WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.120 --> 00:00:12.400 The Johnson's Wax Program with Fiver McGhee and Mollie, the 2 00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:15.279 makers of Johnson's Wax Products for Home and Industry present 3 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:17.920 Fiverer McGee and Molly with Bill Thompson, Gail Gordon, Arthur 4 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:18.879 Q Brant. 5 00:00:18.679 --> 00:00:19.920 And me Harlow Wilcos. 6 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:22.879 The script is by Don Quinn and Phil Leslie, music 7 00:00:22.920 --> 00:00:34.159 by the King's Men and Goody Maill's Orchestra. Not long 8 00:00:34.200 --> 00:00:36.520 ago I described a floor that had been polished with 9 00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:38.200 Johnson's self Polishing glow. 10 00:00:37.960 --> 00:00:39.920 Coat as having a happy shine. 11 00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:43.039 A friend of mine questioned the phrase, saying floors are 12 00:00:43.119 --> 00:00:45.799 neither happy nor sad, and therefore the phrase wasn't a 13 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:48.759 good one. Well, I wonder think of it in terms 14 00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:50.840 of how the lady of the house feels. There was 15 00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:53.920 a time when tiresome scrubbing dulled the noleum, and no 16 00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:56.240 one was happy about it, least of all the person 17 00:00:56.280 --> 00:00:59.439 who did the works. Not so with Johnson's self polishing 18 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:02.119 glow coat. No, indeed, you just apply and let dry. 19 00:01:02.200 --> 00:01:04.599 There's no rubbing or buffing, no hard work at all. 20 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:07.640 You will be happy just looking at the bright, warm luster. 21 00:01:07.719 --> 00:01:11.000 Johnson's glow coat will quickly and easily give your linoleum 22 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:14.359 and other floors that shining glossy coat will protect them, 23 00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:17.359 make them last years longer, and you'll be happy at 24 00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:19.879 how easy they are to keep clean and lovely. I 25 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:23.000 really believe the phrase happy shine is one you'll use 26 00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:26.640 after you use Johnson's self polishing blow coat to bring 27 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:28.439 out the beauty of your homes. 28 00:01:28.879 --> 00:01:31.280 Long the right side, shine up the right side, bring 29 00:01:31.319 --> 00:01:32.439 out the beauty of the all. 30 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:44.439 Missus Molly McGee of seventy nine Wistful Vista has an 31 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:48.120 aunt who is richer than a double chocolate malted, but 32 00:01:48.239 --> 00:01:50.560 about as open handed as if she were carrying a 33 00:01:50.560 --> 00:01:54.920 pint of loose diamonds. However, this Christmas she really loosened 34 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:57.519 up to the extents of well. 35 00:01:57.719 --> 00:01:59.120 Listen to Fibber McGhee and. 36 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:09.560 Molly a good old Aunt Sarah bless her steel plate 37 00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:12.360 at old hard imagine her doing a thing. 38 00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:12.919 Like this for us. 39 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.919 Well, I always told you Aunt Sarah's heart was in 40 00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:16.039 the right place, McGee. 41 00:02:16.039 --> 00:02:18.280 The thing being in the right place ain't necessarily always 42 00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:20.719 sometimes always too good to see. I walked into a 43 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:22.759 bear trap once that was in exactly the right place 44 00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:25.960 to catch a bear. But as I often say life 45 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:28.879 is like a jar peanut butter. Why I don't know. 46 00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:29.840 I'm no philosopher. 47 00:02:31.719 --> 00:02:33.879 Well, anyway, I think it was pretty sweet of ant 48 00:02:33.960 --> 00:02:36.199 Sarah to send us eat a ten dollars gift certificate 49 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:37.719 on the Bontown department store. 50 00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:39.360 Pretty thoughtful. 51 00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:43.960 Yeah, I've put more thought than that in scratching my elbow. However, 52 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.159 I'll admit old Sarah Driscoll has softened up a little. 53 00:02:46.199 --> 00:02:47.479 She thinks more of a butt. 54 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:48.360 Than a game, more than in April. 55 00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:51.800 Hey, what're you gonna do with yours? 56 00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:55.879 I'm gonna save it till I really want something. How 57 00:02:55.919 --> 00:02:56.400 about you? 58 00:02:56.520 --> 00:02:58.199 I'm gonna go down to the bon Ton and blow 59 00:02:58.240 --> 00:03:01.000 my ten bucks on the silliest pool. It's just uselessless 60 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:02.479 gimmick I can find in the joint. 61 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:05.639 I see, when did this shopping expedition get underweight? 62 00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:05.960 Ah? 63 00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:07.520 Right now, I had to go out anyway, I might 64 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:08.919 as well drop in on the bond Town at the 65 00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:09.360 same time. 66 00:03:09.479 --> 00:03:11.080 I know you forgot to mail the last of our 67 00:03:11.159 --> 00:03:11.719 Christmas card? 68 00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:12.840 Was there all took care of. 69 00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:15.280 I mailed the last of the cards to the people 70 00:03:15.319 --> 00:03:16.960 we forgot the thought of us at the last minute 71 00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:18.560 and send us cards too. Late for us to send 72 00:03:18.560 --> 00:03:25.639 them Christmas cards for Christmas yesterday? 73 00:03:25.800 --> 00:03:28.000 Would you mind running over that again with a little 74 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:28.800 more punctuation. 75 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:30.360 I mailed the last of the cards. 76 00:03:30.639 --> 00:03:32.840 Tell me later, No, forget the whole thing. 77 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:36.599 Come in, well, my gosh, if it ain't the weather man. 78 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:38.719 Hi, for get home, mister Williams, do come in. 79 00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:42.240 Thank you missus McGee? Hello McGee. Did I by any 80 00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:45.360 chance leave my overshoes here yesterday? No, you didn't, foggy. 81 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:46.840 I had to go over on your back porch and 82 00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:52.800 get them here? They are, Oh, thank you. Our forecasts 83 00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:54.199 indicate bad weather coming. 84 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:54.599 Oh. 85 00:03:54.680 --> 00:03:57.479 By the way, mister Williams, did your offer send up 86 00:03:57.479 --> 00:03:59.919 those weather balloons with all the instruments drapped onto? 87 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:00.560 Oh? 88 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:03.199 Yes, yes, every morning. As a matter of fact, I 89 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:07.639 was a pioneer in weather ballooning. I sent up the 90 00:04:07.639 --> 00:04:10.759 first balloon equipped with weather instruments and short wave radio. 91 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:13.199 I stood on the ground and listened to the results 92 00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:15.199 with headphones. It was amazing. 93 00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:17.079 My gosh, how bet it was foggy. What do you hear? 94 00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:20.040 Thirteen minutes of Mark Perkins and a few bars of 95 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:22.600 Carmon LOMBARDA. 96 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:26.160 Well, I don't want to ask your government of vision 97 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:29.680 to betray any information, mister Williams, But do you think 98 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:30.959 we'll have an early spring? 99 00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:33.920 No, missus McGee, I think this will be a long 100 00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:37.560 hard winter set an instruments. That prediction is the result 101 00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:40.439 of my observations of nature McGhee. Or I have noticed 102 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:42.399 that when we have a long hard winter, the rabbit's 103 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:45.439 fur is heavier, the bark on the hickory tree is thicker, 104 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:47.759 and you wait longer for a street car. 105 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:51.920 So why do you think this will be a long 106 00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:52.600 hard winter? 107 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:56.199 My wife's brother every fall until now he's come to 108 00:04:56.279 --> 00:04:58.639 visit us with two extra shirts on a pocket comb. 109 00:04:59.279 --> 00:05:01.879 This time he brought a trunk, a portable phonograph, and 110 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:06.639 the first lesson of a correspondence course. Yes, it looks 111 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:20.920 like a long hard winter. Well, good day. Probably they 112 00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:22.800 had it all in feety's round. Okay, you going down 113 00:05:22.839 --> 00:05:23.680 the bunk on with me? 114 00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:26.399 Yes, I guess that will be gee, Although I don't 115 00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:28.800 know why you have to spend your gift certificates so quickly. 116 00:05:28.839 --> 00:05:31.160 Wow, I'm scared of Sarah will reconsider and stop payming 117 00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:32.920 on it. And this is the first year she hasn't 118 00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:35.519 sent me them. Corny wool socks that she knits, you 119 00:05:35.560 --> 00:05:37.319 know them green and orange ones that never fit. 120 00:05:37.759 --> 00:05:40.519 Oh, I wouldn't say never, mcgie. That isn't fair, dance Sarah. 121 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:43.040 When did any socks she ever knitted for me ever fitted? 122 00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:45.920 I can tell you exactly. Remember the green one, she 123 00:05:45.959 --> 00:05:48.000 said in nineteen thirty nine, and the orange one she 124 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:49.279 said in nineteen forty five. 125 00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:50.480 What that got to do with a fit? 126 00:05:50.639 --> 00:05:52.199 Well, the left. 127 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:53.480 Hand one of the green pair, in the right hand 128 00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:55.199 one of the orange pair fits you perfectly. 129 00:05:57.160 --> 00:05:59.360 In sixteen years she sent me one pair that fit 130 00:05:59.639 --> 00:06:03.240 one sock and want orange. Gosh, pull up my pants 131 00:06:03.279 --> 00:06:07.240 and I look like a traffic signal. Well, sir, this 132 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.439 year by George, I'm gonna buy Something's the dog going prebolously. 133 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:10.240 Hell me in? 134 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:14.040 Oh hi, old time, Hello there, mister old timer. 135 00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:19.160 Colder kids, Hey, you know something? Poor Night's New Year's Eve? Eh, 136 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:19.959 you kids. 137 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:24.959 Gonna go out and stet around any old timer. 138 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:26.360 I'll tell you how it is with us. On New 139 00:06:26.439 --> 00:06:28.879 Year's Eve, we gave up fighting our way through a 140 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:30.920 bunch of yokels with more dollars than cents to pay 141 00:06:30.920 --> 00:06:32.600 forty bucks to sit at the table the size of 142 00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:34.319 a milk and stool next to the kitchen door of 143 00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:35.560 a minkline mess hall. 144 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:37.879 For at midnight to put on paper caps and link 145 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:39.879 arms with a bunch of people you wouldn't associate with 146 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:42.399 in the daytime and sing shit out acquaintance to be forgotten. 147 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:44.399 That case, they certainly showed me. 148 00:06:46.439 --> 00:06:49.120 And everybody yells Happy New Year with tears running down 149 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:51.639 into their ginger ale. And by that time you've got 150 00:06:51.639 --> 00:06:53.680 a headache and your wife has lost her gloves, and 151 00:06:53.720 --> 00:06:55.639 the waiter brings you a check he's been carrying around 152 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:57.600 for six weeks waiting for some pidgeon like you. 153 00:06:58.680 --> 00:07:01.839 And you wait thirty minutes for the kicking girl to 154 00:07:01.879 --> 00:07:03.639 find your coat to taint in plain sight. 155 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:04.759 But she's angry. 156 00:07:04.439 --> 00:07:06.439 Because you only tip her a dollar and go outside 157 00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:08.319 to find that the parking lot boys have been listening 158 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:10.240 to your car radio and your battery's dead, and so 159 00:07:10.439 --> 00:07:11.759 is nineteen forty seven. 160 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:12.120 And so are you. 161 00:07:12.360 --> 00:07:17.079 So we're staying homes. 162 00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:27.600 Well, everybody's his own taste, Johnny, I'm gonna have my fun. Well, 163 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:30.720 I'm still too old to have any regrets. 164 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:34.160 I like the excitement of New Year's Eve. 165 00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:37.199 Crowds, yelling women, crime fenders, crunching. 166 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:39.879 And the happy cries of the pickpockets. 167 00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:41.720 Yes, sir, I'm. 168 00:07:41.560 --> 00:07:44.680 Gonna swing it this year. Good for you. Oh, by 169 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:46.079 the way, Johnny, can I borrow alone? 170 00:07:46.120 --> 00:07:48.399 If your watch it's for a party. New Year's Eve 171 00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:52.399 is watch, Yes, it's watch party. I wanna watch the 172 00:07:52.439 --> 00:07:53.639 old years sneak out. 173 00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:55.319 Like it was a shame of itself, like it ought 174 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:57.399 to be, and the New Year creep in like it 175 00:07:57.560 --> 00:07:58.279 was scared of death. 176 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:02.480 And you can't blame it. H good old nineteen forty seven, 177 00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:04.839 the year of the three trains? 178 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:06.040 What three trains? 179 00:08:06.279 --> 00:08:09.319 The Freedom Train, the Friendship train, and six inches more 180 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:15.920 than the galls skirts Nada had them. 181 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:18.480 You don't care for the new look, mister old timer? 182 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:22.079 What's new about a daughter? It's all stuff to me. 183 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:25.399 In my time, I've seen calves appear and disappear like 184 00:08:25.399 --> 00:08:26.519 I heard a cattle passing a. 185 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:27.480 Picket fans. 186 00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:31.279 Personally. Then new long skirts kind of embarrass me. 187 00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:32.360 Looks like they're losing. 188 00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:34.600 Whenever I meet a woman with her skirt down to 189 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:37.039 her ankles, I expect her to scream, wop and grab 190 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:37.840 her strict and doc. 191 00:08:37.720 --> 00:08:38.279 For a doorway. 192 00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:44.960 Dude, that is pretty good, kid. 193 00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:46.480 But that ain't the way I hear it. 194 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:51.840 Way I heard it one fire fans to Tuther Colare say. 195 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:58.639 He says, these. 196 00:08:57.960 --> 00:09:00.000 Little skirts are gonna make it tough for a young 197 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:00.759 feller to pick. 198 00:09:00.600 --> 00:09:01.440 A girl, ain't they. 199 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:04.720 Hodd Chon says ton of fire Well says the first 200 00:09:04.759 --> 00:09:05.600 fire up to. 201 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:07.399 Now her boy wanted to know if this girl was 202 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:08.919 not need He just had to look. 203 00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:10.840 Now he's got to listen. 204 00:09:20.799 --> 00:09:22.279 Hell emails from the orchestra iron. 205 00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:59.240 Now be some changes made. 206 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:11.399 Oh that's fun, sad, ye say, it's said, See. 207 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.840 Why it's an off the big storm, Againe. You certainly 208 00:11:02.919 --> 00:11:05.159 find something here for your gift certificates that you've gotten, 209 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:08.279 knoweth Leu's farm. I'm sure you don't want to spend 210 00:11:08.320 --> 00:11:08.720 it wisely. 211 00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:10.879 No, I'm gonna get something foolish and extravagant. If it 212 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:12.840 takes me all day, I'm gonna go through this store 213 00:11:12.919 --> 00:11:16.679 like a snapshot of Gregory Peck to a girl's dormitory. Now, 214 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:18.840 let me say, snardy folks, is that something I can 215 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:19.120 do for you? 216 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:19.399 Oh? 217 00:11:19.559 --> 00:11:21.240 Thank you very much. Are you a clerk? 218 00:11:21.399 --> 00:11:21.879 Yes, ma'am. 219 00:11:22.080 --> 00:11:25.080 Here at the store at home, I'm afore walker. White's 220 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:28.879 got a new baby. Well, here's our problem, dad. 221 00:11:29.200 --> 00:11:31.240 You see, I got a gift certificate for tend But hey, 222 00:11:31.799 --> 00:11:33.720 ain't you the guy that used to deliver our groceries? 223 00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:36.080 Yes, sir, I quit the grocery in this last week. 224 00:11:36.600 --> 00:11:38.480 Why if it's any of our business, which it isn't, 225 00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:39.960 so don't tell us if you want to be rude. 226 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:42.120 Well, you see it. 227 00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:44.000 My brother took cold and it turned into the morning 228 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:45.000 and they took him to the hospital. 229 00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:46.200 Oh that's too bad. 230 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:48.639 Yeah, for two weeks there he just kind of hovered 231 00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:50.799 between life and the Saturday evening post. 232 00:11:52.759 --> 00:11:53.639 Then they brought him home. 233 00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:56.039 And you quit the grocery so you can stay home 234 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:56.639 and look after him. 235 00:11:56.639 --> 00:11:56.679 Me. 236 00:11:57.080 --> 00:11:59.120 No, No, that was in Oregon nineteen thirty six. 237 00:12:00.600 --> 00:12:02.200 Nineteen thirty six. My goodness. 238 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:04.440 What's your brother getting sick in nineteen thirty six got 239 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:06.519 to do if you're quitting the grocery store last week? 240 00:12:06.840 --> 00:12:08.679 Well, man, the way I look at it, when a 241 00:12:08.720 --> 00:12:10.879 fellaw wants to quit a job, one excuse is good 242 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:11.240 as another. 243 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:16.960 Or do something might show you folks. 244 00:12:17.039 --> 00:12:19.759 Now we're just powling around. Dad got a ten dollars 245 00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:21.679 gift certificate to spend when I find something I don't 246 00:12:21.720 --> 00:12:22.440 particularly need. 247 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:24.799 Well, we got eight fours full of stuff we don't need. 248 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:27.519 I'm glad to sell you any part of it. 249 00:12:27.960 --> 00:12:30.840 Just call me a calling, Will Will? 250 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:32.399 Where are you, Oh Will? 251 00:12:32.759 --> 00:12:33.519 Robin Earth? Was that? 252 00:12:33.799 --> 00:12:33.919 Oh? 253 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:36.000 That's our will call apartment ms McGee. 254 00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:39.200 But I was saying, if. 255 00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:40.399 There's anything I can do, just look. 256 00:12:40.279 --> 00:12:42.120 Me up out all the gates up. 257 00:12:42.279 --> 00:12:42.480 Huh. 258 00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:45.320 The new electric stove with a little wind in the 259 00:12:45.399 --> 00:12:47.320 oven so you can peek in and see what's cooking. 260 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:48.720 Isn't that sweet? 261 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:50.639 What's new about that? We got a glass window on 262 00:12:50.679 --> 00:12:51.399 our oven at home. 263 00:12:51.639 --> 00:12:53.879 Yeah, but this one has a little steel Venetian blind 264 00:12:53.960 --> 00:12:57.240 on the inside. What do you suppose that's for? 265 00:12:57.879 --> 00:12:58.200 I don't know. 266 00:12:58.279 --> 00:13:00.240 I suppose that's for basketball women that want to cook 267 00:13:00.279 --> 00:13:11.840 a runk roast or something. Hey, let's go over here 268 00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:13.799 in the sporting good section. I might go for a 269 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:14.480 new fly rod. 270 00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:16.519 You know what, the new fly rod? 271 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:18.679 Yep. I don't know why you should want a fly rod. 272 00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:21.279 You can't even hit him with a pole. A pold newspaper. 273 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:31.360 Doesn't seem to be many clerks around here, doesn't or 274 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:32.200 customers either? 275 00:13:32.279 --> 00:13:34.519 No, not much like the week before Christmas. Boy, the 276 00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:36.919 pushing around. I took him here. Then if I could 277 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:38.720 have been haled through my feet, I could have vacuumed 278 00:13:38.759 --> 00:13:42.240 the whole store. Do you see anything in here for 279 00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:42.720 ten bucks? 280 00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:42.879 No? 281 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:43.480 I don't. 282 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:45.360 Oh, yes, there's an archery set. 283 00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:47.159 Exactly, No archery for. 284 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:47.440 Me, kid. 285 00:13:47.559 --> 00:13:49.440 I've been scared of Bo's narrow since I was thirteen 286 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:51.759 years old. Why us kids were playing William Tow and 287 00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:53.960 I put an apple on another kid's head. You remember 288 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.919 a toe headed kid in Peoria named Hardy Harry Hardy. 289 00:13:57.200 --> 00:13:59.720 Oh, of course i'd do. You boys used to call him. 290 00:13:59.559 --> 00:14:02.759 Pool cool heart. Yeah that's the guy. 291 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:03.399 Anyway. 292 00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:05.840 I put an apple on his head, walked back forty paces, 293 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:08.799 turned around and strung my bowl. Foolhardy stood there like 294 00:14:08.840 --> 00:14:11.080 a rock. He had a lot of faith in my marksmanship. 295 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:13.039 Yeah, he had a very accurate nick name too. 296 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:14.519 So what happened? 297 00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:16.200 I whipped my finger and held it up to test 298 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:18.559 the wind. Then I notch as an arrow, draws it 299 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:20.159 back to the hilt and whine. 300 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:25.000 Then what did you do there? 301 00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:26.399 Kill? O'Malley high pal? 302 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:28.639 Hey, where'd you pop up from? Omaha? 303 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:31.320 We didn't see you around here a minute ago. Mister Wilcotson. 304 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.080 Oh, I was behind the counter, down on the floor, 305 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:34.879 on my hands and knees. Hey, have you noticed the 306 00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:35.919 linoleum floor in here? 307 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:39.480 Well, not not particularly, mister Wilcox, but it's very nansome 308 00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:41.000 now that you mention it new? 309 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:41.879 Is it new? 310 00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:43.840 This linoleum is six years old? 311 00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:44.120 Gee? 312 00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:45.360 Imagine it looking. 313 00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:47.039 As good as this after being tramped on by all 314 00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:49.840 those Christmas shoppers this year and other years, tracking in 315 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:51.600 dust and slush and ran dirt. 316 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.519 I wonder how they keep it looking so bright and gleaming. 317 00:14:56.799 --> 00:14:59.440 Sat little Fibber, the fun loving McGee, his bright blue 318 00:14:59.480 --> 00:15:01.879 eyes twin with mischief as he sneaked a sly look 319 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:02.679 at his contracts. 320 00:15:08.399 --> 00:15:12.480 I know, I'll bet every good housekeeper knows Molly Johnson's 321 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.240 self polishing glocal selenoleum protection that makes dust and dirt 322 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:18.360 so easy to wipe up, that's so easy to apply 323 00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:21.000 and so quick to dry to a mirror like polish. 324 00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:23.879 Why if Johnson's glowcal can give even a busy store 325 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:26.879 such an air of quiet quality, don't you suppose. 326 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:28.240 You look waxy? 327 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:28.799 Yess? 328 00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:31.279 Pal far bit from me to get between a man's 329 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.519 bread and a man's butter but enough is enough? 330 00:15:33.639 --> 00:15:36.960 Okay, okay, how do you kids make off for Christmas? 331 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:37.080 Oh? 332 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:39.360 We a wonderful Christmas, mister Wilcox. 333 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:41.440 Hey, what a surprise we got from Molly's answer. 334 00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:43.279 You speak of my aunt swer A Ris. 335 00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:45.200 Is she the one that so. 336 00:15:45.799 --> 00:15:48.799 Said it that baby is so tight fisted her manicurist 337 00:15:48.840 --> 00:15:49.919 has to use a fluoroscope? 338 00:15:51.399 --> 00:15:52.200 But not this year. 339 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:54.600 She sent a seat a ten dollars gift certificate on 340 00:15:54.679 --> 00:15:57.799 the bomb tom, mister Wheelcox, And I'm saving not mine. 341 00:15:57.879 --> 00:16:00.399 I'm shooting the wad as of today before she escort 342 00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:02.399 back and sends me some more than corny socks. 343 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:05.360 Oh is he the one who knits those horrible wolf socks? 344 00:16:05.960 --> 00:16:07.960 That's ants there, mister wot's the very one. 345 00:16:08.039 --> 00:16:10.759 You've seen them things, Junior. In the first place, they 346 00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:12.879 don't fit. In the second place, the colors are awful. 347 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:15.120 They do look a bit like a prairie fire has 348 00:16:15.159 --> 00:16:17.039 seen through the bottom of an iodine bottle. 349 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:20.200 So I'm gonna blow my ten bucks certificates before the 350 00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:22.519 old moose changes her mind. Got any ideas of what 351 00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:22.879 I can get? 352 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:23.080 First? 353 00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:24.799 All dot bo on the bar, well, I'd suggest you 354 00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:27.120 go into the annex. Pal that's three holes over and 355 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:28.879 to the left. I saw a sign in there that 356 00:16:28.919 --> 00:16:31.559 said this department closing out by now dirty. 357 00:16:31.759 --> 00:16:33.440 Oh wonderful. What are they telling dirt? 358 00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:34.159 Well? 359 00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:43.799 Oh, let me see mom just a minute age you 360 00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:45.919 were telling me about when you were thirteen and putting 361 00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:47.799 apple on little food took. 362 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:48.240 Your bone hair. 363 00:16:48.679 --> 00:16:51.080 Please, will the head shipping clerk please report to the 364 00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:53.679 loaning platforms. Three of our drivers are loaded. 365 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:54.399 Thank you. 366 00:16:56.799 --> 00:16:59.080 Well, this ain't getting my ten gift certificate spent. 367 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:00.440 Let's go over in the Harbor department. 368 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:02.360 I'll see if I see anything you like, Miss McGee. 369 00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:05.000 I got some mumple fine tools here. Huh, here's a 370 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:08.000 socket wrench in case any of your sockets get loose. No, 371 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:10.240 is this your department too, Bud? 372 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:11.400 I thought you were up in front. 373 00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:13.079 Of the store. Well, kind of short on health today, 374 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:16.359 seems like short on customers too. Say I got something 375 00:17:16.359 --> 00:17:18.279 more in the sporting goods at might interest you, Miss McGee. 376 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:19.599 Got a good price on it too. 377 00:17:19.640 --> 00:17:20.279 Okay, what is it? 378 00:17:20.359 --> 00:17:21.359 I might taking off your hands? 379 00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:24.119 Well, it's one of them collapsible sixteen man rubber life rats, 380 00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:26.279 you know, just a thing for duck hut with a. 381 00:17:26.519 --> 00:17:27.880 No no, no, thank you. 382 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:28.960 We have one. 383 00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:31.960 Yeah, yeah, I got one. Bud picked it up at 384 00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.240 the Surplar store, although it would be handy to have 385 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:34.720 a spare one. 386 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:38.720 No, no, no, Mige. We just look around some mare, sir. 387 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:40.519 We caught you. If we find anything we want. 388 00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:41.720 Well, I'm always glad to help. 389 00:17:41.759 --> 00:17:44.279 Well, oh, hordy, doctor Camel, something I can do for you? 390 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:46.599 No thanks, Carl, I'm just cutting through to the office. 391 00:17:46.599 --> 00:17:49.720 Oh hello doctor, Well him, Molly, where's it? 392 00:17:50.480 --> 00:17:50.640 Oh? 393 00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:52.000 There you are, beetle Puss. 394 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:54.759 I haven't seen you since Christmas. 395 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:57.400 Yes, it's been a wonderful week for us too, Baggie. 396 00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:01.480 Let's have more like it this coming year, shall we. 397 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:04.839 Oh McGhee, don't talk to the doctor like that. Well, 398 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:07.119 did you have a nice Christmas? Doctor? 399 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.359 Wonderful Molly. And before I forget it, and I'd like 400 00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:12.839 to forget it as soon as possible, I want to 401 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:15.680