Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering Dungeon Crawler Carl Book four Gait of the Federal Gods,
chapters twenty nine, thirty and thirty one. In these chapters,
we get evidence of how a couple of shitty people
can ruin things for everybody. It's not that they're the
majority necessarily, but if you are willing to be shitty
at the expense of everybody else, you can really really.
Speaker 2: Fuck shit up.
Speaker 1: Who knew?
Speaker 2: Welcome to spoil Me.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you
very much to Michael for commissioning this episode. Michael, are
you here in the chat today? He's almost always here,
but I don't see him today, but hopefully he'll be
joining us. Yeah.
Speaker 3: This was This was like kind of a bummer section.
It really was.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, the whole idea of there are
more good people than there are terrible people. I believe,
I really do, genuinely and in my heart. But what
sucks so bad is that if just one person decides
that they don't care or that they can get something
out of it, it's enough, you know, it's enough to
ruin it for everybody else. Michael is here, Hi, Michael,
and our zoo is here. Hello, Hello, Hello, delighted to
see all of you. Yeah, I just really hate anytime
that you've got like a crew of people who were
working together and then one asshole. It's not that it's
unrealistic at all. It's just such it's such a sad reality,
you know. Michael says, I assume we're talking about trying
to kill the adorable giant puppy, and it's like, not
just kill the puppy, but also what is his name, chen?
I can't remember, but he says something about how like
and if I managed to kill Donut as well, that'll
just be a bonus, and quan, that's what it is,
thank you, Michael. The fact that like he's thinking, oh,
I would like to kill her because she talks smack
about me, which like, yes she did. First of all,
it was deserved. You are a coward who swoops in
and fucks things up for other people and then sails
away into the night and suffers no consequences personally because
you have this particular armor that makes it so that
nobody can touch you whatever. So she was right to
call you a piece of shit.
Speaker 3: But let's set aside that.
Speaker 1: Let's sit aside that and.
Speaker 3: Say that she was wrong.
Speaker 1: You really want to killer, really that that's what you
feel like you should do when there's like you versus aliens.
You just there's a point at the end of this
group of chapters where Carl is about to yell at
him like they are the enemy. You are losing sight
of who the enemy is, and Carl just winds up
yelling at him that he's a bully in the way
that he yelled at his dad. And it was just
it was so like frustrating because on the one hand,
Carl is thinking to himself, he's not the enemy, and
he has another voice in his head that's saying like, yeah,
he is. And I can't help but feel like after
a certain point, whether or not they are technically part
of the group that originally is the enemy, if they
are aligning themselves enough with the interests of that group,
then they be become part of that group. In practice,
it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: So, yeah, they're a.
Speaker 1: Human who has been exploited and has been put in
the same position as you technically, and that's all fair.
And you can have compassion for somebody in that respect.
But having compassion isn't necessarily the same thing as like
letting them get away with it or being soft in
the way that you handle consequences. You know, those are
not necessarily the same thing at all. And so in
my head, he has crossed over from being a human
being to being part of the enemy because he hasn't
got any humanity. He's not showing humanity for anybody else.
If you don't feel like you need to be part
of the human group working together, you don't align yourself
with your humanity anymore, and you have forfeited any benefits thereof.
You know, that's just my opinion, and I feel about
this same way regarding a lot of things. Of just like,
there comes a point where you can't argue, how, but
we're all people and we should all work together. If
you haven't been treating other people like they are also people,
you can't suddenly say how you're a person because evidently
you don't see yourself as being the same as those people.
So if you are deciding those folks don't count only
these kinds of people that I say are people are people,
I say, well, then you're not people because you've decided
that only certain people count, and so I guess I
get to also, and you don't count anyway. This whole thing,
it was just such a sad like you know, Seraphim
says he tried to kill a puppy. He is an
enemy of all things. Michael says, to be fair, the
AI really juiced the rewards for killing the puppy. I'd
be very, very tempted to kill a puppy for a
million bucks. Can't agree, Michael. Look, if that is something
that would tempt you, so be it. But you couldn't
waterboard that out of me. I would not, ever, not
for a million dollars, No Surrey, it wouldn't even be
a question, not even a second, especially considering it's not
just the puppy, it's other people. You know, You've got
a whole crew of people depending on keeping this puppy
alive to survive. That is despicable in my eyes, Like
there is no redeeming that whatsoever.
Speaker 2: It's just so.
Speaker 1: Overwhelmed, mainly douchey, that it makes me really wonder about
Quan's viewing, like how he is seen by the audience,
because you know how it is guys in any like
reality show, there always has to be the narrative of
like a particular person being an asshole, even sometimes it's
like manufactured, it's not real. But there always has to
be a person who's the heel in any show, and
it's so interesting to like find out sometimes after the
fact that like maybe the person we all thought was
the heel wasn't. And then there are times where you
find out like they were actually worse that the show
edited out some of the ways that they were terrible
because it was so like offensive sometimes that they knew
they'd have kind of lost part of their audience, so
they just leave that out. For me Quan being as
much of an asshole, it's certain that like there would
be there are always in any fandom people who are
fucking contrarians, and so everybody being like this person sucks,
they suck for all these reasons, there will inevitably be
like a backlash where everybody's like, actually, they don't suck,
and they come up with the most convoluted bullshit. This
is something that happened with like Malfoy in Harry Potter.
There's a whole contingent of people that defends Malfoy and
tries to make him into this like complete victim, and
like he was a victim in some senses, but they
like re wrote a lot of things in order to
take a stance that feels edgy in the fandom. So
I have no doubt that Kwan has like his own
coterie of shitty people who love all of his garbage
maneuvering because he he's a survivor. He's an opportunist, and
that is a very effective way to play this game,
you know, And I'm sure it's pretty entertaining as well.
So I could see them wanting to preserve him just
for the entertainment factor and the way that he manages
to like trigger other players into doing bonker shit because
he's so fucking annoying. But I I want to see
a contingent of people that are like so against him
that they begin to throw in behind Carl, just because
the whole way that Carl has been presented obviously in
large part to undermine him as a person, because they
are trying to invalidate his very valid complaints about the
way that they are treated. So the show has edited
him to look like a truly unhinged psychopath. But maybe
if people detest.
Speaker 3: Quan enough.
Speaker 1: Even if they believe that Carl's a psychopath, maybe they
would actually help Carl out just to take down Quan.
And I don't really even know what that looks like necessarily,
you know, But I'm.
Speaker 3: Just saying that.
Speaker 1: I'm really curious now that we've got access to the
conversations around the social media. I'm curious to see if
what the chatter is regarding these two and how people
see them, because, like I said, I want it to
be sort of like universally everybody is like an agreement
that Quan sucks. But I know that's not That's just
not what the internet is like. So how would that work?
But let's back it up.
Speaker 3: Let's back it up.
Speaker 1: I started at the end twenty nine. I checked the
boss map. I could see that quotes of Kotlas was
bouncing around the lower part of the temple. There were
no other bosses down there. In fact, it appeared the
earlier flooding had killed just about everything. I had no
idea if Chris was safe, or even if he was
still in his spot. I don't see the dog on
the map, I said, as we exited the pub. Maybe
it wasn't very Oh fuck me, I hadn't noticed the
dog on the map because the orange star took up
the entirety of my overlay and the mini map had
helpfully dimmed it. For me, that's one of those moments
where you know you'd like zoom out and zoom out,
and you still haven't found the edges, and you're just like,
oh God, and and I love the fact that this
you know, what we find out because I was concerned
about this.
Speaker 3: Guys, I'm not even gonna lie to you.
Speaker 1: What we find out is because he's a puppy, going
into the nothing just doesn't affect him and doesn't make
him go crazy. So he comes out of the nothing
as sweet and pure as he went in, which I
was so relieved. I can't tell you all how I
was not looking forward to seeing a puppy that had
been corrupted by the nothing. I didn't want it. I
just didn't want to see it. So when we get
news that like, oh, actually he's fine, that didn't do anything. Oh,
the breath of relief that I breathed, and yeah, he
is precious and adorable, and it's like I should have
realized I was sort of not trusting when the sex
doll who's got what's her name, Samith Samet says something
about how like, he's so cute, he's a really good boy.
I was like, okay, but you're not quite all there,
so I don't really know how much I should trust
you saying that he's a good boy. Your judgment isn't
what I would, you know what I mean. So a
part of me was sort of like, is she saying
that because he's actually incredibly fucked up and it's just
meant to be like humor, you know. No, it turns
out that she's got the exact same standards for what
a very cute and good boy puppy is that I have,
which I find a little bit like simultaneously reassuring and
also unnerving, I guess. And as we're all just like,
oh my god, he's so cute, donut, this thing is
just revolting. Also, it's a wolf, which is even worse.
At least regular dogs get baths every now and then.
It's wet and it smells. I dont understand why anyone
would want one of these things in their home. One
of his two heads is chewing on the side of
the bowl. The other is looking at the ceiling and
drooling and whining at the same time. The bowl is
literally filling up with drool. Carl, you know how I
feel about drool. This is like a nightmare, disgusting. I
think we should kill it and put us both out
of our misery. I should have foreseen that she was
just gonna be like, fuck this fucking dog, but uh,
I didn't really think it through, to be perfectly honest.
And yeah, it is indeed two headed because it is
a sibling of Cerberus, as it turns out, and uh,
we get a description of him bereft pet of gay
run and the universe's good as boy was originally destined
to a fate like that of his brother. But before
the two headed Orthris could get turned into a vicious
baby eating none defiling murder machine, he met with some
bad luck.
Speaker 3: First his master was murdered.
Speaker 1: And then he got sucked into the nothing, all on
the same day. And I don't know about the nun defiling.
Is this the thing that Cerberus did? I'm sure that,
like there's a horrible story in there somewhere, but I
just don't wanna. Yeah, how is the size of something
the size of the goddamn bubble? Only level ten? Will
he die if I punch him in the leg, you'd
probably get some awesome achievement for that, Gwen said, I
think that's the point. Katcha said. They make the pubby fragile.
So he dies, and then this embras god gets extra angry,
and they're looking at like the storm that's coming and
thinking like, oh my god, the lightning might hurt it somehow,
and they're trying to figure out exactly how this is
going to happen. The moment I thought about, let's see,
if the lightning killed the dog, we'd simply have to
deal with Grandpa. At least the quadrant would be done.
But the moment I thought that, I knew I was
kidding myself. Embrus wasn't doing anything to us directly. He
was doing it to other crawlers. That was by design.
They knew it was something that would get my hackles up.
It was bait, obvious bait. It was the same goddamn
bait Heckle had used to get me to go.
Speaker 3: Along with her.
Speaker 1: It had been a trap then, and it was a
trap now. I thought of Lucia Marr sobbing on the recap.
I hadn't seen the episode, but it was clear they'd
done something deliberate to torture her. She was their most
popular stream and they were milking it for the drama.
That's exactly what they were doing here too. And I
remain convinced that, like Lucia, Mar's family has been somehow
involved in things.
Speaker 3: I don't know even what.
Speaker 1: I mean by that, but the way that she has
been behaving, that there's something weird that nobody else can
see that is making it look like she's crazy, and
I don't think she is, and I think they are discrediting.
Speaker 3: Her, like.
Speaker 1: Your girl is not okay. You know, I'm not trying
to pretend she's okay, but I don't necessarily think that's
just the way she is. So new quest where the
Red God Glows the Joke about the Red Fern Grows.
This is a group quest. All crawlers currently within Bubble
number five forty three WI will receive this quest. Your
party has been designated host of this group quest. No
parties may opt out of this quest. Did you ever
read book where the Red Fern Grows and talks about
how dogs always die In the end, Puppies shouldn't ever
share a world with pain? Yet here we are, thanks
Earth Culture and you guys. As somebody who has had
to watch puppies die, I can't agree enough with the statement.
It's the worst thing in the entire world, and I
hated it so much, and I don't think I'll ever
be fully over it. Orthris is getting shot in the
ass by constant barrage of lightning and getting bitten over
and over in the ankles by a bunch of tenacious sharks.
It's starting to hurt. Poor little guy. His health is
going down. His death will be the fault of all
of you, especially Crawler Carl, who callously shoved the poor
puppy into a bubble much too small and much too
dangerous for him. If Orthris dies, the full powered god
Embriss will return to this bubble, will turn this bubble
into a kiln. If the puppy survives and escapes the sharks,
oh it's a pretty good You'll die anyway, but at
least you'll die knowing you shed this world without ever
causing harm to a defenseless puppy. Except Crawler Maggie. My
she once ran over a baby Labrador with her Chevy tahoe.
What a bitch, you guys, I want to know about that,
like so much. Was it like the labrador of somebody
she disliked? Did the dog do something? Was it her
own labrador but she didn't want it anymore? Or you
know what I mean? Like what exactly? Nothing about this
would justify it and make me go, oh, that's okay.
Then I'm just curious for the details, just because like
the idea of purposely, I mean, I just can't, absolutely
cannot you guys see that I am a person who
took in a litter of puppies that my neighbors abandoned
even though I had no money, and I fundraised and
also went into bankruptcy for them, and I would do
it again. So there's just like this is unthinkable, And
I just am so curious about this because, like what
our zoo says, I assumed car accident. Our zoo, you
are a lot more generous than I am, because Maggie
seems like she sucks, she really sucks, And I am
assuming that this happened like purposely because she sucks. But
I might be wrong, you know, I maybe it just
sounds like I don't know, it sounds like what it
sounds like because the AI wants it to sound that way.
I can't trust the AI, I have to acknowledge this.
But I also feel like Maggie my was started off
this whole thing already being a kind of unbalanced person
who made highly questionable choices in my eyes, so I
just wouldn't put it past her because of the overall
personality I was seeing in the first place. So let's see.
The quest notification popped up on the side of my interface.
As we pushed through the remains of what had once
been a group of walls, I realized the Quest chat
suddenly gave me an opportunity I didn't have before. It
was a special chat room that only appeared during group quests,
and it included everyone in the bubble. I pulled it up.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw the list.
It listed all of us from the Air Quadrant, Gwen's team, Brittany,
and the tomb Raider guys. But amongst the tomb Raiders
there were only three left. It was Low Thigh, the
d bag Geek, Morris the Spider Guy, and Bobby the
trap Finder. All three had possessed after their name, but
there were also two more names at the bottom of
the list, separated Maggie May and Chris Andrews. Two after
Chris's name, it said enslaved Doughnut, who had already discovered
the chat, was absolutely ripping into Maggie May, who hadn't
yet answered. And just because you killed the dog doesn't
make up for what you did to Chris. Brandon died
thinking his brother was mad at him, and that was
your fault. You're the worst person who's ever lived. And
I've known some really bad people. I once knew a
lady who used to make a himallean cat named Peanuts
splendid peanuts splendid flavor, eat nothing but a weird diet
with no meat. And then Peanut got really sick and
she got alopecia, and another lady talked to her daughter
into selling a perfectly beautiful and loyal cat after she
won Grand Champion, just so they could put her in
a cage and have babies with her own uncle, who
was really scary and mean, and make a profit off it.
And you're worse than all of them combined. Frank got
really sad and was done being a murderer, and he
gave Carl the ring. But you came along and just
made Chris kill him. And now Chris is Bann from
the Desperado Club.
Speaker 3: That's just awful.
Speaker 1: He's probably never going to dance again. Miss Beatrice used
to dance with me when we were both sad, and
it always made it a little better. And you just
took that away. I I don't even know where to begin.
First of all, peanuts splendid flavor is such a weird name,
and making it eat like there is nothing Guys, come
at me all you want. There is nothing that makes
me as crazy as people putting their animals on vegan
or vegetarian diets. It is so asinine to me, It
is so asinine. I am also not somebody who is like,
you know, dogs should only eat meat, no grains because
they're predator. No dogs should have grains. It's been proven
repeatedly that like a grain free diet is actually bad
for their hearts. But I mean, it's no less foolish
to me than the other end of the spectrum of
having them have no meat. You just what are you doing?
And then the other one being about Bee's mom and
she I'm seeing now that the way that she's like
putting it in her head to make it so that
she's not as angry at Bee is that she's having
it that Bee's mom talked her into it, rather than
it be Bee's decision herself. So she's sort of having
Bee's mother be like the Lady Macbeth in this situation,
you know. So anyway, this whole thing is very funny.
And even though the fact that she's like, I know
that you think killing a dog makes me like you,
but only a little like girl. Anyway, Chris, So you
guys still trapped in that room, We're out. We went
down a long ladder and disconnected a wire in the water,
and then we attract a group of crawlers and killed one.
Now we're moving back up to the top. Don't know
if she reads this chat.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no.
Speaker 1: Lothi he killed Tyler. We were moving down and he
came out of nowhere and ripped him in half. We ran,
but we tripped a trap, and now we're all possessed
by ghosts. Morris, we're not even together anymore. We're wandering aimlessly.
Janie walked straight into one of those crushes and she exploded. Bobby,
I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm done.
Speaker 2: I'm done.
Speaker 1: This is too much. This is too much, Carl. Can
you move your hand, scratch it against the wall. If
you damage yourself, I think the ghost.
Speaker 3: Will leave your body.
Speaker 1: I regretted posting that the moment I hit Scent it
was a mistake.
Speaker 3: But what else can I do?
Speaker 1: There was only one way I could possibly know how
to get rid of being possessed. And he says something
about like to himself later, or no, he says to
them later, like when I broke my finger to get
away from a charm spell. It like gave me the
idea for this, and it says it was a lame,
desperate excuse, and it didn't explain how I knew they
still had control of their left hands. There was a
whole chapter in the cookbook that dealt with circumventing de buffs.
Hopefully no one would question my unusual knowledge. They will,
they will, they will. I'm really curious what conclusion they
are going to jump to, because like the way that
this anarchists book works is already kind of bananas. It's
basically the AI allowing something that it knows full well
the creators of this game would be against. And I'm
really curious if they found out about it. Would there
be a way to circumvent something like this for another season?
Would they be able to like program the AI so
that this wasn't possible next time? You know what I'm saying?
And exactly what mechanic keeps the people in charge from
being able to see the book in his inventory? You know?
Why is it that this can even be hidden from them?
I have so many questions about this, and I'm so
I'm just so curious about I mean, obviously, every season
it seems like somebody has been given this somehow, and
I just don't I don't know, you, guys, I want
to know more about who created this book in the
first place, How did they make something like this and
put in place the mechanics for it to be hidden
for it to work. Who's or was originally capable of
building a thing that is so powerful and so hideable.
I'm desperately curious about it. I have so many questions. Yeah,
I just I really, I really really want to know.
So anyway, sorry, Saraphrum says, yeah, they but they seem
to be assuming that he's getting info from someone outside
the dungeon somehow. Yeah. Yeah, and that's like That's my
question is who are they going to zero win on,
because I feel like it's gotta be that they will
think it's Zev. But I also have been assuming that
they're keeping a closer eye on Zev after everything that's
gone down with.
Speaker 3: Her, So.
Speaker 1: I would think that Zev would be pretty easy to
disprove that she had anything to do with it. So
then who And he hasn't been on O Death's show
or had like any like contact with her. The only
other person I could think of is like Mordecai and Mordecai.
Clearly it like the chat between Karl and Mordecai is visible,
and wait, I guess that's not. So maybe he could
say he found out from Mordecai. Maybe that's maybe that's
an out where he could say, like, Mordecai told me
in chat because the chap, well, maybe it's just an
invisible between Donut and Mordecai because he's her manager. I
don't know if it's invisible between Carl and Mordecai, if
that's also protected, So that might be an out where
you could like, if it is protected chat, you could
just be like, oh, yeah, Mordecai told me. It's no
big deal, you know, but I don't remember if Mordecai
is chat with Karl is protected or if it's only
donuts sorry. Are Zu says it works via Carl's escape
planed skill. If you don't have the skill, you see
a normal book, right, But like who did that? You
know what I'm saying? Like who built it for that
to work? Saraphim says, I think in the AI's case,
it's simply that there isn't a rule saying it's an
illegal item. Doesn't matter what the fleshy dumb dumbs want,
only what the rules say. Michael says, Mordecai is allowed
to help them. Though, well, yeah, that's my point, Sir
Fran says, or it's someone so good at this they
can hide their tracks. That seems to be what the
investigator thought after the fish bomb. True, Michael says, the
chat is only protected from the audience, not the showrunners,
right right, Okay, so he can't use Mordecai as an excuse.
I am. I I love that he told them to
be clear, guys, as much as I want to be
mad at Carl for like giving away the fact that
he knows more than he should It's difficult for me
to be mad when it was such a simple thing
that solves the problem, you know, But I acknowledged that
this is not a smart move. It's just satisfying for
me in the short term. And I'm sure later I'm
gonna be like, oh, brother, why did you do this? Sorry,
I'm trying to find this the bit here, Chris, I'm sorry,
we don't have much time. I'm sorry we didn't listen before.
I promise, will Chris unimportant. We're back atop the temple.
Maggie is cheating, she has outside help. Capt Chris has
been muted from chat, and I'm super curious about this.
Was Chris muted by Maggie who was stopping him, or
was Chris muted by the showrunners because they know, good
goddamn well that she's cheating and they don't care, or
you know, or that somebody in power is the one
that's helping her cheat and they're just like, yeah, that's fine,
he pays us whatever. I'm assuming assuming in the moment
that it was Maggie that managed to stop him, But
there is a part of me that is like kind
of thinking it might be I don't know, it might
be that.
Speaker 3: They did it.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, this, this whole thing is so.
Speaker 3: Messy.
Speaker 1: And when he says a cap, I'm thinking captain as
here's the thing, and this doesn't really help me in
the short run figure this out. But I have to
sort of ask myself what kind of writer is Matt Tenneman.
Is this a cap? Is this written this way to
put me on the wrong track? And that there's another
way to say this thing that would be more immediately obvious.
But he's using cap as the start, like he's using
a word that starts with that to mislead me, or
is it later I'm going to find out who it
is and it's going to be very obvious, That's what
he was trying to say. I tend towards the latter.
There are some writers that I think would really prioritize
the reveal and wanting to fool you over everything. I
don't really feel like he tends toward prioritizing.
Speaker 3: That over the story itself.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to give him the benefit of the
doubt and say, I think, actually, this is like probably
the exact word that one would use. Oh interesting, our
Zeus says, my money is on the showrunners muting him.
Michael says, I assumed it was the showrunners and they
just didn't want the cheating to be exposed so blatantly
to the audience. Sarahim says it was a mod muting him.
But it's not clear if this is some overall the
showrunners as a whole, or just one of them abusing
their power for their own reasons. That's so interesting that
I assumed it was Maggie, and you guys all assumed
that it was the showrunners because I went to the
show runners initially and then I backtracked and decided it
was Maggie. And I just think it's funny that we
all just like are in such different places about this.
It's I think that my question about this is like,
because Chris wasn't able to chat freely before. Obviously he
wasn't able to talk to Carl at all, because he
wasn't Carl had never fist bumped him. But now it
seems like he's able to chat much more freely than
he had been. And I'm not really clear on why
he is suddenly able to when it seemed like Maggie
was managing to keep him quiet before. So I think
that's why I assumed it was her stopping him was
like she was somehow managing to reassert her control over
him that she had had previously. And I just don't
even know how that works exactly. So this isn't based
on much of anything.
Speaker 3: It's just sort of.
Speaker 1: Seraphim says. She wouldn't have the power to do that.
She could only keep him quiet while in control of
his body. I thought she was still in control of
his body.
Speaker 3: Is she not?
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that she did. We learn that they
got split apart from each other. I don't remember this.
I'm confused now.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: I'll let you guys get your messages out and I'll
move on for now. So let's see Morris it worked.
I'm free lo Thig me too, Carl Good And this
is when he does his explanation. Lewis favors, I'm gonna
need you guys get out there into the twister. Doughnut
meet them at the house. Hurry, and Lewis says, in
this storm, and Fara says, are you drunk? And Doughnut says,
are you trying to get me killed? And then he
messages the tomb Raider guys the side ladder. I know
where that is. An entrance isn't far. We cleared it before,
but it just leads to a weird electrical panel that
didn't do anything no matter how it was connected. But
it's still submerged. You can't get to the crypt from there.
Believe me, we tried. Look, guys, this is Carl. We
need that connected. I'm pretty sure that's the last piece,
but it'll be dangerous the moment it's hooked up, the
lightning strike is going to zap Everyone's still underwater in
the tomb. You'll have to get out of the water
as quickly as you can. Morris, It's like a mile
down a ladder, but I can use my silk ability
to get to the water level quickly. Bobby is still possessed.
Low is too far away. It looks like it's me.
I can be at the connector in five minutes. But
last time we went down there at Kutzel Kotla started
screaming and moving toward us. Gwen vaulted over a pazuzu,
twisting in the air. Her spear flashed as I caught
a face full of bloody sand. And they have a
fight here. I don't I cast heel critter and at work.
I can't believe it. The health is still going down.
The stupid dog doesn't even appreciate it. A huge chunk
of rocks slammed into the beach nearby Morris. Bobby is gone.
Oh god, I think he was crushed. Carl, stay on mission, Morris,
almost there, Lothigh, it's chasing me. I have it distracted?
Do it?
Speaker 3: Warning?
Speaker 1: This message is from a deceased crawler. Morris, It's connected.
I did it going back up. Warning, this message is
from a deceased crawler. This sucks, guys, it really does.
I think. I am so I'm so sad about this,
Like it's necessary Carl's playing, Like, you know, there comes
a point when you are going to be in charge
of people doing deadly shit where somebody's just gonna die.
That's the nature of it. But God, what a thing
to live with, you know. And I'd like, there's no
doubt of the fact that the reason that Carl was
able to risk them the way that he was so
easily is in large percase, he just doesn't know them
very well, you know, And that's just always going to
be a factor.
Speaker 3: Whether we like to really admit it, or not.
Speaker 1: Oh, Michael says, she can't mute people in a chat room.
She could only deny him initial access to the standard chat.
The group chat seems to be a special version that
she couldn't block him from. Seraphim says, oh wait, we're
talking about two different occasions. He was muted before when
when she was explicitly not in control. This would just
be more of the same. But didn't she say that? Okay,
I must not be understand because like there was a
point where she said that she also took damage for
going into the chat. So I'm confused about how all
this works. I guess, guys, maybe certain things have changed
at this point, but I don't. It doesn't matter, it
doesn't matter whatever. So the Guardian of Answers Tomb has
been successfully destroyed. The Subterranean Quadrant has been liberated. All
give congratulations to the crawlers who successfully liberated the Throne Room.
All Hail crawlers Gwendolen, Duet Lothigh, and morrissp. All crawlers
who originated in the Subterranean Quadrant may now freely travel
to other quadrants. Oh wait, they're all dead. Bubble notification
all four quadrants have been successfully liberated. Congratulations, And then
it says Bubble number five forty three has been popped.
All four stairwells are now open. See that wasn't so hard,
all that whining and dying. It was a bit dramatic.
Don't you think I really hate the AI at points
like this, I really do.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: Saraphim says the took damage thing was just an excuse
she came up to explain, never using it. Oh, okay,
I was not picking up on that. I thought that
it was like her being in control of him meant
that if he were able to get into the chat,
she would take damage because she had lost control over
him somehow. If you get what I mean, Razu says,
I think Saraphim means when they petrified him. Uh. I
don't know even what you're talking about now, RZI, Sorry,
I've lost I've us track of the conversation. Michael says,
this whole bubble seemed to have been screwed the moment
those underground crawlers didn't get the map. It really seems
like the underground section needed to be done first to
save the most lives, which kind of makes sense when
you stop and think about just like working from the
bottom up. I like, there's no necessarily reason to believe
that's how it should work. If I were coming into
this bubble, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion myself. But
when you stop and consider the structure of things, that
does make some sense. So uh oh, Arzu says she
couldn't control his chat when they were petrified. Michael says,
we know it was a lie because Bomo and Sledge
were using the chat.
Speaker 3: No problem with Donut.
Speaker 1: I just assumed that he was a different type, like
he was a rock type, but not the same exact model,
if that makes sense. She couldn't control his chat when
they were petrified, but it seems like she can't control
his chat now. So I don't understand you guys. I'm sorry.
I keep saying I'm gonna let it go, and then
you guys keep saying things that confuse me further and
are making me feel like I'm like, I as soon
as I think, okay, I'll let it go because I
get it enough, I'm like, nope, never mind. There's there's
a whole other factor here that I wasn't considering. Arazu
was saying, this is a special chat. Yeah, So that's
basically it is simply that this chat not being a
normal crawler to crawler chat means that he can chat
freely when he can't ordinarily, right, That's it. It's as
simple as that. But she can stop him from getting
into regular chats normally. Right. I'm not wrong about that,
am I. So let's see, we're gonna have to fix
the net. Can't keep it stable in these new crosswinds.
Don't have a choice. Come to me. Stay behind the
dog so he doesn't see you. Maggie is loose and
up on the bowl somewhere.
Speaker 3: I don't want you near there.
Speaker 1: And let's see. Tell Ellie to wait until this dog
quest is done. Then we start with the rescues. If
every pharaoh god we summon also summons a real god,
it's going to get crowded out there. I looked up
at the whimpering dog. We weren't directly under it anymore,
but I still couldn't see it very well in the darkness.
I reread the winning condition of the quest. He had
to survive the lightning storm and escape the sharks. The
problem was, despite the bubble being popped, the dog wasn't
making any moves to leave the water. The fire God
didn't seem to be aware he was here. I had
no idea what was outside the bubble. Was it like
a bottomless pit? Probably not, it was too dark to see.
We jogged up to house as it landed Lewis and
for us, we're crawling over it like a pair of
worker ants. I moved my eyes to the attached garage.
Do you still have that meat hook scroll we got
on the third floor? And then we open chapter thirty
with the entry from one of the crawlers about working
with this goddess and how there are certain benefits, but
if you don't like check in often enough, you wind
up getting de buffs and you can leave the fate
the faith. But it comes with this like smite that's automatic,
and that the God can send you messages and it
will just like never shut the fuck up. The last
note I got was you need to say I'm the
prettiest goddess out loud. I finally told him to fuck off,
But now the tat is swearing at.
Speaker 3: Me and my messages.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they have any real power over me,
unless you somehow gets summoned or I get smoked and
then I'm going to leave the faith and then jump
down the stairs. Maybe that'll save me. Note added by
krawla Asen. This is St. John's last entry. A person
in my party was smoked by his God and it
made his blindness debuff permanence. Stay the fuck away from
God's which you know, the fact that this chapter is
starting off with this, I'm just like, oh, boy, Carl's
about to worship a god like you don't do this
and then not have that be where he winds up.
So I'm gonna have to like obviously speed up my
coverage here a little bit, because I am only a
few minutes away from having to wrap about a little
over ten minutes, and I am just getting into the
second of these three chapters. But nevertheless, uh, Carl, hey,
is that fire god, dude? Still melting your world? Surrenderlgore
Jesus Christ, Yes, okay, on our way to help. I
hope Lewis get this thing on the ground. Right after
we take off, I looked over at donut first. Make
sure we don't, you know, go swimming. She cast her
towards spell and somehow plastered the light to the underside
of the top wing, so it lit up the interior
of both our cockpits, solving an issue I hadn't even
realized we had. I gave Katcha a thumbs up and
I pushed the throttle. We dropped like a rock, but
flying into the wind like that kept us from going
into a full nose dive. And he's figuring out just
exactly how all of the controls for this works, like.
Speaker 3: On the job.
Speaker 1: I was surprised that, because, like, I know about how
some of these controls work, just from like flight simulator
games that were very popular in the nineties. Let's see
the We could finally see the twin crowns of the
enormous dog. They were like the heads of wolf puppies,
but with larger ears. The ears on the right head
were both perked up, and on the left one was
up and one was down. A massive tongue lolled out
of the left head with the floppy ears. Jesus, that
damn thing is adorable. I just really enjoyed the constant
reminder that, like, nobody is immune to how cute this
puppy is, even the people that are killing it.
Speaker 3: Probably, you know.
Speaker 1: So I finally realized that if I put a dot
in the middle of the weird spinning gyroscope. That meant
the plane was completely level. We approached the back of
the dog perilously close. Casting. Now the whole creature glowed
as its health zoomed up about fifty percent. Donut cast
a second time, just as we rocketed out of range. Okay,
you ready, I called. We'd received this square of meat hooks.
Way back on the third floor. A city elf had
used the same scroll to lure Mongo away from us
and into an alleyway. We thankfully didn't have to be
nearly as close to cast this one. The problem was
once it was cast, the dog's attention would suddenly be
fully on us. I hoped we could move fast enough.
And this meat hook's attracts pets, and it stinks, and
they are not prepared for it to stink as bad
as it does.
Speaker 2: Let's see.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm going to vomit all over again.
Why did I have to cast a spell? I don't
know how this ever attracted Mongo? Is it following? It's
looking at us? Go faster. I'm going as fast as
I can.
Speaker 3: I called.
Speaker 1: A mighty thrashing noise filled the world behind us as
the puppy pulled itself off the top of the necropolis
and slammed down into the ocean on its back. I
looked over to see the creature as it howled in indignation.
Paus waved in the air, water splashed in every direction.
The puppy twisted as it turned to face us. The
dog yelped as it tipped over the edge of the
bubble and tumbled out. It's out, Donut, cried, We did it.
I'd been half expecting the puppy to plummet away and disappear. Instead,
it fell, landing on a floor that was much closer
than I thought. When the puppies scrambled to its feet,
it was actually taller now than it had been before.
Both heads growled a hap. Both heads howled, sorry, not growled.
A happy tongue continued to loll out of the left head.
It made an oh noise and scrambled after us, awkwardly bounding.
Quest complete where the Red God glows. You removed the
puppy from danger. Hooray for everybody who was involved in
this quest who didn't actually do anything. Shame on you.
The next time you're in mortal danger. I hope you
remember this moment when nobody comes out out of nowhere
to save your ass. At least you all get the
same reward. Reward, you get a new quest, you guys
the way that I like groaned out loud at that moment,
the dumber of the flunkies. All survivors of the previous
group quests are now a party, and why the hell
not all the crawlers in Bubble eighteen are also added
to the quest. Your party has been designated host. And
then it's just basically.
Speaker 3: Keep him alive.
Speaker 1: And it ends with that's too easy. Not a single
crawler in Buble eighteen has died yet. The whole world
has been turned to lava, and they're all still alive.
Let's think on this a minute. Reward, you will receive
a quatnumquest box. She almost said the quest box. And
when he says this is too easy, what he means
is he's going to come back and give a bunch
of other people the quest to try and kill the puppy.
Speaker 3: This was so annoying.
Speaker 1: All living crawlers on the fifth floor will receive this message.
Let's kill it. Any crawlers who kills this puppy before
he reunites with Grandpa will receive the following one million
gold pieces five level up potions, a pet monkey named Jimbo.
Current participants in the number of the Flunkies group quest
are free to kill the puppy if they are sadistic assholes,
but they will not receive their rewards, you know what.
Never mind, they get.
Speaker 3: The prize too.
Speaker 1: And of course Carl is just like fucking fuming over this,
as he should. And suddenly both heads of the puppy
yelped in surprise and pain at the same time. The
sound was so loud and so sudden, I almost jumped
out of my skin. I whip my head around to
look back. The health bar above his twin heads plummeted
down as Orthurst fell away and out of sight. He
started yelping pitifully and loudly in the darkness. You guys,
this is so distressing and sad, Like if you ever
heard a puppy crying, you know how awful this is.
I just hate I hate it. I just I was
able to imagine the sound. He was making way too easily,
and I hated it. Someone else is out there, Donnut yelled,
I saw the blue dot on my map, rocketing through
the darkness high above us, banking back toward the puppy
on roughly the same trajectory as us. You absolute fuck.
I thought he'd flown past the dog and hit it
with some spell and was now circling back to finish
him off.
Speaker 3: I didn't have to see the crawler's description to know
who this was.
Speaker 1: Carl. If someone has quan chin their chat, tell him
to back the fuck off, and they do, and he
replies with it's too good a prize. If I get
that fucking cat in the process, it'd be a bonus.
I sent a quick, frantic message to Mordecai, and he
answered with a word yes. Hit him with a goddamn
magic missile, I yelled.
Speaker 3: And give me that potion.
Speaker 1: Mordecai's special brew donut shot a missile, but she missed.
Speaker 3: By a wide margin.
Speaker 1: At this speed, it was difficult to properly aim and fire.
Orthruss cowering, ears flattened on both sides of his head.
He'd shoved himself way between two bubbles, one popped and
another intact. The popped world was heavily forested. If there'd
been any sort of raised air quadront, it was gone now.
The dog whimpered as he backed away from the approaching kwan.
His health was at twenty percent. Like seriously, like what
kind of monster? You know what I'm saying? I hate
him so much. A magic missile sizzled by my ear
as Donut shot directly at the flying man. The bolt
hit him.
Speaker 3: Square in the back.
Speaker 1: He staggered in the air, but nothing else happened. He
recovered almost immediately. A health bar didn't even appear. A
translucent shield shimmered for just a moment. He looked over
his shoulder at us. He gave a little grin. He's cheating, Karl,
Doughnut yelled, he has a shield. That's not really cheating, Donut.
That's just sort of like the point of the the
way that items work. But also she considers it cheating
that he got one of those like celestial boxes. So
I guess if you were going to say that was
a cheat, then he is cheating.
Speaker 3: I suppose.
Speaker 1: Let's see, don't set your sunglasses so you can see
his heat signature and then empty the gun into him
as he as we pass magic missiles too, And uh,
let's see, Carl, what are you doing? Switch your glasses now.
I yelled as I extended my chista and loaded the
Hobgoblin disco ball quand turned his head to gauge our position,
and I saw his eyes go wide at the sight
of me on the wing. He banked away and flipped
in mid air, left hand glowing as I tossed the ball,
avoiding the propeller by inches. His shield was still intact,
but the disco ball exploded over his chest anyway, knocking
him back. The sticky sand like residue clung to the
outside of the shield like mud. A rainbow of smoke
started to billow from the impact. He waved frantically as
it at it. As the smoke rose, he cast a bolt,
but it flew wide. I hit him. I hit him.
I loaded a fused hoblobber, designated it with my new
remote detonator skill, and tossed it at the growing plume
of pulsing rainbow smoke. Even with my new ability to
toss these things twice as far, I'd waited a hair
too long to throw it. Still, I set it off
right when the ball started to dip. The explosion crackled
through the air twenty feet short of the ever growing plume.
I knew from experience that was plenty close to do
its job. The sizzling and crackling circle of pulsing rainbow
smoke plummeted out of the sky. I couldn't see Kwan himself.
The disco ball remnants were sticky, and they adhered to
his chest and followed him as he fell like a comet.
Did we kill him?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I shouted, so donut. Heals Orthriss and brings it back
up to seventy percent. And let's see, there's a dirrigible
that shows up and shoots harpoons at the dog. You guys,
I just don't know how they do it, Like I
just couldn't do it. The humanoid god finally, Embrus shows up.
The god was massive, but not as big as I
thought he'd be. If he wassized as a regular human,
Orthors would be like a large horse. The god was
leaned against a bubble, pounding on it with a giant fist,
shouting over and over. The bubble wall glowed red, and
we get a description of him as being like fair
when he feels like it, but he doesn't usually feel
like it. He's just like you know, has a bad
temper and can be very easily offended and is pretty unhinged.
Ever since his favorite son was murdered, Embress been acting
even kookier than usual. The dude plucked out his own
eyes in his grief. It was really gross. Let's see
uh A new spell shot from the group. This was
a magic missile, but Arthur's bounded atop a pair of
bubbles and moved out of range. He looked in our
direction and started barking frantically and jumping, and his health
drops back down to two percent, and he goes unconscious
because Kwan is back. He recovers and returns and begins
attacking him again. The goddamned sun God was too busy
shouting to even hear all of this happening a few
miles behind him. I aimed right at the dog, putting
the plane in a shallow dive. I punched the throttle.
I loaded the potion into my shishtra Doughnuts continued to
scream as we dove, so he he shoots this thing out.
The ball hit the puppy at the same moment Kwan attacked.
His health rocketed to the top. It did not wake
him up. That's right, you worthlessened the plane pulled sharply upward.
As I clutched onto the wingbrace. We whipped around like
in a haywire carnival ride.
Speaker 3: So he crawls back inside.
Speaker 1: And they're spinning out of control. It's not awesome. He's
trying not to throw up, Dona is trying to like
straighten the plane out, and they're about to crash into
the side of the puppy. They didn't seem to realize
Orthros was invulnerable for another fifteen seconds. Kwan was going
to kill us before we crashed. I only had one choice.
I went with the nuclear option, and this is when
he decides that he is going to worship Embras a
wall of text appeared, I waved it away. I'll be
interested to see what all of that said, if it's
possible for him to go back and view it later.
He immediately shot the red bolt at the grenade in
an attempt to intercept it. The ball froze in the air,
about fifteen feet in front of him. I had no
idea what the spell was or how it was supposed
to work, but it had stopped the attack in mid air,
and ultimately it made no difference whatsoever. The celestial grenade
had been a sponsor prize to Chris and Maggie from
the Skull Empire, and it was supposed to have been
used to summon a pain god to kill me. Instead,
I used Prince Mestra's gift to save myself. The ball
blinked once, and it seemed to wink out of existence.
Kwan moved to fire his main attack. It didn't matter.
He never got a chance. The grenade was designed to
summon a god. It would be a random god, that is,
unless the person who threw the grenade worshiped a deity.
So Embres appears, and he has a different form than
he did before. He was nothing more than a massive
floating head and shoulders. The god was huge and angry.
His skin is sort of shimmering, smoldering, rocky gray, dotted
with multicolor hot spots, almost like acne. A secondary mouth
screamed on his right cheek, glowing red above this second mouth.
His skin was sunken in and flattened, like an ancient
injury that had healed poorly. His empty eye sockets trailed
smoke and rained blood. The spiraling drop bear hit him
right in the nose and exploded and Karl isn't vulnerable now,
but Doughnut is not. Or Thris, the gods said, his
relief filled voice, flowing into the world. Or Thris, there
you are. I've been looking for you. I was, he
so very worried. The god was supposed to hang around
for sixty seconds.
Speaker 3: He didn't.
Speaker 1: Even before we hit the ground. Arthur's just blinked away.
I twisted, and the god was also gone, leaving a
shimmering wake in the sky. And it says, entering the
land quadrant of the Soulless Prophet, Doughnut is unconscious here
because her the fall has like knocked her out, so
she's at only five percent health, so he has to
use a scroll on her. And then Carl get slammed
by Kwan. He'd sneaked up on me and hit me
with his lightning attack. My vulnerability was still active for
another few seconds, You god damn idiot. I leaped to
my feet, turned toward him, and I charged. The half
ELF's eyes went huge. I punched him straight in the
face with my bare fist and he flew back. A
health bar appeared, You murderous fuck. I'm going to rip
you to pieces, and he does rip a piece off him,
at least, as we see a little bit later that
a knife appeared in Kwan's hand and he stabbed at me.
The knife exploded in his hand just as my invulnerability
ran out, the buff was invisible, I realized. So I
really like the idea that now Kwan thinks Carl has
some sort of in vulnerability, because it'll just make him
a little bit more hesitant to attack Carl. Perhaps I
don't know, you know, if like viewing highlights later will
reveal what was really happening here or what. But uh yeah,
I just the more intimidated he is of Carl overall,
the better I think it is for Carl. Don't you realize,
I said, I was unable to make a coherent sentence
come out. Don't you realize? Don't you realize what you've done?
I was trying to say, you only care about yourself.
You're stronger than all of us, but you don't care.
Think of all the good you could do, Think of
how much better we'd all be if you weren't such
a selfish prick.
Speaker 3: But that's not what came out.
Speaker 1: Don't you realize you're a bully. You're a bully and
nobody likes you. That's why I caught myself. He almost
said that's why mom left to Kwan. Can you imagine
if he had actually said it?
Speaker 3: Oh man, And.
Speaker 1: This is when he grabs Kwan's arm and Quan at
the exact moment that Carl's got a hold of him.
He uses this power to rock it off, which results
in his entire arm coming off in Carl's hands. He
had three rings on his fingers. I am very curious
about what these rings do.
Speaker 3: Real real interested.
Speaker 1: As a penalty for failing the quest, all saved from
we'll only serve monkey soup and salting crackers for a remainder.
Speaker 3: Of this floor.
Speaker 1: Quest complete, you saved a sweet innocent puppy. You've received
a platinum quest box. I still had a whole page
of notifications to read. I was putting it off. You
know what, Carl, I've decided something. I think they're right
about you. I think you're crazy, like not a little
weird crazy, but crazy crazy, straight jacket crazy. I took
the cat into my lap and pulled her to my chest.
She purred heavily into my ear. He's not crazy crazy,
He's just he's just like a little crazy.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't like her saying this to him. I gotta
admit bothered me a little bit. I don't know, man,
I just didn't like it. I do like, however, Kwan
getting his arm ripped off, that's great. I'm assuming that
no heel spelled gets your arm back, So unless he's
got something up his sleeve.
Speaker 3: That was on my purpose, but I stand by it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I uh, I'm interested to see what's in
the platinum questbox.
Speaker 3: What those rings do? I got a lot of questions,
I really do.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, I have to wrap, but thank you
well again for hanging out with me. I appreciate you all,
and until next time to.
Speaker 2: The loom motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: That was an Unspoiled Network podcast.