1 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: All right, yeah, hey, come on. 2 00:00:09,839 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 2: Days not affuse no war with your house National Evangelis 3 00:00:14,279 --> 00:00:17,679 tale rich you to admit which you feel in order 4 00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:22,039 to heal home to affects of god distic abuse, because 5 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:56,200 your feelings do matters. Hi, everyone, and thanks for tuning 6 00:00:56,399 --> 00:01:01,600 in today on this Friday January you married at seventeenth 7 00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:04,480 of twenty twenty six. 8 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,439 Speaker 1: I pray that you have had a blessed stress free, 9 00:01:08,879 --> 00:01:13,239 narcissistic free, abuse free weeks so far and not the 10 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,319 remainder of this week will continue to be so as well. 11 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,359 But if not, we're gonna be talking about a few 12 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,000 things today again. My name is doctor kl Richel Narck 13 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,719 Abuse No More. When we're here to help you admit 14 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,920 what you feel in order to heal from the effects 15 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:34,079 of narcissistic abuse, because your feelings do matter, Yes they do. 16 00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:36,760 But before we go on with today's podcast, I'd like 17 00:01:36,799 --> 00:01:39,120 to invite you to visit us on our website. I 18 00:01:39,159 --> 00:01:41,519 got you know, why do I get that website back? Again? 19 00:01:42,439 --> 00:01:45,000 I think? I you know what is? I have the website, 20 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,840 but I forgot the website address. Okay, it's knock Abuse 21 00:01:47,879 --> 00:01:52,040 No More dot org. I do believe, all right, But 22 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,640 you can also email me at knock Abuse No More 23 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,400 at mail dot com, narck Abuse No More at mail 24 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,159 dot com, or email me at knock Abuse No More 25 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,760 at gmail dot com. And we are on every Monday, Wednesday, 26 00:02:04,799 --> 00:02:09,319 and Friday at ten am Eastern Standard time, non am Central. 27 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,599 And what happened on Wednesday, I actually put the wrong 28 00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:17,879 time in for the program and it came in late, 29 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:22,560 and I do apologize for that. But we're on every Monday, Wednesday, 30 00:02:22,599 --> 00:02:25,639 Friday at ten am Eastern Standard Time, not am Central. 31 00:02:25,719 --> 00:02:27,879 Or you can join us at the time of your 32 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,639 choice of various platforms such as Spreaker, I Heart Radio, 33 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:38,479 spite Us i'll say, Spider, Spotify, Spotify, iTunes, and various 34 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:43,080 other latforms. All right, so what are we talking about today? 35 00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:47,280 We are talking about our personal bill of rights, our 36 00:02:47,319 --> 00:02:49,840 personal bill of rights. Now we often hear about the 37 00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:53,639 bill of rights when you're thinking about our US Constitution 38 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,840 and the bill of rights. But we were talking about 39 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:01,400 our personal bill of rights. Yes, everyone has a personal 40 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,719 bill of rights. If you are an adult, you have 41 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,639 a personal bill of rights. Now, as a child, you 42 00:03:09,719 --> 00:03:13,800 have to go according to what your parents determine for you. 43 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,159 But as an adult. You have a personal bill of rights. 44 00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:21,159 That means that I have the right to certain things, 45 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,360 all right, because I am fearfully and I am wonderfully 46 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,840 made by the Lord above, and so therefore I have 47 00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:31,719 a personal bill of rights. And when you understand your 48 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,879 personal bill of rights, then it helps you to understand 49 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:41,960 how you do not deserve to be missus, abused, or 50 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:47,840 devalued by those that are narcissistic in nature. All right, 51 00:03:47,919 --> 00:03:49,800 So we're gonna have We're gonna talk about a few 52 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,800 things because the knowing your personal bill of rights and 53 00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:57,280 understanding your personal buil of rights helps you to build 54 00:03:57,319 --> 00:04:02,719 that self esteem that you may be barely hanging on 55 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,560 too because of the abuse or the things that may 56 00:04:06,639 --> 00:04:10,199 have happened to you. So we're gonna start off and 57 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,360 we're gonna try to get through all of these. It's 58 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,519 twenty five of these personal bill of rights. Number one, 59 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,439 I have a right to ask for what I want. 60 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:25,120 I have a right to ask for what I want. 61 00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:30,959 Oftentimes in relationships, many people remain silent and do not 62 00:04:31,399 --> 00:04:37,839 express what they need in that relationship, and that relationship 63 00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:42,600 will often suffer if you do not express your needs. Now, 64 00:04:42,639 --> 00:04:46,040 will you get it from a narcissist, no, okay, or 65 00:04:46,079 --> 00:04:48,240 if you get some of it from a narcissist, is 66 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:51,839 because they're gonna have you on a string where they 67 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:56,560 can play a puppeteer and dangle you from that string, 68 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,959 all right, for their own diabolical purposes. But you have 69 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:05,800 a right to ask for what you want in a relationship. Now, 70 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,160 rather you get it or not, that's up to that 71 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:12,079 other individual. But you do have the right to say, 72 00:05:12,319 --> 00:05:15,519 this is what I need, and this is what I 73 00:05:15,639 --> 00:05:19,680 want in this relationship, this is what's gonna make me happy, 74 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,839 and these are the things that don't make me happy 75 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,920 in this relationship. I have a right to ask for 76 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,040 what I want and what I need in this relationship. 77 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,079 Number two, I have the right to say no to 78 00:05:34,199 --> 00:05:40,680 request for demands that I cannot meet. Many people find 79 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:46,000 themselves being people pleasers and bitter for it. They find 80 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:51,879 themselves saying yes, yes, yes to everyone and know to themselves, 81 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:55,240 and even when it's something that's impossible for them to meet, 82 00:05:55,319 --> 00:05:58,639 they're still trying to meet it anyway. And one thing 83 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,360 when you're dealing with norcisis they're gonna place impossible demands 84 00:06:02,399 --> 00:06:06,360 on you that they can ever they can never actually 85 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:10,199 meet themselves, but they expect you to meet it. So 86 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:13,800 you have the right to say no to demands that 87 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:18,040 you cannot meet. If you, for example, you have to 88 00:06:18,079 --> 00:06:20,839 pay your bill, but this narcissist is expecting you to 89 00:06:20,879 --> 00:06:23,759 pay theirs instead, well guess what. You have the right 90 00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:28,000 to say no, I cannot meet that demand, and do 91 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:33,079 not allow anyone to put impossible demands on you. If 92 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:38,600 you cannot meet it, then say no. And also do 93 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,279 not feel this if you have to meet everyone's demands. 94 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:47,639 Their demands is for them, that's not for you. Number three, 95 00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:52,399 I have a right to express all my feelings, positive 96 00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:56,639 and negative. One thing, when you're dealing with narcissists, you 97 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,800 feel like you may have to walk on eggshells because 98 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,439 when you express anything negative for us, the way that 99 00:07:04,439 --> 00:07:07,560 they're treating you, the way that they make you feel, 100 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,040 you're not happy, they're not keeping their word, or whatever 101 00:07:12,079 --> 00:07:15,439 the case may be. When you express those things, then 102 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,879 were gonna talk about this in an upcoming podcast dealing 103 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:23,959 with narcissistic injury. Well, they become what we consider the 104 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,560 bruised ones. The narcissists becomes injured in their own minds, 105 00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:31,519 and so far and therefore they can't handle it. But see, 106 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,920 when you're in a healthy relationship, you're able to express 107 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:41,199 your feelings, both positive and negative, because they are your feelings. 108 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,000 No relationship can be healthy without each person being able 109 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:51,360 to express honestly how they feel. Sometimes it may not 110 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,120 be so positive and sometimes it may be great. But 111 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,839 the thing is you should have the right to express 112 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:02,720 your feelings because they are your feelings. And when you're 113 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,000 in a relationship and you have to walk on eggshells around, 114 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,519 there's narcissist and not be able to express what. I'm 115 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:11,720 not happy with the way you treat me. I'm not 116 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,759 happy with the where you talk to me, I'm not 117 00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:16,480 happy with the things that you're doing. And that person 118 00:08:16,519 --> 00:08:20,279 cannot handle what you're telling them, then that is an 119 00:08:20,439 --> 00:08:28,240 unhealthy relationship. Number four, I have a right to change 120 00:08:28,399 --> 00:08:31,560 my mind. I have a right to change my mind. 121 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,480 Let me just say this. Sometimes things happen and you 122 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:40,720 can always meet what you wanted to do. For example, 123 00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:46,720 I had planned on taking a trip and it was 124 00:08:46,799 --> 00:08:50,480 not and all intentions I wanted to, but it was 125 00:08:50,519 --> 00:08:55,039 not the perfect timing financial wise and with other obligations 126 00:08:55,039 --> 00:08:57,960 that I had that I could take that trip, so 127 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,000 I had to delay it, had to say, you know what, 128 00:09:01,159 --> 00:09:03,240 this is not the year for me to do this, 129 00:09:03,759 --> 00:09:07,919 but I would do it again, do it the following. Okay, 130 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,559 you have a right to change your mind. The thing 131 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,639 is make sure that you express that to that person 132 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,840 instead of acting as if you didn't say anything. Because 133 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,440 this is what a narcissist will do. They will make 134 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,159 a promise and then when you mention that they broke 135 00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:25,759 the promise, they will shift the blame and make it 136 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:30,000 seem like you're the problem when in actuality, they broke 137 00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:33,519 their word. Now, there's nothing wrong with changing your mind, 138 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,720 but make sure that you verbalize that change to the 139 00:09:36,759 --> 00:09:42,919 person that you initially made the agreement with. Let them know, hey, 140 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,919 you know, if something came and I'm not able to 141 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,080 do this and I really wanted to, but this is 142 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:54,720 not the time, and don't feel guilty about it. Number five, 143 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,000 I have the right to make mistakes and do not 144 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,759 have to be perfect. When you're dealing with narcissists, they 145 00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:04,720 would bring up all your mistakes, all right, when you 146 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,919 did this, and you did that, and you didn't do this, 147 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,399 and you didn't do that, because they want to use 148 00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:14,720 that as a way of guilty shaming, manipulating and controlling you. 149 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,919 And guess what, We all make mistakes. The narcissists make 150 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,120 plenty of mistakes that they never own up too, all right, 151 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:28,759 intentional or otherwise, However, we all make mistakes. Do not 152 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:33,679 allow someone to make you feel bad because you make mistakes. 153 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:38,000 We all make mistakes. And on the difference is is 154 00:10:38,039 --> 00:10:42,480 that most people, normal people admitted, whereas the narcissists will 155 00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,840 never look in that mirror that they're showing to everyone 156 00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:49,000 else with the flashlight. They would never put that flashlight 157 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,919 in that mirror on themselves. They can see everything that's 158 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,639 wrong with everybody else. You know, when you think about 159 00:10:55,639 --> 00:10:59,960 a narcissist, they're like TSA, Okay, they go through the machine. 160 00:11:00,279 --> 00:11:03,120 So they got you going through the machine, X ray 161 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,559 in everything on your person, okay, on your body, all right, 162 00:11:07,639 --> 00:11:10,519 But they would never walk through the machine themselves. Why 163 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:14,919 because they can't handle it. It bruises their ego, all right. 164 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:19,639 So you have the right to make mistakes. You do 165 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,000 not have to be perfect. And what I mean by 166 00:11:22,039 --> 00:11:25,879 that is for those of us who are Christians, we 167 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,840 know that we're only made perfect through Christ. It's not 168 00:11:28,919 --> 00:11:32,519 within our own self. We're only made perfect through Christ. 169 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,039 But you know, the Word of God also lets us 170 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,960 know that a righteous man falls seven times but gets 171 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,960 back up again. So that means that we're going to 172 00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:43,720 make mistakes. If we weren't gonna make mistakes, Jesus would 173 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,639 never have had to die and come on across for 174 00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:50,120 our and die for our sins. But we all make mistakes. 175 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,840 Number six, I have the right to follow my own 176 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,159 values and beliefs. One thing that narcissists do is they 177 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:04,799 try to force their opinions, their beliefs, their system of 178 00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:09,240 twisted thinking on to everybody else. But you have the 179 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,159 right to set up for your values and beliefs. Now, 180 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,559 for me, I'm a Christian and I stand up for 181 00:12:15,639 --> 00:12:19,200 my values as a Christian, all right. But one thing 182 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:22,240 that narcissists do, they will try to twist even that. 183 00:12:22,799 --> 00:12:25,200 All right, you have religious narcissist and we're gonna be 184 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,679 talking about that in the upcoming podcast. These spiritual narcissists 185 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,840 that are actually spiritual demons trying to devalue you in 186 00:12:32,879 --> 00:12:36,799 your relationship with God. You have the right to your 187 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,279 own values, You have the right to your own beliefs, 188 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:44,519 and the Narcissists try to make you second guess your values, 189 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,200 second guess your beliefs. And I'm not talking about anything 190 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,960 that goes against God, Okay, I'm talking about this is 191 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:55,120 for their own selfish, diabolical purposes. They're twisted, manipulative tools 192 00:12:55,360 --> 00:13:00,600 in order to gain power and control over You're seven. 193 00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,879 I have the right to say no to anything if 194 00:13:03,919 --> 00:13:07,000 I if I feel that I am not ready, it 195 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,960 is unsafe, or if it conflicts with my values. And 196 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,799 this goes back to what we talked about earlier. You 197 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,240 have the right to say no. You know what. Open 198 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,639 up a dictionary. You know most people don't have dictionaries 199 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:22,399 these days, but I still do. But open up a 200 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,919 physical dictionary and put your picture next to the world no, 201 00:13:26,279 --> 00:13:28,240 and say I have the right to say no. You 202 00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:30,759 can do this mentally. Put this you put your face 203 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,399 next to it and say, I have the right to 204 00:13:32,519 --> 00:13:35,679 say no if it's something that I do not feel 205 00:13:35,799 --> 00:13:40,200 comfortable with, if it's something that makes me feel unsafe, 206 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:46,240 if it's something that goes against my beliefs, my values. 207 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,600 Sometimes you have to say no to them and yes 208 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:57,120 to you. Number eight and then we're gonna take a break. 209 00:13:57,759 --> 00:14:01,279 I have the right to determine my own priorities. My 210 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,759 own priorities one thing. When you're dealing about with toxic narcissists, 211 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:10,200 they want you to always prioritize them and never prioritize yourself. 212 00:14:10,879 --> 00:14:14,120 And so many times you might feel as this codependent 213 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,720 because we're gonna talk about codependency. When you feel like 214 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,480 I have to please everybody else, I have to do 215 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,320 for everybody else, I have to say yes to everybody 216 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:26,080 else and put myself on the back burner, that tends 217 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:31,559 to cause burnout. No, you sometimes have to prioritize you. 218 00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:34,200 That means I have to do self care. When I 219 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,960 prioritize me, that means I'm giving myself self care. That 220 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:43,799 means that I'm showing myself some love. Okay, because when 221 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:48,000 you're dealing with people pleasers, they oftentimes don't love themselves 222 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,320 because they're so busy trying to love everybody else and 223 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,919 please everybody else and do everything for everybody else and 224 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,960 be everything to everybody else, that they put themselves last 225 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,600 and never place themselves first. And this is not selfishness. 226 00:14:59,759 --> 00:15:04,480 This is saying that sometimes I have to prioritize myself 227 00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:08,120 if I don't get my own self care. Then I'm 228 00:15:08,159 --> 00:15:12,120 no good to anyone else. But the narcissist will make 229 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,559 you feel guilty for prioritizing yourself, your needs, and the 230 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,440 things that matters to you, while they do it all 231 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,200 the time. Because everything about the nariss is about me, me, me, 232 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:27,279 I I endever about you or we, There's nothing wrong 233 00:15:27,799 --> 00:15:32,720 with prioritizing your needs. We're gonna take a quick break 234 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,559 and we'll be back in just a moment. 235 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:53,159 Speaker 3: We need to come. Love can outlast to night. We 236 00:15:53,279 --> 00:15:58,960 need to come love. We'll need to find. 237 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:00,879 Speaker 4: My going. 238 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,919 Speaker 3: It's to film my strength thoty. 239 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:08,159 Speaker 4: In of a seal, showing my fight the ver before 240 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,679 the spattle from my heart. 241 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,879 Speaker 1: You took off from the start. 242 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 4: You are the peace while my mind's w You know 243 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:26,399 you will never start fighting for me. We're not caring 244 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:32,559 for for laceer. My be word is promised, keep. 245 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: Cause you love me, lying old body. 246 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:40,519 Speaker 4: If you stand up for me, you're the darkest night 247 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:46,559 when my faith is a week you're slama side. You 248 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:51,440 will never start fighting from me. You will. 249 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 5: And the perfect time, Ma. 250 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: You make of things around. 251 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 6: Look Tennason line. 252 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:10,599 Speaker 4: In this heart of mine, where the going. 253 00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 1: Is the firm, I t's not in. I see you 254 00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:17,519 showing up like never before. 255 00:17:18,519 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 4: Spatter from my head. 256 00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: You took them from the stone. 257 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 4: You're the peace where the lines a work. You are 258 00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:32,640 never star fighting for me. 259 00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:41,039 Speaker 7: Were my grapied from myself. Everyone is a promise you 260 00:17:41,279 --> 00:17:45,400 can't cause you let me hide nobody. 261 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:50,559 Speaker 6: You stand up from me in the darkest night, when 262 00:17:50,799 --> 00:17:52,279 my faith in the week. 263 00:17:52,559 --> 00:17:58,160 Speaker 4: You're still by my side. You're all never starf fading 264 00:17:58,359 --> 00:17:58,680 for me. 265 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: You will never start dining from me. 266 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 4: It's winning me over. I go, it's going me. 267 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 1: You shut. 268 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:22,400 Speaker 6: It's winning me over. It's bring me closer. You will 269 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:28,000 love stuff, fight it for me, fight it for me. 270 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,319 Speaker 1: Heavy word. 271 00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 4: It is a promise you keep anywhere is the promise 272 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:56,640 you keeps because you love me like it. Nobady, you 273 00:18:56,839 --> 00:18:59,680 stand up for me in the dock. 274 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 1: And that's Riley Clemens fighting for me. All right. So 275 00:19:19,839 --> 00:19:23,839 we're back and we're talking about that those personal bill 276 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:29,400 of rights that you are entitled to because of your 277 00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:33,640 unique self that the Lord has made Number nine. I 278 00:19:33,759 --> 00:19:37,039 have the right not to be responsible for the actions, feelings, 279 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,920 or behaviors of others. And what we're talking about here, 280 00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:44,640 this is not saying that I'm not unempathetic or not 281 00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:48,160 sympathetic towards others because that is how the narcissist is. 282 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,440 But the narcissists will make you feel like that their 283 00:19:51,519 --> 00:19:55,839 happiness depends upon you, that their feelings depends upon you, 284 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,359 that their behavior is a result of you. No, you 285 00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:02,039 are not re responsible for the way that they act, feel, 286 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:05,519 or think or behave. I have the right not to 287 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:10,759 be responsible for their actions. That means that I have 288 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,839 to be responsible for what I do, for how I feel, 289 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,240 and for how I behave, and so does the narcissists. 290 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:22,799 They are responsible for their own actions, for their feelings, 291 00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:27,240 and for their behavior. But when you're dealing with the narcissists, 292 00:20:27,279 --> 00:20:31,000 they tend to shift the blame to everyone else except 293 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:35,279 for back at themselves. Number ten, I have the right 294 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:39,839 to expect honesty from others. If you're dealing with the liar, 295 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,359 then there is no such thing as a healthy relationship. 296 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:48,400 And narcissists are not honest with themselves, let alone other people. 297 00:20:49,559 --> 00:20:53,640 And another way that they are dishonest is when they 298 00:20:53,759 --> 00:20:57,359 try to gas like you to make you doubt your reality. 299 00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:01,160 That is a form of lying. It's a form of dishonesty. 300 00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:03,839 They know that they've done something, but then they will 301 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,799 gaslight you to make you think, oh, it's because of 302 00:21:07,079 --> 00:21:10,039 you that they did whatever they did, and instead of 303 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:15,319 them taking responsibility, they lie. Not taking responsibility for your 304 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:20,720 actions means that you are a liar. Making someone else 305 00:21:20,799 --> 00:21:22,799 feel that they did something wrong when you know it 306 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:27,799 was you means you are a liar, and narcissists never 307 00:21:27,839 --> 00:21:33,039 take responsibility for their own actions. Number eleven. I have 308 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,519 the right to be angry at someone I love. Yes, 309 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,359 you do. The Bible lets us know be angry, but 310 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,480 sin not. That means that I have the right to 311 00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:46,839 get upset if someone does something wrong, if someone does 312 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,119 something to me, if the narcissist does something to me, yell, scream, 313 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,200 devalue me, what misuse me, abuse me, whatever the case 314 00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,799 may be, I have the right to be angry about it. 315 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,920 But the thing is is to not let it call 316 00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:04,519 you to be better. You can be angry at something 317 00:22:04,599 --> 00:22:07,319 that someone does, but do not allow it to make 318 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,200 you sin. That means that I'm not gonna hold a 319 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,839 grudge in my heart. I'm not gonna be better in 320 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,039 my heart, but I'm gonna know who you are because 321 00:22:14,079 --> 00:22:16,279 when you show me who you are, I'm gonna believe you. 322 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,880 So I don't have to accept that. I don't have 323 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:28,200 to accept how you treat misused, abuse, manipulate me. Number twelve. 324 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,759 I have the right to be myself, to be unique. 325 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,599 One thing. When you're dealing with toxic individuals and narcissistic, 326 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,240 controlling people, they want to change you into their own 327 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,640 personal image. And you are not them. You are who 328 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,839 God made you to be. They will always try to 329 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,400 compare you to someone else. Guess what, I am not 330 00:22:48,599 --> 00:22:51,160 this person. I am not that person. I am who 331 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:55,839 God made me. Everyone is unique in their own way 332 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,599 because God didn't make us two of the same. It 333 00:22:58,759 --> 00:23:01,480 even twins, even though they may look the same, they 334 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:07,160 have something different about them. Number thirteen. I have the 335 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:11,839 right to express fear, and what that means is that 336 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,319 they're there. Let me put like this, you put a 337 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:19,400 python in my face, I'm about to run. Okay. I 338 00:23:19,519 --> 00:23:24,880 don't do snakes, all right, I don't do bugs. There's 339 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,039 just certain things that you will find me take off. Okay, 340 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,759 It's just certain things I'm not gonna deal with, all right. 341 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,359 I am afraid of snakes all right. 342 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:36,559 Speaker 4: Now. 343 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 1: In the word of God. It says that God did 344 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,319 not give us the spirit of fear above love, power 345 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,480 and a sound mind. All right, so we be we're 346 00:23:44,599 --> 00:23:48,920 to be fearful of maybe things that can harm you. Okay, 347 00:23:49,279 --> 00:23:51,079 So I have the right to be afraid of something 348 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,519 that can harm me, but I'm not gonna allow fear 349 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:56,680 to overcome me. That's what that scripture means, all right. 350 00:23:57,519 --> 00:24:01,519 So basically, so basically, I have the right to express fear. 351 00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:04,440 One thing that the narcissists cannot do is they cannot 352 00:24:04,559 --> 00:24:09,319 handle when you express emotion. Okay, They're not empathetic creatures. 353 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,759 And when they do express some empathy, it is not 354 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:21,960 because it is genuine. They are unempathetic people. They can mimic, alright, 355 00:24:22,039 --> 00:24:28,559 they mimic, but they do not have empathy. Alright. Number fourteen, 356 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,720 I have the right to say I don't know guess what, 357 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,400 because we know how their answers to everything. And sometimes 358 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,359 people feel like, oh, well you should know this. And 359 00:24:40,039 --> 00:24:43,759 I'll be the first to say, despite all the education 360 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,920 that I've been blessed to have, I don't know everything. 361 00:24:48,079 --> 00:24:52,440 No one knows everything. Okay. I am not Solomon. I'm 362 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,359 not the wisest woman in the world or whatever. Consulvement 363 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,720 was a man, but I'm not the wisest woman in 364 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:02,920 the world. Wisdom comes from God and knowledge comes from 365 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,839 him as well, when He gives us the wisdom to 366 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,599 know how to use the knowledge that we obtain. But 367 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,480 guess what, even then, I don't know everything. There's not 368 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:17,240 one person except for God who knows everything. So you 369 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,039 have the right to say I don't know. When it's 370 00:25:20,079 --> 00:25:22,359 something that someone asks me, I will tell you you 371 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,000 know what, I don't know, but let me go look 372 00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:28,400 it up. I will try to find out Number fifteen. 373 00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:31,920 I have the right not to give excuses or reasons 374 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,200 for my behavior. And what does this mean. This does 375 00:25:35,279 --> 00:25:37,400 not mean that you can ack them up and then 376 00:25:37,839 --> 00:25:40,079 just oh, I don't have no answer for it, like 377 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,279 the narcissist. No, what this is saying is if I 378 00:25:43,559 --> 00:25:47,559 choose to For example, sometimes I may not pick up 379 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,880 my phone. Do I have the answer to anyone because 380 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,039 I don't pick up my phone? No, I don't. This 381 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,640 is my house. I pay the bill, I pay the 382 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,000 cell phone bill, I pay the house, mortgage and everything else. 383 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,759 If I do not want to pick up my phone, 384 00:26:00,799 --> 00:26:06,400 I will not pick up my phone because that's my right. Okay, 385 00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:09,160 I don't have to give an excuse for it. I 386 00:26:09,279 --> 00:26:12,039 do not have to let anyone know. Now this is 387 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,640 for me because I'm single, all right, so I don't 388 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,319 have anyone that I have to answer to except for God. Now, 389 00:26:18,319 --> 00:26:21,839 if you're married and that that's a different story. Okay, 390 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,240 you need to take that other person into consideration. But 391 00:26:25,559 --> 00:26:27,480 I do not have to give excuses or reasons from 392 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,240 my behavior. Sometimes people want you to do something you 393 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:31,839 just want. The only thing you have to do is 394 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,920 just say no, No, this is not something I want 395 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,440 to do. They go into uh prime, Well, why don't 396 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,400 you want it? You do not have to give an explanation. 397 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,160 It's just something I do not want to do. 398 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 4: No. 399 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,160 Speaker 1: Do not allow anyone to back you into a corner 400 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,079 to give an explanation. If you do something you don't 401 00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,000 want to do. As an adult, you have the right 402 00:26:49,079 --> 00:26:53,880 to say no. Number sixteen. I have the right to 403 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,920 make decisions based on my feelings. That means that if 404 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,920 I don't feel that something is it's for me, then 405 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,359 I can say no to that. I have the right 406 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:08,200 to say no. People pleaser. If you know your people pleaser, 407 00:27:08,319 --> 00:27:13,839 please learn the art of saying no. There are times 408 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,880 when you need to say no and you can't please 409 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:23,519 every one, so be comfortable with being able to say no. 410 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:28,039 Number seventeen. I have the right to my own personal 411 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,880 space and time. I give an example. I don't like 412 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:37,920 people calling me after seven really, I say eight o'clock, 413 00:27:38,079 --> 00:27:41,039 eight o'clock. I really don't like people calling me after 414 00:27:41,079 --> 00:27:44,720 eight o'clock. Okay, I'm winding down. This is you know, 415 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,200 it's in the evening time and the winter time, it's 416 00:27:47,319 --> 00:27:49,720 night time, it is dark. But I really don't like 417 00:27:49,759 --> 00:27:51,839 anybody calling me after eight o'clock. That's just one of 418 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,160 my pet peas or whatever. And then if somebody does 419 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,279 call me after that time, it depends on who it is. 420 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,119 If it's in my family, I pick up. Okay. Everybody 421 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,400 else is gonna go the voicemail unless you're a close 422 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,160 friend or whatever. But I really don't like to talk 423 00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:11,640 late at night. That's my wind down time. I'm winding down. 424 00:28:12,319 --> 00:28:16,799 I'm getting ready for you know, for bed. I don't 425 00:28:16,839 --> 00:28:20,079 want to be on a long conversation at night. I 426 00:28:20,319 --> 00:28:25,240 just know no, And that's just me. That's my personal space, 427 00:28:25,799 --> 00:28:29,279 that's my personal time. I'm also the type of person 428 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,440 that I don't want you just showing up on my doorstep, 429 00:28:31,519 --> 00:28:33,200 unless your family. I don't want you just showing up 430 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,839 on my doorstep. Please call in advance to let me 431 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,519 know that you're in the facility, and I can decide 432 00:28:38,559 --> 00:28:43,920 whether I want to entertain or not. That's my personal space, 433 00:28:44,359 --> 00:28:47,799 that's my personal time at the end of the day. Basically, 434 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,720 you need boundaries. You need boundaries, and there's nothing wrong 435 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:59,119 with having boundaries. We all need boundaries. Number eighteen. I 436 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,279 have the right to be playful. One thing that narcissists 437 00:29:02,279 --> 00:29:07,799 oftentimes can't stand is somebody being happy if they're in 438 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,559 a little stink. They want you to be in this 439 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,640 thing too. But I will tell you the joy of 440 00:29:12,759 --> 00:29:15,759 the Lord is my strength. That means that I have 441 00:29:15,839 --> 00:29:18,240 the right to be happy. I have the right to 442 00:29:18,319 --> 00:29:21,680 be playful. I have the right to just have joy, 443 00:29:23,559 --> 00:29:28,319 unspeakable joy. Number nineteen. I have the right to be 444 00:29:28,519 --> 00:29:31,680 healthier than those around me. What does that mean? That mean? 445 00:29:31,759 --> 00:29:34,160 That's not saying that I'm trying to be better than somebody. 446 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,920 That means that, you know, what, if I feel like 447 00:29:38,039 --> 00:29:42,200 that I need to be on a particular lifestyle, whether 448 00:29:42,279 --> 00:29:47,680 it's plant based or rather a vegetarian, or rather I 449 00:29:47,839 --> 00:29:50,319 eat meat or whatever works best for me. If I 450 00:29:50,359 --> 00:29:53,519 don't want sodas, or if I don't want sugar or whatever, 451 00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:55,880 if I want to go to the gym, you have 452 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,519 that right to be healthy. Because the thing is is 453 00:29:59,599 --> 00:30:03,680 that me loves company, and sometimes people want you to 454 00:30:03,839 --> 00:30:06,200 be just as miserable as they are, even if they're 455 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,039 not feeling all the way healthy or good. If you 456 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,680 decide to take a turn and be healthy, then they 457 00:30:11,759 --> 00:30:14,640 have a problem with it. But you have the right 458 00:30:14,799 --> 00:30:20,000 to be healthy. Number twenty. I have the right to 459 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,759 feel safe and be in a non abusive environment. And 460 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:29,799 this is so important for you to understand. You have 461 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,319 the right not to be abused. And there's someone where 462 00:30:33,359 --> 00:30:40,000 they're abusing you physically, verbally, spiritually, whatever they're trying to do, 463 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,599 you have the right to not be in that environment. 464 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,599 You have the right to not be manipulated and controlled. 465 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,279 These are your personal bill of rights, and you have 466 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,480 the right to say no to anything that makes you 467 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:04,839 feel uncom the unsafe not good about you. We're gonna 468 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:09,400 take another quick break and we'll be back in just 469 00:31:09,559 --> 00:31:10,079 a moment. 470 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 4: MMM. 471 00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:32,319 Speaker 1: I pray you in my heartless breaking didn't. 472 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 8: A love still, and Maigan thought I run out of 473 00:31:37,279 --> 00:31:42,680 sacking chance, But grace showed up. 474 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: An your grandsons, you don't just love me, remind. 475 00:31:47,319 --> 00:31:48,039 Speaker 8: Me his way. 476 00:31:49,519 --> 00:31:53,839 Speaker 5: You hope me close the way only having can you 477 00:31:54,119 --> 00:31:58,599 speak like into my feet every time you ripe. 478 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:03,039 Speaker 1: But to you and all this love ain't lack of faith. 479 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:04,720 It's holy ground. 480 00:32:05,319 --> 00:32:06,240 Speaker 3: We are a faith. 481 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 1: He said, you rob, and I was losing faith. Now 482 00:32:12,079 --> 00:32:14,640 every prince, come your. 483 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 5: Face, your macid calm it proof the gods doll has 484 00:32:23,039 --> 00:32:24,079 love story is too. 485 00:32:25,039 --> 00:32:34,279 Speaker 1: He sen you decent, oh, he saying, we don't need perfect, 486 00:32:34,519 --> 00:32:35,960 we need grace. 487 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:40,519 Speaker 5: We learn to love the heavens face through every stone, 488 00:32:40,799 --> 00:32:46,160 through every tis you and I still find ust. You 489 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:53,880 pray with me, nious for me. There's the kind of 490 00:32:54,440 --> 00:33:02,079 therecess me face will know this so solid crown well 491 00:33:02,279 --> 00:33:04,680 faith and love of profound. 492 00:33:05,279 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 1: When life gets hard, still believe. 493 00:33:08,559 --> 00:33:09,839 Speaker 4: No one gud starts. 494 00:33:10,039 --> 00:33:10,920 Speaker 3: He wins. 495 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:21,119 Speaker 1: When I forgot to dream of the bucket, he is speace. 496 00:33:22,599 --> 00:33:28,079 You're myser call have improved. Then he is time. It 497 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:34,960 is always true, he says. Yes, he says. 498 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:49,559 Speaker 4: He is, I. 499 00:33:59,599 --> 00:34:08,440 Speaker 1: Think and that is he sent you. I don't know 500 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:12,599 who that's by But there's a beautiful, beautiful song, all right. 501 00:34:12,639 --> 00:34:18,920 All right, So we have gone through twenty bill of 502 00:34:19,079 --> 00:34:22,559 rights that you are entitled to. Twenty one. I have 503 00:34:22,679 --> 00:34:26,079 the right to make friends and be comfortable around people. 504 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,639 The narcissist tries to isolate you from other people. They 505 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,079 and that's someone that does that is insecure and they 506 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,480 are abusive, all right, and it's not again. Abuse is 507 00:34:38,559 --> 00:34:43,280 not always physical. Abuse is in many different forms. But 508 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,440 the thing is, you have the right to be around 509 00:34:45,519 --> 00:34:48,920 people who love you, who value you, who will not 510 00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:54,639 mistreat you or abuse you. And therefore, the narcissists can't 511 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,559 stand for you to be with people who support you. 512 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:01,599 They will make you feel bad just because you have friends. 513 00:35:02,119 --> 00:35:06,119 And there's nothing wrong with having friends. There's nothing wrong 514 00:35:06,159 --> 00:35:09,400 with having people that will love and accept you for you. 515 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,880 Number twenty two, I have the right to change and grow. 516 00:35:15,519 --> 00:35:19,840 One thing that some abusers, and many of them are narcissists, 517 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,440 do is they expect you. They're in like a time 518 00:35:22,559 --> 00:35:25,719 machine where they stay stuck. All right, you will find 519 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,519 that you could be sixty years old, now go back 520 00:35:28,559 --> 00:35:33,719 to something you did at twelve years old. Okay, But 521 00:35:34,039 --> 00:35:36,880 we all grow and we and we change. At least 522 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,519 we should grow and change for the better, all right, 523 00:35:41,119 --> 00:35:45,840 So most the average normal person changes and grows. 524 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:46,360 Speaker 2: You know, with. 525 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:53,639 Speaker 1: Growth, we have maturity, and therefore we it produces often 526 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,440 changes in our lives. I'm not the same person that 527 00:35:56,519 --> 00:35:58,880 I was when I was eighteen. I'm not the same 528 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,079 person I was when I was thirty, all right, with 529 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,360 the maturity. As we get older, we should develop more, 530 00:36:06,519 --> 00:36:12,280 we should grow more, especially spiritually. In God number twenty three, 531 00:36:12,679 --> 00:36:15,280 I have the right to have my wants and needs 532 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:20,320 respected by others. That means that whatever I want, whatever 533 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,679 I need, you know that that is something that should 534 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:27,519 be respected. That means you have to let people know 535 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,440 what your boundaries are, and if they can't respect those boundaries, 536 00:36:31,519 --> 00:36:35,199 then they do not come within your space. You have 537 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,280 the right to say no to them coming in your space. 538 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,039 You don't have You don't have to allow everyone to 539 00:36:42,159 --> 00:36:46,719 have access to you. Everyone does not need to have 540 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:52,079 access to you, because when you're dealing with someone that's abusive. 541 00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:55,519 And we're gonna talk about forgiveness and the upcoming podcast too, 542 00:36:55,599 --> 00:36:57,400 because just because I forgive you don't mean that I 543 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,159 have to allow you to have access to me. I 544 00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,679 can forgive you from the distance, but I don't have 545 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,559 to allow you to have access to me when your 546 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,400 behavior has not changed. The only way that you can 547 00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:16,639 have true reconciliation, and this is from He's deceased now. 548 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,719 But Pastor Miles, we don't have to have true reconciliation. 549 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,039 That means that there has to be the person that 550 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:28,599 is the guilty party within that dynamic. Is has to 551 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:33,719 have a change, repentance and change. Because without repentance and change, 552 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,880 there can be no true reconciliation. The only thing you 553 00:37:37,039 --> 00:37:42,599 find yourself doing is going back into a toxic situation, 554 00:37:44,119 --> 00:37:49,840 an unhealthy relationship, without there being any true repentance and 555 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,800 any true change. And the thing is, even with God. 556 00:37:53,199 --> 00:37:57,760 Even with God, he requires us to be truly repentant. 557 00:37:58,079 --> 00:38:00,400 That means that when I repent, that that means that 558 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,280 I'm going to change. You know, the Bible says that 559 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,559 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just 560 00:38:04,639 --> 00:38:07,920 to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 561 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,239 That means that I acknowledge that I did something wrong 562 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:16,280 and it's not gonna happen again. So without any true repentance, 563 00:38:17,119 --> 00:38:19,719 that means that there would be no change, and without 564 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:23,480 any change, that means that my desires and my wants 565 00:38:23,519 --> 00:38:27,199 would not be respected by that other person. So therefore 566 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,960 they feel that they have the permission to impede upon 567 00:38:30,119 --> 00:38:37,320 you again without any change. Number where we're at, number 568 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,079 twenty four. I have the right to be treated with 569 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:44,760 dignity and respect. That means that you do not have 570 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,880 to take someone yelling at you, screaming at you, calling 571 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,039 you out your name, throwing up your past, throwing up 572 00:38:51,119 --> 00:38:53,440 the history, or whatever the case may be. These these 573 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,199 are things that narcissists love to do. They feel that 574 00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:01,719 they can disrespect everyone else except for or themselves. Wanting 575 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,599 to receive the respect, but they don't want to give 576 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,920 the respect. You do not have to allow anyone to 577 00:39:10,039 --> 00:39:12,639 do that. The choice is up to you. We teach 578 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,199 people by We teach people how to treat us by 579 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,800 what we allow them to do to us. Last, but 580 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:24,920 not least, I have the right to be happy. And 581 00:39:25,039 --> 00:39:27,360 sometimes you just gotta kick people out your life, you know, 582 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,960 let them go, Let them go. If they want to 583 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:35,920 be toxic, let them go, or either at least go 584 00:39:36,159 --> 00:39:39,800 low contact. Sometimes you have to go low contact if 585 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,480 you have no choice, but to some and sometimes be 586 00:39:45,119 --> 00:39:48,559 involved with this person, then go low contact. That means 587 00:39:48,599 --> 00:39:50,159 that I'm not gonna call you every day, I'm not 588 00:39:50,199 --> 00:39:51,719 gonna tach to you every day. I'm gonna go as 589 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,119 low contact as I possibly can because that's the only 590 00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:56,960 way that I can have peace of mind and be happy. 591 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,760 And for those who need to go totally no contact, 592 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:07,199 then do so without feeling guilt because in order for 593 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,480 a relationship to work, it takes two people working at it, 594 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,159 and you don't want to be on this roller coaster 595 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,440 where it is. When we talked about the cycle of abuse, 596 00:40:16,519 --> 00:40:20,400 because it is a cycle, and trust me when I 597 00:40:20,519 --> 00:40:25,719 say that it will come back around. You might think 598 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:31,039 you if this person has not truly repented, truly changed, 599 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,159 truly gotten the help that they need, the cycle of 600 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:39,960 abuse will go round and round. All right, We are 601 00:40:40,199 --> 00:40:43,039 up out of here at pray to today's podcast has 602 00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:47,079 been a blessing to you and that you will know 603 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:51,400 that your feelings they do matter. This is doctor Ko 604 00:40:51,639 --> 00:41:08,559 Rinch Until next times. The Experiences. 605 00:41:10,039 --> 00:41:12,840 Speaker 4: A schools 606 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:40,119 Speaker 8: TOSSTSSSSSSSSST Communists pass