Speaker 1: This is section forty of The Gilded Age. This LibriVox
Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, A
Speaker 1: Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter forty. Open your ears, for which of you will
Speaker 1: stop the vent of hearing? When loud rumor speaks, I
Speaker 1: from the orient to the drooping west, making the wind
Speaker 1: my post horse still unfold. The axe commenced on this
Speaker 1: ball of earth. Upon my tongues. Continual slanders ride the
Speaker 1: which in every language I pronounce stuffing the ears of
Speaker 1: men with false reports. King Henry the Fourth, as may
Speaker 1: be readily believed, Colonel Beriah Sellars was by this time
Speaker 1: one of the best known men in Washington. For the
Speaker 1: first time in his life, his talents had a fair field.
Speaker 1: He was now at the center of the manufacture of
Speaker 1: gigantic schemes, of speculations of all sorts, of political and
Speaker 1: social gossip. The atmosphere was full of little and big rumors,
Speaker 1: and of vast undefined expectations. Everybody was in haste, too,
Speaker 1: to push on his private plan, and feverish in his haste,
Speaker 1: as if in constant apprehension that tomorrow would be judgment
Speaker 1: day work. While congress is incession, said the uneasy spirit,
Speaker 1: for in the recess there is no work and no device.
Speaker 1: The Colonel enjoyed this bustle and confusion amazingly. He thrived
Speaker 1: in the air of indefinite expectation. All his own schemes
Speaker 1: took larger shape and more misty and majestic proportions. And
Speaker 1: in this congenial air, the Colonel seemed even to himself
Speaker 1: to expand into something large and mysterious. If he respected
Speaker 1: himself before, he almost worshiped Pariah Cellars now as a
Speaker 1: superior being. If he could have chosen an official position
Speaker 1: out of the highest he would have been embarrassed in
Speaker 1: the selection. The presidency of the Republic seemed too limited
Speaker 1: and cramped in the constitutional restrictions. If he could have
Speaker 1: been Grand Lama of the United States, that might have
Speaker 1: come to the nearest to his idea of a position,
Speaker 1: and next to that, he would have luxuriated in the
Speaker 1: irresponsible omniscience of the special correspondent. Colonel Sellers knew the
Speaker 1: President very well and had access to his presence. When
Speaker 1: officials were kept cooling their heels in the waiting room,
Speaker 1: the President liked to hear the colonel talk. His voluble
Speaker 1: ease was a refreshment after the decorous dullness of men
Speaker 1: who only talked business and government and everlastingly expounded their
Speaker 1: notions of justice and the distribution of patronage. The Colonel
Speaker 1: was as much a lover of farming and of horses
Speaker 1: as Thomas Jefferson was. He talked to the President by
Speaker 1: the hour about his magnificent stud and his plantation at Hawkeye.
Speaker 1: A kind of principality, he represented it. He urged the
Speaker 1: President to pay him a visit during the recess and
Speaker 1: see his stock farm. The President's table is well enough,
Speaker 1: he used to say to the loafers who gathered about
Speaker 1: him at Willard's, well enough for a man on a salary.
Speaker 1: But God bless my soul, I should like him to
Speaker 1: see a little old fashioned hospitality open house. You know,
Speaker 1: a person seeing me at home might think I paid
Speaker 1: no attention to what was in the house, just let
Speaker 1: things flow in and out. He'd be mistaken. What I
Speaker 1: look to is quality, sir. The President has variety enough,
Speaker 1: but the quality vegetables, of course, you can't expect here.
Speaker 1: I'm very particular about mine. Takes celery. Now there's only
Speaker 1: one spot in this country where celery will grow. But
Speaker 1: I am surprised about the wines. I should think they
Speaker 1: were manufactured in the New York custom. I must send
Speaker 1: the President some from my cellar. I was really mortified
Speaker 1: the other day at dinner to see Blake Bay leave
Speaker 1: his standing in the glasses. When the colonel first came
Speaker 1: to Washington, he had thoughts of taking the mission to
Speaker 1: Constantinople in order to be on the spot to look
Speaker 1: after the dissemination of his eye water. But as that
Speaker 1: invention was not yet quite ready, the project shrank a
Speaker 1: little in the presence of vaster schemes. Besides, he felt
Speaker 1: that he could do the country more good by remaining
Speaker 1: at home. He was one of the Southerners who were
Speaker 1: constantly quoted as heartily accepting the situation. I'm whipped, he
Speaker 1: used to say, with a jolly laugh. The government was
Speaker 1: too many for me. I'm cleaned out, done for except
Speaker 1: my plantation and private mansion. We played for a big
Speaker 1: thing and lost it. And I don't whine for one
Speaker 1: I go for putting the old flag on all the
Speaker 1: vacant lots. I said to the resident, says, I grant,
Speaker 1: why don't you take Santo Domingo, annexed the whole thing,
Speaker 1: and settle the bill afterwards. That's my way. I'd take
Speaker 1: the job to manage Congress. The South would come into it.
Speaker 1: You've got to conciliate the South, consolidate the two debts,
Speaker 1: pay him off in Greenback's and go ahead. That's my notion.
Speaker 1: Boutwell's got the right notion about the value of paper,
Speaker 1: but he lacks courage. I should like to run the
Speaker 1: Treasury department about six months. I'd make things plenty and
Speaker 1: business look up. The colonel had access to the departments,
Speaker 1: He knew all the senators and representatives, and especially the lobby.
Speaker 1: He was consequently a great favorite in newspaper row, and
Speaker 1: was often lounging in the offices there dropping bits of
Speaker 1: private official information which were immediately caught up and telegraphed
Speaker 1: all over the country. But it used to surprise even
Speaker 1: the colonel when he read it. It was embellished to
Speaker 1: that degree that he hardly recognized it, and the hint
Speaker 1: was not lost on him. He began to exaggerate his
Speaker 1: heretofore simple conversations to suit the newspaper demand. People used
Speaker 1: to wonder in the winters of eighteen seventy blank, an
Speaker 1: eighteen seventy blank where the specials got that remarkable information
Speaker 1: with which they every morning surprised the country, revealing the
Speaker 1: most secret intentions of the President and his cabinet, the
Speaker 1: private thoughts of political leaders, the hidden meaning of every movement.
Speaker 1: This information was furnished by Colonel Sellers. When he was
Speaker 1: asked afterwards about the stolen copy of the Alabama Treaty
Speaker 1: which got into the New York Tribune, he only looked
Speaker 1: mysterious and said that neither he nor Senator Dilworthy knew
Speaker 1: anything about it, but those whom he was in the
Speaker 1: habit of meeting occasionally felt almost certain that he did know.
Speaker 1: It must not be supposed that the Colonel, in his
Speaker 1: general pain patriotic labors, neglected his own affairs. The Columbus
Speaker 1: River navigation scheme absorbed only a part of his time,
Speaker 1: so he was enabled to throw quite a strong reserve
Speaker 1: force of energy into the Tennessee Land Plan, a vast
Speaker 1: enterprise commensurate with his abilities, and in the prosecution of
Speaker 1: which he was greatly aided by mister Henry Brierly, who
Speaker 1: was buzzing about the capital and the hotels day and night,
Speaker 1: and making capital for it in some mysterious way. We
Speaker 1: must create a public opinion, said Senator Dilworthy. My only
Speaker 1: interest in it is a public one, and if the
Speaker 1: country wants the institution, Congress will have to yield. It
Speaker 1: may have been after a conversation between the Colonel and
Speaker 1: Senator Dilworthy that the following special despatch was sent to
Speaker 1: a New York newspaper. We understand that a philanthropic plan
Speaker 1: is on foot in relation to the colored race that will,
Speaker 1: if successful, revolutionize the whole character of Southern industry. An
Speaker 1: experimental institution is in contemplation in Tennessee which will do
Speaker 1: for that state what the Industrial School at Zurich did
Speaker 1: for Switzerland. We learn that approaches have been made to
Speaker 1: the heirs of the late Honorable Silas Hawkins of Missouri
Speaker 1: in reference to a lease of a portion of their
Speaker 1: valuable property in East Tennessee. Senator Dilworthy, it is understood,
Speaker 1: is inflexibly opposed to any arrangement that will not give
Speaker 1: the government absolute control. Private interests must give way to
Speaker 1: the public good. It is to be hoped that Colonel Sellers,
Speaker 1: who represents the heirs, will be led to see the
Speaker 1: matter in this light. When Washington Hawkins read this despatch,
Speaker 1: he went to the Colonel in some anxiety. He was
Speaker 1: for a lease. He didn't want to surrender anything. What
Speaker 1: did he think the government would offer? Two millions? Maybe three,
Speaker 1: maybe four, said the colonel. It's worth more than the
Speaker 1: Bank of England. If they will not lease, said Washington,
Speaker 1: let him make it two millions for an undivided half.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to throw it away, not the whole
Speaker 1: of it. Harry told the colonel that they must drive
Speaker 1: the thing through. He couldn't be dallying round Washington. When
Speaker 1: spring opened. Phil wanted him. Phil had a great thing
Speaker 1: on hand up in Pennsylvania. What is that? Inquired the Colonel,
Speaker 1: Always ready to interest himself in anything large. A mountain
Speaker 1: of coal, that's all. He's going to run a tunnel
Speaker 1: into it in the spring. Does he want any capital,
Speaker 1: asked the Colonel, in the tone of a man who
Speaker 1: is given to calculating carefully before he makes an investment. No,
Speaker 1: old man Bolton's behind him. He has capital. But I
Speaker 1: judge that he wanted my experience in starting. Well, if
Speaker 1: he wants me, tell him, I'll come after Congress adjourns.
Speaker 1: I should like to give him a little lift. He
Speaker 1: lacks enterprise now about that Columbus River. He doesn't see
Speaker 1: his chances. But he's a good fellow, and you can
Speaker 1: tell him that sellers won't go back on him. By
Speaker 1: the way, asked Harry, who is that rather handsome party
Speaker 1: that's hanging round Laura. I see him with her everywhere
Speaker 1: at the Capitol, in the horse cars, and he comes
Speaker 1: to Dilworthy's. If he weren't lame, I should think he
Speaker 1: was going to run off with her. Oh, that's nothing.
Speaker 1: Laura knows her business. He has a cotton claim. Used
Speaker 1: to be at Hawkeye during the war. Selby's name was
Speaker 1: a colonel, got a wife and family, very respectable people
Speaker 1: the Selby's. Well, that's all right, said Harry, if it's
Speaker 1: his business. But if a woman looked at me as
Speaker 1: I've seen her at Selby, I should understand it, and
Speaker 1: it's talked about. I can tell you. Jealousy had no
Speaker 1: doubt sharpened this young gentleman's observation. Laura could not have
Speaker 1: treated him with more lofty condescension if she had been
Speaker 1: the Queen of Sheba on a royal visit to the
Speaker 1: Great Republic, and he resented it, and was huffy when
Speaker 1: he was with her, and ran her errands, and brought
Speaker 1: her gossip, and bragged of his intimacy with the lovely
Speaker 1: creature among the fellows at Newspaper Row. Laura's life was
Speaker 1: rushing on now, in the full stream of intrigue and
Speaker 1: fashionable dissipation. She was conspicuous at the balls of the
Speaker 1: fastest set, and was suspected of being present at those
Speaker 1: doubtful suppers that began late and ended early. If Senator
Speaker 1: Dilworthy remonstrated about appearances, she had a way of silencing him.
Speaker 1: Perhaps she had some hold on him. Perhaps she was
Speaker 1: necessary to his plan for ameliorating the condition of the
Speaker 1: colored race. She saw Colonel Selby when the public knew,
Speaker 1: and when it did not know. She would see him,
Speaker 1: whatever excuses he made, and however he avoided her. She
Speaker 1: was urged on by a fever of love and hatred
Speaker 1: and jealousy which alternately possessed her. Sometimes she petted him
Speaker 1: and coaxed him, and tried all her fascinations, And again
Speaker 1: she threatened him and reproached him. What was he doing?
Speaker 1: Why had he taken no steps to free himself. Why
Speaker 1: didn't he send his wife home? She should have money soon,
Speaker 1: they could go to Europe anywhere. What did she care for? Talk?
Speaker 1: And he promised and lied and invented fresh excuses for delay,
Speaker 1: like a cowardly gambler and rue as he was fearing
Speaker 1: to break with her, and half the time unwilling to
Speaker 1: give her up. That woman doesn't know what fear is,
Speaker 1: he said to himself, And she watches me like a hawk.
Speaker 1: He told his wife that this woman was a lobbyist
Speaker 1: whom he had to tolerate and use in getting through
Speaker 1: his claims, and that he should pay her and have
Speaker 1: done with her when he succeeded. End of chapter forty