Speaker 1: And that's why I never read the comment. I just
want to like, I'm not even gonna look amazing tonight.
I love what you're wearing. Said, Oh my god, we're
all I have an angry clouds. That is life. But
that's hard, like unless it's like an NBA team or
something like.
Speaker 2: WHOA, hello, everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall unfiltered. Of course,
before I get into the episode, I just want to
give a huge thank you to strip chat for sponsoring
today's episode. If you haven't checked them out, strip Chat
is the world's leading adult live streaming platform. The performers
are incredible, the interaction is real, and it's just genuinely
a really fun place to be. Find them online or
follow them on Instagram and YouTube at sc world Official.
Speaker 1: Or on x at strip Chat.
Speaker 2: Okay, So today's guest was born in Baghdad, raised across
four countries on three different continents, and by the time
she landed in Toronto, she'd already lived more lives than
as people manage in a lifetime. She came to the
adult industry the way she's approached everything else, her eyes
open and her homework done. She knew the landscape, the players,
the agents, and the work she wanted before she ever.
Speaker 1: Stepped on set.
Speaker 2: But the more interesting story isn't necessarily how she got here.
It's what she figured out about herself along the way,
including the fact that she once genuinely wondered if she
was asexual and a few months later was having sex
on camera for one of the biggest studios in the world.
Let's welcome Eva, Mira.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. I'm so honored to be here.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy to have you here. We were just
remembering that we'd actually met each other earlier than we
thought we'd met each other. We met each other at
once upon a time in the.
Speaker 1: Valley we did. Yeah, I was eating onchiladas and chatting
it up with you the bench.
Speaker 2: Great tacos, seth gamble. That was I mean, the movie
was great, but the tacos highlight of the exceptional exception.
Speaker 1: I think I went back for seconds. Oh yeah, during
the movie, I kept giving you sauce, remember that time.
Yeah for meur I love the sauce. I really really
love the sauce.
Speaker 2: Okay, so let's talk a little bit about like your
background and growing up, because obviously you have a really
unique story So you were born in Baghdad and your
mom made the decision to leave before the war escalated
because once things got bad, essential workers wouldn't be allowed
to go. What do you remember about that time, even
as young as you were, and what does it meant
to you as an adult to understand what your mother
actually did get you out?
Speaker 1: So at the time, no one really told me what
was going on, Like I remembered certain things, which is
like really a little bit messed up. But like I
would hear like an alarm go off, and I'd like
lay on my mom and that would mean like something
was dropping. But I didn't like know she taught you
to do that. No, she didn't know. It was me
thinking that I could protect her. Yeah, but I thought
that was normal. Like I had no idea of the
outside world or what was going on essentially, But all
of a sudden, my mom was getting divorced. All of
a sudden, I was like packing my shit up and
we really like I had no explanation, no knowledge of
what was going on. Next thing I knew, I was
on a flight. It was the weirdest thing. I didn't
even know that they were getting a divorce, Like I
didn't know anything. Nothing was explained. Were you close to
your dad. I don't really remember him. My parents were
both away a lot at work. So my mom's a
doctor and my dad was a surgeon. Oh wow. Yeah.
So I was primarily raised by my grandmother and she
was a teacher. She had retired at the time. So
I would just be going to school, coming home, doing
my homework, going to sleep. There was really not much
going on there.
Speaker 2: All, right, So when you think back on your childhood,
you remember mostly like time with your grandmother.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like playing outside, and it was very I
was very studious. My grandma was very insistent on me
studying a lot, so I was. I was very much
doing a lot of homework. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Were your parents like pretty conservative and strict growing up?
Speaker 1: Not really, No. I mean when you think of like Iraq, right,
you probably think it's very conservative, especially now, but back
in the day, like it was very much how we
are here. Maybe a little more conservative, But I didn't
see it for what it is now, do you know
what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean your mom, as a woman worked in like
a very prestigious field that required a lot of education.
Speaker 1: My whole family was very, very educated, like my uncle
was an engineer, so a lot of my family members
are very intelligent.
Speaker 2: So then you moved from Baghdad to Yemen, then London,
then Halifax, then Toronto. Yeah, so tell me a little
bit about all of that, like city skipping, Like what
was that like for you as a child. Did you
enjoy going to new places or did it feel did
you feel uprooted all the time.
Speaker 1: I felt very uprooted all the time. And it wasn't
just like from city to city, it was from house
to house in every city. I never felt at home
or settled. I like never decorated my rooms. Is felt
everything was transient. So I never wanted to just like
commit to something which that makes.
Speaker 2: Me feel like plays in your currently now, which we'll
get too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, it was very difficult to kind of
always resocialize in different settings and make new friends and
then lose contact with those friends because no social media
or phones or so. It was weird. But then when
I moved to an English speaking country, that was another
challenge that I had to face, where it's like, not
only am I constantly moving, I'm learning another language and
simultaneously learning a third language. Because my parents put me
in French immersion, so I would speak like people would
speak to me in French that I've translated to English,
and then from English I would translated to Arabic. And
it was just very very hard on me, but it
made me definitely very social. I can put myself in
any setting and just kind of walk out with a
million friends. How many languages do you speak? Technically I
should be able to speak three, but I mostly speak English.
Now I've forgotten a lot of my languages.
Speaker 2: Mostly I never got to practice growing across that many cultures.
Did that shape how you feel about sexuality, relationships or gender?
Like did you were women viewed differently in different places
that you went, or did it all feel the same.
Speaker 1: In the Middle East? I didn't notice that because like
I didn't notice or know anything about the gender roles
and even even sounds like your parents didn't really subscribe
to them. No, not really, because my mom worked, my
dad worked, and in Halifax, the gender roles there were
kind of like also kind of twisted because my stepdad
just barely worked. You very much had substance abuse issues,
So my mom was almost like the father figure and
the mother figure at the same time. So Yeah, I
just grew up around a lot of strong women in
my life, and I think that's what shaped me.
Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like a really hard way for
a kid to grow up, But looking back on it,
are you grateful for some of it because it made
you resilient as an adult?
Speaker 1: Yes? And no. Sometimes I wish I had a normal upbringing,
only because I always wonder what it would have been
like to have like a good father figure or you know,
present parents. My mom was always working, so I kind
of felt like I raised myself, but it did make
me resilient, like I cann't handle any situation. I've never
had to depend on anybody, and I think it also
makes people very dependent on me, which is kind of
It's good and bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because sometimes you have a lot of pressure of
exactly coming from someone else in high expectations. It's just
crazy to me because you know, I'm a mom, and
I think about, you know, like I don't even want to,
you know, move my daughter like out of like the district,
because I don't want her to leave the school where
she has friends and stuff like that exactly.
Speaker 1: So I can't.
Speaker 2: Imagine like jumping around from all these different countries.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know why you moved so much? Well,
from Yemen, I think it was more of like, Okay,
we need to get out of rock right now. So
we got our shit right that masked, and then Yemen
was like, okay, we need to save a bunch of
money because we had to get like fake passports. Wow.
And then from England it was because when the war
ended or not ended, but once dom Hussein had passed away,
we're getting very political. But once Hussein passed away, the
reason we had left, I rack was because we were
terrified at the dictatorship. They were like, okay, well he died,
so you guys are good to go back. So then
we're like, what the fuck do we do now? So
we moved to Canada.
Speaker 2: Yeah it wasn't. So were you guys in England like
as refugees.
Speaker 1: Kind of kind of yeah? Yeah? And I remember when
we got to England, I was so tired of moving
that I specifically remember I was eating an egg and
I asked my mom and I was like, is this it? Like?
Can we just say? She goes, yeah, this is it?
And then it wasn't, and I'm like, oh my god,
how many more places like I can't doing this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean now knowing what you know about what
was going on in the country at the time, Like
how hard was it for your mom to get you
out or was it like kind of easier at the
time because she did it early enough, And then what
happened to the rest of your family.
Speaker 1: It was very difficult to get out of especially with
the Like I don't even know how she was able
to get a fake passport, Like I don't know how
without the internet, Like, I don't know how she did that.
So no, it wasn't easy at all because she's working,
she has a child that she's raising on her own.
So yeah, Like, I don't know the rest of my family. Actually,
my grandmother just passed away last week in iraqs She
had Alzheimer's and you know, she struggled for about ten
years with that. And my uncle, I believe is still
in Iraq. I don't I'm not very close with my family.
My aunt is in Norway, so we're very spread out.
I don't come from a very big family and I'm
not very close with them at all. So you haven't
been back to Iraq back in twenty fourteen, This was
right before the isis stuff happened, But when I went back,
it was more to say goodbye to my grandmother because
we knew there was no way we were going to
go back right right.
Speaker 2: So now, after all of this, you ended up becoming
a flight intendant. Yeah, And did that feel like a
logical continuation of a childhood like defined by movement?
Speaker 1: And was that a conscious choice?
Speaker 2: Was it something that like you'd always dreamed of becoming
when you grew up or was it just sort of
the opportunity presented itself and it felt like the right
fit at the time.
Speaker 1: You know, in hindsight, looking back now, it makes sense
that that's what I wanted to do because I was
so comfortable and just always hopping around. What made me
want to be a flight attendant was actually the trip
to Iraq in twenty fourteen. I took an Emirates flight
and I was like, Wow, these girls are just so beautiful,
such a nice airline, such a great airline. And I
was like, this is kind of the idea your job.
You get to travel, you have that freedom and you
don't have to commit to it's like a specific place,
and they just look so beautiful. So I was like, Okay,
let me give it a shot. And if I wasn't
going to get the job, I was going to move
to Australia. But I ended up getting a job at
Air Canada. I was too short for Emirates. I couldn't
reach the door, but I made the whole process. Yeah,
oh my god, this was before tattoos. I was like
clean clean, Yeah, so I was. I was devastated, but
I got my Air Canada job. So wait, mine or
Air Canada is plane smaller? I don't know. Maybe they
didn't have that specific aircraft that I had to reach
the door for. But I don't think they're smaller. I
just think they don't carry that specific fleet.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So then you ended up moving to Costa Rica.
Speaker 1: Yes, you have.
Speaker 2: Like lived everywhere I have. By the way, just before
we move on to that, what has been your favorite
place that you've.
Speaker 1: Lived so far? Los Angeles, California. And I love New York.
I lived in New York very briefly. It was only
two months, But I love New York. If it wasn't
for the weather and if there was work there, I'd
be in New York. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, So Costa Rica and at this point you have
a fiance, right, yes, So tell me a little bit
about that move, because you said that things started to
fall apart in Costa Rica.
Speaker 1: So my fiance and I were together for five and
a half years. It started out super hot and heavy.
We like, the way we met was ridiculous. It was
always very sexually charged, and then as our relationship progressed
me So he was my server at a restaurant okay,
and I was out on a date and I knew
a friend that worked at that restaurant. So I texted her.
I go, who is this guy? He's so hot? And
as a joke, I said to him to meet me
in the bathroom and I went, Yeah. I went to
the bathroom and I didn't think anything of it. I
was like, there's no way I'm washing my hands. He
walks in and we fucked in the ballroom while the
guy was still at the table. Yeah. And then I
walked out and finished eating my dinner, and then I
texted her. I was like, give him my number, and
then we left. I went out with the other guy
and I get a text. He came over that night
and he just like never left.
Speaker 2: Did the other guy have any idea that you just
had sex with the waiter in the bathroom during your
date and the guy's like, still your waiters So he's like.
Speaker 1: Bringing, Yeah. It was like it was out of a movie.
It was crazy. Oh my, I was like, what is that?
Why did I do that? I was crazy. I used
to do shit like that all the time. I love it.
You were just gonna skip over that story.
Speaker 2: You were like, yeah, the way wait was crazy, but anyways.
Speaker 1: I forget. Yeah, wow, that is that of a movie.
That's nuts. Yeah, So imagine it started like that and
then it started to deteriorate. There was cheating in the
begin on his end. That really kind of like that
was the root of the issue I think in our relationship,
and I felt like I spent the majority of my
relationship trying to prove myself. So once I got the
ring on my hand, I realized that I just wasn't
in it. I just wanted to just prove my worth
and having that ring kind of did that. But then
I realized that I didn't actually like him, you know,
I felt like I outgrew him. In the three years
before moving to Costa Rica and so the pandemic happened,
I realized I couldn't be in Canada anymore. So we
both decided, okay, let's save up a bunch of money
and moved to Costa Rica. I remember the day we
got engaged. We didn't even have sex, like, do you
know what I mean? It was just it was falling
apart as it was. We thought moving to Costa Rica
would help. It made it so much worse because we
were like stuck together. I had a job, he was
struggling to find a job that dynamic was horrible. I
ended up hiring him as my assistant that was even worse,
and it just it became like.
Speaker 2: We were just roommates. So now at this point, you're
starting to question that you might be asexual at that point, yeah,
I mean, even though it sounds like you'd had like
quite a few escapades when you were before that.
Speaker 1: Well, I was like, how did it go from that
to us having sex? Like, just to give you an idea,
we had sex in Costa Rica twice in two years. Wow.
And then we would leave and like go to like Vegas,
we'd have sex ones. I'm married with a kid, and
I have more sex than them. It was so sad.
It made me feel so sad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I sort of like had
a similar experience. I was with my ex husband and
like hated having sex with him, and I thought that
it was me, and then I ended up like having
relations with somebody else just to see if I was
still alive inside. That's because like I really felt like
I was dead inside, and that same thing. I was like,
it's got to be me because he brainwashed me and
thinking I commitment issues, which sort of true, you know,
I worked too much, and but yeah, after that I
realized I'm like, oh, it's not me, it's you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So that like was kind of what broke me out
of the whole thing. I'm like, okay, I'm done.
Speaker 1: And the awkward dance you do in the morning when
you're like, yeah, yeah, it's so sad.
Speaker 2: So you ask your partner if you could explore things
with someone else.
Speaker 1: How did that go? So I had a guy slide
in my DMS and we were open for a bit
post cheating. So I was like, hey, listen, I worked
for us in the past, Let's see how this goes.
And so I flew somewhere to meet up with a guy.
He flew in from New York and we had like
the best four days ever, Like it just awakened something
in me that I hadn't felt in a while. I
felt desired, I felt attractive again, Like I just felt
like me. You know. So it went well. I flew
home to Costa Rica, and you know, he was like,
so did you miss me? And I go, yeah, of
course I missed you. But I think we need to
have a serious conversation. So the next day I told him,
I was like, listen, this is not working. We're not
even married yet and it's not working. Can you imagine
what's going to happen we actually are married, we can't
tie our lives together. So let's let's call it was.
It was tough.
Speaker 2: So I mean, were you trying to like see if
he was into an open relationship or you just were
trying to break up.
Speaker 1: I had no interest in being together. I knew this
was not the life I saw for myself, and anytime
we talked about picking a wedding day or anything, my
body reacted like I just couldn't. I couldn't do it
because then that would mean I would have to have kids,
and then that means I'm stuck with this person forever.
And this is how I'm going to see him and
see myself, and I just I couldn't do it.
Speaker 2: There's so many like parallels with Yeah, so I actually
forgot about this until you brought this up. But with
my ex, you know, we got married because he lived
in England, and I mean we were, you know, we
wanted to be together, but like we had to do
the marriage thing so he could move right in with me.
And we were going back to England to see his family,
and he wanted to have this big party to celebrate
them because we never technically had a wedding. I've been
married twice, I've never been proposed to, and I've never
had a wedding.
Speaker 1: Really, wow, well we got to fix that. That's okay.
Speaker 2: Honestly, when I think about the idea of like putting
together a wedding, I'm like, oh my god, it's so
much admin, it's so much work.
Speaker 1: Like I don't I think I'm good. Yeah. And also
you can go on a sick vacation for that, yeah,
exactly what we did.
Speaker 2: We were thinking about that, and instead we went on
a vacation and I bought him a car with the
money that my parents gave me for the wedding.
Speaker 1: You bought him a car. Yeah, of course, of course
it did, I get it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so but yeah, and he wanted to have this
big like party at home with his friends and family
to like celebrate us. And I was like, every bone
in my body was like absolutely not. I didn't see
the end of the relationship. I was still trying to
force it to work. But yeah, like physically, like my
reaction to that idea was very bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember that. That's so weird.
Speaker 2: All right, So let's talk about your transition to the
dark side. So you met someone who worked in the
adult industry during your travels, right kind of right around
the end of your relationship with your fiance, correct, So
tell us about that.
Speaker 1: He's from Toronto, Okay, he will tell you that. He
said up my DM or I said in his DMS.
But it was vice versa. And you know, I had
expressed to him in the past that it was something
I've always wanted to do, but I never really got
around to it. And then we had started kind of
dating very casually, and he suggested that I meet or
I talked to Kieren Lee if I was thinking.
Speaker 2: About Karently is the gateway drug. He is the Gateway
at just talked to him yesterday.
Speaker 1: I love him. It was this morning I talked to him.
Oh really, yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, he's great. So I
had a call Canley and he basically was like, are
you sure, is this for sure something you want to do?
This will never I was like, absolutely, this is something
I want to do. I'm like, what do I have
to lose.
Speaker 2: I'm glad that he said that, right, Oh yeah, because
I feel like a lot of people think that, Like
there's a lot of people in the industry that are like,
we hate everything will be fine, come on in we
have cookies, which we do, we have cookies, but a
lot of us, like I've talked people out of the
industry before, because it is true. It's it's a commitment
and it will change your life and you can't take
it back.
Speaker 1: You can't take it back. And he was very animant
on explaining that to me, And I was like, look,
I if you had asked me when I was nineteen, Yeah,
but I'm old enough to know what I'm getting myself into.
I've done my research. I've always been very like intrigued
by the industry. I was like, what the hell I'm
just going to do it, and so book to flight
to La Kiaren set me up with a few scenes
for Browsers, and then it just kind of took off
so fast, so fast.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a great place to start too. To
start working for Browsers is a really that's an incredible
intro that not a lot of people get. Tell me
a little bit about, like the lead up to your
first scene, what you were expecting? Were you nervous and
you know what your experience was compared to what you
thought it would be.
Speaker 1: So Browsers is so great because they actually have a
call with you before and they explained to you exactly
what was going to happen. So they vet you, they
asked you a ray, they they explained the whole sinner
and they again they're like, are you sure you know?
So the lead up was like an intro what to
expect on set, So when I got on set, there
was no surprises as far as prep and things like that.
For sex, I learned from a girl that I already
knew was in the industry, So she's like you need
to do she need sponges, you need this, this mouth blush,
you need like everything. But you know, I really can
prepare you for the real thing, right, So I had
butterflies going into the set and I just remember being
like wow, like I'm here and it just felt surreal.
And prior to actually doing my first protein, I was like, Okay,
in the meantime, while this is happening, because I originally
was supposed to be in LA for only three months,
It's like, I'm going to bank up as much OnlyFans
content as I could.
Speaker 2: So I, did you start an only fans before you
did scenes for Browsers or afterwards?
Speaker 1: I always had an OnlyFans because I had friends that
would be too nervous to go live influencer friends, and
I would go live with them. And I've done a
few no face content stuff before through Reddit, but like
never really took it seriously. I just kind of did
it for fun. But yeah, I had my account, changed
my user name and started banking content. So I messaged
Johnny and he was my first colub. I was like
it has to be. It was my first club. Like
I used to watch him all the time time and
he was very nice enough. So the collapse side, I
had no idea the pro scenes Browsers prepares you for so.
I remember I showed up to Johnny's place that he
shoots and I go, you're my first. I have no
idea what I'm doing. I'm like, can you please just
walk me through it. He was so sweet. It's like this,
these are the cameras, this is what we're going to
get into. Anything that you're uncomfortable with, Like, let me
know what you know? Tell me your yes, is your nose?
Just the usual drill, which I didn't know was a thing.
And I just remember driving home after that and I
was like, oh my god. It just like Johnny says,
like that's crazy. I'm assuming it was a good scene.
Oh my god, it was amazing. It was like two
and a half hours. Wow, and partners to that, I
hadn't had sex for like two months. Oh wow. Yeah.
I was like wow, I got Yeah, He's amazing. It's
incredible what a cultural icon he's become.
Speaker 2: Because it's really amazing, like you know, the whole joke
that he's been like had every job, you know, like
a firefighter, like the dot, like the memes where like
people have literally like confused him for a real doctor
or soldier or.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It's incredible. He's amazing.
Speaker 2: He's a nice guy too, Like it couldn't you know
what I mean, like deserves all of his success.
Speaker 1: I'm happy for him absolutely.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you do your first scene for browsers.
Speaker 1: Who's it with? My first scene was with Mick Blue.
Oh my god, I know what a great person to
start your first He's amazing. He's amazing. I mean, no
one's like more of a pro than that guy. I
love him. And again, I did not know what the
hell I was doing. Didn't couldn't even tell you where
the camera was. He would open me up. I looked
so good. I was like, oh my god, Like, who
is that? Do you watch your scenes? No? I should
I do. Sometimes I call it game tape. I'll click
through it, uh huh. But just I'm like, why do
I keep saying? Oh fuck, I'm like, stop saying that,
you know.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, I know, saying I don't watch
my podcasts is the only thing I'll do.
Speaker 1: I'll just rip myself apart exactly. But I'm saying, like
so much. Yeah, and it's good research though, So I
do really need to get comfortable watching myself.
Speaker 2: But sometimes I'm like, I don't even like to watch myself.
I'm sex in a mirror much less like oh really,
oh god.
Speaker 1: No, I'm such a narcissist. I'm like, no, no, no, I
don't hot. No, I just I'm just like look fat
and no, can't do it, can't do it.
Speaker 2: I've done a couple of like home you know, tapes
with my husband and I cannot watch them.
Speaker 1: I'm just like.
Speaker 2: What really, no, goad no, so no, not not not into.
Speaker 1: It at all.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you came in, like you know, fully prepared,
ready to go.
Speaker 1: Your first scene was with Mick Blue.
Speaker 2: How many scenes do you do with Browsers before you
started branching out to other companies? And what was the
experience like when you started shooting for like other brands
and then did you get an agent right away or
like how'd you navigate the next few steps?
Speaker 1: So? I think I did three scenes for Brawsers before
I did anything. I think so. But I did my research, Holly,
I know you did. I did my research a.
Speaker 2: Highly educated family. You were very studious as a k.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not doing this, willy Nelly, I'm
doing this right. So I prior again, prior to this,
I used to listen to the pornhob podcast because I
was a big aus here a girl that's I'm obsessed
with her. She's amazing, she's so smart, she's so beautiful,
so talented. And I discovered her through barstool like they
used to do, like subway stuff with her. I have
no idea what it was, but I was like, who
is this girl? Read all her books and in her
books she mentioned Spiegler, washed a couple documentaries, watched a
couple of movies, and I remember I saw him at
the Pornhubb Awards, which again I don't know how the
hell I ended up there, like fate, I swear to god,
I just see him walking and I'm like, oh sker
didn't say anything. Saw him again at another event and
I had girth Master introduce me to him and so
shook hands and I was like, you're a fucking legend.
I was like, I'm I'm gonna work with you. And
he didn't say anything whatever. He was super nice about it.
He's like, what do you mean? And I had Jackie
Saint James reach out to me to work for Blessa.
She said, do you have an agent? I said, I'm
not signing with anybody unless it's Mark Speedkler. She's like, oh,
I've known Mark for years. I'll put you in touch.
How to call with him? He's like, okay, come to
my house on this day. I go to his house.
Speaker 2: Okay, can I ask you a question real quick? Because
did you have a hard time finding his apartment? He
was so sweet. He met me at the parking lot. Yeah, okay,
he came and got me because there was no I
don't I didn't drive at the time.
Speaker 1: I had an there.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, because one of the things that I know
that he does sometimes because apparently it's a little bit
difficult to find his apartment. It's like a test to
see if you can follow directions. Oh yeah, and you
can like find his place, and if you can't, then
that's kind of like Mark against you.
Speaker 1: Of course. So the fact that he came out and
met you in the parking lot, yeah he was. He
was so sweet and I was early that oh yeah.
Like I got to his apartment, I sit on his couch.
I was like, I know everything about you, I know
all your rules. I'm basically your soccer. I was like,
you either take me or you don't take me. But
I'm not going with anyone else unless to like, there's
no way. And so he asked me a few questions
here and there. It felt kind of formal but informal,
and then he goes, okay, let's get lunch, and I
was like, so does that mean we're together? Like I
had no idea if he was representing me or no.
So we go to lunch and then at the ABN
premiere party, I sit him down, I go speak, there
are we together? Like, I don't even can I put
you in my bio? I don't know. He's like, yeah,
you can put me in. I was like, oh my god.
I was so frigging contracts. No contract it's nothing. He's like,
you come and go yeah, yeah, but oh my god.
I was like, oh that was one of my main goals.
Was yeah, so and have you has it been everything
that you imagined it would be? Oh my god. Yeah.
I look up to him so much. I never wanted
to disappoint him. I feel like he's very much like
a like a father figure in a way. I never
want to disappoint him. I love him so much and George.
I love George like I'm so lucky honestly. Yeah, he's uh,
he's he's one of the kind I was.
Speaker 2: I think I was joking with you earlier, but I
meant it because Ava was early and she like knocks
on the door and I'm like still getting ready and uh,
and She's like, is she here already? I'm like, yeah,
she's early. She's a speedular girl. Of course she's here. Yeah,
but like straight up the battom like, yeah, of course
she's here early.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So a lot of performers describe a gap between what
they imagine the industry would be and what it actually is.
Have you found that the industry is a lot different
than what you expected and what it had surprised you
the most?
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, So is it different from what I imagined
like prior to doing my research, Yeah, of course, because
I didn't know about the camera angles and things like that.
But what really surprised me the most was how welcoming
everyone is. I really think that I don't know if
my experience is unique, but I've had so many nice
experiences and so many nice people that I've just met
through the industry, and they just, you know, welcoming with
open arms, And I thought it was very gay, keepy
I thought it was going to be very much like Caddie,
but I don't know. I've been very very fortunate.
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, it is a really welcoming, open community
I think. I mean, I've said this so many times, like,
you know, the people are the reason that I stay.
And I think that there is a real sense of
like camaraderie when you have people who come together that
have an unusual job that isn't necessarily seen in a
positive life and that's the world, you know what I mean,
And I think that that brings us closer. I think
there's probably also something to do with the fact that,
like you're intimate with other people for a living. That
adds to that, right, But yeah, it's definitely kind of
like a family, and everyone's very supportive of each other.
And I think a lot of performers want other new
girls to have a good experience, either because like they
want them to not have the experience that they had
because not everybody has a good experience coming in, or
they just like want them to make sure that they
go about it the right way because it is one
of those things that you can't take back. And like,
once you're in your in you know, kind of like
the Mafia exactly.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was like stepped in. It was crazy.
Speaker 2: You also started off with really good people, Yeah, and
I think that that is very helpful and made you protected.
Speaker 1: I think it's very much because of my upbringing that
I can kind of see who I want to associate
myself with. Yeah, and that's another benefit of moving around
and meeting new people constantly. I observe and then I
integrate myself because I'm very picky and choosy with who
I associate myself with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense considering like, yeah,
the way that you're raised. Now you've said that you
rarely have sex off camera. There's something almost counterintuitive about
being very sexually active on camera and relatively celibate in
your personal life. So how do you hold these two
things together? Like in your own head.
Speaker 1: The not having sex off camera thing is mainly because
obviously testing, I don't want to sleep with every talent
off camera that I have, So I don't want the
talent to think that, oh, just because I fucked her
on camera, I can fuck her off camera. So the
people that I do have sex with are very much
in the industry and it's rare because how the poor
guys constantly have to pop. Yeah, they have to have
orgasms all the time. It's so hard. So I don't
want to like.
Speaker 2: When sex is your job, sometimes to check for fun
is not really exactly.
Speaker 1: So people that I do have sex with, you know,
we have to kind of make sure that we're both
in a good space to be able to do it.
And the kind of sex I have off camera is
so psychotic that I feel like I don't want any
bruising or anything. So I just want to keep my
job first. That's my biggest priority. When you say psychotic, Like,
what do you mean? I like to get like really
tied up or like like I like really rough, rough
rough sex. So my personal life. Yeah, and now you
can't even choke on camera, I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, come on, yeah, what what are we doing? I
know credit card companies would not approve of this camera, No,
they would, They would call the police. So do you
like BDSM? Do are you generally submissive? I'm very submissive.
I don't know if I've experienced bads. I like to
get topped more than I like to get dummed. Right,
that makes sense.
Speaker 1: But you like to get tied up. I like to
get tied up. Yeah, I just want to like lose
all control of my body and have someone just completely
take control. Yeah. Yeah, that's hot to me.
Speaker 2: Now, you said that you don't know if you'll ever
be able to truly settle down, but eventually you want
monogamy outside of work. What does the right arrangement look
like to you.
Speaker 1: I don't know their dynamic completely, but I think, like
Ellie Clutch and Jack and I have such a beautiful relationship,
and I like their dynamic. I like that work is
work and they're very much such an amazing couple. So
I think something along those lines, where work is work
and we keep it professional, but eventually, you know, I
want us to be to be together. The only reason
I say I'm not really looking to settle down at
any point soon is because again I'm so new that
I don't want to have to come home and answer
to somebody or explain to them why I keep shooting
with this person, because at the end of the day
that will be something that would happen. Why do you
keep shooting with this person? I just don't want the
problems that would come along with that and having to
explain myself. So once I feel comfortable in the job
and once I figure out the ropes, then maybe, but
even then I just I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's hard to date in the industry and
outside the industry for different reasons.
Speaker 1: Right, absolutely, yeah, And I'm not like on apps, I'm
not a dater. I think I'm very much like a
meet them in the wild kind of person, and the
people the wild i'mond is like, I'm like, why am
I at this? Why they're so sketchy, Like I don't
want a boyfriend or girlfriend here now, speaking of the wild,
do you think you'd ever date a fan? I don't
know if I would data fan, and do you know why,
because I don't want to be surrounded by a yes man.
I want someone that would challenge me. And I feel like,
if you date a fan, whatever you want, And I
don't know if that's going to be the case, but
in my head, if I data fan, they're just like,
whatever you want, whatever you want, and I hate that.
I hate that. I want us to push each other.
I want you to like have some sort of boundaries
for me, because I'll go and say, like I'll go
buck wild. So unless you unless you put rules down
and I look at you as someone that I have
to respect.
Speaker 2: So you feel like you need to come. You kind
of have to feel like you're.
Speaker 1: On equal footing exactly, or someone who's above me that
I look up to, because every relationship that I've had,
I've always exceeded my partner and I hate feeling masculine
and they put me in my masculine. Yeah, so I
just want someone that's going to put me in my feminine.
Speaker 2: I guess it depends on like what it means to
be a fan exactly, you know what I mean, Because
like you can say, like, you know, you say like
you're a fan of like you're a fan of like Asakira,
But I'm sure that you don't like consider herself her
to be like above you, like in that way, you
know what I mean. And you can be a fan
of someone it's work, but still, yeah, I don't know.
It's a hard dynamic to now it is a fan
and I've never experienced it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's like what is a fan?
What is defined as a fan? Yeah? You know exactly. Yeah.
I would hope my partner likes me and is a
fan of me, but I don't want them to be like,
what do we want? Princess?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know speaking of is Penisi is important to you? Yes,
there was no hesitation. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1: Lie to you. I'm so I'm so lucky. Every partner
I've had, even prior to porn, has had a huge dick,
and yeah it is. Sorry, it is what it is,
but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. What is like
the minimum size for you? Probably like seven inches? And like,
I like girth. Okay, yeah, I'm not the skinny ones
kind of like poke at me and it hurts me
so so I prefer girth over length, even if it's
shorter than seven.
Speaker 2: Is it possible for you to have too big of
a dick?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I could never date Dread. I like you that
that name was good. I love him so much. I
know he's such a nice guy. Like, oh but man,
when I did that scene, I was like, well, first
of all, I was very proud of myself and he's
such a gentle giant that it was. It was doable,
you know, I was. George called me, he was like,
do you think you can do it? I'm like George,
I can do it. I'm the man for the job.
But I was like, you know, if I had to
do that on the regular, I don't know, But then again,
maybe maybe I could. I've surprised myself. How was girth?
Did you work with Chrismaster? Yes? How is that amazing
that I can do? I can do that on the regular.
Speaker 2: You can do girth? Yeah, I've never seen it in person.
He's only shown me a picture. You've never seen it
in person? Well, actually no, he showed it to me
soft when he came on the podcast. Yeah, but I
only I've only seen it because I don't shoot scenes anymore.
He showed it to me, and he showed it to
my mom. He showed it to What did she say?
She said, congratulations.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if I've showed my mom
his penis I've shown I've sent him a picture of
his hands. How does your mom feel about you actually
working in the industry? Now that you brought that up,
we kind of like dilly dally around it. I don't know, Okay,
Like showing the penis of the guy you were just
would not be I showed her the penis or a hand.
I just say he has a huge jack.
Speaker 2: I'm like, and then you show him a picture like
just guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, okay, But my mom's not a size queen
like I am. I don't think because not to like,
you know, yeah, talk shit about anyone, but I don't
think anyone is a size pain quite like him. You were.
You were the queen of size queens. I love I
love me some BG Dick.
Speaker 2: So you came into the industry knowing exactly what you wanted.
Now that you're in, it is the industry what you
thought it was going to be.
Speaker 1: It is so much better than I thought it was
going to be. Holly, I wake up and you know,
even if I'm having a bad day, I'm so fucking grateful.
I'm so grateful. I'm truly living my dream and it
feels it feels surreal. Even driving on the way here,
I almost cried because I was like, how am I here?
Like living in Los Angeles with my dream agent, doing
my dream job, with the people that I'm around. I
was like, how did I pull this off? Like I'm
getting emotional thinking about it. But it truly is like
what about everything in the adult industry like makes it
the dream job? For you. I get to have sex
for a living like and it's kind of art in
a way. And I get to meet all these amazing
people who are also doing the same thing, and there's
no hostility or anything like. It's just it feels surreal.
And to be accepted by the people that I chose
to tell beforehand and to have their support. By the way,
no one was surprised. I was like, what do you
mean we always know your r Yeah, I was like, what,
I like, do you not know how you made your actiancing?
But no, it's it's incredible. I'm grateful. What do you
think is the best scene you've ever shot?
Speaker 2: Like if someone was watching this they've never seen any
of your work and they're like, Okay, I want to
check her out.
Speaker 1: She's hot, Like where would you send them? Okay. I
haven't washed it myself, but I saw the trailer for it,
and I did my first boy boy girl for Browsers
and it was just a tag team. It wasn't a
DP or anything, but it was Mick Blue and Ricky
Jawson hot. I think it might be it might be
that one. It was amazing. But every time I finished
the scene and I'm like, oh, this is my best scene,
you know, because I'm getting more and more comfortable and
understanding of what to do on set because you just
kind of get thrown in. Yeah, there's no training, no,
you know. So now that I'm kind of getting more
aware of my surroundings, what looks good, what doesn't look good? Okay?
Is that live on browsers now? It is live on
browsers nowhang guys, browsers and I just show up for Vixen,
which is fun. Oh wow, how'd that go? I felt
like a princess. You look like a Vixen girl. Oh
it was so beautiful. I was like, that's me and
they showed me the sex dolls. It was like, I
look like an angel doing ungodly things.
Speaker 2: It's like, wow, Yeah, there's stills a really beautiful Any crazy,
like terrible scenes that you've had or have you avoided
that for the most.
Speaker 1: Part, because I'm very lucky with Speagler, I have not
walked off set and cried. So yeah, no, it's been
sunshine and rainbows thankfully.
Speaker 2: Anyone in the industry that you look up to, particularly
besides Spiegler, I guess you're awesome.
Speaker 1: Anyone Asa I love Angela. I think she's amazing. Riley,
all the legends. You got to look up to the legends.
I mean, they paved the way so I can be here,
and I'm so grateful for them.
Speaker 2: Any short term goals for you in the next year
is something that you want to accomplish.
Speaker 1: Short term goals. I am doing my first feature, so
I'm excited for that. Okay, my goal it's kind of
I really want to win Best New Started. I really
want to, but I just don't know if it's within
the possibilities. But even a nomination would be fucking amazing.
But yeah, that's kind of my goal right now.
Speaker 2: Because when did you officially start, Like how long have
you been in?
Speaker 1: My first scene came out June twenty eight last year,
so I was kind of in that window where I
wasn't able to be qualified for this anuary that had
just passed, so I'm qualified for the following year.
Speaker 2: It's probably better though, because now you have more scenes
under your belt, you have more experience because at that point,
because the nominations are announced or like they're considered what
in September I think, so yeah, it's like around September,
so like you would there wouldn't be that much yeah,
of you out there. I think that's why like Best
News startlet can fit within a two year window, because
you can have that weird like gap where there's just
not enough like material of you out there to make
a good judgment.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so that is kind of my goal, but
I don't know. I mean, look, just even a nomination
to be with the girls would be so cool because like,
the girls that I came up with this year are
all amazing, and they're so beautiful and super talented, So
just even being alongside them would be cool. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I have a feeling I'm going to predict that you're
going to get the nomination stop at the very least.
So well, Ava, thank you so much for coming on.
Thank you such a pleasure. I know that we have
questions for you from our Patreon members. Thank you guys
so much for sending this. We're going to do that
in a separate segment, but for now, can you tell
everyone where to find you online?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So my socials are at It's Ava a Mirah
pretty much on everything, literally everything, and.
Speaker 2: Your Instagram's down right now. Instagram's down, but you're hoping
to get it back up. Please if anyone can get
it back.
Speaker 1: The one, please help. Oh god, yeah, it's everybody's fucking nightmare.
It's so rude.
Speaker 2: Are you going to start a backup? I mean, even
if you get it back, what think is I.
Speaker 1: Would need a new device for a backup. So yeah,
you know what, maybe I I should probably do that. Honestly,
I might. I might do that after this. Yeah, I've
lost my mind. I'm like, I can't do this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's just like at this point now,
it's like everybody needs to have a backup, sad, just
to be safe.
Speaker 1: Even then though, like losing it is so devastating. They're
calling a deep platforming sex workers. That's a new term.
I heard. It's happening a lot. Yeah. Yeah, we're all.
We're all a little nervous even O. We're here on YouTube. Please,
I've been here for a long time. We just hit
four hundred thousand subscribers. Go, you're gonna stay. We're not
gonna talk about it.
Speaker 2: Well anyways, thank you guys so much for watching. Thank
you so much againstripchat for sponsoring the episode. If you
guys are watching this on YouTube, you can go follow
them on YouTube, scworld dot official that's also their handle
on Instagram. And of course, if you're a member of
my Patreon, you can watch these streamed lib and access
the bonus Q and A that we're about to do.
That's patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered. Go to
hollylinks dot com for access to all of my platforms.
Thank you guys so much for watching, and I will
see you on the next one.