WEBVTT

1
00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:07.000
<v Speaker 1>Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of

2
00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:11.759
<v Speaker 1>performance through strong human relations, team building, and golajiving. This

3
00:00:11.960 --> 00:00:16.399
<v Speaker 1>is the seven Minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul Fellavoldo.

4
00:00:21.920 --> 00:00:25.719
<v Speaker 2>Hello everyone, and welcome to the seven Minute Leadership Podcast.

5
00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:29.879
<v Speaker 2>It's episode seven twenty one. Today, I want to talk

6
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:34.560
<v Speaker 2>about something every leader experiences, but almost nobody says out loud.

7
00:00:35.479 --> 00:00:39.479
<v Speaker 2>We are all waiting for support from someone, a parent,

8
00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:43.679
<v Speaker 2>a spouse, a friend, a mentor, a co worker, a boss,

9
00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:47.960
<v Speaker 2>and even a business partner. And somewhere in life, every

10
00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:51.359
<v Speaker 2>single one of us is quietly hoping someone notices the

11
00:00:51.399 --> 00:00:55.560
<v Speaker 2>weight we are carrying. We hope someone checks in. We

12
00:00:55.640 --> 00:00:58.439
<v Speaker 2>hope somebody says, I believe in you. We hope somebody

13
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:02.240
<v Speaker 2>sees how hard we're trying. We hope somebody throws us

14
00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:07.239
<v Speaker 2>a rope when we're hanging off the edge emotionally, mentally, financially,

15
00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:12.400
<v Speaker 2>or professionally. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, and leadership

16
00:01:12.519 --> 00:01:17.159
<v Speaker 2>changes forever the moment you realize that there's a hidden

17
00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:21.959
<v Speaker 2>loneliness inside leadership that nobody prepares you for. It exists

18
00:01:22.280 --> 00:01:25.640
<v Speaker 2>in the office, in the command post, in the boardroom,

19
00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:30.599
<v Speaker 2>in the cockpit and even inside families. The higher somebody climbs,

20
00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:36.040
<v Speaker 2>the quieter the emotional support often becomes. People assume leaders

21
00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:39.840
<v Speaker 2>are fine because leaders look fine. That's one of the

22
00:01:39.879 --> 00:01:44.200
<v Speaker 2>greatest illusions in the world. Some leaders are giving motivational

23
00:01:44.239 --> 00:01:49.439
<v Speaker 2>speeches while privately running on fumes. Some managers are encouraging

24
00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:52.200
<v Speaker 2>their teams while wondering if anybody would notice if they

25
00:01:52.319 --> 00:01:56.560
<v Speaker 2>disappeared for a week. Some parents are holding entire families

26
00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:02.239
<v Speaker 2>together while silently hoping somebody asks if they're okay. Some

27
00:02:02.439 --> 00:02:07.040
<v Speaker 2>business owners are carrying payroll stress, legal stress, employee stress,

28
00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:10.960
<v Speaker 2>customer stress, and life stress while sitting in a meeting

29
00:02:11.039 --> 00:02:15.759
<v Speaker 2>pretending everything is under control. And the painful part is this.

30
00:02:15.879 --> 00:02:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes the support never comes, the call never comes, the

31
00:02:19.199 --> 00:02:25.319
<v Speaker 2>encouragement never comes, the recognition never comes, the rescue never comes.

32
00:02:26.039 --> 00:02:31.599
<v Speaker 2>That realization breaks some people and it builds others. Now

33
00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:36.039
<v Speaker 2>listen carefully, because this is where leadership begins separating itself

34
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:42.319
<v Speaker 2>from emotional dependency. Strong leaders eventually understand a difficult truth.

35
00:02:43.159 --> 00:02:49.080
<v Speaker 2>Support is beautiful when it arrives, dangerous when it becomes required.

36
00:02:49.879 --> 00:02:54.520
<v Speaker 2>There's a massive difference between appreciating support and emotionally collapsing

37
00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:58.159
<v Speaker 2>without it. Some of the strongest people in history learned

38
00:02:58.199 --> 00:03:03.080
<v Speaker 2>how to continue moving forward without applause, without backup, and

39
00:03:03.159 --> 00:03:06.919
<v Speaker 2>without reassurance, not because they wanted to, because life forced

40
00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:10.199
<v Speaker 2>them to. I remember hearing a phrase years ago that's

41
00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:14.599
<v Speaker 2>stuck with me. Some people are fighting battles nobody could see.

42
00:03:14.759 --> 00:03:18.879
<v Speaker 2>That applies to leadership more than almost anything else. You

43
00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:23.120
<v Speaker 2>have employees walking into work carrying invisible fear. You have

44
00:03:23.199 --> 00:03:27.719
<v Speaker 2>coworkers silently drowning in debt. You have leaders questioning themselves

45
00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:31.240
<v Speaker 2>every night. You have people smiling in meetings while their

46
00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:35.599
<v Speaker 2>entire personal life is falling apart. Everybody is waiting for

47
00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:41.199
<v Speaker 2>support somewhere, And because of that, leadership requires awareness beyond

48
00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:45.439
<v Speaker 2>the obvious. This is why emotionally intelligent leaders matter so much.

49
00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:51.479
<v Speaker 2>Episode three seventy seven, The Emotionally Intelligent Leader touched on

50
00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:55.879
<v Speaker 2>this exact idea of understanding what people may never verbalize.

51
00:03:56.240 --> 00:04:00.800
<v Speaker 2>The best leaders learn how to spot emotional exhaustion before

52
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:04.840
<v Speaker 2>somebody says a word. They notice change in behavior. They

53
00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:08.360
<v Speaker 2>notice silence, They notice withdrawal. They notice when somebody who

54
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:15.360
<v Speaker 2>normally laughs suddenly stops talking. Weak leaders only monitor productivity.

55
00:04:15.479 --> 00:04:20.519
<v Speaker 2>Strong leaders monitor people. And here's the deeper, lesson. Sometimes

56
00:04:21.079 --> 00:04:25.439
<v Speaker 2>the support people need most is unbelievably small. Not money,

57
00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:30.519
<v Speaker 2>not promotions, not giant speeches. Sometimes it's one sentence. I

58
00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:35.160
<v Speaker 2>noticed what you did. You handled that well. You matter here,

59
00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:39.720
<v Speaker 2>You're doing better than you think, and I'm glad you're

60
00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:43.879
<v Speaker 2>on this team. Those tiny moments can literally change the

61
00:04:43.959 --> 00:04:48.279
<v Speaker 2>direction of somebody's life. You may never know how it happened.

62
00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:53.120
<v Speaker 2>That's the scary power leaders hold. A leader can accidentally

63
00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:56.720
<v Speaker 2>destroy somebody's confidence in fifteen seconds. A leader can also

64
00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:02.439
<v Speaker 2>save somebody emotionally in fifteen seconds. Words matter, presence matters,

65
00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:07.319
<v Speaker 2>attention matters, and sadly, many people spend their entire lives

66
00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:11.480
<v Speaker 2>starving emotionally while standing in crowded rooms. And I'll take

67
00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:14.920
<v Speaker 2>this even further. One of the biggest mistakes leaders make

68
00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:18.600
<v Speaker 2>is waiting for support before they take action. They wait

69
00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:21.759
<v Speaker 2>for permission, They wait for confidence, they wait for validation,

70
00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:26.160
<v Speaker 2>They wait for everybody to believe in them first, and

71
00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:30.040
<v Speaker 2>that's a losing strategy. Some dreams will only happen after

72
00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:34.319
<v Speaker 2>you move without support. Some businesses only survive because the

73
00:05:34.360 --> 00:05:38.439
<v Speaker 2>owner kept going during the months nobody believed in the vision.

74
00:05:39.079 --> 00:05:43.279
<v Speaker 2>Some careers only succeed because somebody stayed disciplined during seasons

75
00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:48.959
<v Speaker 2>where nobody clapped for them. Some leaders became extraordinary because

76
00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:52.720
<v Speaker 2>they learned how to operate without external fuel. That does

77
00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:56.920
<v Speaker 2>not mean becoming cold. That does not mean becoming emotionally disconnected.

78
00:05:57.720 --> 00:06:01.959
<v Speaker 2>It means learning how to eternally stabilize yourself when the

79
00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:07.480
<v Speaker 2>outside world becomes unreliable because people will disappoint you. Sometimes

80
00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:13.160
<v Speaker 2>friends get distracted, co workers get selfish, families become overwhelmed,

81
00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:19.120
<v Speaker 2>organizations get political, and if your emotional survival depends completely

82
00:06:19.519 --> 00:06:25.680
<v Speaker 2>on external support, leadership becomes unstable. This is where personal

83
00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:32.519
<v Speaker 2>discipline enters the conversation. Daily routines matter, Mental resilience matters,

84
00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:38.759
<v Speaker 2>and intentional reflection matters. Protecting your emotional health matters. You

85
00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:44.279
<v Speaker 2>cannot pour confidence into everyone else while internally collapsing forever.

86
00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:51.399
<v Speaker 2>Even elite performers require maintenance. Pilots understand this. Elite athletes

87
00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:57.000
<v Speaker 2>understand this. Systems fail when maintenance stops. Humans are no different.

88
00:06:57.759 --> 00:07:00.240
<v Speaker 2>One of the greatest leadership skills in the world is

89
00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:05.079
<v Speaker 2>learning how to become your own reinforcement system during difficult seasons.

90
00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:09.839
<v Speaker 2>Not arrogance, not ego, internal stability. The ability to say

91
00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:14.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm disappointed, I wish I had more support, but I'm

92
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:20.600
<v Speaker 2>still moving forward. That mindset changes lives, and ironically, leaders

93
00:07:20.600 --> 00:07:24.560
<v Speaker 2>who survive those lonely seasons often become the very people

94
00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:28.360
<v Speaker 2>who provide support to others later because they remember what

95
00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:31.439
<v Speaker 2>it felt like to go without it. That creates empathy,

96
00:07:32.120 --> 00:07:40.720
<v Speaker 2>that creates awareness, that creates leaders people never forget. So

97
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:44.199
<v Speaker 2>here's the challenge for today. Somewhere around you right now

98
00:07:44.319 --> 00:07:48.360
<v Speaker 2>is a person quietly waiting for support. Maybe they're sitting

99
00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:51.279
<v Speaker 2>across from you at work, maybe they live in your house.

100
00:07:51.959 --> 00:07:54.879
<v Speaker 2>Maybe they report directly to you. Maybe they are the

101
00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:58.879
<v Speaker 2>strongest looking person in the room, and maybe nobody has

102
00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:02.800
<v Speaker 2>checked on them a very long time. Be the person

103
00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:06.360
<v Speaker 2>who notices. Because leadership is not always about giants, speeches,

104
00:08:06.399 --> 00:08:11.040
<v Speaker 2>million dollar strategies, or fancy business plans. Sometimes leadership is

105
00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:15.360
<v Speaker 2>one sentence delivered at the exact right moment. This has

106
00:08:15.439 --> 00:08:18.279
<v Speaker 2>been the seven minute Leadership Podcast, and I thank you

107
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:18.920
<v Speaker 2>for listening.

108
00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:23.839
<v Speaker 1>For more Paul Fell of Alito Podcasts, visit paulfellowalito dot com.