Speaker 1: Conny, Call round, Dirty Cony did gain.
Speaker 2: Join?
Speaker 3: The quest is uncharted?
Speaker 4: Join the icy Baast. Six writers face off by a
roll of the dice till five Dirty leaving nothing behind
her fingerprits and a tall tail, stealing carts, breaking fats
with plenty.
Speaker 2: Of time to kill and icy.
Speaker 4: Fasts ten Piso always ticing. You know the can't be
tasty fasts. Come and join it, diicy faster. Hey, they're
Arian Devian's junior Invengers and Friends. Welcome back to the
next episode of Authors and Dragons Present The Dicey Bassars
Season two, a D and D video podcast where great
authors play bad D and D. I'm M. K. Gibson,
the dungeon Master and author of such books as Villain's
Rule to Beat the Devil in more. Who do we
have me today? Same o'krube. But let's hear from anyway,
Robert Bevern. Let's start with you, sir. How are you
doing great?
Speaker 2: Hello? Friends? My name is Robert Bevin. I play the
role of Jusser the Suorcerer, the Sucerer with the Mousser.
In real life, I ran the Capern's and Creatures series
of comedy fantasy novels. And short stories, starting with the
first book, Critical Failures, Go Get.
Speaker 4: It Fantastic Robert Bevin Part two. Rick Waltery Sir, how
are you? I'm doing pretty good? Hey everyone. My name
is Rick Walpieri, and.
Speaker 5: I play Moog Face Eater who is currently a screaming
seamen or except minus the screaming parts since I'm underwater
in real life it's Jesse.
Speaker 4: I'm actually eating face, but no, let's go with that.
Speaker 6: Sure.
Speaker 5: In real life, I write the Toma Bill, Bill of
the Dead, Tells of the Crypto Hunter, High Moon, and more.
Go check out my books. If it's by Rick quality,
chances are it's me. And if it's not, then hey, it's.
Speaker 4: Come a long way. Drew Hay sir, how are you?
Speaker 6: I am doing well. I'm Drew Hay, his author book
series such as Superpowers, Villain's Code, Fred the Vampire, Accountant,
NPC's and Rover Powered. And I play Kabert the Expedient,
a centaur who has had an awakening in his send
heart as he tries to save the background characters in
a brief show of empathy.
Speaker 4: On the other side, there's always a lack of empathy,
which brings us to e m Kaplan and her pursuit
to well put every child on the ground. You missed
on the last one, but you know there's always next time. Emily,
how are you doing?
Speaker 6: Hi?
Speaker 3: I'm good. I am Emily. I'm playing Claudia. I write
books under the name E. M. Kaplan, including some mysteries
set in the coastal Carolinas. Now and I'm wondering if
I guess we'll figure out if I correctly set up
my koual attack attack it, but actually the answer is no,
because Gibbey helped me. But hopefully it'll work.
Speaker 4: Hopefully there's something for a left for you to attack though. Last,
but certainly not least, Steve Weatherill, how are you, sir?
Speaker 1: I'm doing fantastic and I will be playing Stan Dandy
Liver again, probably about to die in real life. I
write the Brandon Fimaster series of books. If you want
the next book to happen, the kickstarter to make it
happen is about to end. You are personally responsible for
making this book happen quick quickly now.
Speaker 4: And what was the title of this book? That doesn't matter?
Speaker 1: Go quick back it. It's Brandon Fie Masta beats up Dracula.
Speaker 4: I love it. I saw that role the other day.
That's amazing. That's that's the hook, baby. They randon thigh
Master gets to fight Dracula. Yeah you back it?
Speaker 6: Yeah, stop drilling you hit oil exactly.
Speaker 4: Speaking of backing it, back it all up, people, We
need you to join the A and D family, So
head on over to patreon dot com slash Authors and Dragons.
Give us two bucks a month and join our discord
for five bucks a month. You get to join our
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dot com for our merchandise store. Great T shirts, cool stickers,
all kinds of fun stuff so you can pimp your
A and D swag. Okay, with the shilling out of
the ways, everybody to get into the game. Yes, yes,
remember remember greetings all, this is kanye' stans conscience. How
are you when laws you left for the dicey bastards.
You know what I'm not gonna do with this time.
We've got things to do. Kaberry always wants me to
just shut the fuck up anyway, and we've got things
to be Last time they fought Eric Erdingtree and beat
the piers out of them. Jorcera using us is womping back.
That looks oddly like a giant black penis killed Eric
Greens with a mighty blow to his head. The kid
lost his patron and now he is dead.
Speaker 1: Well, Connie, I'm glad. I wasn't that see it? How
come you know about that?
Speaker 4: Why are you put me on the spot like this? Done?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 4: Why? Why?
Speaker 2: Why are you?
Speaker 4: Why are you doing this?
Speaker 2: He got what was coming to him?
Speaker 4: Oh well done? Why can I hear that? No display
of heroism? Stand down and live? A dove off aboard
searching for the totaliest and a body to try to
save them though they're at least over three or four
hundred feet down deep in the water and you can
barely see them. And he actually inspired Corbert to try
to save lives. This isn't that great, But let's jump
back in to see what's actually happening. And you know
that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna jump right straight
back into where we left off. Okay, top of the order,
which was Moog Moog. You have a you have a
demon that is she put you feel kind of tingly,
you feel kind of great, and yeah, uh, she is
all upon you. Why your biting on her lips? What's
going on? Baby?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 5: Well you know she's getting into it. Moog's gonna get
into it as well. He's gonna wrap his arms around her.
And this demon she has a mouth, but she has
nostrils too, right mm hmm okay, good, So as as
I wrapped my arms around her, essentrally, Mogol then clap
shut to force the air out of her lungs and drown, miserable.
Speaker 4: Demon, Well give me, you know, just for a sake,
give me an attack roll okay eleven? Okay, here's she
doesn't fight it, she doesn't resist it. She leans into it.
You know you're expecting, like most of the people you attack
are like oh no, no, no. She's like no, yes, daddy, please,
She's into it. And she's slowly started to watch her
buck violently like she's allowing the water into her lungs
like way faster than it should.
Speaker 6: She is trying.
Speaker 4: She is asphyxiating in front of you. As you start
to feel like her body starts to like it's the
water around she starts to bubble, and you feel like
the water gets hotter and hotter, as if the rift
between this world and the Nine Hells is slowly thinning.
And I'll leave it at that, all right, Stan, how
you doing.
Speaker 1: Sir, plunging into the abyss on a doomed venture?
Speaker 4: All right? You dive, You dive overboard. You looked around,
you couldn't quite see it.
Speaker 7: Like, give me one more perception, role perception.
Speaker 4: Here we go.
Speaker 1: I should theoretically be good at this, and yet eleven.
Speaker 4: You cannot see grassy no o the rest and they
learn do downd. But within eleven it's not that hard.
There's something off to your side that rockets passed you
as you're here in the water swimming down. But you
see this blueskinned self basically like shoot past you wave
and they're swimming down really fast in the direction towards
where the totally insburry had gone. And then all of
a sudden he's followed by two, three, four more of
the of his companions are shooting past him, rocketing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it cuts to me now to I suppose when
we left the the port was quite heavy with selves.
Speaker 4: I suppose that, and you are less than a day
away from port.
Speaker 1: Yeah, our water bound cruise probably would have its own
lifeguard crew. That makes sense. But I'd like to point
out that in no way diminishes my heroism whatsoever.
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, the dude like he actually kind
of gives you like like like he's not giving you
a shitty thumbs up, like way to go chief, Like no,
like a Jimmy. There is a look of pride and
thanks in the l space clspace as he shoots past
you swim down. Did Droe try to save the rest
of the totally incenter party? Okay?
Speaker 1: But this also the upswing of this is means I
don't have to carry on swimming, So.
Speaker 4: No, you don't. So if you want to try to
swim back to the surface, give me athletics for want
to swim upwards. Sure you can breathe in the water,
but what he swim.
Speaker 1: Well probably not. Well, you know, I didn't massively finger
this out.
Speaker 4: What is it?
Speaker 1: Swim and athletics?
Speaker 4: Just me xroyo?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 4: Cool? Uh you ever seen the kid that kind of
doggy packet in a circle like.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, kind of like like my milky're gonna have
to save you.
Speaker 1: Probably he did not buy these boots for swimming in.
He bought these boots because they have a free inch
lift and they look cool.
Speaker 4: And there's gold fish in the heel like a good
stripper wood. Yeah, Stan kind you kind of swim in
a circle for the moment. Yeah, let's just say that
the the the aquamans went by you so fast that
you're caught in his his his wake, and it kind
of distori indig you. We'll just that's what we'll do
to save face.
Speaker 1: Okay, Claudia, appreciate it.
Speaker 4: Thank you. You're welcome. Clauda, you are in your murder
bear form. What would I like to do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, she forgot to do her battle cry before while
she was turning into her kaliforms. She's goin to do
it now, which is she's gonna yell at the demon
and say, you made me feel a little bit bad
about that kid. I don't mean him dying or anything,
but just like the whole withdrawing your approval, So I
am so she wants to slash it.
Speaker 4: That's the world's longest battle.
Speaker 1: Difficult one to write on a banner under a shield.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, Uh, you swing at the demon,
go for it. Give me attack role on the demon.
Speaker 3: Let's see if it works.
Speaker 4: Sixteen good attack you miss. The demon takes a step
back and says, oh, I'm so sorry, man, there's no
need for this. We're good that little bastard is dead.
I'm quite happy. If you want to turn back, we
can all have a proper conversation. If you don't mind.
I mean, you can fight, but you're going to die horribly.
I'm not I'm not a warlike. I'm a fucking demon.
Speaker 3: There's nothing like deflating of a rage. Just yeah, just
might as well stuff some fries in my mouth.
Speaker 4: It's a long, attracted fart and just back.
Speaker 6: You're like, just.
Speaker 1: We unexpectedly have something in common, and that no one
gives a ship that his child is dead.
Speaker 4: Claudia like, so that was your first attack role. Would
you like to do a second one?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 3: Okay, she'll she'll derage.
Speaker 7: Okay, I like to make that entire conversation.
Speaker 4: Is your bow?
Speaker 3: Do you feel a little better now?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 4: Okay, at least get you got that out of your system. Uh,
you still have movement on a bonus axis or something
you'd like to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Actually she wants to walk over to or go
over to the side of the toward the side of
the boat where Stan went over, just to see if
she can see him. So maybe you.
Speaker 4: Look over and yeah, sure, shit, stand is a kind
of doggy padley in a circle. Like he's about, you know,
eight feet underwater, but like just kind of kind of
going around and around.
Speaker 3: Wow, She'll say, hey, y.
Speaker 7: Everything's under control. Uh, it's super friendly, Bendy.
Speaker 4: Wendy's turn. Move the demon in front of you. She
is giving you those come hither eyes. But you know,
unfortunately she like she starts to like let her her
body is melting away as the portal between the plane's thins,
and she just kind of like this form, this physical
manifestation of the crimeterial plane just kind of melts away
in a protoplasmic ooze as the spirit of the demon
returns back to the hells from whence they came.
Speaker 6: Some more like come with her eyes.
Speaker 4: Having been dismissed by the Master that I summoned her
being the cambient up on them.
Speaker 1: That's kind of what happens to me after sex, to
be honest, exactly.
Speaker 4: But you definitely hear call me before she uh goes away.
The water around you is very warm and very oozy
and like it's a in a deemon way. She just
kind of like, you know, she just kind of just
all over you in her own kind of way, swimming
in Georser basically, Yeah, so he's always all right, so
in that state, but move give me, give me a
quick favor and give me a perception check. Sure six
nothing no, nothing to worry. You don't see anything.
Speaker 6: You're cool.
Speaker 4: Uh that was Bendy Wendy's turn. Jorcepher, you're sir. What
would you like to do?
Speaker 2: I recently lost some fluids. I need to rehydrate. I
will like to chug a potion of healing go for
it looks like I have one? Okay down the hatch.
How much does that give me?
Speaker 4: I don't remember which potion I gave you? You write it down?
Speaker 1: Did we have like freem ages and some minus?
Speaker 2: Says potion of healing?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: Probably probably a D six plus four or something to
that effect. I don't know which. I there's some bigger ones.
I know Coubert had a larger one.
Speaker 3: I had a bigger one too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just remember what all was passed out to whom.
Speaker 2: All right, I'll do a D six plus four six
plus four, you know. All right, that's eight points back
went back to you. So, ah, feeling good?
Speaker 4: All right, so you're feeling pretty good. You did that.
You still have a movement of bonus action? Anything you
like to do? Why are you standing over by the railing?
Looks like she's talking over at somebody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess I'll go over there and take a look.
Speaker 4: All right, you go inside of the railing and stands
eight feet underwater, swimming in a circle.
Speaker 2: All right, is my dildo still glowing?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, for the moment it is. I mean it's
not as bright as it was, but it's it's got
a faint pulsation pulsing going on, so a little more
turgid than it was before.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, well I'll stare at that for a
little bit too.
Speaker 4: Okay, next up is compare sir, how are you would
like to do?
Speaker 6: I will direct my sea monkey to continue saving people,
I guess as I trot over to the side and
uh kind of see the lay of the land a
little better.
Speaker 4: Now, which are you going to? Uh?
Speaker 6: Well, my guy dropped over here, so I'll go over here.
Speaker 4: Okay, uh, you go over there, and I want you
to give me a perception rule, please. It's one of
my few good twenty two fantastic, all right.
Speaker 6: Cool.
Speaker 4: So you're looking over there, and they were your amazing eyes.
Oddly enough, like weird enough, you see better in this
in the city than you do in nature. But yet
for whatever reads, maybe this is the good day. The
way the water hits you see, we're yeah, you see
a lot of seals shooting through the water, rocking down,
uh under the ship to and they're going after what
appears to be Matt Demon and Page Turner. Move is
to the northeast there, and he's kind of like swimming
in like this like kind of viscera kind of like stuff.
But he's got a weird look on his face and
he's he's I guess he's swimming back to the surface.
I assume Move he wants to swim, that doesn't want
to drown.
Speaker 1: Why is he trying to swim with his crutch?
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly, he's had a weird rudder that's steering him
in the wrong directions. So you're you're your monkey's down
there trying to save lives but looks like like the
very fast seals are on pace, also trying to save lives.
Speaker 6: I will, I guess, uh let the bunky help them
save lives. That's why he was summoned. Okay, not a shipload,
I can do it on the deck. Okay, that kid's
not needs more than a good berry.
Speaker 2: It doesn't both.
Speaker 1: He needs a benediction he is, so he pumped into
his mouth, but it just rolls out of his skull.
Speaker 6: I do love the image of Kabert, just like try
to jam a good berry into the open wound on
his neck? Where's that used to be?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 4: You know, for the sake of it? For you, Like
you're down there, you'll see that. While you're watching, you'll
see your monkey John there trying to stop people. But
then then the sea alves will swim up and like
smash their chains and uh give like start slipping potions
to the total incidentive party. So it's like your monkey's
helping to like keep them from driving further, and the
elves are like giving them like abilities to like not die.
So you're watching this thing all work in tandem. Moog
missed all of this because you had a bad perception.
Speaker 6: Role.
Speaker 4: So he's just kind of like swing around and like
very curious what the hell just happened to him?
Speaker 6: So well, we'll say I continue directing my monkey to
be as efficient as possible in his salvation efforts.
Speaker 1: That's an efficient monkey.
Speaker 4: Normally this be Eric's turn, but Eric's not there, so
we'll take vogel Lark to the cambyan demon will use
his slides like everybody, please come around. You wanted to
gather up your friends. We'll have a little chat too,
won't we?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: This is uh and so he's he's just gonna sit
here and wait on the on the deck. He'll sit
down and cross his legs. His big giant bat wings
will wrap around him like a cloak, and he'll like
wave his hand like a little campfire rope. Here crackling
and nice on the deck and like, you know, some
hot cocoa and some uh come. That's how that's all
have a chat?
Speaker 2: What do you say?
Speaker 4: Uh? So if you want to if you can hop
out of turn order mooved, you wanna swim upwards or
you just stay where you're at.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna swim. I mean, there's no reason for me
to just drown.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, give me one more perception.
Speaker 5: As far as I'm aware, there's still there's still an
elf child that needs to die.
Speaker 4: That is true, that's true. Okay, you come up onto
the deck, but yeah, I might. It's not hard for
you to swim over. Give me, give me to me fair,
just me. Give me one good athletics roll, just to
make sure you could swim up, climb up the side
with the ladder and come over the railing. I can
give be a band athletics roll. You are uh, it's
hard to swim with an erection. You've you've discovered this.
You are still a way when he's on the mind, baby,
and the heart wants and what the heart wants. So
you cannot climb up at the moment, stand same thing?
Are you gonna try? Like, there's you look up, you
see your friends looking down at you. There's Georsier and
Claudia looking at you from over the railing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there is a way to climb up. It's like
ever the situation's in hand. I've done what I can.
I've lent moral support, which is the best kind of support.
M So it does a way to climb up to
the boat and not be left stranded in the ocean.
I would like to do that.
Speaker 4: I think it's gonna come down to a good athletics
rule for you or friends with a rope. Let's see
what happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm not relying on the friends of a rope.
Speaker 4: I'm not relying on the athletics rule. Yet here we are.
Ye give me one. Hell even you know, not bad,
it's above average, So that's not you swim up, swim over,
and slowly but surely you come up over the rope
on a little that little kind of classic ce rope
ladder up over the edge, and your friends help you
up or over the aeriling. I'm assuming you guys don't
push him back in the water as a joke.
Speaker 6: Gorcier Claudia, greg my weapon, Now do it again, motherfucker.
Speaker 4: Gorcer will like lower his glowing dick bat.
Speaker 1: Oh that's not your hand, thank you, it's warm.
Speaker 3: I'll be like, damn, I need to go to yoga class.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just want to thank you guys for a laughing
at me when I was about to be killed by
that child and be just letting me jump into the
ocean by myself.
Speaker 4: Thanks guys, Claudia and gorcer. You guys are right there.
It's your term respectively. It's like, because we're coming out
of turn order, so it's anything you like to do
with this.
Speaker 2: Moments, I'll just go to the other side and check
things out over there. Fucking help people will.
Speaker 4: Okay, See look standing Stangel. Look he's helping people. Look
at that chick in hand and helping people. Look inspire them.
Speaker 2: I've inspired.
Speaker 1: I don't know how. It sounds like it licks like
he's just about to throw a dale though at someone.
Speaker 4: Again, we'll squinch a little bit. It looks like he's
trying to help. Oh well, maybe it's a helpful. Then
maybe it'll float.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Clauda, you see stand talking to himself.
Speaker 3: She's actually gonna go toward the demon. She's curious about
this guy. Plus he's she knows he's short, you know,
one person front his patronage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, so you go over towards the demon.
He again, he's just sitting there just like duo.
Speaker 6: Dude.
Speaker 4: He's like he's got basically got he's making smores for
lack of better than they're like, dude. Yeah, he'll wave
and like the ring of fire will go out like
you know, so all right, that would be Cober. Now
what do want to do, sir? Just finished up cover?
Speaker 6: Yeah, if if everyone is finished being saved, and I'll
let my monkey go. Otherwise I kind of feel like
I have to see this through.
Speaker 4: Because of your perception. You will see that all the
sea elves and your sea monkey and all the sea
people put a humpty dumpy back together like they have
rescue the totalists in a party. But they are not
bringing him back on board. They are taking them.
Speaker 6: That's why. That's very worse.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so the tip is going away the sea. The
sea elves are going in a different direction, taking them
away from this ship.
Speaker 6: The sea elves have acted effectively.
Speaker 4: Yes, no more tip, no more tip, no more tip.
Speaker 6: Horrible accidents. It will never be the same. The tip
is just gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: One of the sea elves goes by Moog and gives
him the finger as it swims away, carrying one of
the totally answer party.
Speaker 5: Reasonable, but since I got a sixth perception, I don't
see it.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 4: The thing is like, that's like this one came kind
of close to you. Move because you know, you did
some bad things to some sels, and like you try
to kill a few incent one of the would go
about to see to kind of get away from you. You
made some enemies in the past, but.
Speaker 6: I honestly have forgotten about this. I have tried to
kill so many fucking l.
Speaker 4: I have not you try to frame other ones in
the day. But Moog, as this thing swims by you
and you've seen selves in the past, the Blues like it.
But for whatever reason, this it wasn't a sea elf.
This was a sea orc, a sork if you will,
and his blue ashume is actually more greenish than thers
like it's if you've never I don't know if you've
ever seen a sea york before, but you have now.
For whatever reason, he gave you the finger.
Speaker 5: Well, Moog will give it a cheer because well, you know,
giving the finger is a normal, normal Orchish greeting.
Speaker 4: Then yes, this this sork went by and gave you
the middle finger.
Speaker 6: And as far as like, uh huh, hey goud, I
have to ask, do we think that's actually an orc
greeting or did people hate Moog even when he was
in the work.
Speaker 1: It's lovely to be a canon of is true?
Speaker 4: Uh? You know what, I'll let move just side. Okay,
move with that thing you have. You now you have
an advantage of an athletics roll because of that inspiration.
So try to climb up over this. Come on board,
Moog nineteen that with a little pep in your step,
you vault over. You saw something amazing today, so boom
you're over there. What do I see in the deck?
On the deck you see funny enough, stand and Liver
is no longer a half elf. Stand andy, Liver is
now a half orc, a human orc hybrid.
Speaker 5: Oh enjoy, Moog will flip him.
Speaker 4: Off, stand moves him in the finger.
Speaker 1: Oh hello, Moog.
Speaker 5: Now we're where elf child Moog must kill the finish killing.
Speaker 4: Uh you look around and there is a body of
a child lord what appears to be an orc child
on the ground, and his head his brains are splattered
across the deck.
Speaker 5: Moog will go over there in horror, look down upon
dead orc child.
Speaker 4: It scream, Oh done this.
Speaker 1: Hey man, I just got here.
Speaker 4: You're welcome, like.
Speaker 6: Imundine like slipping up behind him to do it too.
Speaker 1: To be honest, mook, I thought it was you. I'll mean,
that was my first thought. I say, A dad out child,
I assume you're involved.
Speaker 4: Word off child.
Speaker 1: Oh it's mo missed that the one with the mushy
head move misses all good, good things. But more importantly,
why he's dead orc child here?
Speaker 4: Oh, don't worry about that.
Speaker 5: We'll gole point a finger at joyst for did you
do dish?
Speaker 2: I already fessed up.
Speaker 4: That's what we were doing. Don't worry about it. Mooga,
that is him. I have I have a spell on
him to make it look like an orc. Don't worry
about it. It's an illusion spell. Oh the demon says that. Yeah,
the demon says it does move. Believe the demon. I
don't know. Give me an insight. Roll, I'll get here,
I'll do a perception. I'll do a persuasion. You do
an insight? All right? Fifteen insight? Fifteen insight? What's this persuasion?
Speaker 2: Roll?
Speaker 4: Sixteen?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 4: I just beat you so firs your concern. He's just like,
he's like, no, don't worry about it. I thought it to
be funny to like, you know, like you just see
a dead orc makes me laugh. I'm a demon, hah
vugal ark ain't dumb. So he's like, no, no, don't worry.
Why don't you all gather around here for a little bit.
I just want to thank you for freeing me from
that that elf child's horrible thinking. You see, he summoned
me a long time ago, and I'm unfortunately he learned
my name and bound me and maybe his bey's patron
So I made a deal with him. As long as
he brings me a certain number of souls, he can
continue my patronage. But fortunately he stopped him. Congratulations, you
are now heroes. I don't get my souls, and I
get to go back to the hells where I want
to belong. So on this day, you have made a
demon very happy, so I'll give I would like to
give each one of you a gift. Ask something of
me that is within my power, and I will gladly
return it for you.
Speaker 3: Can I have a new hat?
Speaker 4: Yes, yes you may. What kind of hat? Would you like?
To hear?
Speaker 3: Something bear like? And if he asks magic, that's cool.
Speaker 4: You know he pulls out like a quill and a
parchment and he starts writing it down. Okay, okay, demonic
bear hats. Okay, I can work on that's something potentially
with magic, all right, all right, I can work on that.
Any other requests what we have next? I see basically
you have an evil stand in front of you.
Speaker 5: Moog will show him his upside down hand. Okay, like
Moove finds it very very difficult to strangle, to strangle
innocent well or not innocent elves with with hand upside down?
Speaker 4: Can you fix hand? He writes it down. Yes he can,
so he starts writing down make hands work properly for Moog.
Who's up next?
Speaker 6: I would not say no to some horseshoes that would
allow me to run faster and over various terrains and substances.
Speaker 4: Oh I like that? Well, okay, a nightmare like horseshoes
for speed, gribbling around. I like the flare of this one.
Speaker 5: Ha ha, Who's next?
Speaker 4: Sorry?
Speaker 1: I was looking out of derail. Are we Are we
making deals with a huge evil demon?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Well no, no, no, no, no not at all. I'm
actually just you did me a favor. You killed Eeric Greentree,
you freed me. I can go back to hell, but
I kind of bound because I am like what people
call a lawful demon, so I have to be according
to the laws. I have to pay you back in kind.
So you did me a service, and I will gladly
reach into my repertoire and the supply you with a
magical item or a gift or a boon or something
that will help you out. So so far, I have
a magic hat, preferably something with magic on it.
Speaker 2: Move.
Speaker 4: Would like hands that are that match for a better strangulation.
Co bear once horseshoes that can make him run hellishly fast?
And uh stan are you next? What would you like?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I'm not supposed to make deals with
demons and always back, but.
Speaker 4: Paying that you did me, you did me a service.
I'm doing it. I'm squaring our debts you it can
make me a little less feeble, could you? Oh in
what way you've already have? Fork?
Speaker 1: You'll do already less feeble. Ignore my babbling friend. He's
babbling again. Uh well, the old, the old, Uh, the
old muscles on what they used to be. I'm still
a spry old fucker, but uh just tried to swim there.
Didn't really work out for me.
Speaker 4: Very well. Let me ask you would you like to be?
Would you like to be stronger, younger, or more potent? Potent?
Does sound good?
Speaker 1: But I've been young and uh had my time. Now
I'm not looking for extra years. Here's a bit of
extra oomph. So yes, stronger.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, uh, he writes it down, staying with like
more strength gatnets and for you, mister.
Speaker 2: Joser, I think I could uh I should wear protection?
Speaker 4: Well, I also curious would you like to keep that?
Would you like to keep a hell fire tildo bats?
And I could make it to permanent?
Speaker 2: Oh is it not permanent? No?
Speaker 4: No, he just kind of gave you the umfuto to
like kill the kid, so sucks because the glow is fading.
So you could keep it built about it yours. But
if you would like it to always be backed by
hell fire, we can make you baby. Could give him
the power to imbuse sex poise.
Speaker 6: Until there are fractory periods of motherfucker on that thing.
Speaker 2: That's uh just tempting, But I really I do need
to bump up my act. I would like a cloak
or protection.
Speaker 4: No, I have something better for that everything. Would would
you like more armor or would you like more hit
points or more vitality? More health?
Speaker 2: Think I need more armor?
Speaker 6: Okay, hmm hm hmmm, seeing as you built Georcier with
no armor, you'd.
Speaker 4: Like he writes, you would like something he would like
some defense essentially, is what you're looking for, Like something
that could just protects you because I don't know if
you're going to get away with let me see what
I have in my demonic repets when that character is
all off right, let me like, so he's writing all
this stuff down, it's.
Speaker 2: Like up, Okay, I didn't think this was a big ask.
Permanent and chances of dildo no problem.
Speaker 4: Oh no no. But it's like most was just like
out of game, like most spellcasters can't wear certain armors
for a reason, you know. So like and I'm trying
to find something that works within the flavor of what
George would like. And to be fair, is it double edged? Delda?
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I was saying, A cloak of protection.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a lame, you know, cloak protection, Shman, you
know I got that. There's got something cool because I'm
not gonna give it to you on this one. On
the next time we play, you'll have your gifts. It's
like he's protection exactly. It's like I'm going to return
to the Hell's willingly and so I can come back
as necessary, but I will I will come back one
more time to deliver your gifts by the end of
your by the end of your sea voyage. Certainly thereafter
I will have each of you a new gift to
as recompense as payment for freeing me from Eric Greentree,
that miserable little shit. He was a miserable little ship.
That's true. He stands up all like you know, at
fifteen feet of him, and he's like and he picks
up the kid's body starts to shake. He's like, oh,
there's he's loot on him. Is anybody what what's on
this kid?
Speaker 6: Or?
Speaker 4: Can I just take his body back to hell?
Speaker 1: Is he a baseball cuts a picture of his whatever?
Speaker 4: A rifle? Eric's pockets? Absolutely mean you were not gonna
note yeah, did I figured you might?
Speaker 6: There is.
Speaker 4: And see what fulls out? The kid has about uh
six hundred and sixty six gold on him. Wow metal
wampomp yeap that I'm done on purpose, A short sword
plus one, a studded leather armor plus one, and an
ambulet of health for those who do not know that one.
That is an attune item of So as long as
you wear you are attuned to it. Your constitution is
always at a nineteen So you get extra hit points.
That's what the reason you're beating on the child. He
was surviving all the time. It's because he had a
he had he had a con of nineteen and a
lot of extra hit points.
Speaker 1: Well, I could use the studied lever or the ambulate
to be fair, because my constitution is zero and yeah,
another on my ac wouldn't go a miss.
Speaker 2: The only thing of that I could use is the ambulet.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think Georsier should probably get the ambulant. He
is delicate.
Speaker 4: I have knocked him unconscious, like if by sneezing on
him at least five times.
Speaker 1: Do we really want to give Jocera a more staying power?
Speaker 6: I mean, he just killed a child that I feel
like that earned something.
Speaker 4: That's true.
Speaker 6: Positive positive actions deserve positive reinforcement.
Speaker 1: It's just like the end of the Wizard of Us.
All right, Jocera, you can have the amulet as long
as you promise to put it around your neck.
Speaker 2: All right, all right?
Speaker 4: So yeah, if you go into like you know, the
manager inventory type of the search Amulet of Health and
attuned to it, you will have a nineteen constitution. You'll
watch your hip points jump up.
Speaker 1: A stud of lever plus one would give me an
ac without affecting any of my rogue.
Speaker 4: Air quotes abilities. Yeah. Yes, it's like probably the one
of the highest things.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's pretty much perfect for me. So if nobody
else wants that, I would like to.
Speaker 4: Maybe what's a short sword? It'll be a Finesse Weapons
shortsword plus one.
Speaker 6: I'm not sure if I can use that.
Speaker 4: I already got a rep A plus one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I already have. I have my thing.
Speaker 6: Nope, I can't use swords.
Speaker 4: Okay, Claudia, you're feeling sorty.
Speaker 3: I guess I'm more of a daggery type person, but
I'll take it.
Speaker 1: Well, it's kind of like a dagger, but bigger, Okay.
Speaker 6: More killing powers never bad.
Speaker 4: Well, I'll it this way. If Claudia uses that short sword,
we'll say, because you know, it's like being gifted by
a demon into a to a degree, will bump up
when she since it's longer and bigger. When she switches
to her murder bear form, will bump up her damage
by an extra point, basically like it'll be the short
sort will be incorporated into our murder bear form. Nice. Nice, Well,
if that's everything, then then I wish you were all
ado again. My name is Vogol lark By. All means
something me if you need help for something. But if
you buy me to this plane, I'll take your soul
with me. Much I'm doing with this child. His body
is dead, but his soul is now mine. I'm going
to drink his essence for the next at least century,
and I'm going to find it delightful. Do you have
any questions for before I go back to Hell?
Speaker 1: Well, no, I'd just like to thank you for being
so upfront. Normally, damons means I.
Speaker 4: Mean that's there are certain demons like we, like someone
are more chaotic and what I consider myself very very
I I'm a law abiding demon. If you ever find
yourself in the hot hells, look me up. I can
help you out, provide it would make a deal, of course,
there's any deals like to make now before I go?
I am I am unfortunately obliged to ask.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not, but wonderful to meet you.
Speaker 4: Wait, yes, in the back, Yes, I forgot the beautiful
elf in the back.
Speaker 5: Yes, well, just like Narrow's eyes. So like if move
made deal to kill all elves in world, that might
be worth something.
Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about. The move. All
the elves are gone.
Speaker 2: They are.
Speaker 4: You'll find out anybody else going once, going twice, And
the rice snapped his fingers in vogal arc retreats leaves
this plane of being melting away, the veil between the
primeterial plane in the hells thins. There's a backwash of
hot air and sulfur as sea aaron farts washes over you.
Speaker 6: Okay, I very purposely waited until he was gone to
roll this intelligence check. Yes, Uh, with a fourteen, I'm
gonna have Cobert making off hand remark, give it, you
tell me if it's overreaching. Yep, Bah and the Devils
were the ones that had to follow the laws.
Speaker 4: By all means. As you guys are standing up on
up on you up on the deck. By the way,
no one's steering the ship at the moment.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 4: The ship's starting to waggle. See ape, you have used
up all your things. Now there's a sputtery coughing sound
as one of the things get pushed up. And like
Captain Randol von Munchbrugger, who no one bothered to save,
who was saved by one of the sea elves, because
like here's sons of sea dogs, sons a betches and
comes running up, say Julie, what did I don't know?
Speaker 6: Sir?
Speaker 4: Using his giant arms, he runs across the station and
clamps down on the end of the steering wheel and
writes the ship. He's glaring at you, but he knows
you did the best you could and that you guys
are probably at least thirty percent asshole excellent.
Speaker 1: My rescue operation planned out flawlessly.
Speaker 6: Best is a strong bit of credit to give us.
Speaker 5: Elf child did innocent party drowned this good day?
Speaker 4: Hey Moog, At what point are you going to notice
at your hands? Because you talked about earlier, they are
no longer of elf hands, my guess right now are.
Speaker 6: No time like present Now the.
Speaker 4: Prosthetic hand is still a fake hand and some sad down.
But the hand that's the real hand where once was
that stupid, slender, skinny, spinly shitty hairless elf fingertips is
mel met with a greenish brown gnarl bone knuckled walnut
size meaty orchant Yeah, Goog will flex it just to
make sure he's seeing correctly. You you see what you see?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 4: The rest of you all look at move he is
just like flexing this little skinny bitch handle like.
Speaker 5: All right, well, Moog, in a bit of joy, will
grab stand by the lapels, drag him closer.
Speaker 4: And like quick, what does mug look like? Is moog? Beautiful? Elf?
Speaker 2: Again?
Speaker 4: I'm sorry his move beautiful? All right, Moog alcuse we
stand take this what it is. But Moog is asking
do I look like an orc again? Much?
Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but
there there are most subtle ways to come on to him, man.
Speaker 4: Moog already finished with that part in water.
Speaker 6: It's also less subtle, Georgier literally coming on to him.
Speaker 4: Man, Yeah, I mean look at Joster for example. Uh
did you hit your head down that friend? No, it
was just water.
Speaker 5: But Moove comes out and now Muga's work again, even better?
You stupid old no longer half elf, are now stupid.
Speaker 4: Old half orc?
Speaker 1: Okay, well full also insane. Maybe you should have a
little sit down. It's been a long day, Yes, it
has been a good day, dead elf child. Muga's work
ork again.
Speaker 4: You are Orc?
Speaker 5: Well not again, but you are Orc. You and Moog
we will sit down and we will drink hyena piss together.
Speaker 1: Well, tell you what if I could have a nice
shinzano instead, then chill as long as you're happy man.
Speaker 4: Both of you still have magic magic grand whimsy cups
on your hips and can have whatever you want to drink.
All right?
Speaker 6: It is again? Is this an orc thing or is
this a mood thing?
Speaker 1: Just saying they're baffled by this fermented Hyaena piss Nice's
on our place?
Speaker 4: The mug winks at you. I guess you have a
nice on over. Then there's a there's a hint of
yuri on the back end because I had to switch
drinks mid mid make so.
Speaker 1: But like whatever hits the back of your fright?
Speaker 4: Am I right?
Speaker 3: Clodia, no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 4: I think Moove's gone insane.
Speaker 3: You know, he seems happier. So I'm gonna just you know,
she's half elf too, I think.
Speaker 4: Are you You're half work now ship my bad, sorry
about you, your half elf mood. You look over past
the dirt in the grime, move suddenly find you.
Speaker 5: Equally as terrifying as you are, but now suddenly far
more attractive.
Speaker 3: Oh god, we gotta kill.
Speaker 2: Him that.
Speaker 1: Right now, He's just being a harmless old letch, which
is much better than his usual rage filled murder machine.
And you know what, I could use a couple of
days off. He's probably concussed. He'll probably come around. Let
him drink his hyena piss and frankfully, let me drink
my well, you know, less offensive hyena piss.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 4: So, basically, for the remainder of this voyage, it is
now whatever you guys want to do. You have stopped
the demon death poor dead Bethany Deathany has been avenged.
The ship is righted, the toys party is no longer
on this ship. You have been given everything the captain
promised you earlier that I don't remember what it was,
and I'll figure it out on the next adventure. But
of course, all of it's like in like you know,
store credit, you know, so you can go back to
the the you know whatever money is. But it's like
through the ships gift shops. So you guys will definitely
leave a lot of mugs, a lot of like, you know,
t shirts, a lot of like you know, grand whimsy
key chains. If anybody needs me, I'm going to be
knee deep. I need have a holes or buffet. This
will be the fun part. At the end of the event,
at the end of the week, because this is still
day one. It's a ten day trip. So every time you, guys,
you have a special thing where you can go in
and out of rooms and talk to each other, blah
blah blah. But every time you go into one of
those special adventure rooms, it changes your stats at the
end of the at the end of the trip, you
can go back to normal, or you can alter your
stats permanently. But every time something you go, something goes up,
something goes down, So you can be real powerful, but
real dumb in other ways. Is there anything you would
like to do, m.
Speaker 6: Let me think on that for a little bit.
Speaker 4: Yes, Well, in Mook's case, I'm pretty sure eventually he will.
He will notice that there's a lot more orcs on
this cruise. Uh yes, uh there. All the elves on
this cruise are now gone. You have not seen a
single one, and there the orc population has risen about
thousand fold.
Speaker 5: Well, Moog will spend his time, you know, probably harassing them,
you know, getting drunk, singing orkish like you know, murder songs,
you know, trying to get them to join in, trying
to be the life of the party. You guys have
never seen Moog in such a good mood.
Speaker 4: Most of the people will just kind of assume you're
just a drunk and idiot and give you space. Sometimes,
you know, people are like, we'll talk back to you,
and some of the orcs will talk back to you
and elvish some of the Uh, it's it's it's also
it's definitely off putting. It's it's weird.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 4: One or two might play along, but only because they
happen to speak Orkish. But as far as they're concerner,
you are the town drunk on this ship. You are
that person who got drunk real early and hasn't stopped
for the entire boos c.
Speaker 5: Moog is in such a good mood. Mog is gonna
be like high on hyena piss. He's just gonna be
absolutely reeking of it, you.
Speaker 4: Know, like hyena hyena. Yeurin is alcoholic for works that
has to be cannon now, right.
Speaker 6: Of course, I mean it's alcoholic for Moog.
Speaker 3: I think, hey, Comber, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Speaker 6: Water park?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So what time you got left? Is there anything
you guys would like to do on the ship, because
did we still a little bit of time left, or
unless Drew's gotta run, I do have to dip out. Okay,
So well the rest of you all can say if
you like, because we still have approximately like you know,
this is a good era, good good gaming. But we
have about fifty minutes left in the real game we
start a little bit later, So Drew's gotta dip but
that everybody else wants to play along. Du we have
about time for like one of the activity rooms. They
want to do something, or we're can just roll play
the rest of the time out whatever you feel free,
But everybody, after this, this is the end of the
next leg. And on the way here you will end
up in the and the you will reach your destiny.
Speaker 6: You know what.
Speaker 4: I will give extra something to somebody. But can anybody
be the player? Tell me where you're sailing to? Can
you name the name that anyone tell me the primary
mission like that you're on?
Speaker 6: Not no, not for all the tea and.
Speaker 5: Where we can name of a place where I'm just
following Stan.
Speaker 6: I'm just happy to be here.
Speaker 3: Yes, we left Mia Pharaoh and fair Meal, and I
thought we were going to Scranton, but I think we took.
Speaker 4: A no, that's half stract them. But you know what, Claudia,
God damn it you. I will make sure your gift
is extra good from the deep well done.
Speaker 1: Compass of remembering where we're going.
Speaker 4: In my own language, Claudia figures she has a magic
mirror that can look back and pass and time.
Speaker 3: She don't have it anymore. I think Stan has it.
Speaker 4: You know what what happened to you?
Speaker 6: Just left it at a restaurant.
Speaker 4: I borrowed it, gave it back, use it the one time,
and like you looked at it. What was that sound?
You had a chance to look at like the actual
history of the witches. But you looked at something else
and found like, oh what tortles? Yeah, but there's you
looked at. You were looking at the big DICKX or something.
You were looking at something. It was a total Yes,
turtal nuts, that's what it was. You were looking at
the creation of the turtles.
Speaker 3: Coming soon to the Authors and Dragons shop. Try turtle
nuts for breakfast in your cereal bowls.
Speaker 4: But everybody is going to go up to like we've
reached the next milestone. On the next adventure. You will
be in that you will be the land of stractum
and you'll be level six. Congratulations on your level.
Speaker 6: Of right, all right, I will catch you all later.
Speaker 4: All right. So for the remaining folks with about the
ten minutes or so that we have left, is like
you just want to roll play out certain things, or
you actually want to do an adventure doing a little
like what's the chat? Want to do? Where they where
are they at? I don't know.
Speaker 5: I'm thinking droops Munkin's drunkin state. He's going back to
like the the sex, the orgy and getting him some orc.
Speaker 6: Oh, that'd be great.
Speaker 4: The problem is, like I see, I see a lot
of hate crimes happening very quickly because the moment you're like,
you find a beautiful orc woman and you're or a
guy or or whatever you know, and next thing, but
they start, they start like, you know, crying out an
ecstasy in elvish. Are you going to break their jaw?
Speaker 5: You gotta sell part of pork meeting involves breaking sir.
Speaker 4: That's also assault. So we're gonna see Moog might spend
the rest of his trip in prison in the in
the I in case you, in case you forgot, Moog
already murdered a bunch of people in that restaurant. That's true. Well,
there's also you also can save everybody on board, say
like you know what thirteen desks versus like a thousand
people saved, you know, kind of like you know, potato Potato,
I mean the demon did as demon did you know?
Speaker 6: You?
Speaker 4: You you all are responsible for saving lives. So, but
for the sake of you guys, if you go into
certain rooms change your stats, you can once this thing
is over, you go back to that totally right down
your original stats. So you can go back to that
if you want, or you can go to certain places
that'll change your stats. You can go there once a
day and you've out nine days left. So uh, the SPA,
the pamper champ will take your wisdom up, put your
decks down. The gym strength up, int down, the bar,
constitution up, decks down, pulled strength up, wisdom down, the
survival games decks up, charisma down, the theater NT up,
strength down, the sex club charisma up, wisdom down, library,
intelligence up, charisma down. Zoo which you guys ever went to,
Wisdom up, constitution down, theater camp Uh, charisma up, constitution down.
Obstacle course decks up, intelligence, down, yoga Constitution up and
strength down, and sleeping quarters is just just sleeping quarters.
Speaker 1: So well, this presents an opportunity for Jostra because he
could do something that is something up, constitution down because
he has an ambulet.
Speaker 4: The mythic the constitution will lock his is it always
makes it nineteen no matter what.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he could get a free stet here at
the expense of something he doesn't have to worry about.
Speaker 4: Right he could. I mean, he could do something to
take this constitution down but raise other things. And as
long as he wears that ambult, his constitution will always
say the same m hm. So for example, like he
was like you know, but if he was to go
to like the the basically because it also caps at
it like around twenty one. You can't really go above that,
or you can but like it's it's weird like the
D and D rules. So he could go to like
the zoo a couple of times and bump his wisdom
up and his constitution will go down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he gets free wisdom.
Speaker 4: Yes, Now what's it going to do with more perception checks?
I don't know in sever roles perception set If I guess,
all right, someone needs to be so does anybody want
to do anything special during that time?
Speaker 3: Do we get to keep our cups after we leave
the ship?
Speaker 4: They only yes, but they only work on the ship.
You also have a lot of like Grand Whimsy, like
I said, merchandise, a lot of the T shirts, like
I'm sure there are plenty of times like little cameras
caught you a certain points differ different battles. You can
wear a T shirt when you guys are fighting the demon.
Speaker 3: And you know some we have to pay for the
seven your photos.
Speaker 4: No, these're all comp for you. Like you also got
you guys got a lot of store credit. Uh, like
the thousands of gold in store credit that you guys
got for saving the ship. And like you also have
like like a lot of like you have a lot
of tribal miles, like free miles, like you can you
can sweat. You can take the Grand Whimsy basically whenever
you want.
Speaker 2: So nice buffet. It sounds nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I don't think I can fuck with
the equilibrium of my stats. I don't think there's anything
I can do that again.
Speaker 4: At the end of the thing, you can always like
they have an ability to reset your stats back to
the way they are, back to the beginning of the ship.
This is this is this ismost be fun for people,
and it's kind of like I want to be for
this week long chore atten days. Don't to be really
strong but really stupid or I want to be really Smark.
Speaker 1: Was the name of that delightful hoe I was talking to?
Speaker 4: Oh the oh the in the sex club? Yeah? Oh god,
did I give her? I know, I gave her a
Name's see if I remember? Was I smart enough to
write it down on the character? Let's go look real fast,
let's go, let's go take a look inside the uh
the brothel. Damn, I just need to wench Sondra wench. Yeah,
I do remember what it was? Oh goodness, Uh you
know what, I'm sure? Maybe has it been the chat
played pay attention better than I do. Do they know anyway?
We'll say Cassandra, Sure it's not, but you know miss Cassandra.
So yes, Darning, welcome back?
Speaker 1: How chobyl get some ah delightful?
Speaker 4: Hello?
Speaker 1: Uh just passing through. I don't know if you heard,
but we saved to day the other day?
Speaker 5: Oh yes, what day?
Speaker 4: Is this is this immediately following or is it like
the next day.
Speaker 2: Or.
Speaker 1: Steadily drunk on the fumes of hyena pissed since his friend.
Speaker 4: So it's been like twenty minutes later, got it? Okay?
Speaker 1: Who thinks he's an elf? Who thinks he's an or?
It's a confusing situation. But yeah, this and I'm a
delightful tales. If you would like to go to dinner
with me, stand and deliver a man of at least
interesting stories.
Speaker 4: Uh so you're asking the sex worker? Uh if genera dates? Yes, Okay,
I assume like this is like not on the clock,
So give me persuasion. Roll with advantage because you saved
the ship and you're kind of drunk, so you've got
you got some swagger to you. Is normally the circumstances
in which I like to ask people for a date.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm okay, now I'm gonna feel like a third wheel.
Speaker 1: Justa let me roll the persuasion before I tell her
you'll go to be there to twenty one?
Speaker 4: Is that with advantage?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: No, well I can roll it again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, roll it again. I mean twenty one is really good.
I was gonna see if you can get even better?
Speaker 6: You have?
Speaker 4: Well twenty four? Oh, she pushes the gimp aside and
leans one elbow on the on the like you know,
the person who's me may just set at a table
with their will like, oh yes, dear, tell me more.
Where would you like to go?
Speaker 1: Well, I thought we could take a stroll across the
deck under the moonlight slash sunlight. I don't know what
time it is, and Jowser will follow at least ten
paces behind.
Speaker 4: Well, it's only whatever time of day it is, like
I get off around like she gives you, like later tonight,
when she's she's her, she shuts down the sex unche
at a certain point or else her like she'll have
someone else take over her shift, like after that, like
to get a little cleaned up, you know what I mean.
So I can meet you about an hour after that.
So it's around later that night. So you squeeze yourself
off and she'll see you.
Speaker 1: At the what's the name of a fancy restaurant here?
Give me I just throw one out.
Speaker 4: Well, the actual at the Seamen's Twinkle on the Impossible
Taste was the name of the bar Russia. But you
know what, maybe there's a there's a private one for
like the like they like, it's not in a twinkle
sounds fantastic.
Speaker 1: So now lean over to Jews and say, jostraight, I
needed to quickly go set up an intimate little bar
at the fourth called the get a tuxedo.
Speaker 4: All right, So stand's gonna like the So for the
remainder of the of the of the of this voyage,
you have a wonderful time with a miss Cassandra here,
mistress of pain, and uh yeah, uh you strake up.
You find out she's like, she's not me, she's not old,
but she's not young, but she's like she's a mature
woman who is very powerful what she does like and
does not like, and uh has no problem to anyone
what she wants.
Speaker 1: So uh pul conversation with a fascinating woman.
Speaker 4: A fantastic song.
Speaker 1: That's you, Joe Serah bring is another bottle of hyena piss.
Speaker 4: Please, Georger, what are you doing for all when you're
not acting as his uh wingman.
Speaker 2: There's no way I'm waiting that long to eat. I
am okay, I'm gonna go fill up on crab leggs,
all right.
Speaker 4: So you're gonna go back to the to the main
like slot bucket for the regular people. And get whatever
you want from the hibachi style thing and they fossil
taste up top full of crab licks.
Speaker 2: That's all I need.
Speaker 4: So for the next nine days, you would like, I
assume it's it's I assume it's sex club and food,
right for you? Yeah, okay, that's good, Claudia, What do
you want to do for the next nine days?
Speaker 3: She and Cabert went back to the water park. But
now I'm thinking about it, is it still full of
dead people?
Speaker 4: Well, it's been cleaned out. I mean, here's at least
you go back the next day. Wouldn't return to the
scene to crime right away, but by the next day,
like the body's been tossed overboard, prayers have been said.
This ain't the first time we've got dead kids in
a water park. They're kidding me, you know, So everything's right?
Is rain within the next day? You know, this is
this is you know, it's like a Disney cruise. Like,
don't all these people wearing black licking sad?
Speaker 3: Claudia is like, I'm assuming we're still going to be racing.
Speaker 4: And you know, still racist, Yes, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: Racing down the slides with Cabert, But yeah, that we
could do that for definitely half the time and maybe
it's like Rocco check out the Obstacle Course the other half.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so like when you guys go to the Obstacle
Course and like you know that that was that would
be a thing you do that sort of thing if
you guys end up going to like the obviously the
spa is a spa of the gym. I don't think
he wants to go get swollen, No, I don't think
maybe he really wants to go back to the theater
after their viewing of uh Warforts Constable. I mean they
might have like, you know, Surviving the Tower, which is like,
you know, play about you know obviously you know, the
the young Constable that gets stuck in a tower and
he has to sit when Terror's takeover and he's got
to fight his way free. It's got a lot of
fun and a haha, I've got a crossbow. People will
really like that play. But then there's the Obstacle Course,
which fun, and then there's the basically their version of
laser tag where like warfworks hunt you with like their
version of lasers to shoot you down, like and so
it's a it's a big laser tag game against robots,
no no chance of them going crazy in attacking you.
Speaker 3: You know what this place needs, It needs an arcade
like I feel a distinct lack of a claw machine, right.
Speaker 4: I only have so much time to build so many things,
five of them.
Speaker 5: So why why have you failed this as a DM giving.
Speaker 4: I mean, well, that's a fucking cloba shit gippie I built.
I even have the maps for like there's a survival
game place there was there was the oh, the one
place that was like the theater camp for your inner thesbian,
like if you wanted to go do that, I had
that ready to go. Uh uh and moo, what would
you like to do with the the next nine days
of your voyage? Moog is pretty much staying drunk, balls
deep in eating green exactly.
Speaker 5: Drunk and and probably violent. So yes, I have no
doubt Moog will end up in the brig you know,
Reeking of Hyenipis.
Speaker 4: So you have you're on a nine day ben and
now the rest of your friends, you are very much
aware that Moog as far as you can tell, every
elf at Moog sig Moog season or to include himself,
every time he sees like so he assumes Claudia is
half ork. He assumes stand his half ork. He sees
his hand. He's as far as he's concerned, he's back
to being work. But for the rest of you seeing people,
he's an elf. And when he's talking to us, an elf.
He has drunk off his ass, and he has been
banging so many elf he is like he has been
He has so much elf ass. He smells like Harry's
and nuts. It is it is, Yeah, yeah, I think
Moove's really coming along with the whole prejudice thing. At
one point, you guys like walk in during the day.
You look over the pile and move gets in a
circle of elves, just just everything, taking it, giving it
in a circle of and they're like whatever, and oh
my god, oh no, wait, they're alive. And with that
mental imagery of moo bukocki by elves, I think we've
reached the end of this particular did you say moo cockied?
Great episode title right there. We sure do know our
audience or else our audience left us a long time ago. Regardless,
that's the end of this episode of the Dicey Bats.
Was then the end of the Grand Whimsy leg I
don't know if we're like, I don't know if we're
gonna take a break before we come over, like probably
the season three with the uh the new Thing or
I don't forgot, have an interlude or not. But in
the meantime on behalf of who Longer Longer with Us,
the poor Dad, Drew Hayes who just had to leave,
h Robert Bevan, Rick Walterry, Emily Caplan, Steve Weatherill, and
I'm m. K. Gibson. Season three, They arrive at the
island they were going to where we'll catch you all
next time. Goodbye, everybody, Bye.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Dicey Bastard's cats see if Authors
and Dragons Check us out at Authors and Dragons dot
com or look up our Patreon if you want to supporters,
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Speaker 4: I'm Swimming in Geyser