1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: All right, y'all. 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:11,880 Speaker 2: Hey, come on, this is Dark Abuse No More with 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,960 your host doctor evangelist. 4 00:00:14,119 --> 00:00:15,839 Speaker 3: Hey are rich help you. 5 00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:18,879 Speaker 2: To admit what you feel in order genial from the 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:53,880 effects of narcissistic abuse because your fillies do matter. Hi, 7 00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:59,079 y'all doing out there on this Monday, February the ninth 8 00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:01,479 of twenty twenty six. 9 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,239 Speaker 4: I pray that you have had a blessed stress free, 10 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:10,120 narcissistic free, abuse free weeks so far, and that the 11 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,040 remainder of this week will continue to be so as well. 12 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,879 But if not, we're gonna be talking about. 13 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,799 Speaker 3: A few things today again. My name is doctor Ko 14 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,319 Richard Ark Abuse No More. Where we're here to help 15 00:01:21,359 --> 00:01:25,000 you admit what you feel in order to heal from 16 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:30,920 the effects of narcissistic abuse, because your feelings do matter, 17 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:34,519 Yes they do. But before we go on with today's podcast, 18 00:01:34,599 --> 00:01:36,280 I would like to invite you to visit us on 19 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,480 our website at www dot rc n A RC Abuse 20 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,920 No More dot net. That's www dot norc NA r 21 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,079 C Abuse No More dot net. And on our website 22 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,120 you can find valuable information we go on narcissism. We're 23 00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:53,079 actually gonna be updating that website and. 24 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 4: Putting some more things on there to help you on 25 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,439 your road to recovery. 26 00:01:58,599 --> 00:01:59,239 Speaker 3: Just to let you know. 27 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,799 Speaker 4: On every money dy Wednesday Friday, ten am Eastern Standard time, 28 00:02:03,439 --> 00:02:04,680 none am Central. 29 00:02:04,719 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 3: Now what are we talking about today? 30 00:02:06,799 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 4: We are talking about going no contact or low contact 31 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,000 with the narcissists, going no contact with the narcissists, and 32 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,400 sometimes you are in that position where you have to 33 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:23,039 say enough is enough. I'm either gonna go low contact 34 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,240 or no contact because being around this person is like 35 00:02:26,319 --> 00:02:30,639 my kryptonite. Okay, we know that if you think about 36 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,360 the series of Superman, the movies or the series different 37 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,159 series they've had. 38 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 3: Superman was allergic to kryptonite. 39 00:02:38,479 --> 00:02:41,719 Speaker 4: So this green stuff that was from his planet, and 40 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,680 if he got in the presence of kryptonite. 41 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,439 Speaker 3: Then all his powers would just he was not able. 42 00:02:48,439 --> 00:02:52,039 Speaker 4: He would not be able to use them effectively because 43 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:57,919 he was around this kryptonite which was damaging to him. 44 00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:02,439 And so therefore Superman was not able to be around 45 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,879 any kryptonite. He would actually have to which he drew 46 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:09,479 his power from the Sun, and so he will actually 47 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,800 have to go to the Sun in order to be 48 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:18,680 restored because his kryptonite, that kryptonite actually damaged him. And 49 00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:21,680 so it's the same way when you're dealing with narcissists, 50 00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:30,039 they're like your kryptonite, okay, they it could be destabilizing, dehabilitating. 51 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:35,400 They put you in the mindset where you're not able 52 00:03:35,479 --> 00:03:39,120 to be your best. And when someone is taking away 53 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,039 your peace, regardless of who they are, if they're taking 54 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,960 away your peace, then you might have to make some 55 00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:48,840 other changes, some other decisions. So we don't talk about 56 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,879 you know, when if it's time or when or do 57 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,719 you think it's time to go no contact? 58 00:03:54,759 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 3: When should you go no contact? 59 00:03:56,439 --> 00:03:59,759 Speaker 4: If this is you A part of going on time 60 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:03,360 contact with the narcissists is its challenging. 61 00:04:03,439 --> 00:04:04,319 Speaker 3: It's challenging. 62 00:04:04,759 --> 00:04:08,159 Speaker 4: You're trying to escape the abuse, and by cutting off 63 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:13,080 all communication. So when you're going absolutely no contact, that 64 00:04:13,159 --> 00:04:16,600 means you're not taking any phone calls, you're not checking 65 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,040 their social media status, you're actually gonna probably block them 66 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,839 on social media. You avoid in person contact with the 67 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:31,920 individual in order to stop that emotional manipulation, devaluation, the 68 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:38,519 constant verbal abuse, the psychological abuse, whatever type of abuse 69 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,720 you're dealing with. You stop being their sense of supply 70 00:04:43,759 --> 00:04:48,759 and therefore you you unplug yourself from them, and that 71 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:52,160 means you're going totally no contact with this person. Now, 72 00:04:52,399 --> 00:04:57,319 some people have to go low contact because they're not able. 73 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 3: To totally disconnect. 74 00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 4: It might be chill, so you may have made the 75 00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:08,720 step of moving out or filing for divorce or disconnecting 76 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,160 as much as you can from the person. But if 77 00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:14,639 you have children, it's harder to go totally no contact, 78 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:17,879 so you might have to modify to go low contact. 79 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,160 You might be in the family where you know certain 80 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,639 individuals you're okay with, but then others you're not. So 81 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:28,560 you go low or no contact with certain individuals and 82 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,319 a family until it's absolutely necessary to have to be 83 00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:35,560 around them. And even then you have an arm's length 84 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:40,959 because you have to protect your peace. So what to expect. 85 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:46,000 What challenges do you face when you're going no contact. Basically, 86 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:50,240 it's the it's the initial reaction with this and this 87 00:05:50,319 --> 00:05:54,720 is coming from common ego we're talking about for these 88 00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:59,240 challenges that you might be dealing with with going no contact. 89 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:05,000 Narcissists they they believe that you're eventually gonna return to them. 90 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:09,160 They they they they have this hope and they expect 91 00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:11,879 it's not that they're gonna treat you better. It's not 92 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,000 that they're gonna make a change, but their their reaction 93 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:20,079 is is actually to ignore the that you've gone no 94 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,639 contact or have broken off the relationship, believing that you're 95 00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:28,040 gonna come back, that you're gonna return, and so therefore 96 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,240 they sometime we're in disbelief that you've even left the situation, 97 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,040 because if you're the person that normally returns and you don't, 98 00:06:37,519 --> 00:06:41,079 then they're, you know, kind of bewildered as to, uh, well, 99 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:45,160 what's going on that you have finally said I've had enough, 100 00:06:45,319 --> 00:06:49,759 I'm not gonna accept the abuse anymore. Another thing that 101 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,040 you might expect, or some challenges that you might have 102 00:06:53,199 --> 00:06:59,800 is hoovering. They like to manipulate you into getting back 103 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,959 to that relationship. So you might be one of the 104 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,480 ones that, for example, if you were dealing with physical 105 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,160 abuse and that person beats you to a pulpe and 106 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,120 then you decide to leave, and then they come back 107 00:07:10,199 --> 00:07:14,079 sending you flowers or chocolates, or or trying to be 108 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,600 super nice, or or using mutual friends to try to 109 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:24,240 send monkey They send monkeys, but actually actually the flying 110 00:07:24,279 --> 00:07:27,319 monkeys there are the flying monkeys that do, the narciss 111 00:07:27,399 --> 00:07:30,240 is bidding, and so they'll use people that you all 112 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:34,240 are mutually acquainted with in order to even send you 113 00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:39,800 messages and things pretending that they're sorry. And it's a 114 00:07:39,879 --> 00:07:43,519 form of manipulation to try to get you sucked back 115 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,600 in like a hoof for a hoover vacuum. That's what 116 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:49,000 it's called hoovering, to suck you back in so that 117 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:52,560 they can start the abuse all over again. Another thing, 118 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,680 when you're dealing with no one would take spect when 119 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:00,199 you go no contact or low contact narcissistic injury n 120 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,759 narcissistic injury. This means that when you cut them off, 121 00:08:05,079 --> 00:08:08,720 then you're actually injuring their ego, and so they can 122 00:08:08,759 --> 00:08:13,040 become angry or violent or do other things to try 123 00:08:13,079 --> 00:08:18,240 to again get you back into their graces to regain 124 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,000 your attention because you have cut them off. Because at 125 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,560 the end of the day, the narcissists is all about 126 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,800 power and control, and so therefore they don't want to 127 00:08:27,839 --> 00:08:31,079 lose power. They don't want to lose control, and so 128 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,279 therefore they when you cut them off, then in their 129 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,679 mind to their ego, you've given them an injury. 130 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,039 Speaker 3: Another thing is the silent phase. 131 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:48,159 Speaker 4: You might feel grief or guilt because society says that 132 00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:52,960 you are supposed to be in relationship with this individual. 133 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:53,879 Speaker 3: What do I mean by that? 134 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,039 Speaker 4: It could be a family member that you decide to 135 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,480 go no contact with, and so society says that you're 136 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,960 supposed to get along with your family men. 137 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 3: Normally you do. 138 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 4: But the thing is is that when you're dealing with 139 00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:07,799 a toxic individual, a narcissistic individual, an abusive situation that 140 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,360 you're in with this individual, then. 141 00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:13,519 Speaker 3: You have to decide is this healthy for me? 142 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,559 Speaker 4: And even though you may love that person, the thing 143 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,519 is is that in order to have your peace of mind, 144 00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,039 you may have to say, you know what I have 145 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,279 to do what I have to do in order to 146 00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:29,080 maintain my piece. And so therefore you might be in 147 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:34,039 that silent phase where you're saying, I can't be around 148 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,639 this person or the narcissists might be the silent treat 149 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,000 me because you cut them off as well. 150 00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 3: But hey, who cares if as. 151 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,759 Speaker 4: Long as you're having your peace When you go in 152 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:47,440 no contact, that means that when you're and this is 153 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:53,279 quite different from low contact, no contact means that I'm 154 00:09:53,279 --> 00:09:59,600 not giving them any type of response rather positive or negative, 155 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,240 because if you are, then that's giving them still power 156 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,240 over you. So when you're going no contact, that means 157 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,960 that I could cure less what they do. They can 158 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,440 be in the middle of the yard in their birthday 159 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:17,000 suit and you would not care. Okay, So as long 160 00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:19,360 as it's not affecting your peace. 161 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 3: Now, when you go. 162 00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 4: Low contact, that means that I'm a I'm limiting to 163 00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:30,080 my contact with them, for it has to be professional, 164 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:34,120 or it has to be just the bare minimum because 165 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,759 I have to maybe for the sake of the kids, 166 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,960 for example, and so therefore I'm dropping them off. 167 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,159 Speaker 3: Or we have a common. 168 00:10:41,879 --> 00:10:45,039 Speaker 4: Meeting place where we change you know, kids, the kids 169 00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:48,000 and everything, swap swap them out for the weekend or whatever. 170 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:52,759 And my only contact with you is just that particular interaction. 171 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:59,799 So it's very modified, very limited when you're going low contact. Okay, 172 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,000 So we're gonna talk about some more about how to 173 00:11:03,159 --> 00:11:07,120 implement going no contact now, but we're gonna take a 174 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,879 quick break and we'll be back in just a moment. 175 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:14,879 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. 176 00:11:27,759 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 5: Before I knew your name, God already wrote a story. 177 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: Two hearts learning grades. 178 00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 6: Wading on this glory, I wasn't walking. 179 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:50,759 Speaker 7: In the question, You were praying, and Heaven whispered softly. 180 00:11:51,759 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: Soon I join you the heart. 181 00:11:56,399 --> 00:12:06,279 Speaker 8: Every season the reason accurancy, But the moment I found. 182 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,159 Speaker 1: You, it all made. 183 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 9: Says to me, two souls for one perse altogether By's hand, 184 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:21,840 working near his promise, trust the nearest, perfect plan. 185 00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:27,759 Speaker 1: Through the high and heard him. He kept leading me. 186 00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:33,960 Two souls, one purse made for world. 187 00:12:34,159 --> 00:12:35,759 Speaker 10: God called us too. 188 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 8: All the lessons are the way, shape the way we 189 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,120 love today. 190 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 3: And he refines through the footy. 191 00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: Now we love in Christ. 192 00:12:49,799 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 3: Ready, O, you're the answer to a prayer. 193 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:59,919 Speaker 9: Then never knew how to pray, but God knew my 194 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,000 heart's desire, and. 195 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 1: He brought you anywhere. Everything every son said was preparing 196 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:12,559 me for this. 197 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:19,799 Speaker 11: Now sees Spain the Prince never are rexist. 198 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:27,799 Speaker 1: Two souls, one purpose, got together by head dude. 199 00:13:27,919 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 11: Brocking mens bronch, trusting gains paper, playing. 200 00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: The hyes, and the leading me m hm. 201 00:13:46,919 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 5: And before I'm doing name, God already wrote a story. 202 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,559 Two hot learning graves weeding. 203 00:14:07,399 --> 00:14:08,799 Speaker 10: On his glory. 204 00:14:10,639 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 7: I was walking in the choir, you were praying in 205 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:22,159 the dark. In heaven whispered softly. Soon I'll join. 206 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:31,399 Speaker 1: The heart, every stand, every seas and hatteries and occun see. 207 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:37,159 Speaker 10: But the mom and I found you. It all made 208 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,039 sense to me. 209 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: Two souls, one. 210 00:14:41,559 --> 00:14:47,799 Speaker 7: Purse, held together by his head, walking in his promise, 211 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,320 trusting his. 212 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: Perfect plan through the highes and her. 213 00:14:55,600 --> 00:15:03,399 Speaker 10: He kept leading me. Two souls, one perse before work, God, 214 00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:04,720 come us to. 215 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 5: All the lessons, all the way he waited, shape the 216 00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:15,799 way we love today He refine us through the fire. 217 00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: Now we love in Christmas. 218 00:15:21,159 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 9: You're the astute, afraid that I never knew how to praise. 219 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,840 But come you, my host decide and he brought you 220 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:39,360 in anyway. Let me cheer very signs said. 221 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:47,159 Speaker 1: Mis prepareing meets now sees being to prince in never mind. 222 00:15:47,879 --> 00:15:56,559 We two souls, one perse health again, boy's hand can 223 00:15:56,919 --> 00:16:02,919 walking instants in interesting, he sperfect playing war on the 224 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,039 high sa. 225 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 10: Me. 226 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: Two souls, one pers maple. The God calls us to 227 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:22,960 and not perfect dis means indeed come up. 228 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 11: To every call, not strong, and he's a stranger every 229 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:35,600 time we start to fall, so as a loud past boot. 230 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: Then lady child, that's the pervy side. Two songs, one 231 00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:50,480 persons forever. 232 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 5: Standing in its graces every way side trust in a word, 233 00:16:56,519 --> 00:16:59,480 we can get trace the. 234 00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: Hand in hand we rased again shows thank God chose you. 235 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,599 Speaker 3: Two souls, one purpose. All right. 236 00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:37,880 Speaker 4: I don't know why it started over again, but anyway, 237 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,319 that is a beautiful song. 238 00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:41,119 Speaker 1: All right. 239 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 4: All right, So we're talking about going no contact with 240 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:49,160 the narcissist. So how do you implement going no contact 241 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,960 with the narcissist? If that's what you decide to do, 242 00:17:52,559 --> 00:17:53,640 that's gonna work for you. 243 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 3: How do you do that? 244 00:17:55,079 --> 00:17:55,200 Speaker 11: Well? 245 00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 4: Number one, you block everything. You blocked phone, numbers, emails, 246 00:17:58,519 --> 00:18:01,119 all social profiles. You gotta create you a new one. 247 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 3: Then do that. 248 00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 4: You gotta watch who you invite to your page because 249 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,759 y'all got some friends in common or whatever. 250 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 10: Do that. 251 00:18:08,799 --> 00:18:12,119 Speaker 4: You gotta block everything, So you act like you blocking 252 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,920 a bill collector, block their number, block their email. 253 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:17,839 Speaker 5: All right. 254 00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 3: So you're saying saying I am done, okay. Number two, 255 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:27,000 do not respond. That means that any attempts to message you, 256 00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:31,160 letter you, snail mail you, whatever. 257 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,799 Speaker 4: Apologies and all that you don't want to engage because 258 00:18:34,839 --> 00:18:36,640 you don't want to reinforce the behavior. 259 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 3: That means I'm not gonna read the text messages. I'm 260 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,240 gonna block them. Immediately. I'm not gonna read anything on 261 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,680 my social media that they send to me. I'm gonna 262 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,559 block it immediately. 263 00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 4: If someone come and say, oh, well he no, oh 264 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,559 she got no, I don't want to hear nothing. And 265 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,240 if you have to dismiss some people because they don't 266 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,720 want to respect your boundaries, then you have to do 267 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:57,279 that too. 268 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 3: Number three, remove any flying monkeys, and that's what we're 269 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:07,440 talking about. Limit communication with those who are actively spying 270 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,240 on or spying for the narcissists, or who acts like 271 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,160 messages to go back and report things to the narcissists. Okay, 272 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,960 so limit the communication with those who. 273 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,759 Speaker 4: Are gonna keep you still tied in with that narcissist, 274 00:19:22,839 --> 00:19:27,240 and that means those flying monkeys. Number four secure your 275 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:32,799 physical space. That means that sometimes when people leave an 276 00:19:32,799 --> 00:19:36,839 abusive relationship and that person is really. 277 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,839 Speaker 3: That narcissists is not wanting to let go, then you 278 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:43,559 very much. 279 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,079 Speaker 4: That's why we always say leave as safely as possible. 280 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:50,960 Let those who you can trust know, hey, your routine 281 00:19:51,319 --> 00:19:54,160 or are your job, or to check in on you, 282 00:19:54,519 --> 00:19:56,160 or if they haven't heard from you in a while. 283 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,519 Speaker 3: Keep a backup phone just in case something happens. 284 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:06,119 Speaker 4: Watch your surroundings, especially at night, but even in the daytime, 285 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,920 because folks get in bold they do stuff in the 286 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:08,680 daytime too. 287 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,759 Speaker 3: Make sure you have security cameras. 288 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 4: On your property, your door, your apartment, make sure it's 289 00:20:17,599 --> 00:20:21,920 very much sealed where someone can't just kick it down 290 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,720 or whatever. If that includes if you need to put reinforcements. 291 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,920 And this is not being paranoid. If you got people 292 00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:32,200 out here that are killing folks, if some kill you 293 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,519 just because you don't want to be with them, so 294 00:20:35,039 --> 00:20:36,200 protect yourself. 295 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:38,200 Speaker 3: Seek support. 296 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 4: That means that when you're trying to implement no contact, 297 00:20:42,039 --> 00:20:45,119 you might need to talk to a counselor or therapist. 298 00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:49,160 You might need to talk to someone and maybe join 299 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:54,720 a social group to help you maintain those boundaries. Someone 300 00:20:54,920 --> 00:21:00,119 that's gonna help you emotionally, to uplift your spirits. Be 301 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,160 around people who are going to support you. 302 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,079 Speaker 3: All right. 303 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 4: You don't want to get into another abusive situation now. 304 00:21:08,279 --> 00:21:11,759 If you have children and you're forced to interact with 305 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,880 this person, or you're on a workplace, you. 306 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:16,279 Speaker 3: Can do. 307 00:21:17,759 --> 00:21:22,039 Speaker 4: Basically, Gray Rock, And what that means is, I have 308 00:21:22,279 --> 00:21:25,440 this mindset, I'm neither here nor there with that person. 309 00:21:25,759 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna engage. 310 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,400 Speaker 4: I'm just dealing with you only because I have to, 311 00:21:31,079 --> 00:21:33,920 and I'm limiting everything I say, so I'm just gonna 312 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,240 be like a rock. I'm not gonna show any emotion 313 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,039 or anything with regards to this individual. If you all 314 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,839 have a mutual place where you meet to trade the 315 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,799 kids off, then you just do that and get back 316 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:49,119 in your car. Don't if you're saying that I don't 317 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,480 want to deal with them, only if there's an emergency 318 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:52,319 about the kids. 319 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 3: And the thing is, if you're with the. 320 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,440 Speaker 4: Kids and you know your kids are safe, and they 321 00:21:57,599 --> 00:21:59,799 call and they because they'll use the kids to try 322 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,799 to do that as well, So be mindful of that 323 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:03,519 as well. 324 00:22:03,599 --> 00:22:09,079 Speaker 3: And this is where talking to a counselor can help you. Also. 325 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 4: All right, we're gonna take another quick break and we'll 326 00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:13,920 be back in just a moment. 327 00:22:31,279 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 6: I was walking with questions in my chest, trying to 328 00:22:35,839 --> 00:22:40,079 know that I made up mass pray for peace, didn't 329 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,640 know her name, didn't know you were. 330 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:48,599 Speaker 12: Arranging every frame, how I was learning patience the hard way. 331 00:22:49,759 --> 00:22:53,920 Then your press lord, letting me change. Then you use 332 00:22:54,039 --> 00:23:00,319 that to quietly turned my broken hope. Then asserting tea. 333 00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:04,680 I was asking you for clarity. You were beauty for 334 00:23:04,839 --> 00:23:06,640 a character patiently. 335 00:23:08,519 --> 00:23:10,599 Speaker 1: I was wayed and thinking I. 336 00:23:10,799 --> 00:23:14,799 Speaker 8: Was laid, But Heaven was already said. 337 00:23:14,759 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 1: On the day. 338 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,799 Speaker 3: She wasn't run, she wasn't vouched. 339 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,519 Speaker 1: She was writtenly and vouched. I didn't chase. 340 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 3: I didn't please your promise found me. 341 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 1: Found me all mind. After all I tried to choose. 342 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 10: You gave me love. 343 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 3: I did lose. 344 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:44,079 Speaker 13: Dy say, lets just say the dream he surpromised that 345 00:23:44,559 --> 00:23:50,799 time did. Yeah, she loves you more and she loves me. 346 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,839 That's the kind of love that sets me free. When 347 00:23:55,839 --> 00:24:00,359 the stars rise, we don't run. We prayed it to 348 00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:07,319 the battles one. She sees my lost, seize the compremus me. 349 00:24:07,599 --> 00:24:11,559 I'm not dingish that all t every word she speaks 350 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:12,519 his grave. 351 00:24:13,559 --> 00:24:16,319 Speaker 12: I see a friend of trance in her face. 352 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 10: Oh well, it's the thing up, just timing and Chase. 353 00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:22,480 I know it's. 354 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 1: Obedience and trust in your players. I was busy trying 355 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,400 to make your twit. 356 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,440 Speaker 3: You were teaching me he will love his word. 357 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 1: It wasn't read. 358 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,279 Speaker 10: He wasn't for she was ready in your home. 359 00:24:38,319 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 1: I didn't Chase, I didn't pleak your. 360 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 10: Promise found me, found me all mind, found me on. 361 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 1: My daughter all and tried. 362 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 10: You gave me. 363 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 1: And I did lo. 364 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 8: This saying it out. 365 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 1: This ain't a dream. 366 00:24:59,559 --> 00:25:02,160 Speaker 10: It's so I'm standfaum me. 367 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 3: Not just the once old line for someone who helps 368 00:25:08,759 --> 00:25:10,839 me be da man. 369 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,160 Speaker 8: We don't just talk a buff forever? 370 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,519 Speaker 1: Could we pray it to build it walking together? If 371 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:23,640 you never gave me anything else, I still be Riching 372 00:25:23,839 --> 00:25:25,319 me is kind of help. 373 00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:28,559 Speaker 13: Oh, this is love to fade. 374 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 8: It around me because it came straight from. 375 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,200 Speaker 1: Heaven to find me. 376 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,839 Speaker 8: She wasn't rushed, she wasn't forced, she was written the wood. 377 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:44,039 I didn't chase, I didn't please. Your primis fool me, 378 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,920 found me a money. 379 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 10: Us. I try to choose him. 380 00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:13,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, still away, still be understand count. 381 00:26:21,759 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 3: A promise that found me? 382 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:24,759 Speaker 10: All right? 383 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:29,400 Speaker 4: All right, So we're talking about going no contact with 384 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,960 a narcissist, and and the thing is is that many 385 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,519 people will say that once they did that, they had 386 00:26:36,839 --> 00:26:41,119 so much peace, so much peace. You weren't dealing with 387 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:47,680 the constant drama, put downs, negativity, mental abuse, verbal abuse, 388 00:26:47,759 --> 00:26:48,960 physical abuse. 389 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 3: All those things. So when you one of the things, 390 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,960 when you're trying to get that inner piece. 391 00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:57,799 Speaker 4: You have to actively set boundaries, and one of those 392 00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,880 boundaries is when you decide to go low and no 393 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,519 contact with the abuser. 394 00:27:02,039 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 3: Then it helps you for your inner peace. 395 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,119 Speaker 4: And therefore, one of the things that you can do 396 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:15,279 and keeping with that peace is minimally exposing yourself to negativity. 397 00:27:15,839 --> 00:27:20,839 That means that you want to not be around negative people, 398 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:28,920 negative influences, negative words. All right, so prioritize your peace 399 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,799 by first of all, you want to make sure you 400 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,759 have peace with God. Okay, we know that He gives 401 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:43,440 us the peace that surpassive understanding, and no one can 402 00:27:43,559 --> 00:27:47,319 give us peace like the Lord. And I just want 403 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,119 to let you know that you can find peace in God. 404 00:27:51,559 --> 00:27:55,440 Even when you go no contact with the narcissists, you 405 00:27:55,599 --> 00:27:59,119 can find you can find that peace in God and 406 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,759 psalms for this first one. 407 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 3: It lets us know that God is our refuge and 408 00:28:04,519 --> 00:28:09,880 he is our strength. Okay, So you can find refuge 409 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,119 and peace in God. 410 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,279 Speaker 4: Now, one of the things that when you're trying to 411 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,240 find is peace is setting boundaries. 412 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:19,279 Speaker 3: Setting boundaries. 413 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 4: That means that your nobody know as the Bible says, 414 00:28:21,759 --> 00:28:25,559 and your yesbs protect your energy by saying no. 415 00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:28,920 Speaker 3: Learn to say no. Another thing is prayer. 416 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 4: Calm your mind and focus on the future, not the past, 417 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,640 the future, allow yourself to be at peace with God. 418 00:28:40,599 --> 00:28:44,519 Another thing that is so important is let go of control. 419 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:49,839 That means that those things that I cannot control, let 420 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,480 go of it. You cannot control the narcissists. Okay, you 421 00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:57,880 cannot control the narcissists. And I wanna speaking of wish, 422 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:02,920 I wanna read this Serendty prayer if I can find it, 423 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,200 because this is something that when you're going low contact 424 00:29:08,319 --> 00:29:10,880 or no contact, this will help you when it comes 425 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:15,200 to accepting things. It says, God, grant me the serenity 426 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:20,119 to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change 427 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,240 the things I can, and the wisdom to know the 428 00:29:23,359 --> 00:29:28,319 difference living one day at a time, enjoing one moment 429 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:33,279 at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. 430 00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 3: And what this means when you. 431 00:29:35,599 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 4: Break this down, grant me the serenity to accept the 432 00:29:38,799 --> 00:29:41,240 things I cannot change. That means God, give me peace 433 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,559 to know that I can't control every situation. I can't 434 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,920 control the individual. I can't make people change. 435 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 11: You know. 436 00:29:49,279 --> 00:29:52,799 Speaker 3: That's why the next line it says, courage to change 437 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:53,839 the things I can. 438 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,799 Speaker 4: I can only change things about me. I can't change 439 00:29:56,839 --> 00:29:59,920 someone else. So if someone else want to be NARCISSISTICU 440 00:30:00,119 --> 00:30:03,519 use of toxic, then let them do it. But you 441 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,079 can only change what you can do, and that's only 442 00:30:07,319 --> 00:30:08,559 within yourself. 443 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 3: It also goes on to say, and the wisdom to 444 00:30:12,079 --> 00:30:13,079 know the difference. 445 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 4: Okay, so once we have knowledge, we need the wisdom 446 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,839 of God to know how to utilize that knowledge so 447 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,960 that I can know the difference, know the things I 448 00:30:22,079 --> 00:30:24,440 can change, and know the things that I can't change. 449 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,519 Speaker 3: And the wisdom to know the difference. That means knowing that. 450 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:32,359 Speaker 4: Hey, I can't change people, but I can change allow 451 00:30:32,799 --> 00:30:36,319 God to change me. Living one day at a time, 452 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,920 you know, one thing Jesus said is don't be anxious 453 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,559 about tomorrow. Let every day take care of itself. That 454 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:46,640 means living one day at a time. Enjoy one moment 455 00:30:46,759 --> 00:30:48,319 at the time because you don't know if you're going 456 00:30:48,359 --> 00:30:51,119 to be able to have that next moment, So enjoy 457 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,319 one moment at a time. That means have peace as 458 00:30:55,559 --> 00:30:58,720 much as you can get it, and accepting hardship as 459 00:30:58,839 --> 00:31:01,839 the pathway to peace. You know, then lets us know that, hey, 460 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,400 we go through things in life. But guess what, when 461 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,839 we go through things in life, it also helps us 462 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,279 to sit back and analyze and say, Okay, now what 463 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:11,000 do I need to. 464 00:31:11,039 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 3: Do to readjust in order to get the peace that 465 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:16,799 I need. 466 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 4: Another thing is when you're going low contact, no contact, 467 00:31:22,559 --> 00:31:26,079 practice forgiveness and gratitude so that you can have that 468 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,480 peace of mind. You know, forgiveness, As we've often said 469 00:31:29,599 --> 00:31:32,799 on this podcast, forgiveness is not saying that you've given 470 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,519 that person a green card to do whatever they were doing. 471 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,720 What it is saying is that I'm gonna let go 472 00:31:39,079 --> 00:31:44,240 and let God. I can't control you, can't I can't 473 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:48,759 change you. There's nothing I can do to make you 474 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:53,799 be a non toxic individual. Excelf for pray for you, 475 00:31:54,559 --> 00:31:57,079 But I'm gonna forgive you because if I release the 476 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,720 grudges and the resentment, then I can focus on the positive. 477 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,799 And then, you know, one thing God does, he expects 478 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:09,000 us to forgive. It's a it's not a choice. It's 479 00:32:09,039 --> 00:32:11,319 a requirement for those of us who believe in God, 480 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,119 because He forgives us. But it doesn't mean that you 481 00:32:14,279 --> 00:32:17,319 have to allow that person to have access to you. 482 00:32:17,839 --> 00:32:20,839 Forgiveness is for you. It's not just for that individual, 483 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,359 but it's for you. Rather they receive it, rather they 484 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,440 do anything with it. Rather they even think that. 485 00:32:25,519 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 3: They need forgiveness. Okay, that's fine, don't worry about them. 486 00:32:28,799 --> 00:32:30,000 Forgiveness is for you. 487 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 4: That means that I got to make sure that my 488 00:32:33,079 --> 00:32:36,720 relationship with God is right and make sure that I'm 489 00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:39,559 at peace, because if I'm holding on the bitterness and 490 00:32:39,759 --> 00:32:42,440 resentment and all that, I'm not gonna grow. I'm not 491 00:32:42,519 --> 00:32:47,440 gonna heal, I'm not gonna thrive. Forgiveness does not mean 492 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,440 that you put a stamp of endorsement on what the 493 00:32:50,519 --> 00:32:53,119 person did to you. It means that I'm just gonna 494 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:58,920 let go let God because I have more in myself 495 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,279 that God is doing me that I don't have time 496 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,039 to hold on to any baggages. 497 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 3: Last, but not least, self talk positive talk. When you talk, speak. 498 00:33:13,599 --> 00:33:18,079 Speaker 4: Life into yourself, speak life into yourself. 499 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 3: The you know the word of God. Lets us know 500 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,559 that the tongue is powerful. 501 00:33:24,599 --> 00:33:30,559 Speaker 4: Okay, power of you know when you when you speaking 502 00:33:31,079 --> 00:33:35,599 death into yourself, then you're gonna be You expect not 503 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:40,599 to be able to have anything positive but one thing 504 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,960 when Proverbs chapter eighteen verse twenty one, it says death 505 00:33:44,079 --> 00:33:46,400 and life are in the power of the tongue, and 506 00:33:46,599 --> 00:33:48,799 they that love it eat the fruit or up. 507 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,960 Speaker 3: That means that if I'm speaking life to myself, then 508 00:33:52,039 --> 00:33:52,880 I'm gonna thrive. 509 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,279 Speaker 4: If I'm speaking death over myself, well I'm never gonna 510 00:33:56,359 --> 00:33:56,759 mount to this. 511 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 3: I'm never gonna mount to that. I'm not gonna do 512 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,519 I'm too old, too young, too fat, too short. If 513 00:34:03,559 --> 00:34:06,000 you're speaking all these negative things, then that's what you're 514 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:11,559 gonna take on. That's what's going to become you. So 515 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:12,760 as David had to do. 516 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 4: In the words, it lets us know that David had 517 00:34:15,559 --> 00:34:19,280 to speak speak life over himself. He has speak a 518 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:26,400 word to himself. Encourage yourself. He had to encourage himself, 519 00:34:27,159 --> 00:34:30,440 and we have to encourage ourselves. And the thing is 520 00:34:30,599 --> 00:34:34,599 is that when you are dealing with narcissists, they're constantly 521 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:40,519 speaking death, constantly having the death of the emotional of 522 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:41,599 death over you. 523 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 3: You're never doing anything right. 524 00:34:45,119 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 4: You're never good enough, you're not this, you're not that, 525 00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:51,239 you should be this, you should be that, never always 526 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,719 setting the bar higher, but it's something that you will 527 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,639 never be able to meet. 528 00:34:55,599 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 3: So when you go on low contact and no contact. 529 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:02,119 Speaker 4: Just remember you're the one that have to establish your 530 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:06,960 boundaries and you're the one that's in control of having 531 00:35:07,039 --> 00:35:10,079 that peace, and it first begins with God. 532 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,199 Speaker 3: All Right, we're up out of here. I pray to 533 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,920 today's podcast has been a blessing to you and that 534 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:20,559 you would know your feelings do matter. This is doctor 535 00:35:20,679 --> 00:35:25,239 k are Rich would not abuse. No more untail next time.