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<v Speaker 1>This is section forty of The Gilded Age. This LibriVox

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<v Speaker 1>recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, A

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<v Speaker 1>Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter forty. Open your ears, for which of you will

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<v Speaker 1>stop the vent of hearing? When loud rumor speaks, I

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<v Speaker 1>from the orient to the drooping west, making the wind

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<v Speaker 1>my post horse still unfold. The axe commenced on this

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<v Speaker 1>ball of earth. Upon my tongues. Continual slanders ride the

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<v Speaker 1>which in every language I pronounce stuffing the ears of

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<v Speaker 1>men with false reports. King Henry the Fourth, as may

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<v Speaker 1>be readily believed, Colonel Beriah Sellars was by this time

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<v Speaker 1>one of the best known men in Washington. For the

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<v Speaker 1>first time in his life, his talents had a fair field.

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<v Speaker 1>He was now at the center of the manufacture of

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<v Speaker 1>gigantic schemes, of speculations of all sorts, of political and

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<v Speaker 1>social gossip. The atmosphere was full of little and big rumors,

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<v Speaker 1>and of vast undefined expectations. Everybody was in haste, too,

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<v Speaker 1>to push on his private plan, and feverish in his haste,

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<v Speaker 1>as if in constant apprehension that tomorrow would be judgment

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<v Speaker 1>day work. While congress is incession, said the uneasy spirit,

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<v Speaker 1>for in the recess there is no work and no device.

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<v Speaker 1>The Colonel enjoyed this bustle and confusion amazingly. He thrived

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<v Speaker 1>in the air of indefinite expectation. All his own schemes

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<v Speaker 1>took larger shape and more misty and majestic proportions. And

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<v Speaker 1>in this congenial air, the Colonel seemed even to himself

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<v Speaker 1>to expand into something large and mysterious. If he respected

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<v Speaker 1>himself before, he almost worshiped Pariah Cellars now as a

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<v Speaker 1>superior being. If he could have chosen an official position

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<v Speaker 1>out of the highest he would have been embarrassed in

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<v Speaker 1>the selection. The presidency of the Republic seemed too limited

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<v Speaker 1>and cramped in the constitutional restrictions. If he could have

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<v Speaker 1>been Grand Lama of the United States, that might have

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<v Speaker 1>come to the nearest to his idea of a position,

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<v Speaker 1>and next to that, he would have luxuriated in the

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<v Speaker 1>irresponsible omniscience of the special correspondent. Colonel Sellers knew the

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<v Speaker 1>President very well and had access to his presence. When

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<v Speaker 1>officials were kept cooling their heels in the waiting room,

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<v Speaker 1>the President liked to hear the colonel talk. His voluble

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<v Speaker 1>ease was a refreshment after the decorous dullness of men

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<v Speaker 1>who only talked business and government and everlastingly expounded their

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<v Speaker 1>notions of justice and the distribution of patronage. The Colonel

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<v Speaker 1>was as much a lover of farming and of horses

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<v Speaker 1>as Thomas Jefferson was. He talked to the President by

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<v Speaker 1>the hour about his magnificent stud and his plantation at Hawkeye.

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<v Speaker 1>A kind of principality, he represented it. He urged the

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<v Speaker 1>President to pay him a visit during the recess and

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<v Speaker 1>see his stock farm. The President's table is well enough,

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<v Speaker 1>he used to say to the loafers who gathered about

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<v Speaker 1>him at Willard's, well enough for a man on a salary.

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<v Speaker 1>But God bless my soul, I should like him to

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<v Speaker 1>see a little old fashioned hospitality open house. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>a person seeing me at home might think I paid

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<v Speaker 1>no attention to what was in the house, just let

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<v Speaker 1>things flow in and out. He'd be mistaken. What I

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<v Speaker 1>look to is quality, sir. The President has variety enough,

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<v Speaker 1>but the quality vegetables, of course, you can't expect here.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very particular about mine. Takes celery. Now there's only

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<v Speaker 1>one spot in this country where celery will grow. But

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<v Speaker 1>I am surprised about the wines. I should think they

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<v Speaker 1>were manufactured in the New York custom. I must send

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<v Speaker 1>the President some from my cellar. I was really mortified

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<v Speaker 1>the other day at dinner to see Blake Bay leave

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<v Speaker 1>his standing in the glasses. When the colonel first came

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<v Speaker 1>to Washington, he had thoughts of taking the mission to

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<v Speaker 1>Constantinople in order to be on the spot to look

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<v Speaker 1>after the dissemination of his eye water. But as that

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<v Speaker 1>invention was not yet quite ready, the project shrank a

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<v Speaker 1>little in the presence of vaster schemes. Besides, he felt

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<v Speaker 1>that he could do the country more good by remaining

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<v Speaker 1>at home. He was one of the Southerners who were

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<v Speaker 1>constantly quoted as heartily accepting the situation. I'm whipped, he

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<v Speaker 1>used to say, with a jolly laugh. The government was

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<v Speaker 1>too many for me. I'm cleaned out, done for except

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<v Speaker 1>my plantation and private mansion. We played for a big

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<v Speaker 1>thing and lost it. And I don't whine for one

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<v Speaker 1>I go for putting the old flag on all the

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<v Speaker 1>vacant lots. I said to the resident, says, I grant,

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<v Speaker 1>why don't you take Santo Domingo, annexed the whole thing,

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<v Speaker 1>and settle the bill afterwards. That's my way. I'd take

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<v Speaker 1>the job to manage Congress. The South would come into it.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got to conciliate the South, consolidate the two debts,

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<v Speaker 1>pay him off in Greenback's and go ahead. That's my notion.

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<v Speaker 1>Boutwell's got the right notion about the value of paper,

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<v Speaker 1>but he lacks courage. I should like to run the

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<v Speaker 1>Treasury department about six months. I'd make things plenty and

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<v Speaker 1>business look up. The colonel had access to the departments,

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<v Speaker 1>He knew all the senators and representatives, and especially the lobby.

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<v Speaker 1>He was consequently a great favorite in newspaper row, and

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<v Speaker 1>was often lounging in the offices there dropping bits of

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<v Speaker 1>private official information which were immediately caught up and telegraphed

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<v Speaker 1>all over the country. But it used to surprise even

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<v Speaker 1>the colonel when he read it. It was embellished to

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<v Speaker 1>that degree that he hardly recognized it, and the hint

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<v Speaker 1>was not lost on him. He began to exaggerate his

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<v Speaker 1>heretofore simple conversations to suit the newspaper demand. People used

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<v Speaker 1>to wonder in the winters of eighteen seventy blank, an

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<v Speaker 1>eighteen seventy blank where the specials got that remarkable information

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<v Speaker 1>with which they every morning surprised the country, revealing the

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<v Speaker 1>most secret intentions of the President and his cabinet, the

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<v Speaker 1>private thoughts of political leaders, the hidden meaning of every movement.

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<v Speaker 1>This information was furnished by Colonel Sellers. When he was

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<v Speaker 1>asked afterwards about the stolen copy of the Alabama Treaty

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<v Speaker 1>which got into the New York Tribune, he only looked

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<v Speaker 1>mysterious and said that neither he nor Senator Dilworthy knew

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<v Speaker 1>anything about it, but those whom he was in the

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<v Speaker 1>habit of meeting occasionally felt almost certain that he did know.

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<v Speaker 1>It must not be supposed that the Colonel, in his

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<v Speaker 1>general pain patriotic labors, neglected his own affairs. The Columbus

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<v Speaker 1>River navigation scheme absorbed only a part of his time,

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<v Speaker 1>so he was enabled to throw quite a strong reserve

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<v Speaker 1>force of energy into the Tennessee Land Plan, a vast

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<v Speaker 1>enterprise commensurate with his abilities, and in the prosecution of

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<v Speaker 1>which he was greatly aided by mister Henry Brierly, who

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<v Speaker 1>was buzzing about the capital and the hotels day and night,

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<v Speaker 1>and making capital for it in some mysterious way. We

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<v Speaker 1>must create a public opinion, said Senator Dilworthy. My only

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<v Speaker 1>interest in it is a public one, and if the

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<v Speaker 1>country wants the institution, Congress will have to yield. It

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<v Speaker 1>may have been after a conversation between the Colonel and

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<v Speaker 1>Senator Dilworthy that the following special despatch was sent to

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<v Speaker 1>a New York newspaper. We understand that a philanthropic plan

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<v Speaker 1>is on foot in relation to the colored race that will,

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<v Speaker 1>if successful, revolutionize the whole character of Southern industry. An

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<v Speaker 1>experimental institution is in contemplation in Tennessee which will do

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<v Speaker 1>for that state what the Industrial School at Zurich did

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<v Speaker 1>for Switzerland. We learn that approaches have been made to

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<v Speaker 1>the heirs of the late Honorable Silas Hawkins of Missouri

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<v Speaker 1>in reference to a lease of a portion of their

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<v Speaker 1>valuable property in East Tennessee. Senator Dilworthy, it is understood,

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<v Speaker 1>is inflexibly opposed to any arrangement that will not give

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<v Speaker 1>the government absolute control. Private interests must give way to

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<v Speaker 1>the public good. It is to be hoped that Colonel Sellers,

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<v Speaker 1>who represents the heirs, will be led to see the

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<v Speaker 1>matter in this light. When Washington Hawkins read this despatch,

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<v Speaker 1>he went to the Colonel in some anxiety. He was

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<v Speaker 1>for a lease. He didn't want to surrender anything. What

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<v Speaker 1>did he think the government would offer? Two millions? Maybe three,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe four, said the colonel. It's worth more than the

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<v Speaker 1>Bank of England. If they will not lease, said Washington,

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<v Speaker 1>let him make it two millions for an undivided half.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to throw it away, not the whole

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<v Speaker 1>of it. Harry told the colonel that they must drive

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<v Speaker 1>the thing through. He couldn't be dallying round Washington. When

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<v Speaker 1>spring opened. Phil wanted him. Phil had a great thing

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<v Speaker 1>on hand up in Pennsylvania. What is that? Inquired the Colonel,

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<v Speaker 1>Always ready to interest himself in anything large. A mountain

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<v Speaker 1>of coal, that's all. He's going to run a tunnel

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<v Speaker 1>into it in the spring. Does he want any capital,

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<v Speaker 1>asked the Colonel, in the tone of a man who

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<v Speaker 1>is given to calculating carefully before he makes an investment. No,

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<v Speaker 1>old man Bolton's behind him. He has capital. But I

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<v Speaker 1>judge that he wanted my experience in starting. Well, if

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<v Speaker 1>he wants me, tell him, I'll come after Congress adjourns.

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<v Speaker 1>I should like to give him a little lift. He

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<v Speaker 1>lacks enterprise now about that Columbus River. He doesn't see

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<v Speaker 1>his chances. But he's a good fellow, and you can

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<v Speaker 1>tell him that sellers won't go back on him. By

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<v Speaker 1>the way, asked Harry, who is that rather handsome party

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<v Speaker 1>that's hanging round Laura. I see him with her everywhere

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<v Speaker 1>at the Capitol, in the horse cars, and he comes

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<v Speaker 1>to Dilworthy's. If he weren't lame, I should think he

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<v Speaker 1>was going to run off with her. Oh, that's nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>Laura knows her business. He has a cotton claim. Used

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<v Speaker 1>to be at Hawkeye during the war. Selby's name was

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<v Speaker 1>a colonel, got a wife and family, very respectable people

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<v Speaker 1>the Selby's. Well, that's all right, said Harry, if it's

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<v Speaker 1>his business. But if a woman looked at me as

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<v Speaker 1>I've seen her at Selby, I should understand it, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's talked about. I can tell you. Jealousy had no

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<v Speaker 1>doubt sharpened this young gentleman's observation. Laura could not have

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<v Speaker 1>treated him with more lofty condescension if she had been

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<v Speaker 1>the Queen of Sheba on a royal visit to the

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<v Speaker 1>Great Republic, and he resented it, and was huffy when

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<v Speaker 1>he was with her, and ran her errands, and brought

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<v Speaker 1>her gossip, and bragged of his intimacy with the lovely

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<v Speaker 1>creature among the fellows at Newspaper Row. Laura's life was

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<v Speaker 1>rushing on now, in the full stream of intrigue and

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<v Speaker 1>fashionable dissipation. She was conspicuous at the balls of the

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<v Speaker 1>fastest set, and was suspected of being present at those

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<v Speaker 1>doubtful suppers that began late and ended early. If Senator

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<v Speaker 1>Dilworthy remonstrated about appearances, she had a way of silencing him.

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<v Speaker 1>Perhaps she had some hold on him. Perhaps she was

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<v Speaker 1>necessary to his plan for ameliorating the condition of the

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<v Speaker 1>colored race. She saw Colonel Selby when the public knew,

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<v Speaker 1>and when it did not know. She would see him,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever excuses he made, and however he avoided her. She

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<v Speaker 1>was urged on by a fever of love and hatred

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<v Speaker 1>and jealousy which alternately possessed her. Sometimes she petted him

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<v Speaker 1>and coaxed him, and tried all her fascinations, And again

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<v Speaker 1>she threatened him and reproached him. What was he doing?

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<v Speaker 1>Why had he taken no steps to free himself. Why

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<v Speaker 1>didn't he send his wife home? She should have money soon,

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<v Speaker 1>they could go to Europe anywhere. What did she care for? Talk?

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<v Speaker 1>And he promised and lied and invented fresh excuses for delay,

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<v Speaker 1>like a cowardly gambler and rue as he was fearing

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<v Speaker 1>to break with her, and half the time unwilling to

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<v Speaker 1>give her up. That woman doesn't know what fear is,

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<v Speaker 1>he said to himself, And she watches me like a hawk.

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<v Speaker 1>He told his wife that this woman was a lobbyist

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<v Speaker 1>whom he had to tolerate and use in getting through

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<v Speaker 1>his claims, and that he should pay her and have

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<v Speaker 1>done with her when he succeeded. End of chapter forty