lot of stress in your life. You

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<v Speaker 1>have to love yourself enough not to put yourself through that.

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<v Speaker 1>And like I said, you're gonna hurt, you're gonna cry,

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna do it all along the way, but.

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna move on. You're gonna keep going. So it's

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<v Speaker 2>up to you.

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<v Speaker 1>If you allow a person to cause you stagnation, it's

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<v Speaker 1>up to you.

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<v Speaker 2>If you allow a person to cause you to not be.

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<v Speaker 1>Able to function in your life, that is only up

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<v Speaker 1>to you.

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<v Speaker 2>If that's what you choose, that's what you wanna get.

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<v Speaker 2>If you can move on and you stay there, you're making.

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<v Speaker 1>It bad for yourself. And I'm telling you this out

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<v Speaker 1>of love. With love, whoever you give your power to,

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<v Speaker 1>you lose it. Whatever you give your power to, you

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<v Speaker 1>lose it. And that's all I'm saying, and I'm leaving

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<v Speaker 1>it right there. Thank you for listening. Much much much

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<v Speaker 1>love to each and every one of you. If you

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<v Speaker 1>have something that's say, hey, reach out to me. And

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<v Speaker 1>if you feel I'm wrong or you don't like what

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<v Speaker 1>I said, we can talk about it. We can talk

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<v Speaker 1>about it. But I know what I'm talking about. So

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for listening. Reach out to me go to

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<v Speaker 1>my podcast page and give you my email. You can

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<v Speaker 1>reach out to me any time. I will respond. Please

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<v Speaker 1>share this episode again, much love to each and every

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<v Speaker 1>one of you. I end all episodes the same, and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope and I pray you do it, think on it,