Speaker 1: Chapter twenty three of Persuasion. This is a LibriVox recording.
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Speaker 1: by Elizabeth Klett. Persuasion by Jane Austen, Chapter twenty three.
Speaker 1: One day only had passed since Anne's conversation with Missus Smith,
Speaker 1: but a keener interest had succeeded, and she was now
Speaker 1: so little touched by mister Elliot's conduct except by its
Speaker 1: effects in one quarter, that it became a matter of
Speaker 1: course the next morning still to defer her explanatory visit
Speaker 1: in Rivers Street, she had promised to be with the
Speaker 1: Musgroves from breakfast to dinner. Her faith was plighted, and
Speaker 1: mister Eliot's character, like the Sultanes Shahrazad's head, must live
Speaker 1: another day. She could not keep her appointment punctually. However,
Speaker 1: the weather was unfavorable, and she had grew over the
Speaker 1: rain on her friend's account and felt it very much
Speaker 1: on her own before she was able to attempt the walk.
Speaker 1: When she reached the White Hart and made her way
Speaker 1: to the proper apartment, she found herself neither arriving quite
Speaker 1: in time. Nor The first to arrive the party before
Speaker 1: her were Missus Musgrove, talking to Missus Croft and Captain
Speaker 1: Harville to Captain Wentworth, and she immediately heard that Mary
Speaker 1: and Henrietta, too impatient to wait, had gone out the
Speaker 1: moment it had cleared, but would be back again soon,
Speaker 1: and that the strictest injunctions had been left with Missus
Speaker 1: Musgrove to keep her there till they returned. She had
Speaker 1: only to submit, sit down, be outwardly composed, and feel
Speaker 1: herself plunged at once. In all the agitations which she
Speaker 1: had merely laid her account of tasting a little before
Speaker 1: the morning closed, there was no delay, no waste of time.
Speaker 1: She was deep in the happiness of such misery, or
Speaker 1: the misery of such happiness. Instantly, two minutes after her
Speaker 1: entering the room, Captain Wentworth said, we will write the
Speaker 1: letter we were talking of Harville now, if you will
Speaker 1: give me materials. Materials were at hand on a separate table.
Speaker 1: He went to it, and, nearly turning his back to them,
Speaker 1: all was engrossed by writing. Missus Musgrove was giving Missus
Speaker 1: Croft the history of her eldest daughter's engagement, and just
Speaker 1: in that inconvenient tone of voice, which was perfectly audible
Speaker 1: while it pretended to be a whisper. Anne felt that
Speaker 1: she did not belong to the conversation, And yet as
Speaker 1: Captain Harville seemed thoughtful and not disposed to talk, she
Speaker 1: could not avoid hearing many undesirable particulars, such as how
Speaker 1: mister Musgrove and my brother Hayter had met again and
Speaker 1: again to talk it over what my brother Hayter had
Speaker 1: said one day, and what mister Musgrove had proposed the next,
Speaker 1: and what had occurred to my sister Hayter, and what
Speaker 1: the young people had wished, and what I said at
Speaker 1: first I never could consent to, but was afterwards persuaded
Speaker 1: to think might do very well and a great deal
Speaker 1: in the same style of open hearted communication minutia, which,
Speaker 1: even with every advantage of taste and delicacy which good
Speaker 1: Missus Musgrove could not give, could be properly interesting only
Speaker 1: to the principles. Missus Croft was attending with great good humor,
Speaker 1: and whenever she spoke at all, it was very sensibly.
Speaker 1: Anne hoped the gentlemen might each be too much self
Speaker 1: occupied to hear, and so ma'am, all these things considered,
Speaker 1: said Missus Musgrove in her powerful whisper. Though we could
Speaker 1: have wished it different, Yet altogether we did not think
Speaker 1: it fair to stand out any longer. For Charles Hayter
Speaker 1: was quite wild about it, and Henrietta was pretty near
Speaker 1: as bad, and so we thought they had better marry
Speaker 1: at once and make the best of it, as many
Speaker 1: others have done before them. At any rate, said I,
Speaker 1: it will be better than a long engagement. That is
Speaker 1: precisely what I was going to observe, cried missus Croft.
Speaker 1: I would rather have young people settle on a small
Speaker 1: income at once and have to struggle with a few
Speaker 1: difficulties together than be involved in a long engagement. I
Speaker 1: always think that no mutual, Oh, dear missus Croft, cried
Speaker 1: missus Musgrove, unable to let her finish her speech. There
Speaker 1: is nothing I so abominate for young people as a
Speaker 1: long engagement. It is what I always protested against from
Speaker 1: my children. It is all very well, I used to say,
Speaker 1: for young people to be engaged if there is a
Speaker 1: certainty of their being able to marry in six months
Speaker 1: or even in twelve. But a long engagement, yes, dear ma'am,
Speaker 1: said missus Croft. Or an uncertain engagement, an engagement which
Speaker 1: may be long to begin, without knowing that at such
Speaker 1: a time there will be the means of marrying. I
Speaker 1: hold to be very unsafe and unwise, and what I
Speaker 1: think all parents should prevent as far as they can.
Speaker 1: Anne found an unexpected interest here. She felt its application
Speaker 1: to herself, felt it in a nervous thrill all over her,
Speaker 1: and at the same moment that her eyes instinctively glanced
Speaker 1: toward the distant table, Captain Wentworth's pen ceased to move,
Speaker 1: his head was raised, pausing, listening, and he turned round
Speaker 1: the next instant to give a look, one quick conscious
Speaker 1: look at her. The two ladies continued to talk, to
Speaker 1: re urge the same admitted truths and enforce them with
Speaker 1: such examples of the ill effect of a contrary practice
Speaker 1: as had fallen within their observation. But Anne heard nothing. Distinctly,
Speaker 1: it was only a buzz of words in her ear,
Speaker 1: and her mind was in confusion. Captain Harville, who had
Speaker 1: in truth been hearing none of it, now left his
Speaker 1: seat and moved to a window, and Anne, seeming to
Speaker 1: watch him, though it was from thorough absence of mind
Speaker 1: became gradually sensible that he was inviting her to join him.
Speaker 1: Where he stood. He looked at her with a smile
Speaker 1: and a little motion of the head which expressed, come
Speaker 1: to me, I have something to say. And the unaffected,
Speaker 1: easy kindness of manner, which denoted the feelings of an
Speaker 1: older acquaintance than he really was, strongly enforced the invitation.
Speaker 1: She roused herself and went to him. The window at
Speaker 1: which he stood was at the other end of the
Speaker 1: room from where the two ladies were sitting, and though
Speaker 1: nearer to Captain Wentworth's table, not very near. As she
Speaker 1: joined him, Captain Harville's countenance reassumed the serious, thoughtful expression
Speaker 1: which seemed its natural character. Look here, said he unfolding
Speaker 1: a parcel in his hand and displaying a small miniature painting.
Speaker 1: Do you know who that is? Certainly Captain Bennick, Yes,
Speaker 1: and you may guess who it is for. But in
Speaker 1: a deep tone, it was not done for her, Miss Eliot.
Speaker 1: Do you remember our walking together at lyme and grieving
Speaker 1: for him? I little thought then, but no matter. This
Speaker 1: was drawn at the Cape. He met with a clever
Speaker 1: young German artist at the Cape, and in compliance with
Speaker 1: a promise to my poor sister sat to him and
Speaker 1: was bringing it home for her. And I have now
Speaker 1: the charge of getting it properly set for another. It
Speaker 1: was a commission to me, but who else was there
Speaker 1: to employ? I hope I can allow for him. I
Speaker 1: am not sorry indeed, to make it over to another.
Speaker 1: He undertakes it, looking towards Captain Wentworth. He is writing
Speaker 1: about it now, And with a quivering lip, he wound
Speaker 1: up the hall by adding, poor Fanny, she would not
Speaker 1: have forgotten him so soon. No, replied Anne, in a
Speaker 1: low feeling voice, that I can easily believe it was
Speaker 1: not in her nature she doated on him. It would
Speaker 1: not be the nature of any woman who truly loved
Speaker 1: Captain Harville smiled as much as to say, do you
Speaker 1: claim that for your sex? And she answered the question
Speaker 1: smiling also, yes, we certainly do not forget you as
Speaker 1: soon as you forget us. It is perhaps our fate
Speaker 1: rather than our merit. We cannot help ourselves. We live
Speaker 1: at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us.
Speaker 1: You are forced on exertion. You have always a profession,
Speaker 1: pursuits business of some sort or other, to take you
Speaker 1: back into the world immediately, and continual occupation and change
Speaker 1: soon weaken impressions. Granting your assertion that the world does
Speaker 1: all this so soon for men, which, however, I do
Speaker 1: not think I shall grant, it does not apply to Bennick.
Speaker 1: He has not been forced upon any exertion. The peace
Speaker 1: turned him on shore at the very moment, and he
Speaker 1: has been living with us in our little family circle
Speaker 1: ever since. True, said Anne, Very true, I did not recollect.
Speaker 1: But what shall we say now, Captain Harville. If the
Speaker 1: change be not from outward circumstances, it must be from within.
Speaker 1: It must be nature, man's nature which has done the
Speaker 1: business for Captain Bennick. No, no, it is not man's nature.
Speaker 1: I will not allow it to be more man's nature
Speaker 1: than woman's, to be inconstant and forget those they do
Speaker 1: love or have loved. I believe the reverse. I believe
Speaker 1: in a true analogy between our bodily frames and our
Speaker 1: mental and that as our bodies are the strongest, so
Speaker 1: are our feelings, capable of bearing most rough usage and
Speaker 1: riding out the heaviest weather. Your feelings may be the strongest,
Speaker 1: replied Anne. But the same spirit of analogy will authorize
Speaker 1: me to assert that ours are the most tender. Man
Speaker 1: is more robust than woman, but he is not longer lived,
Speaker 1: which exactly explains my view of the nature of their attachments. Nay,
Speaker 1: it would be too hard upon you if it were otherwise.
Speaker 1: You have difficulties and privations and dangers enough to struggle with.
Speaker 1: You are always laboring and toiling, exposed to every risk
Speaker 1: and hardship. Your home country friends, all quitted neither time,
Speaker 1: nor health nor life to be called your own. It
Speaker 1: would be hard, indeed, with a faltering voice, if woman's
Speaker 1: feelings were to be added to all this. We shall
Speaker 1: never agree upon this question, Captain Harville was beginning to say,
Speaker 1: when a slight noise called their attention to Captain Wentworth's
Speaker 1: hitherto perfectly quiet division of the room. It was nothing
Speaker 1: more than that his pen had fallen down. But Anne
Speaker 1: was startled at finding him nearer than she had supposed,
Speaker 1: and half inclined to suspect that the pen had fallen
Speaker 1: because he had been occupied by them striving to catch sounds,
Speaker 1: which yet she did not think he could have caught.
Speaker 1: Have you finished your letter, said Captain Harville, not quite
Speaker 1: a few lines more? I shall have done in five minutes.
Speaker 1: There is no hurry on my side. I am only
Speaker 1: ready whenever you are. I am in very good anchorage here,
Speaker 1: smiling at Anne, well supplied, and want for nothing. No
Speaker 1: hurry for a signal at all, Well, miss Elliot, lowering
Speaker 1: his voice as I was saying, we shall never agree.
Speaker 1: I suppose upon this point no man and woman would probably,
Speaker 1: But let me observe that all his are against you,
Speaker 1: all stories, prose and verse. If I had such a
Speaker 1: memory as Bennick, I could bring you fifty quotations in
Speaker 1: a moment on my side of the argument. And I
Speaker 1: do not think I ever opened a book in my
Speaker 1: life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy.
Speaker 1: Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. But perhaps
Speaker 1: you will say these were all written by men. Perhaps
Speaker 1: I shall, yes, yes, if you please, no reference to
Speaker 1: examples and books. Men have had every advantage of us
Speaker 1: in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in
Speaker 1: so much higher a degree the pen has been in
Speaker 1: their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything.
Speaker 1: But how shall we prove anything? We never shall, We
Speaker 1: never can expect to prove anything upon such a point.
Speaker 1: It is a difference of opinion which does not admit
Speaker 1: of proof. We each begin, probably with a little bias
Speaker 1: towards our own sex, and upon that bias build every
Speaker 1: circumstance in favor of it which has occurred within our
Speaker 1: own circle. Many of which circumstances, perhaps those very cases
Speaker 1: which strike us the most, may be precisely such as
Speaker 1: cannot be brought forward without betraying a confidence, or in
Speaker 1: some respect saying what should not be said. Ah, cried
Speaker 1: Captain Harville, in a tone of strong feeling. If I
Speaker 1: could but make you comprehend what a man suffers when
Speaker 1: he takes a last look at his wife and children,
Speaker 1: and watches the boat that he has sent them off
Speaker 1: in as long as it is in sight, and then
Speaker 1: turns away and says, God knows whether we ever meet again.
Speaker 1: And then if I could convey to you the glow
Speaker 1: of his soul when he does see them again, when
Speaker 1: coming back after a twelve month's absence, perhaps, and obliged
Speaker 1: to put into another port, he calculates how soon it
Speaker 1: be possible to get them there, pretending to deceive himself
Speaker 1: and saying they cannot be here till such a day.
Speaker 1: But all the while hoping for them twelve hours sooner,
Speaker 1: and seeing them arrive at last, as if Heaven had
Speaker 1: given them wings by many hours sooner. Still, if I
Speaker 1: could explain to you all this, on all that a
Speaker 1: man can bear and do, and glories to do, for
Speaker 1: the sake of these treasures of his existence, I speak
Speaker 1: you know only of such men as have hearts pressing
Speaker 1: his own with emotion, Oh, cried Anne eagerly. I hope
Speaker 1: I do justice to all that is felt by you
Speaker 1: and by those who resemble you. God forbid that I
Speaker 1: should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of
Speaker 1: my fellow creatures. I should deserve utter contempt if I
Speaker 1: dared to suppose that true attachment and constancy were known
Speaker 1: only by women. No, I believe you capable of everything
Speaker 1: great and good in your married lives. I believe you
Speaker 1: equal to every important exertion, to every domestic forbearance, so
Speaker 1: long as if I may be allowed the expression, so
Speaker 1: long as you have an object. I mean, while the
Speaker 1: woman you love lives and lives for you all the
Speaker 1: privilege I claim for my own sex. It is not
Speaker 1: a very enviable one. You need not covet. It is
Speaker 1: that of loving longest when existence or when hope is gone.
Speaker 1: She could not immediately have uttered another sentence. Her heart
Speaker 1: was too full, her breath too much oppressed. You are
Speaker 1: a good soul, cried Captain Harville, putting his hand on
Speaker 1: her arm, quite affectionately. There is no quarreling with you.
Speaker 1: And when I think of Bennock, my tongue is tied.
Speaker 1: Their attention was called towards the others. Missus Croft was
Speaker 1: taking leave here, Frederick, you and I part company, I believe,
Speaker 1: said she. I am going home, and you have an
Speaker 1: engagement with your friend to night. We may have the
Speaker 1: pleasure of all meeting again at your party. Turning to Anne,
Speaker 1: we had your sister's card yesterday, and I understood Frederick
Speaker 1: had a card too, though I did not see it.
Speaker 1: And you what disengaged? Frederick? Are you not as well
Speaker 1: as ourselves? Captain Wentworth was folding up a letter in
Speaker 1: great haste, and either could not or would not answer fully. Yes,
Speaker 1: said he very true. Here we separate, but Harville and
Speaker 1: I shall soon be after you, that is Harville. If
Speaker 1: you are ready, I am in half a minute. I
Speaker 1: know you will not be sorry to be off. I
Speaker 1: shall be at your service. In half a minute, Missus
Speaker 1: Croft left them, and Captain Wentworth, having sealed his letter
Speaker 1: with great rapidity, was indeed ready, and had even a hurried,
Speaker 1: agitated air which showed impatience to be gone. Anne knew
Speaker 1: not how to understand it. She had the kindest good morning,
Speaker 1: God bless you from Captain Harville, but from him not
Speaker 1: a word nor a look. He had passed out of
Speaker 1: the room without a look. She had only time, however,
Speaker 1: to move closer to the table where he had been writing.
Speaker 1: When footsteps were heard returning. The door opened. It was himself.
Speaker 1: He begged their pardon, but he had forgotten his gloves,
Speaker 1: and instantly crossing the room to the writing table, he
Speaker 1: drew out a letter from under the scattered paper, placed
Speaker 1: it before Anne, with eyes of glowing entreaty fixed on
Speaker 1: her for a time, and hastily collecting his gloves, was
Speaker 1: again out of the room, almost before missus Musgrove was
Speaker 1: aware of his being in it. The work of an instant,
Speaker 1: the revolution which one instant had made in Anne was
Speaker 1: almost beyond expression. The letter, with a direction hardly legible
Speaker 1: to miss a e, was evidently the one which he
Speaker 1: had been folding so hastily. While supposed to be writing
Speaker 1: only to Captain Bennock, he had been also addressing her.
Speaker 1: On the contents of that letter depended all which this
Speaker 1: world could do for her. Anything was possible, anything might
Speaker 1: be defied. Rather than suspense, Missus Musgrove had little arrangements
Speaker 1: of her own at her own table. To their protection
Speaker 1: she must trust, and, sinking into the chair which he
Speaker 1: had occupied, succeeding to the very spot where he had
Speaker 1: leaned and written, her eyes devoured the following words. I
Speaker 1: can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to
Speaker 1: you by such means as are within my reach. You
Speaker 1: pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell
Speaker 1: me not that I am too late, that such precious
Speaker 1: feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again,
Speaker 1: with a heart even more your own than when you
Speaker 1: almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare
Speaker 1: not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his
Speaker 1: love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you, unjust.
Speaker 1: I may have been weak and resentful, I have been,
Speaker 1: but never in constant. You alone have brought me to bath.
Speaker 1: For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not
Speaker 1: seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes?
Speaker 1: I had not waited even these ten days? Could I
Speaker 1: have read your feelings as I think you must have
Speaker 1: penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant
Speaker 1: hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but
Speaker 1: I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they
Speaker 1: would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature.
Speaker 1: You do us justice. Indeed, you do believe that there
Speaker 1: is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to
Speaker 1: be most fervent, most undeviating in f W I must go,
Speaker 1: uncertain of my fate, but I shall return hither or
Speaker 1: follow your party as soon as possible. A word, a
Speaker 1: look will be enough to decide whether I enter your
Speaker 1: father's house this evening or never. Such a letter was
Speaker 1: not to be soon recovered from half an hour's solitude
Speaker 1: and reflection might have tranquilized her. But the ten minutes
Speaker 1: only which now passed before she was interrupted with all
Speaker 1: the restraints of her situation, could do nothing towards tranquility.
Speaker 1: Every moment rather brought fresh agitation. It was overpowering happiness,
Speaker 1: and before she was beyond the first stage of full sensation. Charles,
Speaker 1: Mary and Henrietta all came in the absolute necessity of
Speaker 1: seeming like herself produced then an immediate struggle. But after
Speaker 1: a while she could do no more. She began not
Speaker 1: to understand a word they said, and was obliged to
Speaker 1: plead indisposition and excuse herself. They could then see that
Speaker 1: she looked very ill, were shocked and concerned, and would
Speaker 1: not stir without her for the world. This was dreadful.
Speaker 1: Would they only have gone away and left her in
Speaker 1: the quiet possession of that room, it would have been
Speaker 1: her cure. But to have them all standing or waiting
Speaker 1: around her was distracting, and in desperation she said she
Speaker 1: would go home by all means. My dear, cried missus Musgrove.
Speaker 1: Go home directly and take care of yourself, that you
Speaker 1: may be fit for the evening. I wish Sarah was
Speaker 1: here to doct to you, but I am no doctor myself.
Speaker 1: Charles ring and order a chair. She must not walk,
Speaker 1: But the chair would never do worse than all to
Speaker 1: lose the possibility of speaking two words to Captain Wentworth.
Speaker 1: In the course of her quiet, solitary progress up the town,
Speaker 1: and she felt almost certain of meeting him could not
Speaker 1: be borne. The chair was earnestly protested against, and missus Musgrove,
Speaker 1: who thought only of one sort of illness, having assured
Speaker 1: herself with some anxiety that there had been no fall
Speaker 1: in the case that Anne had not at any time lately,
Speaker 1: slipped down and got a blow on her head, that
Speaker 1: she was perfectly convinced of having had no fall, could
Speaker 1: part with her cheerfully and depend on finding her better
Speaker 1: at night. Anxious to omit no possible precaution, Anne struggled
Speaker 1: and said, I am afraid, ma'am, that it is not
Speaker 1: perfectly understood. Pray be so good as to mention to
Speaker 1: the other gentlemen that we hope to see your whole
Speaker 1: party this evening. I am afraid there had been some mistake,
Speaker 1: and I wish you particularly to assure Captain Harville and
Speaker 1: Captain Wentworth that we hoped to see them both. Oh,
Speaker 1: my dear, it is quite understood. I give you my word.
Speaker 1: Captain Harville has no thought but of going, do you
Speaker 1: think so? But I am afraid, and I should be
Speaker 1: so very so. Will you promise me to mention it
Speaker 1: when you see them again? You will see them both
Speaker 1: this morning. I daresay, do promise me to be sure.
Speaker 1: I will if you wish it. Charles, if you see
Speaker 1: Captain Harville anywhere, remember to give miss Anne's message. But indeed,
Speaker 1: my dear, you need not be uneasy. Captain Harville holds
Speaker 1: himself quite engaged. I'll answer for it, and Captain Wentworth
Speaker 1: the same. I daresay Anne could do no more, but
Speaker 1: her heart prophesied some mischance to damp the perfection of
Speaker 1: her felicity. It could not be very lasting. However, even
Speaker 1: if he did not come to Camden Place himself, it
Speaker 1: would be in her power to send an intelligible sentence
Speaker 1: by Captain Harville. Another momentary vexation occurred. Charles, in his
Speaker 1: real concern and good nature, would go home with her.
Speaker 1: There was no preventing him. This was almost cruel, but
Speaker 1: she could not be long ungrateful. He was sacrificing an
Speaker 1: engagement at a gunsmith's to be of use to her,
Speaker 1: and she set off with him with no feeling but
Speaker 1: gratitude apparent. They were on Union Street when a quicker
Speaker 1: step behind a something of familiar sound gave her two
Speaker 1: moments preparation for the sight of Captain Wentworth. He joined them,
Speaker 1: but as if irresolute whether to join or pass on,
Speaker 1: he said nothing, only looked. Anne could command herself enough
Speaker 1: to receive that look, and not repulsively. The cheeks which
Speaker 1: had been pale, now glowed, and the movements which had
Speaker 1: hesitated were decided. He walked by her side, presently struck
Speaker 1: by a sudden thought, Charles said, Captain Wentworth, which way
Speaker 1: are you going only to Gay Street? Or farther up
Speaker 1: the town? I hardly know, replied Captain Wentworth, surprised. Are
Speaker 1: you going as high as Belmont? Are you going near
Speaker 1: Camden Place? Because if you are, I shall have no
Speaker 1: scruple in asking you to take my place and give
Speaker 1: Anne your arm to her father's door. She is rather
Speaker 1: done for this morning and must not go so far
Speaker 1: without help. And I ought to be at that fellow's
Speaker 1: in the market place. He promised me the sight of
Speaker 1: a capital gun he is just going to send off,
Speaker 1: said he would keep it unpacked to the last possible
Speaker 1: moment that I might see it. And if I do
Speaker 1: not turn back now, I have no chance. By his description,
Speaker 1: A good deal like the second size double barrel of
Speaker 1: mine which you shot with one day round Winthrop. There
Speaker 1: could not be an objection. There could be only the
Speaker 1: most proper alacrity, a most obliging compliance for public view,
Speaker 1: and smiles reined in, and spirits dancing in private rapture.
Speaker 1: In half a minute, Charles was at the bottom of
Speaker 1: Union Street again, and the other two proceeding together, And
Speaker 1: soon words enough had passed between them to decide their
Speaker 1: direction towards the comparatively quiet and retired gravel walk, where
Speaker 1: the power of conversation would make the present hour a
Speaker 1: blessing indeed, and prepare it for all the immortality which
Speaker 1: the happiest recollections of their own future lives could bestow.
Speaker 1: There they exchanged again those feelings and those promises which
Speaker 1: had once before seemed to secure everything, but which had
Speaker 1: been followed by so many, many years of division and estrangement.
Speaker 1: There they returned again into the past, more exquisitely happy,
Speaker 1: perhaps in their reunion than when it had been first projected,
Speaker 1: more tender, more tried, more fixed in a knowledge of
Speaker 1: each other's character, truth and attachment, more equal to act,
Speaker 1: more justified in acting. And there as they slowly paced
Speaker 1: the gradual ascent, heedless of every group around them, seeing
Speaker 1: neither sauntering politicians, bustling housekeepers, flirting girls, nor nursery maids
Speaker 1: and children. They could indulge in those retrospections and acknowledgments,
Speaker 1: and especially in those explanations of what had directly preceded
Speaker 1: the present moment, which were so poignant and so ceaseless
Speaker 1: an interest. All the little variations of the last week
Speaker 1: were gone through, and of yesterday and to day there
Speaker 1: could scarcely be an end. She had not mistaken him.
Speaker 1: Jealousy of mister Elliot had been the retarding weight, the doubt,
Speaker 1: the torment that had begun to operate in the very
Speaker 1: hour of first meeting her in Bath, that had returned
Speaker 1: after a short suspend, to ruin the concert, and that
Speaker 1: had influenced him in everything he had said and done,
Speaker 1: or omitted to say and do in the last four
Speaker 1: and twenty hours. It had been gradually yielding to the
Speaker 1: better hopes, which her looks were words or actions occasionally encouraged.
Speaker 1: It had been vanquished at last by those sentiments and
Speaker 1: those tones which had reached him while she talked with
Speaker 1: Captain Harville, and under the irresistible governance of which he
Speaker 1: had seized a sheet of paper and poured out his
Speaker 1: feelings of what he had then written. Nothing was to
Speaker 1: be retracted or qualified. He persisted in having loved none
Speaker 1: but her. She had never been supplanted. He never even
Speaker 1: believed himself to see her equal. Thus much. Indeed, he
Speaker 1: was obliged to acknowledge that he had been constant, unconsciously,
Speaker 1: nay unintentionally, that he had meant to forget her and
Speaker 1: believed it to be done. He had imagined himself indifferent
Speaker 1: when he had only been angry, and he had been
Speaker 1: unjust to her merits because he had been a sufferer
Speaker 1: from them. Her character was now fixed on his mind
Speaker 1: as profit afection itself, maintaining the loveliest medium of fortitude
Speaker 1: and gentleness. But he was obliged to acknowledge that only
Speaker 1: at Upper Cross had he learnt to do her justice,
Speaker 1: and only at Lime had he begun to understand himself.
Speaker 1: At Lime he had received lessons of more than one sort.
Speaker 1: The passing admiration of mister Eliot had at least roused him,
Speaker 1: and the scenes on the cob and at Captain Harville's
Speaker 1: had fixed her superiority. In his preceding attempts to attach
Speaker 1: himself to Louisa musgrove the attempts of angry pride. He
Speaker 1: protested that he had forever felt it to be impossible
Speaker 1: that he had not cared, could not care for Louisa,
Speaker 1: though till that day, till the leisure for reflection which
Speaker 1: followed it, he had not understood the perfect excellence of
Speaker 1: the mind with which Louis's could so ill bear a comparison,
Speaker 1: or the perfect, unrivaled hold it possessed over his own.
Speaker 1: There he had learnt to distinguish between the steadiness of
Speaker 1: principle and the obstinacy of self will, between the darings
Speaker 1: of heedlessness and the resolution of a collected mind. There
Speaker 1: he had seen every thing to exalt in his estimation
Speaker 1: the woman he had lost, and there begun to deplore
Speaker 1: the pride, the folly, the madness of resentment which had
Speaker 1: kept him from trying to regain her when thrown in
Speaker 1: his way. From that period his penance had become severe.
Speaker 1: He had no sooner been free from the horror and
Speaker 1: remorse attending the first few days of Louise's accident, no
Speaker 1: sooner begun to feel himself alive again than he had
Speaker 1: begun to feel himself though alive, not at liberty I found,
Speaker 1: said he that I was considered by Harville an engaged man,
Speaker 1: that neither Harville nor his wife entertained a doubt of
Speaker 1: our mutual attachment. I was startled and shocked to a degree.
Speaker 1: I could contradict this instantly. But when I began to
Speaker 1: reflect that others might have felt the same, her own family, nay,
Speaker 1: perhaps herself, I was no longer at my own disposal.
Speaker 1: I was hers in honor if she wished it. I
Speaker 1: had been unguarded. I had not thought seriously on this
Speaker 1: subject before. I had not considered that my excessive intimacy
Speaker 1: must have its dangers of ill consequence in many ways,
Speaker 1: and that I had no right to be trying whether
Speaker 1: I could attach myself to either of the girls at
Speaker 1: the risk of raising even an unpleasant report were there
Speaker 1: no other ill effects. I had been grossly wrong, and
Speaker 1: must abide the consequences. He found too late. In short,
Speaker 1: that he had entangled himself, and that precisely as he
Speaker 1: became fully satisfied of his not caring for Louisa at all,
Speaker 1: he must regard himself as bound to her if her
Speaker 1: sentiments for him were what the Harvilles supposed it determined
Speaker 1: him to leave lyme and await her complete recovery Elsewhere
Speaker 1: he would gladly weaken by any fair means, whatever feelings
Speaker 1: or speculations concerning him might exist, And he went therefore
Speaker 1: to his brother's meaning after a while to return to
Speaker 1: Kellynch and act as circumstances might require. I was six
Speaker 1: weeks with Edward, said he, and saw him happy. I
Speaker 1: could have no other pleasure. I deserved none. He inquired
Speaker 1: after you, very particularly asked, even if you a person
Speaker 1: altered little, suspecting that to my eye you could never alter.
Speaker 1: Anne smiled and let it pass. It was too pleasing
Speaker 1: a blunder for a reproach. It is something for a
Speaker 1: woman to be assured in her eight and twentieth year
Speaker 1: that she has not lost one charm of earlier youth.
Speaker 1: But the value of such homage was inexpressibly increased to
Speaker 1: Anne by comparing it with former words, and feeling it
Speaker 1: to be the result, not the cause, of a revival
Speaker 1: of his warm attachment. He had remained in Shropshire, lamenting
Speaker 1: the blindness of his own pride and the blunders of
Speaker 1: his own calculations, till at once released from Louisa by
Speaker 1: the astonishing and felicitous intelligence of her engagement with Bennock.
Speaker 1: Here said he ended the worst of my state. For
Speaker 1: now I could at least put myself in the way
Speaker 1: of happiness. I could exert myself, I could do something.
Speaker 1: But to be waiting so long in inaction, and waiting
Speaker 1: only for evil, had been dreadful. Within the first five minutes,
Speaker 1: I said, I will be at Bath on Wednesday, and
Speaker 1: I was was it unpardonable to think it worth my
Speaker 1: while to come and to arrive with some degree of hope?
Speaker 1: You were single, It was possible that you might retain
Speaker 1: the feelings of the past as I did, And one
Speaker 1: encouragement happened to be mine. I could never doubt that
Speaker 1: you would be loved and sought by others. But I
Speaker 1: knew to a certainty that you had refused one man
Speaker 1: at least of better pretensions than myself, And I could
Speaker 1: not help often saying was this for me? Their first
Speaker 1: meeting in Milsom Street afforded much to be said, but
Speaker 1: the concert still more. That evening seemed to be made
Speaker 1: up of exquisite moments. The moment of her stepping forward
Speaker 1: in the octagon room to speak to him, the moment
Speaker 1: of mister Elliot's appearing and tearing her away, and one
Speaker 1: or two subsequent moments marked by returning hope or increasing despondency.
Speaker 1: Were dwelt on with energy to see you, cried he
Speaker 1: in the midst of those who could not be my
Speaker 1: well wishes to see your cousin close by you, conversing
Speaker 1: and smiling, and feel all the horrible eligibilities in proprieties
Speaker 1: of the match. To consider it as the certain wish
Speaker 1: of every being who could hope to influence you, even
Speaker 1: if your own feelings were reluctant or indifferent, To consider
Speaker 1: what powerful supports would be his. Was it not enough
Speaker 1: to make the fool of me when I appeared? How
Speaker 1: could I look on without agony? Was not the very
Speaker 1: sight of the friend who sat behind you? Was not
Speaker 1: the recollection of what had been the knowledge of her influence,
Speaker 1: the indelible, immovable impression of what persuasion had once done?
Speaker 1: Was it not all against me? You should have distinguished,
Speaker 1: replied Anne. You should not have suspected me. Now the
Speaker 1: case is so different, and my age is so different.
Speaker 1: If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion, once. Remember
Speaker 1: that it was to persuasion exerted on the side of safety,
Speaker 1: not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was
Speaker 1: to duty. But no duty could be called an aid
Speaker 1: here in marrying a man indifferent to me, all risk
Speaker 1: would have been incurred and all duty violated. Perhaps I
Speaker 1: ought to were reasoned, thus, he replied, But I could not.
Speaker 1: I could not derive benefit from the late knowledge I
Speaker 1: had acquired of your character. I could not bring it
Speaker 1: into play. It was overwhelmed, buried, lost in those earlier
Speaker 1: feelings which I had been smarting under year after year.
Speaker 1: I could think of you only as one who had yielded,
Speaker 1: who had given me up, who had been influenced by
Speaker 1: any one rather than by me. I saw you at
Speaker 1: the very person who had guided you in that year
Speaker 1: of misery. I had no reason to believe her of
Speaker 1: less authority. Now the force of habit was to be added.
Speaker 1: I should have thought, said Anne, that my manner to
Speaker 1: yourself might have spared you much or all of this. No, No,
Speaker 1: your manner might be only the ease which your engagement
Speaker 1: to another man would give. I left you in this belief,
Speaker 1: and yet I was determined to see you again my
Speaker 1: spirits rallied with the morning, and I felt that I
Speaker 1: had still a motive for remaining here. At last, Anne
Speaker 1: was at home again, and happier than any one in
Speaker 1: that house could have conceived. All the surprise and suspense
Speaker 1: and every other painful part of the morning. Dissipated by
Speaker 1: this conversation, she re entered the house so happy as
Speaker 1: to be obliged to find an alloy in some momentary
Speaker 1: apprehensions of its being impossible to last. An interval of meditation,
Speaker 1: serious and grateful was the best corrective of everything dangerous
Speaker 1: in such high wrought felicity, And she went to her
Speaker 1: room and grew steadfast and fearless in the thankfulness of
Speaker 1: her enjoyment. The evening came, the drawing rooms were lighted up,
Speaker 1: the company assembled. It was but a card party. It
Speaker 1: was but a mixture of those who had never met
Speaker 1: before and those who met too often, a commonplace business,
Speaker 1: too numerous for intimacy, too small for variety. But Anne
Speaker 1: had never found an evening shorter, glowing and lovely in
Speaker 1: sensibility and happiness, and more generally admired than she thought
Speaker 1: about or cared for. She had cheerful or forbearing feelings
Speaker 1: for every creature about her. Mister Elliot was there she avoided,
Speaker 1: but she could pity him. The Wallaces she had amusement
Speaker 1: and understanding them. Lady Dalrymple and Miss Carteret, they would
Speaker 1: soon be innoxious cousins to her. She cared not for
Speaker 1: Missus Clay, and had nothing to blush for in the
Speaker 1: public manners of her father and sister. With the Musgroves.
Speaker 1: There was the happy chat of perfect ease with Captain Harville,
Speaker 1: the kind hearted intercourse of brother and sister with Lady Russell,
Speaker 1: attempts at conversation which a delicious consciousness cut short. With
Speaker 1: Admiral and Missus Croft, everything of peculiar cordiality and fervent
Speaker 1: interest which the same consciousness sought to conceal, and with
Speaker 1: Captain wentworth some moments of communications, continually occurring, and always
Speaker 1: the hope of more, and always the knowledge of his
Speaker 1: being there. It was in one of these short meetings,
Speaker 1: each apparently occupied in admiring a fine display of greenhouse plants,
Speaker 1: that she said, I have been thinking over the past
Speaker 1: and trying impartially to judge of the right and wrong.
Speaker 1: I mean with regard to myself and I must believe
Speaker 1: that I was right, much as I suffered from it.
Speaker 1: That I was perfectly right in being guided by the
Speaker 1: friend whom you will love better than you do now.
Speaker 1: To me, she was in the place of a parent.
Speaker 1: Do not mistake me. However, I am not saying that
Speaker 1: she did not err in her advice. It was perhaps
Speaker 1: one of those cases in which advice is good or
Speaker 1: bad only as the event decides. And for myself I
Speaker 1: certainly never should, in any circumstance of tolerable similarity, give
Speaker 1: such advice. But I mean that I was right in
Speaker 1: submitting to her, and that if I had done otherwise,
Speaker 1: I should have suffered more in continuing the engagement than
Speaker 1: I did even in giving it up. Because I should
Speaker 1: have suffered in my conscience. I have now, as far
Speaker 1: as such a sentiment as allowable in human nature, nothing
Speaker 1: to reproach myself with. And if I mistake not, a
Speaker 1: strong sense of duty is no bad part of a
Speaker 1: woman's portion. He looked at her, looked at Lady Russell,
Speaker 1: and looking again at her, replied, as if in cool deliberation,
Speaker 1: not yet, but there are hopes of her being forgiven
Speaker 1: in time. I trust her being in check with her soon.
Speaker 1: But I too have been thinking over the past, and
Speaker 1: a question has suggested itself whether there may not have
Speaker 1: been one person more my enemy, even than that lady
Speaker 1: my own self. Tell me if when I returned to
Speaker 1: England in the year eight with a few thousand pounds
Speaker 1: and was posted into the Laconia, if I had then
Speaker 1: written to you, would you have answered my letter? Would you,
Speaker 1: in short, have renewed the engagement? Then? Would? I was
Speaker 1: all her answer, But the accent was decisive enough. Good God,
Speaker 1: he cried, you would It is not that I did
Speaker 1: not think of it or desire it as what could
Speaker 1: alone crown all my other success. But I was proud,
Speaker 1: too proud to ask again. I did not understand you.
Speaker 1: I shut my eyes and would not understand you, or
Speaker 1: do you justice. This is a recollection which ought to
Speaker 1: make me forgive every one sooner than myself six years
Speaker 1: of separation and suffering might have been spared. It is
Speaker 1: this sort of pain, too, which is new to me.
Speaker 1: I have been used to the gratification of believing myself
Speaker 1: to earn every blessing that I enjoyed. I have valued
Speaker 1: myself on honorable toils and just rewards like other great
Speaker 1: men under reverses, he added with a smile, I must
Speaker 1: endeavor to subdue my mind to my fortune. I must
Speaker 1: learn to brook being happier than I deserve. End of
Speaker 1: Chapter twenty three.