Speaker 1: Welcome to Mortgage Talk with Mark Harriston, the program that
Speaker 1: not only talks about mortgages, taxes, and interest rates, but
Speaker 1: Mark and his guest talk real estate trends and your home.
Speaker 1: He also answers your mortgage questions to help you make
Speaker 1: the right financing or refinancing decisions.
Speaker 2: Now here's Mark Hairston.
Speaker 3: Happy to everybody, and welcome back to Mortgage Talk with Mark.
Speaker 3: And today we are not talking about the mortgage business
Speaker 3: on certain levels. On certainly we're going to because I'm
Speaker 3: going to talk about some personal experiences in my business
Speaker 3: relative to this conversation today. And I'm with a good
Speaker 3: friend of mine. I've known Scott probably fifteen years, maybe
Speaker 3: maybe a little bit longer. I've done some personal coaching
Speaker 3: with him, and he's extraordinary man. As a matter of fact,
Speaker 3: I wrote down four things that I know Scott to be.
Speaker 3: Uh oh yeah. A speaker and a keynote speaker as
Speaker 3: well for corporations. He's also a coach, either group coaching
Speaker 3: or personal coaching for business leaders. Primarily, he's an evangelist
Speaker 3: and past true and finally he's an author of a
Speaker 3: book that we're going to dig into a lot called
Speaker 3: Can I trust you. The silent question. Everyone in business
Speaker 3: at asking. It's very true, the silent question. It's a
Speaker 3: very deep conversation today we're going to have. So I
Speaker 3: want torod my buddy Scott, Scott Carly and kind of
Speaker 3: tell us your background and what you want to share
Speaker 3: with us.
Speaker 2: Well, thanks, Mark Man. It's great to be here. And yes,
Speaker 2: we have known each other a long time. I had
Speaker 2: a lot of friendship, a lot of laughs. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I remember.
Speaker 3: It was also funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember when you were in one of my
Speaker 2: niche networking group classes and we just we had a
Speaker 2: great time. So it's good to be here today. Yeah.
Speaker 2: My background is a theology. All my formal training is
Speaker 2: in theology. In my twenties, I was an evangelist.
Speaker 3: Did you go to Bible College?
Speaker 2: I did. I went to a private college in Houston,
Speaker 2: another private college in Stockton, California. And after I left
Speaker 2: college there, I became a youth pastor in La Then
Speaker 2: I became a youth astor in central Louisiana. Married a girl,
Speaker 2: a girl from my home church, and then we started
Speaker 2: traveling as an evangelist, which means.
Speaker 3: We went bear of good news, the bear.
Speaker 2: Of good news. We went to church to church around
Speaker 2: the country, and over the ten years that I did that,
Speaker 2: I went to forty seven states. Wow, and you know,
Speaker 2: preach for ten years. But I've it became real obvious
Speaker 2: that I was good at helping churches and their leadership
Speaker 2: teams and their organizational staff and develop outreach programs. So
Speaker 2: that's really what I built my reputation around.
Speaker 3: Awesome. Awesome. Now the book itself. I don't know if
Speaker 3: you've written other books, but this is a very interesting
Speaker 3: book called Can I Trust You? Because this is on
Speaker 3: the back of everybody's mind in business and personal relationships
Speaker 3: and dating, you know, So break down a little bit
Speaker 3: for us why you wrote the book and why is
Speaker 3: it so important to everybody to kind of understand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, trust is a big deal. And over a period
Speaker 2: of time, I just became more and more aware of
Speaker 2: this fog thing called trust, but I didn't really know
Speaker 2: how to put my finger on it. And I read
Speaker 2: some great books that really helped me to understand it.
Speaker 2: But one of the things that I couldn't find anybody
Speaker 2: had was a way to score trust. You know, I
Speaker 2: trust you or I don't trust you. Is it a
Speaker 2: yes or a no? Or is there a gradient? And
Speaker 2: somewhere along the way I started thinking about the FIKA financial.
Speaker 3: Score that we use in the mortgage space.
Speaker 2: That's right, we all have a fight. Yeah, if you
Speaker 2: go to your credit card and look at it, it'll
Speaker 2: say you know what your your Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: That's right. And and the idea is it scores you
Speaker 2: on six or seven different areas. And when when trust
Speaker 2: is high, when you're when your fight A credit score
Speaker 2: is high, then doors open, they'll loan your money. Things happen,
Speaker 2: you get lower rates on all kinds of stuff, more credits.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's right. But when when your fight A
Speaker 2: score goes down because it's got some glitches in it.
Speaker 2: Did you miss some payments so you're you don't have
Speaker 2: enough cash on hand or whatever, then it goes down,
Speaker 2: and so your opportunities go down as well. Well. Trust
Speaker 2: is the same way. You know, when when you have
Speaker 2: a strong trust credit score, then doors open for you.
Speaker 2: People welcome you in and they want to bargain with you,
Speaker 2: they want to do business with you. But when you
Speaker 2: get glitches in your trust, then your score goes down.
Speaker 2: People start ghosting you, they're not picking up the phone,
Speaker 2: anymore that I don't want to talk with you. They're
Speaker 2: distancing themselves. So I figured out the five different areas
Speaker 2: where trust is scored.
Speaker 3: Yeah, five different areas.
Speaker 2: Five different areas where trust is scored. And most of
Speaker 2: the time when people are scoring you, it's unconscious. They're
Speaker 2: not even thinking about it.
Speaker 3: I'm feeling it, but they can't put a finger that's.
Speaker 2: Right, And I help people to put a finger on
Speaker 2: love that.
Speaker 3: I love that. And we were talking before the show.
Speaker 3: I was remember a speaker one time. So you know,
Speaker 3: there's different levels of trust. As an example, you may
Speaker 3: trust a friend or even a relative, you know, to
Speaker 3: house sits your home while you're on vacation or whatever
Speaker 3: and watch your dogs and walk the dogs, and you
Speaker 3: can trust them to do that. But you're not going
Speaker 3: to trust them to manage your money. Okay, You're going
Speaker 3: to trust somebody else most likely to do that. So
Speaker 3: it depends on the situation too.
Speaker 2: And that's why there's five different areas of trust. Because
Speaker 2: you're right, it's not a blanket thing. I trust you
Speaker 2: with anything and everything. Anybody who says that is not
Speaker 2: really thinking that through. That's when they haven't had that experience.
Speaker 3: And you mentioned a minute ago. Also the economic factor.
Speaker 3: You know, the teams and business as an example, or
Speaker 3: you know, most always have on some level of team
Speaker 3: or assistance or something. And as long as we're our
Speaker 3: capabilities and we produce results, it really builds trust up.
Speaker 3: But once that trust is broken, it's kind of hard
Speaker 3: to get it back.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean right now, if you started thinking
Speaker 2: about it. You you know, where you work, you may
Speaker 2: have somebody who you know, you've asked them for the
Speaker 2: last three weeks to get a report done, they still
Speaker 2: don't have it back to you. Well, if you've got
Speaker 2: a high steak client and a high stake project and
Speaker 2: you really need to get things done and this person
Speaker 2: is not delivering, you're going to replace them. You're gonna
Speaker 2: get somebody else to do that because you need to
Speaker 2: have elite high trust with that person that they will
Speaker 2: get those reports out and keep the speed of business
Speaker 2: flowing fast.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Amen. Amen. So you mentioned the five type Do
Speaker 3: you say five types of trust or the Clive categories?
Speaker 2: I call it about five signals or categories of trust,
Speaker 2: and they're let's explore that. Yeah, they're really simple. The
Speaker 2: first one is you know your vibe, body, language and
Speaker 2: how you show up. When you walk in the door,
Speaker 2: you bring a vibe with you and it's by your
Speaker 2: appearance and your attitude. Fifty five it's of humor, your smile.
Speaker 2: I mean, just by walking in with a smile, you
Speaker 2: can change the energy of a room. Fifty five percent
Speaker 2: of our communication is body language. I mean, how you address,
Speaker 2: how you're standing everything, You're sending me a signal, yeah,
Speaker 2: a good one, or about it?
Speaker 3: That's interesting, Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2: The second one is your motives, your motives and intentions,
Speaker 2: and you know very quickly based on behavior, not always
Speaker 2: just what you say, but I'm watching your behavior, and
Speaker 2: your behavior is going to tell me about your intentions,
Speaker 2: your motives. You know, why are we here? What are
Speaker 2: you really trying to get from me? And in sales,
Speaker 2: that's a big deal. In sales, there's a funny term
Speaker 2: we use called commission breath.
Speaker 3: That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2: And commission breath is when people pick up immediately you
Speaker 2: don't care about me. All you want is the commission
Speaker 2: and whatever you have to say or do well that
Speaker 2: drops your trust credits go down way low.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I want to hit on that just for
Speaker 3: a minute, because I know, a lot of your background
Speaker 3: has been in networking, professional networking. Yeah, you know, and
Speaker 3: when I meet somebody myself too. I've been to a
Speaker 3: lot of those events, if you will, and you can
Speaker 3: kind of tell pretty quick what somebody's intent is, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, because they're trying to push something on you
Speaker 3: or without being curious. I think it's more important to
Speaker 3: be curious about the other person than about what we're about.
Speaker 2: That's absolutely correct and a great way to demonstrate good
Speaker 2: intentions are to be interested. Yeah, and when you come
Speaker 2: into a conversation and you're interested in you know, some
Speaker 2: salespeople call that doing discovery and just finding out what's
Speaker 2: going on and just be interested in a person something personal,
Speaker 2: then your trust credit score goes up and their defenses
Speaker 2: come down, right.
Speaker 3: Most more comfortable. So what's the third one?
Speaker 2: Well, the third one has to do with your morals
Speaker 2: and values. And so you know, we have we have
Speaker 2: a moral compass and our integrity, do we walk our talk?
Speaker 2: Are we on the same page about what we think
Speaker 2: is right or wrong? And it's just the truth that
Speaker 2: if if you and I don't have the same values
Speaker 2: and morals, uh, we don't have to have exactly the same,
Speaker 2: but we're not going to walk together very well if
Speaker 2: you if you have and so people are people are
Speaker 2: scoring that, and I like to use the term scoring it,
Speaker 2: not judging it. They're just scoring where your values are
Speaker 2: compared to our values.
Speaker 3: When you say they're scoring it, is there actually a
Speaker 3: number associated with that?
Speaker 2: Yeah? On the Trust Credit score. You know, if you
Speaker 2: buy the book, you're going to see a trust credit score,
Speaker 2: And in it, I recommend that you you score people
Speaker 2: on a scale of one to ten in each of
Speaker 2: those five areas, one being I don't trust you at all.
Speaker 2: Run ten. I have watched you for quite a while
Speaker 2: and your behavior, work with you or worked with you
Speaker 2: for a while, you live with you? Yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 2: ten ten is high? You know I do trust you. Now,
Speaker 2: it's important to remember that trust is fluids. It doesn't
Speaker 2: It's not like you've scored once and it's that way forever,
Speaker 2: because our behavior can change our score. So you score
Speaker 2: people in all those five areas, and then you total
Speaker 2: them divide by five. Now, just like a fight a score.
Speaker 2: I have a trust credit score.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you I think you would recommend that you
Speaker 3: score yourself first.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that it's important to be self aware.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what I would call self trust. Yeah, I trust myself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just see what signals you're sending out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: And it's not a bad idea. Not don't use a
Speaker 2: family member, but maybe use somebody you work with that
Speaker 2: at least kind of likes you and say score me.
Speaker 3: This is huge, this is there. It was going to
Speaker 3: be yeah. Yeah, But you know, I think it's people
Speaker 3: mature and maybe get older and mature, have gone through
Speaker 3: a lot of life. Their their score can change. Obviously
Speaker 3: of course, because their integrity position may have changed. They
Speaker 3: relate to people in a more loving way, possibly a
Speaker 3: more caring way.
Speaker 2: Well, can I talk about that a little bit?
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: So you know, I mentioned to you that I was
Speaker 2: an evangelist and then I was a pastor for ten years,
Speaker 2: built a great church in the Panhandle of Texas, built
Speaker 2: a thirteen thousand, yeah squarefoot worship facility. I mean, we
Speaker 2: were doing great, and I had a huge trust credit
Speaker 2: score around the country with churches and.
Speaker 3: People, and you're the lead pastor there.
Speaker 2: I was the lead pastor there, and so it's great,
Speaker 2: But I let a relationship with a staff member crossed
Speaker 2: the line and I went too far, and man, it was.
Speaker 2: It was terrible. And and after just a few weeks,
Speaker 2: I went to my wife and told her I crossed
Speaker 2: the line. She freaked out. And then I went to
Speaker 2: my church board told them about it, and they accepted
Speaker 2: my resignation. And then my denomination took my license away
Speaker 2: as a pastor. Wow, And as a minister. There's no
Speaker 2: restoration process in that denomination, pretty conservative, none, none, And
Speaker 2: so I submitted myself, really, but I submitted myself to
Speaker 2: five pastors around the country to do some restoration. And
Speaker 2: here's what's cool, Mark, Because I had such a high
Speaker 2: trust credit score before that incident, a megachurch in central
Speaker 2: Louisiana brought me in into a non minister or position
Speaker 2: and an over a period of two years, helped to
Speaker 2: restore me and my family and try to get us
Speaker 2: back together. And it was it was incredible. But because
Speaker 2: of that too, oh that's the understatement. Eventually I had
Speaker 2: to get into the business world because in the ministry
Speaker 2: there just wasn't much opportunity in a full time position. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So I had to start all over in a city Austin,
Speaker 2: Texas where nobody knew me and build a business. So
Speaker 2: I know what it's like to build trust from the
Speaker 2: ground floor up. And today I'm known all over Austin
Speaker 2: as a change energizer and now all over the country
Speaker 2: as a change energizer. And I've helped people to rebuild
Speaker 2: that trust. And that's what that's why I wrote the book,
Speaker 2: because if you're in business or not, trust is the
Speaker 2: gatekeeper of everything you do. It's powerful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not to go into detail, obviously, but tell us
Speaker 3: a little bit more about what you learned about rebuilding
Speaker 3: trust possibly, or the restoration or relationships with others possibly,
Speaker 3: or are just in general about this huge subject of trust. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because it's such a people to use words like trust
Speaker 3: or love, you know, and but they don't. It's too loose,
Speaker 3: you know, it's a very very deep conversation.
Speaker 2: It is loose. And that's why there's five categories, five areas.
Speaker 2: Two that we didn't mention. One was your expertise, your
Speaker 2: skill set, what you're you're trained in, what you have
Speaker 2: knowledge in, you you're you're certified in. And then the
Speaker 2: last one is your track record. You know, can you
Speaker 2: actually do it? You know, just talk about it, but
Speaker 2: you actually do it, walk the walk. Yeah. So in
Speaker 2: in rebuilding what I call fractured or broken trust, and
Speaker 2: we call that trust rehab. Uh, you you just have
Speaker 2: to It is behavior, you know. Covey in his book
Speaker 2: The Speed of Trust says, you can't talk yourself out
Speaker 2: of a problem that you have behaved yourself into, but
Speaker 2: you can behave yourself back into trust, and often faster
Speaker 2: than you think. Well, my my primary concern my my
Speaker 2: wife and I didn't make it okay and the divorce
Speaker 2: we we got, we went through a divorce and to
Speaker 2: this day she has not recovered. And some of that,
Speaker 2: you know, after twenty five years, falls off of it
Speaker 2: being my responsibility. Now that's her responsibility, that's right. But
Speaker 2: my kids were very important to me, and so I
Speaker 2: worked very proactive in my relationship with them to rebuild trust.
Speaker 2: And I believe that I was successful. We have a
Speaker 2: great relationship good to this day.
Speaker 3: Good.
Speaker 2: You know. So it's it's something but something you have
Speaker 2: to work at and it it is a long process.
Speaker 2: Brick by brick man, Yeah, brick by brick. And because
Speaker 2: of something like what I did, I have to make
Speaker 2: sure that there's nothing that they ever see or that
Speaker 2: I do that makes them wonder what's dead?
Speaker 3: Up to right, that's right. Well, and that's that brings
Speaker 3: up a point And I was just thinking about this
Speaker 3: while you were speaking. Is part of that trust building,
Speaker 3: at least initially. And I've known you a long time,
Speaker 3: but I trust you more now because as you were
Speaker 3: transparent with me. You know, transparency is part of that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you don't got to tell your whole story to everybody,
Speaker 3: but you're on the radio man. Yeah, so that's a
Speaker 3: pretty big transparent position right there. I appreciate that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it takes a lot of courage.
Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't easy to do that, and I don't know,
Speaker 2: maybe a year or so ago, the bandage got ripped
Speaker 2: off of that, and it just made me realize that
Speaker 2: I need to find a way to share my story
Speaker 2: without making, you know, anybody feel bad about it. That
Speaker 2: was on the other end of that. And so that's
Speaker 2: what I've tried to do. I want to I want
Speaker 2: to say, you know, to deal with Christians. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm a very devoted Christian. I'm in church every week,
Speaker 2: i have home groups at my house. I'm known for
Speaker 2: all of that, and I had to rebuild that trust.
Speaker 2: But Christians aren't perfect. Christians make mistakes. They make mistakes
Speaker 2: in big ways. And I remember an old saying church
Speaker 2: is not a museum for saying, it's a hospital for sinners.
Speaker 3: Amen.
Speaker 2: And we all, we all have a fluid area of
Speaker 2: how well we do thank goodness for the grace of God.
Speaker 3: She absolutely, Yeah, So let's move into the Christian community
Speaker 3: around this conversation, you know, because what should Christian how
Speaker 3: should we kind of know what we should be doing?
Speaker 3: But how do Christians respond when trust is broken, either
Speaker 3: in a relationship like a marriage or the church leadership
Speaker 3: or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a that's a great question.
Speaker 3: I'll give you an example. Okay, I'm Catholic, and we've
Speaker 3: had a lot of scandal in the Catholic church, you know,
Speaker 3: and a lot of people have left because they're because
Speaker 3: of the sins you know, of the church. So it's
Speaker 3: been a big problem with that in my denomination too.
Speaker 3: But share what you know about that, not that but you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, yeah, sure, Well with any person, whether it's
Speaker 2: your family, your church, whatever it is. As Christians, you know,
Speaker 2: there are times when people are going to break covenant
Speaker 2: with you or or they're gonna do they're gonna have
Speaker 2: a behavior. There's just wrong, and it could be lying,
Speaker 2: it could be stealing, it could be pornography, it could
Speaker 2: be a relationship with somebody that they shouldn't have. And
Speaker 2: one of the things that Christ teaches is repentance. And
Speaker 2: repentance means where you know, first John one to nine,
Speaker 2: if we confess our sin, he is faithful and just
Speaker 2: to forgive us and to cleanses from all unrighteousness. So
Speaker 2: there's a kind of a process that has to go there.
Speaker 2: Number one, you have to confess it. You have to
Speaker 2: own up to it. I did this, it was wrong.
Speaker 2: I take full responsibility for it. So that's huge if
Speaker 2: you want the church to, you know, bring you back
Speaker 2: in and you want to accept that that that has
Speaker 2: to happen. But then repentance is and I won't do
Speaker 2: it again. And the part of I won't do it
Speaker 2: again sometimes requires accountability. Sure, where there are people that
Speaker 2: you hold yourself accountable to and whether it's you know,
Speaker 2: if you feel like alcohol is a bad thing or
Speaker 2: you feel like that you know something else is, then
Speaker 2: find people who can keep you accountable. I mean drug
Speaker 2: rehab and all of that. It's not that you haven't
Speaker 2: been forgiven, but now you have to let you have
Speaker 2: to get control over those things and said, instead of
Speaker 2: those things having control over you. Doesn't matter what you
Speaker 2: what you're doing, what you are. So as a Christian community,
Speaker 2: I think it's important for us to forgive. But it's
Speaker 2: also chances, second chances. But it's important for people to
Speaker 2: know everybody is still watching your track record and you
Speaker 2: just you have to get control over those things instead
Speaker 2: of them having control over you.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I came across a scripture of Isaiah forty three,
Speaker 3: eighteen nineteen says, forget the former things do not dwell
Speaker 3: in the past. I am doing a new thing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, so people can be redeemed and change. Yeah,
Speaker 3: let's face it. And in business too. You know, it's
Speaker 3: not just in the church communities, and it's across the board.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but this question you're a asking this book,
Speaker 3: you know, can I trust you? Is sort of is subliminal.
Speaker 3: I mean, we were thinking about it all the time.
Speaker 2: And people are asking that question consciously or unconsciously, mostly unconsciously,
Speaker 2: and they you know, but but in their mind, and
Speaker 2: they're looking for the signals, those five signals to let
Speaker 2: them know, you know, I think I trust him?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and repeat those real quick for us again. The five.
Speaker 2: So the first one, yeah, the first one is your
Speaker 2: your body language and and you show up. The second
Speaker 2: one is your intentions and motives. And you know what,
Speaker 2: why do you break that?
Speaker 3: How do you see that? How do you see somebody's intentions?
Speaker 2: Well, it's like that commission breath, and you know what,
Speaker 2: what are their real intentions here? Are they really interested
Speaker 2: in me and helping me and getting what we need
Speaker 2: to do or or is it something else? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Is it a win win or is it a win
Speaker 3: lose win win?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Is it a win win, Yeah, that's a good
Speaker 2: way to look at it. Yeah. The third one is
Speaker 2: about your values, your integrity. You know, do you walk
Speaker 2: your talk? Are you do we share the same core values?
Speaker 2: And do you even have core values? The next one
Speaker 2: is your skill set, your expertise. Show me where you've
Speaker 2: got some kind of certification, some kind of qualification for
Speaker 2: what you tell us you can do. And then the
Speaker 2: last one is your track record, show me receipts, show
Speaker 2: me where you've actually done this repeatedly. And I was
Speaker 2: looking over somebody's LinkedIn profile the other day and I
Speaker 2: was checking to see how often they were jumping jobs. Ah,
Speaker 2: and so if I see, if I look down through
Speaker 2: your LinkedIn and I see that every six months you're
Speaker 2: jumping to a new job, it doesn't look good because
Speaker 2: that tells me that you're not consistent. You your track
Speaker 2: record is all over the place. I need you to
Speaker 2: be somewhere for a while, right.
Speaker 3: I just closed alone for a young lady, and she
Speaker 3: had some good reasons. But she had four jobs in
Speaker 3: the last two years, and we look at a two
Speaker 3: year look back, So the underwriters really want to get
Speaker 3: a good exploitation. You know, why are you jumping jobs?
Speaker 3: You know, for better pay or for a location. There
Speaker 3: are a couple of reasons we close alone, but she
Speaker 3: still had to go through an examination around.
Speaker 2: You have to be willing for people to ask questions.
Speaker 2: And when you won't let people ask questions, that's a problem.
Speaker 2: Trust goes down quickly. Yeahs.
Speaker 3: Matter of fact, I was telling you before the show,
Speaker 3: I had some heart procedure done back in May because
Speaker 3: I was an aphib My heart was an aphib and
Speaker 3: then and I was recommended to this surgeon who specializes
Speaker 3: this this procedure, you know. And I didn't know him,
Speaker 3: but he was highly recommended by my cardiologist. So I was,
Speaker 3: I just said, you know what, what is your experience
Speaker 3: doing this? He said, well, Mark, this clinic, this group
Speaker 3: highly record. You know, Holler recruited me down Daust. I've
Speaker 3: only been here six months, but but I've been doing
Speaker 3: this for twenty years, about fifteen times a week, and
Speaker 3: this is all I do. So I said, you're hired.
Speaker 2: It's working.
Speaker 3: Amen, halleluja. So, uh tell us how we're going to
Speaker 3: wrap this conversation up. Where do you want to leave
Speaker 3: us within a few minutes. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Trust is a big deal. And if you see trust
Speaker 2: lectured in a relationship in a business situation, be proactive
Speaker 2: about finding ways to rebuild trust. And sometimes you can
Speaker 2: ask questions about the some areas where you feel like
Speaker 2: trust may be fractured, but work on it, be proactive
Speaker 2: about it. Of course, I'm going to tell you buy
Speaker 2: my book so that you can see what it's all about.
Speaker 3: Trust You by Scott Carly. Buy the book.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I assume that's right Amazon Kindle. It's on Kendle.
Speaker 3: Now about how about audible it's not an audible yeah,
Speaker 3: I want Scott to read it to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, from my DJ voice. And then the other thing
Speaker 2: you can do. There is a change energizer hot seat
Speaker 2: podcast and if you go do that and you will
Speaker 2: hear professionals every couple of weeks, get the questions, ask
Speaker 2: them about trust and how they answer those. So just
Speaker 2: start doing some discovery to find out the silent questions
Speaker 2: people are asking about whether or not they can trust you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's cool, that's cool. And you talk about thirds
Speaker 3: thinking about what's dragging things down, like ghosting, you know,
Speaker 3: shutting down communication.
Speaker 2: Oh, read those off. Read all five of those off.
Speaker 2: These are the five things really that.
Speaker 3: Drag trust down. Yeah, what you can refer to as ghosting,
Speaker 3: flaking on promises. Let me read the caption part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so well just ghosting. I mean when you're.
Speaker 3: Shutting down communication. Transparency. We talked about transparency.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, if you're if you're not communicating, no news
Speaker 2: is bad news. Yeah, because when people not hearing back
Speaker 2: from you, they don't assume the best, They assume the worst.
Speaker 2: We just built a house, and our superintendent and the
Speaker 2: person who sold us the house. Every Thursday at one thirty,
Speaker 2: we had about a fifteen minute call with them and
Speaker 2: they they just told us detail about what was happening
Speaker 2: that week and what was stalled, what was moving ahead,
Speaker 2: and so we had trying to very that's right. We
Speaker 2: had very high trust through the whole procedures and it
Speaker 2: was great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're happy with the product, Oh.
Speaker 2: Definitely, very happy.
Speaker 3: Good. Flaking on promises keeping your word an example, are
Speaker 3: not keeping your work?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Have you promised to do something? You know, we
Speaker 2: make verbal commitments all the time. Don't make a verbal
Speaker 2: commitment if you don't plan to keep it, you know,
Speaker 2: just don't say it. Flaking on promises is bad.
Speaker 3: Throwing shade. Gossiping, Oh man, humans are big on that,
Speaker 3: aren't they.
Speaker 2: So here's what I'm going to tell you about gossiping.
Speaker 2: People who gossip to you are gossiping about you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great point.
Speaker 2: You better watch out.
Speaker 3: Trust.
Speaker 2: Oh I will not some things I just won't talk about.
Speaker 3: Dodging responsibility, Oh man, come on, just get up.
Speaker 2: Quit dodging it and giving me excuses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just do the work.
Speaker 2: Just do the work.
Speaker 3: And finally, plain favorites giving special treatment to others.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean that that didn't go over well? No,
Speaker 2: try that with parenting. See how it works, right, It
Speaker 2: doesn't go over right? Right?
Speaker 3: Well, we've will only got a few seconds left. Besides
Speaker 3: by the book any other last minute recommendations.
Speaker 2: I just think it's important to look in the mirror, yeah,
Speaker 2: and say am I trustworthy?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And an examination of conscious is what we call it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: In my little world, you know, every day kind of
Speaker 3: look back, what did I do right? Do what could
Speaker 3: have done better?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And hang out with high trust people Yeah, because
Speaker 2: you'll pick up their habits.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Amen. Amen. All right, Well listen, brother, it's been
Speaker 3: great to be with you. We may have to do
Speaker 3: this again to get a little deeper, but we only
Speaker 3: had a few minutes, so I appreciate you coming by.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you very much. Mark. This has been great, all.
Speaker 3: Right, Scott, always a pleasure.
Speaker 1: This has been Mortgage Talk with Mark Hairston. Mark is
Speaker 1: a mortgage advocate with the Texas Mortgage Source LLC, offering
Speaker 1: personalized mortgage solutions, fast customized quotes, great rates and service
Speaker 1: with integrity. Contact Mark at Markhirston dot com. Mark Hairston
Speaker 1: dot com. You can call our text Mark at five
Speaker 1: one two seven eight nine sixty nine sixty seven. That's
Speaker 1: five one two seven eight nine sixty nine sixty seven
Speaker 1: and come back next week for more mortgage talk.