1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:04,559
Speaker 1: Ero dot net. It's a network of podcasts, twenty different

2
00:00:04,599 --> 00:00:07,799
podcasts to listen to a r r oe dot net.

3
00:00:07,839 --> 00:00:11,240
One of those podcasts is CTCs, a very popular show

4
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,599
about a group of people who happen to work at

5
00:00:13,599 --> 00:00:17,800
a grocery store. This is how it really goes down

6
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,800
ct CS. The customer is never right. Ero dot net

7
00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:26,280
a r r oe dot net. Enjoy your exploration.

8
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,199
Speaker 2: Hey air, it's Matt Ross.

9
00:00:28,239 --> 00:00:30,879
Speaker 1: Matt Ross. Listen to that voice. Man, Holy crap, did

10
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,079
you do radio one time?

11
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,799
Speaker 2: No? But I managed broadcasters. Oh what? Oh?

12
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,320
Speaker 1: So you understand pitch, volume and tone quite well?

13
00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:44,200
Speaker 2: Do I tried to to.

14
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,960
Speaker 3: I have to suspend my typical Queens New York accent

15
00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:51,320
when I'm trying to speak like a normal human.

16
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,200
Speaker 1: That's the way I was when I came down from Montana.

17
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,719
There are certain things that we say out there in

18
00:00:56,719 --> 00:00:59,079
those prairie lands of Montana they don't say in the South.

19
00:00:59,119 --> 00:01:01,240
And they would sit down with me and say, you

20
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,920
got to change your way, dude, and you got to

21
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,719
start sounding a little bit more southern. They're not going

22
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,200
to buy into you at all.

23
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:08,879
Speaker 2: So funny.

24
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,959
Speaker 3: So I lived in Charlotte, North Carolina. I see a

25
00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:13,040
seven O four areco.

26
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:14,400
Speaker 2: Where are you?

27
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,120
Speaker 1: I'm in South Charlotte and Valentine. Where you Where? Where

28
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:17,599
are you at?

29
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:18,599
Speaker 2: What do you know?

30
00:01:18,799 --> 00:01:22,799
Speaker 3: So I was running radio stations back in the day.

31
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,840
I'm an old guy and I lived in South Park.

32
00:01:26,159 --> 00:01:28,599
Oh yeah, and then I lived in the Piper Glen area.

33
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,840
Speaker 1: Well, Piper Glen is exactly where I am. That's exactly

34
00:01:30,879 --> 00:01:33,239
where I am. Oh my god. So you're familiar with

35
00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:36,040
this forest here that stretches between our neighborhoods. And I

36
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,920
mean there's so much positive and spiritual energy within these trees.

37
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:40,920
Speaker 2: Without a doubt.

38
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,640
Speaker 3: And I was there before that, we'll call it the

39
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:47,280
Outer Belt was old. I mean literally my home backed

40
00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:51,000
up to some woods that was being got backed up

41
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,879
to the actually a highway that they were building.

42
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:56,239
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, Oh it's there. It's there. Now it's turned

43
00:01:56,239 --> 00:01:58,519
the city and do something that I don't know. Man,

44
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,760
it's just a huge, huge, big at Atlanta is what

45
00:02:00,799 --> 00:02:01,159
it is.

46
00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:06,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is definitely and Atlanta in development.

47
00:02:07,519 --> 00:02:09,560
Speaker 1: One of the things that you've done, Matt here is

48
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,599
that you've tapped into where people are in the way

49
00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,360
of thinking about, you know, making that transformation at the

50
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,520
midlife level, because I you know, I'm out there on

51
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,439
the streets with the everyday person, because that's who I

52
00:02:20,439 --> 00:02:22,439
am as a broadcaster. I got to be with the people.

53
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,360
And I'm seeing this, And until I got your book,

54
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,360
I didn't know how to deal with it. And and

55
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,520
so if I don't know how to do it, neither

56
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,080
do they. And then here come, here comes Matt. Matt's

57
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,599
got an idea.

58
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,400
Speaker 3: Well, it's funny, and I can't really say that I

59
00:02:37,479 --> 00:02:41,199
knew how to deal with it early on.

60
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,400
Speaker 2: So so let's break it down.

61
00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:46,639
Speaker 3: Okay, if you're younger than thirty five, you're just trying

62
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,039
to figure out who you are.

63
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just getting in the game.

64
00:02:50,599 --> 00:02:52,719
Speaker 3: You get on the playing field, you're trying to build

65
00:02:52,759 --> 00:02:55,960
some competency and some skills. Then you get into this page,

66
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,560
this space where you're thirty five is we'll call it

67
00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:01,520
three middle age lift to get a little serious. And

68
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:05,879
then you've made some best generally, you know, maybe you've

69
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,039
gotten married, or you've got a career track and you've

70
00:03:08,039 --> 00:03:11,319
got kids or something, and now you sort of sort

71
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,599
of lived in your life in your forties. And in

72
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,479
my case, I woke up at fifty and I had

73
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:20,360
just been in constant motion. I'm a pretty smart guy,

74
00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:24,039
but I didn't always do everything right. And then literally

75
00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,840
at fifty, I had to sort of really step back

76
00:03:26,879 --> 00:03:30,199
and think about how I was going to behave Yeah.

77
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:30,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, see.

78
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,599
Speaker 1: I think that's one of the reasons why I started

79
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,240
daily writing in July of nineteen ninety four. I have

80
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:39,280
my thirties, my forties, fifties, and sixties in a daily journal,

81
00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:41,840
and I can go to it and so and I,

82
00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:43,560
but I don't go back to read it because I

83
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,800
feel like it's not for me. What about you in

84
00:03:46,439 --> 00:03:47,520
observing your life?

85
00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:50,240
Speaker 2: So that's a really interesting point.

86
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,719
Speaker 3: I would sort of challenge that, and and let me

87
00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:58,800
tell you why in going back and trying and telling

88
00:03:58,919 --> 00:04:03,800
my story. So I went back and reflected on my journey,

89
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,800
and you know what it did for me. It really

90
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:11,080
created this sense of appreciation for a how hard things

91
00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:14,800
are and how hard it is to get to a

92
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,439
place where you really feel at ease and at peace.

93
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,040
And it's it's just the human brain is just complicated,

94
00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,879
and the world is complicated, and so you know, when

95
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,439
you're in it, sometimes it feels like you're in battle.

96
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,480
Speaker 2: And I was.

97
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,120
Speaker 3: I was in battle from the time I was a child,

98
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,920
having grown up in some really adverse situations and fought

99
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,519
through them and always kept fighting. And I thought that

100
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,319
was normal, but it kind of in some ways wasn't.

101
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,800
Speaker 1: How important is it to surround yourself with the right

102
00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,279
people when you're trying to grow forward, because you know,

103
00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:50,199
you never want to be that person to point out

104
00:04:50,199 --> 00:04:52,319
and say, oh, he's stuck in his way. You don't

105
00:04:52,319 --> 00:04:54,600
want to hang out with him, he's he's really into

106
00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:56,079
his own thinking process.

107
00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,399
Speaker 2: Two things popped into my mind.

108
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,040
Speaker 3: Number One, I wrote in the book that's surrounding yourself

109
00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:06,439
with the right people maybe be the key difference in

110
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,240
success or not, or getting to a better place or not.

111
00:05:10,879 --> 00:05:15,879
You know, those influences around you are everything, and you know,

112
00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:19,000
we all sort of tend to gravitate to people who

113
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,720
are just like us, but that's not kind of what

114
00:05:21,759 --> 00:05:24,480
I mean. I mean people with great values, who care,

115
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,319
who do challenge you at times, who do have different

116
00:05:29,439 --> 00:05:32,600
opinions at times, and yet you could all come together

117
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,639
and still have share this sort of love for similar things.

118
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,040
So so you know, to me, that's an important piece.

119
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,600
And again I didn't realize that until I got a

120
00:05:44,639 --> 00:05:47,920
little bit older, I was very good at building teams at.

121
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,439
Speaker 2: Work to compliment me.

122
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,839
Speaker 3: But you know, I was just moving so fast and

123
00:05:53,759 --> 00:05:57,439
that I didn't always hang around the people that I

124
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,720
thought lifted me up. Another part of that in the

125
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,120
book that I write about, you have to hear this

126
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:08,720
saying where people say my thing is, oh.

127
00:06:07,519 --> 00:06:10,800
Speaker 2: All right, so you know what my thing is.

128
00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:15,600
Speaker 3: My thing could often be a blocking mechanism to hear

129
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:19,319
what your thing is. What I really believe is we

130
00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:24,000
have one of the keys to building yourself, better relationships,

131
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:28,319
better solutions is asking great questions. So one of my

132
00:06:28,399 --> 00:06:31,160
mentors said to me when I was a young guy

133
00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:35,560
in advertising sales, when somebody starts talking a customer and

134
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,879
they're sharing stuff.

135
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,240
Speaker 2: Don't come with all the answers, say tell me more.

136
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,160
Oh yeah, tell me more.

137
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,600
Speaker 3: Those three words have been so important to me because

138
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,240
what it is it does two things.

139
00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:49,680
Speaker 2: AI learn more about how you think.

140
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,600
Speaker 3: Maybe there's things in there that I was ready to judge,

141
00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:54,800
and now I'm hearing another perspective.

142
00:06:55,319 --> 00:06:57,720
Speaker 4: But you know what also happens. We build trust. We

143
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:03,199
build trust because you feel and hopefully it's real that

144
00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:05,720
I care about you, what you think and your opinion

145
00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:06,519
as opposed to.

146
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,319
Speaker 3: Me stepping on you going with well my thing is,

147
00:07:10,759 --> 00:07:13,279
and all of a sudden you're stuck in your thing

148
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,399
and you've lost to it. Night.

149
00:07:14,639 --> 00:07:16,079
Speaker 2: What I was trying to say.

150
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,759
Speaker 1: Boy, you are so right about that, because I've got

151
00:07:18,759 --> 00:07:20,800
a crutch right now where I'll go. You know, when

152
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:23,720
I was at this place and it's like, shut up,

153
00:07:23,759 --> 00:07:26,240
they don't care that you were there. You are here.

154
00:07:26,639 --> 00:07:28,920
And so therefore what I try to rely on is

155
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,439
something that you talk about in the book, and that

156
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,480
is I need to learn how to clarify the path.

157
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,560
Make it simple. Well, we learned that in radio, dude,

158
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,680
and I'm sure you probably preached it, you know, make

159
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,120
it simple. Stupid because that listener that they're listening, it's

160
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,720
not that they're stupid, it's just they're halfway listening to

161
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,480
you right now. Make it simple.

162
00:07:47,319 --> 00:07:49,319
Speaker 3: Well, it's funny you say that. Sometimes I tend to

163
00:07:49,399 --> 00:07:52,839
go a bit on a tangent. Dah, I'm not sure

164
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:55,600
I would be as good as at what you do.

165
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,560
I can make some great points, but my storytelling goes

166
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,759
from art point A to B two C. And sometimes

167
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:07,240
I see people losing, so I have to come back

168
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,800
to the sweet spot. And I see it in the

169
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,079
body language. I see it in their face, and then

170
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,240
I go, I'm losing them. I better get to the

171
00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:20,639
crescendo really quickly because they're out, They're completely stopped listening.

172
00:08:21,319 --> 00:08:23,399
Speaker 1: My god, you just hit something on the head there

173
00:08:23,439 --> 00:08:24,959
that that I think that a lot of people in

174
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,399
broadcasting and the everyday business world don't understand. And that

175
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,480
is body language. And and one of the things that

176
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,399
you cover inside your book are taking the skills that

177
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,240
you've got from other positions in your life and using them.

178
00:08:36,279 --> 00:08:38,600
For instance, like the I work at a grocery store

179
00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:41,080
out of choice. I just want to be with people.

180
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,639
I use every skill that I got in radio at

181
00:08:45,639 --> 00:08:49,200
that register because I've got a live audience, dude, and

182
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,799
they're right there in front of me, and I get

183
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,799
to see their body language. I get to hear their

184
00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:56,879
vocal tones. Whereas in radio, you assumed that. And I

185
00:08:56,879 --> 00:08:58,919
think that that's where a lot of us are lost

186
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,600
in real life is we assume we know what they're thinking.

187
00:09:03,399 --> 00:09:07,360
Speaker 3: You know what George Carlin said, his famous statement, the

188
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,159
Great George Carlin said, do you make an asset.

189
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840
Speaker 2: Of you and makeing it's true? And you've heard that

190
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:12,759
when you assume.

191
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 3: But you know, one of my earliest jobs, in fact,

192
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:16,879
my first job was working in.

193
00:09:16,799 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 2: The produce department of the supermarket. Oh yeah, and back

194
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:23,320
in the day, people would come up and they would hand.

195
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,200
Speaker 3: You a bag with the apples and you'd have to

196
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,399
weigh them and then take a marker and put two

197
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,399
dollars twenty two cents on it.

198
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,759
Speaker 2: I know, I'm dating myself, right. You'd hand it back

199
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:34,480
to the customer.

200
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,240
Speaker 3: But you know what I would do. I would look

201
00:09:36,279 --> 00:09:37,840
at them right away and I go, are they in

202
00:09:37,879 --> 00:09:41,799
a rush or are they sort of here? Because they

203
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,639
like to putter slowly around the supermarket, And if they

204
00:09:45,639 --> 00:09:48,720
were the putter, I'd kind of ask them some questions

205
00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:50,720
and I start to chat them.

206
00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:51,399
Speaker 2: Up a little bit.

207
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,120
Speaker 3: And I do like people, which is a which in

208
00:09:55,519 --> 00:09:58,519
my sense is a strength because I again I try

209
00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:01,639
to build rapport and connect. But you know, if you're

210
00:10:01,639 --> 00:10:05,320
in business also like that's also the pathway to achieving

211
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,559
your goals. What do you what did those people want

212
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,200
for me? I know what I want, but if I

213
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,240
could also make this win win, like I get what

214
00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:17,600
I want, but also solving their challenges in business or

215
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,480
in life, that's the win win. When I was coaching

216
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:24,080
and developing talent for years leading teams, that was the

217
00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:25,039
that was the be.

218
00:10:25,039 --> 00:10:25,840
Speaker 2: All end off of me.

219
00:10:26,039 --> 00:10:28,720
Speaker 1: Well, you use a power word in my heart, and

220
00:10:28,759 --> 00:10:31,639
it's a word grow. I never say let's go forward,

221
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,879
let's sy I always use that word grow. Where did

222
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,480
you meet up with that and decide to dance with it?

223
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,679
Because that word grow is a very powerful statement.

224
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,200
Speaker 3: So my new book that came out a couple of

225
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:48,639
weeks ago is called grow or Fold, and the there

226
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,679
was an organic flavor to that as a title for

227
00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:54,320
the book. At fifty years old, my life was in

228
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,679
free fall and I was literally sitting in my basement

229
00:10:57,759 --> 00:10:59,840
on one of the worst nights of my life, staring

230
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:03,720
in the dark, and the thought popped into my head

231
00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:06,919
that said, are you going to fold? Which was a

232
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,960
strange thought. Here I was at one of my worst

233
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,720
moments and now I'm beating myself up. And I sat

234
00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:13,639
there and I paused, and then all of a sudden,

235
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,759
something popped in my head said or are you going

236
00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:21,080
to grow? And the grow or full became a mantra

237
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,519
for me. I've always been super growth oriented. I've always

238
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,600
been a learner I probably set the world record for

239
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:31,639
most self help books read, which is kind of a

240
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,320
strange thing to tell people because it means like you've

241
00:11:35,399 --> 00:11:40,000
always been sort of confused and searching, and but I

242
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:40,840
view that.

243
00:11:40,799 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 2: As a positive. Yep, if you have a growth mantra.

244
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:48,759
Speaker 3: It says that you know where you are, maybe even

245
00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:51,480
pretty good, but maybe there's even a better place to

246
00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:55,639
get to if you get the right fuel. Intellectual, emotional, functional,

247
00:11:56,039 --> 00:12:01,360
and that piece growth is about functional, emotional, and creative growth.

248
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,480
Those are the three components to me of having a

249
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:05,200
growth plan.

250
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,120
Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Matt Ross coming

251
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:12,360
up next, the name of his book grow or Fold.

252
00:12:12,519 --> 00:12:15,279
We are back with Matt Ross. So then, how do

253
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,039
you talk to that inner child that's still probably a

254
00:12:18,039 --> 00:12:21,159
pre teenager or an early teenager in the way of going.

255
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,639
They knew what you were going to be when you

256
00:12:22,639 --> 00:12:24,559
were gonna get older. You either listened to them and

257
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,759
then did it when you were fifty, or you tried

258
00:12:26,799 --> 00:12:29,039
to guide them along the way. How do you talk

259
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,960
to that person saying that, look, here we are now.

260
00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,600
I like your plans still at the age you are,

261
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,480
but we're going to have to change.

262
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,679
Speaker 3: So I would tell them that they're working progress, oh good,

263
00:12:41,759 --> 00:12:44,240
And no matter what they think, there's no way they

264
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:49,159
could have a definitive, clear guidance where are they're going to.

265
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,600
Speaker 2: Get to and what the future is going to look like.

266
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:57,279
Speaker 3: So my only recommendation to them three work your teloff,

267
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:05,720
invest in your development, own personal growth and development intellectually, spiritually, functionally, physically, mentally,

268
00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:08,840
all of that, and find some good mentors and guides.

269
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,200
Because if you find people who take an interest in

270
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:15,600
you and have already been a few steps further.

271
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,240
Speaker 2: Down the road, then that's it.

272
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,159
Speaker 3: Man. You've got somebody, somebody who's emotionally invested in your growth,

273
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,200
and somebody who can go to you and they will

274
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,600
call you out and check you when they think you're

275
00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:31,639
off plan for the right reasons, not to just one

276
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,919
up you, but to give you that point of view.

277
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,200
And I think mentorship is the key thing. And trying

278
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,279
to find someone early in your life that well and

279
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,440
not just your parents, not just your friends. We'll call

280
00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:46,759
this a third party, objective person who cares about you

281
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:47,480
and believes in you.

282
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:50,559
Speaker 1: Well. Your book is a book of activation. For a

283
00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:52,879
good example would be when you talk about wisdom, you

284
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,600
say that it's something that you earn. And we live

285
00:13:55,639 --> 00:13:57,919
in this age of chat GPT and I don't know

286
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,679
how many times I tell people that's not about wisdom.

287
00:14:00,919 --> 00:14:03,679
If you don't go out there and experience something, you're

288
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,320
not gonna get wisdom. All you've got is context. You've

289
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,279
got you've got content. Go start a podcast, go do

290
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,559
something with that information. But if all you're going to

291
00:14:11,639 --> 00:14:13,879
do is about things for me from chat GPT, we're

292
00:14:13,879 --> 00:14:14,559
not winning here.

293
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think there's something also about how the brain works.

294
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:22,960
Speaker 3: Right, So problem solving, when you get into trying to

295
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:27,000
solve a problem and you're doing the research, and you're investigating,

296
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:30,600
and you're trialing things and you're measuring. This is what

297
00:14:30,639 --> 00:14:33,000
we do in business, but we should also do it

298
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,919
in life. And I talk about treating yourself like your business. Yes,

299
00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:42,000
so you learn by doing, you learn by making these mistakes,

300
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,879
And there's something that happens, probably at the celluarial level

301
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:51,279
in the brain that you make these sort of important

302
00:14:51,399 --> 00:14:55,600
check marks. I tried that. I went down that path.

303
00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:58,679
I had an intellectual investment in it, and it was

304
00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:02,240
right or wrong, and I acknowledged it, and I moved

305
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,480
to the next one. When you're just doing a query online.

306
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:10,879
You don't have the intellectual rigor invested in it. So

307
00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:15,200
then what happens is just sort of absorbing data and

308
00:15:15,279 --> 00:15:19,840
reading it. But I don't think it actually enhances your functionality.

309
00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:20,639
Speaker 2: If that makes sense.

310
00:15:20,799 --> 00:15:22,440
Speaker 1: Oh, it does make sense, because I'll tell you what.

311
00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:24,240
Just to kind of piss off the world, what I

312
00:15:24,279 --> 00:15:26,600
did as a broadcaster is that you know, everybody is

313
00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:29,000
so ai AI. So I decided to do a show

314
00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:32,559
with Alexa and so and so so I'm and what

315
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,399
it is is that I take the stuff that I've

316
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:37,080
got in my my forty some odd years of daily writing,

317
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,279
and then I challenge her and she cannot put the

318
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,679
emotion in it that I do. And what so the

319
00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:45,240
invisible word to those who may pick up on it,

320
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:47,840
they might, And the thing is is that they may

321
00:15:47,879 --> 00:15:50,480
pick up on the idea the human versus the computer.

322
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,960
The human is winning because he's bringing emotion.

323
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:57,519
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean, and I think the emotion pieces is

324
00:15:57,559 --> 00:16:00,799
a critical thing because it can't measure my passion, right,

325
00:16:01,399 --> 00:16:07,240
it can't measure everything, every feeling, every experience that I've had.

326
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,399
It's measuring in linear fashion the question that I've asked,

327
00:16:10,639 --> 00:16:12,320
So I recently asked it to build a trip by

328
00:16:12,399 --> 00:16:14,120
itinerary for a trip that I want to go on.

329
00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:17,600
That's a beautiful way to use it to compress the

330
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,480
amount of time it would take me to do that

331
00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:22,679
research right, and then I could ask some more questions.

332
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,679
Speaker 5: But you know what, whether I stay at this hotel

333
00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:28,200
or that hotel is now that I call a mission

334
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:32,440
critical decision that I need to be emotionally engaged in

335
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,519
and invested in building intellectual resources around.

336
00:16:35,639 --> 00:16:38,559
Speaker 1: One thing that I'm seeing And I got to find

337
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,360
it in your book grow or Fold, and that is

338
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,960
is that how people at around fifty years old, they

339
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,639
start going into what I call grumpy person syndrome. And

340
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,440
oh my god. And I love taking someone that has it.

341
00:16:52,759 --> 00:16:54,840
I like just talking to them. I because I think

342
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,159
they're screaming to be heard.

343
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:57,519
Speaker 2: Yeah.

344
00:16:57,519 --> 00:17:00,519
Speaker 3: I think there's a few reasons. Because I did a

345
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,559
talk recently. I was going to do a TED talk

346
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,359
called your midlife Moment. And what we often don't know

347
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,200
is the layers of complexity that people are dealing with

348
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,880
in their life that they have not solved for. And

349
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:18,160
in some ways they have this fear and anxiety and stress,

350
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:22,799
and they know that they feel vulnerable at fifty, for

351
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,240
the first time I felt vulnerable physically mentally. I had

352
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,039
always just stayed in motion. I had great stabb and

353
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,759
I always felt young. All of a sudden, now I'm like, God,

354
00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:36,359
what got me here is won't get me there? And

355
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,240
I'd better start really trying to think more deeply of

356
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:43,279
being more honest about what I need to solve. And

357
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,279
so I think in some respects the complexity of midlife

358
00:17:47,839 --> 00:17:51,400
is what they're dealing with. But no one knows, Like

359
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,920
no one knew how complex my life was. I got

360
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,519
a happy face most of the time. I'm a positive guy.

361
00:17:57,039 --> 00:18:01,000
I wasn't sharing the sleepless nights every night and drinking

362
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,359
too much alcohol and trying to really sort of suppress

363
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,759
all of the dark thoughts that I was having.

364
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 1: So then what do you do in situations where as

365
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,640
you grow older you begin to understand Yoda better? Do

366
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,960
you understand what I mean by that? So you do,

367
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,359
don't you?

368
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:17,599
Speaker 2: Oh?

369
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,119
Speaker 1: My god?

370
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:24,799
Speaker 2: I do you know? You know? When you do?

371
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,799
Speaker 3: When you start to make progress and you start to reflect,

372
00:18:28,599 --> 00:18:34,119
I think you start to reinforce the positive emotions that

373
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,599
you need to take with you going forward. There's a

374
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:40,039
book called The Body Keeps the Score. I'm not sure

375
00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:40,759
if you've ever heard of it.

376
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 2: Wow, it's one of the.

377
00:18:41,799 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 3: Great books of all time that actually deals with overcoming

378
00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:51,039
post traumatic stress and what it says in essence, those

379
00:18:51,079 --> 00:18:56,839
people who've overcome the most challenging PTSD, here's what they

380
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,119
did when they made some changes that got to to

381
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:00,799
a better place.

382
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,920
Speaker 2: They made sure they documented what it.

383
00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:08,559
Speaker 3: Was, where they were, what they learned, and continue to

384
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:12,480
think and think about that regularly because you're reinforcing the

385
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:17,000
positive steps you've made as you move going forward. So

386
00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:20,720
when you've become a little more Yoda centric, it comes

387
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:24,559
with this fact that you've now got some wisdom because

388
00:19:24,599 --> 00:19:27,759
you've fought the fight. You've been through the battles, and

389
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:31,440
you know, I think at sixty five, when you leave

390
00:19:31,519 --> 00:19:34,880
middle age and you leave in that club, you know

391
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:37,160
a lot of people maybe are going on to their

392
00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:41,559
older adult years thinking like it's all downhill, and it's

393
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,599
not because maybe you haven't gotten to crystallize it prior to.

394
00:19:45,759 --> 00:19:48,599
But you can still make change happen, and you can

395
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,839
still refine how you're thinking. And the journey of life

396
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,160
is really about that. It's on you to create context

397
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,279
for where you are and where you want to get

398
00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:59,519
to and what's the work you have to do to

399
00:19:59,559 --> 00:19:59,920
get there.

400
00:20:00,039 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 1: You need your own podcast, you really do. Would I

401
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,680
would sit there and tune into you as I'm driving

402
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,799
in the car, just to hear your inside scoop and

403
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,359
to bring your journey forward.

404
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 2: That's nice of you.

405
00:20:10,559 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 1: Wow. Where can people go to find out more about you?

406
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:16,279
Because they until they put their hands on these pages

407
00:20:16,319 --> 00:20:18,640
and they need the physical book. I realized the ebook

408
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,519
is cool, but there's just something about this physical book

409
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:23,880
that you can touch it and you can put a

410
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,319
highlighter on it, and that's what I love about it.

411
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 3: Thank you a few different ways, of course, anywhere online

412
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:30,720
grower fold.

413
00:20:30,799 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 2: Matt Ross is my name. That's the book.

414
00:20:33,559 --> 00:20:38,799
Speaker 3: I'm doing a talk actually this Sunday at this legendary

415
00:20:38,839 --> 00:20:41,279
place in New York and people could stream it three

416
00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:45,480
pm on Sunday at the ninety second Street y in

417
00:20:45,559 --> 00:20:49,240
New York with a legendary New York radio broadcaster named Kendesho.

418
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,079
Also my website Matt Ross dot com. I'm just getting started,

419
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,960
you know, I still run a business. Just I'm not

420
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,400
sure your audience knows this. I was in radio for

421
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,240
twenty years I pickame the CEO of the School of

422
00:21:02,319 --> 00:21:06,160
Rock and built that brand, and now I run a

423
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,519
business that teaches are in digital media and design, just

424
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,880
like the School of Rock to kids and adults. So

425
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,119
I'm I'm that guy who's trying to also celebrate the

426
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,680
importance of creative growth as we age. And I'm not

427
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,000
sure I'm to have a podcast because I also having

428
00:21:21,079 --> 00:21:23,319
run radio stations, I know the.

429
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 2: Work that goes into I have respect.

430
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 3: I have respect, But now that I'm sixty four going

431
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,200
on sixty five, I have to lead in on what

432
00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:35,279
I'm really great at and really love to do. And

433
00:21:35,319 --> 00:21:38,559
I love teaching people to grow and help them. And

434
00:21:39,039 --> 00:21:41,359
I've got this business that we're trying to germinate and

435
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,119
continue to grow, and I want to have some downtime

436
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:44,960
to write more books.

437
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,279
Speaker 1: Oh God, I love where your heart is. You got

438
00:21:47,279 --> 00:21:49,240
to come back to this show anytime in the future, Matt.

439
00:21:49,319 --> 00:21:50,920
The door is always going to be open.

440
00:21:51,319 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 2: Your friend, appreciate you.

441
00:21:53,039 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: Will you be brilliant today? Okay, thanks