WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:07.480 My friend Stewart. He got weirdly obsessed once with catching catfish, 2 00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:11.400 or attempting to catch catfish with his teeth, not with 3 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:13.919 his teeth, with a fishing rod, and. 4 00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:16.039 Within beat them to death for the fishing rod. 5 00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:19.640 Within probably a week of him boring us with catfish, 6 00:00:19.800 --> 00:00:29.280 his nickname quickly got changed to catman's stew Ah. I 7 00:00:29.399 --> 00:00:33.399 just got told by somebody that they said, oh, lovely 8 00:00:33.439 --> 00:00:35.960 cover on st this week, and I haven't seen what 9 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:36.799 one they picked. 10 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:42.840 Sold on it just so happens, Callum, I have here, 11 00:00:43.880 --> 00:00:44.359 what's this? 12 00:00:44.600 --> 00:00:47.119 I'm really keen to know what picture they picked? 13 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:51.119 Oh, there's a Collins catalog. I'll read that cover to cover. 14 00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:55.759 Look at that, go to show me. I want to 15 00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:56.880 see a little spaniel. 16 00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:00.920 Do you know what I edited of grass out in 17 00:01:00.920 --> 00:01:02.719 the front of the dog's eye in that one? So 18 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:03.240 did you? 19 00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:04.480 Yeah? 20 00:01:04.599 --> 00:01:08.840 I never with a little tea? Well I never, So 21 00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:10.760 let me just make sure. And it's going to go 22 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:14.680 to the thing because this week's cover cover image was 23 00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:21.879 supplied by Callum mciner. Honesty. Finally, that's very good news. Well, anyway, 24 00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:25.640 I'll read that Collins catalog with great interest, and. 25 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:29.560 On three covers, three covers so far this year, I 26 00:01:29.560 --> 00:01:30.560 think six. 27 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:34.560 You honestly, you're You're admirable, really. 28 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:36.640 Be Presumably they don't know you do this podcast yet. 29 00:01:36.680 --> 00:01:38.560 Otherwise that's you know, that's just going to dry up 30 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:39.920 straight away, isn't it. Yeah? 31 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:44.280 Possibly, I'm very professional in these in all of these things. 32 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:48.120 Well, hanging hanging around, hanging around with us is probably 33 00:01:48.359 --> 00:01:49.359 a downside. 34 00:01:49.719 --> 00:01:53.400 Actually Amy edits out all the stuff where I'm unprofessional, 35 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:55.319 So I mean. 36 00:01:55.480 --> 00:01:58.799 Does I never noticed that with. 37 00:01:58.799 --> 00:02:01.640 A lot on the cutting room floor. Okay, there's at 38 00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:03.680 least there's at least four hours from every week that 39 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:04.519 we just get rid of. 40 00:02:04.840 --> 00:02:09.319 Yes, you see that delightful lady who did all that 41 00:02:09.719 --> 00:02:13.120 kitchen disco. What's her name? Mum double barrowed name girl? 42 00:02:14.120 --> 00:02:18.759 Kitchen disco, kitchen disco? That really pretty girl? What's her name? 43 00:02:19.879 --> 00:02:24.080 The one Sophie ll Aspecster. Yes, you see she said 44 00:02:24.120 --> 00:02:27.840 there was murder on the dance floor on Amy's cutting room. 45 00:02:27.879 --> 00:02:29.159 There's callum all over. 46 00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:31.199 I photographed her three times. 47 00:02:31.199 --> 00:02:34.039 You know what, I'd have done it more than three times. 48 00:02:34.039 --> 00:02:36.719 I'll tell you that for nothing, I'd have photographed her. 49 00:02:37.840 --> 00:02:39.680 She's outside her house. Did she know about it? 50 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:40.240 Yeah? 51 00:02:40.280 --> 00:02:42.120 Well that's why I wear Can. 52 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:46.960 I imagine that a kitchen disco, there's a man dressed 53 00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:52.199 as Bungle outside the kitchen window scaring the kids? Was lockdown? 54 00:02:52.199 --> 00:02:53.479 Went here again? 55 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:54.520 He's here again. 56 00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:57.840 So what are we talking about this week? 57 00:02:57.919 --> 00:03:03.120 Richard? We are going to talk about the burgeoning spring, 58 00:03:03.319 --> 00:03:07.759 the springing spring, and some other stuff as well. Okay, 59 00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.520 how about that? Is that a good description? I like that. 60 00:03:11.639 --> 00:03:17.120 I like these clear and concise instructions spring and other stuff. 61 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:19.240 Well everything, you know, other stuff. Just it could it 62 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:21.960 just ties it all nicely into anything in the world 63 00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:24.479 or the universe as we know it. I agree. 64 00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:28.159 I think that, you know, our listenership burgeoning as it is. 65 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:32.159 I think they don't want us to go and dictate them. 66 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:38.120 Most people's lives are heavily dictated either by this dictatorship 67 00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:44.400 which we currently live under and the rest of society largely. 68 00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:49.240 There is a lot of dictatorship and bullying and generally 69 00:03:49.280 --> 00:03:51.439 telling you what to do. I like to think that 70 00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:57.479 country Slide is a libertarian space that people can escape 71 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:02.520 into for an hour or for how long we go 72 00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:06.159 on for, you know, and feel as one with us 73 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:08.400 in our slightly pickled state. 74 00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:12.319 Well as I said the other week to the editor 75 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:16.120 of an online writing place that our aim is to 76 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:19.360 one day make somebody actually crash a tractor whilst listening 77 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:22.040 to us. Yeah, I think we've come close a few times. 78 00:04:22.040 --> 00:04:24.000 To be honest, I think we have. So it's quite funny. 79 00:04:24.040 --> 00:04:26.240 I get all these all these funny little messages from 80 00:04:26.279 --> 00:04:29.079 mates of mine, and actually people are really surprised. 81 00:04:29.079 --> 00:04:33.600 Today I went, we had a load of superb scientists 82 00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:37.160 come to the farm cluster to go and talk about 83 00:04:37.279 --> 00:04:39.720 a project which we're working on. Means these a proper 84 00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:44.199 grown up scientist and they're all saying, I love that podcast. 85 00:04:44.680 --> 00:04:48.560 I'm thinking, really, you're proper grown ups. I mean, you know, 86 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:51.279 you actually have like professor in front of your name, 87 00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:54.199 and you're listening to this drivel. My lord, this is 88 00:04:54.279 --> 00:04:55.759 this is a bit of a worry, isn't it. We 89 00:04:55.920 --> 00:04:57.959 must sort of grow up. We have to stop Callum 90 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:01.560 from doing the bunk all outfiting every. 91 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.120 Week saying all those things he says. 92 00:05:02.879 --> 00:05:06.560 Every week, You'll never stop me, you'll. 93 00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:07.800 Never catch me govnor. 94 00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:10.319 Now never take me alive. 95 00:05:10.879 --> 00:05:14.120 So we normally do this little what have we done 96 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:17.959 this week? Thing? But like you said, Richard or you 97 00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:19.800 you sort of what you've done this week is staring 98 00:05:19.839 --> 00:05:22.160 at a hedge, hitting it with a blade, or digging 99 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:24.920 and putting a tree in. Callum takes photos of spaniels 100 00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:26.720 and I do stuff I'm not really meant to be 101 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:31.600 talking about at the moment. Sometimes sometimes labradors. Yes, But 102 00:05:32.279 --> 00:05:35.560 so we want to try and twist that a little bit. 103 00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:39.680 So you've written a thing for Scriye Pound, which I 104 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:42.319 haven't read yet, but all the people that I've told 105 00:05:42.360 --> 00:05:45.720 to go and subscribe to Scribe Pound have said to me, 106 00:05:46.439 --> 00:05:47.759 this article is bloody brilliant. 107 00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:55.199 Well if used to read it now, it's right George Brown, 108 00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:58.319 who now we all know because we've all appeared on 109 00:05:58.360 --> 00:06:02.839 the Guns on Pegs podcast and so and he is 110 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:06.839 was he called the creative director for Scribe a Grand 111 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:09.519 Wizards of the Grand, and he is a top man. 112 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:11.279 I do like him. And he said to me, he goes, 113 00:06:11.319 --> 00:06:12.879 do you know what he goes? This is supposed to 114 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:16.120 be a bit that you can say what you want 115 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:21.800 to say. And someone had put on a group somewhere 116 00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:24.959 saying have you seen this? And it was the Farmer's Weeklies, 117 00:06:26.199 --> 00:06:30.360 TikTok and Instagram feed from The Lammer Show a couple 118 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:33.240 of weeks ago, and the Lammer Show is the Lincoln 119 00:06:33.279 --> 00:06:39.680 shere Agricultural Machinery Show basically, and it's full of massive 120 00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:44.240 kit because obviously Lincoln shere Is needs massive kit, and 121 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:46.759 it's all heavy arable and vege growing and dah da 122 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:53.920 da dah. So it attracts young farmers, mainly male, who 123 00:06:54.040 --> 00:07:00.279 are drooling over these disgustingly big and shiny power for 124 00:07:00.519 --> 00:07:05.040 beer moths of tractors and combines and harvesters and all 125 00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:09.600 sorts of things. And quite cleverly, the Farmer's Weekly spotted 126 00:07:09.879 --> 00:07:12.680 that there was a bit of a recurring theme, and 127 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:17.199 that was the mullet. And they got all these guys 128 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:19.759 who were all there sort of drooling over these tractors 129 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:22.920 and stuff, and all dressed in the identical kit, and 130 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:25.720 got them to fluff up their mullet and toss their 131 00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:28.600 hair around like they're in one of those nineteen eighties 132 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:33.000 Timo te adverts and stuff. And it was quite funny. 133 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:35.319 And then I thought about, you know, my son, Charlie, 134 00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:38.040 he's got what's called a modern mullllet. 135 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:43.720 What's the difference between a modern mullet and an old 136 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:45.199 school retro mullet. 137 00:07:45.439 --> 00:07:47.519 Well, isn't that a great question? See the other good 138 00:07:47.519 --> 00:07:49.439 thing about scripand is you don't just have to write 139 00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:51.879 it you then they give you the opportunity to go 140 00:07:51.959 --> 00:07:55.720 and read what you've written. And so I tagged on 141 00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:59.279 to the end an interview I did with Charlie who's 142 00:07:59.279 --> 00:08:02.519 got a moder mullet. Now, a modern mullllet is you 143 00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:04.560 know how that the old school one sort of hang 144 00:08:04.680 --> 00:08:07.879 like I think Billy Ray Cyrus Circle, nineteen eighty eight, 145 00:08:07.959 --> 00:08:10.600 so he's sort of hanging down somewhere down between his 146 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:15.079 shoulder blades. A modern mullet has got it's almost like 147 00:08:15.319 --> 00:08:19.399 a sort of rather tame Mehican. So it's very tightly 148 00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:22.680 done over the over the ears, and then you've got 149 00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:25.040 quite a lot of hair down the back and nearly 150 00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:27.399 as much on top, so they look slightly like an 151 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:29.759 alpacker on top. 152 00:08:29.959 --> 00:08:31.879 Oh, it's like the broccoli hair kids. 153 00:08:32.440 --> 00:08:35.039 Yeah, like a broccoli hair kid. But this you've also 154 00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:37.320 got this big fluffy bit out of your back. 155 00:08:38.200 --> 00:08:40.600 Yeah, so it's not it's not business in the front, 156 00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:41.720 party in the back like it. 157 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:42.039 Used to know. 158 00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:46.519 It's business everywhere. Yeah, it's except at the sides. No, 159 00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:52.240 side business. So I decided to write a piece about 160 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:56.399 the mullet because I had one. I dug out a 161 00:08:56.399 --> 00:08:59.879 few photographs of me back in the eighties when I 162 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:04.600 was Charlie's age, and I've got quite long hair at 163 00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:06.919 the back. I haven't got the sort of very short front, 164 00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:09.440 so it's not the full billy race iris thing. I've 165 00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:11.519 got more or less the same front hair that I 166 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:15.320 have now, except obviously now it's a lot grayer. Anyway, 167 00:09:15.360 --> 00:09:17.399 it's all sort of hanging down the back, and I thought, 168 00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:19.559 do you know what I reckon? There is something here? 169 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:22.200 Because I went to London a couple of days before 170 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:24.840 I wrote this thing, and I walked all the way 171 00:09:25.320 --> 00:09:29.159 from South Kent from Clarkenwell to South Kensington, then from 172 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:31.960 South Kensington back to Liverpool Street. It's a long old way, 173 00:09:31.960 --> 00:09:33.919 but I'm not going on a tube. They all smell 174 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.960 funny and they cost too much money. I don't want 175 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:39.320 to put any money into Sadiq Khn's pocket and I'm 176 00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:41.519 going to walk his beautiful sort of day. So I 177 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:45.159 walked about and not one mullet did I see. I mean, 178 00:09:45.159 --> 00:09:47.759 I saw some fantastic sights in London, as you always do, 179 00:09:47.879 --> 00:09:51.960 because there's so much life is all there. I didn't 180 00:09:51.960 --> 00:09:54.759 see a mullet, so this is an extremely rural thing. 181 00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:57.879 So I came to the conclusion that the mullet is 182 00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:03.759 basically a rural cry for help. It's a rural cry 183 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:07.960 for no, we're still blokey. We're we don't want to 184 00:10:08.039 --> 00:10:12.879 drive electric anything. We actually would rather smoke cigarettes. They're all, 185 00:10:13.080 --> 00:10:17.039 you know, quite I mean, unreconstructed male is what I would. 186 00:10:16.799 --> 00:10:20.679 Call them, the rural mallet counterculture. 187 00:10:21.080 --> 00:10:24.840 Yeah, basically exactly. It's a counterculture, and I likened them. 188 00:10:24.840 --> 00:10:27.759 Then I went over into flights of fancy, saying that 189 00:10:27.759 --> 00:10:30.679 they're exactly the same as the cavaliers under Prince Rupert 190 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:33.159 of the Rhine in the English Civil War, who had 191 00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:37.000 all this flamboyant dress and flamboyant haircut. But if you 192 00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:38.919 went and called them your big girl's blouse, you'd have 193 00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:41.759 got your head chopped off, and that they were doing 194 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:44.799 that as a sticking a middle digit up at this 195 00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:47.759 puritanism of them. And I believe there's a bit of 196 00:10:47.799 --> 00:10:51.039 a puritanism now, which if you actually see these young farmers, 197 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:55.919 that they are the heirs to Prince Ruper. So I 198 00:10:56.120 --> 00:10:58.600 thought it's quite an interesting thing. So you know, I'm 199 00:10:58.759 --> 00:11:03.039 fifty fire you for something like that now. And I 200 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:04.919 was looking back to try and find some stuff for 201 00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:09.919 this in my photo album, and I saw some horrendous sights. 202 00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:12.639 I mean, yeah, I mean, so what did you do? 203 00:11:12.799 --> 00:11:14.480 I mean, what were you wearing? That was crap? When 204 00:11:14.519 --> 00:11:16.000 you were fourteen fifteen? 205 00:11:16.600 --> 00:11:19.759 I saw your mullet and you look so much like 206 00:11:19.799 --> 00:11:24.480 your son as unbelievable. It's amazing when you get pictures 207 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:27.960 when you're like the same age as Charlie and you 208 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:33.080 look basically identical with your mullet. Yeah, yeah, it was interesting. 209 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:35.480 So what did you what stupid stuff did you? Were 210 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:39.919 you sporting callum when you were a youthful renegade. 211 00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:43.159 Being a photographer you also get quite good at photoshop, 212 00:11:43.360 --> 00:11:48.440 which means you also then get throwing graphic design projects. 213 00:11:49.320 --> 00:11:51.720 So I got given a graphic design project for a 214 00:11:51.799 --> 00:11:57.720 hairdressers and instead of paying me in I don't want 215 00:11:57.759 --> 00:12:00.720 to swear, but I'm going to any anyway, instead of 216 00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:04.279 paying me in cash money, they just said come into 217 00:12:04.279 --> 00:12:06.600 the hair into the salon and we'll just fack your 218 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:13.519 shit up. Basically, that's that is the Yeah, I was like, 219 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:18.960 girls might like it cool. So, so I had at 220 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:22.480 one point the whole left side of my hair. I 221 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:26.080 just shaved that all the way round to the back, 222 00:12:27.759 --> 00:12:32.159 and then when it grew back, I got it died 223 00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:36.960 to blonde, and then when that grew back, well, when 224 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:39.399 that grew out a bit, died back to blonde and 225 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:44.039 then fully pink from the front the fringe all the 226 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:48.679 way round to the back. So like, yeah, that so 227 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:58.320 that was good. Wow, how ago was that last week? Yeah, 228 00:12:58.519 --> 00:13:01.559 I've got pictures of me fishing, and then I went 229 00:13:01.639 --> 00:13:04.240 I went like a rainbow color. I took like lots 230 00:13:04.279 --> 00:13:10.080 and lots of colors. I looked like, yeah, I look 231 00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:12.440 like a lesbian. Is what I need to say here? 232 00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:16.000 I look like a lesbian. Look this really I was 233 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:17.360 basically was a lesbian. 234 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:21.320 You're trying really hard. I'm guessing it was. 235 00:13:21.559 --> 00:13:27.000 Yeah, that's probably what eighteen nineteen I was. I got 236 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.759 a little a little blue as a picture of me 237 00:13:29.879 --> 00:13:33.600 holding a carp and I got a little blue tough 238 00:13:33.799 --> 00:13:36.080 hanging out the back of my hat, and it's like, 239 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:40.240 what is that? I look like one of those vegans 240 00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:41.919 on Twitter with the blue hair. 241 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:46.919 So when I was about eighteen nineteen, I was still 242 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:49.639 playing rugby, and I was fairly normal, and I was 243 00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:54.399 pretty boring then and after that I sort of left 244 00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:56.720 the team, and then everyone else went off to university, 245 00:13:56.759 --> 00:13:58.639 and I decided that I didn't want to because I 246 00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:00.559 thought I'd end up with an alcohol problem and a 247 00:14:00.600 --> 00:14:04.559 massive debt and I didn't trust Tony Blair. And that's 248 00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:07.440 pretty much turned out to be true, although you know, 249 00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:10.399 massive debt, alcohol problem remains to be seen. I then 250 00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:13.519 started growing my hair, and by the time I was 251 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:16.240 about twenty four, I had hair down to my waist. 252 00:14:16.919 --> 00:14:19.360 My lord, no, really. 253 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:22.279 Really, I had a long ponytail all the way down 254 00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:26.039 to my waist. There are photos of me when I 255 00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:30.679 joined Mountain Rescue and then I, through various reasons, I 256 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:33.440 ended up becoming in some sort of position of authority 257 00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:35.919 on the team, and I was having to do like 258 00:14:36.679 --> 00:14:40.120 quite serious news interviews. You know, I'm terribly sorry to 259 00:14:40.200 --> 00:14:42.480 inform you that we recovered the body from this quarry 260 00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:45.559 on this date and different things, and I'm stood there like, oh, 261 00:14:45.639 --> 00:14:46.919 chinky Jesus. 262 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:51.200 Chunky Jesus. I thought more like Odd needed a raven. 263 00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:52.799 I'm afraid he is dead. 264 00:14:53.080 --> 00:14:56.039 I had quite a boyish, girlish face. I was quite 265 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:59.679 youthful and had long hair, and yeah, it was all 266 00:14:59.720 --> 00:15:00.679 it was all a good look. 267 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.519 I really wanted to believe it was like a sort 268 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:06.559 of like a sexy Viking kind of look. But chunky 269 00:15:06.639 --> 00:15:10.399 Jesus and sexy Viking are very opposite. 270 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:13.480 Jesus. No, I was climbing then as well, so I was. 271 00:15:14.679 --> 00:15:17.200 I was trying to stay as lean as possible because 272 00:15:17.240 --> 00:15:19.480 I'm a big lad anyway, so trying to keep the 273 00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:21.919 weight down for climbing purposes. Yeah. 274 00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:24.480 I do think there's an advert in that though. Chunky 275 00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:29.159 Jesus dot com. It's got a certain sort of thing, 276 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:30.840 you know, adverts. 277 00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:33.120 I was pretending to be a kitchen maker at the time. 278 00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:35.440 I was sort of handmaking these oak kitchens for all 279 00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:38.200 these farmhouses in the middle of nowhere at the same time. 280 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:40.919 And I'd turn up to these quite plash farmhouses in 281 00:15:40.919 --> 00:15:43.399 like Cheshire and Shropshire, and the guy would open the 282 00:15:43.399 --> 00:15:45.960 door and you look at me and go, all right, fair. 283 00:15:45.879 --> 00:15:50.919 Enough, Yes, let's hope your cabinets are better than your hair. Yeah, 284 00:15:51.080 --> 00:15:53.759 I mean, do you know it's funny because obviously, well 285 00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:58.320 after I left school, I went straight into the army 286 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:04.919 and the elaborate hairstyles were not an option within the Guards. 287 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:07.519 Funny enough, although this is true, they're going back to 288 00:16:07.559 --> 00:16:11.000 the old mullet thing. When I arrived at the guard's step, 289 00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:13.440 I was sixteen years old and I was the only 290 00:16:13.480 --> 00:16:15.519 one to pitch up in a suit. My dad thought 291 00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:17.799 it was a good idea, so he bought me a 292 00:16:17.799 --> 00:16:21.799 double breasted, pinstriped suit, which I then pitched up. And 293 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:24.879 there's all these other guys who had like come from 294 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.679 South Yorkshire coal fields because there are no jobs there anymore, 295 00:16:28.759 --> 00:16:32.759 or down from the depressed Deep South West, or a 296 00:16:32.799 --> 00:16:35.120 lot of guys in Whales are going to the Welsh Guards. 297 00:16:36.039 --> 00:16:37.960 And there's me in my suit and we all sort 298 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.879 of got absolutely ashen faced and scared because all of 299 00:16:40.919 --> 00:16:42.960 a sudden we diss waved. Our parents could buy all 300 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:45.960 sixteen and go oh mom Croy. And then you get 301 00:16:45.960 --> 00:16:47.720 there and there's all of a sudden there's this man 302 00:16:48.120 --> 00:16:51.360 who's a sort of lance corporal in the Scots Guards 303 00:16:51.559 --> 00:16:55.480 who's bustling about and he's going, hey, he said, there's 304 00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:59.840 too guarantees here. Anyone who's got this stupid rest bands on. 305 00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:03.320 He goes, they will not survive the guards dipple and 306 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:06.200 of course, as we was, aha were very popular there, 307 00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:09.319 wristbands are and you could see the whole bust full 308 00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:11.119 of people trying to remove these things. And he goes 309 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:14.799 and anyone with stupid gear haircuts, they are definitely not 310 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:17.200 going to survive the guard's depot. And we just met 311 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:19.519 this very tall Welsh guy who was going in the 312 00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:22.920 Welsh Guards who told us, as we're all milling around 313 00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:25.880 waiting to get ushered onto buses, that he'd had his 314 00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:31.759 mullet permed specially to come to the guards deco. Now 315 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:34.079 you didn't have to do a lot of research into its, 316 00:17:34.119 --> 00:17:36.359 like being in the army, that's to know that mullets 317 00:17:36.359 --> 00:17:38.839 are probably not in and perming them is a waste 318 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:41.160 of time. And you could see this Scott's Guards going 319 00:17:41.240 --> 00:17:43.920 and anyone with stupid hairdoos, they are definitely not And 320 00:17:43.960 --> 00:17:46.839 he suddenly catches the sight of this seven foot tall 321 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:49.559 Welsh sort of bloke with a mullet and he goes, 322 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:54.000 oh my god. And we saw him the next day 323 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:56.160 when we all got our haircut, you know, like in 324 00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:59.640 good morning Vietnam and around the back of the sides 325 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:01.880 and leave fluffy bit on the top and I think 326 00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:05.440 they particularly hacked him. He looked like he'd sort of 327 00:18:05.480 --> 00:18:08.960 had the apprentice on the on the flail moa go 328 00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:11.519 over him, and they'd had it all taken off. But 329 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:14.880 when I then got to Agricultural college, so another six 330 00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:17.599 years after, so i'd then been in the army. Oh 331 00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:19.680 my god. So by this point, this is why when 332 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:22.119 Nirvana were quite big and all that sort of stuff, 333 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:25.119 and I thought, right, I'm going to be really cool 334 00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:28.799 now because I was suddenly living out my late teens 335 00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:33.000 early twenties when I was in my mid twenties, and 336 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:37.400 I just went stupid. But I've seen old photographs of 337 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:39.960 myself and I thought, at the time I looked exactly 338 00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:44.000 like k Cobain. Well, no, I look more like No, 339 00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:48.359 I look more like that on cocaine. No, sort of 340 00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:50.319 Captain Pugwash. I don't know what the hell I looked like, 341 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:52.200 but it was it was stupid. So you know, you've 342 00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:54.559 got layers on and checks, and when you go to 343 00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:57.400 agricultural collegy, then it was all like you got to 344 00:18:57.440 --> 00:18:59.279 sort of walk around looking like that you literally just 345 00:18:59.319 --> 00:19:01.960 finished milk, and it looked more like someone had just 346 00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:05.000 finished milking me. It wasn't wasn't a good look at all. 347 00:19:06.119 --> 00:19:08.119 It wasn't a good look. It wasn't a good look. 348 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:09.640 But I need to see this. 349 00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:12.920 Well, yeah, what we're going to have to do is 350 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:14.519 put them on our Instagram thing. 351 00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:17.839 Oh yes, yes, you just sent you one on, just 352 00:19:17.880 --> 00:19:19.680 sent you a couple of WhatsApp. 353 00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:24.359 Oh my Jesus, Christ, look at that with the look. 354 00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:27.559 He looks slightly like that first one you have sent Callum. 355 00:19:28.039 --> 00:19:31.240 If you imagine Hitler and you took his mustache shot. 356 00:19:31.640 --> 00:19:34.559 I did get a lot of Hitler references. 357 00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:37.359 Yeah, you know there's houses that look like Hitler where 358 00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:39.160 they've got sort of the dorma with the dorma. 359 00:19:40.200 --> 00:19:40.400 Yeah. 360 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:45.839 Also got told I I looked like Mark Armond. 361 00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:49.680 Yeah, there's definitely a lot of the slightly sort of 362 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:55.599 camp ah. Oh, yes, like he is this chunky Jesus. 363 00:19:56.599 --> 00:20:00.400 I haven't got access immediately to these things because I 364 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:03.680 don't have half them ready to hand unless you want 365 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:05.880 to go on the scripud thing. And you can see 366 00:20:05.880 --> 00:20:08.599 me with a mullet on the front of my article. 367 00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.480 Right, Well, we'll time the will time some photos to 368 00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:12.839 come out with this episode. 369 00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:17.279 Yes, how about yes, so rural fashions. They've never been 370 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:20.880 good at all in the history of mankind, and they're 371 00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:24.680 no better now. But I have tried to excuse the 372 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:27.960 guys who play rugby and are into their farming today 373 00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:31.599 with having the silly hair. Not because they're just young 374 00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:34.079 and daft and you do stupid things with you your 375 00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:36.799 hair and things that when you're young. It's because they're 376 00:20:36.839 --> 00:20:40.359 trying to stick a middle finger up to the current 377 00:20:41.480 --> 00:20:45.319 authority that they have over them. That's my excuse for them, 378 00:20:45.319 --> 00:20:48.680 and I hope they embrace me like a god or 379 00:20:48.759 --> 00:20:49.680 Chunky Jesus. 380 00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:51.960 Chunky Jesus. That's a T shirt. 381 00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:57.680 I just wanted to get girls well looking like that. Yeah, 382 00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:00.079 I have ever. 383 00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:06.039 This is Amy, the producer of the Countryside podcast As 384 00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:09.599 has Become Fashion. We put out a tweet for small 385 00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:15.079 rural businesses who wanted to describe their business part way 386 00:21:15.079 --> 00:21:19.599 through our podcast. The following is just one of the 387 00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:25.519 several who got in touch. This is Hannah from Esthercare. 388 00:21:26.599 --> 00:21:30.680 My husband and I run a small rural gardening business 389 00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:33.720 in West Suffolk. At this time of year, we are 390 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:39.079 predominantly planting hedges trees. We prune a lot of apple 391 00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:44.240 trees in orchards. During the summer months, we do garden maintenance, 392 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:47.279 grass cutting, hedge cutting at the right time of year, 393 00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:55.240 maintain borders. We also advise on meadows and wildflower areas. 394 00:21:55.720 --> 00:21:58.720 So if anyone is interested in that, get in touch. 395 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:03.119 You can find us at stk UK on Instagram's e 396 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:08.200 s t a ci e UK. Thanks very much. 397 00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:15.680 Well the wonderful series The Detectorists. If you haven't seen it, it's 398 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:19.960 still on BBC. It's all filmed round here and that 399 00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:23.880 captures that spit because obviously metal detecting is very popular 400 00:22:24.920 --> 00:22:27.599 around here. A lot of people in the villages go 401 00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:30.359