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Speaker 1: And that's why I never read the comment. I just

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want to like, I'm not even gonna look amazing tonight.

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I love what you're wearing. Said, Oh my god, we're

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all I have an angry clouds. That is life. But

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that's hard, like unless it's like an NBA team or

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something like.

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Speaker 2: WHOA, hello, everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall unfiltered. Of course,

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before I get into the episode, I just want to

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give a huge thank you to strip chat for sponsoring

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today's episode. If you haven't checked them out, strip Chat

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is the world's leading adult live streaming platform. The performers

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are incredible, the interaction is real, and it's just genuinely

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a really fun place to be. Find them online or

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follow them on Instagram and YouTube at sc world Official.

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Speaker 1: Or on x at strip Chat.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So today's guest was born in Baghdad, raised across

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four countries on three different continents, and by the time

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she landed in Toronto, she'd already lived more lives than

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as people manage in a lifetime. She came to the

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adult industry the way she's approached everything else, her eyes

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open and her homework done. She knew the landscape, the players,

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the agents, and the work she wanted before she ever.

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Speaker 1: Stepped on set.

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Speaker 2: But the more interesting story isn't necessarily how she got here.

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It's what she figured out about herself along the way,

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including the fact that she once genuinely wondered if she

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was asexual and a few months later was having sex

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on camera for one of the biggest studios in the world.

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Let's welcome Eva, Mira.

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Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. I'm so honored to be here.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy to have you here. We were just

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remembering that we'd actually met each other earlier than we

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thought we'd met each other. We met each other at

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once upon a time in the.

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Speaker 1: Valley we did. Yeah, I was eating onchiladas and chatting

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it up with you the bench.

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Speaker 2: Great tacos, seth gamble. That was I mean, the movie

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was great, but the tacos highlight of the exceptional exception.

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Speaker 1: I think I went back for seconds. Oh yeah, during

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the movie, I kept giving you sauce, remember that time.

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Yeah for meur I love the sauce. I really really

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love the sauce.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so let's talk a little bit about like your

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background and growing up, because obviously you have a really

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unique story So you were born in Baghdad and your

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mom made the decision to leave before the war escalated

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because once things got bad, essential workers wouldn't be allowed

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to go. What do you remember about that time, even

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as young as you were, and what does it meant

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to you as an adult to understand what your mother

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actually did get you out?

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Speaker 1: So at the time, no one really told me what

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was going on, Like I remembered certain things, which is

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like really a little bit messed up. But like I

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would hear like an alarm go off, and I'd like

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lay on my mom and that would mean like something

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was dropping. But I didn't like know she taught you

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to do that. No, she didn't know. It was me

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thinking that I could protect her. Yeah, but I thought

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that was normal. Like I had no idea of the

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outside world or what was going on essentially, But all

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of a sudden, my mom was getting divorced. All of

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a sudden, I was like packing my shit up and

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we really like I had no explanation, no knowledge of

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what was going on. Next thing I knew, I was

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on a flight. It was the weirdest thing. I didn't

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even know that they were getting a divorce, Like I

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didn't know anything. Nothing was explained. Were you close to

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your dad. I don't really remember him. My parents were

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both away a lot at work. So my mom's a

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doctor and my dad was a surgeon. Oh wow. Yeah.

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So I was primarily raised by my grandmother and she

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was a teacher. She had retired at the time. So

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I would just be going to school, coming home, doing

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my homework, going to sleep. There was really not much

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going on there.

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Speaker 2: All, right, So when you think back on your childhood,

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you remember mostly like time with your grandmother.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like playing outside, and it was very I

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was very studious. My grandma was very insistent on me

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studying a lot, so I was. I was very much

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doing a lot of homework. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Were your parents like pretty conservative and strict growing up?

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Speaker 1: Not really, No. I mean when you think of like Iraq, right,

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you probably think it's very conservative, especially now, but back

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in the day, like it was very much how we

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are here. Maybe a little more conservative, But I didn't

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see it for what it is now, do you know

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what I mean? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I mean your mom, as a woman worked in like

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a very prestigious field that required a lot of education.

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Speaker 1: My whole family was very, very educated, like my uncle

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was an engineer, so a lot of my family members

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are very intelligent.

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Speaker 2: So then you moved from Baghdad to Yemen, then London,

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then Halifax, then Toronto. Yeah, so tell me a little

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bit about all of that, like city skipping, Like what

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was that like for you as a child. Did you

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enjoy going to new places or did it feel did

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you feel uprooted all the time.

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Speaker 1: I felt very uprooted all the time. And it wasn't

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just like from city to city, it was from house

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to house in every city. I never felt at home

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or settled. I like never decorated my rooms. Is felt

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everything was transient. So I never wanted to just like

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commit to something which that makes.

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Speaker 2: Me feel like plays in your currently now, which we'll

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get too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, it was very difficult to kind of

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always resocialize in different settings and make new friends and

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then lose contact with those friends because no social media

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or phones or so. It was weird. But then when

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I moved to an English speaking country, that was another

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challenge that I had to face, where it's like, not

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only am I constantly moving, I'm learning another language and

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simultaneously learning a third language. Because my parents put me

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in French immersion, so I would speak like people would

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speak to me in French that I've translated to English,

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and then from English I would translated to Arabic. And

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it was just very very hard on me, but it

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made me definitely very social. I can put myself in

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any setting and just kind of walk out with a

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million friends. How many languages do you speak? Technically I

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should be able to speak three, but I mostly speak English.

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Now I've forgotten a lot of my languages.

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Speaker 2: Mostly I never got to practice growing across that many cultures.

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Did that shape how you feel about sexuality, relationships or gender?

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Like did you were women viewed differently in different places

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that you went, or did it all feel the same.

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Speaker 1: In the Middle East? I didn't notice that because like

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I didn't notice or know anything about the gender roles

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and even even sounds like your parents didn't really subscribe

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to them. No, not really, because my mom worked, my

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dad worked, and in Halifax, the gender roles there were

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kind of like also kind of twisted because my stepdad

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just barely worked. You very much had substance abuse issues,

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So my mom was almost like the father figure and

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the mother figure at the same time. So Yeah, I

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just grew up around a lot of strong women in

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my life, and I think that's what shaped me.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like a really hard way for

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a kid to grow up, But looking back on it,

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are you grateful for some of it because it made

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you resilient as an adult?

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Speaker 1: Yes? And no. Sometimes I wish I had a normal upbringing,

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only because I always wonder what it would have been

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like to have like a good father figure or you know,

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present parents. My mom was always working, so I kind

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of felt like I raised myself, but it did make

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me resilient, like I cann't handle any situation. I've never

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had to depend on anybody, and I think it also

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makes people very dependent on me, which is kind of

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It's good and bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because sometimes you have a lot of pressure of

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exactly coming from someone else in high expectations. It's just

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crazy to me because you know, I'm a mom, and

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I think about, you know, like I don't even want to,

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you know, move my daughter like out of like the district,

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because I don't want her to leave the school where

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she has friends and stuff like that exactly.

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Speaker 1: So I can't.

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Speaker 2: Imagine like jumping around from all these different countries.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know why you moved so much? Well,

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from Yemen, I think it was more of like, Okay,

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we need to get out of rock right now. So

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we got our shit right that masked, and then Yemen

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was like, okay, we need to save a bunch of

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money because we had to get like fake passports. Wow.

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And then from England it was because when the war

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ended or not ended, but once dom Hussein had passed away,

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we're getting very political. But once Hussein passed away, the

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reason we had left, I rack was because we were

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terrified at the dictatorship. They were like, okay, well he died,

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so you guys are good to go back. So then

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we're like, what the fuck do we do now? So

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we moved to Canada.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it wasn't. So were you guys in England like

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as refugees.

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Speaker 1: Kind of kind of yeah? Yeah? And I remember when

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we got to England, I was so tired of moving

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that I specifically remember I was eating an egg and

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I asked my mom and I was like, is this it? Like?

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Can we just say? She goes, yeah, this is it?

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And then it wasn't, and I'm like, oh my god,

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how many more places like I can't doing this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean now knowing what you know about what

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was going on in the country at the time, Like

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how hard was it for your mom to get you

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out or was it like kind of easier at the

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time because she did it early enough, And then what

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happened to the rest of your family.

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Speaker 1: It was very difficult to get out of especially with

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the Like I don't even know how she was able

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to get a fake passport, Like I don't know how

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without the internet, Like, I don't know how she did that.

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So no, it wasn't easy at all because she's working,

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she has a child that she's raising on her own.

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So yeah, Like, I don't know the rest of my family. Actually,

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my grandmother just passed away last week in iraqs She

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had Alzheimer's and you know, she struggled for about ten

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years with that. And my uncle, I believe is still

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in Iraq. I don't I'm not very close with my family.

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My aunt is in Norway, so we're very spread out.

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I don't come from a very big family and I'm

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not very close with them at all. So you haven't

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been back to Iraq back in twenty fourteen, This was

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right before the isis stuff happened, But when I went back,

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it was more to say goodbye to my grandmother because

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we knew there was no way we were going to

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go back right right.

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Speaker 2: So now, after all of this, you ended up becoming

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a flight intendant. Yeah, And did that feel like a

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logical continuation of a childhood like defined by movement?

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Speaker 1: And was that a conscious choice?

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Speaker 2: Was it something that like you'd always dreamed of becoming

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when you grew up or was it just sort of

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the opportunity presented itself and it felt like the right

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fit at the time.

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Speaker 1: You know, in hindsight, looking back now, it makes sense

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that that's what I wanted to do because I was

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so comfortable and just always hopping around. What made me

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want to be a flight attendant was actually the trip

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to Iraq in twenty fourteen. I took an Emirates flight

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and I was like, Wow, these girls are just so beautiful,

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such a nice airline, such a great airline. And I

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was like, this is kind of the idea your job.

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You get to travel, you have that freedom and you

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don't have to commit to it's like a specific place,

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and they just look so beautiful. So I was like, Okay,

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let me give it a shot. And if I wasn't

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going to get the job, I was going to move

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to Australia. But I ended up getting a job at

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Air Canada. I was too short for Emirates. I couldn't

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reach the door, but I made the whole process. Yeah,

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oh my god, this was before tattoos. I was like

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clean clean, Yeah, so I was. I was devastated, but

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I got my Air Canada job. So wait, mine or

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Air Canada is plane smaller? I don't know. Maybe they

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didn't have that specific aircraft that I had to reach

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the door for. But I don't think they're smaller. I

241
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just think they don't carry that specific fleet.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So then you ended up moving to Costa Rica.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you have.

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Speaker 2: Like lived everywhere I have. By the way, just before

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we move on to that, what has been your favorite

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place that you've.

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Speaker 1: Lived so far? Los Angeles, California. And I love New York.

248
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I lived in New York very briefly. It was only

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two months, But I love New York. If it wasn't

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for the weather and if there was work there, I'd

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be in New York. Yeah.

252
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Speaker 2: Okay, So Costa Rica and at this point you have

253
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a fiance, right, yes, So tell me a little bit

254
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about that move, because you said that things started to

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fall apart in Costa Rica.

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Speaker 1: So my fiance and I were together for five and

257
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a half years. It started out super hot and heavy.

258
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We like, the way we met was ridiculous. It was

259
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always very sexually charged, and then as our relationship progressed

260
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me So he was my server at a restaurant okay,

261
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and I was out on a date and I knew

262
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a friend that worked at that restaurant. So I texted her.

263
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I go, who is this guy? He's so hot? And

264
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as a joke, I said to him to meet me

265
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in the bathroom and I went, Yeah. I went to

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the bathroom and I didn't think anything of it. I

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was like, there's no way I'm washing my hands. He

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walks in and we fucked in the ballroom while the

269
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guy was still at the table. Yeah. And then I

270
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walked out and finished eating my dinner, and then I

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texted her. I was like, give him my number, and

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then we left. I went out with the other guy

273
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and I get a text. He came over that night

274
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and he just like never left.

275
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Speaker 2: Did the other guy have any idea that you just

276
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had sex with the waiter in the bathroom during your

277
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date and the guy's like, still your waiters So he's like.

278
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Speaker 1: Bringing, Yeah. It was like it was out of a movie.

279
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It was crazy. Oh my, I was like, what is that?

280
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Why did I do that? I was crazy. I used

281
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to do shit like that all the time. I love it.

282
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You were just gonna skip over that story.

283
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Speaker 2: You were like, yeah, the way wait was crazy, but anyways.

284
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Speaker 1: I forget. Yeah, wow, that is that of a movie.

285
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That's nuts. Yeah, So imagine it started like that and

286
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then it started to deteriorate. There was cheating in the

287
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:03,159
begin on his end. That really kind of like that

288
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,960
was the root of the issue I think in our relationship,

289
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and I felt like I spent the majority of my

290
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relationship trying to prove myself. So once I got the

291
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ring on my hand, I realized that I just wasn't

292
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in it. I just wanted to just prove my worth

293
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and having that ring kind of did that. But then

294
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I realized that I didn't actually like him, you know,

295
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,759
I felt like I outgrew him. In the three years

296
00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:33,159
before moving to Costa Rica and so the pandemic happened,

297
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I realized I couldn't be in Canada anymore. So we

298
00:14:36,279 --> 00:14:38,440
both decided, okay, let's save up a bunch of money

299
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,679
and moved to Costa Rica. I remember the day we

300
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,000
got engaged. We didn't even have sex, like, do you

301
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,279
know what I mean? It was just it was falling

302
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,000
apart as it was. We thought moving to Costa Rica

303
00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:50,679
would help. It made it so much worse because we

304
00:14:50,679 --> 00:14:53,360
were like stuck together. I had a job, he was

305
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,519
struggling to find a job that dynamic was horrible. I

306
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,600
ended up hiring him as my assistant that was even worse,

307
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,240
and it just it became like.

308
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Speaker 2: We were just roommates. So now at this point, you're

309
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:10,720
starting to question that you might be asexual at that point, yeah,

310
00:15:11,159 --> 00:15:13,559
I mean, even though it sounds like you'd had like

311
00:15:13,639 --> 00:15:17,200
quite a few escapades when you were before that.

312
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,240
Speaker 1: Well, I was like, how did it go from that

313
00:15:19,679 --> 00:15:23,159
to us having sex? Like, just to give you an idea,

314
00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:27,440
we had sex in Costa Rica twice in two years. Wow.

315
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,759
And then we would leave and like go to like Vegas,

316
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:32,000
we'd have sex ones. I'm married with a kid, and

317
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,360
I have more sex than them. It was so sad.

318
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:35,639
It made me feel so sad.

319
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I sort of like had

320
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,600
a similar experience. I was with my ex husband and

321
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,519
like hated having sex with him, and I thought that

322
00:15:47,799 --> 00:15:51,279
it was me, and then I ended up like having

323
00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:55,120
relations with somebody else just to see if I was

324
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,000
still alive inside. That's because like I really felt like

325
00:15:58,039 --> 00:15:59,840
I was dead inside, and that same thing. I was like,

326
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,559
it's got to be me because he brainwashed me and

327
00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:06,159
thinking I commitment issues, which sort of true, you know,

328
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,759
I worked too much, and but yeah, after that I

329
00:16:08,799 --> 00:16:11,559
realized I'm like, oh, it's not me, it's you.

330
00:16:11,799 --> 00:16:12,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

331
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,360
Speaker 2: So that like was kind of what broke me out

332
00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:15,720
of the whole thing. I'm like, okay, I'm done.

333
00:16:15,879 --> 00:16:18,399
Speaker 1: And the awkward dance you do in the morning when

334
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,960
you're like, yeah, yeah, it's so sad.

335
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,240
Speaker 2: So you ask your partner if you could explore things

336
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:23,879
with someone else.

337
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,720
Speaker 1: How did that go? So I had a guy slide

338
00:16:28,759 --> 00:16:31,639
in my DMS and we were open for a bit

339
00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:34,720
post cheating. So I was like, hey, listen, I worked

340
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:38,120
for us in the past, Let's see how this goes.

341
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,360
And so I flew somewhere to meet up with a guy.

342
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:45,120
He flew in from New York and we had like

343
00:16:45,159 --> 00:16:47,919
the best four days ever, Like it just awakened something

344
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,720
in me that I hadn't felt in a while. I

345
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:54,600
felt desired, I felt attractive again, Like I just felt

346
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:59,559
like me. You know. So it went well. I flew

347
00:16:59,639 --> 00:17:04,000
home to Costa Rica, and you know, he was like,

348
00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:06,079
so did you miss me? And I go, yeah, of

349
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,559
course I missed you. But I think we need to

350
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:11,240
have a serious conversation. So the next day I told him,

351
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,720
I was like, listen, this is not working. We're not

352
00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:17,160
even married yet and it's not working. Can you imagine

353
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,799
what's going to happen we actually are married, we can't

354
00:17:19,799 --> 00:17:23,920
tie our lives together. So let's let's call it was.

355
00:17:24,079 --> 00:17:24,599
It was tough.

356
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,519
Speaker 2: So I mean, were you trying to like see if

357
00:17:27,559 --> 00:17:29,839
he was into an open relationship or you just were

358
00:17:29,839 --> 00:17:30,519
trying to break up.

359
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,839
Speaker 1: I had no interest in being together. I knew this

360
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,400
was not the life I saw for myself, and anytime

361
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:40,960
we talked about picking a wedding day or anything, my

362
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,720
body reacted like I just couldn't. I couldn't do it

363
00:17:44,799 --> 00:17:46,400
because then that would mean I would have to have kids,

364
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,799
and then that means I'm stuck with this person forever.

365
00:17:48,839 --> 00:17:52,000
And this is how I'm going to see him and

366
00:17:52,039 --> 00:17:54,960
see myself, and I just I couldn't do it.

367
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,720
Speaker 2: There's so many like parallels with Yeah, so I actually

368
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,759
forgot about this until you brought this up. But with

369
00:18:01,799 --> 00:18:06,079
my ex, you know, we got married because he lived

370
00:18:06,079 --> 00:18:08,359
in England, and I mean we were, you know, we

371
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,799
wanted to be together, but like we had to do

372
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,759
the marriage thing so he could move right in with me.

373
00:18:14,039 --> 00:18:15,880
And we were going back to England to see his family,

374
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,839
and he wanted to have this big party to celebrate

375
00:18:17,839 --> 00:18:20,000
them because we never technically had a wedding. I've been

376
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,920
married twice, I've never been proposed to, and I've never

377
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:22,519
had a wedding.

378
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:26,920
Speaker 1: Really, wow, well we got to fix that. That's okay.

379
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:29,160
Speaker 2: Honestly, when I think about the idea of like putting

380
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,599
together a wedding, I'm like, oh my god, it's so

381
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,279
much admin, it's so much work.

382
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,799
Speaker 1: Like I don't I think I'm good. Yeah. And also

383
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,759
you can go on a sick vacation for that, yeah,

384
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:39,160
exactly what we did.

385
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,079
Speaker 2: We were thinking about that, and instead we went on

386
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,680
a vacation and I bought him a car with the

387
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,240
money that my parents gave me for the wedding.

388
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,079
Speaker 1: You bought him a car. Yeah, of course, of course

389
00:18:47,079 --> 00:18:49,039
it did, I get it.

390
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so but yeah, and he wanted to have this

391
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,480
big like party at home with his friends and family

392
00:18:54,599 --> 00:18:57,920
to like celebrate us. And I was like, every bone

393
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,640
in my body was like absolutely not. I didn't see

394
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,880
the end of the relationship. I was still trying to

395
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,200
force it to work. But yeah, like physically, like my

396
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:07,440
reaction to that idea was very bad.

397
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember that. That's so weird.

398
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:13,599
Speaker 2: All right, So let's talk about your transition to the

399
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,960
dark side. So you met someone who worked in the

400
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,640
adult industry during your travels, right kind of right around

401
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:23,880
the end of your relationship with your fiance, correct, So

402
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,160
tell us about that.

403
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 1: He's from Toronto, Okay, he will tell you that. He

404
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,440
said up my DM or I said in his DMS.

405
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,599
But it was vice versa. And you know, I had

406
00:19:33,759 --> 00:19:35,759
expressed to him in the past that it was something

407
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:39,519
I've always wanted to do, but I never really got

408
00:19:39,519 --> 00:19:43,519
around to it. And then we had started kind of

409
00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:48,720
dating very casually, and he suggested that I meet or

410
00:19:48,759 --> 00:19:51,359
I talked to Kieren Lee if I was thinking.

411
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,200
Speaker 2: About Karently is the gateway drug. He is the Gateway

412
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,559
at just talked to him yesterday.

413
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 1: I love him. It was this morning I talked to him.

414
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,680
Oh really, yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, he's great. So I

415
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,279
had a call Canley and he basically was like, are

416
00:20:05,319 --> 00:20:07,720
you sure, is this for sure something you want to do?

417
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,200
This will never I was like, absolutely, this is something

418
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,160
I want to do. I'm like, what do I have

419
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:11,519
to lose.

420
00:20:11,599 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 2: I'm glad that he said that, right, Oh yeah, because

421
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,720
I feel like a lot of people think that, Like

422
00:20:16,319 --> 00:20:18,119
there's a lot of people in the industry that are like,

423
00:20:18,279 --> 00:20:21,720
we hate everything will be fine, come on in we

424
00:20:21,799 --> 00:20:26,400
have cookies, which we do, we have cookies, but a

425
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,680
lot of us, like I've talked people out of the

426
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:33,880
industry before, because it is true. It's it's a commitment

427
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,519
and it will change your life and you can't take

428
00:20:35,519 --> 00:20:35,799
it back.

429
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 1: You can't take it back. And he was very animant

430
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,519
on explaining that to me, And I was like, look,

431
00:20:40,559 --> 00:20:45,480
I if you had asked me when I was nineteen, Yeah,

432
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:49,160
but I'm old enough to know what I'm getting myself into.

433
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:52,960
I've done my research. I've always been very like intrigued

434
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,759
by the industry. I was like, what the hell I'm

435
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:57,920
just going to do it, and so book to flight

436
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,039
to La Kiaren set me up with a few scenes

437
00:21:01,079 --> 00:21:03,880
for Browsers, and then it just kind of took off

438
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,519
so fast, so fast.

439
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a great place to start too. To

440
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,400
start working for Browsers is a really that's an incredible

441
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,559
intro that not a lot of people get. Tell me

442
00:21:13,599 --> 00:21:16,119
a little bit about, like the lead up to your

443
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,200
first scene, what you were expecting? Were you nervous and

444
00:21:19,839 --> 00:21:22,160
you know what your experience was compared to what you

445
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:22,839
thought it would be.

446
00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 1: So Browsers is so great because they actually have a

447
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,200
call with you before and they explained to you exactly

448
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:33,119
what was going to happen. So they vet you, they

449
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,559
asked you a ray, they they explained the whole sinner

450
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,880
and they again they're like, are you sure you know?

451
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,240
So the lead up was like an intro what to

452
00:21:43,319 --> 00:21:45,400
expect on set, So when I got on set, there

453
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,519
was no surprises as far as prep and things like that.

454
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,000
For sex, I learned from a girl that I already

455
00:21:51,039 --> 00:21:53,279
knew was in the industry, So she's like you need

456
00:21:53,319 --> 00:21:56,359
to do she need sponges, you need this, this mouth blush,

457
00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:00,519
you need like everything. But you know, I really can

458
00:22:00,559 --> 00:22:03,119
prepare you for the real thing, right, So I had

459
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,599
butterflies going into the set and I just remember being

460
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,240
like wow, like I'm here and it just felt surreal.

461
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,599
And prior to actually doing my first protein, I was like, Okay,

462
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,839
in the meantime, while this is happening, because I originally

463
00:22:17,839 --> 00:22:19,559
was supposed to be in LA for only three months,

464
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,920
It's like, I'm going to bank up as much OnlyFans

465
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,079
content as I could.

466
00:22:23,319 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 2: So I, did you start an only fans before you

467
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,519
did scenes for Browsers or afterwards?

468
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,839
Speaker 1: I always had an OnlyFans because I had friends that

469
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,200
would be too nervous to go live influencer friends, and

470
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,920
I would go live with them. And I've done a

471
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,559
few no face content stuff before through Reddit, but like

472
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,839
never really took it seriously. I just kind of did

473
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:49,200
it for fun. But yeah, I had my account, changed

474
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:53,079
my user name and started banking content. So I messaged

475
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,119
Johnny and he was my first colub. I was like

476
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,359
it has to be. It was my first club. Like

477
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,799
I used to watch him all the time time and

478
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:03,000
he was very nice enough. So the collapse side, I

479
00:23:03,039 --> 00:23:07,400
had no idea the pro scenes Browsers prepares you for so.

480
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,119
I remember I showed up to Johnny's place that he

481
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,960
shoots and I go, you're my first. I have no

482
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,240
idea what I'm doing. I'm like, can you please just

483
00:23:16,279 --> 00:23:18,960
walk me through it. He was so sweet. It's like this,

484
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,119
these are the cameras, this is what we're going to

485
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,359
get into. Anything that you're uncomfortable with, Like, let me

486
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,519
know what you know? Tell me your yes, is your nose?

487
00:23:26,599 --> 00:23:29,480
Just the usual drill, which I didn't know was a thing.

488
00:23:30,279 --> 00:23:33,759
And I just remember driving home after that and I

489
00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:36,359
was like, oh my god. It just like Johnny says,

490
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,880
like that's crazy. I'm assuming it was a good scene.

491
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,559
Oh my god, it was amazing. It was like two

492
00:23:41,559 --> 00:23:44,519
and a half hours. Wow, and partners to that, I

493
00:23:44,519 --> 00:23:47,440
hadn't had sex for like two months. Oh wow. Yeah.

494
00:23:47,519 --> 00:23:51,640
I was like wow, I got Yeah, He's amazing. It's

495
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,240
incredible what a cultural icon he's become.

496
00:23:54,799 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: Because it's really amazing, like you know, the whole joke

497
00:23:57,759 --> 00:24:00,160
that he's been like had every job, you know, like

498
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:04,039
a firefighter, like the dot, like the memes where like

499
00:24:04,079 --> 00:24:07,400
people have literally like confused him for a real doctor

500
00:24:07,519 --> 00:24:09,519
or soldier or.

501
00:24:09,559 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It's incredible. He's amazing.

502
00:24:12,759 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 2: He's a nice guy too, Like it couldn't you know

503
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,440
what I mean, like deserves all of his success.

504
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,799
Speaker 1: I'm happy for him absolutely.

505
00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 2: Okay, so you do your first scene for browsers.

506
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,519
Speaker 1: Who's it with? My first scene was with Mick Blue.

507
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,480
Oh my god, I know what a great person to

508
00:24:25,519 --> 00:24:28,680
start your first He's amazing. He's amazing. I mean, no

509
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,759
one's like more of a pro than that guy. I

510
00:24:30,839 --> 00:24:33,119
love him. And again, I did not know what the

511
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,039
hell I was doing. Didn't couldn't even tell you where

512
00:24:35,039 --> 00:24:38,079
the camera was. He would open me up. I looked

513
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,680
so good. I was like, oh my god, Like, who

514
00:24:41,799 --> 00:24:44,720
is that? Do you watch your scenes? No? I should

515
00:24:44,759 --> 00:24:46,759
I do. Sometimes I call it game tape. I'll click

516
00:24:46,799 --> 00:24:50,039
through it, uh huh. But just I'm like, why do

517
00:24:50,079 --> 00:24:55,000
I keep saying? Oh fuck, I'm like, stop saying that,

518
00:24:55,799 --> 00:24:56,039
you know.

519
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,599
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, I know, saying I don't watch

520
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,759
my podcasts is the only thing I'll do.

521
00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: I'll just rip myself apart exactly. But I'm saying, like

522
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,119
so much. Yeah, and it's good research though, So I

523
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,480
do really need to get comfortable watching myself.

524
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,160
Speaker 2: But sometimes I'm like, I don't even like to watch myself.

525
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,559
I'm sex in a mirror much less like oh really,

526
00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:15,640
oh god.

527
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:20,039
Speaker 1: No, I'm such a narcissist. I'm like, no, no, no, I

528
00:25:20,039 --> 00:25:24,119
don't hot. No, I just I'm just like look fat

529
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,920
and no, can't do it, can't do it.

530
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 2: I've done a couple of like home you know, tapes

531
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,960
with my husband and I cannot watch them.

532
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:32,559
Speaker 1: I'm just like.

533
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 2: What really, no, goad no, so no, not not not into.

534
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: It at all.

535
00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 2: Okay, So you came in, like you know, fully prepared,

536
00:25:44,839 --> 00:25:45,440
ready to go.

537
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: Your first scene was with Mick Blue.

538
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 2: How many scenes do you do with Browsers before you

539
00:25:50,319 --> 00:25:52,279
started branching out to other companies? And what was the

540
00:25:52,319 --> 00:25:56,319
experience like when you started shooting for like other brands

541
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,920
and then did you get an agent right away or

542
00:25:59,799 --> 00:26:01,880
like how'd you navigate the next few steps?

543
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,079
Speaker 1: So? I think I did three scenes for Brawsers before

544
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:11,720
I did anything. I think so. But I did my research, Holly,

545
00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:14,480
I know you did. I did my research a.

546
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,279
Speaker 2: Highly educated family. You were very studious as a k.

547
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,839
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not doing this, willy Nelly, I'm

548
00:26:19,839 --> 00:26:23,079
doing this right. So I prior again, prior to this,

549
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:26,359
I used to listen to the pornhob podcast because I

550
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,000
was a big aus here a girl that's I'm obsessed

551
00:26:29,039 --> 00:26:31,720
with her. She's amazing, she's so smart, she's so beautiful,

552
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:36,200
so talented. And I discovered her through barstool like they

553
00:26:36,279 --> 00:26:38,200
used to do, like subway stuff with her. I have

554
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,240
no idea what it was, but I was like, who

555
00:26:40,319 --> 00:26:42,839
is this girl? Read all her books and in her

556
00:26:42,839 --> 00:26:47,400
books she mentioned Spiegler, washed a couple documentaries, watched a

557
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,960
couple of movies, and I remember I saw him at

558
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,200
the Pornhubb Awards, which again I don't know how the

559
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,720
hell I ended up there, like fate, I swear to god,

560
00:26:55,759 --> 00:26:58,160
I just see him walking and I'm like, oh sker

561
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,759
didn't say anything. Saw him again at another event and

562
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,480
I had girth Master introduce me to him and so

563
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,640
shook hands and I was like, you're a fucking legend.

564
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,960
I was like, I'm I'm gonna work with you. And

565
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,480
he didn't say anything whatever. He was super nice about it.

566
00:27:14,519 --> 00:27:16,720
He's like, what do you mean? And I had Jackie

567
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,279
Saint James reach out to me to work for Blessa.

568
00:27:19,599 --> 00:27:21,680
She said, do you have an agent? I said, I'm

569
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,160
not signing with anybody unless it's Mark Speedkler. She's like, oh,

570
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,960
I've known Mark for years. I'll put you in touch.

571
00:27:26,799 --> 00:27:28,880
How to call with him? He's like, okay, come to

572
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,559
my house on this day. I go to his house.

573
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,559
Speaker 2: Okay, can I ask you a question real quick? Because

574
00:27:33,839 --> 00:27:37,160
did you have a hard time finding his apartment? He

575
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,319
was so sweet. He met me at the parking lot. Yeah, okay,

576
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,400
he came and got me because there was no I

577
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,640
don't I didn't drive at the time.

578
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: I had an there.

579
00:27:46,759 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, because one of the things that I know

580
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,920
that he does sometimes because apparently it's a little bit

581
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,359
difficult to find his apartment. It's like a test to

582
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,000
see if you can follow directions. Oh yeah, and you

583
00:27:59,039 --> 00:28:03,000
can like find his place, and if you can't, then

584
00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:04,720
that's kind of like Mark against you.

585
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,319
Speaker 1: Of course. So the fact that he came out and

586
00:28:06,319 --> 00:28:09,200
met you in the parking lot, yeah he was. He

587
00:28:09,279 --> 00:28:12,160
was so sweet and I was early that oh yeah.

588
00:28:12,319 --> 00:28:14,519
Like I got to his apartment, I sit on his couch.

589
00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:16,200
I was like, I know everything about you, I know

590
00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:19,200
all your rules. I'm basically your soccer. I was like,

591
00:28:19,559 --> 00:28:21,079
you either take me or you don't take me. But

592
00:28:21,079 --> 00:28:23,119
I'm not going with anyone else unless to like, there's

593
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,880
no way. And so he asked me a few questions

594
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,319
here and there. It felt kind of formal but informal,

595
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,240
and then he goes, okay, let's get lunch, and I

596
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,079
was like, so does that mean we're together? Like I

597
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,359
had no idea if he was representing me or no.

598
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:41,359
So we go to lunch and then at the ABN

599
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:47,200
premiere party, I sit him down, I go speak, there

600
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,319
are we together? Like, I don't even can I put

601
00:28:50,319 --> 00:28:52,960
you in my bio? I don't know. He's like, yeah,

602
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,160
you can put me in. I was like, oh my god.

603
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:01,000
I was so frigging contracts. No contract it's nothing. He's like,

604
00:29:01,039 --> 00:29:04,400
you come and go yeah, yeah, but oh my god.

605
00:29:04,559 --> 00:29:06,680
I was like, oh that was one of my main goals.

606
00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:09,279
Was yeah, so and have you has it been everything

607
00:29:09,279 --> 00:29:10,960
that you imagined it would be? Oh my god. Yeah.

608
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,559
I look up to him so much. I never wanted

609
00:29:12,519 --> 00:29:15,400
to disappoint him. I feel like he's very much like

610
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:18,759
a like a father figure in a way. I never

611
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:21,720
want to disappoint him. I love him so much and George.

612
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,400
I love George like I'm so lucky honestly. Yeah, he's uh,

613
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,200
he's he's one of the kind I was.

614
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 2: I think I was joking with you earlier, but I

615
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:34,680
meant it because Ava was early and she like knocks

616
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,960
on the door and I'm like still getting ready and uh,

617
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,359
and She's like, is she here already? I'm like, yeah,

618
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,359
she's early. She's a speedular girl. Of course she's here. Yeah,

619
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,960
but like straight up the battom like, yeah, of course

620
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:45,519
she's here early.

621
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:46,839
Speaker 1: Okay.

622
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 2: So a lot of performers describe a gap between what

623
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,920
they imagine the industry would be and what it actually is.

624
00:29:53,799 --> 00:29:56,200
Have you found that the industry is a lot different

625
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,759
than what you expected and what it had surprised you

626
00:29:58,799 --> 00:29:59,200
the most?

627
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 1: Oh? Okay, So is it different from what I imagined

628
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,759
like prior to doing my research, Yeah, of course, because

629
00:30:06,799 --> 00:30:09,359
I didn't know about the camera angles and things like that.

630
00:30:10,079 --> 00:30:13,519
But what really surprised me the most was how welcoming

631
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,359
everyone is. I really think that I don't know if

632
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:22,119
my experience is unique, but I've had so many nice

633
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,079
experiences and so many nice people that I've just met

634
00:30:26,119 --> 00:30:30,200
through the industry, and they just, you know, welcoming with

635
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,799
open arms, And I thought it was very gay, keepy

636
00:30:33,279 --> 00:30:35,880
I thought it was going to be very much like Caddie,

637
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:40,000
but I don't know. I've been very very fortunate.

638
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:45,039
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, it is a really welcoming, open community

639
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,400
I think. I mean, I've said this so many times, like,

640
00:30:47,799 --> 00:30:49,720
you know, the people are the reason that I stay.

641
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,519
And I think that there is a real sense of

642
00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:55,839
like camaraderie when you have people who come together that

643
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,400
have an unusual job that isn't necessarily seen in a

644
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,759
positive life and that's the world, you know what I mean,

645
00:31:01,799 --> 00:31:04,000
And I think that that brings us closer. I think

646
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,119
there's probably also something to do with the fact that,

647
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,480
like you're intimate with other people for a living. That

648
00:31:08,599 --> 00:31:11,960
adds to that, right, But yeah, it's definitely kind of

649
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,440
like a family, and everyone's very supportive of each other.

650
00:31:15,519 --> 00:31:18,400
And I think a lot of performers want other new

651
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,720
girls to have a good experience, either because like they

652
00:31:21,759 --> 00:31:24,119
want them to not have the experience that they had

653
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,440
because not everybody has a good experience coming in, or

654
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,200
they just like want them to make sure that they

655
00:31:29,599 --> 00:31:32,079
go about it the right way because it is one

656
00:31:32,079 --> 00:31:33,960
of those things that you can't take back. And like,

657
00:31:34,039 --> 00:31:36,359
once you're in your in you know, kind of like

658
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,839
the Mafia exactly.

659
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,759
Speaker 1: I felt like I was like stepped in. It was crazy.

660
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 2: You also started off with really good people, Yeah, and

661
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,279
I think that that is very helpful and made you protected.

662
00:31:47,599 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: I think it's very much because of my upbringing that

663
00:31:51,279 --> 00:31:53,440
I can kind of see who I want to associate

664
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,880
myself with. Yeah, and that's another benefit of moving around

665
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,680
and meeting new people constantly. I observe and then I

666
00:32:00,799 --> 00:32:03,839
integrate myself because I'm very picky and choosy with who

667
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,000
I associate myself with.

668
00:32:05,279 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense considering like, yeah,

669
00:32:08,519 --> 00:32:10,720
the way that you're raised. Now you've said that you

670
00:32:10,799 --> 00:32:16,000
rarely have sex off camera. There's something almost counterintuitive about

671
00:32:16,039 --> 00:32:19,279
being very sexually active on camera and relatively celibate in

672
00:32:19,319 --> 00:32:21,240
your personal life. So how do you hold these two

673
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,160
things together? Like in your own head.

674
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,759
Speaker 1: The not having sex off camera thing is mainly because

675
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,519
obviously testing, I don't want to sleep with every talent

676
00:32:30,799 --> 00:32:33,559
off camera that I have, So I don't want the

677
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,799
talent to think that, oh, just because I fucked her

678
00:32:35,839 --> 00:32:38,680
on camera, I can fuck her off camera. So the

679
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,640
people that I do have sex with are very much

680
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:46,519
in the industry and it's rare because how the poor

681
00:32:46,559 --> 00:32:49,039
guys constantly have to pop. Yeah, they have to have

682
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,759
orgasms all the time. It's so hard. So I don't

683
00:32:52,799 --> 00:32:53,400
want to like.

684
00:32:53,559 --> 00:32:57,039
Speaker 2: When sex is your job, sometimes to check for fun

685
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,720
is not really exactly.

686
00:32:59,039 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: So people that I do have sex with, you know,

687
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:04,920
we have to kind of make sure that we're both

688
00:33:05,519 --> 00:33:08,079
in a good space to be able to do it.

689
00:33:08,119 --> 00:33:09,960
And the kind of sex I have off camera is

690
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,279
so psychotic that I feel like I don't want any

691
00:33:13,279 --> 00:33:15,880
bruising or anything. So I just want to keep my

692
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,079
job first. That's my biggest priority. When you say psychotic, Like,

693
00:33:19,119 --> 00:33:21,799
what do you mean? I like to get like really

694
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,920
tied up or like like I like really rough, rough

695
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,920
rough sex. So my personal life. Yeah, and now you

696
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,519
can't even choke on camera, I'm.

697
00:33:29,359 --> 00:33:33,039
Speaker 2: Like, come on, yeah, what what are we doing? I

698
00:33:33,119 --> 00:33:37,680
know credit card companies would not approve of this camera, No,

699
00:33:37,799 --> 00:33:40,440
they would, They would call the police. So do you

700
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,079
like BDSM? Do are you generally submissive? I'm very submissive.

701
00:33:44,759 --> 00:33:47,400
I don't know if I've experienced bads. I like to

702
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,640
get topped more than I like to get dummed. Right,

703
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,240
that makes sense.

704
00:33:51,319 --> 00:33:52,799
Speaker 1: But you like to get tied up. I like to

705
00:33:52,799 --> 00:33:55,359
get tied up. Yeah, I just want to like lose

706
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,839
all control of my body and have someone just completely

707
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,519
take control. Yeah. Yeah, that's hot to me.

708
00:34:02,079 --> 00:34:03,519
Speaker 2: Now, you said that you don't know if you'll ever

709
00:34:03,559 --> 00:34:06,039
be able to truly settle down, but eventually you want

710
00:34:06,079 --> 00:34:09,880
monogamy outside of work. What does the right arrangement look

711
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:10,480
like to you.

712
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: I don't know their dynamic completely, but I think, like

713
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,400
Ellie Clutch and Jack and I have such a beautiful relationship,

714
00:34:17,559 --> 00:34:20,039
and I like their dynamic. I like that work is

715
00:34:20,079 --> 00:34:23,000
work and they're very much such an amazing couple. So

716
00:34:23,079 --> 00:34:27,559
I think something along those lines, where work is work

717
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:32,320
and we keep it professional, but eventually, you know, I

718
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,719
want us to be to be together. The only reason

719
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,639
I say I'm not really looking to settle down at

720
00:34:36,679 --> 00:34:40,920
any point soon is because again I'm so new that

721
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,920
I don't want to have to come home and answer

722
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,800
to somebody or explain to them why I keep shooting

723
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,519
with this person, because at the end of the day

724
00:34:49,079 --> 00:34:51,480
that will be something that would happen. Why do you

725
00:34:51,559 --> 00:34:55,559
keep shooting with this person? I just don't want the

726
00:34:55,679 --> 00:34:58,360
problems that would come along with that and having to

727
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:04,639
explain myself. So once I feel comfortable in the job

728
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,760
and once I figure out the ropes, then maybe, but

729
00:35:08,159 --> 00:35:10,039
even then I just I don't know.

730
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 2: I mean, it's hard to date in the industry and

731
00:35:13,039 --> 00:35:14,840
outside the industry for different reasons.

732
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,679
Speaker 1: Right, absolutely, yeah, And I'm not like on apps, I'm

733
00:35:17,679 --> 00:35:20,320
not a dater. I think I'm very much like a

734
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,719
meet them in the wild kind of person, and the

735
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,880
people the wild i'mond is like, I'm like, why am

736
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,760
I at this? Why they're so sketchy, Like I don't

737
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,320
want a boyfriend or girlfriend here now, speaking of the wild,

738
00:35:33,519 --> 00:35:35,519
do you think you'd ever date a fan? I don't

739
00:35:35,639 --> 00:35:37,639
know if I would data fan, and do you know why,

740
00:35:37,679 --> 00:35:39,679
because I don't want to be surrounded by a yes man.

741
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,800
I want someone that would challenge me. And I feel like,

742
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,480
if you date a fan, whatever you want, And I

743
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,400
don't know if that's going to be the case, but

744
00:35:48,599 --> 00:35:50,840
in my head, if I data fan, they're just like,

745
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,880
whatever you want, whatever you want, and I hate that.

746
00:35:53,599 --> 00:35:55,760
I hate that. I want us to push each other.

747
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,760
I want you to like have some sort of boundaries

748
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,760
for me, because I'll go and say, like I'll go

749
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,679
buck wild. So unless you unless you put rules down

750
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,920
and I look at you as someone that I have

751
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,360
to respect.

752
00:36:08,519 --> 00:36:11,519
Speaker 2: So you feel like you need to come. You kind

753
00:36:11,519 --> 00:36:12,440
of have to feel like you're.

754
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 1: On equal footing exactly, or someone who's above me that

755
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,960
I look up to, because every relationship that I've had,

756
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,559
I've always exceeded my partner and I hate feeling masculine

757
00:36:23,159 --> 00:36:25,760
and they put me in my masculine. Yeah, so I

758
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,079
just want someone that's going to put me in my feminine.

759
00:36:28,159 --> 00:36:30,519
Speaker 2: I guess it depends on like what it means to

760
00:36:30,519 --> 00:36:32,960
be a fan exactly, you know what I mean, Because

761
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,920
like you can say, like, you know, you say like

762
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,320
you're a fan of like you're a fan of like Asakira,

763
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,360
But I'm sure that you don't like consider herself her

764
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,800
to be like above you, like in that way, you

765
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,000
know what I mean. And you can be a fan

766
00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:50,440
of someone it's work, but still, yeah, I don't know.

767
00:36:50,519 --> 00:36:52,760
It's a hard dynamic to now it is a fan

768
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,920
and I've never experienced it.

769
00:36:55,159 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's like what is a fan?

770
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,960
What is defined as a fan? Yeah? You know exactly. Yeah.

771
00:37:03,159 --> 00:37:04,719
I would hope my partner likes me and is a

772
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,320
fan of me, but I don't want them to be like,

773
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:07,280
what do we want? Princess?

774
00:37:07,519 --> 00:37:11,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know speaking of is Penisi is important to you? Yes,

775
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,639
there was no hesitation. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna.

776
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 1: Lie to you. I'm so I'm so lucky. Every partner

777
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,360
I've had, even prior to porn, has had a huge dick,

778
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:26,000
and yeah it is. Sorry, it is what it is,

779
00:37:26,039 --> 00:37:29,119
but I'm not going to sugarcoat it. What is like

780
00:37:29,119 --> 00:37:33,440
the minimum size for you? Probably like seven inches? And like,

781
00:37:33,519 --> 00:37:37,880
I like girth. Okay, yeah, I'm not the skinny ones

782
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,559
kind of like poke at me and it hurts me

783
00:37:39,679 --> 00:37:42,639
so so I prefer girth over length, even if it's

784
00:37:42,679 --> 00:37:43,840
shorter than seven.

785
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 2: Is it possible for you to have too big of

786
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:46,320
a dick?

787
00:37:47,079 --> 00:37:51,159
Speaker 1: Yeah? I could never date Dread. I like you that

788
00:37:51,159 --> 00:37:53,000
that name was good. I love him so much. I

789
00:37:53,039 --> 00:37:55,960
know he's such a nice guy. Like, oh but man,

790
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,519
when I did that scene, I was like, well, first

791
00:37:58,519 --> 00:38:01,480
of all, I was very proud of myself and he's

792
00:38:01,519 --> 00:38:04,199
such a gentle giant that it was. It was doable,

793
00:38:04,519 --> 00:38:06,519
you know, I was. George called me, he was like,

794
00:38:06,559 --> 00:38:08,000
do you think you can do it? I'm like George,

795
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,280
I can do it. I'm the man for the job.

796
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,639
But I was like, you know, if I had to

797
00:38:15,679 --> 00:38:17,400
do that on the regular, I don't know, But then again,

798
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,400
maybe maybe I could. I've surprised myself. How was girth?

799
00:38:20,559 --> 00:38:23,400
Did you work with Chrismaster? Yes? How is that amazing

800
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,920
that I can do? I can do that on the regular.

801
00:38:26,079 --> 00:38:28,599
Speaker 2: You can do girth? Yeah, I've never seen it in person.

802
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:30,880
He's only shown me a picture. You've never seen it

803
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,760
in person? Well, actually no, he showed it to me

804
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,280
soft when he came on the podcast. Yeah, but I

805
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,840
only I've only seen it because I don't shoot scenes anymore.

806
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,400
He showed it to me, and he showed it to

807
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,440
my mom. He showed it to What did she say?

808
00:38:43,559 --> 00:38:44,920
She said, congratulations.

809
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if I've showed my mom

810
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,719
his penis I've shown I've sent him a picture of

811
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,079
his hands. How does your mom feel about you actually

812
00:38:52,079 --> 00:38:53,800
working in the industry? Now that you brought that up,

813
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,440
we kind of like dilly dally around it. I don't know, Okay,

814
00:38:56,559 --> 00:39:00,199
Like showing the penis of the guy you were just

815
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,000
would not be I showed her the penis or a hand.

816
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:05,159
I just say he has a huge jack.

817
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:09,039
Speaker 2: I'm like, and then you show him a picture like

818
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:10,679
just guess.

819
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, okay, But my mom's not a size queen

820
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,719
like I am. I don't think because not to like,

821
00:39:16,599 --> 00:39:18,920
you know, yeah, talk shit about anyone, but I don't

822
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:23,599
think anyone is a size pain quite like him. You were.

823
00:39:24,079 --> 00:39:26,239
You were the queen of size queens. I love I

824
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,400
love me some BG Dick.

825
00:39:30,119 --> 00:39:33,639
Speaker 2: So you came into the industry knowing exactly what you wanted.

826
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,920
Now that you're in, it is the industry what you

827
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:36,840
thought it was going to be.

828
00:39:37,199 --> 00:39:39,320
Speaker 1: It is so much better than I thought it was

829
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,599
going to be. Holly, I wake up and you know,

830
00:39:41,639 --> 00:39:44,719
even if I'm having a bad day, I'm so fucking grateful.

831
00:39:45,079 --> 00:39:48,960
I'm so grateful. I'm truly living my dream and it

832
00:39:49,079 --> 00:39:51,760
feels it feels surreal. Even driving on the way here,

833
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,280
I almost cried because I was like, how am I here?

834
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,599
Like living in Los Angeles with my dream agent, doing

835
00:39:58,599 --> 00:40:02,039
my dream job, with the people that I'm around. I

836
00:40:02,079 --> 00:40:04,000
was like, how did I pull this off? Like I'm

837
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,519
getting emotional thinking about it. But it truly is like

838
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,480
what about everything in the adult industry like makes it

839
00:40:10,519 --> 00:40:12,599
the dream job? For you. I get to have sex

840
00:40:12,679 --> 00:40:16,800
for a living like and it's kind of art in

841
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,920
a way. And I get to meet all these amazing

842
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,280
people who are also doing the same thing, and there's

843
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:27,079
no hostility or anything like. It's just it feels surreal.

844
00:40:28,199 --> 00:40:31,039
And to be accepted by the people that I chose

845
00:40:31,079 --> 00:40:34,159
to tell beforehand and to have their support. By the way,

846
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,039
no one was surprised. I was like, what do you

847
00:40:37,119 --> 00:40:40,840
mean we always know your r Yeah, I was like, what,

848
00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:44,079
I like, do you not know how you made your actiancing?

849
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,559
But no, it's it's incredible. I'm grateful. What do you

850
00:40:49,559 --> 00:40:50,920
think is the best scene you've ever shot?

851
00:40:51,039 --> 00:40:53,519
Speaker 2: Like if someone was watching this they've never seen any

852
00:40:53,559 --> 00:40:54,800
of your work and they're like, Okay, I want to

853
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:55,280
check her out.

854
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: She's hot, Like where would you send them? Okay. I

855
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,960
haven't washed it myself, but I saw the trailer for it,

856
00:41:00,119 --> 00:41:02,679
and I did my first boy boy girl for Browsers

857
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,119
and it was just a tag team. It wasn't a

858
00:41:04,159 --> 00:41:06,480
DP or anything, but it was Mick Blue and Ricky

859
00:41:06,559 --> 00:41:10,199
Jawson hot. I think it might be it might be

860
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,480
that one. It was amazing. But every time I finished

861
00:41:12,519 --> 00:41:14,599
the scene and I'm like, oh, this is my best scene,

862
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:18,000
you know, because I'm getting more and more comfortable and

863
00:41:18,079 --> 00:41:20,320
understanding of what to do on set because you just

864
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,960
kind of get thrown in. Yeah, there's no training, no,

865
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,719
you know. So now that I'm kind of getting more

866
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:29,719
aware of my surroundings, what looks good, what doesn't look good? Okay?

867
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,760
Is that live on browsers now? It is live on

868
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:35,159
browsers nowhang guys, browsers and I just show up for Vixen,

869
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,559
which is fun. Oh wow, how'd that go? I felt

870
00:41:38,559 --> 00:41:41,119
like a princess. You look like a Vixen girl. Oh

871
00:41:41,159 --> 00:41:44,360
it was so beautiful. I was like, that's me and

872
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,840
they showed me the sex dolls. It was like, I

873
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,599
look like an angel doing ungodly things.

874
00:41:51,519 --> 00:41:55,199
Speaker 2: It's like, wow, Yeah, there's stills a really beautiful Any crazy,

875
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,840
like terrible scenes that you've had or have you avoided

876
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:58,639
that for the most.

877
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:02,280
Speaker 1: Part, because I'm very lucky with Speagler, I have not

878
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,519
walked off set and cried. So yeah, no, it's been

879
00:42:06,679 --> 00:42:08,199
sunshine and rainbows thankfully.

880
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,519
Speaker 2: Anyone in the industry that you look up to, particularly

881
00:42:10,559 --> 00:42:13,280
besides Spiegler, I guess you're awesome.

882
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 1: Anyone Asa I love Angela. I think she's amazing. Riley,

883
00:42:18,679 --> 00:42:20,920
all the legends. You got to look up to the legends.

884
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:22,840
I mean, they paved the way so I can be here,

885
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,280
and I'm so grateful for them.

886
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:28,079
Speaker 2: Any short term goals for you in the next year

887
00:42:28,199 --> 00:42:30,039
is something that you want to accomplish.

888
00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:32,679
Speaker 1: Short term goals. I am doing my first feature, so

889
00:42:32,679 --> 00:42:36,239
I'm excited for that. Okay, my goal it's kind of

890
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,199
I really want to win Best New Started. I really

891
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,440
want to, but I just don't know if it's within

892
00:42:42,639 --> 00:42:45,800
the possibilities. But even a nomination would be fucking amazing.

893
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:48,360
But yeah, that's kind of my goal right now.

894
00:42:48,559 --> 00:42:50,599
Speaker 2: Because when did you officially start, Like how long have

895
00:42:50,599 --> 00:42:51,039
you been in?

896
00:42:51,119 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 1: My first scene came out June twenty eight last year,

897
00:42:56,039 --> 00:42:57,840
so I was kind of in that window where I

898
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,719
wasn't able to be qualified for this anuary that had

899
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,039
just passed, so I'm qualified for the following year.

900
00:43:03,079 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 2: It's probably better though, because now you have more scenes

901
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:08,400
under your belt, you have more experience because at that point,

902
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:12,079
because the nominations are announced or like they're considered what

903
00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:15,079
in September I think, so yeah, it's like around September,

904
00:43:15,159 --> 00:43:17,719
so like you would there wouldn't be that much yeah,

905
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:19,440
of you out there. I think that's why like Best

906
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,119
News startlet can fit within a two year window, because

907
00:43:22,159 --> 00:43:24,079
you can have that weird like gap where there's just

908
00:43:24,119 --> 00:43:27,039
not enough like material of you out there to make

909
00:43:27,039 --> 00:43:27,719
a good judgment.

910
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so that is kind of my goal, but

911
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,360
I don't know. I mean, look, just even a nomination

912
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,840
to be with the girls would be so cool because like,

913
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,440
the girls that I came up with this year are

914
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,119
all amazing, and they're so beautiful and super talented, So

915
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,760
just even being alongside them would be cool. Yeah.

916
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,679
Speaker 2: I have a feeling I'm going to predict that you're

917
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,840
going to get the nomination stop at the very least.

918
00:43:50,599 --> 00:43:52,920
So well, Ava, thank you so much for coming on.

919
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,039
Thank you such a pleasure. I know that we have

920
00:43:56,199 --> 00:43:58,960
questions for you from our Patreon members. Thank you guys

921
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,760
so much for sending this. We're going to do that

922
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,960
in a separate segment, but for now, can you tell

923
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,719
everyone where to find you online?

924
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: Yeah? So my socials are at It's Ava a Mirah

925
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,719
pretty much on everything, literally everything, and.

926
00:44:12,679 --> 00:44:15,400
Speaker 2: Your Instagram's down right now. Instagram's down, but you're hoping

927
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:17,800
to get it back up. Please if anyone can get

928
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:18,440
it back.

929
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: The one, please help. Oh god, yeah, it's everybody's fucking nightmare.

930
00:44:25,639 --> 00:44:26,639
It's so rude.

931
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:28,639
Speaker 2: Are you going to start a backup? I mean, even

932
00:44:28,679 --> 00:44:29,840
if you get it back, what think is I.

933
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: Would need a new device for a backup. So yeah,

934
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,159
you know what, maybe I I should probably do that. Honestly,

935
00:44:38,159 --> 00:44:40,559
I might. I might do that after this. Yeah, I've

936
00:44:40,559 --> 00:44:42,079
lost my mind. I'm like, I can't do this.

937
00:44:42,199 --> 00:44:44,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's just like at this point now,

938
00:44:44,639 --> 00:44:47,320
it's like everybody needs to have a backup, sad, just

939
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,280
to be safe.

940
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,519
Speaker 1: Even then though, like losing it is so devastating. They're

941
00:44:51,519 --> 00:44:54,199
calling a deep platforming sex workers. That's a new term.

942
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:58,840
I heard. It's happening a lot. Yeah. Yeah, we're all.

943
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:05,880
We're all a little nervous even O. We're here on YouTube. Please,

944
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I've been here for a long time. We just hit

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four hundred thousand subscribers. Go, you're gonna stay. We're not

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gonna talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Well anyways, thank you guys so much for watching. Thank

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you so much againstripchat for sponsoring the episode. If you

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guys are watching this on YouTube, you can go follow

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them on YouTube, scworld dot official that's also their handle

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on Instagram. And of course, if you're a member of

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my Patreon, you can watch these streamed lib and access

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the bonus Q and A that we're about to do.

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That's patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered. Go to

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hollylinks dot com for access to all of my platforms.

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Thank you guys so much for watching, and I will

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see you on the next one.