Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I'm just gonna ask did you borrow
Speaker 1: like your hands move moom or.
Speaker 2: Will seconds? I was like, I was like, I was
Speaker 2: over here, like time in it? How long is it
Speaker 2: gonna take?
Speaker 1: Was an idiot? It was split second the second you
Speaker 1: came in. I was like, what the fuck are you wearing?
Speaker 3: The only thing lower than that collar? Are my standards?
Speaker 2: Oh? Not by much.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I saw this video of this dude that was like,
Speaker 2: I stole my girlfriend's moomoo and I don't know if
Speaker 2: I'm to give it back toward to be honest, and
Speaker 2: I was like, this would be funny and I want
Speaker 2: to put it on for the podcast. And I was like,
Speaker 2: mar I got pockets. I hear they're comfortable. I mean,
Speaker 2: to be honest, it's kind of great. I'm gonna lie,
Speaker 2: not gonna lie.
Speaker 3: Nice little breeze, Well yeah, just don't ask me to
Speaker 3: get up.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've seen to the void. That's a big void.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: Welcome to Dad's on Day. Parental discussion is advised mature
Speaker 4: content beyond this point, do.
Speaker 3: You guys know that chickens can only make one sound?
Speaker 3: It's because they can't think outside the box.
Speaker 2: Nice. Nice.
Speaker 1: I guess that's what you're coming in with. So D's
Speaker 1: on Dequel one sixty nine. I don't I don't even
Speaker 1: know where to go from here.
Speaker 3: I'm doom.
Speaker 2: I'm stone baby, Yeah you are?
Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, god, I heard I heard a joke from
Speaker 5: a middle schooler.
Speaker 1: So it's my son's my son's friend who I've known
Speaker 1: since when he was in the womb, right, and so
Speaker 1: the joke, I don't know, it's uh, I don't know
Speaker 1: where he heard it, but it was pretty funny. So
Speaker 1: the this uh, this girl walks into the store and
Speaker 1: she goes over to the produce. She asked the guy.
Speaker 1: She's like, hey, do you have any broccoli? And he's like, no,
Speaker 1: we don't have any broccoli. So she walks off. She
Speaker 1: comes back to the produce five minutes later and the
Speaker 1: same guy and she's like, hey, have you got that broccoli.
Speaker 1: He's like, ma'am, I've told you we don't have broccoli.
Speaker 1: So she walks off. She comes back again. He lets
Speaker 1: out a big sigh and she's like, do you have
Speaker 1: any broccoli? And he goes listen, can you spell cat?
Speaker 1: Like is in catastrophe? And she's like, yeah, c a
Speaker 1: t and he's like, can you spell dog like in dogma?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Dog? What can you spell?
Speaker 3: Fuck like?
Speaker 1: He's in broccoli and she's like, there's no fucking broccoli.
Speaker 1: He's like, that's what I've been fucking telling you. Walk away.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like that, that's hilarious. That's good stuff.
Speaker 2: A panel one time, did you come the con? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Apparently I'm the person has never heard that fucking joke,
Speaker 1: but I liked it. So you know, when you live
Speaker 1: under a rock, you live under a.
Speaker 2: Rock, you should get out sometimes get you up some
Speaker 2: move moves.
Speaker 1: Side note, I saw this. I saw this clip. So Dom,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you the question first. If you two
Speaker 1: hundred grapes in a bowl, one hundred and ninety nine
Speaker 1: of them are pure.
Speaker 2: Okay, you like grapes, right, yeah, of course? Cool?
Speaker 1: Okay, one of them is poison. Every grape you eat,
Speaker 1: you get one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: How man makes till I die, till I die, until.
Speaker 1: I die drops the first grape.
Speaker 2: Till I die.
Speaker 3: That's a sign that that's a sign that it's time
Speaker 3: and I'm going till I die.
Speaker 2: I okay.
Speaker 3: In reality, like in reality, all jokes aside, I would
Speaker 3: probably quit. How many was it per grape? How many
Speaker 3: eight thousand per grape? One hundred thousand in one hundred
Speaker 3: thousand per great? I just won maybe two, maybe two,
Speaker 3: it's all I need. Okay, that's all I need? Maybe two?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: Because the odds are good, right, like your odds get
Speaker 3: your odds diminished as you get as you get lower, right.
Speaker 1: Well, of course, right that your odds actually increase as
Speaker 1: you as you keep eating, right, increase the chance of death? Stone, Okay,
Speaker 1: not grapes. What's the favorite fruit of yours? And then
Speaker 1: I'll ask you a question.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, strawberries.
Speaker 1: How many strawberries would it take to eat to to
Speaker 1: not suck domes dick? But you can't throw up?
Speaker 2: Mmm? That's hard?
Speaker 3: Maybe I got.
Speaker 1: Are they big strawberries?
Speaker 2: That's fucked up?
Speaker 3: Because because I think strawberries are harder to eat than grapes,
Speaker 3: you can down even if you don't like grapes as
Speaker 3: much as you like strawberries, you can down a shitload
Speaker 3: of grapes.
Speaker 1: That's true. You'll end up in the hospital from gas
Speaker 1: thinking you're gonna die because your tell me you hurts.
Speaker 3: Eventually, well, eventually you just start shitting your brains out.
Speaker 2: Well you're gonna get like fucking I don't know about
Speaker 2: you guys, but the acid gets to me and I
Speaker 2: get fucking harpur and like a motherfucker from grapes.
Speaker 1: So I back off because the story was a real story,
Speaker 1: and my mom had to take me to the er
Speaker 1: because my stomach hurts so bad and we didn't know
Speaker 1: what was wrong, and then come to find out. Once
Speaker 1: we were there, they asked, and I ate a whole
Speaker 1: bag of green grapes.
Speaker 3: Can we go back to the question though, because I
Speaker 3: got I got two bushels of strawberries in the fridge,
Speaker 3: like those suckers. Can we back upries?
Speaker 1: No, stn't all right for real? Instead of grape strawberry,
Speaker 1: same thing. Two hundred strawberries, one hundred thousand a piece.
Speaker 1: How many are you eating before you say I'm good?
Speaker 2: Is there caveats to the poisoner and know?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you fucking die? You die, well not with all poisons, no, No,
Speaker 1: this poison is you just die. You fall up like
Speaker 1: in the movies, and you die ten I think ten fare.
Speaker 1: I think I'd risk it for the biscuit and try
Speaker 1: and get to twenty. Yeah, just for funds puts.
Speaker 2: It at a one in ten chance. Mind's at one
Speaker 2: in twenty.
Speaker 1: Right being taxed, No, it is cash is cash money free?
Speaker 3: Then two, two, maybe three from doubt it though I'd
Speaker 3: probably I'd probably stop it too.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's let's go in into the weeks. Uh
Speaker 1: you want to go first downed? Yeah, hell yeah, go
Speaker 1: for it. My week was pretty normal, not a whole
Speaker 1: lot going on.
Speaker 2: Went over to some friends houses over the weekend, you know,
Speaker 2: and uh tried a really good Mexican restaurant that's kind
Speaker 2: of like not quite North Vegas, but you know, around
Speaker 2: Sumberland up there, and uh it was like, actually no, no,
Speaker 2: it was more in the east side, so it's like
Speaker 2: almost like right where the northeast of Mace uh meets
Speaker 2: the east. And it was pretty good. Like I gotta say,
Speaker 2: most Megican restaurants I'm kind of like, eh, not really
Speaker 2: holding my breath for, to be honest, but this one
Speaker 2: was pretty good. I gotta say, I'm kind of excited
Speaker 2: to go there again. Some good ship and Avery kind
Speaker 2: of likes beans now, which is great because she's a
Speaker 2: texture person. She gags and throws up on texture including beans,
Speaker 2: and she was like, I want to try those beans.
Speaker 2: And she takes a chip, dips in the beans, eats
Speaker 2: it and goes, can I have that whole thing of beans?
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, here have ad it. Mashed
Speaker 2: potatoes is NeXT's go get that fiber, the protein.
Speaker 3: Some farts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: That was kind of the extense of of mine. Not
Speaker 2: a whole lot going on.
Speaker 1: Cool cool, don't excuse me.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, kind of the same for me. I've been
Speaker 3: doing great with eating healthy. I got Grayson on the
Speaker 3: train of eating healthy and getting some more vegetables in
Speaker 3: his diet because he needs it. Uh, and he's recognizing it,
Speaker 3: which is fantastic. He's been a picky eater, which I
Speaker 3: can relate to because as a kid, my diet consisted
Speaker 3: of hot dogs, grilled cheese, peanut butter, and jelly bloony. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like it was the fucking world's worst diet.
Speaker 2: Hot pockets, pizzas, bagel bites, pizza, and the pizza was
Speaker 2: only plain, Like it was just cheese pizza, anything else. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'd have six bowls of cereal, you know before I
Speaker 2: ate any any kind of steak for the longest time.
Speaker 3: But yeah, anyway, so he was doing good. We were
Speaker 3: doing great. We did fantastic different kinds of meals all
Speaker 3: all week which kind of same in this house. We
Speaker 3: got him to eat the beans and mushrooms, which was amazing,
Speaker 3: made this stew which was to die for. It was
Speaker 3: so fucking good. And then I completely and utterly fell
Speaker 3: off the wagon. This weekend. I ate an entire family
Speaker 3: sized bag of gummy clusters nerds clusters by myself. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: I still got your feet, had ice cream, had ice
Speaker 3: had ice cream, had some cookies. I don't know what
Speaker 3: the fuck happened, It just it happened, and then it
Speaker 3: I couldn't stop. It was like a fucking train literally
Speaker 3: falling into the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 2: So it's a wild thing when you eat those hard candies.
Speaker 3: Yep. I woke up this morning and felt like absolute
Speaker 3: dog shit. So I made myself a shake smoothie with
Speaker 3: a metric fuck ton of green stuff in it and
Speaker 3: trying to shock my system with some nutrients because I
Speaker 3: haven't had it for the last two days. It's been
Speaker 3: nothing but garbage food.
Speaker 2: So partake in the green staff.
Speaker 3: Yep, what about you know? I got my nuts clipped,
Speaker 3: So that was fun.
Speaker 2: Oh that happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that happened on Friday. No, it happened on Friday.
Speaker 1: They actually the worst part I actually I had to
Speaker 1: text home this one because it was too funny to wait.
Speaker 1: But the worst part of the whole procedure was he
Speaker 1: was working on my right nut, which was the first side.
Speaker 1: So he's standing on my right side and really cool
Speaker 1: guy who you know, He's talking the whole time, like
Speaker 1: kind of keeps your mind at ease, like you know whatever,
Speaker 1: and he's talking to me and I don't know what
Speaker 1: it was because I'm just looking up. But he drops
Speaker 1: something and it hits my left nut, which isn't numb yet,
Speaker 1: so it was immediately like a sack tap. I was like,
Speaker 1: and he was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: And I was like, as long as it wasn't sharp,
Speaker 1: we're good. I mean, technically, if it is sharp, who cares,
Speaker 1: because that's why I'm here, right, But I laughed and
Speaker 1: then we just kept on, so thank you. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not bad. I definitely, you know, everybody's different, and I
Speaker 1: would say that I would I would put myself in
Speaker 1: the same shoes as kind of dome when it comes
Speaker 1: to pain tolerance, and like when he said how he
Speaker 1: felt and everything like that, I'm like, that's probably accurate
Speaker 1: because I've heard other people and they just seem to
Speaker 1: be a little bit more on the bitchy side and that,
Speaker 1: and so I tended to think, how, you know, Dome was,
Speaker 1: you know, going through it, and I was like, it'd
Speaker 1: probably not be that bad. And what it's really like
Speaker 1: is it's like you got a really bad hit to
Speaker 1: the nuts and it just lingers for a couple of days,
Speaker 1: just tender and sore, like like I pinched your nut,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like you go to move them when
Speaker 1: you're wearing jeans and you pinch it. You're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's kind of how it feels. But it's
Speaker 1: not that bad, just ice and whatever.
Speaker 3: So you're you're more worried about like breaking. So I
Speaker 3: was more worried about breaking something like.
Speaker 1: I wasn't more worried about peeing for the first time.
Speaker 1: I was definitely afraid it was gonna hurt to pee, man,
Speaker 1: which has nothing to do with your nuts, no, but
Speaker 1: it's just it's all.
Speaker 2: Did they did they tell you, did they give you
Speaker 2: like a certain amount of pumps and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 2: pump this many times and they come back and do
Speaker 2: a sample.
Speaker 3: Yep, it's in the paperwork. If you're read it, it's
Speaker 3: twenty four times. It's twenty four ten weeks. Tom Segurra
Speaker 3: said his was forty. I was like, damn, ten weeks, yeah,
Speaker 3: ten weeks, twenty four times. I was like, I'm not
Speaker 3: reaching twenty four times unless I do this myself in
Speaker 3: ten weeks.
Speaker 2: So I got that.
Speaker 3: That was the first first three days here, first three days?
Speaker 1: Wait, can I test after three days?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: No, you need twenty four pumps?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was two days ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, doom. Are you sure you want to do this
Speaker 2: the day after you did it? Yeah, we'll be fine.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I didn't start my period. Maybe you
Speaker 2: should have healed first. Jesus.
Speaker 3: Ryan was fucking the day after he got his psychopaths, Like,
Speaker 3: your fucking nuts, dude, you're absolutely can you imagine each
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, did the doctor give you this story
Speaker 3: about how it's like one in three thousand or some bullshit?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then and then his eye Now that was the dentist.
Speaker 1: He went to his eyes have a Seaman dentistry. The uh,
Speaker 1: the his eyes popped wide when he was asking, you know,
Speaker 1: do we have kids? How many we have? You know, like,
Speaker 1: am I sure about this? And I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: our last one, who's a year and a half old,
Speaker 1: was an IUD baby.
Speaker 2: And he was like, well, okay.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna try and we're just trying to hit
Speaker 1: all the odds here, and I was like yeah basically, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well I'm glad everything went well and he didn't
Speaker 3: slip and cut off the half an inch that you
Speaker 3: do have.
Speaker 1: That's true. I would have been it would have been
Speaker 1: not just a a grower, like not a shower, but
Speaker 1: a grower. It's just been a I got nothing, a
Speaker 1: fucking bob.
Speaker 2: It a little aw does your nub wiggle if you
Speaker 2: get happy?
Speaker 1: It's like it's like it's like a boxer's tail. You know,
Speaker 1: they don't really.
Speaker 4: Cute cute.
Speaker 1: It's a spirit anyway, Dome, it's your it's your runnown
Speaker 1: so go for it.
Speaker 3: So we we got a new game this week. It
Speaker 3: is called name That thing starts with two one one
Speaker 3: one two two one.
Speaker 1: That's my answers.
Speaker 2: No, uh, hippopotamus diraffe and that.
Speaker 3: I thought it would be ironic for me to bring
Speaker 3: a game to the table that dealt with spelling. So
Speaker 3: here's how the game goes. It's a start with and
Speaker 3: ends with games. So I'm going to say this word
Speaker 3: starts with X letter and ends with X letter, and
Speaker 3: you guys can give me any word as long as
Speaker 3: it's a real thing or person or place whatever, and
Speaker 3: you get the point.
Speaker 2: That is how it works.
Speaker 3: So I will say something like uh starts with jay
Speaker 3: and ends with H, and you will both have the
Speaker 3: chance to go at the exact same time, and you
Speaker 3: will give me something, and the first person to give
Speaker 3: me a viable answer wins point. Okay, ready, yeah, stand yeah,
Speaker 3: I think so comprehend a yeah, I think I think
Speaker 3: we got it all right. First one up starts with
Speaker 3: a C and ends with an R. Car Oh, all right,
Speaker 3: go again, same letters, fools, caregiver. There you go, sure
Speaker 3: if you got because you guys got it the exact
Speaker 3: same time, So we're not giving you both points. So
Speaker 3: if if you know it's a tie, you just go
Speaker 3: back at it. Okay, AJ's one up, all right. Next
Speaker 3: one starts with A b ends with a Y.
Speaker 1: Barry Is it barry like burry? These nuts in your
Speaker 1: face are burry like a strawberry, because I'm curious.
Speaker 3: I kind of want to know now too. Don't change
Speaker 3: your answer, Faggott, all right. Next one starts with an
Speaker 3: s ends with a T.
Speaker 2: Stewart, God damn it, Jesus Christ, we shouldn't play this game.
Speaker 3: Clearly, I'm not for this game, all right? The brain anyway?
Speaker 1: All right, let me sit back here and admire the movement.
Speaker 3: Starts with an F, ends with a K.
Speaker 2: Fuck, Frank, shut the fuck up. The power of the
Speaker 2: move move goddamn?
Speaker 3: What else can we say? It's funny? Oh, Jesus all right.
Speaker 3: Starts with a p ends with an R.
Speaker 2: Peter, God damn it, all right.
Speaker 3: Starts with an E, ends with an M eminem Jesus,
Speaker 3: star with an H.
Speaker 2: Ends with a T.
Speaker 3: Hat all right, making a comeback. Starts with an A,
Speaker 3: ends with an E.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, asshole, Yeah, I like it?
Speaker 3: Damn it all right. Last one starts with the P
Speaker 3: ends with the Y.
Speaker 1: Probably he like it?
Speaker 2: Like it?
Speaker 3: There you go, all right, we we have a tie.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go back to the one.
Speaker 2: We can't tie.
Speaker 3: Are you doing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Starts with an F, ends with a K. We're gonna
Speaker 1: say again or Frank again?
Speaker 3: Fact, I'll tell you it. It's the Canadian version, all right.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 3: I like that there's something difference different.
Speaker 1: I I do feel like, well, I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: it could depend on stream, but I do feel like
Speaker 1: being high may actually help that game because you're really
Speaker 1: just like you could be zoned in on it.
Speaker 3: But it also make things really bad, like you a
Speaker 3: couple episodes ago.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't have anyway.
Speaker 3: I no, oh no, I wouldn't answered one of those
Speaker 3: couple of episodes.
Speaker 2: No, not even yeah, he would have been over here
Speaker 2: like yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh he turned down the colors. Dude. I sat there
Speaker 3: staring at my screen for twenty minutes, like I did
Speaker 3: my refrigerator, but you did Jesus. Speaking of staring at stuff,
Speaker 3: I hope you guys stared at your movies. Because Dad's
Speaker 3: Advocate is next up. It is back Ladies and Gentlemen,
Speaker 3: by popular demand, mainly US. No one else. No one
Speaker 3: else has asked for this but us. We have wanted
Speaker 3: to do this, so we picked three movies. Uh. Gnomes
Speaker 3: is going to be a surprise. I am doing Angels
Speaker 3: in the Outfield, Stoned. You are doing How to Train
Speaker 3: Your Dragon, And we will wait for Nomes.
Speaker 1: You just go first and end the surprise, or no
Speaker 1: stone can go first.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, So how to train your dragon? Fuck Hiccup,
Speaker 2: that piece of shit. Dam Here's what happened, right, So
Speaker 2: in their Viking culture, they had a very strict standard
Speaker 2: of fuck vikings for very very good reasons. You know,
Speaker 2: you know, the fucking dragons like ate a whole lot
Speaker 2: of their people. Fuck them dragons, right, And then one
Speaker 2: night Hiccup was like, yeah, fuck them dragons, and like,
Speaker 2: fucking missus, the fucking dragon just like kind of wounds it,
Speaker 2: and it's like, bro, come on, man, shitty hunter, what
Speaker 2: is going on here? Like you fucking suck. Nobody likes
Speaker 2: your inventions and shit, Now you can even do the
Speaker 2: most basic there, which is defend your fucking place properly.
Speaker 2: Now you gotta go fucking find it. Because he goes
Speaker 2: a conscience and it's like, oh, like I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: killa blah blah blah, maybe old piece my dad or something. Right,
Speaker 2: goes out there and just befriends this dragon, this thing
Speaker 2: that stands for the evil that ate his mother and
Speaker 2: his dad is actively trying to fucking fight it. And
Speaker 2: he has the audacity to take that fucking dragon, bring
Speaker 2: it into his home. No less study, It's kind, be around,
Speaker 2: it's kind, befriend is kind like it's a dog brother thing.
Speaker 2: Ate your fucking mom. It'd be at any sight. All
Speaker 2: hands on deck, All dragons are gone, dragon des nuts
Speaker 2: across their heads as I put them, dragons to sleep.
Speaker 2: But no, Hiccup had to change the ways of his village,
Speaker 2: change the history, change the trajectory of where they're going. Now.
Speaker 2: They have so many more mouths to feed. Fucking Thanos
Speaker 2: is coming in here snapping like crazy, right, like fucking
Speaker 2: told you. Also, yeah, man, how the fuck are they
Speaker 2: gonna feed everything now? All the mouths, the dragons bullshit,
Speaker 2: all because Hiccup was like, oh, I guess I've a
Speaker 2: shitty son, So I think I gotta I'm trying to
Speaker 2: prove myself, when he should have just stayed in the
Speaker 2: fucking kitchen or wherever the fuck he was at, you know,
Speaker 2: fucked everything up for everybody. Fuck Hiccup fucked the dragons.
Speaker 2: The dad was right. I end my piece. I have spoken.
Speaker 1: Okay, there was one part in there. Did you say
Speaker 1: the dragon ate his mom?
Speaker 2: Yeah? But they didn't not until number two to be
Speaker 2: fine old supposedly allegendly okay, allegedly allegedly could be someone
Speaker 2: else taking advantage of the situation trying to get in
Speaker 2: the dand's pants. You know, maybe it was the old
Speaker 2: high school flame, right, high school fla, I'm still in
Speaker 2: love with him, but not in love with her. So
Speaker 2: creates his backstory of oh, like, I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 2: and take over this. It's kind of like that movie
Speaker 2: with like Kevin Kleiner, whoever his name is, he took
Speaker 2: over the president back in the nineties, like that shit.
Speaker 1: Okay telling you all right, okay, fuck it up. Okay, no, sure,
Speaker 1: I'll go I have a trifecta. So there was I
Speaker 1: was given the option to do different movies. So I
Speaker 1: have a movie that's going to lead into another movie,
Speaker 1: which people have probably heard this theory. But then I
Speaker 1: have a third movie that it plays into, which I
Speaker 1: don't believe people have played into. So we're gonna start
Speaker 1: and we're gonna kick things off. So Camp Hope, right,
Speaker 1: So Camp Hope in the movie Heavyweights, a bunch of fat,
Speaker 1: fucking retarded kids that are no good at anything in life,
Speaker 1: and but they get to go to this camp, right,
Speaker 1: and they get to eat to their hearts content, they
Speaker 1: get to play on goat carts, they gets do all
Speaker 1: these fun things. They don't actually go to this camp
Speaker 1: to better themselves, right.
Speaker 3: It is advertised that it's a weight loss camp.
Speaker 1: It is advertised that way, right. And in the movie.
Speaker 1: Ben Stiller plays Tony Perkins, which is in the movie
Speaker 1: a bad guy, right, And he buys the camp funny enough,
Speaker 1: from Jerry still Er, his dad who plays the character
Speaker 1: who owns the camp, Camp Hope at the beginning of
Speaker 1: the movie. Right, And so he buys this camp and
Speaker 1: he at first plays nice, but he's actually in the
Speaker 1: right frame of mind. This is a weight loss camp.
Speaker 3: It's supposed to be a weight loss camp.
Speaker 1: And so he's going to turn it in to a
Speaker 1: weight loss camp and try and give these kids a
Speaker 1: better shot at life. And why not, right?
Speaker 2: And so.
Speaker 1: The kids are clearly the bad guys in this movie.
Speaker 1: They're addicted to sugar, they lead extremely unhealthy lifestyles. One
Speaker 1: of the kids, Josh, is incredibly disrespectful when he first
Speaker 1: meets Tony, and when all Tony wants to do is
Speaker 1: give the world fitness, these kids desperately need their help
Speaker 1: fixing their dangerous and disgusting habits. Yet the only guy
Speaker 1: who seems to actually give a fuck is Tony. Right,
Speaker 1: we don't see any more than two counselors in the movie,
Speaker 1: but the main counselor is a shitty role model for
Speaker 1: these kids. He's well into his thirties, he's massively overweight,
Speaker 1: and not only not only that, but mentally he's very
Speaker 1: weak and demonstrates that when he confides into the campers
Speaker 1: instead of the campers confiding into him. Let me say
Speaker 1: that again, this counselor is so low level. By the
Speaker 1: age of thirty, he had managed to avoid scoring a
Speaker 1: point in anything in life. The movie seals the deal
Speaker 1: at the end with the heartwarming victory for the fat kids,
Speaker 1: renewed confidence for the fat main character, and Tony Perkins defeated.
Speaker 1: But the movie does this a really odd way. Obviously,
Speaker 1: we said Tony by is the camp but he takes
Speaker 1: things a little too seriously, and maybe one of the
Speaker 1: only parts where he's truly the bad guy is where
Speaker 1: he destroys the blob, the one thing that the kids
Speaker 1: actually like doing that actually could be considered a physical activity,
Speaker 1: but he does it as a motivational factor in his mind.
Speaker 3: I mean, it could have actually been a safety hazard
Speaker 3: if you think about it, because there are weight limits
Speaker 3: to that thing.
Speaker 2: Lunch has been canceled due to a lack of vessel,
Speaker 2: and deal with it.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 2: That's one of my favorite lines of that movie.
Speaker 1: So fast forward. We know the story. If you've seen Heavyweights.
Speaker 1: If you haven't seen the Heavyweights, I don't know why
Speaker 1: you're listening to this podcast. Stop it. Go watch Heavyweights,
Speaker 1: enjoy yourself. But but know that Tony Perkins is the
Speaker 1: good guy. So what happens is he goes off the
Speaker 1: deep end from being captured by these kids and tortured
Speaker 1: by these kids all for just doing what he wants
Speaker 1: to do to help them out, right, And so what
Speaker 1: happens is his dad, Tony Perkins Senior, has to come
Speaker 1: and rescue him and basically turn the camp back over
Speaker 1: to the Fat Fox and go from there. Well, the
Speaker 1: movie ends there, right, But what doesn't What people don't
Speaker 1: know is that that Tony Perkins is so junior, is
Speaker 1: so distraught that he goes into hiding. He gains a
Speaker 1: massive amount of fucking weight, and because he just can't
Speaker 1: handle himself, anymore, and then his dad passes away, and
Speaker 1: when his dad passes away, he gains this fortune. And
Speaker 1: when he gains the fortune, he decides he's going to
Speaker 1: rebrand himself, rename himself, and put himself back out to
Speaker 1: the world and try and get the world back into
Speaker 1: a better motivational shape. And so he changes his name
Speaker 1: to White Goodman. He changes his Tony Perkins logo to
Speaker 1: the same logo with a couple extra arms, and he
Speaker 1: opens up a massive gym called Globojim and he tries
Speaker 1: to make everybody better. We're better than you, and we
Speaker 1: know it is his slogan, right, but he wants you
Speaker 1: to join his team. And what happens, just like the
Speaker 1: fat focks, is he tries to buy out a gym
Speaker 1: next door, which nobody goes to the gym. To go
Speaker 1: to the gym, They go there for social hour, they
Speaker 1: go there for coffee hour, they go there for they
Speaker 1: can't even pay their bills.
Speaker 3: And so.
Speaker 1: Down the road, down the road, he gets sucked into
Speaker 1: this dodgeball game and ends up putting Globo Gym up
Speaker 1: for grabs. Right that he's gonna win dodgeball against the
Speaker 1: Joe's and he doesn't. He loses again, all for trying
Speaker 1: to be the good guy and get health into this world.
Speaker 2: Mhm.
Speaker 1: It spins him so bad that at the end of
Speaker 1: the movie he's fat again. But this it doesn't end there.
Speaker 1: There's one more step to this movie that people don't understand.
Speaker 1: He finally gets back off the wagon, or I guess
Speaker 1: you could say on the wagon, loses all his weight,
Speaker 1: but he has mentally fucked himself so far beyond belief
Speaker 1: that he reinvents his name one more time. He moves
Speaker 1: to New York City, gets married, has a kid, gets divorced,
Speaker 1: has no fucking job, and he is so mentally destroyed
Speaker 1: by people. The only job that he could fathom is
Speaker 1: because coming a security guard for a fucking museum at night,
Speaker 1: where the only people he wants to talk to are
Speaker 1: people that aren't really existing. And he changes his name
Speaker 1: to Larry Daily and goes on with Night at.
Speaker 3: The Museum Nice. I've heard the theory that he goes
Speaker 3: to play what's his name in.
Speaker 2: Oh Oh?
Speaker 1: They get yeah the caretaker, Yeah.
Speaker 3: The Caretaker. But I actually liked it. I like Night
Speaker 3: at the Museum better.
Speaker 1: The problem with the Caretaker is it doesn't add up
Speaker 1: the timeline, because if you go by the timeline of
Speaker 1: the movies, it just doesn't add up. It doesn't add
Speaker 1: up properly. And the time frame that you give to
Speaker 1: make Heavyweights and Dodgeball fits appropriately. And then about three
Speaker 1: years down the road ish, then Night of the Museum happens.
Speaker 1: And I've actually never heard that spin. I put that
Speaker 1: spin on that one nice. But the Dodgeball and Heavyweights,
Speaker 1: that's it. So many people have talked about, Oh, it's
Speaker 1: been actually a buzz thing lately that I've seen.
Speaker 3: Larry Daily makes sense because his like, his inventions are
Speaker 3: so off the wall and weird, kind of like both
Speaker 3: of the other two characters. So it does. It does
Speaker 3: suit and then the.
Speaker 1: Whole and they spin the movie that it's a tablet
Speaker 1: that's causing these things to come to life. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it could just be that it's his imagination because he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be around people anymore, and so his
Speaker 1: only escape is to to deal with people that don't
Speaker 1: really exist.
Speaker 2: The theory I had on Night at the Museum. I
Speaker 2: read this a while back and it said that tablet
Speaker 2: referred to acid and so he was tripping balls on
Speaker 2: his night shift, and I was like, damn, that's good.
Speaker 3: I like it. What do you got angels in the outfield?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So this movie starts with a with two foster boys,
Speaker 3: Roger and JP, riding their bikes passed well well past
Speaker 3: their foster mom's requested time to be home. Right, So,
Speaker 3: right off the bat, both Roger the older boy, and
Speaker 3: JP establier guidelines that these two kids do not listen
Speaker 3: to rules very well, and they don't care. They have
Speaker 3: their own agenda and they want to do their own
Speaker 3: thing right. They push boundaries, they break rules. He solidifies
Speaker 3: this because he kind of drags JP along with him
Speaker 3: to sneak to an angel's game the very next day.
Speaker 3: While watching it in a tree, he gets in trouble
Speaker 3: with one of the security guards, and the security guards like, hey,
Speaker 3: I hope you have tickets for that tree right. Well, so,
Speaker 3: right off the bat, I didn't really care to say
Speaker 3: that these kids were good kids, because there's two glaring
Speaker 3: signs that show that these kids were just okay with
Speaker 3: breaking rules. So the movie goes on Roger being determined
Speaker 3: to have a family. He goes to bed saying I'm
Speaker 3: sorry I skipped apart. So when Roger gets home, he
Speaker 3: meets his dad. His dad comes in and says, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna love you anymore. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna put you up for adoption. Basically, I'm going on
Speaker 3: the road. I can't take care of you. I'm a
Speaker 3: piece of shit. Right, So Roger determined to have a family.
Speaker 3: He goes to bed praying for the Angels to win
Speaker 3: the Pennant because that's just what his dad said. His
Speaker 3: dad had said that we could be a family if
Speaker 3: the Angels ever win the Pennant. Well, his dad was
Speaker 3: a douchebag, and he knew that the Angels weren't going
Speaker 3: to win the Pennant because they sucked. They were the
Speaker 3: worst team in baseball, right. The movie then cuts to
Speaker 3: the kids at an Angel's game the very next day,
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, this angel comes down out
Speaker 3: of nowhere to help the outfielder Williams make a miraculous catch.
Speaker 3: It's kind of weird that Roger's the only one that
Speaker 3: can see him, even though he's the one that made
Speaker 3: the prayer. Right. So at that point, when I was
Speaker 3: watching this movie, I kind of had a weird theory like, Okay,
Speaker 3: maybe this kid's dreaming and then none of this is real.
Speaker 3: But the movie goes on, and there's too much later
Speaker 3: on in the movie that kind of stood out, and
Speaker 3: it led me to believe that really the hidden part
Speaker 3: of this is that the angels are a piece of shit.
Speaker 3: These angels aren't actually angels from God. They are angels
Speaker 3: that broke free from Heaven and we're just dicking around
Speaker 3: doing whatever they wanted because that's what they could do.
Speaker 3: And here's the evidence why. As you go on, you
Speaker 3: see these angels come down and they make these miraculous plays,
Speaker 3: and they turn this ragtag team of misfits and underdogs,
Speaker 3: who is who are all slated to be either kicked
Speaker 3: out of the kicked out of the MLB or traded
Speaker 3: or dropped or whatever, and they turn them into these winners. Well,
Speaker 3: what's so good about that? Why do these guys did?
Speaker 3: Why do these guys deserve to win over all the
Speaker 3: other teams who have put in just as much time
Speaker 3: and effort and practice into winning. It seems like these
Speaker 3: angels have just kind of come down to create a
Speaker 3: little bit of havoc. This team that is in last
Speaker 3: place is destined for last place, is destined for bad things.
Speaker 3: It's supposed to go that way. They have now decided
Speaker 3: that's not going to be the case. They go on
Speaker 3: to make them win games. They put them in the
Speaker 3: pennant chase, which inevitably takes other teams out of the
Speaker 3: pennet race. Right, So, now we've got a team full
Speaker 3: of misfits, underdogs, ungrateful, little pricks.
Speaker 6: Who don't belong, who don't belong talent talent wise, they
Speaker 6: don't belong. Correct talent wise, they don't belong. Are now
Speaker 6: in the race for the pennant. And there are other
Speaker 6: teams talent wise who do belong and they're not. They're
Speaker 6: getting punished because these Angels wanted to help some kid,
Speaker 6: some random kid, possibly get a family. Well what about
Speaker 6: all these other teams that are losing. We know that
Speaker 6: there are fans out there who get drunk and watch
Speaker 6: sports and then they turn around and they beat their kids.
Speaker 6: So now think about that for a second. When you
Speaker 6: have a team like the Padres or the Yankees who
Speaker 6: are supposed to be the Angels and they don't, and
Speaker 6: that person at home gets drunk because they're pissed off
Speaker 6: that they've lost to the Angels. Now a one kid,
Speaker 6: one kid makes it all okay that there's hundreds of
Speaker 6: kids now getting their asses beat by their drunk parent
Speaker 6: or uncle or whatever, because what this kid wants a family.
Speaker 3: Get fucked angels. These angels are just dicking around doing
Speaker 3: whatever they want. It's not okay, It is not okay.
Speaker 3: These angels were bad people. And then to just solidify
Speaker 3: it even more, to put that nail in the coffin.
Speaker 3: Towards the end of the movie, Al played by Lloyd
Speaker 3: says to Roger, this twelve year old fucking kid. Oh, hey,
Speaker 3: by the way, this guy that you idolized, this superstar,
Speaker 3: he's gonna die in six months, man, choke on that.
Speaker 3: Oh we can't and we can't help out with the pennant,
Speaker 3: and we can't help you win because well we can't,
Speaker 3: even though we've been dicking around, screwing, screwing with these
Speaker 3: people this whole year. We can't. We can't be the
Speaker 3: reason they win, even though we've been the reason they're here.
Speaker 3: We can't be the reason they finish. So you might
Speaker 3: not actually get your family after all. Sorry, that's pretty
Speaker 3: messed up. These angels were douchebags. They weren't. I don't
Speaker 3: even know if they were really angels. They could have
Speaker 3: just been some kind of magical entities that were out
Speaker 3: there screwing around because they wanted to have fun, like
Speaker 3: this is the devil at work, not the not the
Speaker 3: God that people wanted to believe it was, So yeah,
Speaker 3: fuck them angels.
Speaker 1: I think that's a hot take. I think it's a
Speaker 1: great take.
Speaker 2: I mean the movie is just mass hysteria induced, you know,
Speaker 2: fucking a mass anxiety induced hysteria. You know, probably the
Speaker 2: owners like we're gonna get rid of the angels, y'all
Speaker 2: fucking suck, you know, and everybody on that team and
Speaker 2: the kids and everyone else who are like, oh, it's
Speaker 2: angels coming down, and so they magically bust their ass.
Speaker 2: But in reality they were just become, you know, fucking
Speaker 2: jobless because they were shitty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, god damn, they's just been bad angels. Yeah, absolutely
Speaker 3: have you have you guys had movies recently, like you, like,
Speaker 3: you know, Angels in the Outfield where you go back
Speaker 3: and watch it and it looks different, feels different than
Speaker 3: what you remember, like maybe a movie that you haven't
Speaker 3: watched in a long time. Because that because Angels in
Speaker 3: the Outfield kind of did that for me, I rewatched it.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen it in a while. It's been quite
Speaker 3: a few years since i've seen it, probably like three.
Speaker 2: And when I.
Speaker 3: Went back to watch it for this, there were certain
Speaker 3: things that I had missed that made kind of shit
Speaker 3: a different light on the movie this time around. Not
Speaker 3: that I still like the movie. It's still a great movie, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I have recently, but uh, I
Speaker 1: do like watching things, and you know, rewatching things that
Speaker 1: are from a while back, just to see, like as
Speaker 1: an adult, what the perspective is now. You know, it's
Speaker 1: like any of especially any of those kids movies, Angels
Speaker 1: in the Outfield, the Big Green, all all that kind
Speaker 1: of ship Like, watching it as an adult now changes
Speaker 1: the entire perspective.
Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely of.
Speaker 1: How these movies are. I will say, Angels in the
Speaker 1: Outfield talk about a quietly like stacked cast.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean Matthew McConaughey was a nobody at that time, Yeah, nobody,
Speaker 1: and he was, and so yeah, but if you if
Speaker 1: you actually look at that cast, like that was a
Speaker 1: pretty damn stacked cast.
Speaker 3: Well you had Danny Glover, Joseph Joseph, Gordon Levitt, Matthew McConaughey,
Speaker 3: Christopher Tonyoyd, Tony Danza, Christopher Lloyd, Adrian Brodie.
Speaker 1: Who's that that blonde guy? Now now he's kind of
Speaker 1: got great hair, but blonde guy.
Speaker 3: Neil McDonough The Crazy Picture, Yeah, Yeah, who else was
Speaker 3: in it? Dermick mulroney. He's been in a lot of movies.
Speaker 3: J O Sanders was in a lot of movies. There
Speaker 3: is another when I actually did a little bit of research,
Speaker 3: there was another theory about Maggie Nelson, the the Mom,
Speaker 3: the foster mom, the foster mom, that said that she's
Speaker 3: actually a genie and these guys were not angels, that
Speaker 3: these were part of her granting him the wish. And
Speaker 3: the crossover movie is Home Alone on two when she's
Speaker 3: the bird lady in Home Alone two and she ends
Speaker 3: up granting Kevin his wish. Yeah, so that she just
Speaker 3: kind of goes around. But I couldn't find another movie
Speaker 3: where she was like a weird mom that kind of
Speaker 3: had the same vibe to it, that same outcome. But
Speaker 3: that was kind of a cool one. I saw that
Speaker 3: somewhere online.
Speaker 1: That's interesting.
Speaker 2: That lady.
Speaker 3: Is she dead?
Speaker 2: I think she died here or last year. It was
Speaker 2: like recent, let's look it up.
Speaker 3: Holy shit, Well you don't want to see a picture.
Speaker 2: Wrong page of porn hub.
Speaker 3: Right, damn her older.
Speaker 2: He's been on Grandma Hub eighty years old.
Speaker 3: She is or was? It doesn't say on IMBB. It'll
Speaker 3: tell you if they've died. That's a lot of work.
Speaker 1: It's usually at the top.
Speaker 3: I'm chill. I'm looking for right now. Born. It just
Speaker 3: says born, but there's no death.
Speaker 1: So she hasn't died yet.
Speaker 2: Oh maybe not. I thought she did die.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, Nope, her spouse. She has a bouse that
Speaker 3: died eighty eight.
Speaker 1: That was a while ago. It's a hot minute, Dan,
Speaker 1: all right, well that was good. I like that was
Speaker 1: that was fun. I we haven't done in Dad's I
Speaker 1: couldn't tell you the last time we did Dad's Advocate.
Speaker 1: It's been a long long.
Speaker 3: Long yeah, long long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I missed it. I missed it. I've been I've been
Speaker 3: wanting to do it for a little while. Yeah, either either.
Speaker 3: You guys have a March Madness bracket going.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: I actually still have my final intact I I am
Speaker 1: actually I actually have three of the final four teams
Speaker 1: intact the one I don't is Auburn I had Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, no, I apologize. I had Alabama beating Duke
Speaker 1: and going to the final four and then losing to Houston.
Speaker 1: And I have Houston in the final losing to Florida,
Speaker 1: and I had Florida beating my One of my final
Speaker 1: four teams got ousted in the second can't round and
Speaker 1: it was Iowa State. I was going for one of those.
Speaker 1: It's not very often that you get all four one
Speaker 1: seeds making it to the final four, like this year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the times I can remember are only a couple times. Ever,
Speaker 1: Usually you get a three seed, you get something weird,
Speaker 1: like an eight or nine seed in there. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: usually don't get all four number one seeds made though.
Speaker 3: So I only did two brackets. I got Duke versus Florida.
Speaker 3: But it was tough to It was tough to not
Speaker 3: take Houston. Houston's kind of a dark horse, even though
Speaker 3: they're number one. Nobody really expected them.
Speaker 1: I don't think, well, even if you're number one overall,
Speaker 1: when you when you make a run in the you
Speaker 1: run into these teams that are they can just be
Speaker 1: better because your conference plays not as good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, yeah, absolutely so, but it'll be exciting.
Speaker 3: I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm rooting for Duke,
Speaker 3: of course, so I been a Duke fan for most
Speaker 3: of my life. Hate Duke. I know that's fine.
Speaker 2: I hate them.
Speaker 1: I hate North Carolina and it's not because I'm a
Speaker 1: Florida fan. I just I don't like either one. Coach
Speaker 1: K is a fucking douchebag. I want to talk about it,
Speaker 1: fucking Dad's advocate. Let's talk about that fucking faggot because
Speaker 1: I can't stand him.
Speaker 3: That's an underrated take.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so I know I really don't.
Speaker 3: I'm a I'm a DO fan, but I get it.
Speaker 1: I don't like that they don't like North Carolina.
Speaker 2: I just don't.
Speaker 1: Never have never there.
Speaker 3: Are there are a lot of stories where with Coach
Speaker 3: K that you don't really hear too often, but they're
Speaker 3: not good. Yeah yeah, yeah, Hey, you just look at him.
Speaker 1: It's a douchebag.
Speaker 3: You can tell.
Speaker 1: Just look at him.
Speaker 3: Smart though, smart coach.
Speaker 1: I didn't say it wasn't smart. He's smart coach. So
Speaker 1: so yeah, that's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I wasn't sure if we were going to
Speaker 3: have time for this one. I threw another segment in
Speaker 3: here called Devious and Wild. I wanted to name it
Speaker 3: devious and Wild. And it was for us to find
Speaker 3: things to do to an X or someone you just like,
Speaker 3: or to find an example of something that happened on
Speaker 3: the internet. And I figure we could just if we
Speaker 3: did end up coming up with this one and having
Speaker 3: the time to mess around with it, we could even
Speaker 3: just do things off the cuff. I don't know if
Speaker 3: you guys grabbed anything off the internet.
Speaker 1: I actually had a story that I that I It
Speaker 1: was me. Yeah, when I was younger, So I was
Speaker 1: dating this girl that I was really into, and actually
Speaker 1: is the day that Stone moved back to Vegas when
Speaker 1: he was a young lady. I was at that party,
Speaker 1: had got a stupid blackout drunk shit face, and then
Speaker 1: the next day had to help help them move shit
Speaker 1: from there. He was bad, one hundred and twenty degree
Speaker 1: with it so bad it's bad. But anyway, so this
Speaker 1: girl that that I was dating, and the reason for
Speaker 1: the blackout drunk was because we had broken up, and
Speaker 1: I was super pissed off about it because I was
Speaker 1: way into her. Well, a couple months down on the road,
Speaker 1: she called me out of the blue because she she
Speaker 1: was like, I really don't want to do this, but
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to walk home and I
Speaker 1: need a ride. And I was like, no, I'm happy,
Speaker 1: happy to give you a ride. Like, no big deal,
Speaker 1: I'll come pick you up, give you a ride. So
Speaker 1: I did, and we hooked up, and then again later
Speaker 1: that week, same thing, right, And so then I was
Speaker 1: listening to I was in a big phase at that
Speaker 1: time of listening to comedians and I had different CDs
Speaker 1: like you know, Dane Cook and Rodney Carrington and all that,
Speaker 1: but I have one also that was Daniel Tosh, and
Speaker 1: Daniel Tosh had this segment at the time that he
Speaker 1: was like, you know, what's a really fun game to
Speaker 1: do is just randomly text your exes or call your
Speaker 1: exes and say, hey, I don't want to do it
Speaker 1: this way, but you should probably go get tested. And
Speaker 1: so I thought, I was like, ah, that's a pretty
Speaker 1: funny idea. So I shot a text and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: just like you should know you might want to go
Speaker 1: get tested because I just got tested and I'm not
Speaker 1: sure where it lies. And my phone blew up like
Speaker 1: all pissed off, all angry, and then like, I responded,
Speaker 1: I waited.
Speaker 3: Like a day right that, which is a thousand times worse.
Speaker 1: And I responded back. I was like, I was just
Speaker 1: messing around. It's a segment comedian blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And she's like, well, it's not fucking funny, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you're right, it wasn't funny, apologize fucking hilarious.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: It was hilarious. So then like four weeks later, I
Speaker 1: get a text like hey, I'm late, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you need to ride for work, like you're late for
Speaker 1: work or what's up? And she's like, no, I'm late
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, I don't understand. She was like
Speaker 1: like I haven't hit my period and I was like fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm like, are you serious. Three fucking days go by,
Speaker 1: not a word, and then she finally texts back sorry,
Speaker 1: just kidding, and then we never spoke after that. That
Speaker 1: was nice, and I tipped my cap. I was like, two,
Speaker 1: you got petty for petty bitch, But.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was She's probably talking to what her friends
Speaker 2: about it. One of our friends probably was like you're
Speaker 2: telling you Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3: I would be fucking rude as hell.
Speaker 1: Excuse what do you got?
Speaker 3: So, did you guys know that you can, uh, you
Speaker 3: can order some hissing cockroaches off Amazon, live hits hissing
Speaker 3: cockroaches off of Amazon. Yeah. You also know that you
Speaker 3: can put in someone's address and then send it as
Speaker 3: a gift, so it does it doesn't actually have a
Speaker 3: receipt or a return address. So it's very, very relatively
Speaker 3: for the most part, untraceable. If you really wanted to
Speaker 3: be a dick, you could even just create a burner
Speaker 3: account and uh yeah, then there's.
Speaker 1: Create a burner account and get a like a visa
Speaker 1: like prepaid card. Really take it to that level.
Speaker 2: M h.
Speaker 3: If you're Rick really paranoid, not saying you should do this,
Speaker 3: but I'm just saying, yeah, you can actually by hissing
Speaker 3: cockers like live hissing cockroaches. They come just fucking in
Speaker 3: the box. So could you imagine opening up a box
Speaker 3: and it's just nothing but cockroaches hissing at you, hissing
Speaker 3: fucking cock like the box is hissing to begin with,
Speaker 3: Like you put on the faggots.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 3: I can handle a lot of things. I don't think
Speaker 3: I can handle that, you know, yeah, fuck that nonsense.
Speaker 1: All right, So back to my previous question from earlier
Speaker 1: in the episode. What if somebody sent you a bag of,
Speaker 1: let's make it spicy, twenty five eat a dick, gummy dicks? Right,
Speaker 1: you've heard of that, right, dum okay, yeah, right, Like
Speaker 1: you could send a bag of dicks to somebody. So
Speaker 1: twenty five one of them is one hundred milligram edible.
Speaker 1: How many are you gonna eat out of that bag?
Speaker 1: You gotta wait, twenty five chance.
Speaker 3: I'm probably not gonna eat them because it would weird Yeah,
Speaker 3: it would weird me out.
Speaker 2: What's the incentive to eat them?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're gummies, They're gummys.
Speaker 2: The edible. No, Joey Diaz ain't biting me today.
Speaker 3: I would probably I would probably not eat them, But
Speaker 3: what I would probably do is take them somewhere to
Speaker 3: like one of the local places that have candy dishes
Speaker 3: and just dump them in there, like Remax, Like go
Speaker 3: to Remax and just dump them in the fucking ball
Speaker 3: at the secretary's fucking desk, so just all of their
Speaker 3: guests that come in. It's a fucking crab shute.
Speaker 5: I mean, one of the next twenty five people is
Speaker 5: gonna hate their fucking life for the next day.
Speaker 2: Oh is that a candy dick?
Speaker 3: I haven't had one forever?
Speaker 2: Like, have one?
Speaker 3: Could you imagine going in to buy a car, You
Speaker 3: go in to buy a brand new cars, stoned out
Speaker 3: of your mind, You're on a driving All of a sudden,
Speaker 3: you're just like, oh, what the hell?
Speaker 1: What the hell is going on right now? Might being drugged?
Speaker 2: Not only did you buy a lemon, they wanted you
Speaker 2: get fucked too.
Speaker 3: Damn that'd be pretty fucking good. That would be really good.
Speaker 1: That's fine. What do you got stunt?
Speaker 2: I got this? Uh The story here from Reddit. The
Speaker 2: title was I purposely dropped my shopping basket on a
Speaker 2: stranger's foot Jesus, he said. So. I was at this
Speaker 2: local grocery store a few blocks away from my house.
Speaker 2: I'm just minding my business, waiting in line. I was
Speaker 2: literally the next to check out. Went out of nowhere, boom,
Speaker 2: this lady cuts right in front of me. At first,
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, whatever, you know, she only had
Speaker 2: three items. It was fine, it's not no big deal.
Speaker 2: It was gonna let it go. But then she looked
Speaker 2: at me, not just a glance. Nope, She gave me
Speaker 2: that look, you know, the one where they scan you
Speaker 2: from head to toe like you're silently judging, like they're
Speaker 2: silently judging everything about you. Yeah, that kind of a look,
Speaker 2: as if I was the one who's wrong. And that's
Speaker 2: when I happened my intrusive thoughts. They clocked right in.
Speaker 2: I took a step closer, didn't say a word, and
Speaker 2: just dropped my basket right on her foot. It wasn't
Speaker 2: anything remotely heavy, but it made a nice little thud. Oh,
Speaker 2: it was satisfying. She flinched, and I swear I heard
Speaker 2: a gasp. But the best part I looked at her,
Speaker 2: gave her a smile and said, oh, I'm sorry. Then
Speaker 2: I picked up my basket like nothing happened and put
Speaker 2: my items in the counter. I mean, come on, I
Speaker 2: was next in mine. Why would you do that? That's diabolical, diabolical.
Speaker 1: I love it, I love it.
Speaker 2: I remember. One of my favorite moments ever was going
Speaker 2: to the Scars and Stripes Festival years and years ago,
Speaker 2: and third band up from the headliner was a band
Speaker 2: that No and I love very much, and it was
Speaker 2: hell yeah, and just before Hella comes on, I'm on
Speaker 2: pit duty. As I was at that time, you know,
Speaker 2: just standing in the outside of the pit, catching people
Speaker 2: throwing it back in. This lady that was very much
Speaker 2: so like in her late forties early fifties, like didn't
Speaker 2: look like she belonged there, just kind of went excuse
Speaker 2: me and just stepped right in front of me and
Speaker 2: was just like, Oh, I'm gonna go ahead and take
Speaker 2: this spot. I hope you don't mind. And I was like, no,
Speaker 2: it's okay. If you get your ass beat, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: take it right back. And she was like what And
Speaker 2: I was like, don't worries. You're good, You're gonna eat shit,
Speaker 2: but I hope you could do pit duty, but you're
Speaker 2: on and she just give his looks like weirdo. And
Speaker 2: I was like, you've you have no idea what's about
Speaker 2: to come? Do you? And her friend kind of stands
Speaker 2: right next to her.
Speaker 1: Right here comes Cliff from Iowa, who's eating nothing but corn,
Speaker 1: who's built.
Speaker 2: Rick pissing vinegar. Right, two dudes, two dudes pissing vinegar,
Speaker 2: fucking collide. Oh God. So we're like two songs into
Speaker 2: the set, right, and I can't remember what it was,
Speaker 2: probably have been started Riot, but the pit starts going right,
Speaker 2: and these two really big dudes and kind of been
Speaker 2: going at each other right. It was it was kind
Speaker 2: of like if you ever seen Ferdinand. It was like
Speaker 2: the two bowls at the end fight, and it was
Speaker 2: like that exactly. And these dudes were just fucking going
Speaker 2: at it, and these chicks are not moving. And I
Speaker 2: look and right in front of her, I see the
Speaker 2: one guy looking at the other dude right and he
Speaker 2: locks with him. And as soon as the guy gets
Speaker 2: like parallel to us, he charges, and I went, oh,
Speaker 2: here it is, and so I went whoop, and I
Speaker 2: took a big old step to the right and pushed
Speaker 2: Darius away, and this dude gets hit by homie. Both
Speaker 2: homies fly through the sky and slam into this lady
Speaker 2: and this lady and her other friend fall and hit
Speaker 2: the concrete hard. And this lady looks at me, and
Speaker 2: I was like, that's why you don't steal spots, you
Speaker 2: dumb bitch. And I went right back into my spot
Speaker 2: and got right back into pit duty. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: oh it was petty, but it was so worth it,
Speaker 2: dumb ass.
Speaker 3: That's a fuck around and find out moment for sure, Yes,
Speaker 3: that was a real fuck around and find out moment.
Speaker 3: She had no idea what was gonna happen, no idea.
Speaker 3: The most the most interesting stuff she had been to
Speaker 3: was probably like def.
Speaker 2: Leppard, you know, like we weren't ready for that sweet.
Speaker 3: And what fucked up is it? You know, people of
Speaker 3: all ages are welcome at venues like that. Like, I've
Speaker 3: never seen a venue that has discriminated against age. It's
Speaker 3: just stupidity, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, you know it was all rock, yeah, and
Speaker 2: it was it was a raising money for the troops, right,
Speaker 2: and Ron White actually like half produced it. And I
Speaker 2: saw him there. He was he was like headbanging in
Speaker 2: the front row to Blackstone Cherry and uh, the lead
Speaker 2: guitar player at one point goes, holy shit, that's fucking
Speaker 2: Ron White. And you just see Ron White just over
Speaker 2: there just banging his head like, oh, and he's fucked
Speaker 2: up on on down whatever. His tequila's down Hulu or something.
Speaker 2: I can't remember which one it.
Speaker 1: Is, but he's fucked up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was great, It's amazing.
Speaker 3: So I found this one online and I'd like to
Speaker 3: know your guys' thought and how you would react to it.
Speaker 3: So it's talks about this woman. So her ex husband
Speaker 3: left for a friend of hers, and what she did
Speaker 3: was she took all the zippers off his shirts and
Speaker 3: pants and all the buttons, so she packed his clothes
Speaker 3: for him. But what she did was she removed all
Speaker 3: the buttons off the shirts, all the zippers off the
Speaker 3: pants and shorts and things, so essentially rendering all of
Speaker 3: them fucking useless, diabolical.
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna any much time for zippers and buttons
Speaker 1: when you're fucking.
Speaker 3: True story.
Speaker 2: I don't like lingree because it looks great on the floor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why do you need buttons if she's just gonna
Speaker 3: rip them off? Anyway?
Speaker 2: Fair?
Speaker 1: I mean in that story, I guess you got what
Speaker 1: you got coming to you, because why would you let
Speaker 1: her pack for you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no way, no way, no fucking yeah, no way. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I did find a story online about Cora releasing Ana
Speaker 3: Conda's in her exes. Yeah, that one was real. So
Speaker 3: the example I gave you guys was, you know, Florida,
Speaker 3: Florida woman let to Anna kind of Ana Conda loosen
Speaker 3: boyfriend's home after she caught him cheating with her mother.
Speaker 3: I'd be so fucked up, dude, what fu what?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: I just want to get pictures how hot it's the mom?
Speaker 3: Yeah right, yeah, right, I mean it's it's either it's
Speaker 3: it's Florida. It's a or B she Polar show way
Speaker 3: work he was doing, which you know, I mean that's
Speaker 3: the premise of Jerry Springer every time, right, is that
Speaker 3: the one one side isn't putting out, so it goes
Speaker 3: somewhere else. Right, So, and that's what Florida is. Florida
Speaker 3: is just one fucking giant Jerry Springer show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a fair assessment. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Could you guys ever live in Florida?
Speaker 2: I think so. I don't know. I go back and forth.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like yes, and sometimes I'm like fuck no,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: There are parts of Florida that are gorgeous, yeah, like gorgeous,
Speaker 3: and then there are other parts that are just hot
Speaker 3: fucking garbage, like you know, like most of Florida. Yeah,
Speaker 3: where there's there's bars. There's bars everywhere on everything that
Speaker 3: can possibly need a bar. In a burger camp. Well,
Speaker 3: I mean think about it, right, So it's like you
Speaker 3: just said, bars.
Speaker 1: On everything that could need a bar. There's you're you're
Speaker 1: basically not an island, but you're pretty much close to
Speaker 1: an island. You're surrounded by sharks, you're infested with alligators,
Speaker 1: you got crazy people fucking everywhere, and you got the
Speaker 1: South right above you. Like what what sounds like?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What part of that's?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me go stand Florida. Yeah, I go visit,
Speaker 1: but that's about it.
Speaker 2: And the North is like so vastly different from the South,
Speaker 2: because is the South is all like super blue, you know,
Speaker 2: and densely populated and a melting pot, and then North
Speaker 2: is just a bunch of people screaming the South will
Speaker 2: rise again. It's like, whoa.
Speaker 3: Vastly different?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that Panhandle gets wild wild.
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like I would love to live there,
Speaker 2: But at the same time, it would be terrible to
Speaker 2: go walking outside and then like you know, having walking
Speaker 2: your dog and then a fucking gator come up. Snatch,
Speaker 2: where did the dog go? There's an anecon in the backyard? Snatch?
Speaker 2: You know? Yeah, is that a fucking Huntsman spider? I
Speaker 2: thought that was only in Australia.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's wild. How Florida is so polarizing for that,
Speaker 3: like for all of those reasons, right, any other state,
Speaker 3: if you're like, oh, could you live in New York,
Speaker 3: You're like, eh, you know, yeah, there's probably some parts,
Speaker 3: you know, could you live could you live in Oklahoma?
Speaker 3: There's probably some parts, but you just second you get
Speaker 3: to Florida, you're like, yeah.
Speaker 2: And it's funny because that one's probably the most realistic
Speaker 2: one for us to actually live in. You know, like, like,
Speaker 2: are we gonna go live in Oklahoma? It's cheap at ship,
Speaker 2: but the tornadoes are terrible and there's nothing to do.
Speaker 2: New York it's so fucking densely popular, king with tornadoes,
Speaker 2: that's all it is. You know, Fucking New York is
Speaker 2: terrible unless you go to the North, and North is
Speaker 2: just bitter cold and country.
Speaker 3: But you'd rather put up with that than fucking alligators
Speaker 3: and spiders at the size of your face, and you know,
Speaker 3: random trailer park trash that lives in nice homes.
Speaker 1: I don't know though, and all kinds of sharks on
Speaker 1: all sides. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't that.
Speaker 2: Would make for some great fishing.
Speaker 3: There actually is some really good fishing off the coast
Speaker 3: of Florida. Yeah, there there is some really good fishing
Speaker 3: off the coast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, crabin, all that ship, dude, everything is.
Speaker 3: All right off there.
Speaker 2: But yeah lobsters, yeah, swimming as they would stay down.
Speaker 3: There, plus hurricanes plus her all the time.
Speaker 2: Damn. But can you imagine looking out at your like
Speaker 2: fucking mango tree and orange tree and all that shit
Speaker 2: growing in the backyard. It's still there after that, and
Speaker 2: you're like, God, bless America. Goddamn.
Speaker 3: Oh jeez, Florida is literally GTA on hard mode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is like you start with three stars.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.
Speaker 2: Oh you know, you know I found out something last
Speaker 2: night about GTA. Did you know, Like the concept for
Speaker 2: GTA came up out of Ron Howard's first movie he
Speaker 2: made when he was like a kid. Really he was
Speaker 2: in the seventies. I think he was like twenty years old,
Speaker 2: directed his first movie and it was literally about like
Speaker 2: him dating this girl and borrowing their dad's rolls Royce
Speaker 2: and like taking across country and like the cops are
Speaker 2: chasing them, bounty hunters are chasing um. Yeah. Like and
Speaker 2: then they were like, let's make a video game about that.
Speaker 2: That's fun and then bam, now there's like one of
Speaker 2: the best selling video games of all time, if not
Speaker 2: the best. This is because of Ron Howard's first movie.
Speaker 2: Wow interesting hmm wow wow wow.
Speaker 1: All right, well I guess that can wrap it up.
Speaker 1: We're at that time, right Yeah, so uh that's on
Speaker 1: take one sixty nine. Catch you next week, peace out later,
Speaker 1: catch out.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie this move. It was kind of nice.
Speaker 2: You keep playing with your I do, I do like jiggling.
Speaker 2: We don't notice, but you're gonna keep this tab open afterwards, like, oh,
Speaker 2: I've already said a couple of screenshots.
Speaker 3: Don't worry. Yeah, we're good.
Speaker 2: Yeah you did.
Speaker 3: Hey, what's gray and comes in pints.
Speaker 2: A d? Chris Farley?
Speaker 3: An elephant? Mm hmmm?
Speaker 2: Or the finger at Chili's, you know, or the finger
Speaker 2: in the chili at Wendy's. Chilis the finger. There's some
Speaker 2: elephants at Chili's. There's something getting fingered at the parking
Speaker 2: lot at Chili's.
Speaker 1: But finger in the parking lot of chilies. You ain't
Speaker 1: living life