Speaker 1: Welcome to teen Girl Talk.
Speaker 2: Teen Girl Talk.
Speaker 1: I'm Susie Cota, I'm Frankingcota, and this week we are talking.
Speaker 2: About Well l Well, a remake of a French film,
Speaker 2: but this one's starring Mally Sarrus and hang on, Suzzy,
Speaker 2: I have to I'm getting a lot of text messages
Speaker 2: that just say hug with like a thousand parentheses around it.
Speaker 1: Frank, I'm not sure why you chose to do this
Speaker 1: to me. I want to take this moment to really
Speaker 1: repent for all my sins, because I must have done
Speaker 1: something really terrible. I was one of the many things
Speaker 1: I bring up all the time, like that time I
Speaker 1: eat your sandwich twenty years ago, yes, or the.
Speaker 2: Time you dumped sod on me when I started a half.
Speaker 1: Hour twenty five years ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really funny in retrospect. So I just wanted
Speaker 2: to do Molly Sawyer's Month. It was it was between
Speaker 2: this so Undercover We're going in next week or the
Speaker 2: Hannah Montana movie. I didn't have the lore for Hannah Montana,
Speaker 2: so I went with this.
Speaker 1: What about the one where her dad's Greg Kinnear and
Speaker 1: they she's like obsessed with saving sea turtles.
Speaker 2: I don't know that one, but I kind of want
Speaker 2: to do that instead of so un to cover Morley Cyrus.
Speaker 1: It's she's in it with Liam Hemsworth. I think they
Speaker 1: ended up getting together after that movie.
Speaker 2: I'll look into this. I'm just gonna look at Molly
Speaker 2: Sawyer's Turtle movie.
Speaker 1: Well it's more like.
Speaker 2: The last song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're doing that. Well do we want to do this?
Speaker 2: Because the scenes is slocky asn't the thing we did today?
Speaker 3: I do want to do it just because, Uh, one
Speaker 3: of my favorite FuG the fromage from Go FuG Yourself,
Speaker 3: a website.
Speaker 1: That I was really into like fifteen years ago. Watch that,
Speaker 1: and uh, I've always been interested to watch the actual
Speaker 1: movie because they consistently comment on how badly Miley's hair
Speaker 1: was styled. It is styled, very greasy looking throughout the
Speaker 1: whole film. I thought her hair looked great in Little
Speaker 1: Demi Moore looks amazing. There are so many stars in
Speaker 1: this movie, and the movie does not feel like a movie.
Speaker 1: It feels like a bunch of scenes.
Speaker 2: Okay, so this movie for me felt like it should
Speaker 2: be three hours long because like, you keep getting scenes
Speaker 2: that come in and you're just like, wait, what did
Speaker 2: I miss something like, because like you'll see characters in
Speaker 2: one scene be like never talk to me again. The
Speaker 2: next scene like he's grossly kissing her shoulder and you're like, wait,
Speaker 2: what happened? Like what's going on? Is that Jerry or Kyle?
Speaker 2: So no, not Chad because he's not being horrendously misogynistic.
Speaker 1: This this movie feels like the movie has a short memory. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So the movie opens bizarrely. Everything just imagine everything I'm saying,
Speaker 1: but all of the lines are delivered in the least
Speaker 1: intuitive way possible. So the movie really crutches on voiceover
Speaker 1: and they have Miley Cyrus say I just want to
Speaker 1: have a perfect year. Here are me and my girls,
Speaker 1: and it's like sort of the click rundown we're used to,
Speaker 1: but there aren't any clicks. We're just talking about individuals.
Speaker 1: And Ashley Green Alice from Twilight Looks Amazing, has the
Speaker 1: most seen hair you could ever imagine in the early
Speaker 1: two thousands, is called post it because she sticks to
Speaker 1: every guy and acts like she loves them, which is
Speaker 1: like not a thing, that's not a stereotype. It's so like,
Speaker 1: this is the opening scene, and I found it confusing.
Speaker 1: So we get to know her friend group. Everyone is
Speaker 1: sort of spitting liners at.
Speaker 2: Each other, and they're all really not funny.
Speaker 1: They're so the cadence is bizarre. It's really lacking humor.
Speaker 1: There's like no sort of like warmth you would expect
Speaker 1: between a friend group that is supposed to be so
Speaker 1: closely tied as this one. So then and so there's
Speaker 1: blonde friend who's obsessed with sleeping with one of the teachers,
Speaker 1: which was like such a major ick factor. And then
Speaker 1: there's brunette friend who just has a mom that sort
Speaker 1: of minimizes her to be her looks. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know anybody's name. If you're not a celebrity i've seen before,
Speaker 1: I don't know your name in this movie. And the
Speaker 1: only reason I know Miley Cyrus's character's name and Chad's
Speaker 1: is because she says both of those names constantly. She's like,
Speaker 1: my name is Lola, and people call me lol.
Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, I need to that. You're doing a great
Speaker 2: job so far, A says it, but.
Speaker 1: I'm struggling, so I'm about to slip under.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to say before I uh, the note
Speaker 2: that just says, I'm in hell. I wrote down this
Speaker 2: line dialog Forbatim. We're all just trying to live, love
Speaker 2: and laugh out loud. Everyone calls me lull because my
Speaker 2: name is Lola.
Speaker 1: Like, imagine you're speaking to someone and they said that
Speaker 1: you would immediately be concerned. You could be like, are
Speaker 1: you okay? Are you experiencing a form of psychosis? Like what,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be funny, Like, these are not
Speaker 1: sentences a human says. Like Frank texted me while he
Speaker 1: was watching the film and said, this movie feels like
Speaker 1: it was made by AI, but this was years decades
Speaker 1: before AI.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's maybe twenty twelve where I think we
Speaker 2: had like the bare bones AI like where it wasn't.
Speaker 1: This way it was like sims level AI.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like like okay, I made it about watch a
Speaker 2: thousand hours of Hallmark Christmas movies and this is the
Speaker 2: like script that came up with. We see a single
Speaker 2: mother refilling snow gloves of Christmas juice. She is widow,
Speaker 2: her husband died in every war.
Speaker 1: Right, these are not really made by AI. These are
Speaker 1: written by people.
Speaker 2: Oh well that was the whole joke.
Speaker 1: They're still very funny, Yes, that's why they're funny because
Speaker 1: they were written by human beings.
Speaker 2: Well, and it's also much better than anything written.
Speaker 1: In this movie, also written by human beings. Confusingly enough,
Speaker 1: Hernandos Okay says he was in suicide Squad. Suicide Squad.
Speaker 2: God, I cannot I forgot how bad his character was
Speaker 2: suicide Squad. So anyway, like we start, it's the beginning
Speaker 2: of the school. Oh so when I mentioned the text
Speaker 2: mess about hugs, that's the text message Molly Cyrus sends
Speaker 2: to her mom, to me more and to me more.
Speaker 2: Has a job.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is Demi Moore has a job with clients undefined,
Speaker 1: but is always home.
Speaker 2: Like when we first see her, she's looking at a
Speaker 2: blueprint kind of like software, like she's an interior designer.
Speaker 2: And I'm just so confounded by this.
Speaker 1: Just Thomas Jane is her ex husband and Miley Cyrus's
Speaker 1: and younger daughter undefined and brother.
Speaker 2: There's a brother and sister okay, which when the brother
Speaker 2: came out, I'm like, where did this kid come from?
Speaker 2: And do they have any meaningful lines? Are they funny?
Speaker 2: Are they useful to the plot? No?
Speaker 1: So what's This movie was adapted from the French film,
Speaker 1: and you can tell because the way the type of
Speaker 1: filmmaking is very European, where the scenes just sort of
Speaker 1: moved from one another. But this film has the glossiness
Speaker 1: of Hollywood, so it like doesn't work. Like I felt
Speaker 1: like my brain was pushing back on it constantly, because
Speaker 1: there are both. This movie is obsessed with sex in
Speaker 1: a very French and American way and also obsessed with
Speaker 1: like sort of sexual permissiveness but shame at the same time.
Speaker 1: And I think that's why it feels so uncomfortable because
Speaker 1: one of the first scenes where we see Miley and
Speaker 1: Demi Moore interact, Tom Moore is in the bath with
Speaker 1: her younger daughter and they're like playing around fine. Miley
Speaker 1: strips off all her clothes, walks across the bathroom to
Speaker 1: the shower. They're in this level of a rich house,
Speaker 1: and her mom says, is that a Brazilian referring to her,
Speaker 1: and Miley says, mom, like, don't look, or like, why
Speaker 1: are you criticize this? Wouldn't I don't think this would happen.
Speaker 1: I think in the majority of homes this would be
Speaker 1: like verboden in America because sex is such a taboo here.
Speaker 4: And like, so then to have this conversation, and the
Speaker 4: conversation and like Miley says something like I just wanted
Speaker 4: to have a shower with my family, which is insane.
Speaker 1: It's an insane thing to say.
Speaker 2: So when you but like it gives this false idea
Speaker 2: that when you first watched this film that like this,
Speaker 2: this family is probably a bit more you know, liberal
Speaker 2: and like open minded than another like other families might be.
Speaker 2: And then like towards the end of the movie and
Speaker 2: throughout we get this like sexual conservatism, where like Demi
Speaker 2: Moore is obsessed with like, okay, spoiler there. For the
Speaker 2: end of the movie, Demi Moore reads all of Mami
Speaker 2: Cyrus's Terrible Diary, which has a condom wrapper in it
Speaker 2: as well as a Tutsi pop up roll wrapper in it,
Speaker 2: and she's writing writing in it constantly in like the
Speaker 2: most unrealistic way of writing I've ever seen, where like
Speaker 2: literally like the pen cannot move that fast if it's
Speaker 2: creating the friction to create to write. So she reads
Speaker 2: the whole thing and then it's just shocked that her
Speaker 2: daughter has like had sex, and I'm like, I thought you,
Speaker 2: like I thought you'd be cooler than this. Okay, And
Speaker 2: here's the thing. No, we've been doing this for a while.
Speaker 2: This is the first movie to just make me feel
Speaker 2: old because I constantly had had to stop myself. Like
Speaker 2: during the aforementioned shower scene, Miley Cyrus has an arguing
Speaker 2: with her mom then walks out, leaving her clothing behind
Speaker 2: like she didn't like leaves like she leaves her clothing behind,
Speaker 2: walks up at least the shower running. I'm like, you're
Speaker 2: wasting water.
Speaker 1: Well, like, none of it makes any sense. What was
Speaker 1: that scene for? What? It wasn't funny, It didn't serve
Speaker 1: the plot. What was that scene for except to be
Speaker 1: like kind of provocative in that it didn't make any sense,
Speaker 1: Like I don't even mean provocative in the fact that
Speaker 1: there was implied nudity. I mean provocative in the fact that,
Speaker 1: like I was like, well, all of that was weird.
Speaker 1: The exchange of words was weird, the setting was strange,
Speaker 1: and so then I already felt like I was sort
Speaker 1: of like caught off foot, like okay, like what is it?
Speaker 1: So like the problem with this movie is I think
Speaker 1: it is existing in a really bizarre space where you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this movie is gonna shock me, like something is gonna happen.
Speaker 1: It's going to be like it's when you turn out
Speaker 1: that Demi Moore is a murderer, or like that Miley
Speaker 1: Cyrus's character is like embroiled in citywide corruption, Like something
Speaker 1: is gonna happen. To make the bizarre catence of this
Speaker 1: movie makes sense where I'm like, oh, okay, it's just
Speaker 1: like dyl and I saw Bogonia last week and the
Speaker 1: whole time I was like, what is gonna have it?
Speaker 1: Which I think is the mark of a really good
Speaker 1: movie or a really bad movie, where you're like, I
Speaker 1: have no idea, what's gonna happen next this movie nothing
Speaker 1: happens and I listener. I will be honest with you,
Speaker 1: this movie was ninety minutes, and usually this is Frank
Speaker 1: nam me. That doesn't finish. I mean, Frank, that's not
Speaker 1: a knock on you. It's like a lot of the
Speaker 1: stuff we watch is pretty terrible. But I say that
Speaker 1: to say I could not get myself to finish this.
Speaker 1: I had so many opportunities to watch the last twenty
Speaker 1: minutes and I couldn't do it. Frank powered through, and
Speaker 1: I think we'll have a little class for him because
Speaker 1: the whole time I was like, I'm uncomfortable. This is boring.
Speaker 1: It's that that is the criminal. The criminal crime by
Speaker 1: this movie is that it's offensive and strange and boring.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can be one of.
Speaker 1: Those things, you can't be all three of those things.
Speaker 1: Like the room like which I would say is like
Speaker 1: the bar for like super bad movies, is strange and
Speaker 1: boring at parts, but it's like the whole time you're
Speaker 1: sort of like I'm seeing inside the mind of a madman.
Speaker 1: With loll I was just like, this feels craven. This
Speaker 1: feels like a movie where someone is writing for the
Speaker 1: teenage experience who one does not remember what it's like
Speaker 1: to be a teenage Yeah, and there's like a fetishistic
Speaker 1: aspect of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like all of the teens.
Speaker 1: Are cynical and shitty and only think of things in
Speaker 1: the terms of sex, like who are you having sex with?
Speaker 2: How?
Speaker 1: Like it feels empty. It's like a vessel that's just empty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what.
Speaker 1: Like, and there's a lot of talk about love no
Speaker 1: evidence of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a loveless movie, but it's not a lollless movie.
Speaker 2: Oh I did not laugh about loud ones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's someone literally named the hole in it.
Speaker 1: Come on, come on.
Speaker 2: But there should have been a scene where towards like
Speaker 2: like their first day of school, She's like, I gotta
Speaker 2: tell Kyle how I feel if I just oh.
Speaker 1: My god, I forgot about the best friend thing. How
Speaker 1: did I forget the whole plot? Because like there is
Speaker 1: no chemistry, just like no chemistry.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, the joke I was about to finish was
Speaker 2: like Lil's like, this me my best year ever. And
Speaker 2: then like here comes Hillary Duff like and she's like, Hi,
Speaker 2: my name's Ruffel.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch that movie.
Speaker 2: Actually no, like this movie couldn't get Hillary Duff. So
Speaker 2: they just have a like a stand in like a
Speaker 2: cardboards hilly hilly, like a cardboard cutout.
Speaker 1: That I'm saying, they get Hailey Duff.
Speaker 2: Who's holding a cardboard cutout of just wearing a cardboard
Speaker 2: mask of her sister. Yeah. Okay, so, oh my god,
Speaker 2: So we get back from to school.
Speaker 1: I need you to describe the best friend relationship.
Speaker 2: With Kyle. Yes, okay, So they've been friends since kindergarten.
Speaker 2: They like to wave at each other from across subway
Speaker 2: platforms for like pals long that.
Speaker 1: I think that montage was what did be in because
Speaker 1: I was like, what's happening?
Speaker 2: Nothing is happening? Is it? That's something else I want
Speaker 2: to bring up on this episode. I don't know what
Speaker 2: the sentral conflict of this movie is. Like in the Lighthouse,
Speaker 2: it's like man's desperate battle against loneliness and like isolation
Speaker 2: and like the ways you stay sane in that kind
Speaker 2: of situation.
Speaker 1: I mean, I felt like that's what was happening to
Speaker 1: me while watching this film. I was the only one
Speaker 1: in the room.
Speaker 2: What is the central conflict of Pregonia's.
Speaker 1: Is he whether Emma Stone is an alien or not?
Speaker 1: And the morality of kidnapping?
Speaker 2: Like nothing happens like that? I kept thinking about that
Speaker 2: scene in Adaptation where like, uh, what adaptation Adaptation where
Speaker 2: you know, Nicholas Cage's character gets yelled at by that
Speaker 2: guy who's just like if you can't find drama in life,
Speaker 2: then why are you wasting my two precious hours or
Speaker 2: your dumb ass movie? Yeah, Like because this this is
Speaker 2: that movie Nicholas Cage is describing. Nothing happens. Okay, So yeah,
Speaker 2: so Kyle, Kyle and loll are in.
Speaker 1: Stop It just call her Miley Cyrus.
Speaker 2: Kyle and Molly Cyrus are in our best friends. They've
Speaker 2: been best friends since kindergarten.
Speaker 1: What do they have in common?
Speaker 2: They've been best friends since they were in kindergarten.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fa.
Speaker 2: That's all I can tell.
Speaker 1: There is this like fixation on indie music, and I
Speaker 1: will say Kyle's band sings a pretty good song.
Speaker 2: You didn't hear all ass song. The last song is
Speaker 2: pure Radio Disney. Oh my god, so it sucks so bad.
Speaker 2: And there's a lot to pull up the line because
Speaker 2: I pulled that one. Oh he's writing a love song
Speaker 2: where he says we used to be like brother and sister.
Speaker 2: Fuck I hate that and then I broke the promise.
Speaker 1: What yeah, Because that's the other part. There's like a
Speaker 1: lot of drama. But the only person who's like truly
Speaker 1: a bad person is Chad, and Chad has almost no
Speaker 1: impact on the plot. Chad is like this name that
Speaker 1: is invoked when they need Miley to storm out of
Speaker 1: a room. But Chad actually, like is a completely inconsequential person.
Speaker 2: Chad is a roaming rumba of misogyny. He just walks
Speaker 2: up to will women calls them hoes. Like, okay, so
Speaker 2: there's I guess supposed to be their central hangout spot
Speaker 2: is against this gray wall. And like Chad and Kyle
Speaker 2: and are a band together, and like there's.
Speaker 1: What do Chad and Kyle have in common?
Speaker 2: They're in a band together.
Speaker 1: We never see anyone like this movie. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to say that it doesn't pass the Bechtel test
Speaker 1: because nobody talks about anything, so like it's not even
Speaker 1: like do the women talk.
Speaker 2: About anything besides men, not that I can tell.
Speaker 1: I guess the women only talk about men, and the
Speaker 1: men only talk about this band in Battle of the
Speaker 1: Bands and dads. So not even the men pass the
Speaker 1: Bechdel test because they're just talking about dads.
Speaker 2: So okay, So Chad, Chad and Malisarius write a heart
Speaker 2: that says Chad and Lowell.
Speaker 1: For oh my god, this is amazing. This happens like
Speaker 1: in the first ninety seconds of the movie. And almost
Speaker 1: immediately after this, what is Chad saying?
Speaker 2: Chad says, Hey, what I was doing? I'm a counselor
Speaker 2: at the.
Speaker 1: At first she's like, hey, I called and texted you
Speaker 1: and you didn't reply, And he's like reception, I couldn't
Speaker 1: and she's like okay, and.
Speaker 2: Then he's just like, hey, I hooked up with this
Speaker 2: girl only a one time thing. And then she lies
Speaker 2: and says she hooked up with somebody, but then it.
Speaker 1: Is clearly angry.
Speaker 2: And then she also goes and like crosses out the chad.
Speaker 2: This is like, this is just the graffiti bathroom. There
Speaker 2: doesn't seem to be anybody.
Speaker 1: At what seems to be a high end private school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so at no point during this summer did the school thing, hey,
Speaker 1: this bathroom looks worse than pensation. We should probably take
Speaker 1: care of it. And like with students like my right,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I probably wouldn't fix it up either.
Speaker 1: I'd feel like these kids are the worst. They're so
Speaker 1: wishy washing, they draw hard that they cross it up
Speaker 1: thirty seconds later.
Speaker 2: They hate their French teacher. They're all miserable assholes. The
Speaker 2: only person who gets any respect and like people listen
Speaker 2: to is the hot trigonometer teacher, which you know, good
Speaker 2: like I don't approve of student teacher relationships, but like
Speaker 2: I'll give creed. So those girls were sitting through treg
Speaker 2: just to stare at this dude, like good.
Speaker 1: On you well, only blonde girl did that.
Speaker 2: Now there's some others, like there's a mother to watching.
Speaker 2: Oh also like so they so Chad and her breakup,
Speaker 2: there's another guy named Jeremy Frank.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what I was supposed to feel
Speaker 1: about their breakup because she didn't react to like the cheating.
Speaker 2: It's so utterly flaccid.
Speaker 1: I think for some reason, Chad believes her that she
Speaker 1: hooked up with someone else, and then he's mad, which
Speaker 1: makes no sense because he cheated.
Speaker 2: Well okay, I mean I can understand that, like from
Speaker 2: a misogynous, asshole kind of, you know, perspective.
Speaker 1: But that's the way I wanted to be, Like movie,
Speaker 1: tell me what to feel, I'll feel it. I'm very impressionable.
Speaker 2: But the thing is also like, it doesn't make sense
Speaker 2: to lie about like unless you're like trying to do
Speaker 2: like a one upmanship kind of thing, like you know,
Speaker 2: especially high school, you want to be like not you
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense because I don't think that's
Speaker 1: how most humans would react, like maybe after the initial shock,
Speaker 1: but presumably she would be shocked, right. She thinks they're
Speaker 1: still together. They drew the heart. They had the conversation
Speaker 1: about the cell phone reception. So the way she reacts
Speaker 1: is the way that you would presume someone would react
Speaker 1: after they had time to process, like oh, well, fuck you. You
Speaker 1: know you hurt me and guess what I cheated on YouTube?
Speaker 1: Not immediate, not oh my god, you cheated on me. Well,
Speaker 1: I cheated on you too. Also you're horrible and we're
Speaker 1: broken up. It doesn't make in the same way that
Speaker 1: we are not informed at all about Demi Moore and
Speaker 1: Thomas James failed marriage and now sneaking around. So they're
Speaker 1: sleeping together, but then Thomas Jane is seen out with someone,
Speaker 1: so then dem Mour confronts him because Fisher Stevens and
Speaker 1: Gina gershan are a couple friends too. To me, Moore
Speaker 1: and Gina Gershaan's like, oh my god, so's Thomas Jane
Speaker 1: out with a real bimbo And Demi Moore's like and
Speaker 1: Fisher Stevens is like, yo, don't tell her. And so
Speaker 1: when dem Moour later confronts Thomas Jane, she's like, are
Speaker 1: you seeing other people? And he's like, no, we're back together,
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh are we end? I've seen what
Speaker 1: am I supposed to feel? And then later it turns
Speaker 1: out he is sleeping with other people. Why dude, I care?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she didn't think they were back together, or did she?
Speaker 1: I don't know what to feel. This movie is having
Speaker 1: the opposite problem of how I usually feel about movies,
Speaker 1: where I'm like, you don't need to spoon feed me,
Speaker 1: not an idiot, And I'm like, no movie, really, write
Speaker 1: write it on the graffiti bathroom wall. For me, you
Speaker 1: were supposed to be upset then Miley lost the worst
Speaker 1: boyfriend ever, Chad. You were supposed to be upset. That
Speaker 1: to me, Moore lost a man. She's already divorced.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm gonna just say this about Chad, like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, are you in love with him?
Speaker 1: No, he's gonna break your heart.
Speaker 2: I normally don't call people.
Speaker 1: Also, his hair is styled strangely.
Speaker 2: He has like the looks of like a silly and Murphy,
Speaker 2: but like his hair makes him look so douche like.
Speaker 2: It's just like the worst.
Speaker 1: Scene where he had gone a little more psychotic with him. Okay,
Speaker 1: hear me out, hear me out.
Speaker 2: A listener, I just listeners.
Speaker 1: I just gave look, I'm sure they understood that from
Speaker 1: my response where I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2: But what if.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Chad is boring. Chat is personality lists.
Speaker 2: He's a personality a lot of other male podcasts has
Speaker 2: gone far out of it.
Speaker 1: Yes, but why is Miley attracted to him? We get
Speaker 1: why she's attracted to Kyle right, familiarity. He's a handsome guy,
Speaker 1: he's familiar and he seems to like her, and I
Speaker 1: guess they were working on a will they won't they? Thing?
Speaker 1: But I need Chad to be like repellent so that
Speaker 1: when she breaks up with him, but like charming. The
Speaker 1: thing is Chad is just kind of nothing. So when
Speaker 1: she's saying I love Chad, We're gonna be together forever,
Speaker 1: and then that's not true. I don't feel anything because
Speaker 1: there's nothing for me to like kind of stick my
Speaker 1: hooks into, Like what, why are you going to be
Speaker 1: together forever? What is like the will they won't they
Speaker 1: of Chad? And then so by the time she gets
Speaker 1: together with Kyle, and then she thinks that this shares
Speaker 1: a lot in common with the Entourage movie. All of
Speaker 1: the pranks are like pranks or upset or conflict you're
Speaker 1: based around usually with that person, Well, what if I did,
Speaker 1: but actually I didn't. Oh well I behage poorly because
Speaker 1: I thought you did well I didn't. Well, okay, this
Speaker 1: is not.
Speaker 2: Like come on, so like, I also just want to
Speaker 2: point out a scene.
Speaker 1: Give me a supernatural monster, make Chad a potential serial killer, make.
Speaker 2: Him aware of So I want to just talk about
Speaker 2: this utterly bizarre scene where she goes to the gray wall,
Speaker 2: which is a metaphor foris entire movie. It's just a
Speaker 2: gray wall that they are all lights.
Speaker 1: That you, the viewer, are supposed to project upon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he goes he goes to the gray wall
Speaker 2: because he Chad does. Yeah, okay, and he's just like, hey,
Speaker 2: can I talk to you real quick? And he propositioned
Speaker 2: to her like ten feet away from everyone.
Speaker 1: It is insane, and I think if they had leaned
Speaker 1: into this level of psychopathy, we'd have something LEAs continue.
Speaker 2: What do you do you remember was that movie with
Speaker 2: Maya Hawk and Kamela Mendez.
Speaker 1: Oh, the one where she says, this is shocking news,
Speaker 1: I'm shocked. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I love that line.
Speaker 1: I still have that clip on my phone and sometimes
Speaker 1: I just fly it. This is shocking.
Speaker 2: But like that guy was psychotic, and like when you
Speaker 2: found out towards the end of the movie that he
Speaker 2: was knowingly psychotic and not just like a hymnbo I
Speaker 2: was like, that's great, it's really good. This instead was
Speaker 2: just like Doe Revenge. That was it. Yeah, listener, don't
Speaker 2: watch this movie. Watch Due Revenge again. But like he's
Speaker 2: just kind of like you would expect him to be,
Speaker 2: like because like you know, that was we're still kind
Speaker 2: of in the indie rock phase that he'd be like
Speaker 2: using that to get girls and whatnot and all these things.
Speaker 1: That's the thing I feel like this movie does not
Speaker 1: commit to the bit on anything. Right, Like halfway through
Speaker 1: the movie, we find out that Anthony Michael Hall is
Speaker 1: a bad, horrible dad and he is Kyle's dad. Report
Speaker 1: cards come up at some point and it's like there's
Speaker 1: a lot of discussion about grades, but like not to
Speaker 1: any ends.
Speaker 2: We get a montage of people getting their report cards
Speaker 2: and Emily, the blonde friend who uh is in love
Speaker 2: with our teacher says.
Speaker 1: And her mom is in a whole bunch of stuff.
Speaker 1: She's a character actor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's like, like, you didn't make honor roll. Oh,
Speaker 2: She's like, I got one b I'm like, yeah, that's
Speaker 2: honor roll, like you know, Maya Cyrus is.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, when so this is Miley Cyrus. This
Speaker 1: is now that I know that Demi Moore gets upset
Speaker 1: about Miley Cyrus having sex. When Miley Cyrus says to
Speaker 1: blonde friend, Hey, my mom just bought us like a
Speaker 1: haul at Victoria's Secret and not all of it fits me.
Speaker 1: Do you want some blonde friends? Like yes, And so
Speaker 1: then she has it in her purse to go to
Speaker 1: not her purse, it's not all in her person, it's
Speaker 1: in her luggage to go to Paris underwear. So then
Speaker 1: her mom walks in and starts pulling the under around.
Speaker 1: I think this is supposed to be funny, but it's
Speaker 1: actually harrowing because her mom says, what is this an eyepatch?
Speaker 1: Good line because it's g strings And she says this
Speaker 1: is for bad girls who get bad grades and like
Speaker 1: don't go to college or something, which on the face
Speaker 1: of it, is like a funny thing to say. It's
Speaker 1: like that line in one out All after another where
Speaker 1: it's like we're against psychos and fascists and haters or something,
Speaker 1: punks and haters where it's like a stupid thing to say,
Speaker 1: but a very funny line. But then when you realize
Speaker 1: that this mother has been like really grinding her daughter
Speaker 1: down about grades and being anti sex and all that,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, well this is actually just depressing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So also, but speaking of the mom, like, okay, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I agree with like if you go wider with it
Speaker 2: then it would be funny.
Speaker 1: Yes, Like no one is allowed to be big in
Speaker 1: this film, and I think that's the thing that they need,
Speaker 1: is like for people to be taking big swings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this movie. But speaking of Emily's mom, let's
Speaker 2: talk about how this.
Speaker 1: Movie is Ora Dunn, that's Emily's mom, blonde friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's talk about how this movie spends about teens ostensively,
Speaker 2: has so much adult conversations and not talking.
Speaker 1: Every time they cut to the parents, I was like,
Speaker 1: why are we here again?
Speaker 2: We cut randomly to a demean More therapy session when
Speaker 2: she's talking to her.
Speaker 1: Therapist Frank, I miss that altogether. It happens more than
Speaker 1: once shut up what weg like?
Speaker 2: Who? The first scene is her mom is demean More
Speaker 2: being like could you say something other? And she goes,
Speaker 2: I must have.
Speaker 1: Wandered out of the room to get coffee. I have
Speaker 1: no recollection of this.
Speaker 2: Maybe your brain went to a few states to protect itself.
Speaker 1: I think it did. I think my body was like
Speaker 1: and now we dissociate.
Speaker 2: And I was like, or oscars, just like mother, I'm
Speaker 2: here and just started like dancing.
Speaker 1: Still came into the room at one point and I
Speaker 1: was like, this movie is so hard. He goes is
Speaker 1: it long? And I was like, no, there's like literally
Speaker 1: no reason for this to be as hard for me
Speaker 1: as it is.
Speaker 2: So like like we Also, when I say adult conversations,
Speaker 2: these adults are fully talking about their sex lives, and
Speaker 2: it's so weird.
Speaker 1: The adults talk more like teens than the teens do.
Speaker 2: So all of a sudden, at a certain point, Miley
Speaker 2: Cyrus comes. So this adult conversation goes on for like
Speaker 2: five or six minutes, and are.
Speaker 1: You talking about the therapy one or a different one?
Speaker 2: Different one? The therapy session is only there for like
Speaker 2: twenty seconds, so we can then make it a joke
Speaker 2: later when she's talking to Tomas Jane. So the adults
Speaker 2: are having conversations with this. I think Miley Cyrus comes
Speaker 2: in with Jeremy.
Speaker 1: Okay, that whole thing was bizarre. The friend, the other friend, the.
Speaker 2: Not the not Kyle friend.
Speaker 1: What was his whole deal? And he did not look
Speaker 1: dissimilar enough from Kyle that I did not confuse that.
Speaker 2: Like I was like, okay, I know.
Speaker 1: They needed him to make Kyle jealous. But he comes
Speaker 1: out of nowhere and she's like, hey, let's do it.
Speaker 1: Jery's like what, No, I don't want to do that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, finally a sane
Speaker 1: person who talks like a regular person. Because like the
Speaker 1: way this movie's written again so cynically, I expected to
Speaker 1: be like, you of course will want to do it.
Speaker 1: But Jeremy's like, stop being fucking weird, like we're getting hot,
Speaker 1: shut up.
Speaker 2: You know what honestly reminds me of DeBie from Never
Speaker 2: Have I Ever when she's trying to who's the hot
Speaker 2: guy she's trying to sleep with Paxon past it and
Speaker 2: he's just like, you know, you're too weird to have
Speaker 2: sex with yes, so like and like, they have a
Speaker 2: conversation about her getting a vestment, which, honestly, as I was,
Speaker 2: getting vestment would have improved this movie.
Speaker 1: It would have been so much more interesting.
Speaker 2: Like and then we also get a scene where the
Speaker 2: mom is like, oh, coming out of a courtroom, her
Speaker 2: heel breaks.
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, where is this going? Because and
Speaker 1: this is I think really a testament to what a
Speaker 1: good actor to me more is because imagine being given
Speaker 1: such a clunky line of exposition where you're like, I
Speaker 1: got a ticket and these asshole cops and da da,
Speaker 1: we have no lead up to this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like and they are rich.
Speaker 1: Rich because I don't know if they're in Chicago or
Speaker 1: they're in Chicago.
Speaker 2: They have a car, yeah, and like they have like
Speaker 2: they have like a what do you call that a
Speaker 2: moon shaped driveway? Okay, yeah, the half circle that you
Speaker 2: can like you don't have to like reverse out of,
Speaker 2: like and they just leave their car there, like is
Speaker 2: there a valet? What is happening? Like? So like he's
Speaker 2: just like, hey, hey girl, what's up? Like you know,
Speaker 2: I'm Jay Hernandez, I'm really hot. I'm also a cop.
Speaker 2: Do you want to get in the back of my
Speaker 2: dude Ducati bike.
Speaker 1: She's like, cops are such assholes and they give you
Speaker 1: tickets and they're just trying to make my life where
Speaker 1: it's like really sovereign citizen level complaining about this thing.
Speaker 1: And then he's She's like, what about your helmet? You
Speaker 1: know how they are? And then a coup pulls up
Speaker 1: and goes, oh, good afternoon, detective, and she's like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: you're a coup. And then did you notice the way
Speaker 1: she was riding on this vestiva. She is in heels,
Speaker 1: she's in a trench coat, and I'm trying. I stood
Speaker 1: up so I could show Frank her legs are crossed.
Speaker 1: I can't even do this by the coffee table to Yes,
Speaker 1: she's sitting with her legs crossed on this like this,
Speaker 1: holding out to him. I was like, that stunt person
Speaker 1: is holding on for their life.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So also like I forgot about.
Speaker 1: The least intuitive way to ride a motorcycle ever.
Speaker 2: The scene before this is like we're shown that Kyle
Speaker 2: has a shitty dad who only cares about his grades.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Anthony Michael Hall, well, like he's just not I'm
Speaker 1: sorry I didn't bring up I said that like you're retreating.
Speaker 1: I never went anywhere with it because it doesn't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: Do they play out in the end of the film, Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my.
Speaker 2: God, is he a no his dad when he wins
Speaker 2: an I mean, when he wins the Battle of the
Speaker 2: band's unless a record deal, his dad falling, except that
Speaker 2: he wants to do music.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought you were going to say
Speaker 1: his dad like burns the place down.
Speaker 2: No, that'll makes it way more interesting because that's.
Speaker 1: What we've been led to believe he would do.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I mean, Kyle's like, Kyle's like, hey, dad,
Speaker 2: you know I got into Battle of the Bands. You're
Speaker 2: like pass the salt, and Kyle like slides the salt
Speaker 2: across the thing. And I'm I don't want to say,
Speaker 2: like rich people don't have problems, but it's like it's.
Speaker 1: Hard to like nobody in this movie has real problems.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, because like we're they're in front of
Speaker 2: a gorgeous penthouse window at sunset, and I'm just like,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Kyle, but your dad saying I want you
Speaker 2: to pay attention to your grades over a band that's
Speaker 2: essentially a pipe dream because you're not very talented. Kyle.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Like I said, that song was very catchy, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: disagree with you.
Speaker 2: The last song was not like they are one hit
Speaker 2: wonder at best.
Speaker 1: I would say I don't support you being in a
Speaker 1: band with Chad, who's like.
Speaker 2: A soul suck Chad. Chad is gonna like Chad is
Speaker 2: reminds me of who is that that then guy from
Speaker 2: the nineteen seventy five that dated and Taylor's oh yeah,
Speaker 2: where like he just started he started like is.
Speaker 1: He dating like Charlie XCX now who knows?
Speaker 2: I just remember there's a point where at a concert
Speaker 2: he started saying like not a racist, but oh god,
Speaker 2: and then sensing danger, the band started playing as loudly
Speaker 2: as they could and drown him out.
Speaker 1: They're like, bruh, this is our meal ticket and you
Speaker 1: are really trying to undo that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, like Chad is definitely going to say something
Speaker 2: when the Me Too movement comes out and it's gonna
Speaker 2: open up a whole deck of college.
Speaker 1: He's already saying all this terrible stuff about women.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we're gonna get into the back half of
Speaker 2: this movie. Oh and I'm gonna talk about when right
Speaker 2: take a quick trick to the bake sale. Okay, So
Speaker 2: it's another character named when. When is kind of like
Speaker 2: a very pro like Okay, do you remember remember this character? Yeah,
Speaker 2: because he's wait, wait, he's the dark haired kid.
Speaker 1: Yo, he's from the Step Up movies. They have him
Speaker 1: doing a little dance of this. He does it on
Speaker 1: the bathroom floor. It's gross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a sex pest.
Speaker 1: He's literally a sex pest in this movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's the worst.
Speaker 1: And Frank was about to say he's super cool.
Speaker 2: No, like he's so confounding. Like, I guess he's supposed
Speaker 2: to be the comedy relief because in French class he's like,
Speaker 2: I have a whole sub, I'm gonna eat a sub
Speaker 2: and the French you just like I swear to Christ
Speaker 2: I'm gonna burn this place down and then cancel the
Speaker 2: French trip of the Parish trip. There's a Paris trip
Speaker 2: in this We even mentioned it before, Like, oh, the.
Speaker 1: Parish trip is so problematic.
Speaker 2: The parastrip is a problematic and boring. Somehow how do
Speaker 2: you how do you do both of this thing? I'm
Speaker 2: selling the weeds the Parst trip the movie.
Speaker 1: Like if you think that what we're talking about is
Speaker 1: boring and inconsequential, you're right. And then this movie really
Speaker 1: bogs down once they go to Paris. So it's this
Speaker 1: is what is so confusing about this. We have forgotten
Speaker 1: nothing happens in this movie, but we've forgotten to mention
Speaker 1: things that have happened. So like there is a party, and.
Speaker 2: Sorry, before we talk about that, I also need to
Speaker 2: talk about this confounding scene that makes no goddamn sense.
Speaker 1: So wait, we're not in Paris yet, right, No, we're
Speaker 1: not in Paris yet, okay, because we need to mention
Speaker 1: why the Parish trip is in peril. Yeah, or like
Speaker 1: thirty seconds.
Speaker 2: Okay, before that, Emily has this confounding scene.
Speaker 1: Is this in the supermarket?
Speaker 2: No, it's even worse than that. Okay, Like Emily is
Speaker 2: chatting with a dude on a I guess it's like
Speaker 2: their version of o'negal, where you see the person and
Speaker 2: you can chat with them, and like she's clearly talking
Speaker 2: to an older guy and he's like, oh wow, you're
Speaker 2: so bad, and she's like takes her little camera up
Speaker 2: to her lips and then down and then into a
Speaker 2: raw chicken.
Speaker 1: My god, I definitely was out of the room for
Speaker 1: this because then I walked back and please the room
Speaker 1: this raw chicken just with her bare hands, and like
Speaker 1: her mom again, Nora, what's her name is? Like, where's
Speaker 1: my chicken? Where's my chicken? She takes this chicken and
Speaker 1: puts it in her little brother's room. Her mom comes
Speaker 1: in with a towel because she has the good sense
Speaker 1: to not just be handling this chicken, and says to
Speaker 1: her brother, the brother I knew you had, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I hate it here, and I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: even gonna rewind. I don't even care why this habits.
Speaker 2: If you if like, if you like slowed down that
Speaker 2: dialogue and isolated it and all these incidents, like you
Speaker 2: could put this on a true Cry podcast for real.
Speaker 2: So because she inserts our camera into the chicken like
Speaker 2: it's a like a sex thing and it's just in
Speaker 2: her bed.
Speaker 1: It's in her bed. That woman has salmonilla. Ron friend
Speaker 1: is rife with salmonilla, and trigonometry teacher is so right
Speaker 1: besides the fact that it's illegal, it's a moral and
Speaker 1: it's wrong. He should not get Samonella from her.
Speaker 2: So I just want we get a montage at a
Speaker 2: certain point, we get a montage of Kyle and Milesys's friendship.
Speaker 2: These are okay, which these are my notes on it. Wait,
Speaker 2: she sent a smile and now they're dating. I don't know,
Speaker 2: nobody ever says they're dating.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so we see an aim conversation that is nothing.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, hey, what's up with you? Nothing? Hey Kyle, Yeah,
Speaker 1: smiley face close his computer, satisfied. So I am dying
Speaker 1: to know what the two of them were told was
Speaker 1: going to be on the screen when they were filming this,
Speaker 1: because I almost guarantee it's not what's actually put in
Speaker 1: in post.
Speaker 2: So these are the notes I have on this montage.
Speaker 2: Montage is annoying. Just coming around to the platform. Call
Speaker 2: your air guitar sucks, No one, You're gonna lose the
Speaker 2: Battle of the bands.
Speaker 1: They were totally like go and Vamp and we're gonna
Speaker 1: do a bunch of b roll for the montage about
Speaker 1: how you guys are together. How much can you do
Speaker 1: that will look cool or interesting on the subway platform
Speaker 1: at a.
Speaker 2: Certain point to be cut to an ad that because
Speaker 2: this movie was so like insane, I thought it was
Speaker 2: just like a part of the movie, but it was
Speaker 2: like a movie. There is an ad where there was
Speaker 2: several people of color at a funeral, and that's how
Speaker 2: I knew it wasn't part of the movie.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this movie is so whitewashed, like insanely whitewashed.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So okay, So after the bizarre Oh my stars
Speaker 2: hates post it, they constantly are just shit talking her.
Speaker 2: I'm just like she just like she just wants to
Speaker 2: hang out with dudes. It's fun. Who cares.
Speaker 1: She doesn't do anything. I mean, she's not written with
Speaker 1: a personality, but she also doesn't do anything that we see.
Speaker 2: I think she like kind of throws some trash back
Speaker 2: at Moley, not like literally throwst trash, but like, you know,
Speaker 2: at a certain point, also, Chad and I am.
Speaker 1: Shocked this movie does not have a food fight. Was
Speaker 1: there a food fight in the last twenty minutes?
Speaker 2: No, Chad and Miley get into a fistfight at certain point.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she like attacks him because he's like, so
Speaker 1: are we gonna do it? And she's like no, yeah no,
Speaker 1: and he's like, but you've already done it again, like
Speaker 1: why did you believe?
Speaker 2: And then like she refuses to like she refuses to
Speaker 2: tell her mom that's why she got. That's why she got,
Speaker 2: like you know, in the fight with Chaz because he
Speaker 2: called her a hoe. Yeah, so okay, like it just
Speaker 2: and then like Demi, he's like your Chad. He said
Speaker 2: that she's not my Chad anymore. I'm like, of course
Speaker 2: this guy's the name is Chad, all right, So now
Speaker 2: we have a party. Yes, Demi Moore is going on
Speaker 2: a trip with her ex husband, but they're supposed to
Speaker 2: be sneaking around. He's sissy when you're sneaking around. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like with you know in this hype of thing ex
Speaker 2: husband Thomas Shee Yes. Okay, how would you avoid your
Speaker 2: children knowing you're going on a trivia your ex husband?
Speaker 2: Would you a take a taxi to like a few
Speaker 2: blocks away and meet him there? B not have him
Speaker 2: get out of the car and help you hit your
Speaker 2: luggage in front of your children? Or see would you
Speaker 2: have him get out of the car in front of
Speaker 2: your children and then help you with your luggage.
Speaker 1: I'd obviously have him parachute into the house and then
Speaker 1: kool aid man through the roof.
Speaker 2: He's like, you remember when I was punisher that one time?
Speaker 1: Yes, and then I'd be like, oh, you actually mean
Speaker 1: that guy John Barenthal. So no, who was actually not
Speaker 1: the punisher that I thought should be the front Frank Grillo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Miley's being left of her grandma, Uh yeah,
Speaker 2: and like you know, they were like, oh, trying to
Speaker 2: get her out the door and all these things. I
Speaker 2: don't know where the other two children are. I just
Speaker 2: I don't know where the other two children are. Not Yeah,
Speaker 2: And She's like, are you trying to get rid of me?
Speaker 2: I'm just like you're going on a trip. Like they're
Speaker 2: just trying to get you out the door. And Miley's like,
Speaker 2: I want to have thirty friends over she throws a party. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And like there's a weird scene where they're getting the
Speaker 2: grandma drunk on like Mitchella beer. But like, do you.
Speaker 1: Mean michelo michell? Do you have that with quinch?
Speaker 2: Okay? Quinch is a far more confusing way for me
Speaker 2: to pronounced that word. There's no n in kiche. There's
Speaker 2: no n in keich, right, Okay. So it is still
Speaker 2: still not my most embarrassing misconception about alcohol. When I
Speaker 2: used to say, give me a rum and scotch, what
Speaker 2: would be disgusting? And also when I read about champagne
Speaker 2: flutes in the book called Mountain at this fancy party,
Speaker 2: I didn't think, oh, that's just what you call the
Speaker 2: long stemmed glasses.
Speaker 1: Stop that you thought they were.
Speaker 2: I thought all their fingers working over.
Speaker 1: That is amazing.
Speaker 2: Why did they do that? It's a different time. I'm
Speaker 2: an idiot.
Speaker 1: So when you imagine how full of spit.
Speaker 2: Is. Okay, so this party is not even that. Okay,
Speaker 2: gives this movie credit. This is a realistic party. It
Speaker 2: looks like it kind of sucks.
Speaker 1: They're not raucous.
Speaker 2: There's two dudes sitting on the couch like they're trying
Speaker 2: to hook up with the grandma. Like who doesn't look
Speaker 2: old enough to like be to me Moore's mom, But
Speaker 2: so like they get her drunk and then like the
Speaker 2: party goes on. Kyle and may Cyrus don't have sex,
Speaker 2: but they go make out with her shirt off and
Speaker 2: his shirt off. There's like a lot of giggling, which, okay,
Speaker 2: you know what, that would be cute if it was
Speaker 2: anybody else. Yeah, like in any other.
Speaker 1: Movie, if this movie hadn't already spent all of the goodwill,
Speaker 1: the very little good will it had.
Speaker 2: So Thomas Jane and Demi Moore were going on some
Speaker 2: kind of trip. But I guess at like midnight, dem
Speaker 2: Moore is like, you know what, I'm gonna go home.
Speaker 1: She figured out he was sleeping with other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like she arrives home, the house is a mess.
Speaker 2: Man Cyrus still finds a way to like like do
Speaker 2: a Judo reverse flip and like storm into her bedroom.
Speaker 2: And also Mansarus is cleaning up like all.
Speaker 1: These she's the debris from the party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not like a garbage bag, which I'm sure
Speaker 2: they have, and just like a Chinese food bag. And
Speaker 2: also somebody was putting out there like cigarettes in the pizza,
Speaker 2: which is disgusting.
Speaker 1: And then her sister's like, mom, why is Miley cleaning?
Speaker 1: And this is like some real rich person problems where
Speaker 1: it's like I've never seen anyone in the house clean.
Speaker 2: Also, Deman Moore finds a roach and I'm just kind
Speaker 2: of like, oh, yeah, we used to care about weed,
Speaker 2: like it used to be a problem. She's like, your
Speaker 2: daughter's on drugs. Let's say. When when and Emily have
Speaker 2: this confounding conversation about his T shirt, She's just like
Speaker 2: it is advantageous, Like I don't know, do I have
Speaker 2: this shirt. I'm just like it seems like a waste
Speaker 2: of time. Then it turns out they're hooking up in
Speaker 2: the school's bathroom and disgusting. Oh, and so the parish
Speaker 2: trip has been horrendously like like mally sars or do
Speaker 2: me more? Is like you can't go on the parish trip? Yeah,
Speaker 2: and also I'm taking your laptop and phone. You're grounded
Speaker 2: for a month time for a confounding and terrible drug
Speaker 2: assembly where Detective Jay Hernandez is gonna come in and
Speaker 2: insult the principle to her student, Bibi, do you know.
Speaker 1: What prolonged drug use does? Picture of the principle? The
Speaker 1: Principal's like such rhyme all jokes, how I would be like,
Speaker 1: get out?
Speaker 2: How did you feel?
Speaker 1: Like just because it's true doesn't mean it's not mean.
Speaker 2: She's like, do you know what I have I have
Speaker 2: to do with these idiots? Yeah? I have when eating
Speaker 2: sandwiches class like oh well, here's where people are with
Speaker 2: listening to the teacher. And also it's mid days as
Speaker 2: a mid day assembly and there's so many parents in attendance.
Speaker 1: To me more is there?
Speaker 2: And like other parents are there?
Speaker 1: Can you imagine her taking off time from her high
Speaker 1: powered job to be like I need to go to
Speaker 1: a DARE assembly.
Speaker 2: I have fourteen like pato days a year. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: use one to go to one DARE assembly. Yes, McGruff
Speaker 2: isn't even there.
Speaker 1: It turns out that DARE was almost like a pyramid
Speaker 1: scheme for the cops, and that you like, cops got
Speaker 1: paid time to go be Dare ambassadors or whatever, and
Speaker 1: the more cops you recruited, you got bonuses. So it
Speaker 1: was like they got to do like work in the
Speaker 1: community quote unquote and got paid the rate they would
Speaker 1: you know. So I was like, oh, well that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah. At a certain point, somebody writes, I missed you too,
Speaker 2: but kepital U two, and I was like, I want
Speaker 2: to what Bombo's up to.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be amazing if he was watching the movie
Speaker 1: at the same time and it's like, your soul's touched.
Speaker 2: So okay, we get a we get the jay Hernanda
Speaker 2: says to mean more, you know what I'm calling him.
Speaker 1: It's really ironic that after the DARE assembly he's like,
Speaker 1: let's go get a glass of wine. And he's like,
Speaker 1: I didn't ask we're getting a glass of wine.
Speaker 2: It's like, it's chilling, sir.
Speaker 1: You are the DARE ambassador.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a question. I'm telling you, I'm buying a
Speaker 2: drink I'm buying you a drink like.
Speaker 1: Run I'd feel like, sir, my ex husband is the
Speaker 1: punisher and he's like, well, I'm oh gosh, what was
Speaker 1: his name in Suicide Squad? Explicivo no l Diablo? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was close.
Speaker 2: You just weren't racist enough.
Speaker 1: I was thinking of that Tenacious D song explosemo.
Speaker 2: Okay, So now Emily's gonna be the worst friend so.
Speaker 1: And like kind of hateful to the person that she's
Speaker 1: involved with.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So when and Emily are hooking up in the bathroom,
Speaker 2: and the way the suck on the door, I guess
Speaker 2: is that Emily's probably very expensive bag is sitting on
Speaker 2: the floor of the bathroom of the men's room. Even worse,
Speaker 2: what like they finished hooking up and she's like, you
Speaker 2: can't tell anyone, and Wends is like, all right, cool,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do the splits on the men's.
Speaker 1: Room floor because he was in Step up too, Step
Speaker 1: up to the streets and step up.
Speaker 2: Three day, Miley Cyrus, I guess sees post It and
Speaker 2: Kyle leave a bathroom.
Speaker 1: No, she sees posted walking down the hall, and because
Speaker 1: she saw the purse, she assumes it her. What is
Speaker 1: that character's name. I don't want to call her post it.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Ashley Green Alice from Twilight, and so.
Speaker 2: Her name is Ashley. Oh right, Ashley playing Ashley.
Speaker 1: So she Miley Cyrus confronts Ashley, and Ashley's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, you know, sometimes you just feel like doing
Speaker 1: very loud, doing whatever. So Miley Cyrus is like, right.
Speaker 2: How dare you be open with your sexuality and then comfortable.
Speaker 1: Ask Kyle any follow up questions?
Speaker 2: It just as like you talk, Yeah, it makes no sense,
Speaker 2: Like it's just the most confounding thing.
Speaker 1: Frank Is said, confounding no less than two dozen times.
Speaker 2: Okay, So then uh like okay, So then like Marie's
Speaker 2: at home crying still. I was like, were they ever
Speaker 2: like together, she says, making assumptions. Kyle's like, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: walk side by side with Chad down the hall and
Speaker 2: purposely ignore Mave Cyrus.
Speaker 1: Well, Miley also tells blonde friend that they're going to
Speaker 1: ignore them. Brunette friend nowhere in the patients.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so like here's where Emily is a garbage friend?
Speaker 2: Where because like Marie's just like, I'm not talking to
Speaker 2: Kyle anymore. He's the worst I hate him. I saw
Speaker 2: like the she explains all the other purse, Emily doesn't
Speaker 2: come clean. I'm like, Emily, you don't even have to
Speaker 2: say it's when you can just say you were hooking
Speaker 2: with somebody in the band's room. It's fine.
Speaker 1: So, because this movie is slutshamy and weird, she cannot
Speaker 1: and does not.
Speaker 2: Say that they use the like, am I allowed to say? Yes?
Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna say, like they call women the esler
Speaker 2: all the time. Yeah, like they use it liberally. So
Speaker 2: because she's sad, okay, you know, I will get like
Speaker 2: I guess kind of, I'll give Jay hear Nanza's his
Speaker 2: character some credit where he he says to Tom Moore
Speaker 2: where he's like, like, I've seen a lot of bad kids.
Speaker 2: She sounds pretty normal. She's just like, you know, testing
Speaker 2: her boundaries. I'm like, you know what, that's somewhat reasonable.
Speaker 1: But this make a difference.
Speaker 2: Now it's this weird floating timeline where I'm like, is
Speaker 2: this still the drug Assembly? I'm unsure how much time
Speaker 2: has passed.
Speaker 1: Jay Hernandez is just a hinting about her daughter at
Speaker 1: the Drug Assembly. He's like, hey, everyone, take a knee.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about.
Speaker 2: Your daughter, where he keeps getting up for every word
Speaker 2: he says. During that sentence to me More, he gets
Speaker 2: up and turns a chair backwards and in front it backwards.
Speaker 2: It's like, well, the thing is screwed.
Speaker 1: She ended up marrying j her NaN's character Susy.
Speaker 2: There's the movie begins as it ends with them them
Speaker 2: hugging together in a bed. And here's the thing. If, like,
Speaker 2: if you have a relationship with your parent as a
Speaker 2: teen where sometimes you just want to feel the comfortable
Speaker 2: another person near you, that's perfectly fine. What made it
Speaker 2: weird for me was the fact that she like texted
Speaker 2: her mom just like hug Oh my god. Right.
Speaker 1: I didn't understand why that happened. I was just like,
Speaker 1: why is she texting her mom to come into her bed?
Speaker 2: Like also, I can't.
Speaker 1: Like they had just gotten into a fight.
Speaker 2: I can like tell this movie is written by a
Speaker 2: man because it's like nine pm and me More is
Speaker 2: like doing work in bed and like she you know,
Speaker 2: takes a bra off, taking her shirt off, like this
Speaker 2: is written by you know, a woman, but probably come
Speaker 2: off the minute she got home.
Speaker 1: And I guess so I'm not gonna like nitpick the
Speaker 1: movie to that degree.
Speaker 2: So she gets to she gets gets to go to Paris.
Speaker 2: Everything should be fine. Her mom gives her a Pandora ring.
Speaker 2: I'm not super sure about, Juliet. Is Pandora like an
Speaker 2: expensive brand? Okay, it's tacky, all right, So that's.
Speaker 1: Why it was like so product placement and the whole
Speaker 1: thing comes out of nowhere where she's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: thank you so much.
Speaker 2: I love it. Miley Cyrus. I've seen her and other stuff.
Speaker 2: She's a pretty good actress, Like she just did pan
Speaker 2: that line, because.
Speaker 1: Like the other thing is, people in their tax bracket
Speaker 1: would not be buying Pandora jewelry.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we get the plane ride over. Emily is
Speaker 2: hanging out with Mallory Miley. She goes up to get
Speaker 2: them much drink, which I'm like, I don't well.
Speaker 1: She turns to Miley and she says, why are you
Speaker 1: so mad at me? And Miley It says, and this
Speaker 1: is one of the few scenes that makes sense. I
Speaker 1: would never do what you did to me, and you
Speaker 1: could have just told me, but you chose not to
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm just like, when did we have the
Speaker 2: discussion about what happened. Oh we didn't.
Speaker 1: No, she did tell her. Oh, like, after everything falls
Speaker 1: apart with Kyle and then Miley is doing the weird
Speaker 1: thing where she's trying to meet Kyle jealous with Jeremy,
Speaker 1: and then blonde friend is like, oh, actually that wasn't Kyle,
Speaker 1: it was me, and I couldn't tell you because it
Speaker 1: was RN.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that happens after. That happens after Kyle and
Speaker 2: her get back together, because Kyle comes over and starts
Speaker 2: kissing Molly's shoulder and Emily just kind of smiles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that the repair happens with them before they
Speaker 1: go to Paris.
Speaker 2: When they're in bed together. Because no, because I remember
Speaker 2: them commenting on the deer head when they're in bed together,
Speaker 2: and that's in Paris, and they're also complaining about the temperature.
Speaker 2: I'm like, girls, you're from Chicago, you know what cold is.
Speaker 1: No, I was talking about between her and Kyle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember them ever having conversation.
Speaker 2: The nearest I can tell is they were she near.
Speaker 2: They can tell. He's like, I'm gonna come over. Can
Speaker 2: I come over and talk to you? And she's like sure,
Speaker 2: and his dad comes in holding two baggies, one of
Speaker 2: weed and one of cocaine. And he's just like, who
Speaker 2: brought this into my house? And he's like like, you
Speaker 2: don't get that. You don't get this. You don't get
Speaker 2: this computer or this phone. No more guitar. He smashes
Speaker 2: the guitar. Well this weed and cocaine ever come up again? No?
Speaker 2: And like, and Molly starts is like, I've waited for
Speaker 2: you for an hour. She's still in the exact same spot,
Speaker 2: so I'm assuming she's just laid there like thrown like
Speaker 2: Juliette waiting for her Romeo. She's like, I've never talked
Speaker 2: to you again.
Speaker 1: I feel like this movie fried Marraine because I could
Speaker 1: have sworn. But you're right, there's no formal makeup.
Speaker 2: He just comes over and she's wearing a tank top
Speaker 2: on the plane, and he just starts lightly kissing her shoulder, which,
Speaker 2: once again, probably if I actually gave a shit about
Speaker 2: these characters, could have been sweet. I just thought it
Speaker 2: was gross and tacky. Yeah, so they get they get
Speaker 2: to apparently an outlying village of Paris. Everybody's like, I
Speaker 2: want to go home, Like, why are we in a
Speaker 2: tiny village? Yeah, let's go to a bunch of like
Speaker 2: French stereotypes. Emily and brunette girl who I don't think
Speaker 2: anything happens with are forced to eat s cargo, but
Speaker 2: they're give it. Like there's a French man dual wielding wines.
Speaker 2: Is like one white, one red. Yeah. Like, there's a
Speaker 2: bunch of ablest stuff with Kyle and his friend at
Speaker 2: the house. They're saying, I don't really want to talk
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: It was horrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a bunch of like jokes expect from
Speaker 2: an early Auts movie. Yeah, and then we get a
Speaker 2: Paris montage.
Speaker 1: Where okay, this is about the time. I wait, have
Speaker 1: they all slept together yet?
Speaker 2: No, that that's coming up after the montage. Okay, so
Speaker 2: we get a montage the girls are trying on clothes.
Speaker 2: They're going to expensive boutiques. An older man is smiling
Speaker 2: at Emily.
Speaker 1: What is her deal?
Speaker 2: Her deal is? Like I think the guy who wrote
Speaker 2: this also wrote the original where like, you know, like
Speaker 2: European movies are like this beautiful woman definitely wants to
Speaker 2: kind of sit with this doe older man who has
Speaker 2: no personality and is very much an asshole, Like, you know,
Speaker 2: I wait, this is written and direcverybody Lisa Azuela's that
Speaker 2: doesn't make sense, Like there's part of me that wants
Speaker 2: to watch the original one, like just to see if
Speaker 2: it's any better, because it has to beg I mean,
Speaker 2: I'll do that as an extra crup So. So yeah,
Speaker 2: so we get the we get the montage. Now everybody's
Speaker 2: at now he's at their houses. No, okay, So this
Speaker 2: is where we have the conversation with Emily and Mari
Speaker 2: about rehn o when and it's just like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I can't stay mad you but ell gross when.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So now now it's just like everybody's like hopping beds
Speaker 2: and whatnot. Kyle invites Mally over to the house he's
Speaker 2: staying at, like, you know, they pretend Molly Size is
Speaker 2: death mute for some reason.
Speaker 1: Even though she is responding to the entire conversation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a garbage show. And this is another
Speaker 2: confounding part where Emily like Emily, the couple at Emily
Speaker 2: stay with them. The woman goes to check on Molly
Speaker 2: Cyrus and when Emily is just like, there's somebody's snoring
Speaker 2: in the bed, and Emily's, oh, there's Molly Cyrus and
Speaker 2: she gets in the bed and when is there? How
Speaker 2: did he get in this house? And he's wearing a
Speaker 2: shirt with fake muscles like audience, if you've ever seen
Speaker 2: the rest of development where George Michael is wearing the
Speaker 2: muscle suit to pretend to be like some kind of
Speaker 2: like major scene or something, it's.
Speaker 1: No, it's from the Sistine Chapel painting of God.
Speaker 2: And yeah, and he's pretending it's his muscles, that's what
Speaker 2: when is wearing. This is not explained at all. This
Speaker 2: does not make any sense.
Speaker 1: She says, nice muscles and hops into bed with him.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So then Paris is just over. We're done with Paris.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, So I saw all of Paris except that
Speaker 1: Miley and Kyle sleep together and.
Speaker 2: This where's Jeremy who can say?
Speaker 5: And this is just to posed against me Moore and
Speaker 5: Jay Hernandez sleeping together, and it is so awful because
Speaker 5: Miley says, it's my first time to Kyle.
Speaker 1: And this has played like this so romantic, and then
Speaker 1: to me Moore says to Jay Hernandez, it's my first
Speaker 1: time since the divorce. These scenes are juxtaposed against each
Speaker 1: other cut cut. It reminded me so much of the
Speaker 1: scene in Jennifer's Body where Amanda Siphery's character is sleeping
Speaker 1: with her boyfriendship and at the same time having flashes
Speaker 1: of Megan Fox's character Jennifer devouring a man, because I
Speaker 1: was like, I had the same sort of level of
Speaker 1: like bodily horror watching it.
Speaker 2: So okay, Sizzy, this movie is about to just go nuts.
Speaker 1: And Frank's gonna have to take over from here because.
Speaker 2: I gave up. So Miley gets back from Paris and
Speaker 2: like it says to it says like Demean Moore is like, ohaspurs,
Speaker 2: that was good. Yeah, how is your how's your take?
Speaker 2: It was good. They don't say anything. There's barely anything
Speaker 2: that happens. Scene done. Oh and like okay, sorry before
Speaker 2: this because it's important to the plot. Moley borrowed a
Speaker 2: sweater from Demeanmoor or stole a sweater from.
Speaker 1: De Memoir, a Cashmere sweater again rich person.
Speaker 2: Problems, and Molly on the way back is thinking, now
Speaker 2: I know it's like to love someone so much it hurts.
Speaker 1: What.
Speaker 2: So they get back, Demean Moore is looking for her
Speaker 2: sweater and she looks into the bed and finds Miley
Speaker 2: Cyrus's diary. She then proceeds to read the entire diary
Speaker 2: because of course it falls open right to the page
Speaker 2: with the taped in condom wrapper bookmark. Gross, and there's
Speaker 2: also a titsy World bookmark like two world wrapper bookmark.
Speaker 2: This also, I was like, looking through the diary, there's
Speaker 2: very little prose written in it, despite how often we
Speaker 2: cut to her writing in it and narrating what's going
Speaker 2: on in the movie, which should have been used to
Speaker 2: tell us what's happening in the movie.
Speaker 1: It does not for motivations or how anyone's feeling.
Speaker 2: Kyle's dad is like, I'm sending you to military school,
Speaker 2: so he's say goodbye to this. And once again, it's
Speaker 2: really hard to like sympathize with these people when they're
Speaker 2: sending these giant rooms, like like you know, because he's
Speaker 2: sitting in this beautiful room and all these things, and
Speaker 2: then there's a whole thing. Then there is a scene
Speaker 2: where they're dissecting pigs and while this movie never end,
Speaker 2: Chad is on his like you know, misogynistic bowl crap,
Speaker 2: and like Miley comes to Ashley's defense, and I guess
Speaker 2: they're friends now, doesn't because then they're they're passing out
Speaker 2: flights of the Battle of the Bands, and it's just like,
Speaker 2: who could care? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean, is it played like a triumphant moment?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. Okay uh oh. And while while
Speaker 2: they're while they're dissecting the pigs, Kyless like have a
Speaker 2: little heart and holds up a pig's hard. It's horrific.
Speaker 2: Then there's a whole thing about they want to bring
Speaker 2: Kyle's band over to practice. It takes like two or
Speaker 2: three minutes, and just like, how are we gonna end
Speaker 2: this movie? We're gonna end this movie the Battle of
Speaker 2: the Bands because we've been talking nonsul about it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: It doesn't it doesn't matter at all. And eventually, like
Speaker 2: we see the forms of the Battle of the Bands,
Speaker 2: they sing two songs They're not good. May just ends
Speaker 2: up back in bed with me more. They like hug
Speaker 2: it out credits.
Speaker 1: Frank, how much movie do you think? This movie made? Like?
Speaker 2: Ten million dollars?
Speaker 1: Have you looked it up? No, you are totally right,
Speaker 1: ten point four million dollars on an eleven million dollar budget.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad it didn't make his money back. It
Speaker 2: didn't deserve it.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing. I don't know if it was
Speaker 1: as true at the time, but usually movies spend about
Speaker 1: as much on advertised as they do on the actual budget,
Speaker 1: or at least half as much. So yeah, this movie
Speaker 1: lost money.
Speaker 2: So next week we're gonna.
Speaker 1: Do domestic box office forty six thousand dollars. That is,
Speaker 1: it made most of its money overseas.
Speaker 2: Wow. I mean, well, the thing is, like, I think
Speaker 2: I think the main problem. Okay, so here's how I
Speaker 2: knew about this movie, and I think this is what
Speaker 2: is the main problem with this movie is I remember
Speaker 2: the trailer for this movie being my size texting on
Speaker 2: her bed and she says, my name is Lola, but
Speaker 2: everybody calls me lull. And I think the problem with
Speaker 2: that is that everyone heard that heard it for the
Speaker 2: cynical bullshit it was, and we're like, I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: go watch this movie.
Speaker 1: Coverage one week run per theater, so and it was
Speaker 1: only in one hundred theaters.
Speaker 2: I can only imagine in each of those theaters there's
Speaker 2: like two or three people. Like movie prices were like
Speaker 2: still like ten dollars. So let's say seven days, one
Speaker 2: hundred theaters, seven hundred movie theaters or yeah, yeah, like
Speaker 2: seven hundred what.
Speaker 1: Do you mean one hundred theaters it's one per screen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, like I'm trying seven hundred, seven hundred movie theaters.
Speaker 2: Assume me three hundred screens in total over seven days.
Speaker 1: Let's say it played three times a day in one
Speaker 1: hundred theaters times a week. That's twenty two hundred screenings.
Speaker 1: And so then if we divide that into forty six thousand,
Speaker 1: so about twenty people or no, twenty dollars, so about
Speaker 1: two people screening went to see it.
Speaker 2: Yeah that makes sense. So yeah, next week I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do the last song. Yeah, it's a Nicolas Sparks movie.
Speaker 2: He's kind of somehow like.
Speaker 1: And I promised to finish it because I bailed on
Speaker 1: this one.
Speaker 2: He's gonna somehow talk about how like it's related to
Speaker 2: World War two, because that's what he doesn't every one
Speaker 2: of his goddamn books. It's like, I can't stop bull
Speaker 2: riding this horrific practice, and it's somehow related to World
Speaker 2: War two when we were fighting the greatest threat to democracy.
Speaker 1: I mean, makes sense when you really think about it,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. So if you'd like to write.
Speaker 2: It, it's just I want to I do love love
Speaker 2: like I love, I love, I love a good like
Speaker 2: romantic movie or song. I'm just gonna throw this out
Speaker 2: there because I've really enjoyed it. I need something positive
Speaker 2: to come out of this movie. Langhorn Slim has just
Speaker 2: come out of a new EP. It's called on Fire,
Speaker 2: and the title track from it is really good. So
Speaker 2: check him out on Spotify get his number rose up.
Speaker 2: Language Slim is excellent as new ep is excellent. I'm
Speaker 2: sorry for droppings. Please continue.
Speaker 1: No, that's fine. If you want to write us and
Speaker 1: tell us we're wrong about Loll, tell us all the
Speaker 1: reasons that you loved it, you can write us at
Speaker 1: real Teengirl talk at gmail dot com. We have an
Speaker 1: instagram that Frank moderates.
Speaker 2: If you can make it through and tell how we're
Speaker 2: all about LOLL. I don't think you can.
Speaker 1: I could.
Speaker 2: I challenge you. I challenge you by our listeners. I
Speaker 2: have another podcast I do my buddy Donne called I
Speaker 2: hope I can make it through. I have a pod.
Speaker 2: I have a pod. I have a pod of I
Speaker 2: have a p pod.
Speaker 1: Dolphins Uh.
Speaker 2: I have a website friendcode dot com where I post
Speaker 2: my writings. I have a book for sale, A Harpy
Speaker 2: in the Darkness. It's a collection of horror stories. The
Speaker 2: link for the link for all three of those are
Speaker 2: in the description.
Speaker 1: And it's until next week. I'm ce Ze Coota my
Speaker 1: friend Coodaza