Speaker 1: Poop stories. Okay, well, we don't want to make the
Speaker 1: entire podcast about poop stories, but let's get started with
Speaker 1: this one. On the Minnesota Goodbye Here we Go. I
Speaker 1: was driving to work one rainy Arizona morning, which already
Speaker 1: spells disaster since nobody knows how to drive in the
Speaker 1: rain there, and I felt the urge to poop or
Speaker 1: past gas, pass gas. So I did and instantly thought,
Speaker 1: uh oh, it felt a little too questionable. By the
Speaker 1: time I made it a class late, of course, thanks
Speaker 1: Arizona drivers, the entire group is already waiting. I scrambled
Speaker 1: to set up my equipment and made a b line
Speaker 1: for the bathroom to assess the situation. Now, mind you,
Speaker 1: the bathroom's right next to the classroom, so everything going
Speaker 1: on in there was basically public knowledge. And yep, it
Speaker 1: was a wet one. Now there was no time to
Speaker 1: take off my underwear thanks to the giant boots I
Speaker 1: had on, so I did some emergency cleanup fashion a
Speaker 1: paper towel barrier between me and the mess. And because
Speaker 1: as a woman, you got to protect the fine china,
Speaker 1: I powered Jesus Christ. I powered through a two hour class,
Speaker 1: walking and standing the entire time, we're apparently the instructor
Speaker 1: of the teacher. Gosh, finally between sessions I get a
Speaker 1: chance to ditch the compromise Dundee's, but teaching commando not
Speaker 1: my style. It was a whole new level of discomfort. Love, y'all,
Speaker 1: you're the best. Big shout out to Andrea in Arizona.
Speaker 1: Love seeing a fellow Arizonian appreciate the greatness that is
Speaker 1: the Dave Ryan Show. Now, let's be real. Do you
Speaker 1: secretly hope to casually run into Dave when he visits?
Speaker 1: Not saying you'd go full detective mode like some kind
Speaker 1: of Dave tracking ninja, but hypothetically if you accidentally ended
Speaker 1: up in the same coffee shop, that would be pretty legendary.
Speaker 1: Andrea in Arizona, I do have a friend named Andrea
Speaker 1: Perlis who lives in Arizona, and she follows us on Facebook.
Speaker 2: It's the same one. It's got to be.
Speaker 1: It must be the same one. And I dated Andrea's
Speaker 1: friend Diane long ago, back when I lived in Arizona.
Speaker 1: And Andrea is wonderful and she's funny, and we're still
Speaker 1: friends on Facebook, even though I haven't seen her in
Speaker 1: a very long time, funny poop story, Nikki, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Let me find the delete button so I don't read
Speaker 1: it tomorrow. Okay, next one friendly airline employee again, don't
Speaker 1: say my name. Our Aal airlines fly baby chicks all
Speaker 1: over the country. There are hatcheries here in the Midwest.
Speaker 1: We put hundreds of boxes on hundreds of flights in
Speaker 1: the baggage bins from the postal service, so time passage,
Speaker 1: sometimes passengers can hear them. When there are lots of them,
Speaker 1: they keep each other warm. So we even ship in
Speaker 1: the wintertime. When I plan where the bags, freight and
Speaker 1: mail go, I have to plan the little chicks and
Speaker 1: the heated bins, and we let the captain know it's
Speaker 1: a live shipment flight. We separate them from dry ice
Speaker 1: shipments by placing dry ice in the opposite end of
Speaker 1: the aircraft. We have many boxes filled with chickens hanging
Speaker 1: out in our camp ready rooms when the temperature goes
Speaker 1: down to zero. They are so cute. Chirp, chirp, Naomi.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure why she wrote about baby chicks and airplanes.
Speaker 1: Does anybody know why?
Speaker 3: Remember?
Speaker 4: I think it was just a I like it, but
Speaker 4: I don't know, so baby chicks are just flying on
Speaker 4: passenger plane airplanes apparently.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I held the baby chick ones. It was the
Speaker 5: cutest thing I have ever seen. It's just so tiny
Speaker 5: and they're so bright yellow and they just go peepepeep.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, it's so cute.
Speaker 3: They are adorable cute.
Speaker 1: We used to, you know, we raise chickens when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, and so we would get a shipment
Speaker 1: of baby chicks, I think probably every February or so,
Speaker 1: and we'd put them in the garage and they'd have
Speaker 1: their little water feeder which looks like an upside down bucket,
Speaker 1: and a heat lamp to keep them warm. And when
Speaker 1: they are new, they are adorable. They're just they're soft
Speaker 1: and they're beep beep, beep, beep beep. They really are adorable.
Speaker 1: And they have a smell that's kind of a pleasant smell. So,
Speaker 1: in other words, instead of like you know, animal poop
Speaker 1: or whatever, chicken poop, little baby chicken poop is kind
Speaker 1: of a pleasant, sweet smell. It's not gross, but I
Speaker 1: will tell you, within a few weeks they grow up
Speaker 1: to be quite unpleasant little animals.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and now they're.
Speaker 1: Little chickens, so they are cute when they're little. All right,
Speaker 1: here we go, next one. I'm a longtime listener, even
Speaker 1: after I went to college in Chicago in twenty thirteen
Speaker 1: and since moved to New York City. The consistency this
Speaker 1: show provides in my life is something unexpected but exceedingly important.
Speaker 1: Thanks for all that. Now for a topic of conversation.
Speaker 1: If you can know the answer to one mystery, what
Speaker 1: would it be? I love this question because I think
Speaker 1: as humans, there is nothing more frustrating than admitting we
Speaker 1: might never know something. I was surprised when I asked
Speaker 1: my dad this question. His answer was, I want to
Speaker 1: know once and for all if OJ did it. Just
Speaker 1: for the record, well, we're both more than one thousand
Speaker 1: percent convinced that he did it, which made him think
Speaker 1: his answer was particularly interesting. What would you guys each
Speaker 1: like to know? Would also love a staff writer sticker?
Speaker 1: That is Kate in New York, New York. To me,
Speaker 1: there's never been a question that OJ did it. One
Speaker 1: of the biggest pieces of evidence is when they called
Speaker 1: him to tell him his wife died, that he did
Speaker 1: not ask how she died, Like if I called you
Speaker 1: and said, oh, Mama RNDA, she died, your first question
Speaker 1: would be like.
Speaker 3: What happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what the heck?
Speaker 1: But when you know how she died because you killed her,
Speaker 1: that's some pretty fucking powerful evidence along with all the
Speaker 1: other powerful evidence. So, Jenny, what mystery would you like
Speaker 1: to know the answer to? See?
Speaker 4: I'm not a good person to ask because I don't
Speaker 4: do like murder mystery crime stuff like that. I'm just
Speaker 4: like really not into that kind of stuff. So mine
Speaker 4: would be more financial based of like what should I
Speaker 4: invest in? I know that's not what they're asking, but
Speaker 4: I genuinely don't care enough about anything any kind of
Speaker 4: assassination or anything like that to have an answer.
Speaker 5: I'd love to know about like Bigfoot or like Sasquatch
Speaker 5: or aliens ors.
Speaker 1: Jenny, because Jenny phil in for Bigfoot when he's on
Speaker 1: coffee break.
Speaker 2: Yeah, big when he's on coffee break, that's real. Okay,
Speaker 2: I've never met him in person yet. So whoever hires
Speaker 2: me they pass the break room, Yeah, they passing.
Speaker 4: Whoever hires me to fill in, I've never actually met.
Speaker 4: I think it's his agent.
Speaker 3: Oh, Dangea, you take that very well?
Speaker 5: If like, uh if unicorns, because I know I've seen
Speaker 5: them in Wisconsin. I just want to know, if I
Speaker 5: didn't see them, what was it, because I'm I'm confident
Speaker 5: I saw unicorns in Wisconsin.
Speaker 2: I've told you this story again fifteen and then twenty.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, goat. You know it was a goat.
Speaker 5: No, it's a horse with a horn and it's white.
Speaker 5: There's no way it wasn't a unicorn. And if it wasn't,
Speaker 5: I need to know what it was because I wasn't crazy,
Speaker 5: I wasn't drunk, I wasn't on drugs. I was literally
Speaker 5: fifteen years old looking out the window, period. So anyway,
Speaker 5: I want to know what that is. That's the mystery
Speaker 5: I'd like to be solved.
Speaker 1: What cheers Dave mine is the jfk assassination, And I
Speaker 1: don't want to get too technical, but it is fascinated
Speaker 1: and entree me ever since I was in high school
Speaker 1: and read a book about it, and I've been to
Speaker 1: Dealey Plaza where he was shot a couple of times.
Speaker 1: And it's one of those things where we literally would
Speaker 1: never know if somebody came forward with the truth right now,
Speaker 1: we literally would not know if it was the truth.
Speaker 1: And it is just, you know, without getting into the
Speaker 1: weeds on it. It's just there's so much evidence this
Speaker 1: way and so much evidence the other way, So I
Speaker 1: don't know. Okay, next one, Hello morning show crew. All
Speaker 1: these poop stories have me cracking up. I had to
Speaker 1: chime in, not with one from experience, but one my
Speaker 1: dad is told. Back in the day, probably before I
Speaker 1: was born, He and his best friend from college were
Speaker 1: on a road trip along with a friend's mom who
Speaker 1: was from backwoods West Virginia. Nice lady, but very redneck,
Speaker 1: just for contact. According to the story, at some point
Speaker 1: during the trip, she had to go number two, so
Speaker 1: they stopped at a gas station let her do her thing,
Speaker 1: then got back. On their way back on the road,
Speaker 1: she randomly pulls something out of her purse and chucks
Speaker 1: it out the window. No one knew what it was,
Speaker 1: and naturally, my dad and his friend her son started
Speaker 1: to ask her about it. She finally admitted that when
Speaker 1: she used the bathroom the toilet was clogged and she
Speaker 1: was ashamed for the next person to see her poop,
Speaker 1: so her solution was to scoop it out by hand.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, wrap it in toilet paper, store it
Speaker 1: in her purse until she could discarded on the side
Speaker 1: of the highway. That was her thinking. Needless to say,
Speaker 1: that was the highlight of the trip. That we laugh
Speaker 1: about it every time it gets brought up. Wow, wow, wow,
Speaker 1: love it. All the stories just had to chime in.
Speaker 1: I swear I'm not making this up. No, I believe
Speaker 1: you have a good weekend and no dart licking if
Speaker 1: they're from West Virginia. All right, and that is from Kevin. Kevin,
Speaker 1: great story, thank you. I think we might actually somebody
Speaker 1: offers to take the puppet that is used in as
Speaker 1: Catherine writes in and she says, if Day doesn't want
Speaker 1: his puppet, I'll take it, assuming as the puppet used
Speaker 1: in the theater skit of Nick the Stoner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yes it is.
Speaker 1: It sits up over my left shoulder during the Showy. No,
Speaker 1: that's still mine.
Speaker 5: I love that puppet. Well, you said you would leave
Speaker 5: the puppet you would like burn it or something when
Speaker 5: you leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did say that, didn't I'm going to get
Speaker 1: rid of all this, but for now, I still think
Speaker 1: that it adds a little personality to the morning show studio.
Speaker 1: We have very little decor in here. We have a
Speaker 1: Jesse Ventura doll up over the top of Jenny's head
Speaker 1: on the wall. And even though Jesse Ventura has not
Speaker 1: been topical in Minnesota for fifteen to twenty years, it's
Speaker 1: still there there. And we have a Vikings little doll like.
Speaker 2: He kind of looks like a Marionette puppet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then behind him stuff in the corner that
Speaker 1: I've actually never noticed is the doll from.
Speaker 5: Saw Yeah, and that Vikings dude is covered in.
Speaker 1: Dust, covered in dust, and people ask us. There's also
Speaker 1: a life size, full scale real traffic light in the
Speaker 1: corner behind Jenny and you never see it, and it
Speaker 1: lights up when Jenny when somebody calls on the hotline.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if they call our direct phone number, the light
Speaker 4: goes red, so that usually insinuates that we're getting a
Speaker 4: hotline call. And then sometimes the green will pop on.
Speaker 4: But I don't know why.
Speaker 1: It used to way back in the day when I
Speaker 1: first started here, because it's been in every studio I've
Speaker 1: been in, three different studios with KDWB. It used to
Speaker 1: light up when there was like ten seconds left in
Speaker 1: a song as the warning to the DJ to like,
Speaker 1: you know, get your headphones on, turn your microphone on,
Speaker 1: and then the red light was always the boss is calling.
Speaker 1: And the yellow light, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Exactly yellow light's ever gone on?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. But where we got a traffic light?
Speaker 1: I have no idea anything else we want to cover
Speaker 1: on the Minnesota goodbye rather short one today. We're only
Speaker 1: at ten minutes and forty seven seconds right now.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, Jenny's going to have a new boyfriend soon.
Speaker 5: He's Dutch and beautiful.
Speaker 2: I said that, we are not talking about this.
Speaker 3: Why do we talk about it?
Speaker 2: My bad?
Speaker 4: I know, just made a new friend this weekend and
Speaker 4: I flirted a little bit and everything Bailey just said
Speaker 4: is Yes, he's Dutch, and he's beautiful, and he's going
Speaker 4: to fix my bike tire for me because he used
Speaker 4: to work on bikes.
Speaker 2: So nice.
Speaker 3: He is beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yes, he looks like a he's got kind of like
Speaker 1: is his hair silvery grayish?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got that salt and pepper lug.
Speaker 3: Okay, and he's probably your your age ish.
Speaker 2: He's five years older than me.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, I can't wait.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 2: I just fall in love.
Speaker 4: I'm in this like weird phase of like I don't know,
Speaker 4: I mean, I just went through this not breakup, but
Speaker 4: like publicly talked about it. And now I like hate
Speaker 4: that I honestly had to do that, but it is
Speaker 4: just kind of part of our jobs. And now I'm
Speaker 4: back out here dating and I don't like want to
Speaker 4: share too much too soon because I don't want to
Speaker 4: ruin anything.
Speaker 1: Well, you don't want what's it? He didn't have a name,
Speaker 1: but give me a good Swedish name, Borg Jorgen Borgan.
Speaker 1: Say his name is Jorgenborgan.
Speaker 3: I like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you don't want him to hear about it
Speaker 1: on the radio and be like, oh, I do not
Speaker 1: want to be talked about on the EIGHTYOL and that
Speaker 1: is a switch of Dutch.
Speaker 3: Dutch act Dutch ass.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean exactly.
Speaker 4: I just feel like a lot of people aren't prepared
Speaker 4: to if they are to date me, they're not prepared
Speaker 4: to have their lives talked about on the radio. And
Speaker 4: once again, I just met this man, I have nothing.
Speaker 3: Sounds like you're already talking about it on the radio.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I love going on putting the cart before the horse,
Speaker 5: That's like something I love to do. So see, and
Speaker 5: I'm at Mary's slowburn, like I it takes me a
Speaker 5: while to like commit to people like not. Maybe a
Speaker 5: little bit different now at this age, but in my twenties,
Speaker 5: like we could be hanging out for months and I
Speaker 5: wouldn't say we were dating.
Speaker 1: Okay, So so are you changing your status relationship status
Speaker 1: to in a relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 4: The only reason I even use Facebook still is because
Speaker 4: of the day Ryan Show page.
Speaker 2: I do not use my own Facebook, gotcha.
Speaker 4: I can tell you the last time I like, I
Speaker 4: know people wish me happy birthday on my birthday. I
Speaker 4: didn't even look at a single one of those. Oh,
Speaker 4: I don't do Facebook. Now, if you know me, then
Speaker 4: you probably know that.
Speaker 1: That's an interesting dilemma on your birthday. You get depending
Speaker 1: on how many friends you have, hundreds or dozens of
Speaker 1: people saying happy birthday. I go through and I try
Speaker 1: to like every single one of them so they'll at
Speaker 1: least know that I acknowledged that they said happy birthday.
Speaker 1: But it's such an effortless thing because you can pull
Speaker 1: up on Facebook friends with birthdays today, Yeah, and it'll
Speaker 1: already have written a messaging. You tap it, it'll send
Speaker 1: it with about a second worth of effort. So I
Speaker 1: don't do that. If I'm going to wish somebody. Let's
Speaker 1: say it's Mamranda's birthday and I see, oh ma, Miranda's
Speaker 1: got a birthday today, I won't send the generic pre
Speaker 1: written one and be like, hey girl, happy birthday, so
Speaker 1: she'll know it was from me in real life.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I only send happy birthdays to people who like
Speaker 5: mean something in my life, not like someone I went
Speaker 5: to high school with that literally like post on your
Speaker 5: wall happy birthday and you're like, you don't care about me?
Speaker 2: What you just saw that it was my birthday?
Speaker 3: To day? Yeah? Remember when wave was was poke Pope?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Poke, Yeah, was a thing on Facebook. And once in
Speaker 1: a while somebody my age who doesn't know that poke
Speaker 1: is not a thing anymore, will say, you know, Vanessa
Speaker 1: poked you.
Speaker 2: You're like, what the heck is happening?
Speaker 1: Nobody, nobody pokes anymore pokes anymore? Does anybody ever update
Speaker 1: their relationship status on Facebook?
Speaker 5: Honestly, here's t When I was unhappy with my last relationship,
Speaker 5: and this was before he moved out and everything I
Speaker 5: marked it as like you couldn't see it anymore because
Speaker 5: I didn't want people to see that I was in
Speaker 5: a relationship. And then when Finally, when we finally broke up,
Speaker 5: I just deleted it entirely from my account, so I
Speaker 5: never actually like took it off and said like Bailey
Speaker 5: is single.
Speaker 3: I just deleted it.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, fair enough, all right, Well that'll bring us
Speaker 1: up to fifteen minutes, which is a good benchmark, a
Speaker 1: good yardstick for the Minnesota Goodbye. Most important thing in
Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye is your input, your creativity, your question.
Speaker 1: Send those to Ryan Show at KDWB dot com.