Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
Speaker 1: covering Dungeon Crawler Caral chapters forty five through the epilogue.
Speaker 1: Discerning listeners may notice that it says chapters forty five
Speaker 1: through epilogue, but I already covered forty five in the
Speaker 1: last episode. There was a little bit of an overlap
Speaker 1: in the commissioned chapters.
Speaker 2: It happens.
Speaker 1: It's fine. Welcome to spoil Me. Welcome to the show everyone.
Speaker 1: I am Natasha. Thank you very much to Michael for
Speaker 1: commissioning these episodes. Michael is here in the chat along
Speaker 1: with Zoo and Rob, so welcome to both of you.
Speaker 1: Michael says Natasha paid the daddy tax a little early.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means, is it? Oh? Is it?
Speaker 1: Or do you just mean I read that part a
Speaker 1: little early?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: I was just like, what, Yeah, the spreadsheet had forty
Speaker 1: five included. In the previous episode, it said whatever chapter
Speaker 1: through forty five, And it wasn't until today that I
Speaker 1: looked and I saw that the next episode it was
Speaker 1: listed starting with forty five through whatever. So I don't
Speaker 1: know if that was Michael's mistake, if that was Kandas's
Speaker 1: mistake because Candas does the spreadsheet. So but either way,
Speaker 1: I was like, I went and started at chapter forty
Speaker 1: five because I didn't even think about it. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, wait a minute, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: but it's five. Fine, it's five. It's fine because you know,
Speaker 1: I'm at the end of the book, and there's always
Speaker 1: a lot to talk about in a recap when you
Speaker 1: have the entire book behind you. So it's probably for
Speaker 1: the best that this reading section be a little bit
Speaker 1: shorter because I'll have so much more to talk about.
Speaker 1: So let's this moment where Donut says, time to pay
Speaker 1: the daddy tax if it makes you feel better. She
Speaker 1: was talking about you, you're the daddy. I asked everybody
Speaker 1: what the hell does that mean? And there was somebody
Speaker 1: on the discord who said that the daddy tax is
Speaker 1: essentially her saying, I've got to go keep him happy
Speaker 1: by fucking. So here I go to do my chore
Speaker 1: of having sex with the guy that I'm living with,
Speaker 1: which is so incredibly sad, Like there's just the vibe
Speaker 1: of that there are so many things that are insulting
Speaker 1: and distressing about it, and I can't tell you, guys,
Speaker 1: how offended on his behalf I was. Once I realized
Speaker 1: that they were right, I'm gonna go and just double
Speaker 1: check who it was that posted that while I'm talking
Speaker 1: about this, But I just like the idea that she
Speaker 1: viewed fucking him as a chore, and that we know
Speaker 1: she was cheating on him with a few different people.
Speaker 1: And considering the fact that, like Carl has had a
Speaker 1: really bullying father, I feel like there's maybe meant to
Speaker 1: be an indication here that being raised by people who
Speaker 1: did not seem to really care about him or put
Speaker 1: him first resulted in him being in a relationship with
Speaker 1: somebody who didn't really care about him or put him first.
Speaker 1: Time travel Dev on Discord is the one who explained it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Time travel Dev appreciates you. So I am
Speaker 1: like kind of wondering if Carl is going to be
Speaker 1: able to move past this, sort of.
Speaker 2: Like it's the question that we all live with every
Speaker 2: day of our lives.
Speaker 1: Though, right am I ever going to be able to
Speaker 1: break the cycle of what I have come to see
Speaker 1: as except behavior due to the way I was raised?
Speaker 2: It's always the question.
Speaker 1: And there are things that are toxic and abusive that
Speaker 1: feel comfortable and familiar to us because it's what we
Speaker 1: experienced when we were little, and the fact that they
Speaker 1: are toxic and abusive does not register because it feels normal.
Speaker 1: It just is normal to us. And it's not until
Speaker 1: we're around people who had a more balanced and stable
Speaker 1: upbringing and they give us a look of horror as
Speaker 1: we related them something that somebody said during an argument
Speaker 1: that we suddenly have a moment of realizing, Oh, maybe
Speaker 1: the thing that I've taken for granted is being the
Speaker 1: normal human experience, isn't. And I just like, I've been
Speaker 1: on both ends of that, you know, talking to somebody
Speaker 1: and sharing a story and them looking horrified. And I
Speaker 1: have had a few people that they have told like,
Speaker 1: for example, something that I did not grow up with
Speaker 1: was people throwing around insults during fights. So when a
Speaker 1: friend of mine tells me that her and her boyfriend
Speaker 1: Goanna fight and she says that he yelled at her
Speaker 1: that she's a fat, ugly slud, I in my brain
Speaker 1: am just like, well, that's it, right, that's the dumping thing.
Speaker 1: You just can't come back from saying that. But to her,
Speaker 1: that's just the thing you do when you fight. He
Speaker 1: didn't mean it, Uh, uh No, Like for me, that's it,
Speaker 1: that's the fucking But we all draw our lines in
Speaker 1: different places and demand different things, and what we are
Speaker 1: raised to accept is part of what dictates where we
Speaker 1: draw the line.
Speaker 2: So I always find.
Speaker 1: It really kind of interesting to see where people's boundaries
Speaker 1: are because it is very telling, and we have to
Speaker 1: learn whether the boundaries we had as children still work
Speaker 1: for us as adults, and if they don't, we have
Speaker 1: to reinforce new ones, and that's always really really hard,
Speaker 1: especially if you attract people who treat you the same
Speaker 1: way that people used to. Now you have to establish
Speaker 1: a new boundary that they will bulk at, or you
Speaker 1: have to surround yourself with new people, which is also
Speaker 1: very hard. Zeus says, I keep asking myself how complacent
Speaker 1: was Karl that he allowed this disaster of a relationship
Speaker 1: to carry on. And it's a really interesting question because like,
Speaker 1: how convincing was b that she was happy, you know,
Speaker 1: because she was the one cheating. And obviously if you're
Speaker 1: cheating them as much as Bee is cheating, you are
Speaker 1: not happy in your relationship. This is more than just
Speaker 1: like I slipped up. This is somebody who is actively
Speaker 1: going out and living like a double life, triple life, And.
Speaker 2: Why did Be not just leave?
Speaker 1: It sounds like she had family that she could have
Speaker 1: stayed with, Like Be sounds like a spoiled brat, really,
Speaker 1: and honestly, I relate. I cheated on my first husband,
Speaker 1: not physically but virtually, and that was how I met Owen,
Speaker 1: And I should have left. I should have like we
Speaker 1: had talked about divorcing and we were in the stages
Speaker 1: of getting our belonging separated and stuff, but we were
Speaker 1: not actually divorced, and we hadn't fully separated. And I
Speaker 1: did not lead him to believe that I was seeing
Speaker 1: anybody else. So in my mind and his, that's cheating.
Speaker 1: And I look back and realize I was a complete brad.
Speaker 2: I was so.
Speaker 1: Entitled and shitty. And this is not to say that
Speaker 1: he was an angel who was perfect, because he was
Speaker 1: a disaster, you know. But I could have just ended it,
Speaker 1: and I fucking didn't do that. And you know, this
Speaker 1: is the thing that happens when you are in a
Speaker 1: relationship for a long time. There's this inertia that becomes
Speaker 1: really difficult to fight against. Change is hard, and especially
Speaker 1: the older that you get and the more set in
Speaker 1: your ways, you get the more exhausting it is to
Speaker 1: like start over again. It can be exciting, for sure,
Speaker 1: but it's really really tiring. It can be scary, and
Speaker 1: especially considering the like economic climate that we live in,
Speaker 1: people aren't making the kind of money where they can
Speaker 1: just go and get their own place. Most of us
Speaker 1: move in with people a little earlier than we maybe
Speaker 1: should for the sake of sharing rent, you know, Like
Speaker 1: that's a big part of why people move in together,
Speaker 1: is the economic aspect of it. And I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe both of them didn't feel like they could make
Speaker 1: it on their own, or things just were comfortable enough,
Speaker 1: But it's the sort of thing where I hold be
Speaker 1: more responsible obviously as the cheater. But I also can't
Speaker 1: help but think that there must have been signs that
Speaker 1: Carl was missing either on like but either unconsciously or
Speaker 1: wilfully missing, because that's the thing that I feel was
Speaker 1: happening with my ex was that he knew and to
Speaker 1: a degree like kind of buried his head in the sand.
Speaker 1: And I think part of that came from him being
Speaker 1: a little bit like, I don't want to carry the
Speaker 1: burden of the really like there's there's a type of
Speaker 1: relationship where this can happen, where one person wants the
Speaker 1: other to be much more active and engaged and give
Speaker 1: them more attention and you know, treat them as if
Speaker 1: they are a priority, and the other really hasn't got
Speaker 1: any interest in doing that. And so when they begin
Speaker 1: to sense that the other is cheating, there's a weird
Speaker 1: sense of relief that like, now the burden is off
Speaker 1: me and I don't have to perform anymore because they're getting.
Speaker 2: That somewhere and I don't have to worry about it,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And people, I think would deny that, but I have
Speaker 1: seen it firsthand, both in my marriage and my parents' marriage,
Speaker 1: because again, we replicate the things.
Speaker 2: That we know and have seen before. It's not great.
Speaker 1: So this part of me is wondering if Carl was
Speaker 1: like a little bit lazy in his relationship and there
Speaker 1: were signs if he had been paying attention, and either
Speaker 1: he wasn't paying attention or he kind of had a
Speaker 1: feeling but also didn't want to be fucking bothered, because
Speaker 1: that's a real thing.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: There's so many couples out there where they like barely
Speaker 1: have sex anymore. Because they just masturbate and get to
Speaker 1: their orgasm and that that's all they really care about,
Speaker 1: and the actual connection between the two of them isn't
Speaker 1: like a thing, and sex is seen as just getting
Speaker 1: you to an orgasm and not as like a bonding
Speaker 1: experience between two people.
Speaker 2: And so like, you know, when it.
Speaker 1: Gets to this place where she's saying the daddy tacks
Speaker 1: and she sees him as a chore, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: really that's like the whole thing right there, you know.
Speaker 1: Rob says, when I first read, I definitely pondered whether
Speaker 1: it was complacency, cluelessness, or an abandonment complex that allowed
Speaker 1: him to gloss over without really thinking about it much.
Speaker 1: Michael says, some people still and even a not very
Speaker 1: happy relationship, just because it feels easier than having to
Speaker 1: start over somewhere else one hundred percent. This is also
Speaker 1: something called the sunk cost fallacy, where people feel like
Speaker 1: I've spent so much time in this relationship that if
Speaker 1: I start over now, it's like more of a failure.
Speaker 1: And it's called the sunk cost fallacy.
Speaker 2: Because it's garbage. It's false.
Speaker 1: There is nothing about the amount of time that you
Speaker 1: have previously spent with somebody that should dictate in any
Speaker 1: way what you do next based on your happiness and
Speaker 1: their behavior. Those things are not relevant to one another
Speaker 1: at all. It doesn't matter. I don't care if you're
Speaker 1: married and you have kids. Honestly, like if anything, being
Speaker 1: somebody who has children, I feel like even less so
Speaker 1: is irrelevant. You should be more willing to leave at
Speaker 1: the drop of a hat because you have kids, because
Speaker 1: that is something that is going to weigh on them
Speaker 1: for the rest of their lives. My parents didn't break
Speaker 1: up until I was eighteen and had moved out, and
Speaker 1: I am still angry that it took them so long
Speaker 1: because I knew from like age nine that they didn't
Speaker 1: want to be together. It was so obvious, and they
Speaker 1: used me as the excuse to stay together. But I
Speaker 1: don't believe it. I believe that they both just didn't
Speaker 1: want to change.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't think that it was for my welfare. I
Speaker 1: think my welfare was the rationalization that they used for
Speaker 1: their own desire to keep things the same, and the
Speaker 1: idea of like staying in something that is unhappy. Like
Speaker 1: I said, I've done it. I get it, but I
Speaker 1: didn't do it.
Speaker 2: For very long, Like it.
Speaker 1: Was I could only sustain it for so long before
Speaker 1: I really started to be like, what the fuck am
Speaker 1: I doing? Because I am a person who's more willing
Speaker 1: to change things dramatically in my life than average I think.
Speaker 1: Rob says, I've also seen in friends a whole well,
Speaker 1: I deserve this thing in their bad relationships. That one
Speaker 1: is a really tough one because, like I have struggled
Speaker 1: a little bit with that, but mostly have had a
Speaker 1: supportive family and have felt like I don't deserve this.
Speaker 2: Like there are.
Speaker 1: Times where I will be like, well, maybe it makes sense,
Speaker 1: you know, but mostly I don't struggle with that, and
Speaker 1: it's very hard to put myself in that headspace and
Speaker 1: like understand where somebody is coming from where they feel
Speaker 1: like that's acceptable. So, you know, there are some things
Speaker 1: that a friend comes to me for advice and I
Speaker 1: will feel like I can really put myself in their
Speaker 1: shoes and say something that they will understand in a
Speaker 1: really like visceral way. And then there are things like
Speaker 1: that where I don't know what to say because that's
Speaker 1: about your self worth a human being, and that's a
Speaker 1: big fucking question. If you don't feel like you are
Speaker 1: worthy of better. Then there is something so fundamental that
Speaker 1: needs to be shifted in your thinking that that's that's
Speaker 1: not something I can say anything about.
Speaker 2: You need to just go to therapy on that.
Speaker 1: Michael says, I just finished watching Adolescents on Netflix.
Speaker 2: Excellent.
Speaker 1: The dad on that show reminded me of Carl A bit.
Speaker 1: Can't explain why without minor spoilers. Unfortunately, to quote the
Speaker 1: Perks of being a wallflower, people accept the love they
Speaker 1: think they deserve, which wasn't a happy quote.
Speaker 2: Somebody commissioned me to watch.
Speaker 1: The Perks of being a Wallflower. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: somewhere in the Spoiling Feed, but yeah, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: exactly it. So this is part of why people need
Speaker 1: to raise their kids with more self worth, because then
Speaker 1: they will hold the other people around them to a
Speaker 1: higher expectation on how they're treated. Any See, I told
Speaker 1: you guys that it was good that this was like
Speaker 1: a shorter section. So let's start with chapter forty six.
Speaker 2: Where the dungeon.
Speaker 1: Groans in response to Carl stepping on the guinea pig,
Speaker 1: which is the entire dungeon rumbled as if it was
Speaker 1: experiencing a small earthquake. My hud flickered. I felt dirty
Speaker 1: and sick. So this this is the AI orgasming, right,
Speaker 1: that's what's happening, like fully, Oh my god, it is horrifying.
Speaker 1: I hate it so much. Oh, Michael said, sorry for
Speaker 1: the spoiler. No no, no, Michael, I commit I watched
Speaker 1: it already. It's on the feed like in the distant past.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about it. That was not a spoiler.
Speaker 1: But yeah, this is just like I honestly, the experience
Speaker 1: of being made like being objectified by the AI, it's
Speaker 1: just funny. I can't help but just be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, it's very uncomfortable and horrible. Sucks suck, you know,
Speaker 1: I just can't. I can't be bothered by it. Dozens
Speaker 1: of red dots filled the hallways. These were newly generated
Speaker 1: brindle grubs. I watched as the white dots of the
Speaker 1: Dingoes continued to run toward the main artery hall, snatching
Speaker 1: up and killing the grubs. They passed the Dingoes as
Speaker 1: a pack hit the main passage, and their dots disappeared.
Speaker 2: I wondered what happened.
Speaker 1: I wondered what would happen if they ran across another
Speaker 1: group of crawlers. Probably nothing good, at least not for
Speaker 1: the crawlers. That didn't occur to me. They're like, I
Speaker 1: get why he doesn't spend much more time examining that,
Speaker 1: because like, why would you There's no good to come
Speaker 1: up that. But I was a little bit startled when
Speaker 1: he brought it up. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: the idea of you saving yourself means this just reminds
Speaker 1: me a lot of something that was like I think
Speaker 1: screenshotted from Tumblr, and it was basically a person pointing
Speaker 1: out that when you tell girls at parties to watch
Speaker 1: their drinks and to make sure that like they are safe,
Speaker 1: rather than addressing the behavior of rapists, what you are
Speaker 1: really saying is make sure they rape the other girl instead.
Speaker 1: And people don't think of it that way understandably, but
Speaker 1: like that's.
Speaker 2: Not entirely inaccurate.
Speaker 1: And this moment of like I made them our friends,
Speaker 1: would they ate the biscuits and now they're like on
Speaker 1: our side. It felt like a straight up victory until
Speaker 1: they took off and then he mentioned that, and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden I was like, oh no, Like I
Speaker 1: just never even stopped to consider that this would not
Speaker 1: mean the things are just friendly towards humans in general,
Speaker 1: that it's just them. And there is something really saddening
Speaker 1: about the idea of like, like if they were to
Speaker 1: all be in a hallway, that the human beings would
Speaker 1: be ripped apart around them and not them. Like I'm
Speaker 1: wondering if Carl and Uh and Doughnut were to like
Speaker 1: be there when the human beings were attacked, when the
Speaker 1: other crawlers were attacked, if they began to defend those
Speaker 1: crawlers the biscuits, I have to assume like the effect
Speaker 1: of those would be negated and the Dingoes would go
Speaker 1: back to seeing them as enemies. Right, I'm assuming that
Speaker 1: it's not so far as like we're going to be
Speaker 1: able to defend these people and that will lead the
Speaker 1: Dingoes to seeing that these are also friends.
Speaker 2: Because I don't feel like it.
Speaker 1: I wonder if you could give all of the other
Speaker 1: humans some biscuits and have them each feed the dingoes
Speaker 1: biscuit and then you could just like all be safe.
Speaker 2: But again that's just me.
Speaker 1: That's just ensuring that it's you and your group.
Speaker 2: It's a you know, so it sucks. It sucks.
Speaker 1: Michael says, it's one of those things where we're too
Speaker 1: small to address the larger issues, so we can only
Speaker 1: work to protect ourselves and those near us, right and well,
Speaker 1: and that's that's the argument, right, Like, we can address
Speaker 1: the larger issue, but we behave as if rapists are
Speaker 1: simply an inevitability in a way that is like really
Speaker 1: deeply fucked up, actually our expectation of that, And we
Speaker 1: could address the behavior as a larger issue systematically, but
Speaker 1: it's just like we are very self defeating about it,
Speaker 1: and so instead we'll try to control women and their
Speaker 1: behavior instead of trying to address the way that men
Speaker 1: see women and try to control the men's behavior. It's
Speaker 1: just very funny to me, how anything that involves women
Speaker 1: at all, we are the only ones whose behavior is
Speaker 1: seen as alterable. We are the only ones who are
Speaker 1: seen as actually doing something incorrectly, versus men who when
Speaker 1: they are rapists, it's much more like, well, that's like
Speaker 1: an instinctual.
Speaker 2: Urge and not them being a.
Speaker 1: Like a person who has been programmed by society to
Speaker 1: see women as objects and not living beings. You know.
Speaker 2: But anyway, anyway.
Speaker 1: They go over to the cobalt. Then there's a key.
Speaker 1: Master pen key opens the individual cages of both the
Speaker 1: fighters and the bait animals within the coalbalt fighting pits.
Speaker 1: This key is magically attuned to the coalbalt race. If
Speaker 1: you are not a Cobalt and attempt to use this key,
Speaker 1: it will only work once before breaking choose wisely. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely had a moment here of thinking it was
Speaker 1: going to say, if you're not a Cobalt, you can't
Speaker 1: use this key at all, and that it was going
Speaker 1: to be like, now pick your race, you know, like
Speaker 1: that it was key was going to be sort of
Speaker 1: trapped into a decision. And it turns out the reward
Speaker 1: room that they are in is for pets. Menagerie, you
Speaker 1: have discovered a.
Speaker 2: Pet reward room.
Speaker 1: From caterpillars who secrete vodka to basilisks who can turn
Speaker 1: mobs to stone, a good pet can make the difference
Speaker 1: between survival and the end of the road. Just remember
Speaker 1: what happened with Harambe. There ain't no zookeepers around to
Speaker 1: shoot the monsters ass If you bite off more than
Speaker 1: you can chew reward, you have a key. It opens
Speaker 1: only one cage. Figure it out, Einstein. So I love
Speaker 1: the fact that he also the AI says to both
Speaker 1: of them that it's like you tell them that I
Speaker 1: said it was your prize. But Karl knows that they're
Speaker 1: just being fucked with, so he's like, yeah, I'll let
Speaker 1: Donut pick because whoever has the most charisma and the
Speaker 1: most strength is going to be the one that deals
Speaker 1: better with the pet, so it makes sense for her
Speaker 1: to pick the one that she vibes with the most.
Speaker 1: There's something called juvenile ribbon wing that looks like a parrot.
Speaker 1: The next was a green slime, then a rat, then
Speaker 1: a meatball with two legs and a mohawk called a
Speaker 1: tummy acre. Of the first four, only the slime.
Speaker 2: And the rat had white dots.
Speaker 1: A row of equally pitiful animals followed looking up at us,
Speaker 1: including a white tagged brindle grub. Donut only had eyes
Speaker 1: on that last cage. It was a chicken dinosaur thing
Speaker 1: with pink, downy feathers. The monster coued up at the cat,
Speaker 1: making a chirping noise. The thing looked pitiful. I immediately
Speaker 1: saw why Doughnut liked it. It landed firmly in the
Speaker 1: it's so damn ugly it's cute category. It was probably
Speaker 1: seven inches tall. It stood on two legs and cocked
Speaker 1: its head at me. The damn thing looked like a
Speaker 1: raw piece of chicken with a few random pink hued
Speaker 1: feathers attached to it. It had two tiny forearms instead
Speaker 1: of wings, and a long, ser serpentine tail. It was
Speaker 1: called mongoliensis. It was also red tagged.
Speaker 2: Is it a boy or girl?
Speaker 1: How can I tell? If it's a boy, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: call him mongo. If it's a girl, I'm naming her sissy.
Speaker 1: It looks like dinner, I said, I think we should
Speaker 1: get the brindle grub, give it a pet biscuit. See
Speaker 1: if it's dot changes to white. I sighed and pulled
Speaker 1: a pet biscuit out. I tried to toss it into
Speaker 1: the cage, but a blue force field appeared, blocking the treat.
Speaker 1: The chicken cried in outrage and slammed its head against
Speaker 1: the bars. You guys, I swear to God the what
Speaker 1: we find out later is that this is a velociraptor.
Speaker 1: First of all, I will acknowledge to everybody out there
Speaker 1: who is yelling about this. I know velociraptors aren't real.
Speaker 1: The inclusion of them in some particular text was like
Speaker 1: a mistaken amalgamation of different bones from various animals apparently
Speaker 1: that were misinterpreted to be from one skeleton. And so
Speaker 1: this creature named a velociraptor was put into like one
Speaker 1: book and it was eventually found to be false and corrected,
Speaker 1: but not before the velociraptor entered into popular fiction via
Speaker 1: Jurassic Park.
Speaker 2: And it became the thing.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I don't care at all. It's
Speaker 1: fine whatever, We're in an alien world here, a velociraptor
Speaker 1: is real here, Okay, we were mistaken and it's real.
Speaker 1: And I also want to register my profound support and
Speaker 1: delight for the fact that it has pink feathers. We
Speaker 1: are going to get a killing machine that looks like
Speaker 1: a flamingo, hopefully, and I, for one, am fully and
Speaker 1: one hundred percent behind it. You guys know how I
Speaker 1: feel about the color pink. I do not care if
Speaker 1: it is seen in a certain light. A lot of
Speaker 1: people feel a way about pink. Feel whatever you want.
Speaker 1: Pink is the best color. And I'm sorry, That's just
Speaker 1: all there is to it. And a pink velociraptor donut,
Speaker 1: and I I just I am so sorry. But we
Speaker 1: are too much alike, and it's alarming that part where
Speaker 1: he's like, I can't believe you put that crown on,
Speaker 1: and she just says it's purple. I mean, yeah, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: all of it everything. I can't help it. The only
Speaker 1: thing is that she does things like impulsively in other
Speaker 1: ways that I would be very, very obsessive about checking first.
Speaker 2: But you know I am.
Speaker 1: I am very into this, and I love the fact
Speaker 1: that he is so cranky and basically the next chapters
Speaker 1: are just him biting her on the fucking face repeatedly
Speaker 1: despite her like her adoration.
Speaker 2: There's really no other word for it.
Speaker 1: Donut is devoted to this animal in a way that
Speaker 1: is like.
Speaker 2: Also highly relatable for me.
Speaker 1: I wish that you guys could see the way that
Speaker 1: I I am with my dog. Most of the time,
Speaker 1: I am sickening. Nobody likes it. Everybody rolls their eyes
Speaker 1: and deals with it. Like my husband is the most
Speaker 1: understanding because he loves Pippin also, but I know that,
Speaker 1: like when Sydney comes over, they are very much like
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, because Pippin can do literally anything, and I
Speaker 1: am just like, oh my god, did you see that
Speaker 1: he took a giant dump.
Speaker 2: He's so cute, like, I can't. I just there's just
Speaker 2: nothing to be done.
Speaker 1: It's too late. My brain is absolute mush in his hands,
Speaker 1: in his little paws.
Speaker 2: So the whole.
Speaker 1: Attitude that Donut has about Mango from here on, I stan,
Speaker 1: I really just stand.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: M So they get like a timer that says they
Speaker 1: have thirty seconds, and he's like, all right, fine, because
Speaker 1: he's trying to talk her out of it at first,
Speaker 1: but he grabs it. Of course, it's like still angry.
Speaker 1: It continued to fight me, but it slowed down, eyeing
Speaker 1: the food and eats some of the food, but the
Speaker 1: dot stays red. It's not having any effect. I thought maybe,
Speaker 1: but it did seem like that would be a little
Speaker 1: bit too easy. The baby dinosaur, still in my grip,
Speaker 1: started screaming back at the cat while I tried to
Speaker 1: keep myself from falling over with laughter. Doughnut hissed and
Speaker 1: swatted it lightly on the head. The small monster squealed
Speaker 1: indignantly and snapped again at her face. Male mongoliensis level one.
Speaker 1: This is a pet class mob. This pet has not
Speaker 1: yet bonded with a crawler. The stubborn and hot headed.
Speaker 1: Mongoliensis is not the type of pet to ever be tamed.
Speaker 1: The best one can hope for is mutual respect, and
Speaker 1: even then they still might try to eat you if
Speaker 1: the fancy strikes them. While especially powerful, fast, and vicious
Speaker 1: when they are fully grown at level fifteen, getting them
Speaker 1: to level fifteen is about as likely as a cheerleader
Speaker 1: from West Virginia reaching her eighteenth birthdays of virgin They
Speaker 1: will immediately attack any mobs they see. They will fight
Speaker 1: to the death. Good luck, God, damn it, donut, I said,
Speaker 1: I knew we should have gone with the grub. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to have a disgusting bug as a pet, Carl.
Speaker 1: You can't even put a bow tie on a grub.
Speaker 1: She's right, and she should be louder. Don't worry, Karl,
Speaker 1: Mango and I are practically best friends already, aren't we.
Speaker 1: Mango Mango shrieked at the cat. Chapter forty seven begins.
Speaker 1: One hundred and twenty four trillion views, two trillion followers,
Speaker 1: two hundred and thirty four billion favorites. I wish I
Speaker 1: had a better understanding of how many trillions of people
Speaker 1: are watching, so that I knew what percentage of this
Speaker 1: there is because it feels high, but it may not
Speaker 1: be that high, although later on it turns out like
Speaker 1: for a second floor, they're kind of unprecedented in their popularity,
Speaker 1: so I guess it is high.
Speaker 2: So the continuing.
Speaker 1: Fallout from the Maestro sex tape, along with Donut getting
Speaker 1: her nose chopped over and over, seemed to be a
Speaker 1: winning combination in terms of views.
Speaker 2: Zev was beside.
Speaker 1: Herself with our numbers, which apparently were exceptionally good for
Speaker 1: the second floor. We received daily updates from the pr agent.
Speaker 1: The pet was playing well, Zev implored me to stop
Speaker 1: training with the slingshot. Nobody liked me using the boring slingshot,
Speaker 1: she claimed, not when I could toss a stick of
Speaker 1: dynamite instead. I ignored her advice and continued practicing with it.
Speaker 1: I managed to get the skill up to five, and
Speaker 1: while the tiny stones did very little damage, they had
Speaker 1: the ability to knock the brindled Vespas out of the air.
Speaker 1: A single hit to one of the hornet's wings caused
Speaker 1: it to crash to the ground and make it unable
Speaker 1: to spit its acid. A follow up magic missile from Donut,
Speaker 1: whose skill in the spell had risen to eight usually
Speaker 1: killed them off. We didn't need to wander far when
Speaker 1: we had an almost endless supply of the Levely hornets
Speaker 1: to hunt. I personally am very supportive of using a
Speaker 1: weapon like that requires so little in the way of supply.
Speaker 1: All you need is a small enough object to hurl
Speaker 1: with a slingshot. Granted, it's better if the thing is
Speaker 1: like weighted evenly ideally, sure, but you just aren't going
Speaker 1: to have a lifetime supply of sticks of dynamite. I
Speaker 1: get why people like that, but it's also a resource
Speaker 1: that you should be conserving for when it's necessary, and
Speaker 1: something like this is smart long term. There's times where
Speaker 1: you do need to consider your crowd, and there are
Speaker 1: times where the crowd should be fucking ignored. And this
Speaker 1: and the final Star Wars movie is the other one,
Speaker 1: and those fans should have been ignored.
Speaker 2: Miss t don't get mad at me.
Speaker 1: I'm not bringing it up. I'm not gonna get into it.
Speaker 1: I won't talk any more about Rise of Skywalker, I swear,
Speaker 1: except that it was just like the most cowardly movie
Speaker 1: I ever to exist. But that's it.
Speaker 2: That's it. I'm done.
Speaker 1: I swear, okay, Mordecai can't tell them anything about it.
Speaker 1: He's just like, the first thing you just need to
Speaker 1: get out is the hostility, and once you do that,
Speaker 1: you can come back to me and I'll give you
Speaker 1: some more information. Donut coincidentally received a spell book of
Speaker 1: Heel Critter. I received yet another potion of determined value
Speaker 1: and a thousand gold coins. I wondered about that there
Speaker 1: seemed to be a reason why the system kept giving
Speaker 1: these things to me. I drank it down, and I
Speaker 1: had a new sort and I had a few new
Speaker 1: sort options for my inventory, including a new history tab.
Speaker 1: I would explore all that later. It didn't tell me
Speaker 1: the monetary value of my individual items. And this is
Speaker 1: something again bringing up Stardy Valley that I didn't realize.
Speaker 1: Like Stardi Valley, if you get advanced enough, you can
Speaker 1: get stuff that makes it so that you can see
Speaker 1: what things are worth from within your inventory. Otherwise, at
Speaker 1: the beginning of the game you have to go and
Speaker 1: try and sell it, and at the seller booth or
Speaker 1: stall or counter, then you can see what stuff is worth.
Speaker 1: My assumption about this is just that he has so
Speaker 1: much in his inventory that the game seems to think
Speaker 1: he is really going to be able to like do
Speaker 1: something with building money with this like that and the
Speaker 1: one thousand gold coins. I'm wondering if this is going to.
Speaker 2: Be his thing.
Speaker 1: Is like I'm appealing to foot fetishists and I am rich.
Speaker 1: That would be pretty good, could be worse. Right, I'm sorry, guys.
Speaker 1: Everybody in the chat is talking about the Rise of Skywalker,
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry, Michael. I knew from that moment
Speaker 1: the movie would suck somehow.
Speaker 2: The Emperor returned.
Speaker 1: And Missus saying, Rob Rob, I can't tell if it
Speaker 1: sucks or I'm still having an ongoing hallucination about it.
Speaker 1: I love Star Wars as a kid and a young adult,
Speaker 1: and that honestly is what killed it for me. Michael says,
Speaker 1: I liked Rayan Vince so much from the first movie.
Speaker 1: So disappointed with their character arcs, especially Finn's. I'm not
Speaker 1: doing it, guys, but just know it's costing me. Just
Speaker 1: be aware that I am hurting inside. I'm hurting inside
Speaker 1: and I'm not doing it. Okay, New Achievement didn't talk
Speaker 1: about the Rise of Skywalker.
Speaker 2: Reward.
Speaker 1: You don't have to hear me talk about Rise of skywalker,
Speaker 1: so he gets peta enthusiast. The ghost of Steve Irwin
Speaker 1: smiles down upon you. All Right, here we go, Mordecai says,
Speaker 1: here's the deal, and they're asking about race. You're gonna
Speaker 1: go down the stairs and you'll immediately find yourselves back
Speaker 1: in this room. You will first choose your race, then
Speaker 1: your class, and then you will distribute your stat points.
Speaker 2: From there.
Speaker 1: I will give you the information on class guilds, if applicable.
Speaker 1: Not all classes have guilds. How many choices will there
Speaker 1: be for race? A lot? It is unique every season,
Speaker 1: and that both of you will have a different pool
Speaker 1: of choices. I found that interesting that they each don't
Speaker 1: get access to all the same options as the other.
Speaker 1: The class choices will depend on your racial choice. You
Speaker 1: know how In every New Olympics they introduce a few
Speaker 1: new sports, usually ones associated with the host country. That's
Speaker 1: how it is with classes. The base classes will always
Speaker 1: be available fighter, mage, Rogue, Bard, Cleric, etc. But there
Speaker 1: will also be additional more specialized classes available, including New
Speaker 1: Earth specific classes. What does that mean though, Earth specific classes?
Speaker 2: I don't know yet.
Speaker 1: I won't see the list till you do, but you
Speaker 1: will have an incentive to pick one of these classes.
Speaker 1: They like it when crawlers pick the new classes because
Speaker 1: it's good for ratings. The system AI, the system AYI
Speaker 1: and not warrant will give you some recommendations. These recommendations
Speaker 1: are generally good. However, they do not take into account
Speaker 1: how these choices might affect your standing socially. So it
Speaker 1: might say it's best to turn into a rock monster,
Speaker 1: and I'd be badass, but also might tank my views exactly.
Speaker 1: I will also be allowed to offer limited advice. After
Speaker 1: class selection, your stat points will automatically distribute up to
Speaker 1: the race and class minimums, and you will be free
Speaker 1: to distribute the rest as you please. However, you Donut
Speaker 1: can't distribute stats because of your enhanced growth buff You'll
Speaker 1: want to find something that comes with a boost to
Speaker 1: constitution if you can. Got it, Got it, I said, Donut,
Speaker 1: grunted assent. I don't like the fact that the only
Speaker 1: one that said got it was Karl and that Donut
Speaker 1: just grunt because I think Donut is not going to
Speaker 1: pick a class that has a boost to constitution.
Speaker 2: I think Donut it's going to.
Speaker 1: See the high constitution is like a worm creature and
Speaker 1: she's going to be like, oh no, and frankly I
Speaker 1: would also be that way, so I can't even really
Speaker 1: be mad about it.
Speaker 2: But I am a little.
Speaker 1: What was your class? I know you chose changeling. I
Speaker 1: chose Arcanists, which allowed me to explore several different magic schools.
Speaker 1: Certain classes can further specialize when they hit the sixth floor.
Speaker 1: It was then I chose the fire path. I was
Speaker 1: a changeling, fire mage arcanist. It worked out well for me.
Speaker 1: I ended up a few levels behind people who went
Speaker 1: straight to fire magic, but I could still wield other
Speaker 1: magics without a big penalty.
Speaker 2: So you didn't pick one of.
Speaker 1: The special classes for your planet. I almost chose a
Speaker 1: skyfoul class, something called a storm Commander, but Odette talked
Speaker 1: me out of it. My brother ended up picking it
Speaker 1: instead on her recommendation. I paused my eyes, immediately moving
Speaker 1: to the framed photo on the shelf. He'd mentioned his
Speaker 1: brother a few times, but I hadn't realized he'd been
Speaker 1: a crawler. I'd assumed he'd been lost during the planet's
Speaker 1: initial collapse. Finally, there's the matter of the third floor itself,
Speaker 1: Mordecai said, making it perfectly clear he had no desire
Speaker 1: to go down that conversational path. I am so curious
Speaker 1: about this, like his deal with Odette, what happened. I
Speaker 1: can't tell if he is feeling like Odette gave them
Speaker 1: bad recommendation. She says later when they talked to her,
Speaker 1: I pushed him too hard, and that can mean a
Speaker 1: lot of things. You know, I don't know if he
Speaker 1: is the elder or the younger of you know him
Speaker 1: and his breath. There's just so many unanswered questions there.
Speaker 1: It feels pretty clear, though, like because it says I
Speaker 1: noticed for the first time he cleaned up his chambers.
Speaker 1: His bed was made, the shelves with the picture of
Speaker 1: his brother, and the urn of his mother had been
Speaker 1: straightened and dusted. So I think going into the third
Speaker 1: floor that like initially he was feeling rather hopeless about everything,
Speaker 1: and now that they are so high in popularity and
Speaker 1: they're making it to the third floor, that he is
Speaker 1: starting to get genuinely excited that he might be able
Speaker 1: to get out of this place. And so that's part
Speaker 1: of it, is like I'm going to put on a
Speaker 1: good face because I know more people are watching. I'm
Speaker 1: going to try a little bit harder, like with the
Speaker 1: overall taking care of my space and myself. And also
Speaker 1: I am starting to have hope for the first time
Speaker 1: in a minute, which I really really hate because I
Speaker 1: am kind of concerned this means it will not work
Speaker 1: out for him. Like I have a very bad feeling
Speaker 1: about where things go with Mordecai, and at this point
Speaker 1: I have grown to like him so much that seeing
Speaker 1: him get ripped off and exploited more than he has
Speaker 1: been is gonna be hard. I just fully expect this
Speaker 1: is gonna it's not gonna work out for him.
Speaker 2: And I don't know how, you know, Like.
Speaker 1: I know I said I wouldn't talk about Star Wars,
Speaker 1: but this is the television show.
Speaker 2: And Or.
Speaker 1: Spoilers for and Or. If you haven't seen and Or,
Speaker 1: please skip the next thirty seconds because you sh should
Speaker 1: go watch it, and I don't want to spoil you.
Speaker 1: So if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor
Speaker 1: jump ahead thirty seconds. If you have, then you're fine,
Speaker 1: But I beg you if you haven't, don't let me
Speaker 1: spoil you. Don't do that to yourself. You're only hurting yourself.
Speaker 1: But you guys know in and Or there is this
Speaker 1: point where people think they are getting let out of jail,
Speaker 1: and then somebody spots a person they know on another
Speaker 1: level and it turns out they're being transferred to different
Speaker 1: sections and the other inmates are being lied to that
Speaker 1: there's a way out, you can be released, and it
Speaker 1: turns out no, you can't. They just like instill this
Speaker 1: false hope. But really they're just shuffling people around.
Speaker 2: And that's kind of what I'm.
Speaker 1: Worried is happening here, is that he is being told,
Speaker 1: you know, as long as they get through the fourth floor,
Speaker 1: you'll get out, and that that doesn't happen. He's just
Speaker 1: going to be somewhere else. I don't know, you know,
Speaker 1: I hate this. I hate this feeling because I just
Speaker 1: there's just this dread in me, you know, so oh
Speaker 1: my god. Michael says, if Donut sees a class with
Speaker 1: a tiara and she's gonna pick it without a second thought,
Speaker 1: and Zeke says, or if it comes with the title
Speaker 1: like queen or empress one hundred percent, and that's miss
Speaker 1: t says, I wonder if the AI we use a
Speaker 1: legal word to make Donut more likely to pick it.
Speaker 1: That was also my feeling, like we have seen how
Speaker 1: much this stuff matters to her. As readers, we have
Speaker 1: gotten to know this about her. There's no way the
Speaker 1: AI doesn't also know it. And if the AI wants
Speaker 1: to tempt you in a certain direction, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: gonna know just what to appeal to in your personality.
Speaker 2: I really like, I'll.
Speaker 1: Be honest, guys, it's basically marketing, you know, Like the
Speaker 1: AI is gonna do marketing to get you to pick
Speaker 1: what it wants you to pick, for whatever reason it
Speaker 1: wants you to pick it. And I am so susceptible
Speaker 1: to marketing. I really am. And I know this about myself,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I would fall for it.
Speaker 2: I really would. Let's see.
Speaker 1: I prefer to explain it when you get there, because
Speaker 1: there's a lot to take in talking about the third floor.
Speaker 1: It's not something you need to worry about just yet.
Speaker 1: And at this point, Mongo has tried to attack Carl,
Speaker 1: so he gets teleported away and they have to go
Speaker 1: and find him because obviously he is a hostile to them,
Speaker 1: and his attempt to attack them is not seen well
Speaker 1: by the safe room, so she runs out looking for him.
Speaker 1: God damn it, donut, I cried, running after the cat,
Speaker 1: don't go out there alone.
Speaker 2: I do kind of enjoy.
Speaker 1: That he's saying god damn it donat again without really
Speaker 1: being concerned regarding it being his catchphrase anymore. It seems
Speaker 1: like he's just sort of over it and has decided
Speaker 1: to embrace it. And I love the idea of people
Speaker 1: out there playing drinking games where they're just like, take
Speaker 1: a shot every time he says goddamn it, Donut. We
Speaker 1: eventually found the thing huddled in the main hall, crying
Speaker 1: like a baby, squawking at the top of his little
Speaker 1: chicken lungs. There you are, You're going to get lost.
Speaker 1: Don't wonder like that, Donut cried, out of breath.
Speaker 2: The dinosaur looked up.
Speaker 1: The little shit looked like he'd been crying. His beady
Speaker 1: reptilian eyes grew giant when he saw us. He ran
Speaker 1: right to Donut, little arms out like a long lost
Speaker 1: puppy reuniting with his owner. It's okay, I'm here, mommy's here,
Speaker 1: Donut said. He rushed up and chomped her directly on
Speaker 1: the nose.
Speaker 2: Oh bless.
Speaker 1: We quickly learned that only one thing stopped the thing
Speaker 1: from trying to murder me In donut seeing another mob.
Speaker 1: If any sort of enemy came anywhere near us, the
Speaker 1: crazy chicken went absolutely ape shit. He screamed and snapped
Speaker 1: and tried to kill himself in an attempt to get
Speaker 1: to the creature. He was like a goddamn psychotic wolverine
Speaker 1: hopped up on bath salts. Other than his ability to
Speaker 1: inflict punishing nose chomps, the dinosaur chicken remained mostly harmless.
Speaker 1: I was afraid to let him near any mobs, even
Speaker 1: simple brindle grubs, in fear he'd get himself stomped. But
Speaker 1: in the end, that's exactly what we needed to do.
Speaker 1: It was the recap episode that gave me the clue.
Speaker 1: We were only on the program for a few short moments,
Speaker 1: but I learned something important. The four eyed, orange hued
Speaker 1: host of the show mentioned that Mango was a pack hunter.
Speaker 1: That gave me an idea. You need to show him
Speaker 1: how to kill it. I'm gonna let him free and
Speaker 1: you two kill it together. I gotta use my claws,
Speaker 1: don't I asked, yep, I said, She sighed, all right.
Speaker 1: Who knew being a mother would be this difficult? So
Speaker 1: Mango shoots out towards the level two brindle grub. Little
Speaker 1: dinosaur leaped into the air, slashing with his clawed feet
Speaker 1: and chomping down the health bar on the grub appeared,
Speaker 1: but it barely went down. Look, these guys are juicy
Speaker 1: on the inside, Doughnuts said, don't. There was no need
Speaker 1: for that, absolutely none. Do not say that ever again,
Speaker 1: ma'am Jesus Christ. She rolled the grub over and cut
Speaker 1: with her claw along its stomach like she was unzipping it.
Speaker 1: The grub shuddered and died, spilling white goo everywhere. Mongo
Speaker 1: shrieked with joy and began to vigorously devour the remains,
Speaker 1: filling himself up so much his stomach bulged. Afterwards, the
Speaker 1: little dinosaur puked on the floor and then ate that too.
Speaker 2: Good boy, good boy.
Speaker 1: Mango Doughnut cried, honestly, yeah, And then he stands on
Speaker 1: it and he peas well. I feel like that really
Speaker 1: says it all. Can you imagine, guys, if it was
Speaker 1: like a thing for us as human beings to piss
Speaker 1: on a meal after we ate it, Like we just
Speaker 1: have our empty plate on the table and we just
Speaker 1: like climb up on the table and chili's and just
Speaker 1: piss on our plate, just to be like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: did that wild.
Speaker 2: So Mongo, he.
Speaker 1: Has taken direction and he manages to kill the second grub,
Speaker 1: just slicing it open with one foot, and then is
Speaker 1: immediately like, oh, I did it, I did it. Yay.
Speaker 1: By the time he'd finished all three grubs, Mango's dot
Speaker 1: turned from red to white. He still wasn't bonded, but
Speaker 1: he no longer attacked us. Actually that wasn't true. He's
Speaker 1: still attacked, but not as much. We didn't need the
Speaker 1: cage anymore. He followed us on foot, sometimes running ahead,
Speaker 1: sometimes hopping sideways and lagging behind. If we approached an
Speaker 1: unknown mob, I had to stick him in back. I
Speaker 1: had to stick him back in the cage. However, he
Speaker 1: did not like that one bit. Despite killing a dozen grubs,
Speaker 1: he remained at level one. So they bring him back
Speaker 1: to Mordecai and he's like, you're on the right track,
Speaker 1: but the bad news is you need to hurry because
Speaker 1: if he isn't bonded by the time the floor collapses,
Speaker 1: he can't come with you. And then Carl ask can
Speaker 1: we have more than one pet? And Mordecai's like long
Speaker 1: answer is like short answer no, but long answer is
Speaker 1: there are lots and lots of potential exceptions, and yes,
Speaker 1: you really can. It just always depends on the circumstances.
Speaker 1: We find out about a woman who brought fifteen goats
Speaker 1: with her and she's still alive and so are the goats,
Speaker 1: and I really want to hear more about that. I
Speaker 1: don't know why she isn't on the feeds more because
Speaker 1: that sounds very entertaining. Guys, I worked at a goat
Speaker 1: farm for one summer, about three months, and that shit
Speaker 1: was one of the best times of my life. Goats
Speaker 1: are bonkers creatures. I don't even know, like I've just
Speaker 1: they're weird and I really love them, and I want
Speaker 1: to know a lot more about this woman. So Mordecai
Speaker 1: explains mobs that start out as pet class will always
Speaker 1: be level one, regardless of what they usually are, and
Speaker 1: they'll stay level one till they're bonded. Only then will
Speaker 1: they start to level. Once they do start gaining experience,
Speaker 1: they will grow rapidly. He'll get physically more mature each
Speaker 1: level up. And Carl Asks is fifteen as high a
Speaker 1: level as he can get, and Mordecai is like, oh,
Speaker 1: not even close, but he just won't get bigger. How
Speaker 1: big will they get? I can't tell you, but that
Speaker 1: little cage isn't gonna work for much longer. You need
Speaker 1: to do more than just bond. You need to teach
Speaker 1: him restraint or he is going to die and he
Speaker 1: might just take you down with him if he aggravates
Speaker 1: the wrong mob and any attempt at stealth is out
Speaker 1: the window until he learns to behave himself. I this
Speaker 1: is gonna be very interesting training an animal.
Speaker 2: It's like, there's no.
Speaker 1: Direct Every animal is very, very different and they're motivated
Speaker 1: by very different things. This is something I learned just
Speaker 1: having the puppies and all of their different personalities, and
Speaker 1: some of them responded so well to getting a treat.
Speaker 1: They wanted food and that was enough to get them
Speaker 1: to live to you and do anything. And then Pippin
Speaker 1: it's like, and I've heard that especially with like a
Speaker 1: husky mix, they are less receptive to training. But yeah,
Speaker 1: like food can get him, but he also will ignore
Speaker 1: it until he's fucking ready, and it's infuriating. So I'm
Speaker 1: really curious to see how they try and pet or
Speaker 1: how they try and train this pet, because it's uh
Speaker 1: it requires the kind of patience and like consistency especially.
Speaker 1: That is the exact thing I'm bad at as somebody
Speaker 1: with ADHD, and I'm trying, I really am. And he's
Speaker 1: gotten a lot better with recall and stuff, you know,
Speaker 1: because we'll take him on trails, off leash sometimes. Then
Speaker 1: I call him back and he's gotten much better at
Speaker 1: immediately coming back to me because I use very good treats.
Speaker 1: But it's taken a while, you know, So he gets
Speaker 1: teleported out again and they have to go and find him.
Speaker 1: We spent the next several hours trying to train him
Speaker 1: with dog commands attack, come, and lie down worked really well.
Speaker 1: Stay was another story. Donut was surprisingly patient, and so
Speaker 1: he is extremely food motivated. That is really ideal. If
Speaker 1: you're trying to like train an animal and they are
Speaker 1: not food motivated, good fucking luck. Everything else is such
Speaker 1: a bigger pain in the ass, you know. After a
Speaker 1: full day, we managed to keep him from just outright charging.
Speaker 1: He'd snarl and squawk and hop up and down, but
Speaker 1: he wouldn't plunge head first until Donut said the command,
Speaker 1: which had somehow evolved from attack to sick em. When
Speaker 1: the timer was down to ten hours, we had to
Speaker 1: start carving our way toward the stairwell. We didn't have
Speaker 1: a choice. Mongo still hadn't officially bonded with Donut, and
Speaker 1: I was getting pretty worried it wasn't going to happen.
Speaker 1: So finally they let him participate in the fights. In
Speaker 1: the hallway just outside the stair chamber, the same hallway
Speaker 1: we'd run through a few days earlier. Mongo rushed him
Speaker 1: to finish off a horn monster. The vespa grabbed at
Speaker 1: Mongo with his human like hand, capturing him. The mab
Speaker 1: had been mostly dead, but not dead enough. It lifted
Speaker 1: the screaming and struggling chicken into the air and moved
Speaker 1: to toss him into its enormous toothed mouth.
Speaker 2: Put Mango down.
Speaker 1: Doughnuts screamed, flying across the hallway and slashing at the bug.
Speaker 1: I'd never seen her move that fast. She decapitated the
Speaker 1: monster with a quick slash, and all three of them
Speaker 1: fell into a heap on the ground. Karl, Carl, something happened,
Speaker 1: Doughnut said. A minute later, I see that it finally worked. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: On the mini map, Mongo's dot had turned from white
Speaker 1: to orangeh Wait, I can officially name him. Now, I
Speaker 1: have a new menu and everything. Mongo the mongoliansis Level
Speaker 1: one pet of Grand Champion Best in Dungeon. Princess Donut
Speaker 1: has joined the party. Mongo's title has been changed to
Speaker 1: Royal Steed. We did it, We teamed Mongo. Mongo also
Speaker 1: jumped up and down next to the cat. He squawked
Speaker 1: with delight, waving his little arms, and then he bit
Speaker 1: Donut right on the nose.
Speaker 2: I love it so much.
Speaker 1: I really do this vibe too, of like immediately jumping
Speaker 1: in when she wasn't gonna do it again. Really, if
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do something for myself, I am so reticent.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be a fuss. If it's on
Speaker 2: somebody else's behalf, I will be.
Speaker 1: The biggest bitch you ever came across. And it's just
Speaker 1: really weird how I feel like a completely different person
Speaker 1: on somebody else's behalf For me, I'll be fine.
Speaker 2: I don't need to.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to send it back. I know it's
Speaker 1: practically raw in the middle, but I'll just eat the
Speaker 1: outside of it somebody else. I'm like, do you see
Speaker 1: what you fucking gave her? And I can't help that
Speaker 1: I just that's you know so clearly?
Speaker 2: How me and Donut.
Speaker 1: So the next section of this chapter Carl's thinking about
Speaker 1: the following floor and that time we'd caught Mordecai unaware
Speaker 1: he'd been drunk, holding onto that framed picture. This game,
Speaker 1: this terrible, cruel game, left scars that spanned centuries. I
Speaker 1: thought of the cheering crowds watching this all from the
Speaker 1: safety of their homes. You will not break me. Fuck
Speaker 1: you all, you will not break me. As we waited
Speaker 1: for the timer to hit six hours, I thought back
Speaker 1: to that odd boss prize I received. I would have
Speaker 1: thought that defeating the boss in such a manner would
Speaker 1: have garnered me a better prize. The dungeon AI wasn't
Speaker 1: my friend, it wasn't on my side. I knew that,
Speaker 1: but surely I should have gained something good. I now
Speaker 1: had a tab labeled History. I clicked on it, and
Speaker 1: it was filled with pretty much the same junk I
Speaker 1: had now, but with the chopper and a few extra
Speaker 1: potions and scrolls and bits of things I'd use to
Speaker 1: build other items. Curious, I clicked to sort it by value.
Speaker 1: I practically choked. Listed at the very top of my
Speaker 1: menu were three items I'd never seen before. I clicked
Speaker 1: over to make sure I didn't have them. Now I didn't.
Speaker 1: What the actual hell was this? Some sort of bug
Speaker 1: trans Tunnel seven c orator relay by Valtae Corp Inter
Speaker 1: Tunnel communication device Valtae Perso Shield Platinum Edition Tech based
Speaker 1: Personal shield mag thirty forty Valtae Corp Pulse Pistol Tech
Speaker 1: based weapon. The first item had a red exclamation point
Speaker 1: next to it.
Speaker 2: A warning popped up.
Speaker 1: The system AI governing this program has deemed all non
Speaker 1: sanctioned and monitored communication device is illegal and will not
Speaker 1: work within the dungeon. You may own and sell, but
Speaker 1: any attempt to use will result in immediate disqualification. And
Speaker 1: then here comes Agatha, and all of a sudden it
Speaker 1: comes together. The cart when he put it in his inventory,
Speaker 1: registered these items, and he does not have them anymore
Speaker 1: because he gave her the cart back, which means Agatha
Speaker 1: is in possession of a bunch of stuff. And she
Speaker 1: is the one who lit the fire that got everybody
Speaker 1: out of the building, which means this bitch is in
Speaker 1: on this somehow, she herself is an alien or she
Speaker 1: has been abducted. At one point and knows some stuff
Speaker 1: or God knows, And I think she lit that fire
Speaker 1: on purpose to get everybody out of the building to
Speaker 1: try and save their lives. And I think that she
Speaker 1: went down into the hall to demonstrate that it was
Speaker 1: safe for them all to go on their wheelchairs and everything.
Speaker 2: And I think that maybe.
Speaker 1: She is like not really supposed to be here for
Speaker 1: some reason, and that's why they are editing her out
Speaker 1: of the footage, because something about her is not in
Speaker 1: line with the way the game is supposed to be perceived,
Speaker 1: that she has like gotten here.
Speaker 2: By stealth or by accident, I don't know.
Speaker 1: So she turns up out of nowhere, and he has
Speaker 1: the moment of like, that's a weird coincidence that she
Speaker 1: pops up as soon as I see this stuff, which
Speaker 1: it is a weird coincidence. And I'm wondering if the
Speaker 1: AI is like trying to get him to put the
Speaker 1: pieces together, if it's like you know, or if she
Speaker 1: is aware that he's seeing these items and that.
Speaker 2: Somehow draws her to him. I don't know.
Speaker 1: And he says, you should wait ten minutes because she's
Speaker 1: about to go down the stairs to the third floor.
Speaker 1: If you go down now you lose six hours plus.
Speaker 1: I need to talk to you about that shopping cart.
Speaker 1: I can fix the wheel, I quickly added, because she
Speaker 1: looks at him and it's very clear like he should
Speaker 1: not say anything, and he says it's squeaking. They can
Speaker 1: hear you coming. No need to fix my squeak. Boy.
Speaker 1: Them critters already know I'm here. They just don't know
Speaker 1: what to do about it. You worry about you, and
Speaker 1: I worry about me, which I think the critters know.
Speaker 1: Him here is about more than just like the mobs,
Speaker 1: and they don't know what to do about it, is
Speaker 1: about boring.
Speaker 2: Something's up with her.
Speaker 1: I don't know if she's a creature or what, but
Speaker 1: because you know, there are humans from other planets as
Speaker 1: we have heard, so she just might not originally be
Speaker 1: from Earth. And uh, then we get a message from
Speaker 1: zem or Zev. Sorry false alarm, I see you now.
Speaker 1: There was a brief outage in the feed.
Speaker 2: It happened sometimes.
Speaker 1: Oh really, there was an outage when she just rolled up.
Speaker 1: Is she creating the atage or are they just not
Speaker 1: wanting anybody to see her? Is that?
Speaker 2: Are they covering this for some reason? I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's been acting funky all day. Don't worry, It's nothing unusual.
Speaker 1: People are always complaining about it. I'm on planet and
Speaker 1: I still have feed issues. Christ I thought, what sort
Speaker 1: of bullshit was this? A week and a half ago,
Speaker 1: I've been planning on kidnapping a prize winning cat and
Speaker 1: then selling everything I owned in order to bribe my
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend to keep her from suing me. And even
Speaker 1: that was more drama than I'd ever wanted to deal with.
Speaker 1: All of this, with a skull empire and everything else,
Speaker 1: it was just too much, too fast. How could we
Speaker 1: focus on surviving when we had all this other stuff
Speaker 1: to deal with. Come on, Donut, let's see what this
Speaker 1: third floor is all about. Do you think it'll be
Speaker 1: as exciting as the second floor? She asked, God, I
Speaker 1: hope not, I said.
Speaker 2: Mongo screeched. Epilogue.
Speaker 1: You do realize that thing is going to get you killed, right,
Speaker 1: Odette asked after the conclusion of her show. Donut was
Speaker 1: currently chasing Mongo around the studio. The little dinosaur kept
Speaker 1: running head first into the invisible wall and screaming. Lexis
Speaker 1: Odek's production assistant had given the small monster a bow
Speaker 1: tie to wear on the show, and he'd practically bitten
Speaker 1: off her finger. The tie had lasted about three seconds
Speaker 1: before he'd ripped it off. The taping had gone well.
Speaker 1: We'd started off by discussing the whole thing with the
Speaker 1: Rage Elemental.
Speaker 2: Then Mongo.
Speaker 1: Odette had mentioned something about a magical pet carrier, which
Speaker 1: apparently was the Dungeon's equivalent of a poke ball. They
Speaker 1: were supposedly expensive, but it would allow us to put
Speaker 1: bonded pets into inventory without harming them. I didn't care
Speaker 1: how much they cost. If we could afford it, it
Speaker 1: was going to be our first purchase. No more shoving
Speaker 1: Mango in the gerbil cage and then sticking him in
Speaker 1: the bathroom so we couldn't hear his shrieks while we slept.
Speaker 1: I'd known what was coming next. After the segment on Longo,
Speaker 1: I'd finally gotten to see a shortened version of the
Speaker 1: infamous pork Boy Snick. The mysterious creator had been very
Speaker 1: generous with my proportions. I've been half expecting the video
Speaker 1: to feature my feet. I didn't say it out loud,
Speaker 1: but I had a strange notion the system AI might
Speaker 1: have had something to do with the video. But if
Speaker 1: it did, the video showed nothing to indicate it. In fact,
Speaker 1: it had clearly been produced by someone more interested in
Speaker 1: the Maestro than me, as he was the obvious subject
Speaker 1: of the video. I'm kind of wondering if this is
Speaker 1: boring or the party, like, if he was given permission
Speaker 1: to be an asshole because of this rivalry, why wouldn't
Speaker 1: they just like hop on that, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: that would be a pretty smart move.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 1: And the show Deathwatch Extreme Dungeon Mayhem has gone on hiatus.
Speaker 1: King Rust has been quiet. A spokesperson for the royal
Speaker 1: family has requested people stop referring to the princess as
Speaker 1: Carl's naughty little piggy, but so far nobody seems to
Speaker 1: be complying. I would personally like to assure King Rust
Speaker 1: I would never call Maestro Carl's naughty little piggy or
Speaker 1: poor boy, and I would like to encourage my audience
Speaker 1: to never sink to that level. Again, It's Prince Maestro
Speaker 1: and not she held her hands out Carl's naughty little
Speaker 1: pay The audience shouted, followed by peals of laughter. This is.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's problematic. Oh well, and Carl makes it clear.
Speaker 1: I did not fuck him. If I were gonna fuck
Speaker 1: a dude, I wouldn't fuck him. You did challenge him
Speaker 1: to single combat, Yes, I did, and that offer still stands.
Speaker 1: I still don't know how any of this stuff worked,
Speaker 1: because you guys won't tell me anything, but I hope
Speaker 1: for the chance to face.
Speaker 2: Him one on one. Glurp, glurp.
Speaker 1: The whole audience was glurping. Odette shook her head in
Speaker 1: mock disgust. So Odette explains that the tummy acre is
Speaker 1: the thing that they really should have taken, because they're friendly,
Speaker 1: they're easy to work with, and they're rare and people
Speaker 1: like them and they're a very good melee creature. But
Speaker 1: Mongo's a good choice. He's a vicious fighter. This is
Speaker 1: when Mordecai comes up, and she just says, short answer
Speaker 1: is I pushed him too hard and he paid dearly
Speaker 1: for it. Anyway, you're about to hit the all important
Speaker 1: third floor.
Speaker 2: Do you really not know what you're gonna do?
Speaker 1: I don't even know what choices are gonna be. And
Speaker 1: she says, whatever you choose, make sure it has a
Speaker 1: pathfinder or mapping ability, because finding stairwells is going to
Speaker 1: be crucial. Also make sure Donut goes first. That way
Speaker 1: you can tailor your class selection on hers. I would
Speaker 1: ignore the AI's advice on race, but take a careful
Speaker 1: look at what it suggest for class. He brings up
Speaker 1: the Valtae Corporation, and she's sort of weird about it,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, hey, you know, if they're trying
Speaker 1: to talk to you, just be really careful about how
Speaker 1: you handle it. They're a parasitic life form. They do
Speaker 1: utilize human bodies, but their home world is aquatic and
Speaker 1: they much prefer water based hosts. So maybe something has
Speaker 1: taken over Agatha, or maybe she had been taken over
Speaker 1: at one time and she remembers I don't know. And
Speaker 1: this is when we find out that he is a
Speaker 1: that Mango is a velociraptor. There's one last piece of
Speaker 1: advice I'd like to give you. It's just a suggestion.
Speaker 1: I don't know if morally this is a good idea
Speaker 1: or not, but this will greatly increase your chances of survival.
Speaker 1: It's something to look for during class selection. It's generally
Speaker 1: only offered to crawlers with high charisma, so if it's available,
Speaker 1: it'll be hidden somewhere amongst donuts choices.
Speaker 2: The problem is if you.
Speaker 1: Pick it, it's going to make someone very angry. And
Speaker 1: that is the end of the book. I am so curious.
Speaker 1: I really don't know whether or not this is the
Speaker 1: sort of thing that, like I should be able to
Speaker 1: guess from the context of what we have read so far,
Speaker 1: or if this is the kind of thing that, like
Speaker 1: I would need all kinds of other information in order
Speaker 1: to make any sort of guess. You know, because the
Speaker 1: way that she says it's going to make somebody very angry,
Speaker 1: it sounds like there's a different backstory that we don't
Speaker 1: know about yet. And I don't know if it's like
Speaker 1: because my first instinct was like, maybe you could choose
Speaker 1: the type of creature that Maestro is. But I don't
Speaker 1: feel like it would end so abruptly there without telling
Speaker 1: us if it were something that's that relevant to what
Speaker 1: we've already read.
Speaker 2: So I don't know, And then we get the end.
Speaker 2: It's over. Yo. New achievement. You read a book. You
Speaker 2: managed to make it all the way through.
Speaker 1: Dungeon Crawler Carl book without throwing against the wall. Reward
Speaker 1: you get to read the next book and great news, folks.
Speaker 1: The next book has clowns and dead hookers in it.
Speaker 1: Here goes a joke that I'm very like, Okay, enough,
Speaker 1: edge Lord, can we just not do like hooker jokes.
Speaker 2: That's all I'm asking.
Speaker 1: They're people, they're people. Just you know, it's fine whatever.
Speaker 1: I just yeah, this is you guys.
Speaker 2: You get it. You get it.
Speaker 1: So the next book, Dungeon Crawler Carl Book two, Carl's
Speaker 1: doomsday scenario is already almost in its entirety commissioned. But
Speaker 1: there is a space between this book and that book
Speaker 1: because I was commissioned to cover Spinning Silver before Michael
Speaker 1: knew if I was going to like Dungeon Crawler Carl.
Speaker 1: So little break Spinning Silver, and then we're getting into
Speaker 1: the second Dungeon Crawler book. So just a heads up, everybody,
Speaker 1: there's a break. It's about a month break, and I
Speaker 1: know y'all are going to miss me terribly, but I
Speaker 1: hope that you will be there for the second book.
Speaker 1: And thank you Michael for commissioning it, thanking everybody for
Speaker 1: being here in the chat. Appreciate you all, and until
Speaker 1: next time to the lou motherfuckers.
Speaker 2: That was an unspoiled network podcast