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<v Speaker 1>Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of

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<v Speaker 1>performance through strong human relations, team building, and goalachieving. This

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<v Speaker 1>is the seven Minute Leadership Podcast with your host Paul Fellavledo.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello everyone, and welcome to the seven Minute Leadership Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>It's episode seven forty three. Today, I want to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about a leadership skill that almost nobody puts on a resume,

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<v Speaker 2>nobody teaches in a college classroom, and yet it may

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<v Speaker 2>determine more leadership outcomes than nearly any other skill. Emotional control,

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<v Speaker 2>not emotional suppression, not pretending you don't care, not becoming

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<v Speaker 2>a robot. Emotional control the ability to feel emotions without

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<v Speaker 2>allowing those emotions to take control of your decision, your communication,

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<v Speaker 2>or your behavior. The reason this topic matters is because

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<v Speaker 2>leadership is an emotional profession. Think about it. Every day,

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<v Speaker 2>you're dealing with people who are stressed, frustrated, angry, disappointed, confused, worried,

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<v Speaker 2>burned out, overwhelmed, or occasionally having the best day of

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<v Speaker 2>their lives, and somehow you're expected to navigate all of

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<v Speaker 2>that while maintaining your own composure. Leadership isn't a test

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<v Speaker 2>of intelligence, It's a test of emotional stability. I've watched

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<v Speaker 2>leaders lose credibility in less than thirty seconds because they

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<v Speaker 2>lost control of their emotions. I've seen brilliant leaders destroy

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<v Speaker 2>trust because they sent one angry email. I've watched managers

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<v Speaker 2>spend years building relationships only to damage them during one

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<v Speaker 2>emotional outburst. The scary part is that most leaders don't

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<v Speaker 2>realize it happened, because emotional reactions feel justified in the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>The employee deserved that, the customer was wrong, the board

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<v Speaker 2>member was unreasonable, the situation was unfair, and maybe all

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<v Speaker 2>of that was true. The problem is that leadership isn't

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<v Speaker 2>measured by what happened to you. Leadership is measured by

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<v Speaker 2>how you respond to what happened to you. One of

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<v Speaker 2>the most important lessons I learned in emergency services is

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<v Speaker 2>that panic is contagious. If the leader panics, everybody panics.

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<v Speaker 2>If the leader loses composure, everyone feels it. If the

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<v Speaker 2>leader becomes emotional, emotional becomes the operating system of the organization,

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<v Speaker 2>and the opposite is also true. Calm spreads, confidence spreads,

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<v Speaker 2>control spreads. Years ago, I had a phrase that I

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<v Speaker 2>heard that's stuck with me. The person who controls the

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<v Speaker 2>emotional temperature of the room often controls the outcome. Think

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<v Speaker 2>about every difficult meeting you've ever attended. There's usually one

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<v Speaker 2>person who raises the temperature. There's usually one person who

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<v Speaker 2>lowers it. The leader's job is rarely to be the

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<v Speaker 2>loudest person. The leader's job is often to be the thermostat,

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<v Speaker 2>not the thermometer. A thermometer reports the temperature. A thermostat

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<v Speaker 2>changes it, and unfortunately, many leaders become emotional thermometers. Someone

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<v Speaker 2>gets angry, they get angry. Someone gets sarcastic. They get sarcastic.

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<v Speaker 2>Someone becomes defensive. They become defensive. They simply mirror whatever

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<v Speaker 2>emotion enters the room, and great leaders do something different.

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<v Speaker 2>They create emotional stability. They become the anchor everyone else

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<v Speaker 2>ties themselves to. Let's talk about something that makes people uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 2>Your emotions are always teaching your employees every single day.

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<v Speaker 2>When you're frustrated, people learn what frustration looks like. When

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<v Speaker 2>you're under pressure, people learn how pressure should be handled.

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<v Speaker 2>When you're criticized, people learn how criticism should be received.

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<v Speaker 2>You're teaching emotional habits, whether you realize it or not.

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<v Speaker 2>That means emotional control is not a personal skill, it's

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<v Speaker 2>a leadership skill, it's a culture skill, it's an organizational skill.

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<v Speaker 2>So here's a practical exercise I want you to try.

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<v Speaker 2>The next time something irritates you at work. Don't immediately respond,

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<v Speaker 2>don't send the email, don't make the phone call, don't

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<v Speaker 2>walk down the hallway, pause, give yourself ten minutes. What's

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<v Speaker 2>fascinating is how often those ten minutes completely change your perspective.

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<v Speaker 2>The emotional brain wants immediate action, the leadership brain wants

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<v Speaker 2>accurate action. Those are not always the same thing. One

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<v Speaker 2>of the biggest mistakes leaders make is confusing urgency with importance.

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<v Speaker 2>An emotional reaction feels urgent, a thoughtful response creates results.

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<v Speaker 2>I once heard a pilot explain that during an emergency,

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<v Speaker 2>the first job isn't solving the problem. The first job

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<v Speaker 2>is controlling yourself, because if you lose control of yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>you're probably not going to solve the problem correctly. Leadership

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<v Speaker 2>works the same way. Before you solve the issue, solve

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<v Speaker 2>yourself before you manage the situation. Manage your emotions before

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<v Speaker 2>you address the conflict, address your mindset. That small shift

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<v Speaker 2>changes everything. Now let's go one level deeper. Emotional control

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<v Speaker 2>isn't about hiding emotions. People can spot fake leadership from

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<v Speaker 2>a mile away. Authenticity matters. What emotional control means is

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<v Speaker 2>understanding the difference between having emotions and becoming your emotions.

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<v Speaker 2>You can be disappointed without becoming destructive. You can be

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<v Speaker 2>frustrated without being hostile. You can be angry without becoming reckless.

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<v Speaker 2>You can be afraid without becoming paralyzed. The emotion isn't

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<v Speaker 2>the problem. The behavior that follows the emotion is what matters.

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<v Speaker 2>This is where many leaders struggle. They believe their emotions

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<v Speaker 2>are giving them permission. They're not. They're giving you information.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a completely different thing emotions or data. Leadership is

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<v Speaker 2>deciding what to do with the data. If your dashboard

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<v Speaker 2>says the engine temperature is high, you don't smash the dashboard.

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<v Speaker 2>Interpret the information, You evaluate the situation, then you make

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<v Speaker 2>a decision. Treat your emotions the same way. Listen to them,

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<v Speaker 2>understand them, evaluate them, and then decide. The leaders who

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<v Speaker 2>rise to the top are rarely the smartest people in

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<v Speaker 2>the room. They are often the most emotionally predictable. People

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<v Speaker 2>know what they're getting, their team trusts them, their employees

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<v Speaker 2>feel safe approaching them. Their customers feel respected, their peers

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<v Speaker 2>feel comfortable collaborating with them. Why because they don't create

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<v Speaker 2>emotional chaos. And here's the final thought I want to

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<v Speaker 2>leave you with. Leadership is not tested when everything is

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<v Speaker 2>going well. Leadership is tested when you're tired, when you're frustrated,

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<v Speaker 2>when you're under pressure, when you're disappointed, when you've been criticized,

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<v Speaker 2>when something didn't go your way. That's where emotional control

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<v Speaker 2>becomes visible. That's where your leadership becomes real. Can be

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<v Speaker 2>composed on a perfect day. The leaders people remember are

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<v Speaker 2>the ones who remain steady during imperfect days. The leader's

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<v Speaker 2>people trust are the ones who remain predictable during unpredictable moments.

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<v Speaker 2>The leader's people follow are the ones who demonstrate emotional

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<v Speaker 2>control when everyone else is losing theirs. So, as you

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<v Speaker 2>move through your week, pay attention to your emotional temperature.

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<v Speaker 2>Notice the moments where frustration, anger, fear, or disappointment show up.

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<v Speaker 2>Then ask yourself a simple question, am I reacting or

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<v Speaker 2>am I leading? Because emotional control is not about being emotionless,

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<v Speaker 2>It's about making sure your emotions work for you instead

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<v Speaker 2>of against you. The leader who masters emotional control gains

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<v Speaker 2>something incredibly value, the ability to lead clearly when everyone

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<v Speaker 2>else is thinking emotionally. This has been the seven Minute

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<v Speaker 2>Leadership Podcast, and I thank you for listening.

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<v Speaker 1>For more Paul fell of Alito Podcasts, visit paulfellowalito dot

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<v Speaker 1>com