WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Poop stories. Okay, well, we don't want to make the

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<v Speaker 1>entire podcast about poop stories, but let's get started with

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<v Speaker 1>this one. On the Minnesota Goodbye Here we Go. I

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<v Speaker 1>was driving to work one rainy Arizona morning, which already

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<v Speaker 1>spells disaster since nobody knows how to drive in the

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<v Speaker 1>rain there, and I felt the urge to poop or

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<v Speaker 1>past gas, pass gas. So I did and instantly thought,

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<v Speaker 1>uh oh, it felt a little too questionable. By the

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<v Speaker 1>time I made it a class late, of course, thanks

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<v Speaker 1>Arizona drivers, the entire group is already waiting. I scrambled

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<v Speaker 1>to set up my equipment and made a b line

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<v Speaker 1>for the bathroom to assess the situation. Now, mind you,

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<v Speaker 1>the bathroom's right next to the classroom, so everything going

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<v Speaker 1>on in there was basically public knowledge. And yep, it

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<v Speaker 1>was a wet one. Now there was no time to

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<v Speaker 1>take off my underwear thanks to the giant boots I

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<v Speaker 1>had on, so I did some emergency cleanup fashion a

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<v Speaker 1>paper towel barrier between me and the mess. And because

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<v Speaker 1>as a woman, you got to protect the fine china,

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<v Speaker 1>I powered Jesus Christ. I powered through a two hour class,

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<v Speaker 1>walking and standing the entire time, we're apparently the instructor

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<v Speaker 1>of the teacher. Gosh, finally between sessions I get a

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<v Speaker 1>chance to ditch the compromise Dundee's, but teaching commando not

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<v Speaker 1>my style. It was a whole new level of discomfort. Love, y'all,

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<v Speaker 1>you're the best. Big shout out to Andrea in Arizona.

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<v Speaker 1>Love seeing a fellow Arizonian appreciate the greatness that is

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<v Speaker 1>the Dave Ryan Show. Now, let's be real. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>secretly hope to casually run into Dave when he visits?

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<v Speaker 1>Not saying you'd go full detective mode like some kind

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<v Speaker 1>of Dave tracking ninja, but hypothetically if you accidentally ended

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<v Speaker 1>up in the same coffee shop, that would be pretty legendary.

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<v Speaker 1>Andrea in Arizona, I do have a friend named Andrea

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<v Speaker 1>Perlis who lives in Arizona, and she follows us on Facebook.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the same one. It's got to be.

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<v Speaker 1>It must be the same one. And I dated Andrea's

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<v Speaker 1>friend Diane long ago, back when I lived in Arizona.

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<v Speaker 1>And Andrea is wonderful and she's funny, and we're still

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<v Speaker 1>friends on Facebook, even though I haven't seen her in

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<v Speaker 1>a very long time, funny poop story, Nikki, I appreciate it.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me find the delete button so I don't read

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<v Speaker 1>it tomorrow. Okay, next one friendly airline employee again, don't

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<v Speaker 1>say my name. Our Aal airlines fly baby chicks all

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<v Speaker 1>over the country. There are hatcheries here in the Midwest.

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<v Speaker 1>We put hundreds of boxes on hundreds of flights in

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<v Speaker 1>the baggage bins from the postal service, so time passage,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes passengers can hear them. When there are lots of them,

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<v Speaker 1>they keep each other warm. So we even ship in

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<v Speaker 1>the wintertime. When I plan where the bags, freight and

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<v Speaker 1>mail go, I have to plan the little chicks and

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<v Speaker 1>the heated bins, and we let the captain know it's

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<v Speaker 1>a live shipment flight. We separate them from dry ice

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<v Speaker 1>shipments by placing dry ice in the opposite end of

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<v Speaker 1>the aircraft. We have many boxes filled with chickens hanging

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<v Speaker 1>out in our camp ready rooms when the temperature goes

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<v Speaker 1>down to zero. They are so cute. Chirp, chirp, Naomi.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure why she wrote about baby chicks and airplanes.

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<v Speaker 1>Does anybody know why?

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<v Speaker 3>Remember?

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<v Speaker 4>I think it was just a I like it, but

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know, so baby chicks are just flying on

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<v Speaker 4>passenger plane airplanes apparently.

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<v Speaker 3>So.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I held the baby chick ones. It was the

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<v Speaker 5>cutest thing I have ever seen. It's just so tiny

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<v Speaker 5>and they're so bright yellow and they just go peepepeep.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh my gosh, it's so cute.

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<v Speaker 3>They are adorable cute.

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<v Speaker 1>We used to, you know, we raise chickens when I

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<v Speaker 1>was a kid, and so we would get a shipment

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<v Speaker 1>of baby chicks, I think probably every February or so,

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<v Speaker 1>and we'd put them in the garage and they'd have

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<v Speaker 1>their little water feeder which looks like an upside down bucket,

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<v Speaker 1>and a heat lamp to keep them warm. And when

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<v Speaker 1>they are new, they are adorable. They're just they're soft

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<v Speaker 1>and they're beep beep, beep, beep beep. They really are adorable.

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<v Speaker 1>And they have a smell that's kind of a pleasant smell. So,

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<v Speaker 1>in other words, instead of like you know, animal poop

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever, chicken poop, little baby chicken poop is kind

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<v Speaker 1>of a pleasant, sweet smell. It's not gross, but I

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<v Speaker 1>will tell you, within a few weeks they grow up

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<v Speaker 1>to be quite unpleasant little animals.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and now they're.

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<v Speaker 1>Little chickens, so they are cute when they're little. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>here we go, next one. I'm a longtime listener, even

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<v Speaker 1>after I went to college in Chicago in twenty thirteen

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<v Speaker 1>and since moved to New York City. The consistency this

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<v Speaker 1>show provides in my life is something unexpected but exceedingly important.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for all that. Now for a topic of conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>If you can know the answer to one mystery, what

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<v Speaker 1>would it be? I love this question because I think

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<v Speaker 1>as humans, there is nothing more frustrating than admitting we

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<v Speaker 1>might never know something. I was surprised when I asked

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<v Speaker 1>my dad this question. His answer was, I want to

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<v Speaker 1>know once and for all if OJ did it. Just

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<v Speaker 1>for the record, well, we're both more than one thousand

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<v Speaker 1>percent convinced that he did it, which made him think

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<v Speaker 1>his answer was particularly interesting. What would you guys each

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<v Speaker 1>like to know? Would also love a staff writer sticker?

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<v Speaker 1>That is Kate in New York, New York. To me,

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<v Speaker 1>there's never been a question that OJ did it. One

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<v Speaker 1>of the biggest pieces of evidence is when they called

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<v Speaker 1>him to tell him his wife died, that he did

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<v Speaker 1>not ask how she died, Like if I called you

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<v Speaker 1>and said, oh, Mama RNDA, she died, your first question

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<v Speaker 1>would be like.

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<v Speaker 3>What happened?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what the heck?

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<v Speaker 1>But when you know how she died because you killed her,

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<v Speaker 1>that's some pretty fucking powerful evidence along with all the

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<v Speaker 1>other powerful evidence. So, Jenny, what mystery would you like

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<v Speaker 1>to know the answer to? See?

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not a good person to ask because I don't

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<v Speaker 4>do like murder mystery crime stuff like that. I'm just

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<v Speaker 4>like really not into that kind of stuff. So mine

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<v Speaker 4>would be more financial based of like what should I

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<v Speaker 4>invest in? I know that's not what they're asking, but

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<v Speaker 4>I genuinely don't care enough about anything any kind of

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<v Speaker 4>assassination or anything like that to have an answer.

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<v Speaker 5>I'd love to know about like Bigfoot or like Sasquatch

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<v Speaker 5>or aliens ors.

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<v Speaker 1>Jenny, because Jenny phil in for Bigfoot when he's on

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<v Speaker 1>coffee break.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, big when he's on coffee break, that's real. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I've never met him in person yet. So whoever hires

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<v Speaker 2>me they pass the break room, Yeah, they passing.

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<v Speaker 4>Whoever hires me to fill in, I've never actually met.

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<v Speaker 4>I think it's his agent.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, Dangea, you take that very well?

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<v Speaker 5>If like, uh if unicorns, because I know I've seen

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<v Speaker 5>them in Wisconsin. I just want to know, if I

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<v Speaker 5>didn't see them, what was it, because I'm I'm confident

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<v Speaker 5>I saw unicorns in Wisconsin.

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<v Speaker 2>I've told you this story again fifteen and then twenty.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, goat. You know it was a goat.

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<v Speaker 5>No, it's a horse with a horn and it's white.

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<v Speaker 5>There's no way it wasn't a unicorn. And if it wasn't,

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<v Speaker 5>I need to know what it was because I wasn't crazy,

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<v Speaker 5>I wasn't drunk, I wasn't on drugs. I was literally

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<v Speaker 5>fifteen years old looking out the window, period. So anyway,

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<v Speaker 5>I want to know what that is. That's the mystery

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<v Speaker 5>I'd like to be solved.

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<v Speaker 1>What cheers Dave mine is the jfk assassination, And I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to get too technical, but it is fascinated

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<v Speaker 1>and entree me ever since I was in high school

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<v Speaker 1>and read a book about it, and I've been to

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<v Speaker 1>Dealey Plaza where he was shot a couple of times.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's one of those things where we literally would

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<v Speaker 1>never know if somebody came forward with the truth right now,

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<v Speaker 1>we literally would not know if it was the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>And it is just, you know, without getting into the

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<v Speaker 1>weeds on it. It's just there's so much evidence this

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<v Speaker 1>way and so much evidence the other way, So I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. Okay, next one, Hello morning show crew. All

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<v Speaker 1>these poop stories have me cracking up. I had to

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<v Speaker 1>chime in, not with one from experience, but one my

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<v Speaker 1>dad is told. Back in the day, probably before I

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<v Speaker 1>was born, He and his best friend from college were

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<v Speaker 1>on a road trip along with a friend's mom who

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<v Speaker 1>was from backwoods West Virginia. Nice lady, but very redneck,

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<v Speaker 1>just for contact. According to the story, at some point

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<v Speaker 1>during the trip, she had to go number two, so

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<v Speaker 1>they stopped at a gas station let her do her thing,

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<v Speaker 1>then got back. On their way back on the road,

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<v Speaker 1>she randomly pulls something out of her purse and chucks

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<v Speaker 1>it out the window. No one knew what it was,

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<v Speaker 1>and naturally, my dad and his friend her son started

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<v Speaker 1>to ask her about it. She finally admitted that when

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<v Speaker 1>she used the bathroom the toilet was clogged and she

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<v Speaker 1>was ashamed for the next person to see her poop,

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<v Speaker 1>so her solution was to scoop it out by hand.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, wrap it in toilet paper, store it

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<v Speaker 1>in her purse until she could discarded on the side

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<v Speaker 1>of the highway. That was her thinking. Needless to say,

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<v Speaker 1>that was the highlight of the trip. That we laugh

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<v Speaker 1>about it every time it gets brought up. Wow, wow, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>love it. All the stories just had to chime in.

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<v Speaker 1>I swear I'm not making this up. No, I believe

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<v Speaker 1>you have a good weekend and no dart licking if

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<v Speaker 1>they're from West Virginia. All right, and that is from Kevin. Kevin,

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<v Speaker 1>great story, thank you. I think we might actually somebody

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<v Speaker 1>offers to take the puppet that is used in as

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<v Speaker 1>Catherine writes in and she says, if Day doesn't want

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<v Speaker 1>his puppet, I'll take it, assuming as the puppet used

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<v Speaker 1>in the theater skit of Nick the Stoner.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh yes it is.

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<v Speaker 1>It sits up over my left shoulder during the Showy. No,

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<v Speaker 1>that's still mine.

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<v Speaker 5>I love that puppet. Well, you said you would leave

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<v Speaker 5>the puppet you would like burn it or something when

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<v Speaker 5>you leave.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I did say that, didn't I'm going to get

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<v Speaker 1>rid of all this, but for now, I still think

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<v Speaker 1>that it adds a little personality to the morning show studio.

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<v Speaker 1>We have very little decor in here. We have a

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<v Speaker 1>Jesse Ventura doll up over the top of Jenny's head

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<v Speaker 1>on the wall. And even though Jesse Ventura has not

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<v Speaker 1>been topical in Minnesota for fifteen to twenty years, it's

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<v Speaker 1>still there there. And we have a Vikings little doll like.

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<v Speaker 2>He kind of looks like a Marionette puppet.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and then behind him stuff in the corner that

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<v Speaker 1>I've actually never noticed is the doll from.

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<v Speaker 5>Saw Yeah, and that Vikings dude is covered in.

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<v Speaker 1>Dust, covered in dust, and people ask us. There's also

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<v Speaker 1>a life size, full scale real traffic light in the

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<v Speaker 1>corner behind Jenny and you never see it, and it

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<v Speaker 1>lights up when Jenny when somebody calls on the hotline.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, if they call our direct phone number, the light

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<v Speaker 4>goes red, so that usually insinuates that we're getting a

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<v Speaker 4>hotline call. And then sometimes the green will pop on.

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<v Speaker 4>But I don't know why.

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<v Speaker 1>It used to way back in the day when I

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<v Speaker 1>first started here, because it's been in every studio I've

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<v Speaker 1>been in, three different studios with KDWB. It used to

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<v Speaker 1>light up when there was like ten seconds left in

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<v Speaker 1>a song as the warning to the DJ to like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, get your headphones on, turn your microphone on,

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<v Speaker 1>and then the red light was always the boss is calling.

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<v Speaker 1>And the yellow light, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly yellow light's ever gone on?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think so. But where we got a traffic light?

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<v Speaker 1>I have no idea anything else we want to cover

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<v Speaker 1>on the Minnesota goodbye rather short one today. We're only

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<v Speaker 1>at ten minutes and forty seven seconds right now.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh okay, Jenny's going to have a new boyfriend soon.

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<v Speaker 5>He's Dutch and beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>I said that, we are not talking about this.

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<v Speaker 3>Why do we talk about it?

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<v Speaker 2>My bad?

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<v Speaker 4>I know, just made a new friend this weekend and

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<v Speaker 4>I flirted a little bit and everything Bailey just said

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<v Speaker 4>is Yes, he's Dutch, and he's beautiful, and he's going

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<v Speaker 4>to fix my bike tire for me because he used

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<v Speaker 4>to work on bikes.

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<v Speaker 2>So nice.

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<v Speaker 3>He is beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, he looks like a he's got kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>is his hair silvery grayish?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's got that salt and pepper lug.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, and he's probably your your age ish.

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<v Speaker 2>He's five years older than me.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, anyway, I can't wait.

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<v Speaker 5>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>I just fall in love.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm in this like weird phase of like I don't know,

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I just went through this not breakup, but

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<v Speaker 4>like publicly talked about it. And now I like hate

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<v Speaker 4>that I honestly had to do that, but it is

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<v Speaker 4>just kind of part of our jobs. And now I'm

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<v Speaker 4>back out here dating and I don't like want to

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<v Speaker 4>share too much too soon because I don't want to

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<v Speaker 4>ruin anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you don't want what's it? He didn't have a name,

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<v Speaker 1>but give me a good Swedish name, Borg Jorgen Borgan.

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<v Speaker 1>Say his name is Jorgenborgan.

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<v Speaker 3>I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but you don't want him to hear about it

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<v Speaker 1>on the radio and be like, oh, I do not

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<v Speaker 1>want to be talked about on the EIGHTYOL and that

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<v Speaker 1>is a switch of Dutch.

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<v Speaker 3>Dutch act Dutch ass.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean exactly.

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<v Speaker 4>I just feel like a lot of people aren't prepared

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<v Speaker 4>to if they are to date me, they're not prepared

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<v Speaker 4>to have their lives talked about on the radio. And

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<v Speaker 4>once again, I just met this man, I have nothing.

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<v Speaker 3>Sounds like you're already talking about it on the radio.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>I love going on putting the cart before the horse,

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<v Speaker 5>That's like something I love to do. So see, and

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<v Speaker 5>I'm at Mary's slowburn, like I it takes me a

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<v Speaker 5>while to like commit to people like not. Maybe a

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<v Speaker 5>little bit different now at this age, but in my twenties,

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<v Speaker 5>like we could be hanging out for months and I

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<v Speaker 5>wouldn't say we were dating.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So so are you changing your status relationship status

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<v Speaker 1>to in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>No.

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<v Speaker 4>The only reason I even use Facebook still is because

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<v Speaker 4>of the day Ryan Show page.

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<v Speaker 2>I do not use my own Facebook, gotcha.

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<v Speaker 4>I can tell you the last time I like, I

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<v Speaker 4>know people wish me happy birthday on my birthday. I

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<v Speaker 4>didn't even look at a single one of those. Oh,

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<v Speaker 4>I don't do Facebook. Now, if you know me, then

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<v Speaker 4>you probably know that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's an interesting dilemma on your birthday. You get depending

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<v Speaker 1>on how many friends you have, hundreds or dozens of

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<v Speaker 1>people saying happy birthday. I go through and I try

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<v Speaker 1>to like every single one of them so they'll at

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<v Speaker 1>least know that I acknowledged that they said happy birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's such an effortless thing because you can pull

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<v Speaker 1>up on Facebook friends with birthdays today, Yeah, and it'll

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<v Speaker 1>already have written a messaging. You tap it, it'll send

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<v Speaker 1>it with about a second worth of effort. So I

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<v Speaker 1>don't do that. If I'm going to wish somebody. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>say it's Mamranda's birthday and I see, oh ma, Miranda's

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<v Speaker 1>got a birthday today, I won't send the generic pre

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<v Speaker 1>written one and be like, hey girl, happy birthday, so

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<v Speaker 1>she'll know it was from me in real life.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I only send happy birthdays to people who like

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<v Speaker 5>mean something in my life, not like someone I went

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<v Speaker 5>to high school with that literally like post on your

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<v Speaker 5>wall happy birthday and you're like, you don't care about me?

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<v Speaker 2>What you just saw that it was my birthday?

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<v Speaker 3>To day? Yeah? Remember when wave was was poke Pope?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Poke, Yeah, was a thing on Facebook. And once in

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<v Speaker 1>a while somebody my age who doesn't know that poke

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<v Speaker 1>is not a thing anymore, will say, you know, Vanessa

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<v Speaker 1>poked you.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, what the heck is happening?

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody, nobody pokes anymore pokes anymore? Does anybody ever update

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<v Speaker 1>their relationship status on Facebook?

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<v Speaker 5>Honestly, here's t When I was unhappy with my last relationship,

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<v Speaker 5>and this was before he moved out and everything I

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<v Speaker 5>marked it as like you couldn't see it anymore because

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<v Speaker 5>I didn't want people to see that I was in

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<v Speaker 5>a relationship. And then when Finally, when we finally broke up,

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<v Speaker 5>I just deleted it entirely from my account, so I

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<v Speaker 5>never actually like took it off and said like Bailey

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<v Speaker 5>is single.

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<v Speaker 3>I just deleted it.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, fair enough, all right, Well that'll bring us

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<v Speaker 1>up to fifteen minutes, which is a good benchmark, a

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<v Speaker 1>good yardstick for the Minnesota Goodbye. Most important thing in

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<v Speaker 1>the Minnesota Goodbye is your input, your creativity, your question.

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<v Speaker 1>Send those to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.