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dot com slash softcore History. This week on Softcore History,
we are discussing a medical pioneer of the Middle Ages,
and by that I mean an absolute psycho who loved
doing Frankenstein shit to kids, prisoners, and hoboes. We're talking
about Frederick, the second Holy Roman Emperor during the thirteenth century.
Speaker 2: Welcome to softcore History.
Speaker 3: Welcome into softcore History. I'm your host for the week,
Dan Bridgester, joined as always by Rob Fox.
Speaker 1: What is up? And just Rob just robbed today today
And it's just like only half of me. Really, I
just spent three days murdering myself at my best friend's wedding.
Speaker 3: So you're a little broken, I'm extremely like broken.
Speaker 1: On Sunday, I was like I don't know if I
could fucking drink again. We were at his house watching
the Chiefs game, and I was just.
Speaker 3: Like, maybe questioning your own existence.
Speaker 1: I didn't have time. I was too busy to have
an existential crisis. That's for tonight.
Speaker 3: You have kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or on the plane, even on the plane, I
was just like fucking too dead. And actually I was
really distracted on the plane because that's how down bad
the MLS is. By the way, there's a bunch of
La Galaxy coaches on the plane.
Speaker 3: Just sitting coach.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was Southwest. There's a pro sports team flying Southwest.
Speaker 3: They get to choose their own seats though.
Speaker 1: Yeah he got an aisle seat hopefully, but he was
like he was like on his non Apple tablet again.
Speaker 3: Shit, we forgot the check.
Speaker 1: MLS so bad, Yeah, dude, some of them were not
Group A. Uh yeah, so La Galaxy not even Group
A on the fucking Southwest flight. And but I was like,
I've never ever spied on anyone on my plane before,
but this dude was like doing game manager stuff like
he was like on his tablet, like filling out like
strategy shit and other stuff, and he would get up
and go talk to I think they were.
Speaker 3: Like FIFA though, where it's just the pitch, yes, player's name, yes, yeah, yeah,
I think he was just playing FIFA.
Speaker 1: Or what's the one that's big in Europe Football Manager.
I don't know. There's one where you don't even play
like it's just like Football Manager.
Speaker 3: I think Madden had a version of that with like
head coach. Yeah, Andy Reid's on the cover.
Speaker 1: Actually, there's a baseball version that's really popular called outside
the Park or why would you want that? Out of
the park? Out of the parks? What it's called.
Speaker 3: You're gonna take away all the cool parts of the game.
Speaker 1: You build the roster, you moneyball it and ship you're
Belding's not.
Speaker 3: A fun game. People like it? Oh, nobody likes that.
I'm pretty sure that's why they continued to not make it.
Speaker 1: But they do still make out of the park baseball.
But fair enough anyway.
Speaker 3: I was a middle seat at my last flight to
Oregon on Alaska Airlines. I got to see the northern
lights through a phone.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you had to look out the window,
but somebody's phone was in the way.
Speaker 3: Since I was middle seat, somebody had to put their
phone up and was taking photos and you could see
through that, but you couldn't see through the actual window, right.
Speaker 1: So you really I don't think that counts as sing.
Speaker 3: I don't think so. Through that all, they're still they're
still evasive to me. Yeah, today we're gonna talk about
a man, Pope Gregory the ninth, referred to as the
Antichrist himself. Okay, someone who was personally named by Dante
as belonging in the sixth region of Hell.
Speaker 1: Fuck, yeah, let's go. We haven't talked about Pope's enough recently,
so I'm into this. Not a pope, I know, but
Pope Pope makes an appearance.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we gotta gotta hit the Catholic checkbox.
Speaker 1: Every we do, especially in Spooky month.
Speaker 3: He was controversial from the jump. His father, Holy Roman
Emperor Henry the sixth, doubted that his mother, Constance, at
her advance age, could even get pregnant, let alone produce.
Speaker 1: An air for him. So was she like twenty eight?
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, probably just gotta think.
Speaker 1: Old witch at that point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, decrepit woman twenty nine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just disgusting. H that is funny. If there was
a what they call it, if this was like a
true like although even a geriatric pregnancy is not that old,
Like I think Courtney's current pregnancy might technically be a
geriatric pregnancy. They're just like, you, old, thirty five year
old hag.
Speaker 3: Time to move on to a younger womb.
Speaker 1: How does that even work? They like, look at me,
They're like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: You're just pumping out kids?
Speaker 1: Yeah, put it in a younger one. And I was like,
well I wanted to, But.
Speaker 3: Are you worried about the third kid? It could be
a monster fancy age.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I could be like this, actually,
you might be giving me a preview of what my
third child is.
Speaker 3: Like the Antichrist himself, yeah, fuck with his counsel. They
found a prophecy from Merlin, of all people, Yes, that Merlin.
Speaker 1: The Merlin who what year was this the Renaissance?
Speaker 3: Right, eleven ninety four?
Speaker 1: Okay, so okay, so not before the Renaissance, but Merlin
would have been like six hundred years earlier.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not like he's getting direct yea. Yeah, who's
not even a real person, by the way, Well that's
one theory. He's like kind of based on other like
multiple people. Yeah, kind of like a lot of people
during his time. Like Ragnar is not really one person
for the Vikings, He's based on like three different vikings.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think Gilgamesh is the same way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's most people in the there's there's
kind of like this dark age period where it's just like, oh, yeah,
we're just gonna create stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, have of our own and make it a guy
because people don't want to hear about like nineteen different guys.
Just make it one guy, make it one dude.
Speaker 3: Make them dope something to inspire to be, just somebody
the boys can rally around. Yeah. So they take a
prophecy from Merlin his counsel Henry the sixth, and they
finally accept that the unborn child was destined for greatness.
Speaker 1: Okay, well this is Christ in a way is destined
for greatness.
Speaker 3: So the prince that was promised yeah, right by Merlin.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like something can be both terrible and
great in terms of just like awe inspiring, like wow,
it's a big pile of bones you made, you have
to be great to be terrible. Yeah, there's plenty of
awful humans.
Speaker 3: You don't have to be terrible to be terrible because
but yeah, yeah, yeah, they're not terrible because they're not
really important enough to be terrible. Yeah, like a homeless man.
Speaker 1: On skid row terrible but but not really not great.
He's not terrible though. A couple of sex crimes that
no one will investigate or care about, but like, yeah,
we're not. What do we need like Laddi and paler
shit here h.
Speaker 3: So his mother, Constance had to swear on every bible
in the realm, like literally, yeah, jump through every hoop
to ensure her husband that it was in fact his kid.
She gave birth to Constantine the Great, later known as
Frederick the Second, in the public square in Jesz in
eleven ninety four.
Speaker 1: Even the so she put on a show.
Speaker 3: They had to They had to prove that this old
witch how produced?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I gotta look this up. I
gotta looked this up real quick.
Speaker 3: But they don't have good records for their parents to
be like, oh she was, you know, they have rough estimates.
Speaker 1: Okay, but I want to even know the rough estimate okay,
because I want to know if they were making like
a fifty year old woman get in the public square
in wooden stirrups and just what I want to know.
Speaker 3: Okay, So it's constance of sicily constance of.
Speaker 1: Okay, great she.
Speaker 3: Gives birth in the public square eleven ninety four in
front of the entire kingdom to prove the fact that
this was both her and Henry the sixth kid.
Speaker 1: She's forty. She's forty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, really funny, she's forty, like
this old I'm telling you that it's like a great
grandmother back then. That's why it is. Well, we were
talking about that on one of the other shows. I
can't remember if it was on Patreon or main, but.
Speaker 1: How it was just like this is why. It's just
like if like once the sheen of childhood was of
youth was off of you at like twenty, you just
were beat, just beat. I think that's why they married
fourteen year olds back then.
Speaker 3: Not only beat, but you were kind of a nuisance.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, what are you doing? There's another mouth?
Speaker 3: Defeed, it's like an old dog just pissing all over
the house. Yeah, what are you doing here? Put her down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no songs about beautiful thirty eight year olds
in medieval time, you know.
Speaker 3: Eleven ninety four, No, certainly not. So they have the
kid from the whole kingdom. A year later eleven ninety five,
Henry rushes over to Sicily in a power grab when
the crown becomes available.
Speaker 1: Soon after, he got to claim a bit, right, since
she's from there, he's not, she is? She is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So yeah, once that door is open, and it's like, yeah,
let's get as much power as possible, which the Pope's
not super pumped about because he's like, you know what,
Holy Roman Emperor Cicily, we need two different governments there.
We can't have this man just accumulate all this power.
Speaker 1: And were the Normans there?
Speaker 3: He is, so they are Norman kind of the Normans?
Speaker 1: Are you kind of everywhere? Yeah, that's fair. Yeah.
Speaker 3: He was crowned after his father dies a few years later. Uh,
and the toddler son of the Holy Roman e Birn
Sicily is crowned at three.
Speaker 1: So love that.
Speaker 3: Frederick the Second takes power at.
Speaker 1: Three as a young tyke. The Antichrist gets power at three.
Speaker 4: H It's all for you, Frederick the second it's all
for you, but his mother quickly gives up his titles
in Germany a year later, seeing the right on on
the wall that the Pope did not like.
Speaker 3: The idea of such a young kid having this much territory.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 3: He preferred two different government bodies to limit the power
of each roller because again, at the end of the day,
Pope's in charge.
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, no one can be You can't be bigger
than the Pope. And at this point, yeah, there really
is no like dominant, like craz easy strong power in Europe.
The closest it's certainly not a Catholic one, like the
Franks and Holy Roman Empire are probably the two biggest,
and then really probably the most powerful country in Europe
would still be the Eastern Roman Empire, but they're not Catholic.
So and by the way, I was looking it up
because I wanted to double check. But this is right
after the episode we did on the Pope who hated
the second Amendment Innocent the second, Yeah, who said you
couldn't use right because that was all about sicily.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because we're gonna be talking about innocent the third.
Oh sweet, let's go his mentor. Uh, Frederick's yeah, all right,
so we'll get into that. So he's crowing to three,
gives up territory to Germany. Still, you know, he's gonna
be the ruler of Sicily one day. But his mother,
Mama Bear, becomes Queen Regent of Sicily and gives the
papal state power over the region as well. She's like,
all right, I'm gonna rule in his stead until he
becomes of age. But also, you know, here you go, Pope,
this is your territory now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but great tidings. Do you pop an island? I
give you an island. He'll totally give it back, dude.
Speaker 3: Not fully trusting his mom, his uncle invade Sicily in
twelve hundred, yeah, and kidnaps young Constantine and thus begins
Freddy the Seconds origin story.
Speaker 1: So do we get an explanation on why the name switches.
Speaker 3: From Constantine and Frederick. Yeah, that's when he takes crown.
He just takes the name for oh, okay, okaykay. He's
born Constantine because his mother is Constance.
Speaker 1: Okay, so he gives them He just runs around the castle.
They probably call him his friends call him Connie, but
he officially legally Frederick.
Speaker 3: His legal king name is Frederick A. Stops Frederick second. Yeah, Constantine, Yeah,
you know his his day ones call him Constant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Connie, Connie, look at the host of Connie.
Speaker 3: He was raised in the royal courts of Palermo, taught
five different languages, and Pope and since the third became
Constantine's legal guardian and the lad became the Pope's protege.
Speaker 1: I'll just leave all the molestation jokes on the cutting
room floor.
Speaker 3: Back then, you think it was kind of like that.
Speaker 1: Yes, still yes, although I do think they probably fucked women.
Speaker 3: More back I think they had more of an infinity
for women. Yeah, pope's just had like what.
Speaker 1: Popes in particular were probably the kids chicks. Yeah, I'm
just saying it's an easy layup. The king of priests
adopts a young boy, like you know, it is what
it is. But yeah, popes were banging.
Speaker 3: You know, he's gonna ship and kind of form the
future for him, for the pope.
Speaker 1: You want you, you want the kid who is basically
going to be your muscle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so like you gotta be able to control him.
You're gonna be the puppet master. Yeah, he's gonna be upfront.
He's gonna do anything you tell me to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So at twelve eleven, at the Diet of Normberg, backed
by Innocent the Third, already the Second was elected King
of Germany over Otto of Brunswick and crowned in twelve twelve.
Speaker 1: Bang.
Speaker 3: Innocent the Third died in twelve sixteen, and it wasn't
until twelve twenty that Fred was officially crowned Holy Roman
Emperor by Honors the Third.
Speaker 1: By the way, these popes, they obviously are power hungry people,
like a lot of them. But like he's playing the
long game. Yeah, he's thinking ahead of himself.
Speaker 3: Honors the Third also was one of his tutors as
a child.
Speaker 1: Okay, so still.
Speaker 3: Kind of into good graces of the pope. Still hasn't
fully turned on the papacy.
Speaker 1: Oh no, he turns out. Yeah, he is the Antichrist.
Speaker 3: Fuck this guy already and now going out against the
Catholic Church.
Speaker 1: Would never, I would never, heal, dude, I would never.
Do you know how many confessions I went to because
I was at a Jewish wedding this weekend. My god,
I still have my salise on.
Speaker 3: Did they have something you could pop into at the
airport in Saint Louis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it's
a big Catholic Yeah yeah, it's a Catholic city. So
I imagine you hopping in the confessional at the airport.
Speaker 1: Yes, we initially didn't have it, but there was this
really great movement. A lot of brave Catholics forced the
airport to get rid of the lactation stations and women's
restrooms and make all of those confessionals. Yes, and I
to this day I thank them.
Speaker 3: Now, we're not here to talk about the intricacies of
his political career, his constant clashes with the papacy in
the future where he is excommunicated from the church twice,
or the crusades that he launched.
Speaker 1: He excimniated for the crusades.
Speaker 3: No, he had two other crusades, but he's we're we're
not here to talk okay, We're not here to talk
about that.
Speaker 1: It's you know, we're getting personal.
Speaker 3: Just like Friday the Second paid no attention to the
sanctions imposed upon them. We're not going to dive into
fic calling Moses, Muhammad, even Jesus frauds. We're not going
to get into that we're not getting into that.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I don't know that that two out
of the three of those would even make the Pope
very angry.
Speaker 3: That's for another episode.
Speaker 1: It seems like only the Jesus one would really rub
the pope the wrong way. Maybe Moses, certainly not Mohamed.
Speaker 3: We're not going to get into how he was married
at least three times, fathered eight legitimate children, and had
many mistresses and illegitimate children through his lifetime.
Speaker 1: Well, that's just the part of the game.
Speaker 3: No, it is spooky Moth, and we're here to talk
about his side quest, batshit crazy experiments he conducted in
his never ending thirst of knowledge?
Speaker 1: Oh no, was he the original Nazi scientist?
Speaker 3: Kind of God damn it. He is referred to as
the Wonder of the world after all. Perfect, And it's
not because he was like a great looking dude or.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just liked that. Every generation there's a guy
who thinks he's really smart because he's like, if I
saw it this man to this dog, could it be
a dog man? And like, no, they're both. They died.
They both I was gonna die there and they did immediately.
Now we know you're not far off yeah, we know this.
The dog mantain is impossible. Ten is old. It's always
the same thing, tod. It's like what if we sold
one thing to a Nazis sing with stitches.
Speaker 3: He is sometimes referred to as Emperor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1: God damn it, Frederick, I'm a great man of many
mental prowess.
Speaker 3: Was known for his great curiosity in science, and the
lengths he would go in his quest for wisdom and
empirical understanding both fascinated and repelled his contemporaries.
Speaker 1: I just have a real problem with the way all
that's described. He loved science, Like if jamming a fire
cracker up a frog's ass is not a science experiment.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you gotta see just how far each piece of
the frog is gonna go when it explodes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer is just doing science experiments. Putting a
fucking power drill into someone's head. They're like, oh, now we.
Speaker 3: Know it's on the name of wisdom.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: First up. Fred was very curious about the nature of
the human soul, oh boy, and its relationship with the body.
Speaker 1: Oh God.
Speaker 3: He conducted experiments on prisoners, well, terminally ill individuals, peasants.
We're just people he didn't want around anymore.
Speaker 1: Really, it really takes a leftter there. It's like prisoners.
Oh that's bad, but I guess they're prisoners terminally ill.
Well they're gone anyway, poor people, and then other apparently
and then whoever he felt like killing anyone, anyone.
Speaker 3: You were open season. Yeah. He wanted to see if
there was any physical evidence of the soul's departure from
the body.
Speaker 1: There's only one way to find out, got a look.
Speaker 3: He would put these unfortunate individuals into a sealed wooden
casket or barrel, deprive them of food and water until
that person eventually.
Speaker 1: Perished. Right.
Speaker 3: The whole process was closely observed throughout, especially as the
man true close to death. A hole was made in
the barrel for this purpose, and it soon became apparent why.
Speaker 1: I've actually stumped. Unless they're just like peeking into watch,
I don't.
Speaker 3: The point of the experiment was to test whether or
not the human soul could be seen at the moment
of death as it left the body. So the hole
had to be you know, carved out so the soul could.
Speaker 1: Leave, presumably presumably if Frederick himself wasn't a part of it.
He was one degree zero degrees a way from hundreds
of people who had been in battles and watched people
die like twenty times in a day. I it's the
eleven hundreds. So you can go to an execution any
day of the week, Like it's a fucking Starbucks.
Speaker 3: Too much space, so you have to capture okay, and
you need the right lighting. Maybe you gotta see the
soul come out of the body, because if there's too
many souls, it's just yeah, it just looks like smog. Yeah,
you don't really you don't really know. Yeah, it's hard
to say. Could Yeah, good lord, all right, science, it's
a child trying to catch Santa Claus setting up traps, right,
fucking trying to vacuum in the soul.
Speaker 1: That's just oh man. Yeah. Whenever anyone's like, I got quest,
it's just because it's like, you're not a scientist. You
just have the means to answer any question you have
any way you want. Yeah, but you have the resource
to do so that's what I'm saying. You have the
means to do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: Frederick also had a strong interest in medicine and is
believed to have been involved in or encouraged the study
of medical practices. He promoted medical inquiry, particularly in the
fields of surgery and anatomy, based on the knowledge that
flowed into his court from the Islamic world and other regions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the Muslims were the ones definitely on
the cutting edge. Maybe the Chinese too, but I don't remember.
But yeah, this is the golden age of Viglama, right,
Bagdad has not fallen yep. Yeah, so yeah, they're the
ones might be close, it's around that time, but I
don't think it's fallen yet. I forget. But yeah, I
mean they're the best at it. And then they're they're
nice enough to give people, uh sedatives. At least I
wonder if Frederick is well.
Speaker 3: In another experiment, Frederick ordered two prisoners be given dinner,
each man to be fed the same food the other.
After eating, one man was sent out to go hunt,
while the other was told to go to bed and
sleep off the meal he ingested. Unknown to the two men,
Frederick intended to investigate the different effects that exercise and
sleep might have on the digestion process.
Speaker 1: Only one way to find out what's it look like.
Speaker 3: This was achieved a few hours afterwards, when Frederick had
both men killed and disembowed for the purpose of comparing
the state of the contents of their stomach to see
what had greater effect, like.
Speaker 1: On digestion, Like what gets the food moving? I need
to find out the optimal way to eat food. So
let's get some hoboes, feed him some pie and yeah,
one exercises, one sleeps, and murder him. Cut them open.
Speaker 3: I mean he but he could have been on the
cutting edge of you know, health and fitness.
Speaker 1: This is absolutely something that at least five hundred Instagram
influencers would do if they had the means to do it.
Speaker 3: He's like, what do carbohydrates do for a workout?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Would I need to like despike the insulin?
Speaker 1: What's your blood look like? If you to eat carbohydrates
and work out and don't work out, and they just
like cut cut a hobo open and smell their blood,
I get I don't even know how they would do it,
taste it.
Speaker 3: This peasant had an awesome workout. I mean, that's kind
of how you want to go out anyway. I guess,
have a dope ass workout and then just get disembowled.
Speaker 1: Now, did they happen to catch any souls leaving the
body as they were.
Speaker 3: Also trying to different experiment.
Speaker 1: Okay, they weren't even looking. No, you can't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do both at the same time.
Speaker 1: Seems foolish. Science has its limits, after.
Speaker 3: All, it's going to kind of taint the research. Yeah, yeah,
that may find two different things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, too many cooks.
Speaker 3: Does you have plenty of bodies? Yeah, yeah, plenty of bodies.
Speaker 1: You could be doing both these at the same time.
Speaker 3: Frederick also established several animal reserves in locations across he
wides break Kingdom, and he liked to take them on
his travels. What the animals m Okay, many of them
are either unknown or rare in the areas he visited.
He often rolled around with panthers, lions, leopards, drafts, camels,
and elephants.
Speaker 1: I was literally about to say girafts, just because I
thought it was funny. It would just be funny if
Germany somehow ended up with a native giraffe population, because
this guy was just like, yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool
to have drafts in this force. Mm let's do it.
I mean, I assume one winter probably kills all.
Speaker 3: Of them, but until then, yeah, yeah, Yeah, it's a fun.
He's like, we're gonna test the limits of giraffes body
temperature diddy probably.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Seriously, how many horses would it take if I
to break a giraffe's neck, Like we tie a noose
around the giraffe's neck and then just tie a horse
to it. One doesn't do it? K two? Three? Get
him on a big wagon thing and get it for
like eight on one of those huge like carriage things.
Finally the drafts had pop off.
Speaker 3: Ken giraffes and elephants live in harmony?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah they can?
Speaker 3: They can?
Speaker 1: They do?
Speaker 3: We know that because of him?
Speaker 1: Yeah he did it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Now ken apes and rhinos in a very small contained facility,
can they live in harmony?
Speaker 1: Probably? Did he experiment on that too? Well?
Speaker 3: He was very RFK like with his interest in falconry.
Okay actually published the book on the subject called the
Art of Hunting with Birds, which combined his personal observations
with an attempt to categorize different species of bird and
their behaviors, and he of course tested their abilities by
torturing other animals and occasionally a poor to get data
on his blood birds.
Speaker 1: This guy just needed data. Yeah, he just needed that
like constantly. Wait, how did he torture? Was he having
the birds like hunt.
Speaker 3: People sometimes just kind of swooped down? That's pretty sweet?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Fuck I would go to that. Fuck yeah, I
would go to.
Speaker 3: That, like like the most dangerous game.
Speaker 1: Let's just say. Let's just say I'm in Pakistan. For
some some reason, some Pakistani guy is like, Hey, there
is a murderer, a serial killer that's being executed today,
and he's being executed by We're tossing him into a
field naked, and golden eagles are gonna hunt him.
Speaker 3: There's about a dozen birds that are just gonna dive
bomb down. Would you like to go and tear him
to pieces? Ye?
Speaker 1: Would you? Would you like to go to the serial
killers and see what what a bird hunting a human is?
Like he confirmed serial killer? Yeah, okay, okay, I'll go.
Speaker 3: Will it be refreshments, bird of prey tearing the man apart?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: God go kind of game.
Speaker 1: Who am I to judge your culture? Oh?
Speaker 3: This has happened probably ten times at least in human history.
What bird expert execution? It's not not zero, as it
was in fashion for the time. Frederick often engaged in alchemy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair that. I don't even that. I don't
even think an eye of that.
Speaker 3: No, No, of course, our boy was dabbling with substances
like gold, silver, mercury and other elements, and attempts to
transform materials were uncover the secrets of nature. He sought
the discovery of the Philosopher's Stone, the transmute based metals
into gold and achieve, of course, eternal life.
Speaker 1: So he was looking for the Philosopher's Stone, not the
Sorcerer's stone, the Philosopher's stone, same thing. But yeah, the
americanized version is stupid, like we're just so dumb. Philosopher's
Stone sounds way better, but an eight year old is
not going to read something with the word philosopher in it.
Speaker 3: He's just mixing metals and well, yeah, the main thing
is to try to make gold out of anything. Yeah,
that was a big thing. But he also wanted an
eternal life. That was, yes, I think the ultimate goal.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, the Philosopher's Stone will give you what like
a little all This is based on the Harry Potter.
Speaker 3: Book had the Bunsen burners going.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Nicholas Fimel was a real guy too. People don't
people don't know that.
Speaker 3: He also loved a good animal and human dissection and
perhaps the stitching together.
Speaker 1: I mean it seems like it got to that at
some point. Like I just like that. There's some amount
of scientists and history that are basically the doctor from
South Park who just makes animals with like five asses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like that's.
Speaker 1: Some people. Really they're not in it for learning beyond
their own imagination, Like they want to know what would happen,
but it's like the most useless knowledge, the most useless
shit you will ever learn. He's just like, I'm personally curious,
what would happen if you sewed twenty pigeons to a
man's back? Would he fly?
Speaker 3: You gotta get some of the evil out of you.
Speaker 1: I think it just puts more into you, to be honest,
because what do you do that first?
Speaker 3: But that's what happens when you feed the beast, It
only gets hungry.
Speaker 1: Right exactly, Like it's just you see it. You do
it once and you're like, A, I did it. B
No one got really mad, and see a couple people
thought it would pretty cool, So maybe I'll keep doing it.
Speaker 3: Dude, you take some of those falcons. The talons get
sewn into a man's back.
Speaker 1: He's flying. Yeah, I think we're gonna make an angel.
I think with the falcons, you go one on each shoulder.
So yeah, it's like a freak angel.
Speaker 3: We're making a creature of God.
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Speaker 3: Frederick the second has strong connections to the Islamic world,
as I said, particularly through his rule in Sicily and
his diplomat meetings with Muslim rulers in the Middle East.
He maintained a court where scholars from the Arab world
were welcome and engaged with ideas that combined Greek philosophy,
Islamic science, and mysticism just a little fun stuff. In particular,
Muslim scholars were often well versed in astrology in alchemy,
disciplines that were considered part of the occult tradition in
medieval Europe. This of course, God, I'm excommunicated from the church.
Speaker 1: Wow. Was he just so like one and done? I
mean they had to be just pissed off in general
that he was hanging out with Muslim dudes and all
that shit, even though Sicily, like you said, like it
was kind of a crossroads at the time, because the
Normans did take it back I think in the early
around the same time that they took the English crown,
they also took Sicily and then but before that, Sicily like, yeah,
I was part of the different caliphates for a couple
hundred years, I feel like, so they were still there.
Speaker 3: He also had sorcerers and people that kind of dealt
with dark magic on his council.
Speaker 1: So that they might have I bet you he was
so into just off the church. I bet you. He
loved gin. I mean you he wanted He wanted nothing
more than to see a gin.
Speaker 3: He probably tried to make a man of fire.
Speaker 1: He was like, how can we turn a mud person
into a fire person.
Speaker 3: If you don't know what that means, light him up.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Islam believes that humans were created from dirt, you know,
from dust whatever, from dust. You came dust, you would
turn and genie genies are canonical in Islam, but they're
made from fire. Hence they're, in my opinion, the superior species.
I am racist against my own kind because I mean,
fire person is cooler. But god, he would have gone
fucking bananas and he probably did light someone won a
fire like I wonder if we could turn them into
a genie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if we let him on fire, All right, try hot.
Does the body need to get to turn into a gin?
Speaker 1: That guy was a pussy. Let's get to one stronger.
Like I said, you need to be pretty strong to
do it. No more kids or that.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's why he's trying to capture the souls. For
what you turn the souls into a genie?
Speaker 1: I think you just want to trap a soul and
it looks pretty in a Mason jar.
Speaker 3: But what is a geny other than an entrapped soul
with superpowers.
Speaker 1: That's that's true pretty much when it's in the in
the lamp. That'd be funny if he just like it
was like a college apartment. He just had like twenty
Mason jars of souls lining the top of his cabinets.
But he also just put like some highlight or fluid
in there so it was cool, different colors, maybe backlit.
Speaker 3: It, or like ran out of really awesome containers. So
he's like, man, I got a empty grey goose bottle,
just put it in there. You're the genie inside of
a gray goose.
Speaker 1: Why not? It's like a crab. They're like crabs, you
know what I mean, they just have to find something
to be inside of. It doesn't matter if it's a
shell or an old coke can.
Speaker 3: Man cocam would do wonders for a crab.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I've seen pictures of crabs in like
literal human garbage.
Speaker 3: That just means you're in a better country maybe. I
mean you're in a Coca Cola country, not a pepsi country.
Do you know that? Do you know why? Uh, Coca
Cola is in kind of richer countries No, I literally don't,
or Allied countries. No, because they helped set up factories
in World War Two? Oh uh so Coca Cola. I
forget the actual like logistics of this, but they helped
the Allied forces do and uh kind of banish their
product from the axis. Okay, and those fucking turncoats all
up in the axis there.
Speaker 1: I know that. I think pepsi is the bigger soda
in Russia. Yeah because of that, Yeah yeah, yeah, which
not an axis power. But you know, right after that Moore,
I mean they became Yeah, they weren't. They weren't good.
Uh yeah, that's funny. I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: So you see a crab with a Coca cola shell
might be in France. That's a hero right there. Now
you're gonna hate his most famous and perhaps darkest experiment. Okay,
you're gonna really hate it.
Speaker 1: As a father, Oh Jesus man, I just got to
see my kids for the first time in three days.
What was he doing? What was he so in toddlers too?
Speaker 3: He wasn't so in children anything.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's darker, great, perfect, that's awesome.
Speaker 3: Now, his opponents, particularly in church, painting him as a
figure who dabbled in forbidden knowledge.
Speaker 1: They were correct. Yeah, they didn't paint him at that way.
They were just accurately describing him. Although I mean, is
that knowledge first off, forbidden knowledge is actually not an
accurate way to put that, because one, there's no knowledge,
only as much is there is knowledge? Again and being like,
wonder what it would sound like if you cut a
baby's hand off. That's not really knowledge, like it is
technically information, but I don't know that it's knowledge per se.
Speaker 3: Like it doesn't work. Check that off the box.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, now we know what it sounds like when
you cut a baby's hand up. You could have guessed
and you didn't need it. You didn't need to need
the information. Don't worry.
Speaker 3: We're not cutting kids up. All right, we're not stitching
kids up. We're not really paying attention to kids at all.
Speaker 1: Oh so they did they.
Speaker 3: Let me get to it that you know, bombered them,
wen't get to it. This is perhaps his most bertal experiment.
The origins of human language was something that he was
fascinated with.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: He embarked upon an experiment that he hoped would prove
what was the original language of mankind.
Speaker 1: So it was like a reverse tower of babble kind
of I'm unfamiliar with that story.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, and so give me that wisdom.
Speaker 1: That's just like a biblical story where I think humans
were like they were just like, let's build a fucking tower.
The God's up there. Let's build a tower all the
way up to God and they were doing it. They
were like crushing it. Where were you? Yeah, when they
built the latter and God was like, oh shit, they're
getting pretty close. How can we fuck this up? And
he was like kind of nice about it, like he
could have just killed them all right, made the tower collapse,
but he was like, I'm gonna make all of you
speak different languages.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, So it was almost like a construction side.
Speaker 1: It was basically yeah, honestly, but it was basically like
the origin story. It's like the Biblical origin story for language.
Basically like not beyond the singular whatever proto language that
they believed existed but never did.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, Furk didn't do that. In his eagerness to
determine what language have been given to Adam and Eve
in the Garden of Eden, yep, he gave hundreds of
babies over to the care of nurses who were given
strict instructions on how to raise them, don't talk to them.
The nurses were ordered not to interact with the kids
other when strictly necessary. The offense could be fed and bathed,
but no more, and they were not to be spoken to.
We're coddled under any Circumjan Jesus, Christ, God, damn it.
Hundreds of children start of any form of affection, warmth,
basic interaction, died quite simply out of a lack of love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds really accurate. Also, I mean a lot
of infants just died anyway back then, some who knows,
maybe some died for normal ish reasons, but good Lord.
And then also so this.
Speaker 3: And he also did not find the answer because no shit,
none of the kids spoke.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no fucking shit. So there was I think we've
talked about this on the show before a while ago
or something, but you remember that German family, that the
German dad who just kept all his kids fucking locked
in the basement from birth or actually no, he kept
some of his kids locked in the basement and then
like fucking raped his daughter while he was down there.
And the daughter had kids, I think one for sure,
but I think multiple, and they were raised down there,
not none of the kids could speak. They were raised
down there not knowing any language. And so when they
finally found him, when this shit happens, like it's obvious,
obviously hyper unethical to do what he did to try
to figure out a language. But when it happens organically.
Social scientists and language scientists or whomever this sitution it
pertains to, will like rush to that situation to get
data that they can't otherwise collect because you obviously you
can't fucking collect it. So it's kind of like because
they and they're not trying to find out like, oh
well this baby that was walked in a dark basement
with speaking out of an Eves language, it's mostly just
like hot brain development information language development.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not gonna do it ourselves, but if it's
already available.
Speaker 1: Pretty literally, yeah, they'll do that. So the I remember
the German one being a situation where it was like
a bunch of after the kids were taking care of
and made as okay as you could possibly make a
child that'ssar, but the kids, the kids were speaking like
gibberish language, like making noise.
Speaker 3: I imagine you would develop something that would help you
communicate with the other kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It would almost be probably pre man. You're just making
kind of grunts and sounds pretty much.
Speaker 1: We Yeah, I think they think I think they believe
we develop esque.
Speaker 3: What like a Neanderthal esque language.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they actually believe we developed like sign
language before we developed spoken.
Speaker 3: Language that would makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it was just like and then you start
adding noises to it, like the like oh it's the
buffalo or whatever. But yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fucking.
Speaker 3: Just making fun of all the artsy kids that kind
of drew stick figures on caves. Yeah, just essentially call
him gay pretty much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, bitch.
Speaker 3: Uh. And those were the experiments of Frederick the Second. Obviously,
like I said, we can get into there's a whole
other episode about him and his actual politics geopolitical career.
Speaker 1: Doesn't seem as interesting.
Speaker 3: All the things that kind of he came across. He
had two different crusades, one of which where he never
actually uh, I don't think anyone swung a battle axe
or a sword.
Speaker 1: Did he even go anywhere?
Speaker 3: No, they kind of did it through diplomacy. It was
a crusade through diplomacy week.
Speaker 1: That's stupid, that's dumb. There were a lot of crusades
at that time.
Speaker 3: He also spoke like, like I said, five languages as
a kid, but here his life he kept picking up
more and more languages because not he wanted to stunt
on everyone. He wanted to just be able to show
up and just kind of embarrass you in your language.
Speaker 1: He that's fair. He's like a good example of just
because you're curious, which is admirable, But just because you're
curious doesn't mean you're smart.
Speaker 3: And just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's it's very good to have question to
always be so curious about the world and questions about
the world and everything like that. But if you're but
still if your questions are just like wonder, what would
happen if I just like rubbed my poop on my dog?
Like what, That's not the sort of curiosity you need
at all at fucking all? Like just or like whoever
decided that like ass chugging alcohol might be interesting?
Speaker 3: To be fair, in his defense, he is did it
with a couple advancements in like surgery and medical practices. Okay,
I mean you know what, No, maybe not necessary. I
mean he backed the people that did it, but he's
not doing it himself. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It seems like whenever he was quarterback, very the Jerry
Jones of science in a lot of ways, you know
what I mean, Like he should just be writing checks.
Speaker 3: I mean, he's he his hands on. Yeah, certainly that's
the problem. He needs to just be writing checks. He
really can't be the GM.
Speaker 1: He really can't be making sort of personnel decisions like that.
Speaker 3: And clearly he didn't figure out the eternal life question,
didn't figure out the sole question, didn't figure out the
language like problem.
Speaker 1: How did he die like normal?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he just kind of suddenly died in twelve fifty.
But I mean that was a pretty good life for him.
Speaker 1: Sixty years, So fifty fifty sixty years.
Speaker 3: He was born in ninety four, Yeah, died in twelve fifty.
It's not a bad it's fifty fifty six fifty six.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty solid, honestly for the time period. You
never know, you stub your toe wrong and gets infected,
you fucking die.
Speaker 3: And kind of his bloodline and stuff don't really take
over much longer did he have He had kids, though,
he had eight kids, legitimate kids, and then he had
a bunch of bastards he fucked around. Yeah, he's an
interesting dude.
Speaker 1: Would at least maybe slightly admire him if he had
used his own bastard children for the experiment. He was
taking other people's kids.
Speaker 3: I mean, he might have he might have. He probably did.
I'm just saying leaders lead, Like you said, why don't
you just kind of kill two birds with one stone?
What do you mean with you said, with certain experiments.
I bet he did it with his kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one would imagine, oh, thank you for bringing the baby.
Speaker 3: Getting uh mouthy, I'm going to totally legitimize this baby
off a raised it in the castle, totally.
Speaker 1: Don't worry about nothing like puttin the language bond. Mm
take it to Fay.
Speaker 3: I just love the whole kind of arc though, where
his mom has to prove that she's gonna have a
kid at forty what they have to go to this
ancient prophecy from Merlin.
Speaker 1: From fucking Merlin, and then she still got to put
toss her legs up in the town square.
Speaker 3: But it is our baby, and pushed that baby out,
raise it up like it's fucking simba.
Speaker 1: Oh boy. I wonder how they cut the biblical cords
back then. Probably it's a regular knife. Yeah, probably a knife.
You just fucking chop chop chop chop chop job, and
then you kind of squeeze the rest of it off.
I mean, honestly, every birth ever pretty much is like
a show. I feel like at some point, maybe if
I was a woman, I don't know, definitely speaking out
of my ass here, but like when the two times
Courtney's given birth, just like six people in the room
back in the Middle Ages, you in your royal especially
you're already giving birth in front of like twenty or
thirty people. It's fucking what's a few hundred more at
that point, you know what I mean? Like, it's just
I'm sure she has like maybe her own uh off
off put by, like you know, stinky peasants being there,
Like why does a fucking peasant need to see this?
But like when they were giving like when kings and
queens are giving birth, like it's a packed house.
Speaker 3: The room was full, need the entire realm to see, right.
Speaker 1: So like again, like it's just like, I guess what's
a few hundred more? All right, My whole fucking court's
in here already. I don't know these people anyway, and
I'll never see them again, So fuck it, let's go.
Speaker 3: What was your favorite of the experiments mentioned?
Speaker 1: Oh god, I do like the sole one is like
a perfect creepy medieval thing, like we're just gonna put
you in a box.
Speaker 3: Time capsule.
Speaker 1: Yeah, drill a hole. And I assume these people had
no idea going in. They're just grabbed up the street.
Speaker 3: No, of course not. They're signing. They're not signing up
for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they're not. They're not signing.
Speaker 3: I'm doing what now.
Speaker 1: They're not signing consent forms for example, at the for
the soul experiment.
Speaker 3: But like I get a loaf of bread and some soup.
You kidding me? Done, I'll sign up.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like drug experiments now, where they're like you good,
a thousand dollars if you take this weird thing for
a weekend. You just sleep here, we watch you for
three days.
Speaker 3: My man was sending spices to places too. Obviously he
was caught. He had such a massive territory that he
ruled over, had had the end with the Muslim So I.
Speaker 1: Mean this Sicily was like a crossroads, certainly a cultural crossroads.
So yeah, he probably had some access to.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean some food, good food. Yeah, I'm
a poor person. I get access to maybe some some
seasoned food if I sign up for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's a little bit of a misnomer
that there was no seasoning. I get that. But yeah,
but yeah, fuck yeah, Sicily's where really all the modern
American Italian food comes from. Sicily, Southern Italy.
Speaker 3: If there was a place to live during that time,
this was top way up way up there.
Speaker 1: For sure. Gets conquered a lot, I guess, but a
lot of war.
Speaker 3: But it's worth it.
Speaker 1: Great environmental culture, great weather cuisine. Yeah, pretty seems pretty sweet.
I would I would love to go to Sicily. Actually,
that would be high on my list of Italian places.
Speaker 3: Did he ever really have a chance? I guess he
was kidnapped at a young age by his fucking pope,
by his uncle and the pope.
Speaker 1: Yeah whatever.
Speaker 3: They kind of groomed him.
Speaker 1: If you can't trust, if you can't leave your kids
with the priests, who can leave your kids with?
Speaker 3: But also, of course he acts out against the Catholic Church.
He was raised by them. Yeah, was that all?
Speaker 1: It was? Like? Fuck you Goad?
Speaker 3: Maybe would ever be like you twenties, He's just rebellious.
I'm not gonna pray, I'm gonna cut this guy open.
Speaker 1: It's so that actually would be funny.
Speaker 3: I think it was more though, that his like kind
of mentors were the people that were in power when
he was down with the church, and then once they
get removed or once they die and they had other.
Speaker 1: His loyalty as to the man, not the institution. The institution. Yeah,
that makes sense.
Speaker 3: So he was loyal, innocent, he was loyal to the
other guy after him, and then after that, I think
he was just like, you know what I'm gonna roll now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be funny too if he got just
like disenchanted with the church because he was so close
to it and grew up to it, and he's like,
I they're not trying to get the answers the right way.
I'm gonna try to get the answers the way I
think is the right way. They're old, they're dumb, they
don't do it right. They just sit there and pray
and blah blah blah. Like we need to get fucking messy,
we need to get in the weeds. Right.
Speaker 3: He saw everything the Catholic Church was doing, so he
was too close to the situation. Yeah that he knew
all of kind of their faults and he's like, they're
not willing to go there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not willing to do what you need to
do to get the answers. We need.
Speaker 3: They're not trying to capture souls.
Speaker 1: They're not trying that. It was like, dud, have you
ever even tried to see it? Soul? You never even
tried to see it exists, but you never try to
see it?
Speaker 3: The fuck?
Speaker 1: I mean to a certain extent that makes sense and
it being annoyed they have to make Freda isn't metaphysical,
he's a little bit of it. Better? What meta? What physical? Metaphysical?
Speaker 3: See, he's a physical I need to be able to
see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Freda is nothing.
Speaker 3: What do you think they don't want to use these
birds of prey as weapons of war?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just sweet. Honestly, human hunting with birds is
I'm not I can't hate on that.
Speaker 3: Or stitching the birds to a human. Make him need
to be done? Yeah, make him flat?
Speaker 1: Yeah that that also like he didn't do the experiments
I would do.
Speaker 3: I bet he was trying to make like little giraffes
and little little elephants too.
Speaker 1: Again, I'm fine with that, breeding pigmy dirafts and pigmy
elephants so you can have him as a pet in
your house.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's like, what if we make this third
half smaller?
Speaker 1: Yeah, make you don't have to prune your bushes anymore
because the giraffe does.
Speaker 3: I want him to fit in my bedroom.
Speaker 1: Chain this.
Speaker 3: I want to sleep in a bed with the giraffe
A little bit, little bit of that's a noble cause.
Speaker 1: I'm there for that. I'm all for that.
Speaker 3: But once you stop providing toddlers and children with love
and affection, maybe not. Maybe he's trying to create also
like another like soulless army. I mean, if they make
it out of that, you know, they have their own communication,
they become fucking deadly. As like I said, I've said
this a lot before, but like a group of hitmen. Yeah,
like it's something something horrific is like one percent more
forgivable if there's at least like a.
Speaker 1: Semi coherent goal to it. It's still horrific, but it's like, Okay,
I can at least see your logic train like you
deserve to rotten hell, but like I can at least
like see what you were thinking like other people just
like you don't there was nothing there. What are you doing?
Speaker 3: Didn't the KGB do that with kids? What to create?
Kind of like Assassin?
Speaker 1: Probably, I don't know. I mean, there is like the
whole plot to Black Widow, Black Widow, and to a
lot of other things too. It's just like it's a
it's like a very common cold eratrope is like.
Speaker 3: So there's gotta be smoke there.
Speaker 1: Probably, I mean they're fucking.
Speaker 3: Probably had programs that made just deadly soulless children.
Speaker 1: Yea, do like the spartan thing, just like taking kids
and training you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably who's today's Hitler?
Speaker 1: It's proto Hitler here, it's fucking.
Speaker 3: Who's today's Antichrist?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I mean, he's a fucking monster. And again,
I think we need to start determining the difference between
information and knowledge.
Speaker 3: At least he's not just doing this for fun, right,
there were plenty of kings and royals that would probably
just torture.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, I mean that does make him a little
bit better, not good, not deemable, but like like one
percent batter that. It's like, well, you had goals.
Speaker 3: It was in the quest. He had some type of
something he was trying to achieve. Yeah, it wasn't just
for the entertainment.
Speaker 1: You had goals, and in some way maybe someone should
have said something and they did.
Speaker 3: Maybe the Pope maybe said something ex communicate him so
twice for.
Speaker 1: Literally doing that. So yeah, we tried. We tried to
talk to him. Fucking dickhead.
Speaker 3: He was rolling with the sorcerers, he's rolling with the Muslims.
Maybe his brain got kind of uh infiltrated, Yeah, by
the wrong, by the dark magic as a as he
was the chosen one. There's a great line in innocent
wasn't alive enough to say that.
Speaker 1: That's true? Yeah, and his all his gentors are dead too,
So he loved you.
Speaker 3: Frederick, You're a brother, Frederick, You're the chosen one.
Speaker 1: I have found you, Frederick, I have failed you.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: That's the better trilogy. It is. No one quotes the original.
Speaker 3: The best scene in all of Star Wars. Yeah, easily
the best scene in any of that by fucking far.
And it's all you and McGregor.
Speaker 1: Yep, he rules. I love you McGregor.
Speaker 3: Would you learn today?
Speaker 1: Uh? I actually, well I don't know that. I did
we do an episode on ancient stuff like this before
where they did this in ancient times too. People just
like doing weird medical, hard air quote medical things.
Speaker 3: That would have been a U episode.
Speaker 1: So probably so maybe we did. I just I learned
that man's quest for knowledge has been going on for
a long time, the demon within. Yeah, I really, I
just learned that, like, boy, medical experimentation not great, been
going on for a long time, longer than you think.
Because this is like people don't think of eleven ninety
or twelve. He was doing these experiments probably what twelve twenties.
One would imagine. People don't think of the twelve hundreds
and think anyone even thinks about quote unquote medically experimenting,
Like the to word medical doesn't even fucking clock in
your brain for the twelve hundreds.
Speaker 3: I mean they were fucking around leeches. Yeah, they were
doing When you do have that kind of thought in
your head, you are thinking of like a medicine man
or like a somebody that's on their court. What is
it in Game of Thrones where they were like you
think like mastery. Yeah yeah, so maybe some magic stuff,
but yeah, guys just mixing matching some some potions together.
Speaker 1: Right, you don't think of like s I mean, but
we've been doing surgery since probably no, not probably, we
have been human beings. Surgery is older than writing. It
is on a presentary. If he didn't know that, so
it makes sense, but I know you still, I don't
know if I learned anything so much as I was,
other than everything just about this guy, because I didn't
know anything about him. But like I would just run
minded of we've always been cutting ourselves open.
Speaker 3: Yep, well that's our episode on Frederick the Second. I'm
sure we could probably dive deeper into his life on
the Patreon. At patreon dot com slast software History, where
you get two additional episodes every week. We've been putting
out some fire lately. Goddamn right, Spooky Moth, a lot
of episodes behind the paywall. We should be having a
guest that has not been on the show before next week.
First stay tuned somebody you know if you have followed
us from the TFM days the TFM days. But yeah,
that's all I got today. Make sure to leave a
review five stars please and thank you Spotify. All you
have to do is leave the five stars. Apple, please
write a review. Maybe next week we will read some
of the better ones if we do get enough reviews
at the end of the episode. And uh software history
dot com for merch we still need to revamp the store,
but there's plenty of good stuff in there if you
want to get some tea and yeah, man, that's pretty
much all I got. Although actually I do want to
talk about something that I found out. I don't know
any other place to talk about it, all right, so
I shall say I and Carrol, he's this kind of
conspiracy guy on Twitter and everything. We found out the
reason for McDonald's ice cream machine problems.
Speaker 1: Oh what is it?
Speaker 3: So there's this company called Taylor which supplies every McDonald's
franchiser with their ice cream.
Speaker 1: Isine, the soft serve, the mt We're not talking Mcflurri's.
We're talking like soft serving the cone.
Speaker 3: Typical ice cream machine, the McDonald's ice cream Maine. I
think it makes all of it, okay, fair enough whatever,
So soft Serve mcflaur is everything. The reason why it's
always broken is.
Speaker 1: By design, as in, so they can sell more, as.
Speaker 3: In the company that makes the ice c machine that
has that every McDonald's has to buy like it was required, right,
they designed a flawed machine.
Speaker 1: In order to make those McDonald's buy more.
Speaker 3: Of them, not buy more, but constantly fixing it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so part need more parts and everything there, and
they're the only supplier of the part.
Speaker 3: So this company makes seventy five million dollars a year
and this is all court documented, yeah, because they're currently getting.
Speaker 1: Sued by McDonald's by McDonald's owners.
Speaker 3: So there was another company that created a kind of
fix all for the machine, an adapter that you kind
of plugged in and then it went through like a
smart app. Yeah, and you could fix the machine without
having to call the guy oh wow from Tailor. Uh,
so you could fix the machine. It cured. It was
a cure all for everything. And uh obviously this pissed
off Tailor because the.
Speaker 1: Racket it got going.
Speaker 3: They had a seventy five million dollars a year and
just fixing the machines.
Speaker 1: Yeah, profit like parts and maintenance and stuff like.
Speaker 3: For maintenance, yeah, because which is insane. So like that
it became a meme, right, like the fucking McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a huge meme.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this company sold sabotage machines in order to fix
them and just collect money for years.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, fuck Taylor for real.
Speaker 3: Like so it's it's in the courts now because they
they were trying to steal the in or the kind
of technology from this third party that created an adapter
to kill it problem so they could steal it and
then yeah, kill it or like come up with a
solution to even like sabotage that. So yeah, Ian Carroll's
the guy on Twitter. He does a lot of crazy
conspiracy ship. But this is like proven, Yeah, this is
like actual, this is currently going through the legal process.
Speaker 1: That's really fucking funny.
Speaker 3: So I don't know, I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and as we say, he since he's a conspiracy
theorist and got one thing right, we're gonna have to
believe everything everything he says now, yeah, yeah, it doesn't
matter how many other insane things. That's like, well we
go to mcdoulton, right, So I mean who knows.
Speaker 3: I mean, he's a trusted source. He's just trying to
get wisdom, knowledge.
Speaker 1: Not information, just the truth.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, man, for just the second was really
just kind of maybe just the original, not not theorist,
but conspiracsy.
Speaker 1: He's just like, I don't know, I don't know what
he is. Again, he's almost like a health influencer, right,
like what like a shady one that tells you all
dumb things like yeah, man, the toxins and it's almost
like an Aaron, like if Aaron Rodgers was king of
the Holy Roman Empire, you know what I mean, Like, yeah,
my mud crystals really helped me out, and you can
see the soul if we took this island man and
trapped him in a box for eight days and finally
saw his soul.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I'm trying to think of the fucking
like the health guru that I'm blanking on Zam. It
doesn't matter the guy that got busted for having like
all those mistresses and stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't even know.
Speaker 3: I have a couple of months back that could be
anyone I know, and it only it only made him
more rat and cool. Yeah yeah, yeah, but it's some
some he said, some wild ship and we're like, are
we sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Probably this, but yeah if nothing is going to
like finding out someone is a piece of ship but
in an extremely virile way, is not going to hurt
their health brand, especially like their men's internet health brand.
Speaker 3: No, no, so uh yeah that's the episode for today.
Thanks for tuning in, We love you guys, and for
rough Fox. I'm damn Chester and you just got saw
served