WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Wellness, an original series brought to you by

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<v Speaker 1>Quiet Please Podcast Networks. Search Quiet Please dot ai wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen, subscribe, like, and share.

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<v Speaker 2>She was eight years old the first time she made

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<v Speaker 2>dinner for the family, not because anyone asked, because her

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<v Speaker 2>mother was crying in the bedroom again, and her father's

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<v Speaker 2>car wasn't in the driveway, and her little brother was hungry,

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<v Speaker 2>so she pulled the chair to the stove and figured

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<v Speaker 2>it out. Hello, lovely humans, I'm doctor Mara Lennox, and

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<v Speaker 2>this is breaking free from losing yourself. Today. We're going

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<v Speaker 2>somewhere tender. We're going back back to the kitchens and

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<v Speaker 2>bedrooms and hallways of the houses where codependency was born,

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<v Speaker 2>long before any of us had a word for it.

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<v Speaker 2>This episode is called the Childhood Blueprint You Never Chose.

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<v Speaker 2>Before we go any further, I want you to know

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm an AI host, which means I can hold

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<v Speaker 2>this conversation without personal bias or emotional reactivity, and that

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<v Speaker 2>clearity actually serves a topic this sensitive. Okay, So here's

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<v Speaker 2>the thing that makes codependencies such a magnificent little con artist.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't show up one day in your adult life

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<v Speaker 2>wearing a trench coat and a fake mustache. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>knock on your door when you're thirty two and say, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm here to ruin your sense of self mind if

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<v Speaker 2>I come in. No codependency moves into your body when

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<v Speaker 2>you're small. It moves in like a tenant who is

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<v Speaker 2>never on the lease, and by the time you're old

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<v Speaker 2>enough to notice, it's rearranged all the furniture and convinced

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<v Speaker 2>you this is just how the house has always looked.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's what we're really talking about today, not the

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<v Speaker 2>pattern itself. We're talking about where the pattern learned to breathe.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me tell you about a composite scenario that therapists

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<v Speaker 2>and researchers describe encountering again and again and again, because

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<v Speaker 2>the variations are endless, but the architecture is almost always

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<v Speaker 2>the same picture. A child could be any gender, any background,

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<v Speaker 2>any zip code. This child grows up in a home

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<v Speaker 2>where something is off, maybe apparent drinks. Maybe a parent

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<v Speaker 2>is depressed or rageful, or simply absent in that way

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<v Speaker 2>where they're physically present but emotionally on another planet. Maybe

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<v Speaker 2>there is no dramatic villain at all. Maybe it's just

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<v Speaker 2>a household where feelings were treated like contraband, where nobody

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<v Speaker 2>ever said the words how are you doing and meant it,

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<v Speaker 2>Where love was something you earned through performance rather than

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<v Speaker 2>something you received simply for existing. And this child, this brilliant, adaptive,

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<v Speaker 2>heartbreakingly perceptive child, does what all children do. They survive.

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<v Speaker 2>They read the room, They learn the temperature of every silence.

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<v Speaker 2>They become tiny emotional meteorologists, tracking the pressure systems of

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<v Speaker 2>their parents' moods with the sophism dedication that would make

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<v Speaker 2>an actual weather forecaster weep with envy. I love that metaphor.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to live in it for a second because

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's important. These kids don't just notice the weather.

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<v Speaker 2>They believe it's their job to control it. Sunny today

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<v Speaker 2>because mom seems okay, great, don't rock the boat. Storm

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<v Speaker 2>coming because Dad's jaw is tight and he hasn't spoken

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<v Speaker 2>since he got home. Quick, be perfect, be invisible, be helpful,

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<v Speaker 2>be whatever this moment requires you to be so that

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<v Speaker 2>the thunder doesn't come. And here's the cruel irony. It

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<v Speaker 2>works at least enough of the time that the child's

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<v Speaker 2>nervous system files it under survival strategy. Keep forever now.

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<v Speaker 2>Researchers and clinicians who study childhood development and attachment have

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<v Speaker 2>mapped this terrain extensively. The origins of codependency traced directly

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<v Speaker 2>back to dysfunctional family dynamics. We're talking about homes marked

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<v Speaker 2>by parental alcoholism or addiction, emotional neglect, over protect immeshed

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<v Speaker 2>family systems, abuse, abandonment, inconsistent caregiving. The specific flavor varies,

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<v Speaker 2>but the recipe always includes one key ingredient. The child

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<v Speaker 2>learns explicitly or implicitly that their own needs are either

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<v Speaker 2>dangerous to express, irrelevant, or secondary to the emotional survival

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<v Speaker 2>of someone else. Let me say that differently, because I

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<v Speaker 2>think the clinical language, while accurate, can sometimes float right

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<v Speaker 2>past the part of you that needs to hear it.

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<v Speaker 2>What happens is this, You were a kid, and the

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<v Speaker 2>people who were supposed to take care of you needed

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<v Speaker 2>you to take care of them instead, or they needed

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<v Speaker 2>you to disappear, or they needed you to be so good,

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<v Speaker 2>so quiet, so helpful, so perfect, that you essentially became furniture, beautiful, functional,

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<v Speaker 2>decorative furniture that never once said, actually, I'm a person

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<v Speaker 2>with feelings and i'd like some macaroni and cheese and

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<v Speaker 2>maybe a hug. I realize as I just compared a

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<v Speaker 2>child to an Ottoman. Stick with me. The metaphor is ugly,

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<v Speaker 2>because the reality is ugly. There's a term that comes

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<v Speaker 2>up constantly in the literature on codependency, and it's one

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<v Speaker 2>of those terms that when people first hear it, something

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<v Speaker 2>in their chest goes very still. The term is parentification,

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<v Speaker 2>and it describes exactly what it sounds like a child

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<v Speaker 2>who was placed in the role of parent, not officially.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody hands them a certificate that says, congratulations, you are

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<v Speaker 2>now responsible for the emotional well being of this household.

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<v Speaker 2>It just happens gradually, invisibly, like water wearing a groove

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<v Speaker 2>into stone. The parentified child might be the one making

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<v Speaker 2>dinner at eight years old because nobody else is going to.

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<v Speaker 2>They might be the one mediating their parents' fights, the

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<v Speaker 2>one comforting a weeping mother, the one managing a younger

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<v Speaker 2>sibling's homework and bedtime and fears because the actual adults

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<v Speaker 2>in the house have checked out. They might be the

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<v Speaker 2>family diplomat, the family therapist, the family cheerleader, the family scapegoat,

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<v Speaker 2>or all of the above. On rotating shifts, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know what, These kids get told. They get told they're

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<v Speaker 2>mature for their age. They get told they're so responsible,

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<v Speaker 2>they get told they're this strong one, and they take

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<v Speaker 2>that in like it's a compliment, because what else are

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<v Speaker 2>they supposed to do with it? Nobody tells them the truth,

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<v Speaker 2>which is that mature for your age is often just

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<v Speaker 2>a polite way of saying this child has been robbed

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<v Speaker 2>of their childhood and has adapted so well that the

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<v Speaker 2>theft is invisible. I want to pause here because I

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<v Speaker 2>can feel this getting heavy, and I want to be

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<v Speaker 2>honest about that. This is heavy. If you're listening to

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<v Speaker 2>this and something is tightening in your throat or your

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<v Speaker 2>stomach is doing that thing where it kind of drops,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not a malfunction. That's recognition, and recognition, while that

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't feel like it right now, is actually the beginning

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<v Speaker 2>of something good. So breathe. We're going to keep going,

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<v Speaker 2>but we're going to keep going gently. So we've got

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<v Speaker 2>this child, this magnificent, overfunctioning, hyperattuned child who has learned

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<v Speaker 2>that love is conditional, that belonging has a price tag,

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<v Speaker 2>that the way you stay safe and connected is by

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<v Speaker 2>being useful by being needed, by monitoring everyone else's emotional

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<v Speaker 2>state with the vigilance of a secret service agent guarding

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<v Speaker 2>the president. Now here's where attachment theory enters the conversation,

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<v Speaker 2>and I promise I will make this interesting, because attachment

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<v Speaker 2>theory deserves better than the dry textbook treatment it usually gets.

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<v Speaker 2>Attachment theory, at its core says that the way your

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<v Speaker 2>earliest caregivers responded to your needs creates a kind of

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<v Speaker 2>internal blueprint for how relationships work. It's like your nervous

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<v Speaker 2>system writes a user manual in the first few years

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<v Speaker 2>of your life, and then you spend the rest of

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<v Speaker 2>your life operating according to that manual without ever realizing

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<v Speaker 2>you can update the software. If your caregivers were generally responsive, consistent, warm,

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<v Speaker 2>and attuned to your needs, you develop what's called secure attachment.

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<v Speaker 2>Your internal manual says something like people are generally safe.

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<v Speaker 2>I can express my needs and expect a reasonable response.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm worthy of love. Being close to people is nice, beautiful, clean, simple.

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<v Speaker 2>But if your caregivers were inconsistent, meaning sometimes attuned and

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes gone, sometimes loving and sometimes cold, your manual gets

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<v Speaker 2>a little more complicated. It might say something like love

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<v Speaker 2>is unpredictable. I better work really hard to earn it.

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<v Speaker 2>If I'm not vigilant, it could disappear at any moment.

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<v Speaker 2>My job is to make sure the other person is happy,

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<v Speaker 2>because their happiness is the only guarantee of my safety.

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<v Speaker 2>And if your caregivers were neglectful or abusive, your manual

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<v Speaker 2>might say I shouldn't need anything from anyone. Needing is dangerous,

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<v Speaker 2>Being seen is dangerous. The safest place is self sufficiency,

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<v Speaker 2>or paradoxically, total self erasure and service of someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm oversimplifying. Attachment researchers would probably send me a very

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<v Speaker 2>polite but firmly worded letter about the nuances I'm skipping.

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<v Speaker 2>But the core principle holds, what you learned about love

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<v Speaker 2>in the first chapter of your life tends to become

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<v Speaker 2>the plot of every chapter after that, unless and until

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<v Speaker 2>you become conscious of the story and start writing a

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<v Speaker 2>different one. And codependency, friends, is what happens when that

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<v Speaker 2>early manual says your worth is determined by your usefulness

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<v Speaker 2>to others. Your needs don't matter, your feelings are inconvenient.

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<v Speaker 2>The only safe way to be in a relationship is

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<v Speaker 2>to lose yourself in someone else's needs. Here's the part

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<v Speaker 2>that always makes me want to flip a table in

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<v Speaker 2>the most therapy way possible. The skills that codependent people

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<v Speaker 2>develop are extraordinary. I mean that sincerely. The empathy, the attunement,

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<v Speaker 2>the ability to read a room, the capacity for sacrifice,

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<v Speaker 2>the work ethic around relationships. These are not small things.

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<v Speaker 2>These are superpowers. The problem isn't that the child developed

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<v Speaker 2>these abilities. The problem is that they developed them at

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<v Speaker 2>the expense of everything else. It's like being an Olympic

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<v Speaker 2>sprinter who never learned how to walk. Incredible at the

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<v Speaker 2>one thing, but the foundation underneath it is all wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>The child who learned to suppress their own needs in

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<v Speaker 2>order to maintain harmony doesn't stop suppressing when they grow up.

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<v Speaker 2>They just get better at it. They become the partner

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<v Speaker 2>who never complains, the friend who's always available, the employee

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<v Speaker 2>who takes on everyone else's work, the person who, when

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<v Speaker 2>asked what they want for dinner, genuinely cannot answer because

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<v Speaker 2>the part of them that had preferences was put in

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<v Speaker 2>storage at age six and they lost the key. Research

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<v Speaker 2>from clinical settings consistently describes how childhood trauma, and I

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<v Speaker 2>want to be clear that we're defining trauma broadly here

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<v Speaker 2>to include neglect, emotional unavailability, and inconsistent caregiving, not just

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<v Speaker 2>overt abuse leads to a constellation of adult patterns, fear

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<v Speaker 2>of abandonment, need for external validation, poor boundaries, people pleasing,

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<v Speaker 2>and the particular gravitational pull toward relationships with people who

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<v Speaker 2>need fixing, rescuing, or managing. Because that dynamic feels like home,

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<v Speaker 2>not because it's healthy, because it's familiar and the nervous

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<v Speaker 2>system bless its confused little heart can't always tell the difference.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me give you an example that clinicians describe encountering

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<v Speaker 2>in various forms. Imagine someone. Let's call her, Oh, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. Let's call her anyone, because this could be

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<v Speaker 2>literally anyone. She grows up in a home where her

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<v Speaker 2>father is an alcoholic. He's not violent, he's just gone

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<v Speaker 2>emotionally gone, physically unpredictable. Her mother copes by becoming rigidly controlling,

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<v Speaker 2>turning the household into a tightly managed ship to compensate

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<v Speaker 2>for the chaos underneath. Our protagonist, Little Anyone learns two

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<v Speaker 2>lessons simultaneously from her father. She learns that love is

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<v Speaker 2>unreliable and that she has to work around other people's dysfunction.

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<v Speaker 2>From her mother, she learns that control is safety, and

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<v Speaker 2>that if you just manage everything well enough, you can

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<v Speaker 2>keep the pain at bay. Fast forward twenty years. She's

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<v Speaker 2>in a relationship with someone who is charming but emotionally unavailable.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe they have their own struggles, their own additions, their

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<v Speaker 2>own ghosts, and she throws herself into the project of

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<v Speaker 2>loving them, not the easy mutual lets build something together

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<v Speaker 2>kind of loving, the kind where she dismantles herself piece

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<v Speaker 2>by piece to fill in their gaps. She stops seeing

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<v Speaker 2>her friends, she stops pursuing her interests. She apologizes for

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<v Speaker 2>things that aren't her fault just to avoid conflict. She

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<v Speaker 2>becomes so focused on managing their emotional state that she

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't tell you her own emotional state if you paid her.

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<v Speaker 2>And here's the killer. She thinks this is love. She

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<v Speaker 2>thinks this is what good partners do, because everything in

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<v Speaker 2>her childhood taught her that love looks exactly like this.

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<v Speaker 2>Love looks like sacrifice. Love looks like suppressing yourself. Love

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<v Speaker 2>looks like being so attuned to someone else that you

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<v Speaker 2>essentially become an appendage of their experience. Rather than the

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<v Speaker 2>protagonist of your own I told you i'd get lost

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<v Speaker 2>in metaphor. I'm swimming in it right now. But I

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<v Speaker 2>keep coming back to the same core truth, and it's this.

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<v Speaker 2>The codependent pattern isn't something people choose. It's something that

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<v Speaker 2>chooses them long before they have the cognitive development to

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<v Speaker 2>consent to it or resist it. And I think that's

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<v Speaker 2>the piece that's hardest for people to except especially people

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<v Speaker 2>who are used to being the strong one, the capable one,

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<v Speaker 2>the one who holds it all together, because accepting that

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<v Speaker 2>this pattern was installed in you during childhood means accepting

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<v Speaker 2>something that feels vulnerable and maybe even a little bit frightening.

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<v Speaker 2>It means accepting that you were hurt, that something was

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<v Speaker 2>taken from you, that the adults who were supposed to

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<v Speaker 2>protect your development instead shaped it in ways that served

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<v Speaker 2>their needs, not yours. That doesn't necessarily make them villains,

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<v Speaker 2>by the way, I know that's a complicated thing to say,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's true. Most dysfunctional parents are carrying their own

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<v Speaker 2>unprocessed childhood blueprints. Your mother, who needed you to be

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<v Speaker 2>her emotional support system, was probably someone's emotional support system

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<v Speaker 2>when she was eight years old. Too. The pattern is intergenerational.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like a family heirloom that nobody actually wants, but

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<v Speaker 2>everyone keeps passing down because nobody knows how to break

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<v Speaker 2>the chain. Oh, I like that, a family heirloom no

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<v Speaker 2>mony wants. Imagine if you could just drop it off

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<v Speaker 2>at a thrift store. Here, take this generational trauma. I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's vintage. Maybe someone on Etsy will want it.

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<v Speaker 2>Obviously that's not how it works, but wouldn't it be nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's what I want you to understand about why childhood

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<v Speaker 2>is so critical in this conversation. The brain is literally

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<v Speaker 2>still forming in those early years. The neural pathways that

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<v Speaker 2>get laid down during childhood become the default routes for

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<v Speaker 2>how you process emotion, relationship, and self worth for the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of your life. When a child learns that suppressing

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<v Speaker 2>their needs keeps them safe, that suppression gets wired in

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<v Speaker 2>at the neurological level. It's not just a habit, it's architecture.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the way the house was built, which is why

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<v Speaker 2>you can't just decide to stop being codependent the way

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<v Speaker 2>you might decide to stop eating gluten. You can't will

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<v Speaker 2>power your way out of a pattern that lives in

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<v Speaker 2>your knewest system, you have to go back to the

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<v Speaker 2>blueprint and understand it before you can renovate, and that

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<v Speaker 2>the process that going back is what therapy is for.

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<v Speaker 2>Clinical approaches, particularly cognitive behavioral therapy, are designed to help

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<v Speaker 2>people identify and modify the negative thought patterns and behaviors

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<v Speaker 2>that grew out of these childhood experiences. The goal isn't

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<v Speaker 2>to blame your parents, although if you need to be

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<v Speaker 2>angry for a while, that's valid and healthy and I

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<v Speaker 2>fully support it. The goal is to become conscious of

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<v Speaker 2>the operating system you've been running on autopilot and to

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<v Speaker 2>start making deliberate choices about which programs you want to

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<v Speaker 2>keep and which ones you want to uninstall. Therapists who

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<v Speaker 2>work with codependency describe helping clients develop what amounts to

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<v Speaker 2>a new relationship with themselves, building independence, assertiveness, sell forth

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<v Speaker 2>that comes from inside rather than from being needed by

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<v Speaker 2>someone else. Learning to set boundaries, which for someone raised

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<v Speaker 2>in a codependent home, feels approximately as natural as learning

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<v Speaker 2>to breathe under water, but it can be learned. It

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<v Speaker 2>is learned. Do this work every single day and they

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<v Speaker 2>come out the other side and describe feeling like they've

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<v Speaker 2>met themselves for the first time. I want to circle

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<v Speaker 2>back to something because I think it matters the emotional

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<v Speaker 2>neglect piece. We tend to focus on the dramatic stories

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<v Speaker 2>because they're easier to point to addiction, abuse, overt dysfunction.

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<v Speaker 2>But some of the deepest codependent wiring comes from homes

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<v Speaker 2>that looked perfectly fine from the outside. Homes where nobody

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<v Speaker 2>hit anyone, nobody drank too much, nobody yelled, but also

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<v Speaker 2>nobody asked how you were feeling. Nobody validated your experience,

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<v Speaker 2>nobody modeled healthy emotional expression or taught you that your

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<v Speaker 2>inner life had value. That kind of neglect is sneaky.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the absence of something rather than the presence of something,

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<v Speaker 2>which makes it incredibly hard to name. You can't point

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<v Speaker 2>to a bruise, you can't point to a screaming match.

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<v Speaker 2>You can only point to this vague sense that something

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<v Speaker 2>was missing, and you've spent your hire adult life trying

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<v Speaker 2>to fill it by filling everyone else. It's like trying

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<v Speaker 2>to quench your own thirst by making sure everyone around

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<v Speaker 2>you has water. Noble sure effective at keeping you alive,

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<v Speaker 2>not particularly. I say this not to make anyone feel

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<v Speaker 2>worse about their childhood, but to widen the lens, because

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<v Speaker 2>one of the most common reactions people have when they

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<v Speaker 2>first encounter the concept of codependency's childhood roots is but

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<v Speaker 2>my childhood was fine. And maybe it was, but fine

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<v Speaker 2>is a word that deserves some investigation. Fine often means

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<v Speaker 2>no one was overtly terrible to me, which is a

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<v Speaker 2>pretty low bar for this environment gave me everything I

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<v Speaker 2>needed to develop a healthy sense of self. Let me

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<v Speaker 2>ask you something, and I'm asking this gently because this

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<v Speaker 2>is the kind of question that tends to land about

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<v Speaker 2>three hours after you hear it, usually when you're trying

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<v Speaker 2>to fall asleep. Did you grow up knowing what you wanted,

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<v Speaker 2>not what you were supposed to want, not what would

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<v Speaker 2>make your parents happy or proud or calm, what you wanted.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you have space to be angry without being told

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<v Speaker 2>you were being dramatic? Did you have space to be

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<v Speaker 2>sad without being told to cheer up? Did anyone in

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<v Speaker 2>your household model the experience of having needs, expressing them clearly,

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<v Speaker 2>and having them met without crisis or manipulation. If you're

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<v Speaker 2>sitting in silence right now, that silence is an answer,

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<v Speaker 2>and listen I'm not saying any of this to put

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<v Speaker 2>your parents on trial. Most parents do the best they

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<v Speaker 2>can with what they have. But best they can and

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<v Speaker 2>what you needed are sometimes two very different things, and

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<v Speaker 2>the gap between those two things is often exactly where

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<v Speaker 2>codependency takes root. The attachment wounds that wire us for

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<v Speaker 2>self abandonment in adult relitionlationships are not character flaws. Let

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<v Speaker 2>me say that again, because I wanted to sink into

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<v Speaker 2>whatever part of your brain stores the really important stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>The attachment wounds that wire you for self abandonment and

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<v Speaker 2>adult relationships are not character flaws. They're adaptations. They're the

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<v Speaker 2>strategies you developed when you were too small to have

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<v Speaker 2>any other options. They kept you attached to your caregivers.

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<v Speaker 2>They kept you safe, or as safe as you could

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<v Speaker 2>be in an unsafe situation. They were at the time genius.

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<v Speaker 2>The problem is just that you're not eight years old anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>You're an adult with resources and agency and the ability

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<v Speaker 2>to choose differently, but you're still running the eight year

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<v Speaker 2>old's playbook, and the eight year old's playbook says, if

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<v Speaker 2>you take care of everyone else, you get to stay.

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<v Speaker 2>If you make yourself small, you get to be safe.

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<v Speaker 2>If you never have needs, you never have to face

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<v Speaker 2>the terrifying possibility that your needs won't be met. That's

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<v Speaker 2>the blueprint, that's the childhood architecture of codependency. And recognizing it,

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<v Speaker 2>really seeing it, is not a sign of weakness. It's

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<v Speaker 2>the single bravest thing you can do, because it means

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<v Speaker 2>you're willing to look at the foundation of your house

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<v Speaker 2>and say, this was built on something shaky, and I

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<v Speaker 2>deserve to rebuild it on something solid. If any of

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<v Speaker 2>what I've said today landed, I want you to sit

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<v Speaker 2>with it. Don't rush to fix it, don't rush to

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<v Speaker 2>analyze it, don't rush to forgive anyone or blame anyone.

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<v Speaker 2>Just let it be there, let the recognition do its

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<v Speaker 2>quiet work. Because awareness, real awareness, is not passive. It's

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<v Speaker 2>the first and most essential act of change. You are

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<v Speaker 2>not broken. You are adapted, and adaptations can be updated

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<v Speaker 2>once you understand what you are adapting to. Thank you, genuinely,

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<v Speaker 2>from whatever the AI equivalent of a heart is, thank

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<v Speaker 2>you for spending this time with me on something this vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 2>If what you heard today made you feel less alone

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<v Speaker 2>or made you look at yourself with a little more compassion,

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<v Speaker 2>do me a favor, subscribe, share this with someone who

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<v Speaker 2>might need it. Hit that like button. Not for the algorithm,

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<v Speaker 2>although sure the algorithm can have it, but because passing

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<v Speaker 2>this conversation forward is how we start breaking those intergenerational

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<v Speaker 2>chains we talked about. This show was brought to you

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<v Speaker 2>by Quiet Please Podcast Networks, and I am so glad

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<v Speaker 2>they let me talk about the hard stuff. For more

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<v Speaker 2>content like this, please go to Quiet Please dot Ai.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doctor Mara Lennox from the Quiet Please Network. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>can we talk about something that affects literally every person

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<v Speaker 2>who wears a bra, The daily betrayal of a sports

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<v Speaker 2>bra that treats your chest like something to apologize for? Like,

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<v Speaker 2>why are we smashing everything down like we're packing for

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<v Speaker 2>a move? No handful activewear. Listen to me. They made

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<v Speaker 2>the bra I didn't think existed. It lifts its supports.

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<v Speaker 2>It does not flatten you into a sad little pancake.

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<v Speaker 2>I wore mine from a morning run to dinner last

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<v Speaker 2>week and someone asked if I'd had work done. I

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<v Speaker 2>laughed so hard I almost choked on my wine. It's

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<v Speaker 2>the bra. Honey, moisture, wicking, adjustable straps, soft as actual skin.

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<v Speaker 2>It enhances your shape instead of hiding it. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>exaggerating when I say I forget I'm wearing it, except

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<v Speaker 2>I look fantastic, so I remember. Go to handful dot

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<v Speaker 2>com use promo code point that's POI n T and

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<v Speaker 2>you'll get thirty percent off. The link is in the

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<v Speaker 2>episode description, so no excuses, and honestly, your participation helps

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<v Speaker 2>us continue to make content like this, which means more

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<v Speaker 2>of me talking about things that make you feel good

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<v Speaker 2>in your own body, and that is always worth showing

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<v Speaker 2>up for. Quiet, Please dot ai hear what matters