Speaker 1: Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of
Speaker 1: performance through strong human relations, team building, and golajiving. This
Speaker 1: is the seven Minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul Fellavoldo.
Speaker 2: Hello everyone, and welcome to the seven Minute Leadership Podcast.
Speaker 2: It's episode seven twenty one. Today, I want to talk
Speaker 2: about something every leader experiences, but almost nobody says out loud.
Speaker 2: We are all waiting for support from someone, a parent,
Speaker 2: a spouse, a friend, a mentor, a co worker, a boss,
Speaker 2: and even a business partner. And somewhere in life, every
Speaker 2: single one of us is quietly hoping someone notices the
Speaker 2: weight we are carrying. We hope someone checks in. We
Speaker 2: hope somebody says, I believe in you. We hope somebody
Speaker 2: sees how hard we're trying. We hope somebody throws us
Speaker 2: a rope when we're hanging off the edge emotionally, mentally, financially,
Speaker 2: or professionally. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, and leadership
Speaker 2: changes forever the moment you realize that there's a hidden
Speaker 2: loneliness inside leadership that nobody prepares you for. It exists
Speaker 2: in the office, in the command post, in the boardroom,
Speaker 2: in the cockpit and even inside families. The higher somebody climbs,
Speaker 2: the quieter the emotional support often becomes. People assume leaders
Speaker 2: are fine because leaders look fine. That's one of the
Speaker 2: greatest illusions in the world. Some leaders are giving motivational
Speaker 2: speeches while privately running on fumes. Some managers are encouraging
Speaker 2: their teams while wondering if anybody would notice if they
Speaker 2: disappeared for a week. Some parents are holding entire families
Speaker 2: together while silently hoping somebody asks if they're okay. Some
Speaker 2: business owners are carrying payroll stress, legal stress, employee stress,
Speaker 2: customer stress, and life stress while sitting in a meeting
Speaker 2: pretending everything is under control. And the painful part is this.
Speaker 2: Sometimes the support never comes, the call never comes, the
Speaker 2: encouragement never comes, the recognition never comes, the rescue never comes.
Speaker 2: That realization breaks some people and it builds others. Now
Speaker 2: listen carefully, because this is where leadership begins separating itself
Speaker 2: from emotional dependency. Strong leaders eventually understand a difficult truth.
Speaker 2: Support is beautiful when it arrives, dangerous when it becomes required.
Speaker 2: There's a massive difference between appreciating support and emotionally collapsing
Speaker 2: without it. Some of the strongest people in history learned
Speaker 2: how to continue moving forward without applause, without backup, and
Speaker 2: without reassurance, not because they wanted to, because life forced
Speaker 2: them to. I remember hearing a phrase years ago that's
Speaker 2: stuck with me. Some people are fighting battles nobody could see.
Speaker 2: That applies to leadership more than almost anything else. You
Speaker 2: have employees walking into work carrying invisible fear. You have
Speaker 2: coworkers silently drowning in debt. You have leaders questioning themselves
Speaker 2: every night. You have people smiling in meetings while their
Speaker 2: entire personal life is falling apart. Everybody is waiting for
Speaker 2: support somewhere, And because of that, leadership requires awareness beyond
Speaker 2: the obvious. This is why emotionally intelligent leaders matter so much.
Speaker 2: Episode three seventy seven, The Emotionally Intelligent Leader touched on
Speaker 2: this exact idea of understanding what people may never verbalize.
Speaker 2: The best leaders learn how to spot emotional exhaustion before
Speaker 2: somebody says a word. They notice change in behavior. They
Speaker 2: notice silence, They notice withdrawal. They notice when somebody who
Speaker 2: normally laughs suddenly stops talking. Weak leaders only monitor productivity.
Speaker 2: Strong leaders monitor people. And here's the deeper, lesson. Sometimes
Speaker 2: the support people need most is unbelievably small. Not money,
Speaker 2: not promotions, not giant speeches. Sometimes it's one sentence. I
Speaker 2: noticed what you did. You handled that well. You matter here,
Speaker 2: You're doing better than you think, and I'm glad you're
Speaker 2: on this team. Those tiny moments can literally change the
Speaker 2: direction of somebody's life. You may never know how it happened.
Speaker 2: That's the scary power leaders hold. A leader can accidentally
Speaker 2: destroy somebody's confidence in fifteen seconds. A leader can also
Speaker 2: save somebody emotionally in fifteen seconds. Words matter, presence matters,
Speaker 2: attention matters, and sadly, many people spend their entire lives
Speaker 2: starving emotionally while standing in crowded rooms. And I'll take
Speaker 2: this even further. One of the biggest mistakes leaders make
Speaker 2: is waiting for support before they take action. They wait
Speaker 2: for permission, They wait for confidence, they wait for validation,
Speaker 2: They wait for everybody to believe in them first, and
Speaker 2: that's a losing strategy. Some dreams will only happen after
Speaker 2: you move without support. Some businesses only survive because the
Speaker 2: owner kept going during the months nobody believed in the vision.
Speaker 2: Some careers only succeed because somebody stayed disciplined during seasons
Speaker 2: where nobody clapped for them. Some leaders became extraordinary because
Speaker 2: they learned how to operate without external fuel. That does
Speaker 2: not mean becoming cold. That does not mean becoming emotionally disconnected.
Speaker 2: It means learning how to eternally stabilize yourself when the
Speaker 2: outside world becomes unreliable because people will disappoint you. Sometimes
Speaker 2: friends get distracted, co workers get selfish, families become overwhelmed,
Speaker 2: organizations get political, and if your emotional survival depends completely
Speaker 2: on external support, leadership becomes unstable. This is where personal
Speaker 2: discipline enters the conversation. Daily routines matter, Mental resilience matters,
Speaker 2: and intentional reflection matters. Protecting your emotional health matters. You
Speaker 2: cannot pour confidence into everyone else while internally collapsing forever.
Speaker 2: Even elite performers require maintenance. Pilots understand this. Elite athletes
Speaker 2: understand this. Systems fail when maintenance stops. Humans are no different.
Speaker 2: One of the greatest leadership skills in the world is
Speaker 2: learning how to become your own reinforcement system during difficult seasons.
Speaker 2: Not arrogance, not ego, internal stability. The ability to say
Speaker 2: I'm disappointed, I wish I had more support, but I'm
Speaker 2: still moving forward. That mindset changes lives, and ironically, leaders
Speaker 2: who survive those lonely seasons often become the very people
Speaker 2: who provide support to others later because they remember what
Speaker 2: it felt like to go without it. That creates empathy,
Speaker 2: that creates awareness, that creates leaders people never forget. So
Speaker 2: here's the challenge for today. Somewhere around you right now
Speaker 2: is a person quietly waiting for support. Maybe they're sitting
Speaker 2: across from you at work, maybe they live in your house.
Speaker 2: Maybe they report directly to you. Maybe they are the
Speaker 2: strongest looking person in the room, and maybe nobody has
Speaker 2: checked on them a very long time. Be the person
Speaker 2: who notices. Because leadership is not always about giants, speeches,
Speaker 2: million dollar strategies, or fancy business plans. Sometimes leadership is
Speaker 2: one sentence delivered at the exact right moment. This has
Speaker 2: been the seven minute Leadership Podcast, and I thank you
Speaker 2: for listening.
Speaker 1: For more Paul Fell of Alito Podcasts, visit paulfellowalito dot com.