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<v Speaker 1>Adventist Radio London inspiration for the.

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<v Speaker 2>Song Welcome to Talking Point. Oh, how the time has flown.

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<v Speaker 2>Another week has passed and we're here, and I thank

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<v Speaker 2>you all for joining us, and you've been blessed by

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<v Speaker 2>wherever you've been and whatever you've been doing. I know

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<v Speaker 2>I've had a busy day as usual, but here we

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<v Speaker 2>are on the Sabbath evening, ready to have a really

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<v Speaker 2>another good conversation. It's been a month of men's men's talk.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been November traditionally known as November, and we've been

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<v Speaker 2>speaking to some really interesting men throughout this across the

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<v Speaker 2>last few weeks. Last week we talked about men's health,

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<v Speaker 2>both physical health and mental health, really big topic. We've

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<v Speaker 2>spoken to a guy who has done a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>work within his community, and we've also spoken to our

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<v Speaker 2>Men's Ministry team sat in the South of England conference

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<v Speaker 2>and the work that they've been doing as well. They

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<v Speaker 2>have a regular men's talk. So it's been really encouraging

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<v Speaker 2>as a woman to see that men have been getting

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<v Speaker 2>together and having those conversations. And I hope you've been

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<v Speaker 2>able to join with us and listening as well. As always,

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<v Speaker 2>I am joined by my co host Pedro, I've only

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<v Speaker 2>got one with me at the moment. Hopefully send you

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<v Speaker 2>and maybe able to join us shortly. But Pedro, how

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<v Speaker 2>are you doing.

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<v Speaker 3>Good?

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<v Speaker 4>Out to everybody, welcome to Talking Point. I'm doing good. Angela,

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<v Speaker 4>how are you doing well.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a bit of a cold, I have to admit,

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<v Speaker 2>but my voice is a little croaky. But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>to me, oh, well, maybe the talking about the day.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's kind of getting better. Well, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll see, we'll see. I have my trusty bottle of

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<v Speaker 2>water next to me.

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<v Speaker 5>So you hydrated, You hydrated. There you go, that's why.

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<v Speaker 2>So so yeah, hopefully, Yeah, of course you've had a

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<v Speaker 2>good week. This's the week as usual.

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<v Speaker 4>No, actually has been pretty decent. Work has been steady.

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<v Speaker 5>But yeah, I've stayed in within the confines of my area, no.

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<v Speaker 4>Long distance really and she just work.

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<v Speaker 5>We had a Christmas party, so I went down. I

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<v Speaker 5>actually went down to my job for a Christmas party

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<v Speaker 5>and it drove back when I lost for that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>there's nothing more, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've got a couple of those coming up as well,

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<v Speaker 2>so if that happened, ye.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not into them like that. I don't like.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't like you know a lot of I like people,

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<v Speaker 5>but I don't like to be sometimes in a like

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<v Speaker 5>all around you know, I know, like.

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<v Speaker 4>It's hard to display.

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<v Speaker 5>Like then the music and it's just loud, and sometimes

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<v Speaker 5>it kind of you know, gets me gets my brain

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<v Speaker 5>a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, We're getting old, that's what it is.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm definitely getting old. I'm right behind you.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I hear that.

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<v Speaker 2>I hear that. But I quite like getting together with people.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like the idea of exchanging gifts and stuff, so

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<v Speaker 2>that's always quite good. You know, some of the gifts

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<v Speaker 2>that end up people end up getting. I'm not always

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<v Speaker 2>that great, but you know, I'm hoping for a nice

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<v Speaker 2>one this year, so it's all good. It's all good.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, We've we got three gentlemen with us today, right, we.

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<v Speaker 2>Have, yes, So, as I say, this has been our

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<v Speaker 2>men's month, so we're going to We've been covering at

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<v Speaker 2>different topics, but today we're looking at relationships. I guess

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<v Speaker 2>starting some kind of you know, the whole idea of

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<v Speaker 2>friendship and brotherhood right through to relationships in a romantic sense.

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<v Speaker 2>So we've got three guests with us currently, so I'm

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<v Speaker 2>looking forward to the conversation there. As always, if you

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<v Speaker 2>want to connect with us and join the conversation, we'd

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<v Speaker 2>love to hear from you, so you can email us

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<v Speaker 2>at so Sorry, you can email us on studio at

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<v Speaker 2>Adventist Radio dot London, or you can send us a

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<v Speaker 2>text message that's eight triple two eight, write hope, leave

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<v Speaker 2>a space and then your message. We can send us

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<v Speaker 2>a WhatsApp message on zero seven four five nine six

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<v Speaker 2>four two eight nine eight. So again, do connect with us.

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<v Speaker 2>We want to hear your views and your thoughts as well,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's studio at Adventist Radio dot London. Text to

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<v Speaker 2>eight triple two eight, write hope, leave a space and

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<v Speaker 2>then add your message, or you can send us a

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<v Speaker 2>WhatsApp on zero seven four five nine six four two

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<v Speaker 2>eight nine eight. As we've got to guess on with

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<v Speaker 2>us today, we're talking about relationships, looking forward to the conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>Interesting to get the Ben's view on this, But as always,

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<v Speaker 2>we want to invite God into our conversation as well,

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<v Speaker 2>so let's bow our heads and let's start with prayer.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh God, I want to thank you for blessing us

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<v Speaker 2>with another wonderful Sabbath dear Lord, and I pray that

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<v Speaker 2>whatever we did today, that we were blessed by the words,

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<v Speaker 2>the message, the songs that we've heard. I thank you,

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<v Speaker 2>Dear Lord for allowing us this time on this platform,

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<v Speaker 2>Dear Lord, to share another word, Dear Lord, to have

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<v Speaker 2>a conversation about topics that they haven't always spoken about.

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<v Speaker 2>But deal Lord, we're focusing on our men and the

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<v Speaker 2>impact that they have within their families, their communities. And

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<v Speaker 2>I pray, Dear Lord that our listeners will be blessed

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<v Speaker 2>and we'll learn something from what they're here today. I

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for being an awesome God and hearing an answering.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you Lord, your name.

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<v Speaker 4>Amen here man.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so we are joined on our platform today. Bye,

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<v Speaker 2>We've got some special guests on, so I guess what

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<v Speaker 2>we'll do. We'll go around and kind of get them

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<v Speaker 2>to introduce themselves a little bit about themselves, what they do,

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<v Speaker 2>and then we will get started straight into our conversations.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm looking at my screen and I can see

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<v Speaker 2>that I've got just to see the name. So I

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<v Speaker 2>was going to go round, but I'm going to start

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<v Speaker 2>with I will start with Hilton, So I know we

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<v Speaker 2>met Hilton a couple of months ago at an event

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<v Speaker 2>for solo Fest down at Ballam Church, we were part

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<v Speaker 2>of a panel discussion solo Fest being a singles ministry

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<v Speaker 2>festival that happens yearly run by co hosted byke Anel

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, that was a really good, really good day,

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<v Speaker 2>really good program, really good discussion. And it's the opportunity

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<v Speaker 2>to kind of meet new people and say hey, come

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<v Speaker 2>on to our show. So here we are. So Hilton,

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<v Speaker 2>welcome to Talking Point. Tell us a little bit about

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<v Speaker 2>yourself and what you do.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, Thank you, Angela and Pedro. I'm delighted to be

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<v Speaker 6>with you to have a conversation with people of your

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<v Speaker 6>ilk and caliber. As you indicated, my name is Hilton

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<v Speaker 6>Samuel and I do help singles who get the right

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<v Speaker 6>person for them, and I have the term right in

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<v Speaker 6>brackets and that's the main focus of the type of

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<v Speaker 6>work I do. Because I am a self proclaim apostle,

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<v Speaker 6>I you knows, as Paul says, I'm a card of

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<v Speaker 6>men called of God to bring hope and inspiration to

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<v Speaker 6>families because I'm profoundly convicted, beyond the shadow of a doubt,

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<v Speaker 6>that the whole foundation of all society around the world

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<v Speaker 6>and in the church, around the world, around the globe

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<v Speaker 6>is the strength of the unit of the community, which

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<v Speaker 6>is family. And whenever family breaks down, empirical evidence shows

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<v Speaker 6>that all help brings loose in the lives of women, men, children,

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<v Speaker 6>and society at large. Whenever we have strong families, then

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<v Speaker 6>there is a ripple effect that the society, the church,

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<v Speaker 6>and of course the family themselves do well. Children grew

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<v Speaker 6>up to be powerful citizens and in the context of Christianity,

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<v Speaker 6>powerful weaknesses of God. And so I am actually an advocate,

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<v Speaker 6>a campaigner for people to get married and stay married.

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<v Speaker 6>I run a ministry called God Wants You Married. I

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<v Speaker 6>know that there is a little bit of a tricky,

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<v Speaker 6>an interesting talking point, and we can debate that whether

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<v Speaker 6>or not everybody can get married, but I believe that

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<v Speaker 6>that's God's default position. I know in the world today,

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<v Speaker 6>and I know I'm taking up a little bit of

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<v Speaker 6>a time that lots of people are finding it very

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<v Speaker 6>challenging to get married, particularly women. And they're all kinds

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<v Speaker 6>of statistic. But just last night or a couple of

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<v Speaker 6>days ago, I ran a webinar that it's what's called

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<v Speaker 6>it's easy to get married. You're the one who's making

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<v Speaker 6>it difficult. Well enough said, I let the other guys

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<v Speaker 6>muscling by introduce them, introducing themselves, and we could talk

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<v Speaker 6>about those kind of concepts that that I've just thrown

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<v Speaker 6>out there in the in the on the internet, interweb.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been on the radio, on the radio. Thank you

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<v Speaker 2>for that. Oh I'm intrigued already. So yes, thank you

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<v Speaker 2>for that, Hilton. I'm looking forward to oh, looking forward

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<v Speaker 2>to hearing your insights. Okay, then we have Collechi.

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<v Speaker 7>Hi, Hi, Yes, I excited just to hear mister Sam

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<v Speaker 7>continued to talk. It was exciting, really started, but it

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<v Speaker 7>was exciting. You're cutting too quick.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't worry. We've got plenty of time, plenty tom So, Collecchi,

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<v Speaker 2>tell us a little about yourself, what you do? And

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<v Speaker 2>I've got to say, should I be asked everybody's relationship status?

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<v Speaker 2>But maybe I won't for now. But I'm single, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, so it's to be interesting. As you said,

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<v Speaker 2>but what do you do, Collechi and why you why

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<v Speaker 2>were you quite passion to come on and talk about

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<v Speaker 2>relationships today.

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<v Speaker 7>And you just knows the questions. Yeah, as you know,

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<v Speaker 7>as you said, my name is Colletchi. I'm I'm from Crowding,

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<v Speaker 7>SDA and I work in the cleaning industry, run a

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<v Speaker 7>small cleaning company. And yeah, it's been going on for

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<v Speaker 7>since twenty nineteen, and I give God praise and ask

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<v Speaker 7>the relationships I find it. It's it's, it's it's it's

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<v Speaker 7>a big topic out there today. It's really big. And

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<v Speaker 7>you know, every time any any any social gathering, the

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<v Speaker 7>conversation of relationship always comes up. So I'm just intrigued.

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<v Speaker 7>And I'm glad that Sir Samuel is on because he's

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<v Speaker 7>the expert. So it will let me see if well

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<v Speaker 7>some things that I have in mind and the other

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<v Speaker 7>people I've spoken to, and if we're on, if you're

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<v Speaker 7>on the right trajectory or will my man give us

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<v Speaker 7>a traffic light direction?

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<v Speaker 2>Cool? And I know you and I've had lots of

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<v Speaker 2>conversations about relationships, so yeah, looking forward to that as well.

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<v Speaker 2>So thank you. I find we've got gentlemen called Micah

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<v Speaker 2>so Micaeh, I know you've friends of clusurees. Introduce yourself

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<v Speaker 2>and listen a little bit about yourself and again, why

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<v Speaker 2>a you're passionate to talk about relationships on our platform today?

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<v Speaker 2>Have to come off me though, So okay, maybe we'll

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<v Speaker 2>come back and get okay we did have also, sure, no,

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<v Speaker 2>somebody that's just coming on as well. We've just got

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<v Speaker 2>another guests on as well, so let's see how they

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<v Speaker 2>can get on as well. Sean, do we have you there?

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<v Speaker 4>Sean is going Sean was.

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<v Speaker 2>But he's he's rejoined again as shared as well. That's

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<v Speaker 2>just time if I remember rightly, Okay, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>see those two will come back.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we're just a little difficulties as always.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, technical is, yes, the way, it's the way, make

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<v Speaker 2>it work it. Okay, we'll come back. So we'll come

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<v Speaker 2>back to those guys and get them to issue themselves.

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<v Speaker 2>But I guess, I mean, I don't know where we

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<v Speaker 2>want to go with we want to start, but I

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<v Speaker 2>guess I wanted to go back to something Hilton that

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<v Speaker 2>you said with regards to be sort of the basis

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<v Speaker 2>foundation being the family. So relationships are going to be

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<v Speaker 2>really key to having successful family family units. But it's

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<v Speaker 2>making about making connections. And I guess when I was

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<v Speaker 2>literally thinking about relationships, I guess the idea of just

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<v Speaker 2>relation or connections and between obviously with talking you know,

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<v Speaker 2>family want of family units that may be made up

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<v Speaker 2>of men, women, children, et cetera. But what would be

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<v Speaker 2>the specific and specialness between friendships and brotherhood of men? Really,

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<v Speaker 2>because the connections with men, because sometimes I will speak

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<v Speaker 2>to men and I'm sure they have close friends, but

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, it's a very different type of relationship

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<v Speaker 2>than it is we'd say with women in their friendship groups.

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<v Speaker 2>So is there anything key that you have noted throughout

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<v Speaker 2>your work about the sort of the friendships between men

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<v Speaker 2>that you see.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, I mean, I think empirically men function vastly different

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<v Speaker 6>to women and women within their friendship groups, they have

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<v Speaker 6>really great connection and they maintained those connections, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>through the various activities that they have. I have my wife,

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<v Speaker 6>she is constantly speaking to her female friends. They you

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<v Speaker 6>know what I'll give you and analogy one time, I

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<v Speaker 6>mean even recently, they decided that they were going to

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<v Speaker 6>go out and go on this weekend together. So they

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<v Speaker 6>spoke for the entire week organizing this weekend. They went

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<v Speaker 6>on the weekend, and then they came back and on

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<v Speaker 6>her way home she was still talking to them, and

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<v Speaker 6>when she got home and got in the house, she

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<v Speaker 6>called them again and was like debris, I thought you

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<v Speaker 6>were on this thing for the whole weekend. You were

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<v Speaker 6>over them, and still you're calling them to talk with them.

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<v Speaker 6>So they have this kind of strong bond and they

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<v Speaker 6>make every effort to maintain that bond, whereas men, we're

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<v Speaker 6>quite we're fairly loose with our connection. And I don't

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<v Speaker 6>know if the other men here would agree with me.

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<v Speaker 6>I have friends that I haven't spoken to for for

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<v Speaker 6>a long time, but once we connect, it's as if

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<v Speaker 6>we we It was as if yesterday we were talking.

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<v Speaker 6>So there is a loose connection, but it doesn't necessarily

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<v Speaker 6>indicate that we have no friends or that we are

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<v Speaker 6>not you know, connected, just that for me, from my perspective,

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<v Speaker 6>we connect differently. Although of recent times, my observation and

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<v Speaker 6>some of the people that I read, it's showing that

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<v Speaker 6>we are being more and more forced into isolation and

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<v Speaker 6>unless we make a definitive effort to come together, is

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<v Speaker 6>not going to happen. More and more people are working

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<v Speaker 6>from home, more and more men are working from home.

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<v Speaker 6>Used to be the day governor, the days when we

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<v Speaker 6>used to collectively meet together, whether in hunting paths or

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<v Speaker 6>coming together in the village. Those of us are were

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<v Speaker 6>from the from you know, developing countries. Men loosely come

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<v Speaker 6>together in the village, you know, talk and whether it's

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<v Speaker 6>at the worm shop or even at church. We so

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<v Speaker 6>that is kind of particularly in the West, in what

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<v Speaker 6>we call what we call the West, I just use

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<v Speaker 6>we are very isolated, isolated, and I think we have

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<v Speaker 6>to make more of a concerted effort to come together.

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<v Speaker 6>Whether in fact I am trying to think from in

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<v Speaker 6>my church, I'm the family life leader, and I in

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<v Speaker 6>the in the back of my head, I want to

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<v Speaker 6>have a men's night out, or a men's togetherness, or

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<v Speaker 6>or just just for men and boys, strictly for men

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<v Speaker 6>and boys. But I also find that men get together

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<v Speaker 6>better around an activity rather than open talking shop just

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<v Speaker 6>sitting around the table eating. If we do something together,

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<v Speaker 6>that activity binds and bond us more, it's easier for

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<v Speaker 6>us to talk and connect. I don't know what the

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<v Speaker 6>other guys would have to say about those ideas that

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<v Speaker 6>I've just thrown out. I would like to hear their views,

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<v Speaker 6>but I think I will. The main point that was

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<v Speaker 6>I started by making that the way we connect is

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<v Speaker 6>vastly different the way women connect and women are much

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<v Speaker 6>more intentional about maintaining their friendships than we are as menu.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so can I she any thoughts on what Hilton

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<v Speaker 2>was just saying there or what I was saying in

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<v Speaker 2>terms of friendships and the connections between men and he

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<v Speaker 2>thoughts on that.

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<v Speaker 7>I agree with him when he mentioned about women have

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<v Speaker 7>their connections like they'll just go on chatting, but men

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<v Speaker 7>I have a similar relationship. There's there's friends in my

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<v Speaker 7>circle who we haven't seen each other for moms something,

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<v Speaker 7>just for a long time, and when we connect it's

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<v Speaker 7>as if, as he said, we were talking like the

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<v Speaker 7>next all day, last yesterday. So there is a difference.

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I'm in agreement with someone, Go ahead, is

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<v Speaker 2>that sure?

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<v Speaker 3>It's me. I'm in a correct moment.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you doing?

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<v Speaker 3>Me and you and the rest of guys we talk

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<v Speaker 3>all the time, and like like what you just said,

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<v Speaker 3>I might go in my house and I'm still talking

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<v Speaker 3>to you. So I want to disagree, really because I

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<v Speaker 3>find myself maybe I've got some woman jeans or something.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, but I talked a lot of guys

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<v Speaker 3>I do, and I'm on the phone just like Edre

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<v Speaker 3>just said, I ring this person that person and I

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00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:10.559
<v Speaker 3>do speak. Even when I speak to you, teacher, I

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00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:12.400
<v Speaker 3>might be I might have come from somewhere and we're

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<v Speaker 3>on the phone, I ring your back. I have to

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<v Speaker 3>disagree to some degree. Maybe maybe the majority guys are

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<v Speaker 3>like that, but I do talk.

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<v Speaker 5>I think Jared, you're the outlier. I mean, Sean, that's right.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm just looking at your name. I'm sorry because I'm

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<v Speaker 5>like them. I'm the same way. I'm noting Page.

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<v Speaker 4>I.

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00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:40.839
<v Speaker 5>I have friends in Bermuda that I haven't spoken to

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00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:43.200
<v Speaker 5>in years. But if we call right now, we could

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00:19:43.240 --> 00:19:46.240
<v Speaker 5>talk for two hours and it was like nothing. But

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00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:49.519
<v Speaker 5>like my wife, my wife, if that person don't call them,

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00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:53.079
<v Speaker 5>if she don't call her for like then in three months,

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00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:56.000
<v Speaker 5>she's like, did I do something wrong? Is something wrong?

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00:19:56.279 --> 00:19:58.279
<v Speaker 5>What's the matter? Like why they don't call me anymore?

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00:19:58.279 --> 00:19:58.960
<v Speaker 5>What's going on?

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<v Speaker 3>Like you know, in that sensement are different because you

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<v Speaker 3>cannot speak to a guy for a month to two

325
00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:08.319
<v Speaker 3>months and you pick up exactly the same place.

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<v Speaker 4>Where you take.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.

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<v Speaker 5>I was just saying that. I think you're probably out.

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<v Speaker 5>You know, there's a few guys that do talk. You're

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<v Speaker 5>probably your pap. You were saying that you talk, you know,

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<v Speaker 5>to a lot of you know, gentlemen. So I was

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<v Speaker 5>saying that you may be that like outlier, but I

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<v Speaker 5>think it's a lot more men that just don't They

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<v Speaker 5>just don't have that, you know.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know what it is, just.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll tell you what is a lot of marriage men,

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00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:38.440
<v Speaker 3>their wives push them out not to talk to other

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00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:40.799
<v Speaker 3>people and keep their friendship. And you see a lot

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00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:43.559
<v Speaker 3>of guys do that. They go out and then soon

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<v Speaker 3>as they get a woman, they stop talking to different

341
00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:47.759
<v Speaker 3>guys and don't keep their friendship, where a woman will

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00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:51.440
<v Speaker 3>keep a friendship. Me, I keep my friendship because guys

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00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:53.880
<v Speaker 3>I've known before, I talked to them all the time.

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<v Speaker 3>But it's a lot of guys in church they just

345
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<v Speaker 3>cut they just cut off guys, and they don't want

346
00:20:58.839 --> 00:21:00.799
<v Speaker 3>to they don't want to know know that normal. They're

347
00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:02.880
<v Speaker 3>just with their wife and the wise friends. And you

348
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:05.720
<v Speaker 3>find a lot of women's got friends and some guys

349
00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:08.640
<v Speaker 3>don't have any friends because they actually cut themselves off.

350
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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I can see that. I was back a little

351
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<v Speaker 5>bit because I'm mad. I've been mad for nineteen years.

352
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<v Speaker 5>My wife pushes me to go and talk to guys,

353
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<v Speaker 5>I just personally my power.

354
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<v Speaker 4>You'll think I probably can talk about this.

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00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:27.920
<v Speaker 5>My problem is that I have I know it's gonna

356
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<v Speaker 5>sound weird, but I actually talk. I actually talk better

357
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<v Speaker 5>to women than I do the guys for some and

358
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<v Speaker 5>it's not that I flair with them, and it's just

359
00:21:36.519 --> 00:21:39.799
<v Speaker 5>I just I just maybe because it's that dynamic of

360
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:40.839
<v Speaker 5>what I was doing.

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<v Speaker 4>So I was always at the kids.

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<v Speaker 5>I was always watching the kids, so you know, so

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<v Speaker 5>like I just always I didn't really connect with the guys.

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00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:54.680
<v Speaker 5>I'm more connected with the women, you know, But I

365
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<v Speaker 5>always just talk to married women. I wouldn't like be

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<v Speaker 5>out there just talking like that. I maybe saying it wrong,

367
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<v Speaker 5>but it's gonna sound where but yeah, my wife knows.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm not worried about it. But yeah, I think it

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<v Speaker 5>just depends on the guy in that in that.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, sorry, Petro ex flinished what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 5>No, no, no, that was all I was saying because

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<v Speaker 5>I don't want to I don't want to like, if

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<v Speaker 5>I keep talking, people may take the wrong things.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't want to say, Like.

375
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<v Speaker 6>I would want to make another point, another observation. If

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<v Speaker 6>your mind even the content of what we speak about

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<v Speaker 6>is slightly different to women. It's not that men don't

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<v Speaker 6>talk about other people. We do talk about other people.

379
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<v Speaker 6>But our conversation, I think again I can be corrected.

380
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<v Speaker 6>It's a little bit more focused and maybe to the point,

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<v Speaker 6>to the point, maybe operational. We have conversation that there

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00:22:55.200 --> 00:22:57.160
<v Speaker 6>is a point to it, and not that I'm saying

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<v Speaker 6>that women speak pointless.

384
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<v Speaker 4>I know, Zach, what you mean. We talk with purpose.

385
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<v Speaker 6>Yes, there is a purpose.

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00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:05.519
<v Speaker 4>We have a purpose of the conversation.

387
00:23:05.720 --> 00:23:08.960
<v Speaker 5>Yes, we just don't talk to talk well a woman

388
00:23:09.079 --> 00:23:13.039
<v Speaker 5>and anyway they are talking, and they are just kind

389
00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:16.759
<v Speaker 5>of generalize, like you know, like beat around the bush.

390
00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:19.279
<v Speaker 6>Well, let's go down there.

391
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<v Speaker 2>Let's not go down there.

392
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<v Speaker 8>It's the truth.

393
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:28.359
<v Speaker 4>I tell you all the time. It's the truth.

394
00:23:28.519 --> 00:23:29.039
<v Speaker 8>Just get to this.

395
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<v Speaker 6>This in a way for us, they speak differently to

396
00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:35.599
<v Speaker 6>the way we speak. Usually it sounds like they're beating

397
00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:38.440
<v Speaker 6>around the bush. But it does have a purpose, you know,

398
00:23:39.319 --> 00:23:44.559
<v Speaker 6>every little it's almost they could start with one point,

399
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:49.960
<v Speaker 6>but they go off in myriads of different directions and

400
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:53.559
<v Speaker 6>and all that is important to them. I we found

401
00:23:53.640 --> 00:24:00.319
<v Speaker 6>we find that generally speaking, this is just simply generalizedation.

402
00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:05.839
<v Speaker 6>Generally speaking, women talk to connect, and men talk connect

403
00:24:05.960 --> 00:24:06.720
<v Speaker 6>to talk.

404
00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:07.480
<v Speaker 3>So.

405
00:24:09.200 --> 00:24:12.920
<v Speaker 6>The way they frame their conversation is slightly different to

406
00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:15.759
<v Speaker 6>the way we frame of a conversation, and the weather

407
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:20.720
<v Speaker 6>conversation flows. And back to the whole concept of us

408
00:24:20.759 --> 00:24:25.559
<v Speaker 6>being lone wolves or not having friends. I don't think

409
00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:29.079
<v Speaker 6>that we don't have friends. We do have friends. We

410
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:33.200
<v Speaker 6>don't spend as much as much time as they do

411
00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:38.359
<v Speaker 6>in the way they do. And I think again Petro

412
00:24:38.519 --> 00:24:43.759
<v Speaker 6>used the word focused. We're very focused. I find, and

413
00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:47.079
<v Speaker 6>I could only speak for myself, and you guys could pitching.

414
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:50.440
<v Speaker 6>I find that if I'm doing something, I can't be

415
00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:53.720
<v Speaker 6>having general conversation with my wife. I mean, you know,

416
00:24:54.599 --> 00:24:58.400
<v Speaker 6>it throws me off. She comes in the room and

417
00:24:58.559 --> 00:25:02.720
<v Speaker 6>starts the conversation while I am at the computer, very focused,

418
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.559
<v Speaker 6>and I either have to stop what I'm doing to

419
00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:11.960
<v Speaker 6>listen to her, or but I see her cooking, washing, talking,

420
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.680
<v Speaker 6>cross talking. If I come in the kitchen and she's

421
00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:16.599
<v Speaker 6>on the phone, and she'll be on the phone and

422
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:20.000
<v Speaker 6>she starts a conversation with me and the other person

423
00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:22.960
<v Speaker 6>her friend is on the line, and she jumps back

424
00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:30.319
<v Speaker 6>and forth, and I'm amazed. I'm amazed, and I think, sorry,

425
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:31.200
<v Speaker 6>said that again.

426
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:34.000
<v Speaker 3>Than men.

427
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:38.079
<v Speaker 6>Well, yes, we use the term multitask, but for some

428
00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:43.720
<v Speaker 6>in some way, their brain is configured slightly differently. Whereas

429
00:25:43.839 --> 00:25:48.359
<v Speaker 6>if we're doing something, we're very focused, and many of

430
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:50.920
<v Speaker 6>us are busy. We have busy lives. If we at work,

431
00:25:52.279 --> 00:25:54.720
<v Speaker 6>you know, we need to just get on with work.

432
00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:57.400
<v Speaker 6>My wife, when I used to be out and you know,

433
00:25:57.400 --> 00:26:00.240
<v Speaker 6>go into the office and things like that, she would

434
00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:04.640
<v Speaker 6>call me and I don't pick up. Then when she

435
00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:08.680
<v Speaker 6>does get me, she would be asking me why I

436
00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:12.279
<v Speaker 6>didn't pick up, and I'm thinking, hold on, why don't

437
00:26:12.279 --> 00:26:13.519
<v Speaker 6>you just tell me what you called me for?

438
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:14.039
<v Speaker 3>You?

439
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:19.480
<v Speaker 6>But the fact is that she wants to connect with me,

440
00:26:21.160 --> 00:26:24.119
<v Speaker 6>and because she wants to connect with me, she would call. Yes,

441
00:26:24.200 --> 00:26:28.720
<v Speaker 6>sometimes she has a specific reason to call, but I

442
00:26:28.839 --> 00:26:33.200
<v Speaker 6>have to stop my work and listen to her, Whereas

443
00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:37.880
<v Speaker 6>I in my mind, she's probably multitasking, doing several things

444
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.960
<v Speaker 6>in the background. And I think that one of the

445
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:45.440
<v Speaker 6>slight things that get in our way is one way

446
00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:48.319
<v Speaker 6>is so busy, particularly those of us who are in

447
00:26:48.359 --> 00:26:52.920
<v Speaker 6>the workforce, and in order for us to talk, we

448
00:26:53.079 --> 00:26:58.799
<v Speaker 6>need to carve out time to have that conversation, and

449
00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:02.319
<v Speaker 6>many times we don't have the time. Maybe Sean does

450
00:27:02.599 --> 00:27:04.920
<v Speaker 6>you know he makes the time. He does it while

451
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:07.799
<v Speaker 6>he's in the car, and sometimes we do to then

452
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.640
<v Speaker 6>he goes home and calls someone else. And I agree

453
00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:14.680
<v Speaker 6>with Petro, he's probably he probably is an outlier to

454
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:16.839
<v Speaker 6>to many of us. But it's not that we don't

455
00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:19.720
<v Speaker 6>do it, but we need the time, and we also

456
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:21.200
<v Speaker 6>need time to get together.

457
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:27.200
<v Speaker 3>So I say this to conversation. I talk a lot

458
00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:30.400
<v Speaker 3>of it. I really our friends are saying sometimes, man,

459
00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:32.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm kind of the phone that wech had a lot

460
00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:35.400
<v Speaker 3>of smack and I have multiple conversations, but we finished

461
00:27:35.400 --> 00:27:39.519
<v Speaker 3>the conversation. We change the conversation about. There was a

462
00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:42.359
<v Speaker 3>different subjects, but they all get there with and not

463
00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:45.440
<v Speaker 3>just sticking a topic. We jump from here today today

464
00:27:46.359 --> 00:27:49.400
<v Speaker 3>on a different topics, but within the conversation, we finish

465
00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:52.680
<v Speaker 3>the topic. So I'm definitely different than you guys, A

466
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:55.319
<v Speaker 3>hundred percent different. And actually I was speaking to a

467
00:27:55.359 --> 00:27:57.519
<v Speaker 3>guet a garage. I just went there and I was

468
00:27:57.559 --> 00:27:59.480
<v Speaker 3>just talking to him. I said, I'm a guy that talks.

469
00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:03.119
<v Speaker 3>I've got any way, and I talked, so show thatself friendly.

470
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:07.519
<v Speaker 3>You have many friends, so genuine I'm a friendly person.

471
00:28:09.599 --> 00:28:11.839
<v Speaker 6>Well, yes, and I don't think I disagree with that.

472
00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:13.359
<v Speaker 6>I agree with you. If you if you want to

473
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:17.680
<v Speaker 6>see men talk, go to the barbershop. And you know,

474
00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:20.599
<v Speaker 6>we do talk. I don't think we're talk in the

475
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:24.000
<v Speaker 6>same way that women do talk. That's that's that's the

476
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:25.559
<v Speaker 6>point that someone.

477
00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:28.119
<v Speaker 2>Before you go on, I just want to say that

478
00:28:28.279 --> 00:28:32.319
<v Speaker 2>you just obviously just joined this the program. Just introduce yourself.

479
00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Just a little bit about yourself, and I love the

480
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:37.119
<v Speaker 2>fact that you've said, you know, show yourself friendly. You'll

481
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:39.400
<v Speaker 2>have lots of friends. Tell us a little bit about.

482
00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:42.799
<v Speaker 3>Who you are. Introduce me. You know me quite well,

483
00:28:43.440 --> 00:28:46.000
<v Speaker 3>I can, but the others don't so well in me.

484
00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:49.880
<v Speaker 2>For a long time. Well, I know you're Sean Blake.

485
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:51.119
<v Speaker 2>Tell me about Sean Blake.

486
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:58.680
<v Speaker 3>I'm just the regular guy. Everybody else named Sean Blake's

487
00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:01.559
<v Speaker 3>a regular guy that everybody else. Yeah, all different, just

488
00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:05.039
<v Speaker 3>that the average guy. No different than anybody else.

489
00:29:05.480 --> 00:29:08.839
<v Speaker 2>Okay, cool, okay, but yeah, definitely you say no different.

490
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:13.599
<v Speaker 2>But obviously you're quite very friendly, very talkative. That could

491
00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:15.759
<v Speaker 2>be quite different from some men. And I guess we're

492
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:20.119
<v Speaker 2>talking today about relationships and relational Obviously we're talking starting

493
00:29:20.200 --> 00:29:22.359
<v Speaker 2>up in terms of friendships, but obviously want to take

494
00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:27.759
<v Speaker 2>that into you know, relationships, marriage, et cetera. So it

495
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:29.799
<v Speaker 2>be interested to get you a viewpoints on that. I

496
00:29:29.799 --> 00:29:31.799
<v Speaker 2>know you're married, you've been married for how long?

497
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:37.519
<v Speaker 3>Certain three.

498
00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:41.839
<v Speaker 2>Years, wonderful, So I'm sure you have a lot of

499
00:29:41.839 --> 00:29:46.079
<v Speaker 2>insights into relational and relationships. So I'm looking forward to

500
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:47.359
<v Speaker 2>hearing a bit more on that.

501
00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:51.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm from you on that as well, So thank you.

502
00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:54.519
<v Speaker 2>I was wanted to check we did have Michael on

503
00:29:54.519 --> 00:29:56.519
<v Speaker 2>the call. I don't know if you're still there, like,

504
00:29:56.680 --> 00:30:03.759
<v Speaker 2>are you there? Not come off mut as yet? So okay,

505
00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:07.640
<v Speaker 2>maybe not? Okay, all right. So in terms of what

506
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:10.440
<v Speaker 2>we're talking about, in terms of the conversations and friendships

507
00:30:10.519 --> 00:30:13.720
<v Speaker 2>might have you, I guess people are very different. And also,

508
00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:16.240
<v Speaker 2>as you mentioned, you know there are differences between men

509
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:20.759
<v Speaker 2>and women and how we communicate. But Sean, for you,

510
00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:25.480
<v Speaker 2>how important are your friendships for you and maintaining that

511
00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:28.359
<v Speaker 2>because you mentioned before which is interesting that you know,

512
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:31.039
<v Speaker 2>men and women get together and when they get married,

513
00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:36.119
<v Speaker 2>they often the men seem to either lose their friendships

514
00:30:36.200 --> 00:30:38.240
<v Speaker 2>or don't maintain that connection in the same way that

515
00:30:38.279 --> 00:30:41.440
<v Speaker 2>a woman would do. Any thoughts as to why that

516
00:30:41.480 --> 00:30:44.039
<v Speaker 2>would be. And you know, with that, why is it

517
00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:46.480
<v Speaker 2>important that you're maintaining your friendships?

518
00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:52.240
<v Speaker 3>I think anybody really should. Really if you've got a

519
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:54.799
<v Speaker 3>friend with somebody, if you're friends with somebody before you're

520
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:57.960
<v Speaker 3>married or you're married, you should maintain those friendships. They

521
00:30:57.960 --> 00:31:00.599
<v Speaker 3>are important because, as you call it, to the closing

522
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.640
<v Speaker 3>part of your life, those are the friendships that really

523
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:05.920
<v Speaker 3>keep you if you don't have any friends. A lot

524
00:31:05.960 --> 00:31:09.880
<v Speaker 3>of guys that have friends because it just gets stuff

525
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:13.440
<v Speaker 3>making their work, maybe in their family life, and they

526
00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:15.599
<v Speaker 3>depend on their wife's friends. And I think you can't

527
00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:19.119
<v Speaker 3>depend on your wife's friends. You need your own personal

528
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:22.440
<v Speaker 3>male friends that you can talk to, that you can

529
00:31:22.440 --> 00:31:27.200
<v Speaker 3>connect with. You know, the way men connect slightly different.

530
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:32.400
<v Speaker 3>I believe that men are more logical, more logical, not

531
00:31:32.519 --> 00:31:35.359
<v Speaker 3>so emotional. Yeah, you do have emotions and stuff, so

532
00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:41.079
<v Speaker 3>you do need to have You definitely need to maintain friendships,

533
00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:44.599
<v Speaker 3>especially if there's a younger audience out there. Make sure

534
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:46.640
<v Speaker 3>when you when you're when you're dating, that you don't

535
00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:49.279
<v Speaker 3>cut off your friends. Try your best stop cut with

536
00:31:49.319 --> 00:31:51.759
<v Speaker 3>your friends. If you've got friends and they're good friends,

537
00:31:51.880 --> 00:31:55.200
<v Speaker 3>keep them because later in life, if you don't have

538
00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:58.640
<v Speaker 3>those friends. You're just going to be lonely. You're just

539
00:31:58.680 --> 00:32:02.319
<v Speaker 3>going to be lonely. I hear about lots of guys.

540
00:32:02.319 --> 00:32:04.200
<v Speaker 3>The wife says, oh, when you're not here, shure, and

541
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:06.759
<v Speaker 3>he just goes up up in the room. I'm like,

542
00:32:06.960 --> 00:32:09.079
<v Speaker 3>what's up in the room. That's not me. I'm not

543
00:32:09.079 --> 00:32:14.720
<v Speaker 3>sitting up in the room by amounts m And I.

544
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:17.720
<v Speaker 6>Said something on that. Yeah, ahead, Yeah, much of what

545
00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:21.119
<v Speaker 6>John is saying I subscribe to. But I have a

546
00:32:21.160 --> 00:32:26.480
<v Speaker 6>different take on it, a slightly different take. When you

547
00:32:26.519 --> 00:32:34.680
<v Speaker 6>get married, particularly with this institution called marrin marriage, we

548
00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:41.640
<v Speaker 6>recognize there are a couple of things that your circumstances change,

549
00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:49.240
<v Speaker 6>your priorities change, and because of that, it really changes

550
00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:53.559
<v Speaker 6>the dynamics of what is happening between you and your friends.

551
00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:56.079
<v Speaker 6>And so what needs to happen. You still need to

552
00:32:56.079 --> 00:33:00.200
<v Speaker 6>maintain your friendships. You still also need to perhaps even

553
00:33:00.319 --> 00:33:04.279
<v Speaker 6>generate new friendships. And these friends should be friends of

554
00:33:04.599 --> 00:33:09.599
<v Speaker 6>the relationship and not just only you. So your friends

555
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:14.599
<v Speaker 6>become friends of you and your wife. And I'm not

556
00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:17.440
<v Speaker 6>saying that they have to be body friends with your wife,

557
00:33:17.960 --> 00:33:20.599
<v Speaker 6>as you know, as they are with you, but they

558
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:24.880
<v Speaker 6>should also become advocates of the marriage to or the

559
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:29.559
<v Speaker 6>relationship between you and your your spouse. What is because

560
00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:31.599
<v Speaker 6>the reason why I'm saying that what is kind of

561
00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:36.079
<v Speaker 6>dangerous is that sometimes, you know, we have people complaining

562
00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:41.279
<v Speaker 6>or women complaining that what happens is that when they

563
00:33:41.319 --> 00:33:45.160
<v Speaker 6>get married and they maintain their friendship with their single

564
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:50.640
<v Speaker 6>the single crowd, the single boys as if they are single,

565
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:54.559
<v Speaker 6>and they begin to continue going out with them and

566
00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:58.279
<v Speaker 6>associate with them as they used to do when they

567
00:33:58.279 --> 00:34:03.559
<v Speaker 6>are single, that could become a little bit threatening in

568
00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:06.880
<v Speaker 6>a number of ways. For example, if they go out

569
00:34:06.920 --> 00:34:10.239
<v Speaker 6>and hang out together in the pub or you know,

570
00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:14.360
<v Speaker 6>and and and do things that they used to do

571
00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:20.960
<v Speaker 6>while they're single, then that could impact and influence the

572
00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:24.480
<v Speaker 6>person who has gotten married. And I'm not saying that

573
00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:27.880
<v Speaker 6>they should drop their friends. I'm not saying that they

574
00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:32.000
<v Speaker 6>should isolate themselves from their friends. I'm just saying that

575
00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:37.920
<v Speaker 6>you need to be careful because we have seen cases

576
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:42.400
<v Speaker 6>where people still continue to hold on to that friendship

577
00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:49.880
<v Speaker 6>circle and that friendship circle influenced them to do things

578
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:55.840
<v Speaker 6>that are not conducive to the relationship. Let's just put

579
00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:58.480
<v Speaker 6>it that way.

580
00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:03.960
<v Speaker 3>Are we talking to Christian I'm talking to a Christian concept. So,

581
00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:06.000
<v Speaker 3>so I was talking about and the Christian concept, there's

582
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.320
<v Speaker 3>no there's no threat of me doing that to the

583
00:35:08.360 --> 00:35:13.239
<v Speaker 3>club stuff. That's what I was talking about. Really, I'm

584
00:35:13.239 --> 00:35:15.480
<v Speaker 3>not talking about if you want me to have a

585
00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:16.840
<v Speaker 3>level yeah.

586
00:35:18.280 --> 00:35:21.639
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, from a Christian perspective, they should also become

587
00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:26.119
<v Speaker 6>friends of the relationship and their marriage.

588
00:35:26.480 --> 00:35:28.400
<v Speaker 3>But I think that should be I think that's just natural.

589
00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:30.239
<v Speaker 3>I'm not gonna have a I'm gonna have a friend

590
00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:32.480
<v Speaker 3>that I don't like my wife and AND's got a

591
00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:35.440
<v Speaker 3>problem with her or whatever. I'm like that, man, I mean,

592
00:35:35.480 --> 00:35:37.159
<v Speaker 3>you like me, you like my wife, but me me

593
00:35:37.199 --> 00:35:39.199
<v Speaker 3>and you you know you can't you can't. You can't

594
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:42.880
<v Speaker 3>be having a friend. And he said, I just don't

595
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:45.599
<v Speaker 3>to stay with your missus. Obviously you're like you. I

596
00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:48.360
<v Speaker 3>mean you're loving your missus. You're like no, no, no,

597
00:35:49.239 --> 00:35:51.480
<v Speaker 3>I mean they've a valued point. Why they're saying that

598
00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:54.960
<v Speaker 3>for then that's not really their friend, is it? Because

599
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:57.719
<v Speaker 3>your friends should be encouraging you. I would like collection

600
00:35:57.880 --> 00:35:59.880
<v Speaker 3>was a guy that used to come to my house.

601
00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:02.719
<v Speaker 3>He was single. He was always encouraging me in my

602
00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:06.480
<v Speaker 3>marriage over the years, all the time, most of my

603
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:09.039
<v Speaker 3>friends were like, I never had a friend that wasn't

604
00:36:09.119 --> 00:36:11.760
<v Speaker 3>encouraging me in my marriage. Never. I've never had a

605
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:16.800
<v Speaker 3>Christian friend. And even my friends who they were cool

606
00:36:17.679 --> 00:36:18.800
<v Speaker 3>and then still got a good.

607
00:36:20.599 --> 00:36:24.000
<v Speaker 7>So what if what if you you're married and your

608
00:36:24.039 --> 00:36:25.760
<v Speaker 7>wife has a male best friend.

609
00:36:26.559 --> 00:36:30.599
<v Speaker 4>Uhh, that happened.

610
00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:34.079
<v Speaker 6>Friend has to become friends of the relationship.

611
00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Did you say not happening.

612
00:36:37.239 --> 00:36:38.360
<v Speaker 4>I said, that's not happening.

613
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:43.440
<v Speaker 5>That's just men a whole bag on that one. But

614
00:36:43.559 --> 00:36:47.159
<v Speaker 5>he said best friend before you, Well, then she will

615
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:48.400
<v Speaker 5>have a best I'm her best friend.

616
00:36:48.840 --> 00:36:51.559
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, but he comes first, if you know, No, I

617
00:36:51.599 --> 00:36:55.320
<v Speaker 6>don't know if if that person come first. No, No,

618
00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:04.079
<v Speaker 6>what Sean just said, it's friend actually was an advocate

619
00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:08.679
<v Speaker 6>of the relationship. Now that that friend, if you're just

620
00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:13.559
<v Speaker 6>using whether or not the regardless of the gender, that friend,

621
00:37:13.639 --> 00:37:18.639
<v Speaker 6>whoever he or she is, should become an advocate of

622
00:37:18.679 --> 00:37:23.400
<v Speaker 6>the relationship. And if in any way, shape or form,

623
00:37:23.679 --> 00:37:27.440
<v Speaker 6>the threatened the relationship, then you need to evaluate it.

624
00:37:27.760 --> 00:37:31.760
<v Speaker 6>And by threatening, I mean not necessarily making a move

625
00:37:31.800 --> 00:37:36.880
<v Speaker 6>on your wife or anything, but dominating her time, you know,

626
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:44.320
<v Speaker 6>expecting her to do things that that would impact on

627
00:37:44.599 --> 00:37:49.920
<v Speaker 6>the relationship and I'm not necessarily speaking in a sexual way.

628
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:53.199
<v Speaker 6>You know she can't. You don't want him to be

629
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:57.639
<v Speaker 6>prior to prioritize you know what she has to do

630
00:37:58.079 --> 00:38:03.599
<v Speaker 6>with her with him over you? You, you become sensual in

631
00:38:03.639 --> 00:38:09.960
<v Speaker 6>her life, and you are the priority of her relationship

632
00:38:11.159 --> 00:38:15.840
<v Speaker 6>against any other even if they are best friends.

633
00:38:17.239 --> 00:38:19.639
<v Speaker 3>Are you? Are you talking about a male friend.

634
00:38:19.360 --> 00:38:20.840
<v Speaker 6>I'm talking about any gender.

635
00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:24.679
<v Speaker 3>Well, I'll be honest with you. I haven't really got

636
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:29.800
<v Speaker 3>a problem my wife talking to any male person, right.

637
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:33.000
<v Speaker 3>But like the other guy said, if my wife says

638
00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:35.400
<v Speaker 3>she's doing that with arms, she got some friends friend

639
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.840
<v Speaker 3>before she's doing that with him, I have a problem

640
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:39.800
<v Speaker 3>with that too, because I'm like, oh, on, when is

641
00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:44.199
<v Speaker 3>it you're run up and down with this guy? No? Yeah,

642
00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:50.199
<v Speaker 3>I mean I think personally a woman, ain't. I ain't

643
00:38:50.199 --> 00:38:53.280
<v Speaker 3>got no problem with a woman with My wife got

644
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:55.800
<v Speaker 3>a male's friend, but she's run up and down with him. Nah,

645
00:38:56.920 --> 00:38:58.719
<v Speaker 3>you're saying you need to be run up and down

646
00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:01.239
<v Speaker 3>with me. That's what the other guy said. Because I

647
00:39:01.280 --> 00:39:04.880
<v Speaker 3>can tell this the majority of men, and I hope

648
00:39:04.920 --> 00:39:07.400
<v Speaker 3>it could be open. The majority of men, the old men,

649
00:39:07.800 --> 00:39:11.239
<v Speaker 3>the vast majority of men. They get an opportunity. They've

650
00:39:11.280 --> 00:39:14.360
<v Speaker 3>gone with your wife. The majority of men and they're

651
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:18.519
<v Speaker 3>not friends. You can see lots of dating shows. Yeah,

652
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:21.840
<v Speaker 3>and a girl's being friends with the guy for ten

653
00:39:21.960 --> 00:39:24.440
<v Speaker 3>years and the guy says, really up and tell him

654
00:39:24.440 --> 00:39:26.440
<v Speaker 3>that you and the guy's back up and we want

655
00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:29.840
<v Speaker 3>to netflix and chill. The guy says, yeah, we can

656
00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:35.239
<v Speaker 3>netflix and chill. You know what that means. So most guys,

657
00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:38.039
<v Speaker 3>you know, you've got the odd odd guy that's not interested,

658
00:39:38.079 --> 00:39:41.360
<v Speaker 3>but the majority of guys, they're interested. They're interested in

659
00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:48.280
<v Speaker 3>you in what that is one hundred percent?

660
00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:52.679
<v Speaker 2>And also for a minute, yeah, I was gonna say

661
00:39:53.079 --> 00:39:54.760
<v Speaker 2>because I guess now if we've got some point where

662
00:39:54.760 --> 00:39:56.679
<v Speaker 2>we've got a mad but actually we want to explore

663
00:39:56.679 --> 00:40:01.920
<v Speaker 2>a little bit about getting to that point flesh. She

664
00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:06.599
<v Speaker 2>has noted that he's single or many single men out there. Hilton.

665
00:40:06.760 --> 00:40:10.400
<v Speaker 2>You run a program about, you know, helping single people

666
00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:14.679
<v Speaker 2>find the right person. So I guess, I guess what

667
00:40:14.679 --> 00:40:16.079
<v Speaker 2>we want to find out is that you know, what

668
00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:18.679
<v Speaker 2>are the challenges and is it easy? Is the dating

669
00:40:19.239 --> 00:40:22.639
<v Speaker 2>is a dating game and easy one these days? Sean,

670
00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:25.440
<v Speaker 2>you sort of hinted at some of these dating shows

671
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:27.400
<v Speaker 2>and seeing how people are on there, and there seems

672
00:40:27.400 --> 00:40:29.000
<v Speaker 2>to be a lot of them out there at the moment.

673
00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:33.480
<v Speaker 2>So for men, is it easy? Is it not easy?

674
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:37.679
<v Speaker 2>What's the situation there? You know we're talking about because

675
00:40:37.679 --> 00:40:39.000
<v Speaker 2>we're kind of you know, at the end of the day,

676
00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:41.280
<v Speaker 2>we have some married, married men on this call here,

677
00:40:41.760 --> 00:40:43.400
<v Speaker 2>But if you're not married, you're going to get to

678
00:40:43.440 --> 00:40:45.920
<v Speaker 2>that point. That's what Hilting your program is all about.

679
00:40:46.079 --> 00:40:49.320
<v Speaker 2>You believe that's what God would want for us. But

680
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:53.679
<v Speaker 2>how is that? I mean, where is the challenges there

681
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:57.840
<v Speaker 2>and what's been happening there? You know?

682
00:40:59.119 --> 00:41:01.519
<v Speaker 6>Before we go on, I want to say that with

683
00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:05.039
<v Speaker 6>regards to that last question about having good friends of

684
00:41:05.239 --> 00:41:10.280
<v Speaker 6>opposite gender, police write very clear that we must avoid

685
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:13.840
<v Speaker 6>the very appearance of evil. Even though you will have

686
00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:17.159
<v Speaker 6>nothing going on and you're very good friends. When you

687
00:41:17.239 --> 00:41:20.840
<v Speaker 6>become married, you don't want to be associated with your

688
00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:25.039
<v Speaker 6>best friend in a way that would give any kind

689
00:41:25.079 --> 00:41:28.960
<v Speaker 6>of suspicion. Right when it comes to that, then some

690
00:41:29.559 --> 00:41:33.440
<v Speaker 6>clear lines need to be drawn in the sand.

691
00:41:35.239 --> 00:41:38.400
<v Speaker 4>That was my point. That's why I said when.

692
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:42.960
<v Speaker 5>I was dating and I dated my wife, the moment

693
00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:46.519
<v Speaker 5>I met my wife, I had my friends, but I

694
00:41:46.679 --> 00:41:50.760
<v Speaker 5>no longer had I let them. I pushed them to

695
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:53.519
<v Speaker 5>the side because I was focusing on learning my wife

696
00:41:53.519 --> 00:41:56.920
<v Speaker 5>and getting to know her. So now I put all

697
00:41:56.920 --> 00:42:01.239
<v Speaker 5>my relationship into her. And I still kept some friends,

698
00:42:01.239 --> 00:42:02.880
<v Speaker 5>but some friends I have to let go because, like

699
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:04.800
<v Speaker 5>you said, I always just say to my wife, you

700
00:42:04.840 --> 00:42:06.719
<v Speaker 5>never put yourself in a situation that you know you

701
00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:10.079
<v Speaker 5>can't handle. So you never put yourself where you know

702
00:42:10.159 --> 00:42:13.079
<v Speaker 5>you may fail, So you have to let go of.

703
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:15.519
<v Speaker 5>And I'm just being real here because you have friends

704
00:42:15.559 --> 00:42:19.679
<v Speaker 5>that you know you and so just to make sure

705
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:23.039
<v Speaker 5>that I keep myself on the straight path. That's that's

706
00:42:23.039 --> 00:42:25.960
<v Speaker 5>how I did it. That's just me. But I just

707
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:28.400
<v Speaker 5>believe that, you know, we could be like that.

708
00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:34.840
<v Speaker 2>With any of those friends about that, did I yeah,

709
00:42:35.559 --> 00:42:37.360
<v Speaker 2>did you kind of sort of drop people or just not?

710
00:42:37.880 --> 00:42:38.000
<v Speaker 3>No?

711
00:42:38.039 --> 00:42:40.400
<v Speaker 5>I told them what they knew. They saw when they

712
00:42:40.400 --> 00:42:42.599
<v Speaker 5>saw that I had my I was dating my wife

713
00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:45.199
<v Speaker 5>at the time, my girlfriend. They knew how it was

714
00:42:45.239 --> 00:42:48.159
<v Speaker 5>because I was always transparent in that way, because I

715
00:42:48.199 --> 00:42:50.199
<v Speaker 5>always believed that you should put all your focus on

716
00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:53.480
<v Speaker 5>who you are who you're dating first. When I did date,

717
00:42:53.559 --> 00:42:57.960
<v Speaker 5>I dated multiple people I didn't like. I didn't like

718
00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:01.119
<v Speaker 5>what I wasn't conclusive. That wasn't just to just one person,

719
00:43:02.199 --> 00:43:04.039
<v Speaker 5>because I wanted to see who I like who I

720
00:43:04.360 --> 00:43:06.760
<v Speaker 5>so I would date like in a group bunch as friends,

721
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:10.639
<v Speaker 5>and then we all go out together. But then once

722
00:43:10.679 --> 00:43:14.199
<v Speaker 5>I once, if I start to feel somebody or felt

723
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:17.199
<v Speaker 5>one person or I met somebody, then I, you know,

724
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:19.119
<v Speaker 5>kind of pushed the rest of them away. I know

725
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:20.599
<v Speaker 5>that may sound way, but I just pushed them. I

726
00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:22.840
<v Speaker 5>didn't push them away like they was no longer in

727
00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:25.320
<v Speaker 5>my life. I just pushed them to the side a

728
00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:27.320
<v Speaker 5>little bit and then focused on who I was dating.

729
00:43:29.599 --> 00:43:32.400
<v Speaker 6>Okay, just to say that we are using some dated

730
00:43:32.840 --> 00:43:34.280
<v Speaker 6>times about dating.

731
00:43:34.559 --> 00:43:36.679
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, no, I know that's I'm saying. This is years ago,

732
00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:39.880
<v Speaker 5>so I know it's definitely changed. It's definitely changes then

733
00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:43.079
<v Speaker 5>I was, I admit this is I'm just saying it's

734
00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:46.239
<v Speaker 5>definitely changed. So I have no idea. I couldn't tell

735
00:43:46.239 --> 00:43:49.719
<v Speaker 5>you now what what the thing is now. I'm learning

736
00:43:49.719 --> 00:43:53.039
<v Speaker 5>with my son, So you know, I'm learning with my son.

737
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:55.440
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, Lord, we didn't do any of this stuff

738
00:43:55.480 --> 00:43:57.719
<v Speaker 5>back in the day.

739
00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:03.480
<v Speaker 6>It's a crazy world there actually, And so we're in

740
00:44:03.519 --> 00:44:08.199
<v Speaker 6>a renaissance, a romantic renaissance. We this term dating that

741
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:12.639
<v Speaker 6>was confusing the back in the day, and we're showing

742
00:44:12.719 --> 00:44:16.519
<v Speaker 6>that way of that generation that used that term. Then

743
00:44:16.719 --> 00:44:20.079
<v Speaker 6>you know there was a hook up culture then. Actually,

744
00:44:20.159 --> 00:44:26.519
<v Speaker 6>I really a report recently that young people, particularly of

745
00:44:26.840 --> 00:44:30.639
<v Speaker 6>the you know, college age, university age, they are now

746
00:44:31.599 --> 00:44:35.920
<v Speaker 6>the new term that they're using is that we're we're talking,

747
00:44:36.280 --> 00:44:41.719
<v Speaker 6>just talking, and they talk to these people and do

748
00:44:41.840 --> 00:44:44.000
<v Speaker 6>things with each other that it's crazy.

749
00:44:44.480 --> 00:44:51.840
<v Speaker 3>So the dating what didn't do things stand well?

750
00:44:51.880 --> 00:44:55.159
<v Speaker 6>I think well from a Christian perspective and a non

751
00:44:55.239 --> 00:45:00.280
<v Speaker 6>Christian person from a secular perspective, They literally sometimes times

752
00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:05.280
<v Speaker 6>would even move in with each other and before with

753
00:45:05.400 --> 00:45:11.440
<v Speaker 6>benefits or friends with benefits, but they use the term

754
00:45:11.519 --> 00:45:14.760
<v Speaker 6>they're just talking until they clarify in their head what

755
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:17.920
<v Speaker 6>they're going to do. But they are, they're involve and

756
00:45:18.079 --> 00:45:22.400
<v Speaker 6>engage with each other in a way that people who

757
00:45:22.440 --> 00:45:26.639
<v Speaker 6>are exclusive would be, but yet they haven't actually committed

758
00:45:26.760 --> 00:45:31.280
<v Speaker 6>to each other. And similar things have actually been transpiring

759
00:45:31.360 --> 00:45:35.280
<v Speaker 6>in the church. One of one of the things that

760
00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:38.320
<v Speaker 6>I see, well, there are couple of issues, major issues

761
00:45:38.920 --> 00:45:42.199
<v Speaker 6>that you know, Angela and many people that I speak

762
00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:51.480
<v Speaker 6>with areware is the unavailability of of illegible men right,

763
00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:55.119
<v Speaker 6>So that's that's one big major issues, an elephant in

764
00:45:55.159 --> 00:45:59.800
<v Speaker 6>the room. And secondly, men don't seem to be a

765
00:46:00.079 --> 00:46:04.679
<v Speaker 6>watching women the way back in our generation used to be,

766
00:46:04.840 --> 00:46:08.320
<v Speaker 6>so a lot of women are confused. They're not being approached.

767
00:46:08.920 --> 00:46:12.760
<v Speaker 6>The men are not. There are some men who do it,

768
00:46:14.320 --> 00:46:19.159
<v Speaker 6>but they are not taking the initiative. Even within the church,

769
00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:22.519
<v Speaker 6>you know, they're just not taking The majority of them

770
00:46:22.719 --> 00:46:25.199
<v Speaker 6>don't seem to be taking the initiative. There are some

771
00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:28.920
<v Speaker 6>of them who do, but that's a major issue that's

772
00:46:28.960 --> 00:46:31.920
<v Speaker 6>been flagged up. You know, men would talk and of

773
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:35.239
<v Speaker 6>course in the dating scene going out with each other,

774
00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:40.480
<v Speaker 6>and there's a lot of confusion about you know, you know,

775
00:46:40.559 --> 00:46:43.679
<v Speaker 6>if you go out, who should pay? Are we're going

776
00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:48.159
<v Speaker 6>to split the difference? And that is significant. I don't

777
00:46:48.159 --> 00:46:50.199
<v Speaker 6>know if you want me to speak about the significance

778
00:46:50.239 --> 00:46:55.280
<v Speaker 6>of that. And there is also a lot of women

779
00:46:55.760 --> 00:47:01.440
<v Speaker 6>who in the church are still traditional in the expectations

780
00:47:01.880 --> 00:47:02.639
<v Speaker 6>of men.

781
00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:06.079
<v Speaker 3>But sorry, I missed that part. I missed. I missed

782
00:47:06.119 --> 00:47:08.119
<v Speaker 3>that part in the church there, Well, there's still very

783
00:47:08.840 --> 00:47:10.920
<v Speaker 3>you said traditional.

784
00:47:11.480 --> 00:47:16.119
<v Speaker 6>Yes, that's.

785
00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:20.480
<v Speaker 3>You said. You say they're traditional, but they are traditional

786
00:47:20.639 --> 00:47:22.519
<v Speaker 3>when it comes to who's paying this, that, and the

787
00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:26.880
<v Speaker 3>other women have changed completely men and men are frightened

788
00:47:26.920 --> 00:47:29.679
<v Speaker 3>to talk to women because if they don't like you,

789
00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:32.280
<v Speaker 3>they're not going to talk to you very nicely and

790
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:33.880
<v Speaker 3>let you that easy. They talked to you in such

791
00:47:33.880 --> 00:47:36.719
<v Speaker 3>a way that it's trying for the guy next time

792
00:47:36.760 --> 00:47:41.239
<v Speaker 3>he talks to women. Masculine, very masculine.

793
00:47:41.599 --> 00:47:44.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Collettie, I'm interested to hear your kind of response

794
00:47:45.039 --> 00:47:47.480
<v Speaker 2>to what hill to say. Is that something that you

795
00:47:47.599 --> 00:47:51.400
<v Speaker 2>have found yourself as a single man who is on

796
00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:53.559
<v Speaker 2>the call? Yeah?

797
00:47:53.639 --> 00:47:54.039
<v Speaker 1>What is it?

798
00:47:54.119 --> 00:47:54.440
<v Speaker 8>How is that?

799
00:47:54.519 --> 00:47:56.599
<v Speaker 2>How? What's your observations of this? And how are you

800
00:47:56.639 --> 00:47:57.800
<v Speaker 2>seeing this in church?

801
00:47:58.199 --> 00:48:02.559
<v Speaker 7>As Swan said, the women, it's almost like that feminine

802
00:48:02.559 --> 00:48:07.920
<v Speaker 7>woman's gone. Hardly find that feminine women. The women they

803
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:10.480
<v Speaker 7>come across, what's that word?

804
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:11.719
<v Speaker 3>Something?

805
00:48:11.719 --> 00:48:15.960
<v Speaker 7>Man? What what's that word? No, there's another word the

806
00:48:16.039 --> 00:48:21.679
<v Speaker 7>boss check. My gosh. They're very authoritative and it's not attractive.

807
00:48:22.679 --> 00:48:26.000
<v Speaker 7>I'm on school, I'm on school. I like that feminine woman.

808
00:48:26.079 --> 00:48:28.679
<v Speaker 7>I want listen. But when they talk to you, they

809
00:48:28.679 --> 00:48:30.800
<v Speaker 7>don't even say excuse me, do you mind? They just

810
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:32.800
<v Speaker 7>come and oh you go pick. They're telling you that

811
00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:35.519
<v Speaker 7>you're a boy, and I don't know any real man

812
00:48:35.559 --> 00:48:37.800
<v Speaker 7>who's gonna just stand there, go Okay, where do you

813
00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:38.159
<v Speaker 7>want it?

814
00:48:38.320 --> 00:48:38.639
<v Speaker 6>No?

815
00:48:39.000 --> 00:48:41.239
<v Speaker 7>So I think that the roles with women and men.

816
00:48:41.320 --> 00:48:44.199
<v Speaker 7>And then some of the men help me on this one.

817
00:48:44.360 --> 00:48:47.800
<v Speaker 7>Some of the men have it jelly back. They just

818
00:48:47.960 --> 00:48:51.360
<v Speaker 7>accept anything coming, and I believe it's for Pea's sake,

819
00:48:51.719 --> 00:48:54.119
<v Speaker 7>rather than argue it. The women they'll just do it.

820
00:48:54.199 --> 00:48:56.000
<v Speaker 7>Just I'm only seeing that for a few hours.

821
00:48:56.039 --> 00:48:56.480
<v Speaker 3>Just do it.

822
00:48:56.840 --> 00:49:00.559
<v Speaker 7>I can't do that. They don't. When you're single, you're

823
00:49:00.559 --> 00:49:04.880
<v Speaker 7>supposed to present yourself, as you know, especially if you're single,

824
00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:08.360
<v Speaker 7>to present yourself a certain way and try some decorum. Man,

825
00:49:08.400 --> 00:49:09.920
<v Speaker 7>the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, the

826
00:49:09.960 --> 00:49:13.320
<v Speaker 7>way you know. So if the man's and I think

827
00:49:13.360 --> 00:49:15.760
<v Speaker 7>that what's happening now I can talk for my church.

828
00:49:16.119 --> 00:49:19.400
<v Speaker 7>The men are coming together and having discussions and it's

829
00:49:19.480 --> 00:49:22.679
<v Speaker 7>really is very informative. And I like that fact because

830
00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:24.960
<v Speaker 7>to me, I was one of them ignorant men who

831
00:49:25.039 --> 00:49:27.719
<v Speaker 7>didn't have a clue. And through taking time out and

832
00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:31.639
<v Speaker 7>reading and attending certain seminars, you can see your flaws

833
00:49:31.639 --> 00:49:33.920
<v Speaker 7>and you start to make changes. But it's like the

834
00:49:33.960 --> 00:49:36.639
<v Speaker 7>women have started. The women are behaving like how we

835
00:49:36.679 --> 00:49:39.159
<v Speaker 7>were and we're trying to we're getting sense, and it's

836
00:49:39.159 --> 00:49:43.800
<v Speaker 7>like they're getting the other way. So that's just my

837
00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:44.679
<v Speaker 7>little take on it.

838
00:49:46.239 --> 00:49:51.719
<v Speaker 2>Fantastic interesting, and obviously we are obviously can't generalize everybody,

839
00:49:51.719 --> 00:49:53.760
<v Speaker 2>and this is not the case for everybody, but I

840
00:49:53.800 --> 00:49:56.599
<v Speaker 2>guess I guess there are some patterns there that we

841
00:49:56.639 --> 00:49:58.480
<v Speaker 2>are seeing that and as you've said, there's been lots

842
00:49:58.519 --> 00:50:02.440
<v Speaker 2>of changes meilting yourkind of highlighting the kind of maybe

843
00:50:02.440 --> 00:50:05.960
<v Speaker 2>with it like a commitment, but people are quite still

844
00:50:06.039 --> 00:50:09.320
<v Speaker 2>very either quite intimate or quite committed in their actions,

845
00:50:09.599 --> 00:50:11.079
<v Speaker 2>but maybe not in their mindsets.

846
00:50:11.079 --> 00:50:15.880
<v Speaker 6>Possibly, Yeah, I tell you. The problem is, I think

847
00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:19.039
<v Speaker 6>one of the problems and one of the challenge is

848
00:50:19.079 --> 00:50:22.880
<v Speaker 6>that you know, women from the women's movement have actually

849
00:50:22.920 --> 00:50:28.159
<v Speaker 6>come into their own and they're making significant progress in

850
00:50:28.199 --> 00:50:32.239
<v Speaker 6>the workplace. They are being honored that they're in terms

851
00:50:32.280 --> 00:50:36.280
<v Speaker 6>of education, they're outstripping the men, and many of them

852
00:50:36.320 --> 00:50:40.639
<v Speaker 6>are suggesting and indicating that they're they're finding it difficult

853
00:50:40.719 --> 00:50:43.119
<v Speaker 6>to find men who can relate to them on the

854
00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:49.159
<v Speaker 6>level that they're at. And yes, there are some of

855
00:50:49.199 --> 00:50:53.719
<v Speaker 6>them who do come over in ways that we find

856
00:50:53.840 --> 00:50:57.400
<v Speaker 6>very offensive or put off. We're put off by that

857
00:50:57.519 --> 00:51:03.440
<v Speaker 6>type of behavior. And sometimes I don't even think that

858
00:51:03.519 --> 00:51:07.920
<v Speaker 6>they're being purposeful. I think that, you know, that's in

859
00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:10.360
<v Speaker 6>the workplace, that that's who they need to be in

860
00:51:10.559 --> 00:51:15.880
<v Speaker 6>order to progress and achieve what they're achieving, and that's

861
00:51:15.920 --> 00:51:18.360
<v Speaker 6>become a part of their nature.

862
00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:28.400
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, oh okay, I agree with.

863
00:51:30.119 --> 00:51:32.880
<v Speaker 7>I didn't go in deep like mister Samuel, but he's

864
00:51:32.960 --> 00:51:35.519
<v Speaker 7>right because you know what I think, because I know

865
00:51:35.639 --> 00:51:38.440
<v Speaker 7>quite a few women who they they have done quite well,

866
00:51:38.960 --> 00:51:41.880
<v Speaker 7>and they just have that go get it attitude and

867
00:51:42.639 --> 00:51:44.559
<v Speaker 7>it's almost like they don't know to switch it off.

868
00:51:45.039 --> 00:51:47.719
<v Speaker 7>It's just them, you know. Once I was watching this

869
00:51:47.719 --> 00:51:50.239
<v Speaker 7>this it was on YouTube. I was watching this lady

870
00:51:50.239 --> 00:51:53.239
<v Speaker 7>and she she she used the term strong black women,

871
00:51:53.840 --> 00:51:56.159
<v Speaker 7>and she said she would use it and felt very

872
00:51:57.159 --> 00:51:59.920
<v Speaker 7>validated using it. But she said one day she talked

873
00:52:00.079 --> 00:52:01.800
<v Speaker 7>one of her male friends and he said to her.

874
00:52:01.920 --> 00:52:04.519
<v Speaker 7>She said to him, how comes you guys? You know

875
00:52:04.719 --> 00:52:06.360
<v Speaker 7>the way you treat me. They said, you don't need

876
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:08.719
<v Speaker 7>no help, He said, you you always tell us about

877
00:52:08.719 --> 00:52:11.559
<v Speaker 7>this strong black woman. You don't need us, and we

878
00:52:12.079 --> 00:52:14.320
<v Speaker 7>don't feel like there's anything we can do to help you.

879
00:52:14.400 --> 00:52:17.039
<v Speaker 7>And it was really sad. And then she said, she

880
00:52:17.239 --> 00:52:18.840
<v Speaker 7>looked into it, and then she said she went and

881
00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:21.920
<v Speaker 7>studied about feminism and what it entailed, and then she

882
00:52:21.960 --> 00:52:26.519
<v Speaker 7>started to take it on for herself. She said that

883
00:52:26.559 --> 00:52:29.079
<v Speaker 7>the trend, she said, the change the way the men

884
00:52:29.239 --> 00:52:31.679
<v Speaker 7>dealt with her. She said, this is powerful. And now

885
00:52:31.679 --> 00:52:34.039
<v Speaker 7>she goes around teaching other women how to live in

886
00:52:34.079 --> 00:52:37.719
<v Speaker 7>your femininity because that when you're strong, when you're trying

887
00:52:37.719 --> 00:52:40.079
<v Speaker 7>to do that strong, the man is strong. So you

888
00:52:40.119 --> 00:52:42.639
<v Speaker 7>don't want to mean another strong person in that sense.

889
00:52:42.960 --> 00:52:45.039
<v Speaker 7>You want that week not weak, a vessel in the

890
00:52:45.119 --> 00:52:49.280
<v Speaker 7>sense of weet weet, but you want that tender person complimentary.

891
00:52:49.360 --> 00:52:51.400
<v Speaker 6>Let's put it not there, sir.

892
00:52:51.599 --> 00:52:55.920
<v Speaker 7>That's why I like that. Let him know the words. Yeah,

893
00:52:56.119 --> 00:53:00.840
<v Speaker 7>that's the right one. You ah, Jude, and you know something,

894
00:53:01.119 --> 00:53:03.800
<v Speaker 7>And we had many discussions. I always say that when

895
00:53:03.800 --> 00:53:06.000
<v Speaker 7>a woman cooks for a man, there's something about that food.

896
00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:08.039
<v Speaker 7>It's not like she's the great cook, but the fact

897
00:53:08.079 --> 00:53:10.599
<v Speaker 7>that she's prepared this food. And then I heard this

898
00:53:10.679 --> 00:53:13.199
<v Speaker 7>lady on youtu can't whatever I name. She's a psychologist.

899
00:53:13.480 --> 00:53:16.039
<v Speaker 7>She mentioned it yesterday. I thought, look at that. Someone

900
00:53:16.079 --> 00:53:21.199
<v Speaker 7>agree with me. You know, women wise, guys, collegi. But

901
00:53:21.199 --> 00:53:23.400
<v Speaker 7>when I say a church he said, Cechi, I don't

902
00:53:23.440 --> 00:53:26.159
<v Speaker 7>know where you get those things right, But because I'm

903
00:53:26.159 --> 00:53:30.320
<v Speaker 7>not the qualified, probably if Samone said it, it is

904
00:53:30.360 --> 00:53:32.920
<v Speaker 7>in stone. But when I say it, it's like, ah,

905
00:53:33.039 --> 00:53:37.039
<v Speaker 7>it's COLLEGI. You know, we all have wisdom, and I

906
00:53:37.079 --> 00:53:39.920
<v Speaker 7>think you're speaking some wisdom. And it doesn't matter who

907
00:53:39.960 --> 00:53:44.000
<v Speaker 7>he comes from. As long as it's truth and it's

908
00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:49.679
<v Speaker 7>a valid we should lean an ear and acknowledge and

909
00:53:49.960 --> 00:53:53.320
<v Speaker 7>acknowledge that. But here, here, I think the real question

910
00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:56.559
<v Speaker 7>is Angela. The real question is not really to.

911
00:53:56.960 --> 00:54:03.880
<v Speaker 6>Blame or shame any gender doing a question is about

912
00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:07.519
<v Speaker 6>how can we get together again?

913
00:54:08.519 --> 00:54:10.800
<v Speaker 3>Son asciate that with that point.

914
00:54:10.639 --> 00:54:12.519
<v Speaker 2>We're going to take a break. I'm going to hold

915
00:54:12.519 --> 00:54:14.679
<v Speaker 2>that and hold that thought. Sean. We're going to take

916
00:54:14.679 --> 00:54:16.639
<v Speaker 2>a music break here, and we're going to kind of

917
00:54:16.639 --> 00:54:18.079
<v Speaker 2>come back and we're going to delve a little bit

918
00:54:18.119 --> 00:54:20.800
<v Speaker 2>deeper into that question, because that's exactly what it is.

919
00:54:20.840 --> 00:54:24.599
<v Speaker 2>And I'm really curious from the male perspective how we

920
00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:27.000
<v Speaker 2>get it, because I guess men and women are going

921
00:54:27.039 --> 00:54:29.719
<v Speaker 2>to view things very differently. We see things very differently,

922
00:54:30.519 --> 00:54:33.039
<v Speaker 2>and how we approach things we can protect you very differently.

923
00:54:33.360 --> 00:54:36.840
<v Speaker 2>But could there be any amendment changes that actually could

924
00:54:36.960 --> 00:54:39.480
<v Speaker 2>make things much better and much easier. So thank you

925
00:54:39.599 --> 00:54:42.800
<v Speaker 2>for joining us. If you're just joining us, I should

926
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:45.880
<v Speaker 2>say welcome to Talking Points. And we've been having an

927
00:54:45.880 --> 00:54:49.880
<v Speaker 2>interesting conversation already, so if you've missed this part, do

928
00:54:50.159 --> 00:54:53.199
<v Speaker 2>listen back. You can listen back to our programs on

929
00:54:53.360 --> 00:54:56.920
<v Speaker 2>spreaker dot com. We podcast all our shows and we'll

930
00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:59.800
<v Speaker 2>talk about relationships today. So if you've got anything to share,

931
00:55:00.199 --> 00:55:03.599
<v Speaker 2>anything you'd like to like what you've heard so far,

932
00:55:04.039 --> 00:55:06.079
<v Speaker 2>or disagreed with what you've heard so far because we're

933
00:55:06.119 --> 00:55:08.920
<v Speaker 2>too interesting views there, do get in contact with us.

934
00:55:09.360 --> 00:55:13.360
<v Speaker 2>You can email us on the studio at Adventist Radio

935
00:55:13.519 --> 00:55:16.760
<v Speaker 2>dot London. You can send us a text on eight

936
00:55:16.840 --> 00:55:20.239
<v Speaker 2>triple two eight write hope lead space and then add

937
00:55:20.239 --> 00:55:22.880
<v Speaker 2>your message, or you can send us a Whatsap message

938
00:55:22.920 --> 00:55:27.159
<v Speaker 2>on zero seven four five nine six four two eight

939
00:55:27.400 --> 00:55:31.079
<v Speaker 2>nine eight. So we've been talking about relationships, and initially

940
00:55:31.119 --> 00:55:33.559
<v Speaker 2>we start off talking a little bit about friendships. And

941
00:55:33.920 --> 00:55:36.480
<v Speaker 2>you know how men connect, and there are definite differences

942
00:55:36.519 --> 00:55:40.199
<v Speaker 2>between men and women. We know this different type of connection.

943
00:55:40.400 --> 00:55:43.440
<v Speaker 2>Men do have friends, there sometimes is that concept that

944
00:55:43.480 --> 00:55:46.480
<v Speaker 2>they often don't. But maybe it's that they maybe don't

945
00:55:46.480 --> 00:55:50.519
<v Speaker 2>maintain those friendships in a similar kind of way. Then

946
00:55:50.559 --> 00:55:52.719
<v Speaker 2>we've started to talk a little bit about getting to

947
00:55:52.760 --> 00:55:57.800
<v Speaker 2>the point about getting married, but also but we want

948
00:55:57.800 --> 00:56:00.519
<v Speaker 2>to get to that point. So before the music break,

949
00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:04.159
<v Speaker 2>Hilton posed a question which we're going to kind of

950
00:56:04.199 --> 00:56:06.199
<v Speaker 2>explore a little bit as well. But before we do that,

951
00:56:06.920 --> 00:56:08.960
<v Speaker 2>we've got another guest on has joined us today. We've

952
00:56:08.960 --> 00:56:11.639
<v Speaker 2>got Mark Sempaul back on again. Mark is one of

953
00:56:11.679 --> 00:56:14.920
<v Speaker 2>our resident therapists. I would say, so it would be

954
00:56:14.920 --> 00:56:17.119
<v Speaker 2>good to thank you for joining us. Mark, I hope

955
00:56:17.119 --> 00:56:22.119
<v Speaker 2>you're well. Definitely good to be hearing your insights into

956
00:56:22.480 --> 00:56:26.760
<v Speaker 2>relational matters as we've been talking. So how are we today?

957
00:56:27.639 --> 00:56:31.079
<v Speaker 8>We're doing well. Thank you guys so much for inviting me.

958
00:56:32.920 --> 00:56:33.639
<v Speaker 8>Thank you so much.

959
00:56:34.440 --> 00:56:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Sure, okay, all right, So just before the music break,

960
00:56:37.800 --> 00:56:40.920
<v Speaker 2>Hilton posed a question we're talking about. We started to

961
00:56:40.920 --> 00:56:43.119
<v Speaker 2>talk a little bit about I'm going to use maybe

962
00:56:43.159 --> 00:56:46.679
<v Speaker 2>an old fashioned term dating, I guess maybe is it dating?

963
00:56:46.800 --> 00:56:50.920
<v Speaker 2>Is it called dating these days? Or as maybe I'm

964
00:56:51.000 --> 00:56:54.760
<v Speaker 2>saying that's my mom, I'm sounding old now or just

965
00:56:54.880 --> 00:56:58.360
<v Speaker 2>talking and what if that means? But Hilton poss a question,

966
00:56:58.920 --> 00:57:00.400
<v Speaker 2>really what we want to know is how do we

967
00:57:00.480 --> 00:57:04.039
<v Speaker 2>get together? So, Sean, you're about to make a point,

968
00:57:05.360 --> 00:57:07.320
<v Speaker 2>and I jumped in there just so we could take

969
00:57:07.360 --> 00:57:09.679
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a break to kind of regroup. So

970
00:57:10.239 --> 00:57:11.679
<v Speaker 2>your thoughts on that point.

971
00:57:13.360 --> 00:57:17.440
<v Speaker 3>Well, as I said before, men are different, women are different.

972
00:57:17.440 --> 00:57:19.559
<v Speaker 3>Even you said that in the beginning, Well, the guys

973
00:57:19.559 --> 00:57:22.480
<v Speaker 3>are saying the difference with the conversation, et cetera, et cetera.

974
00:57:23.119 --> 00:57:29.199
<v Speaker 3>Now I'm saying to you that a lot of women, no,

975
00:57:29.599 --> 00:57:31.199
<v Speaker 3>they're not going to date a guy who's a cleaner.

976
00:57:32.360 --> 00:57:35.519
<v Speaker 3>But a man, definitely, he doesn't care if she's a

977
00:57:35.559 --> 00:57:39.920
<v Speaker 3>cleaner what. He's just interested in meeting somebody that he

978
00:57:39.920 --> 00:57:42.440
<v Speaker 3>can get on and fall in love with. In general,

979
00:57:42.440 --> 00:57:44.280
<v Speaker 3>don't get wrong of this players out there. There's a

980
00:57:44.320 --> 00:57:47.079
<v Speaker 3>different kind of guys who you know, they're into a

981
00:57:47.079 --> 00:57:51.639
<v Speaker 3>different game. But most guys they don't care. But women

982
00:57:51.679 --> 00:57:55.400
<v Speaker 3>do care what man does. And I can understand it

983
00:57:55.639 --> 00:57:58.760
<v Speaker 3>from women's suspective in the sense of she's looking for

984
00:57:58.760 --> 00:58:01.000
<v Speaker 3>some somebody down the line provides for her children. She

985
00:58:01.039 --> 00:58:03.440
<v Speaker 3>wants children. She's saying, well, this guy is a better guy.

986
00:58:03.920 --> 00:58:06.400
<v Speaker 3>I really like this guy, but he's not earning any money.

987
00:58:09.599 --> 00:58:10.679
<v Speaker 2>Why do you think that is.

988
00:58:11.880 --> 00:58:15.320
<v Speaker 3>Hmm, Well, when you listen to all the programs on

989
00:58:15.360 --> 00:58:18.320
<v Speaker 3>a dating you hear all the women saying the same thing.

990
00:58:18.440 --> 00:58:21.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm not dating no guy working at McDonald's. It's a

991
00:58:21.360 --> 00:58:24.639
<v Speaker 3>regular thing. These are average girls out there. They said, no,

992
00:58:24.760 --> 00:58:26.679
<v Speaker 3>they don't want it. You're a woman, so you should

993
00:58:26.719 --> 00:58:28.320
<v Speaker 3>be able to give us a perspective on it more

994
00:58:28.320 --> 00:58:30.039
<v Speaker 3>than us you are guys.

995
00:58:33.880 --> 00:58:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Any thoughts on that or even maybe I'll come to

996
00:58:36.039 --> 00:58:39.360
<v Speaker 2>Mark actually to think actually from a is that something

997
00:58:39.360 --> 00:58:43.239
<v Speaker 2>that maybe you've seen? Is that to do with society's

998
00:58:43.320 --> 00:58:47.639
<v Speaker 2>expectations have really changed all the kinds of perception, Because Hilter,

999
00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:49.599
<v Speaker 2>you mention something about there's often a lot of and

1000
00:58:49.639 --> 00:58:51.480
<v Speaker 2>I've seen this as well. Is it a lot on

1001
00:58:51.519 --> 00:58:53.760
<v Speaker 2>social media in terms of the idea you go out

1002
00:58:53.800 --> 00:58:56.840
<v Speaker 2>on a date, who should pay? Should you split the bill?

1003
00:58:57.280 --> 00:58:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Should you the man pay? Should the woman pay?

1004
00:59:00.840 --> 00:59:01.079
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

1005
00:59:01.559 --> 00:59:03.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, so is that kind of is indicative of

1006
00:59:03.880 --> 00:59:06.880
<v Speaker 2>society in the way things have changed in that respect?

1007
00:59:07.000 --> 00:59:11.079
<v Speaker 6>So are you talking to me or Mark?

1008
00:59:10.840 --> 00:59:13.480
<v Speaker 2>That's a that's a question. I'm sorry, who wants to

1009
00:59:13.559 --> 00:59:14.000
<v Speaker 2>jump in?

1010
00:59:14.639 --> 00:59:16.800
<v Speaker 6>Okay, I don't know. I don't know if Mark has

1011
00:59:16.840 --> 00:59:22.119
<v Speaker 6>something to do a muscling there, and because he's joined later,

1012
00:59:22.119 --> 00:59:25.599
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if he wants to absorb what's going

1013
00:59:25.639 --> 00:59:30.039
<v Speaker 6>on before he commenced. But these are fresh questions that

1014
00:59:30.079 --> 00:59:36.800
<v Speaker 6>are being asked. So although I wanted to delve into

1015
00:59:38.119 --> 00:59:43.079
<v Speaker 6>how do we get together despite the differences and the

1016
00:59:43.199 --> 00:59:47.840
<v Speaker 6>challenges that we have, I would respond to the question. Yes,

1017
00:59:48.199 --> 00:59:51.639
<v Speaker 6>it has been observed that women tend to date across

1018
00:59:51.679 --> 00:59:54.960
<v Speaker 6>and up, and men then to tend to date across

1019
00:59:55.000 --> 01:00:00.280
<v Speaker 6>and down. That's general. Men tend to be attracted and

1020
01:00:00.920 --> 01:00:07.719
<v Speaker 6>innately go for people who display fertility in terms of

1021
01:00:08.199 --> 01:00:12.960
<v Speaker 6>you know, offspring, and that is usually women who are

1022
01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:18.079
<v Speaker 6>in the same age grange and younger and again want

1023
01:00:18.159 --> 01:00:20.719
<v Speaker 6>someone on the same level and also someone who is

1024
01:00:20.760 --> 01:00:26.159
<v Speaker 6>above them, you know. And I'm just that's just common

1025
01:00:26.239 --> 01:00:32.920
<v Speaker 6>ipso facto kind of empirical evidence and research evidence that

1026
01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:36.519
<v Speaker 6>we have seen. But there are things are changing, Things

1027
01:00:36.519 --> 01:00:41.239
<v Speaker 6>are changing. There are some more women who have come

1028
01:00:41.280 --> 01:00:44.599
<v Speaker 6>to the realization, well, you know, what they want is

1029
01:00:44.679 --> 01:00:47.480
<v Speaker 6>a good man, and they will tell me that he doesn't.

1030
01:00:47.559 --> 01:00:51.280
<v Speaker 6>Really what they're looking for is someone who has ambition.

1031
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:57.320
<v Speaker 6>He doesn't necessarily have to earn the same amount of wages.

1032
01:00:57.360 --> 01:01:03.280
<v Speaker 6>He's earning, even though if he earns less. They want

1033
01:01:03.360 --> 01:01:09.599
<v Speaker 6>someone who is ambitious, who has what is popularly known

1034
01:01:09.639 --> 01:01:13.119
<v Speaker 6>as a growth mindset, because we do know that we're

1035
01:01:13.159 --> 01:01:16.440
<v Speaker 6>all on a journey. You know, you could be working

1036
01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:21.480
<v Speaker 6>in McDonald's and studying a PhD. You could be between jobs.

1037
01:01:22.679 --> 01:01:27.599
<v Speaker 6>What women, and rightfully so don't want to condone is

1038
01:01:27.679 --> 01:01:31.840
<v Speaker 6>someone who's stuck at a certain level when they can

1039
01:01:32.159 --> 01:01:37.599
<v Speaker 6>and should improve themselves. Yeah, that's what I would like

1040
01:01:37.639 --> 01:01:42.039
<v Speaker 6>to say, say say on those ideas that Sean has

1041
01:01:42.079 --> 01:01:44.599
<v Speaker 6>pitched out there. There are lots of women now who

1042
01:01:44.639 --> 01:01:46.960
<v Speaker 6>are who tend to think they don't have to have

1043
01:01:47.360 --> 01:01:50.440
<v Speaker 6>someone with the same credentials as they have. They don't

1044
01:01:50.440 --> 01:01:54.119
<v Speaker 6>necessarily have to have someone who has more credentials. There

1045
01:01:54.119 --> 01:01:56.880
<v Speaker 6>are some people who recognize that they're making enough money,

1046
01:01:57.360 --> 01:02:01.760
<v Speaker 6>but they do want a certain caliber of and quality

1047
01:02:01.840 --> 01:02:06.519
<v Speaker 6>of person, someone who meets a certain certain level or

1048
01:02:06.519 --> 01:02:10.880
<v Speaker 6>certain criteria, or who is seen to be making progress

1049
01:02:11.199 --> 01:02:15.639
<v Speaker 6>in their lives. I don't know if you know your

1050
01:02:15.679 --> 01:02:20.000
<v Speaker 6>experience is different from me, Collecchi or even Pedro or

1051
01:02:20.039 --> 01:02:21.440
<v Speaker 6>Michael Byron or Mark.

1052
01:02:23.480 --> 01:02:26.199
<v Speaker 1>I think I think where we are right now. I

1053
01:02:26.199 --> 01:02:26.880
<v Speaker 1>think women.

1054
01:02:28.440 --> 01:02:34.960
<v Speaker 9>They I'm talking about women mainly in their fifties sixties.

1055
01:02:35.519 --> 01:02:37.199
<v Speaker 1>I think things have changed. I think what you're talking

1056
01:02:37.239 --> 01:02:38.800
<v Speaker 1>about is more kind of younger women.

1057
01:02:39.480 --> 01:02:43.880
<v Speaker 9>I think because women have had everything they've always wanted.

1058
01:02:43.920 --> 01:02:49.480
<v Speaker 9>Men just it's exactly how you've explained. But as they've

1059
01:02:49.519 --> 01:02:52.880
<v Speaker 9>got older and they're still on the shelf. And by

1060
01:02:52.920 --> 01:02:55.440
<v Speaker 9>the way, there really does need to be more women

1061
01:02:55.679 --> 01:02:59.639
<v Speaker 9>taking part in this kind of conversation because I kind

1062
01:02:59.639 --> 01:03:02.440
<v Speaker 9>of think so I know, there's a lot of women

1063
01:03:02.480 --> 01:03:05.559
<v Speaker 9>out there who they had a list. You know, he

1064
01:03:05.639 --> 01:03:09.400
<v Speaker 9>had to be six foot tall, good job, owned, house, owned, cart,

1065
01:03:09.719 --> 01:03:14.239
<v Speaker 9>et cetera. The years have gone by and they've had

1066
01:03:14.280 --> 01:03:16.639
<v Speaker 9>to kind of cross those things off the list. They're

1067
01:03:16.679 --> 01:03:21.599
<v Speaker 9>now single, and I think worst of all, the very

1068
01:03:22.840 --> 01:03:26.400
<v Speaker 9>women are not very upfront and coming forward. It's still

1069
01:03:26.440 --> 01:03:30.039
<v Speaker 9>down to the mats daughter running. And I always talk

1070
01:03:30.079 --> 01:03:32.519
<v Speaker 9>about years ago, perhaps when I was in America, how

1071
01:03:34.280 --> 01:03:36.519
<v Speaker 9>if a woman likes you, she'll make that kind of

1072
01:03:36.559 --> 01:03:41.320
<v Speaker 9>move you have. You have women now what we've always

1073
01:03:41.320 --> 01:03:45.679
<v Speaker 9>had women who who they're just not making any moves.

1074
01:03:46.480 --> 01:03:48.840
<v Speaker 9>They're waiting for a guy to come and talk to

1075
01:03:48.880 --> 01:03:52.239
<v Speaker 9>them to make that move. And they're getting older and older,

1076
01:03:52.920 --> 01:03:55.639
<v Speaker 9>and you know, I have. You know, I do a

1077
01:03:55.760 --> 01:03:59.840
<v Speaker 9>radio show and I have lots of listeners who are

1078
01:03:59.880 --> 01:04:03.880
<v Speaker 9>just single, single women, you know, because they've always had

1079
01:04:03.920 --> 01:04:11.199
<v Speaker 9>high expectations, you know, and yeah, basically they're just kind

1080
01:04:11.199 --> 01:04:11.800
<v Speaker 9>of single now.

1081
01:04:13.679 --> 01:04:16.159
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, Byron, just to get some clarity on what

1082
01:04:16.159 --> 01:04:20.400
<v Speaker 6>you're saying, are you talking on behalf of meta mature

1083
01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:22.519
<v Speaker 6>women in their forties and fifties.

1084
01:04:22.840 --> 01:04:24.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yes, I'm saying that the.

1085
01:04:26.559 --> 01:04:29.639
<v Speaker 9>Generally, if I look at a woman, who's who's I'm

1086
01:04:29.800 --> 01:04:31.400
<v Speaker 9>kind of really look at women in the kind of

1087
01:04:31.440 --> 01:04:33.559
<v Speaker 9>fifties and sixties because that's kind of my kind of

1088
01:04:33.599 --> 01:04:41.400
<v Speaker 9>age group, you know, I think women sometimes, Yes, it's

1089
01:04:41.440 --> 01:04:43.960
<v Speaker 9>down to personality. I'm not going to agree with so

1090
01:04:44.079 --> 01:04:49.760
<v Speaker 9>much about the kind of the guy having a the

1091
01:04:49.840 --> 01:04:54.320
<v Speaker 9>sort of status sometimes it is if you have the

1092
01:04:54.400 --> 01:04:58.639
<v Speaker 9>right kind of personality, yeah, that can canind of get

1093
01:04:58.639 --> 01:05:00.320
<v Speaker 9>it get you through. But the point I'm ma because

1094
01:05:00.360 --> 01:05:04.400
<v Speaker 9>that women are just sitting on the shelf kind of

1095
01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:06.079
<v Speaker 9>waiting to be plucked, if you know what I mean.

1096
01:05:06.119 --> 01:05:08.840
<v Speaker 9>I know that's all right sort of terminology, but they're

1097
01:05:08.840 --> 01:05:11.800
<v Speaker 9>not making any moves. You know, the right man is

1098
01:05:11.800 --> 01:05:14.199
<v Speaker 9>going to be in the in the same environment as them,

1099
01:05:14.559 --> 01:05:16.159
<v Speaker 9>But they're gonna they're never going to kind of make

1100
01:05:16.199 --> 01:05:16.559
<v Speaker 9>no move.

1101
01:05:17.719 --> 01:05:19.760
<v Speaker 6>They're still traditional in their approach.

1102
01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:28.719
<v Speaker 10>Very traditional, and yeah, I think that, if I be honest,

1103
01:05:29.920 --> 01:05:35.760
<v Speaker 10>not much as change from my perspective, even as a

1104
01:05:35.800 --> 01:05:37.880
<v Speaker 10>topless of therapy is and.

1105
01:05:37.760 --> 01:05:40.239
<v Speaker 8>So on, not much as change. I think what has

1106
01:05:40.360 --> 01:05:44.800
<v Speaker 8>change is that I think it's Barron talked about the

1107
01:05:44.800 --> 01:05:49.880
<v Speaker 8>women in the fifties and sixties. We didn't have social

1108
01:05:49.960 --> 01:05:55.360
<v Speaker 8>media at that time, and so we find now that

1109
01:05:56.079 --> 01:05:59.800
<v Speaker 8>the younger generation that have social media as speaking out

1110
01:06:00.280 --> 01:06:06.039
<v Speaker 8>and basically being bold about what the what they want.

1111
01:06:07.760 --> 01:06:12.639
<v Speaker 8>It hasn't changed because the women in the forty fifteen

1112
01:06:12.679 --> 01:06:15.159
<v Speaker 8>sixties was saying that it's just that we didn't have

1113
01:06:15.239 --> 01:06:19.280
<v Speaker 8>they didn't have social media, and so it was just

1114
01:06:19.360 --> 01:06:25.320
<v Speaker 8>said it in the little pockets that were created. I

1115
01:06:25.360 --> 01:06:28.880
<v Speaker 8>think that when we look at it from its true

1116
01:06:28.960 --> 01:06:33.639
<v Speaker 8>aspect culturally, we also have to look at it. I

1117
01:06:33.679 --> 01:06:37.000
<v Speaker 8>grew up on three different continents. I grew up in

1118
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:41.320
<v Speaker 8>South America, in North America, and I'm here in Europe.

1119
01:06:42.440 --> 01:06:46.960
<v Speaker 8>And basically I know in North America, if a young

1120
01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:50.760
<v Speaker 8>woman liked an individual, we would be bold about it

1121
01:06:50.760 --> 01:06:52.880
<v Speaker 8>and say this is it. But then you have the

1122
01:06:52.880 --> 01:06:55.760
<v Speaker 8>British culture and the Caribbean culture there is a little

1123
01:06:55.800 --> 01:07:00.719
<v Speaker 8>more conservative, but it hasn't changed. It's just that people

1124
01:07:00.840 --> 01:07:04.360
<v Speaker 8>are a little more bold in saying what they want.

1125
01:07:06.280 --> 01:07:11.440
<v Speaker 8>And I think that the generation, the younger generation, is

1126
01:07:11.480 --> 01:07:14.400
<v Speaker 8>a lot more bolder. They're a lot more out there.

1127
01:07:14.480 --> 01:07:18.440
<v Speaker 8>You have the different platforms that they're out there and

1128
01:07:18.480 --> 01:07:22.199
<v Speaker 8>they can speak their mind. But nothing really and truly

1129
01:07:22.239 --> 01:07:25.639
<v Speaker 8>has changed other than and even if you look at

1130
01:07:25.719 --> 01:07:31.079
<v Speaker 8>us as men again aage group, there are certain areas

1131
01:07:31.119 --> 01:07:34.840
<v Speaker 8>within age groups, you find that young men are a

1132
01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:39.039
<v Speaker 8>lot more passive when it comes to talking to a

1133
01:07:39.039 --> 01:07:44.239
<v Speaker 8>woman pursuing a woman, but in terms of choices in

1134
01:07:45.880 --> 01:07:48.440
<v Speaker 8>what a woman wants, and what a woman wants from

1135
01:07:48.440 --> 01:07:54.400
<v Speaker 8>a man basically is about someone that is willing to

1136
01:07:54.559 --> 01:07:59.840
<v Speaker 8>work the build. And I think that what has actually

1137
01:08:00.119 --> 01:08:04.679
<v Speaker 8>change is the role of men in society. I think

1138
01:08:04.719 --> 01:08:09.320
<v Speaker 8>we've been talking about the women, but we haven't talked

1139
01:08:09.400 --> 01:08:13.440
<v Speaker 8>about the role of men in society. Has made that

1140
01:08:13.480 --> 01:08:17.079
<v Speaker 8>shift because of the fact that now we don't have

1141
01:08:17.720 --> 01:08:23.359
<v Speaker 8>the bread winner of the home anymore, because the women

1142
01:08:23.520 --> 01:08:28.399
<v Speaker 8>are more educated, they're making more money, they are more independent,

1143
01:08:28.760 --> 01:08:32.399
<v Speaker 8>and so the men's role has changed. And I think

1144
01:08:33.279 --> 01:08:38.079
<v Speaker 8>as men, we haven't caught up. And I think that's

1145
01:08:38.159 --> 01:08:42.079
<v Speaker 8>the problem that we have men role in the for

1146
01:08:42.159 --> 01:08:45.119
<v Speaker 8>a forty year old, fifty year old, sixty year old,

1147
01:08:45.680 --> 01:08:49.840
<v Speaker 8>you know, they were a bad winner. Not anymore. A

1148
01:08:49.880 --> 01:08:52.600
<v Speaker 8>woman is bringing in a paycheck as much as us

1149
01:08:52.600 --> 01:08:55.600
<v Speaker 8>and even more most if you look at the people

1150
01:08:55.640 --> 01:08:59.600
<v Speaker 8>that are going into university and finishing universities and colleges

1151
01:08:59.760 --> 01:09:03.560
<v Speaker 8>are more women than young men. And the role as

1152
01:09:03.760 --> 01:09:08.800
<v Speaker 8>men has changed. We as men have not caught up

1153
01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:13.880
<v Speaker 8>with the whole idea that basically the bread winner rule,

1154
01:09:14.239 --> 01:09:21.840
<v Speaker 8>it's phasing out. That's what I need to say.

1155
01:09:20.119 --> 01:09:25.199
<v Speaker 6>Ma'am Mark you yeah, Oh sorry, did I jump ahead

1156
01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:25.560
<v Speaker 6>of someone?

1157
01:09:25.640 --> 01:09:25.840
<v Speaker 8>No?

1158
01:09:25.840 --> 01:09:28.359
<v Speaker 2>No, no, go ahead, godad Yeah.

1159
01:09:29.279 --> 01:09:32.720
<v Speaker 6>I think Mark is onto something. I won't use the

1160
01:09:32.880 --> 01:09:35.840
<v Speaker 6>term that think that nothing has actually changed. Many things

1161
01:09:35.840 --> 01:09:40.600
<v Speaker 6>have changed, as you know, for one, the way we date,

1162
01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:46.479
<v Speaker 6>of using the term date, it has actually changed about

1163
01:09:47.000 --> 01:09:51.840
<v Speaker 6>In fact, I heard its statistics about thirty something percent

1164
01:09:51.880 --> 01:09:58.159
<v Speaker 6>of people are meeting their spouses online now through dating apps,

1165
01:09:58.239 --> 01:10:02.560
<v Speaker 6>through dating sights, through you know, so that in and

1166
01:10:02.600 --> 01:10:06.840
<v Speaker 6>of itself, at the online culture is just it's a

1167
01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:13.800
<v Speaker 6>new culture. It's probably the last twenty forty you know,

1168
01:10:14.319 --> 01:10:19.920
<v Speaker 6>very very recent culture, and I agree that we haven't

1169
01:10:19.920 --> 01:10:25.560
<v Speaker 6>actually changed significantly, but there are lots of changes that's

1170
01:10:25.600 --> 01:10:31.600
<v Speaker 6>going around and around us, so that in itself is

1171
01:10:31.600 --> 01:10:37.000
<v Speaker 6>a total different ballgame. You mentioned, and I agree that

1172
01:10:37.359 --> 01:10:41.239
<v Speaker 6>the younger generation, they seem to be quite fine with

1173
01:10:41.880 --> 01:10:45.840
<v Speaker 6>women instigating relationship if they like you and they want

1174
01:10:45.880 --> 01:10:48.920
<v Speaker 6>to go out with you. That has changed. Byron was

1175
01:10:48.920 --> 01:10:54.159
<v Speaker 6>speaking about the older generation. The mature generation still expecting

1176
01:10:54.239 --> 01:10:59.039
<v Speaker 6>sitting around. They're expecting to be approached, to be pursued,

1177
01:10:59.680 --> 01:11:03.920
<v Speaker 6>to be asked out, to be treated in the traditional

1178
01:11:04.359 --> 01:11:09.479
<v Speaker 6>chivalrous manner. And that is creating a problem because you know,

1179
01:11:11.680 --> 01:11:14.560
<v Speaker 6>men are not as approaching as much now as before.

1180
01:11:15.720 --> 01:11:18.600
<v Speaker 6>And the million dollar question that we need to look at,

1181
01:11:18.760 --> 01:11:21.920
<v Speaker 6>both for men and for women is what do we do,

1182
01:11:22.760 --> 01:11:27.159
<v Speaker 6>How do we bridge the divide, how do we get,

1183
01:11:28.439 --> 01:11:31.479
<v Speaker 6>like you said, Mark, how do we catch up with

1184
01:11:31.520 --> 01:11:35.239
<v Speaker 6>what has gone what's going on? And I don't think

1185
01:11:35.239 --> 01:11:39.119
<v Speaker 6>it's an easy conversation to just, you know, flippantly say okay,

1186
01:11:39.159 --> 01:11:41.279
<v Speaker 6>well do you need to do this or that. We

1187
01:11:41.319 --> 01:11:48.520
<v Speaker 6>need some practical, pragmatic ideas to make things happen and

1188
01:11:48.600 --> 01:11:52.199
<v Speaker 6>to help people to know, well, look, this is probably

1189
01:11:52.199 --> 01:11:55.520
<v Speaker 6>what you can do. This is how we have engaged.

1190
01:11:55.640 --> 01:11:58.920
<v Speaker 6>We need to engage and have a conversation, and this

1191
01:11:59.000 --> 01:12:02.239
<v Speaker 6>is the way that we need to progress in order

1192
01:12:02.319 --> 01:12:08.479
<v Speaker 6>for people, both young people, young adults, adults and mature

1193
01:12:09.479 --> 01:12:14.439
<v Speaker 6>people because before that they, you know, mature people were

1194
01:12:14.520 --> 01:12:15.079
<v Speaker 6>coupled up.

1195
01:12:15.520 --> 01:12:17.000
<v Speaker 2>Now we have more and more.

1196
01:12:16.880 --> 01:12:20.239
<v Speaker 6>Mature people who are singles who still want to be

1197
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:25.960
<v Speaker 6>in relationship. Just weeks ago, a woman who is sixty

1198
01:12:26.399 --> 01:12:30.720
<v Speaker 6>seventy five told me that she wants to get married.

1199
01:12:32.720 --> 01:12:35.520
<v Speaker 6>You know, people in their sixties, like Byron, they do

1200
01:12:35.680 --> 01:12:39.600
<v Speaker 6>want to get married. So we still have to address

1201
01:12:39.640 --> 01:12:43.840
<v Speaker 6>the elephant in the room. How do we help these

1202
01:12:43.880 --> 01:12:47.560
<v Speaker 6>people find fulfilling relationships, both men and women.

1203
01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:54.479
<v Speaker 9>It's difficult when you have it's difficult when you have.

1204
01:12:53.319 --> 01:12:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Have people who are kind of mature.

1205
01:12:56.800 --> 01:12:59.119
<v Speaker 9>They're setting their ways, they have a certain mindset in

1206
01:12:59.199 --> 01:13:03.800
<v Speaker 9>terms of with women, you know. And I don't know

1207
01:13:03.800 --> 01:13:05.479
<v Speaker 9>if it's just in my field where there is a

1208
01:13:05.520 --> 01:13:11.119
<v Speaker 9>certain mindset of black men and there's a there's a hesitance.

1209
01:13:13.800 --> 01:13:15.479
<v Speaker 9>You know, we're not seeing in a very good light

1210
01:13:16.760 --> 01:13:19.159
<v Speaker 9>and you have to jump over hoops.

1211
01:13:18.960 --> 01:13:19.159
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1212
01:13:22.079 --> 01:13:25.880
<v Speaker 9>So I don't know, I really don't know how you

1213
01:13:26.079 --> 01:13:28.560
<v Speaker 9>change that mindset. And I think it's a mindset thing.

1214
01:13:28.640 --> 01:13:33.439
<v Speaker 9>You know, generally we have you know, we've traditionally just

1215
01:13:33.520 --> 01:13:39.199
<v Speaker 9>had dances where people get together and you know, but

1216
01:13:40.239 --> 01:13:45.199
<v Speaker 9>that's not conducive to conversation, is it. You know, For

1217
01:13:45.840 --> 01:13:51.079
<v Speaker 9>a woman who's you know, sixty, who's set in her ways,

1218
01:13:51.359 --> 01:13:54.079
<v Speaker 9>who would like to be in a relationship, I'm not

1219
01:13:54.119 --> 01:13:57.520
<v Speaker 9>too sure where she goes, because sometimes it has to

1220
01:13:57.560 --> 01:14:00.920
<v Speaker 9>be a mindset change on her part. I think men

1221
01:14:00.960 --> 01:14:04.319
<v Speaker 9>have been kind of burned over the years. We've taken

1222
01:14:04.359 --> 01:14:09.680
<v Speaker 9>an air lashin and and so even in the dances

1223
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:11.520
<v Speaker 9>where I am, because I'll kind of put on events

1224
01:14:11.560 --> 01:14:14.840
<v Speaker 9>and stuff like that, you know, guys saying dance with

1225
01:14:14.920 --> 01:14:17.279
<v Speaker 9>women the way they used to because of this whole

1226
01:14:17.319 --> 01:14:18.079
<v Speaker 9>rejection thing.

1227
01:14:19.640 --> 01:14:20.560
<v Speaker 1>So I don't know.

1228
01:14:20.760 --> 01:14:23.079
<v Speaker 9>I think sometimes i'd like to hear. I'd like to

1229
01:14:23.119 --> 01:14:26.119
<v Speaker 9>hear from the ladies what they want from us.

1230
01:14:26.920 --> 01:14:27.159
<v Speaker 4>You know.

1231
01:14:29.920 --> 01:14:34.479
<v Speaker 8>Let me just let me clarify a few things when

1232
01:14:34.520 --> 01:14:38.079
<v Speaker 8>I say that nothing hasn't changed. Okay, let me give

1233
01:14:38.119 --> 01:14:41.479
<v Speaker 8>you an idea. When are people in the wind Rush

1234
01:14:41.600 --> 01:14:48.319
<v Speaker 8>generation for men for the family. You have to remember

1235
01:14:48.399 --> 01:14:54.600
<v Speaker 8>that the church, the society was more for protection, you know,

1236
01:14:55.159 --> 01:14:57.960
<v Speaker 8>the small island, and you hear all the folks talk

1237
01:14:58.000 --> 01:15:02.159
<v Speaker 8>about the small island people we need as a society

1238
01:15:02.279 --> 01:15:06.880
<v Speaker 8>come a new society coming into England, we basically form

1239
01:15:07.359 --> 01:15:14.479
<v Speaker 8>group support groups. Even churches were support groups. Our children,

1240
01:15:14.560 --> 01:15:20.880
<v Speaker 8>their children and children's children don't need the church or

1241
01:15:20.920 --> 01:15:28.279
<v Speaker 8>these support groups anymore because these kids are not Jamaican, Trinidad, Young's,

1242
01:15:28.319 --> 01:15:31.920
<v Speaker 8>Guyanese or these children are British and so as far

1243
01:15:31.960 --> 01:15:35.119
<v Speaker 8>as they are concerned, they don't need to huddle in

1244
01:15:35.359 --> 01:15:40.680
<v Speaker 8>a church, a church, a community center or whatever it is.

1245
01:15:40.840 --> 01:15:45.800
<v Speaker 8>They can have church like how we're talking online. Okay,

1246
01:15:46.319 --> 01:15:51.560
<v Speaker 8>things hasn't changed from that perspective. So then what has

1247
01:15:51.720 --> 01:15:56.840
<v Speaker 8>changed is that instead of as I think, if Barron

1248
01:15:57.399 --> 01:16:00.479
<v Speaker 8>just talked about a woman in our sixties, she gonna

1249
01:16:00.520 --> 01:16:05.800
<v Speaker 8>have to basically go into a community of people to

1250
01:16:05.920 --> 01:16:14.039
<v Speaker 8>find that individual to basically marry because the online online

1251
01:16:14.199 --> 01:16:17.319
<v Speaker 8>is going a little too fast for her. So for

1252
01:16:17.359 --> 01:16:21.840
<v Speaker 8>her to basically do the old style of things assessing

1253
01:16:21.920 --> 01:16:24.680
<v Speaker 8>this brother and whatever it is, you know she's gonna

1254
01:16:24.720 --> 01:16:27.600
<v Speaker 8>have to basically do that. Online is not gonna wait

1255
01:16:27.680 --> 01:16:30.000
<v Speaker 8>for her. She gotta eat a swipe, let force wipe

1256
01:16:30.079 --> 01:16:35.279
<v Speaker 8>right and hope that what where. When I swipe right,

1257
01:16:35.760 --> 01:16:41.960
<v Speaker 8>I basically get someone good. The problem with that in

1258
01:16:42.079 --> 01:16:48.960
<v Speaker 8>terms of how this works is that anxiety moving a

1259
01:16:49.359 --> 01:16:55.000
<v Speaker 8>very fast space. The same the same rules we used

1260
01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:59.880
<v Speaker 8>to fet people is still in place. It's just that

1261
01:17:00.079 --> 01:17:04.800
<v Speaker 8>people are not basically huddling long enough. That is why

1262
01:17:04.800 --> 01:17:07.520
<v Speaker 8>we have the online dating and all these things happening,

1263
01:17:07.800 --> 01:17:12.000
<v Speaker 8>because we don't have those little pockets of community to

1264
01:17:12.119 --> 01:17:16.079
<v Speaker 8>basically interact with each other. So we all have to

1265
01:17:16.159 --> 01:17:19.119
<v Speaker 8>do one thing. I'm busy, I just came off of

1266
01:17:19.159 --> 01:17:21.199
<v Speaker 8>work at nine o'clock in the night. If I'm a

1267
01:17:21.239 --> 01:17:23.840
<v Speaker 8>single man, where am I going to find a young woman?

1268
01:17:24.119 --> 01:17:27.079
<v Speaker 8>A woman to it at this point in time? I

1269
01:17:27.199 --> 01:17:30.800
<v Speaker 8>just I work in nine to nine time is of

1270
01:17:30.880 --> 01:17:34.760
<v Speaker 8>the efsence. So then I have to basically join the

1271
01:17:34.920 --> 01:17:39.560
<v Speaker 8>online to basically either swipe left or swipe right. So

1272
01:17:39.800 --> 01:17:44.279
<v Speaker 8>the difference is that we don't have that community of

1273
01:17:44.560 --> 01:17:49.840
<v Speaker 8>people that basically stay tactic in different community centers, in

1274
01:17:49.960 --> 01:17:54.840
<v Speaker 8>different churches. Everybody basically is having a community in their

1275
01:17:55.039 --> 01:17:58.479
<v Speaker 8>own home. So for you to basically get to me,

1276
01:17:59.439 --> 01:18:03.359
<v Speaker 8>you're going to have to basically come to me via

1277
01:18:04.640 --> 01:18:10.479
<v Speaker 8>social media, which is in my own home. And that's

1278
01:18:10.520 --> 01:18:13.920
<v Speaker 8>how it is. So, this is what is happening to us.

1279
01:18:14.079 --> 01:18:17.319
<v Speaker 8>Another thing that is happening is because we have a

1280
01:18:17.359 --> 01:18:23.680
<v Speaker 8>lot of men with a lot of low self esteem.

1281
01:18:23.960 --> 01:18:27.479
<v Speaker 8>Men are not in the older days, and the older

1282
01:18:27.520 --> 01:18:31.079
<v Speaker 8>guys will say men are bold and the society bold

1283
01:18:31.239 --> 01:18:36.479
<v Speaker 8>enough to basically what we've done is basically men who

1284
01:18:36.479 --> 01:18:40.359
<v Speaker 8>are bold enough to take an rejection and basically move

1285
01:18:40.399 --> 01:18:42.039
<v Speaker 8>on to the next person.

1286
01:18:43.119 --> 01:18:43.560
<v Speaker 2>The moment.

1287
01:18:46.199 --> 01:18:48.399
<v Speaker 8>And I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that you

1288
01:18:48.439 --> 01:18:50.600
<v Speaker 8>should have shouldn't, but listen to me, Listen to me

1289
01:18:50.680 --> 01:18:58.079
<v Speaker 8>out here. Most of us grew up with single mothers. True, Okay,

1290
01:18:58.720 --> 01:19:03.079
<v Speaker 8>a woman can only give a man, a young man

1291
01:19:03.520 --> 01:19:08.960
<v Speaker 8>how to actually real emotionally. A single mother cannot teach

1292
01:19:09.159 --> 01:19:14.680
<v Speaker 8>a young man how to think rationally. She can only

1293
01:19:14.760 --> 01:19:19.479
<v Speaker 8>do that emotionally. Okay, you need a father in the

1294
01:19:19.600 --> 01:19:26.479
<v Speaker 8>home actually show a young man how to actually think logically. No,

1295
01:19:27.520 --> 01:19:33.159
<v Speaker 8>men or brains are not created to think emotionally. We

1296
01:19:33.359 --> 01:19:37.000
<v Speaker 8>are logical beings. Most of the young men that are

1297
01:19:37.079 --> 01:19:45.680
<v Speaker 8>presenting presenting with emotional issues. I and everybody hurting my feelings.

1298
01:19:45.760 --> 01:19:51.039
<v Speaker 8>At this pointing time, the older men didn't care about

1299
01:19:51.119 --> 01:19:56.760
<v Speaker 8>who hurt their feelings. So what we have is a

1300
01:19:56.760 --> 01:20:01.960
<v Speaker 8>generation of men. Think the Jamaican DJ put it well

1301
01:20:02.199 --> 01:20:05.880
<v Speaker 8>that he said who djits cannot operate on the same

1302
01:20:06.000 --> 01:20:10.680
<v Speaker 8>stage the same time, one will cancel out the other.

1303
01:20:12.079 --> 01:20:16.239
<v Speaker 8>A man and a woman cannot come into a home emotionally,

1304
01:20:16.800 --> 01:20:21.239
<v Speaker 8>one cancel out the other. You need a logical person

1305
01:20:21.399 --> 01:20:24.199
<v Speaker 8>and an emotional person in the home, and the two

1306
01:20:24.680 --> 01:20:29.079
<v Speaker 8>basically create a wonderful balance. But when you have a

1307
01:20:29.119 --> 01:20:34.600
<v Speaker 8>young man behaving emotionally, thinking emotionally, and he takes a

1308
01:20:34.600 --> 01:20:40.640
<v Speaker 8>young woman in the home, they will clash.

1309
01:20:40.800 --> 01:20:44.319
<v Speaker 3>I agree with that, But there are there are guys

1310
01:20:44.359 --> 01:20:47.600
<v Speaker 3>who grew up with their fathers, so you know, I mean,

1311
01:20:47.600 --> 01:20:49.640
<v Speaker 3>there are guys that are out there that Greek with

1312
01:20:49.640 --> 01:20:52.159
<v Speaker 3>their fathers. So obviously you're right in what you're saying

1313
01:20:52.159 --> 01:20:55.920
<v Speaker 3>about the emotional base. But I think I think there's

1314
01:20:55.960 --> 01:20:59.880
<v Speaker 3>a lot of people still today who my son is.

1315
01:21:00.359 --> 01:21:03.039
<v Speaker 3>He's what twenty twenty nine, he says he's not into

1316
01:21:03.079 --> 01:21:06.960
<v Speaker 3>the He's not he's not into the internet. He says

1317
01:21:06.960 --> 01:21:09.640
<v Speaker 3>he's definitely into the internet. He goes out, he talks

1318
01:21:09.640 --> 01:21:12.880
<v Speaker 3>to women, he goes places, just like when I was younger. Right,

1319
01:21:13.159 --> 01:21:15.039
<v Speaker 3>his friends have found people to get married the internet,

1320
01:21:15.039 --> 01:21:16.800
<v Speaker 3>but he says, nah, I don't need to. I can

1321
01:21:16.920 --> 01:21:18.960
<v Speaker 3>talk every week man. Why they need to go on

1322
01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:21.000
<v Speaker 3>the internet for But I'll be honest with you, if

1323
01:21:21.000 --> 01:21:23.760
<v Speaker 3>I was a person who was single, I would choose

1324
01:21:23.760 --> 01:21:28.079
<v Speaker 3>the internet because number One, I just look at the person,

1325
01:21:28.199 --> 01:21:31.600
<v Speaker 3>read the profile, get in contact with them. I think

1326
01:21:31.600 --> 01:21:35.239
<v Speaker 3>it's an easier way Personally myself, I wouldn't be going

1327
01:21:35.239 --> 01:21:37.560
<v Speaker 3>to know club. I would go to a club or

1328
01:21:37.600 --> 01:21:40.800
<v Speaker 3>a party. If I was looking for younger women, I

1329
01:21:40.800 --> 01:21:42.880
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't do it. But my son said, my son does

1330
01:21:42.880 --> 01:21:44.600
<v Speaker 3>what what I would used to do when I'm younger.

1331
01:21:45.520 --> 01:21:48.399
<v Speaker 3>He's out and about talking this, that and the other.

1332
01:21:48.479 --> 01:21:53.319
<v Speaker 3>But I look at even lots of church guys. They're

1333
01:21:53.319 --> 01:21:55.760
<v Speaker 3>at church, and to be honest with you, I'm not

1334
01:21:55.800 --> 01:21:58.039
<v Speaker 3>being rude enough enough. He I've been rude, but a

1335
01:21:58.039 --> 01:21:59.840
<v Speaker 3>lot of the women in church just not look after him.

1336
01:21:59.880 --> 01:22:03.239
<v Speaker 3>So off they want a guy and they don't look

1337
01:22:03.239 --> 01:22:05.319
<v Speaker 3>after I know you might think I'm rude, but I'm

1338
01:22:05.319 --> 01:22:06.640
<v Speaker 3>saying a lot of women like where they used to

1339
01:22:06.640 --> 01:22:10.760
<v Speaker 3>look after themselves, make them so presentable, so they don't

1340
01:22:10.760 --> 01:22:12.680
<v Speaker 3>make them self presentable. And number two, the way they

1341
01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:15.560
<v Speaker 3>talk to the men, I'm like, nah, man, I would

1342
01:22:15.960 --> 01:22:19.560
<v Speaker 3>I go from church to church. I'm married and I'm

1343
01:22:19.600 --> 01:22:21.600
<v Speaker 3>looking at for women from my friends, and I tell

1344
01:22:21.640 --> 01:22:24.720
<v Speaker 3>him straight, I didn't see anybody in these churches. I

1345
01:22:24.720 --> 01:22:26.880
<v Speaker 3>tell him straight, I don't see anybody. I said, maybe

1346
01:22:26.920 --> 01:22:29.039
<v Speaker 3>the odd woman i'd see or whatever that i'd recommend,

1347
01:22:29.079 --> 01:22:31.800
<v Speaker 3>But I said, I don't see them. But anyway, let

1348
01:22:31.840 --> 01:22:33.760
<v Speaker 3>me stop talking before Angela not to be on the head.

1349
01:22:34.800 --> 01:22:37.680
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm interested in because one of my questions would

1350
01:22:37.720 --> 01:22:40.520
<v Speaker 2>be maybe later, so what can women do to support that?

1351
01:22:40.560 --> 01:22:43.359
<v Speaker 2>Because as the Hilton start off saying, the question was

1352
01:22:43.600 --> 01:22:46.479
<v Speaker 2>how do people get together? But there were a lot

1353
01:22:46.479 --> 01:22:49.720
<v Speaker 2>of factors. Because it was interesting, and thank you Byron

1354
01:22:49.800 --> 01:22:53.800
<v Speaker 2>coming in to join the conversation. You obviously it seems

1355
01:22:53.800 --> 01:22:57.079
<v Speaker 2>to be disparao or quite a big difference between the ages,

1356
01:22:57.560 --> 01:22:59.560
<v Speaker 2>because I think earlier on in the conversation we were

1357
01:22:59.560 --> 01:23:02.119
<v Speaker 2>talking about how men are scared to talk to women,

1358
01:23:02.640 --> 01:23:04.239
<v Speaker 2>and Mark, you're talking about how men used to be

1359
01:23:04.279 --> 01:23:06.760
<v Speaker 2>a lot more bolder with approachure women. If you see

1360
01:23:06.760 --> 01:23:08.880
<v Speaker 2>something you like them, you will talk to them. As

1361
01:23:08.920 --> 01:23:11.880
<v Speaker 2>you get older, maybe that doesn't happen quite so much.

1362
01:23:11.960 --> 01:23:14.760
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know whether I don't and I don't

1363
01:23:14.800 --> 01:23:17.640
<v Speaker 2>know what the reason is for that necessarily, but you know,

1364
01:23:18.199 --> 01:23:18.600
<v Speaker 2>I can think.

1365
01:23:18.920 --> 01:23:23.000
<v Speaker 3>I think the reason simple angel women women have changed

1366
01:23:23.039 --> 01:23:26.199
<v Speaker 3>so much. They're better men out there, the way they

1367
01:23:26.199 --> 01:23:28.840
<v Speaker 3>talk to them, right, who are you talking to?

1368
01:23:30.439 --> 01:23:30.840
<v Speaker 6>You just think?

1369
01:23:30.880 --> 01:23:33.439
<v Speaker 3>You know? I went to a shop last night, Me

1370
01:23:33.479 --> 01:23:35.760
<v Speaker 3>and my friend went to a shop at the picture station.

1371
01:23:35.800 --> 01:23:37.960
<v Speaker 3>I said something to the women, and I'm thinking, typically

1372
01:23:37.960 --> 01:23:40.199
<v Speaker 3>typical this is that these new women are man you

1373
01:23:40.239 --> 01:23:42.239
<v Speaker 3>can't even you can't even be you can't be nice

1374
01:23:42.279 --> 01:23:44.520
<v Speaker 3>to them. I've been to a shop before I said

1375
01:23:44.520 --> 01:23:48.239
<v Speaker 3>something to women just just being pleasant. I'm like, boy,

1376
01:23:48.359 --> 01:23:51.000
<v Speaker 3>you know what, if I was a younger, I won't

1377
01:23:51.000 --> 01:23:52.239
<v Speaker 3>be talking to women either.

1378
01:23:52.560 --> 01:23:55.880
<v Speaker 2>Isn't that women have changed or have changed? Or have

1379
01:23:55.920 --> 01:23:56.720
<v Speaker 2>we all changed?

1380
01:23:56.840 --> 01:23:59.000
<v Speaker 5>I think I think what show is saying is cultial.

1381
01:23:59.039 --> 01:24:02.279
<v Speaker 5>I think women just have a expectation of men that

1382
01:24:02.319 --> 01:24:05.479
<v Speaker 5>they just like I'm very polite, so like I'll say

1383
01:24:05.479 --> 01:24:08.039
<v Speaker 5>good afternoon, and they'll look at me like I want something.

1384
01:24:08.560 --> 01:24:10.600
<v Speaker 5>They don't respect, like a man want something from them.

1385
01:24:10.760 --> 01:24:14.079
<v Speaker 5>We just can't be polite and say hey, how you're doing.

1386
01:24:14.439 --> 01:24:17.600
<v Speaker 5>It's almost like they want us to be what's the

1387
01:24:17.600 --> 01:24:22.000
<v Speaker 5>word not ghetto, like gangster. They want us to be gangster.

1388
01:24:22.640 --> 01:24:24.279
<v Speaker 5>A lot of like a lot of women want you

1389
01:24:24.399 --> 01:24:25.720
<v Speaker 5>to be rough, but then they don't want you to

1390
01:24:25.760 --> 01:24:27.239
<v Speaker 5>be rough. They want you to be rough, but they

1391
01:24:27.279 --> 01:24:29.640
<v Speaker 5>also want you to be sensitive. They can't make up

1392
01:24:29.680 --> 01:24:32.560
<v Speaker 5>their mind what they want sometimes, and so you you,

1393
01:24:32.720 --> 01:24:34.880
<v Speaker 5>I just you could just say hello and they'll look

1394
01:24:34.880 --> 01:24:36.920
<v Speaker 5>at you like you like you stole something. You're just like,

1395
01:24:36.960 --> 01:24:39.439
<v Speaker 5>I'm just saying hello, you know, that's it, And they

1396
01:24:39.479 --> 01:24:41.920
<v Speaker 5>give you like the most illness look that you like,

1397
01:24:43.319 --> 01:24:45.239
<v Speaker 5>why why are you gonna act like that? Even opening

1398
01:24:45.279 --> 01:24:47.119
<v Speaker 5>the door for them or something like, they won't say nothing.

1399
01:24:47.159 --> 01:24:49.000
<v Speaker 5>They just walk right past you.

1400
01:24:49.000 --> 01:24:49.239
<v Speaker 4>You know.

1401
01:24:49.279 --> 01:24:54.800
<v Speaker 5>They they just don't no respond, They don't respond to kindness.

1402
01:24:54.800 --> 01:24:56.720
<v Speaker 5>Sometimes that's the best way I can put it.

1403
01:24:57.319 --> 01:25:01.119
<v Speaker 3>Women have Women have changed so much, even in the church,

1404
01:25:01.159 --> 01:25:04.479
<v Speaker 3>they have changed so much. Yeah, and I think.

1405
01:25:05.720 --> 01:25:09.079
<v Speaker 6>Something here we need to be very careful. I don't

1406
01:25:09.159 --> 01:25:11.119
<v Speaker 6>like the man bashing and the woman bashing.

1407
01:25:11.199 --> 01:25:15.560
<v Speaker 5>I'm not bashing, you know, I'm not bashing.

1408
01:25:15.600 --> 01:25:17.439
<v Speaker 4>I think we're like Shna saying, I think we're just

1409
01:25:17.479 --> 01:25:17.960
<v Speaker 4>talking real.

1410
01:25:18.000 --> 01:25:21.680
<v Speaker 5>But I think I'm not trying to bash a woman

1411
01:25:21.680 --> 01:25:23.159
<v Speaker 5>because there's plenty of good women out there.

1412
01:25:23.520 --> 01:25:25.439
<v Speaker 3>You know, you know, Petro, Petro, you know what I think.

1413
01:25:25.439 --> 01:25:28.439
<v Speaker 3>You're just trying to be really corrected.

1414
01:25:29.800 --> 01:25:34.920
<v Speaker 5>I'm the last one, pet Sorry, not you the other

1415
01:25:35.000 --> 01:25:35.720
<v Speaker 5>guy speaking.

1416
01:25:35.800 --> 01:25:37.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you want to if you if you want a

1417
01:25:37.960 --> 01:25:42.840
<v Speaker 3>real conversation, have a real conversation. You you look at it.

1418
01:25:42.840 --> 01:25:45.439
<v Speaker 3>Look at the most American election just finished. All the

1419
01:25:45.479 --> 01:25:50.159
<v Speaker 3>women are crying because Camilla Harris never got in. They

1420
01:25:50.159 --> 01:25:53.279
<v Speaker 3>were thinking. They weren't thinking about the bills and this,

1421
01:25:53.319 --> 01:25:55.239
<v Speaker 3>that and the other. They were thinking about abortions, this

1422
01:25:55.239 --> 01:25:57.520
<v Speaker 3>that and the other. Now you just jumped and said

1423
01:25:57.800 --> 01:26:01.159
<v Speaker 3>we're bashing. We're not bashing nobody. Would just be real

1424
01:26:01.479 --> 01:26:02.880
<v Speaker 3>if you don't want to real.

1425
01:26:03.119 --> 01:26:07.319
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, there are women who who react where that you

1426
01:26:07.399 --> 01:26:10.399
<v Speaker 6>are speaking about, and they are women who are quite

1427
01:26:10.439 --> 01:26:16.640
<v Speaker 6>polite and decent. And the impression from on what you're

1428
01:26:16.680 --> 01:26:19.079
<v Speaker 6>saying that do you think that most women.

1429
01:26:19.359 --> 01:26:23.399
<v Speaker 3>I'm generalizing the old women. I'm generalizing. I'm actually generalized.

1430
01:26:23.439 --> 01:26:25.319
<v Speaker 3>I'm not not all women. There are some lovely women

1431
01:26:25.359 --> 01:26:28.520
<v Speaker 3>out there, but I'm generalizing about women, and I'm being

1432
01:26:28.520 --> 01:26:32.520
<v Speaker 3>real about this. I'm being real that women really only

1433
01:26:32.520 --> 01:26:36.439
<v Speaker 3>pick up men, they never date down. And that's the real.

1434
01:26:36.520 --> 01:26:37.520
<v Speaker 3>That's real talk days.

1435
01:26:37.680 --> 01:26:39.399
<v Speaker 2>The thing is so sure as the only one on

1436
01:26:39.399 --> 01:26:41.600
<v Speaker 2>this platform right now, would there be any should there

1437
01:26:41.640 --> 01:26:44.600
<v Speaker 2>be anything wrong with that? Because equally it's interesting you're

1438
01:26:44.600 --> 01:26:48.159
<v Speaker 2>talking about how women may speak to men. I know

1439
01:26:48.199 --> 01:26:50.720
<v Speaker 2>I've been in situations and I've really not been impressed

1440
01:26:50.720 --> 01:26:52.920
<v Speaker 2>by the way I've been approached by a man, how

1441
01:26:52.920 --> 01:26:55.920
<v Speaker 2>I've been spoken to. And I think to myself, well, actually,

1442
01:26:56.319 --> 01:26:58.279
<v Speaker 2>if I do have a standard and hold myself in

1443
01:26:58.359 --> 01:27:01.039
<v Speaker 2>high regard, et cetera, I'd like someone to match that.

1444
01:27:01.920 --> 01:27:03.920
<v Speaker 2>So I know, I'm not going to be rude to somebody.

1445
01:27:04.039 --> 01:27:07.640
<v Speaker 2>I'll be polite on what happens. I'm just I'm just saying.

1446
01:27:07.640 --> 01:27:09.399
<v Speaker 2>So I think to myself when it's race to say

1447
01:27:09.600 --> 01:27:12.319
<v Speaker 2>women have changed, but I wonder whether we've all changed

1448
01:27:12.359 --> 01:27:15.960
<v Speaker 2>and society has created an environment that's not always conducive

1449
01:27:16.039 --> 01:27:18.039
<v Speaker 2>to good.

1450
01:27:18.640 --> 01:27:20.840
<v Speaker 3>You've always had a section of men who were getting

1451
01:27:21.159 --> 01:27:23.800
<v Speaker 3>of course, you're always from day one, you had a

1452
01:27:23.840 --> 01:27:29.119
<v Speaker 3>certain man coming woman to you. You've always had that right.

1453
01:27:29.119 --> 01:27:33.159
<v Speaker 3>But I'm telling you, women have definitely changed in my view.

1454
01:27:33.720 --> 01:27:36.600
<v Speaker 3>And I listened to a lot of women talking. I

1455
01:27:36.680 --> 01:27:39.119
<v Speaker 3>listened to a lot of shows. I'm like, Wow, the

1456
01:27:39.159 --> 01:27:42.840
<v Speaker 3>women have really up their game. And as I said before,

1457
01:27:43.239 --> 01:27:46.359
<v Speaker 3>women in general, you'll get the odd women I'm generalizing,

1458
01:27:47.239 --> 01:27:49.640
<v Speaker 3>they're not picking up no guy that works at McDonald's.

1459
01:27:50.279 --> 01:27:53.359
<v Speaker 3>They don't want him. Yeah, I mean they don't want him,

1460
01:27:53.640 --> 01:27:56.119
<v Speaker 3>simple as that. You could be the nicest guy talking

1461
01:27:56.159 --> 01:27:58.520
<v Speaker 3>to nice Now I don't want him. I'm thinking about

1462
01:27:58.520 --> 01:28:01.079
<v Speaker 3>my You know, this guy can't advice from this. The

1463
01:28:01.079 --> 01:28:02.079
<v Speaker 3>guy is not thinking about that.

1464
01:28:02.920 --> 01:28:03.880
<v Speaker 6>The guys just thinking.

1465
01:28:03.920 --> 01:28:06.359
<v Speaker 3>Boy, if I fall in love and I've seen a

1466
01:28:06.399 --> 01:28:09.399
<v Speaker 3>woman that I know, yeah, she picked up this guy

1467
01:28:09.399 --> 01:28:11.920
<v Speaker 3>from church. She wasn't doing too well for himself. She

1468
01:28:12.079 --> 01:28:14.520
<v Speaker 3>turned this guy out to be one of the greatest guys.

1469
01:28:15.119 --> 01:28:16.239
<v Speaker 3>And I look at and I said, you know what

1470
01:28:16.239 --> 01:28:18.439
<v Speaker 3>you've done really well. You know, you picked up that

1471
01:28:18.479 --> 01:28:21.119
<v Speaker 3>guy there, right, and you made him into something. And

1472
01:28:21.159 --> 01:28:23.720
<v Speaker 3>I admire her even to when I said, yeah, man,

1473
01:28:23.760 --> 01:28:25.479
<v Speaker 3>that's good, and I see, I said, look, you're on

1474
01:28:25.600 --> 01:28:27.960
<v Speaker 3>your own house, you've got no mortgage. The two of

1475
01:28:28.000 --> 01:28:29.760
<v Speaker 3>you are doing well. She picked him up and she

1476
01:28:30.199 --> 01:28:32.479
<v Speaker 3>helped him hold him. Women, a woman don't want to

1477
01:28:32.479 --> 01:28:34.760
<v Speaker 3>do that already made already quick. One just put the

1478
01:28:34.800 --> 01:28:35.640
<v Speaker 3>water and it mixed up.

1479
01:28:35.920 --> 01:28:36.199
<v Speaker 4>And that.

1480
01:28:38.399 --> 01:28:40.880
<v Speaker 2>Again, is that reflective? Of our kind of fast culture

1481
01:28:40.880 --> 01:28:43.920
<v Speaker 2>and fast society. Yeah, I wonder is it's indicative all

1482
01:28:43.920 --> 01:28:47.199
<v Speaker 2>those things? Lots of factors involved in there. Anyway, I'm

1483
01:28:47.199 --> 01:28:48.680
<v Speaker 2>talking too much to let these other guys.

1484
01:28:51.000 --> 01:28:55.239
<v Speaker 6>The challenge is how do we change that? And what

1485
01:28:55.439 --> 01:28:59.239
<v Speaker 6>advice would we would we give the women that you

1486
01:28:59.359 --> 01:29:02.720
<v Speaker 6>are speaking about. There are classes of women like that.

1487
01:29:03.880 --> 01:29:08.640
<v Speaker 6>There are other classes of women who think h the

1488
01:29:08.680 --> 01:29:14.279
<v Speaker 6>way you're thinking about men that the men like Angela

1489
01:29:14.319 --> 01:29:18.239
<v Speaker 6>said that her experience, one of the experiences that she

1490
01:29:18.399 --> 01:29:21.159
<v Speaker 6>has had, that she was turned off by the way

1491
01:29:21.159 --> 01:29:26.000
<v Speaker 6>she was being spoken to. And my question is how

1492
01:29:26.079 --> 01:29:28.920
<v Speaker 6>do we change and what do we do? Given the

1493
01:29:29.359 --> 01:29:32.199
<v Speaker 6>We could sit here and you know, do all the

1494
01:29:32.239 --> 01:29:35.239
<v Speaker 6>analysis about you know, women and men, but.

1495
01:29:35.920 --> 01:29:36.479
<v Speaker 7>What do we do?

1496
01:29:36.600 --> 01:29:37.920
<v Speaker 6>How do we move forward?

1497
01:29:39.159 --> 01:29:39.439
<v Speaker 8>You have.

1498
01:29:41.359 --> 01:29:44.760
<v Speaker 9>Women, You need women to contribute. You can't solve that

1499
01:29:44.880 --> 01:29:47.640
<v Speaker 9>problem there. You need women to kind of answer that question.

1500
01:29:47.760 --> 01:29:53.119
<v Speaker 2>Really, But I think in this in this instance we've

1501
01:29:53.119 --> 01:29:54.079
<v Speaker 2>got the men here talking.

1502
01:29:54.199 --> 01:29:59.600
<v Speaker 5>I think my opinion, I think a woman. When I

1503
01:29:59.600 --> 01:30:04.119
<v Speaker 5>got ma, I was broken. My wife, like Sean said,

1504
01:30:04.359 --> 01:30:06.840
<v Speaker 5>he met, he knows of a woman. My wife lifted

1505
01:30:06.880 --> 01:30:08.600
<v Speaker 5>me up and made me a better man than I

1506
01:30:08.640 --> 01:30:12.159
<v Speaker 5>am today. I was a single. My mom raised me

1507
01:30:12.239 --> 01:30:14.560
<v Speaker 5>up till about fourteen. Then she got married. I had

1508
01:30:14.560 --> 01:30:16.239
<v Speaker 5>a stepfather. He told me how to be a man,

1509
01:30:17.000 --> 01:30:20.279
<v Speaker 5>but I still have my issues from the past and

1510
01:30:20.279 --> 01:30:23.000
<v Speaker 5>then my so I would say, like, I think it's

1511
01:30:23.079 --> 01:30:26.680
<v Speaker 5>just a collaboration of both parties working together. So the wife,

1512
01:30:27.119 --> 01:30:30.119
<v Speaker 5>the woman doesn't put down the man, because I think

1513
01:30:30.159 --> 01:30:34.199
<v Speaker 5>a lot of times if the woman is looking at

1514
01:30:34.239 --> 01:30:36.439
<v Speaker 5>something and the man doesn't have it, she's like, why

1515
01:30:36.479 --> 01:30:39.479
<v Speaker 5>can't you have that? Then the man feels less than

1516
01:30:39.840 --> 01:30:44.600
<v Speaker 5>so always making the gentleman feel like he's even if

1517
01:30:44.600 --> 01:30:47.680
<v Speaker 5>he's working at McDonald's, he's got a job, he's doing

1518
01:30:47.720 --> 01:30:50.359
<v Speaker 5>the best he can. All right, let's he would let's

1519
01:30:50.399 --> 01:30:52.560
<v Speaker 5>move up from McDonald's to subway.

1520
01:30:53.399 --> 01:30:56.720
<v Speaker 4>I mean, you know, like yeah, like take baby steps.

1521
01:30:56.439 --> 01:30:59.880
<v Speaker 5>Gotta gotta gotta build gradually. It may take a while,

1522
01:30:59.880 --> 01:31:01.960
<v Speaker 5>but you gotta build gradually. You need you need a

1523
01:31:02.000 --> 01:31:05.119
<v Speaker 5>woman that's gonna uplift you, that's gonna be there for you,

1524
01:31:05.319 --> 01:31:07.880
<v Speaker 5>gonna ride or die with you. And and this is

1525
01:31:07.920 --> 01:31:11.239
<v Speaker 5>something that a woman then has to understand that sometimes

1526
01:31:11.239 --> 01:31:13.880
<v Speaker 5>she may have to I won't say subtle for less,

1527
01:31:13.880 --> 01:31:17.039
<v Speaker 5>but she's gonna have to settle for love, because I

1528
01:31:17.079 --> 01:31:19.760
<v Speaker 5>think some women don't settle for love. They like a man,

1529
01:31:20.239 --> 01:31:22.279
<v Speaker 5>he falls in love of woman. He don't care what

1530
01:31:22.399 --> 01:31:26.560
<v Speaker 5>she has. He just loves her. Yeah, definitely, And I

1531
01:31:26.640 --> 01:31:28.560
<v Speaker 5>know Hilton is like webbing his head, so I know

1532
01:31:28.600 --> 01:31:30.239
<v Speaker 5>he's got something to say about that.

1533
01:31:30.960 --> 01:31:33.439
<v Speaker 4>I am I saying the wrong thing, Hilton.

1534
01:31:33.560 --> 01:31:33.960
<v Speaker 3>You can.

1535
01:31:35.359 --> 01:31:37.800
<v Speaker 6>I agree with that point that you made that you know,

1536
01:31:38.119 --> 01:31:43.119
<v Speaker 6>we tend to just love. But similarly, there are some women.

1537
01:31:43.239 --> 01:31:45.000
<v Speaker 6>Once they love you, they love you.

1538
01:31:45.560 --> 01:31:48.159
<v Speaker 5>Yes, right, And then that goes to where the man

1539
01:31:48.199 --> 01:31:51.920
<v Speaker 5>has to then put in the work and every reciprocal

1540
01:31:52.039 --> 01:31:54.600
<v Speaker 5>of what the woman is giving him, and not be

1541
01:31:54.720 --> 01:31:57.640
<v Speaker 5>closed off, and not be closed minded, and not be

1542
01:31:57.760 --> 01:32:00.319
<v Speaker 5>selfish and just do things. And like I'm a man,

1543
01:32:00.640 --> 01:32:04.640
<v Speaker 5>I like we have to work together. I'm the man

1544
01:32:04.680 --> 01:32:06.920
<v Speaker 5>of the house. But my wife is my partner. So

1545
01:32:06.960 --> 01:32:09.800
<v Speaker 5>I tell her what. I tell her everything. I tell her,

1546
01:32:09.840 --> 01:32:11.920
<v Speaker 5>even if it's even if I know she's gonna get mad,

1547
01:32:12.760 --> 01:32:16.000
<v Speaker 5>I tell her because that way we can both fix

1548
01:32:16.039 --> 01:32:19.680
<v Speaker 5>the problem together. Don't try to fix everything yourself as

1549
01:32:19.680 --> 01:32:21.279
<v Speaker 5>a male. Just because you're the male, don't mean you

1550
01:32:21.279 --> 01:32:24.680
<v Speaker 5>have to fix everything yourself. Some things my wife will

1551
01:32:24.760 --> 01:32:26.800
<v Speaker 5>confer to me be like, you know what, you handle that.

1552
01:32:27.479 --> 01:32:29.840
<v Speaker 5>But then some things she'll say, hey, can I help you?

1553
01:32:30.520 --> 01:32:31.520
<v Speaker 4>What do you need?

1554
01:32:31.880 --> 01:32:36.880
<v Speaker 5>Like you know, like it's called constant communication. Communicationation is

1555
01:32:36.920 --> 01:32:40.479
<v Speaker 5>something that if you both do that you can make

1556
01:32:40.560 --> 01:32:42.800
<v Speaker 5>you can make it work. You can make it work

1557
01:32:43.000 --> 01:32:44.920
<v Speaker 5>no matter how much money you got, how much money

1558
01:32:44.920 --> 01:32:48.680
<v Speaker 5>you don't have. It's just you're still you're you're working together.

1559
01:32:49.439 --> 01:32:51.680
<v Speaker 3>Suret's say something.

1560
01:32:52.319 --> 01:32:55.359
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, what I want to say to that, you're going shot?

1561
01:32:55.479 --> 01:32:55.960
<v Speaker 6>Gone shot?

1562
01:32:57.840 --> 01:33:01.600
<v Speaker 3>Well, well, I know of men. Yeah, when a woman

1563
01:33:01.640 --> 01:33:05.600
<v Speaker 3>lifts up a man, you do anything for her. This

1564
01:33:05.680 --> 01:33:07.560
<v Speaker 3>is what I know about men.

1565
01:33:06.520 --> 01:33:06.640
<v Speaker 4>Men.

1566
01:33:07.720 --> 01:33:11.800
<v Speaker 3>Men are really providers. Yeah, you've got a woman that's

1567
01:33:11.840 --> 01:33:14.720
<v Speaker 3>lifting you up. Yeah, you're doing everything for you. Just

1568
01:33:14.800 --> 01:33:17.039
<v Speaker 3>love and you think, you know what, this woman makes

1569
01:33:17.039 --> 01:33:19.680
<v Speaker 3>me feel really good and I'm going to do better

1570
01:33:19.760 --> 01:33:21.800
<v Speaker 3>for myself. That's what I know about men in general. Yeah,

1571
01:33:22.199 --> 01:33:23.920
<v Speaker 3>and it's three things that please men. I'm not going

1572
01:33:23.920 --> 01:33:27.039
<v Speaker 3>to say over the pei, but one of them is

1573
01:33:27.039 --> 01:33:28.479
<v Speaker 3>when you come through the door, the woman makes you

1574
01:33:28.520 --> 01:33:32.640
<v Speaker 3>feel like a king. Right. Food is another one, right,

1575
01:33:32.680 --> 01:33:34.319
<v Speaker 3>and you said the third one. But I'm just saying

1576
01:33:34.560 --> 01:33:37.039
<v Speaker 3>a man would do anything for women. And that's how

1577
01:33:37.079 --> 01:33:38.640
<v Speaker 3>I know men to be the men that I know.

1578
01:33:40.640 --> 01:33:43.520
<v Speaker 3>And also, you do need a man in the house.

1579
01:33:43.560 --> 01:33:45.520
<v Speaker 3>Like the other guy said, if you if you grow

1580
01:33:45.560 --> 01:33:47.239
<v Speaker 3>up without a father. A lot of women grow up

1581
01:33:47.279 --> 01:33:52.319
<v Speaker 3>without a father and their mom's telling them things about men,

1582
01:33:52.479 --> 01:33:54.199
<v Speaker 3>and they just come and they've got a picture about

1583
01:33:54.199 --> 01:33:56.840
<v Speaker 3>a man, and that is really affecting a lot of men.

1584
01:33:57.199 --> 01:33:59.439
<v Speaker 3>They've got a lot of baggage that they come with.

1585
01:33:59.479 --> 01:34:03.119
<v Speaker 3>And the guys thinking about, oh, what's going on. What's

1586
01:34:03.159 --> 01:34:03.600
<v Speaker 3>going on?

1587
01:34:04.479 --> 01:34:06.319
<v Speaker 4>They see they see how the mother treats man.

1588
01:34:06.399 --> 01:34:07.039
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, and.

1589
01:34:08.640 --> 01:34:09.960
<v Speaker 4>You know what, I mean, what are you gonna do?

1590
01:34:10.640 --> 01:34:13.079
<v Speaker 3>You've got that kind of baggage with a woman she's

1591
01:34:13.079 --> 01:34:15.199
<v Speaker 3>not willing to learn because her mama's trained. Look, I

1592
01:34:15.279 --> 01:34:16.600
<v Speaker 3>just said this quickly. I was in the gym the

1593
01:34:16.600 --> 01:34:19.600
<v Speaker 3>other day. Yeah, with a guy. Yeah, so he says,

1594
01:34:19.640 --> 01:34:22.960
<v Speaker 3>he goes another nationality whatever, So cracked a joke and

1595
01:34:23.000 --> 01:34:27.199
<v Speaker 3>he goes, look, I'm not marrying a black woman. He said,

1596
01:34:27.199 --> 01:34:30.000
<v Speaker 3>I've got seven seven sisters or six sisters, and the

1597
01:34:30.039 --> 01:34:33.000
<v Speaker 3>way my mam has trained them, there's no way marrying

1598
01:34:33.039 --> 01:34:36.319
<v Speaker 3>one of them. And I just started laughing, right, and

1599
01:34:36.359 --> 01:34:38.560
<v Speaker 3>we just banged and bantered. But a lot of guys

1600
01:34:38.560 --> 01:34:42.720
<v Speaker 3>say that just the mom's upbringing, telling the daughters this,

1601
01:34:42.760 --> 01:34:45.119
<v Speaker 3>that and the other just puts men off.

1602
01:34:46.199 --> 01:34:46.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

1603
01:34:46.520 --> 01:34:49.319
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I would like to say a couple of points there.

1604
01:34:49.439 --> 01:34:51.840
<v Speaker 6>First of all, from a Christian centeric point of view,

1605
01:34:52.359 --> 01:34:56.760
<v Speaker 6>much of what you have and Petrow have said that

1606
01:34:57.399 --> 01:35:00.239
<v Speaker 6>the way we are created, God said, Look, it's not

1607
01:35:00.239 --> 01:35:02.039
<v Speaker 6>good for a man to be alone. Let us make

1608
01:35:02.079 --> 01:35:05.920
<v Speaker 6>for him a help meet, a helper. And so we

1609
01:35:05.920 --> 01:35:10.279
<v Speaker 6>were designed to help each other to go and develop

1610
01:35:10.359 --> 01:35:15.239
<v Speaker 6>and you know, build together. And when we could collaborate

1611
01:35:15.640 --> 01:35:21.880
<v Speaker 6>as a team, like Petro said, despite all weaknesses, each

1612
01:35:21.960 --> 01:35:24.880
<v Speaker 6>complimenting the other, we can actually go over very far.

1613
01:35:26.920 --> 01:35:29.079
<v Speaker 6>And that's what marriage is for. You know, there's a

1614
01:35:29.079 --> 01:35:31.680
<v Speaker 6>book that recently came out called Marriage, written by this

1615
01:35:31.800 --> 01:35:36.840
<v Speaker 6>professor from Virginia University, and where he showed all the

1616
01:35:37.199 --> 01:35:42.319
<v Speaker 6>evidences from all the research that have been done over wide,

1617
01:35:42.600 --> 01:35:47.560
<v Speaker 6>over a vast number of years, all pointing to that

1618
01:35:47.880 --> 01:35:50.760
<v Speaker 6>marriage is good for human beings. It's good for men,

1619
01:35:51.159 --> 01:35:54.079
<v Speaker 6>good for women, it's good for children, it's good for society.

1620
01:35:56.000 --> 01:36:01.079
<v Speaker 6>And yes we have dysfunctional families, Yes we have women

1621
01:36:01.199 --> 01:36:06.640
<v Speaker 6>who respond the way you you identify. But the thing

1622
01:36:06.760 --> 01:36:09.800
<v Speaker 6>is the thing is, there is a reason why they

1623
01:36:09.920 --> 01:36:12.760
<v Speaker 6>responding that way. There is a reason. Whatever the reason

1624
01:36:12.840 --> 01:36:19.319
<v Speaker 6>may be. Could be the way the parent brainwash them,

1625
01:36:19.680 --> 01:36:25.279
<v Speaker 6>it could be the culture. However, I think deep you know,

1626
01:36:25.359 --> 01:36:28.119
<v Speaker 6>a mark I think was alluding to something like that,

1627
01:36:28.720 --> 01:36:32.880
<v Speaker 6>deep within all of us, deep within those women, deep

1628
01:36:32.920 --> 01:36:38.359
<v Speaker 6>within the men, is the desire to come together, to collaborate.

1629
01:36:38.960 --> 01:36:43.560
<v Speaker 6>The way we go about it might be counterproductive and inefficient.

1630
01:36:44.359 --> 01:36:48.399
<v Speaker 6>The weather respond you know, from a Christian center point

1631
01:36:48.439 --> 01:36:51.159
<v Speaker 6>of view, you know, there's a there's you know, when

1632
01:36:51.279 --> 01:36:54.359
<v Speaker 6>Jesus was on the scene and he tend to you know,

1633
01:36:54.479 --> 01:36:59.000
<v Speaker 6>the song says he looks beyond our faults and sees

1634
01:36:59.159 --> 01:37:04.439
<v Speaker 6>or need. And I come back to this central question

1635
01:37:04.560 --> 01:37:07.279
<v Speaker 6>that I don't think that we're really addressing as much

1636
01:37:07.279 --> 01:37:12.359
<v Speaker 6>as we should do. How do we go? Where do

1637
01:37:12.399 --> 01:37:15.600
<v Speaker 6>we go from here? How do we progress from here?

1638
01:37:15.760 --> 01:37:19.079
<v Speaker 6>How do we help our younger generation, the younger people

1639
01:37:19.479 --> 01:37:22.000
<v Speaker 6>who may not have had the examples of the father,

1640
01:37:22.840 --> 01:37:28.720
<v Speaker 6>or may have had their mind poisoned by their parents

1641
01:37:28.880 --> 01:37:33.520
<v Speaker 6>or their mother, the single mother, who have had bad experiences.

1642
01:37:33.920 --> 01:37:40.159
<v Speaker 6>What do we do to help us to grow and integrate?

1643
01:37:41.119 --> 01:37:44.439
<v Speaker 6>Because they yes, I'm going to let I'm going to

1644
01:37:44.479 --> 01:37:46.960
<v Speaker 6>finish off viron and then you will let you come in.

1645
01:37:47.600 --> 01:37:50.039
<v Speaker 6>We need to get the boys all trained up. We

1646
01:37:50.119 --> 01:37:52.600
<v Speaker 6>need to get the women all trained up too, And

1647
01:37:52.640 --> 01:37:58.000
<v Speaker 6>I think the change can be had. But rather than

1648
01:37:58.039 --> 01:38:01.119
<v Speaker 6>just simply addressing the is you by saying this is

1649
01:38:01.159 --> 01:38:03.560
<v Speaker 6>how men behave, this is how women behave. This is

1650
01:38:03.600 --> 01:38:07.520
<v Speaker 6>so what what are we going to end with Angela?

1651
01:38:07.720 --> 01:38:10.039
<v Speaker 6>And how are we going to you know, those people

1652
01:38:10.039 --> 01:38:14.439
<v Speaker 6>who are looking. One of the major issues I find

1653
01:38:14.520 --> 01:38:17.119
<v Speaker 6>you ask me, you know, what are some of the

1654
01:38:17.159 --> 01:38:20.119
<v Speaker 6>things that I'm seeing in the field is that there

1655
01:38:20.119 --> 01:38:23.479
<v Speaker 6>are lots of women in their thirties and forties, and

1656
01:38:23.520 --> 01:38:27.560
<v Speaker 6>like Byrons said, maybe even fifties and sixties who really

1657
01:38:28.920 --> 01:38:36.239
<v Speaker 6>want have a relationship, to ultimately get married and have

1658
01:38:36.319 --> 01:38:42.319
<v Speaker 6>a family. And they said that there are no men

1659
01:38:42.359 --> 01:38:45.560
<v Speaker 6>in the churches, and those who are in the churches

1660
01:38:45.600 --> 01:38:51.560
<v Speaker 6>that are the married or in some cases are not eligible.

1661
01:38:51.920 --> 01:38:56.319
<v Speaker 6>Maybe you would say, well, they need to lord their standards.

1662
01:38:56.319 --> 01:39:01.560
<v Speaker 6>Maybe they're too picky, maybe their criterias much. But at

1663
01:39:01.600 --> 01:39:05.039
<v Speaker 6>the same time, we are sitting on what I call

1664
01:39:05.239 --> 01:39:12.039
<v Speaker 6>a ticking timebo because generally speaking, human beings weren't designed

1665
01:39:12.520 --> 01:39:18.199
<v Speaker 6>simply to be alone. Yes, bien, I've come off my soapbox.

1666
01:39:18.880 --> 01:39:22.600
<v Speaker 9>You know what I think, despite everything that's been said,

1667
01:39:22.439 --> 01:39:25.399
<v Speaker 9>the answer is quite easy. I just think it's about

1668
01:39:25.479 --> 01:39:28.800
<v Speaker 9>mutual respect. And it might just sound like something silly,

1669
01:39:28.840 --> 01:39:33.560
<v Speaker 9>but you know, when you kind of when there is

1670
01:39:33.680 --> 01:39:36.880
<v Speaker 9>mutual respect, then you can have dialogue, you could have conversation,

1671
01:39:38.399 --> 01:39:40.680
<v Speaker 9>you know, and from you could have conversation, then you

1672
01:39:40.720 --> 01:39:43.520
<v Speaker 9>can you start to kind of, like Mummy said, move mountain,

1673
01:39:43.600 --> 01:39:48.720
<v Speaker 9>because it's quite often you find in relationships there's always

1674
01:39:48.720 --> 01:39:49.840
<v Speaker 9>this kind of battle.

1675
01:39:50.800 --> 01:39:52.800
<v Speaker 1>Somebody has to be the sort of top dog.

1676
01:39:52.960 --> 01:39:53.199
<v Speaker 3>You know.

1677
01:39:53.680 --> 01:39:56.479
<v Speaker 9>Man is argued with women, women's argue with men, and

1678
01:39:56.520 --> 01:39:58.960
<v Speaker 9>then it becomes a kind of who's more intelligent and

1679
01:39:59.000 --> 01:40:01.159
<v Speaker 9>you know, and I just kind of think when you

1680
01:40:01.279 --> 01:40:07.479
<v Speaker 9>just have mutual respect and you because I would back

1681
01:40:07.520 --> 01:40:09.479
<v Speaker 9>in the day, I used to have something I used

1682
01:40:09.520 --> 01:40:13.439
<v Speaker 9>to do a sort of dating game, and I remember

1683
01:40:13.439 --> 01:40:17.159
<v Speaker 9>setting up people on dates and I'd have it in

1684
01:40:17.159 --> 01:40:22.479
<v Speaker 9>a public place and a guy might come in and says, yoh, yeah,

1685
01:40:22.479 --> 01:40:24.840
<v Speaker 9>where she tell me where she is first? Yeah, And

1686
01:40:25.000 --> 01:40:28.640
<v Speaker 9>it's not about that because regardless of what the person

1687
01:40:28.680 --> 01:40:32.039
<v Speaker 9>looks like, it's about sitting down and having a conversation.

1688
01:40:32.119 --> 01:40:33.000
<v Speaker 1>With somebody new, you know.

1689
01:40:35.760 --> 01:40:37.079
<v Speaker 9>And I just kind of think if you can have

1690
01:40:37.159 --> 01:40:39.479
<v Speaker 9>that kind of dialogue with somebody, there's going to be

1691
01:40:39.520 --> 01:40:42.720
<v Speaker 9>guys who are very shy to approach women because of

1692
01:40:42.760 --> 01:40:47.199
<v Speaker 9>the you know, and there's women who well they don't

1693
01:40:47.199 --> 01:40:50.439
<v Speaker 9>see it as their role to approach guys. But from

1694
01:40:50.560 --> 01:40:52.840
<v Speaker 9>you can have that kind of that mutual kind of

1695
01:40:52.880 --> 01:40:55.880
<v Speaker 9>respect there because you have a forum like this where

1696
01:40:55.880 --> 01:40:58.520
<v Speaker 9>we can all kind of talk. And I would feel

1697
01:40:58.640 --> 01:41:00.920
<v Speaker 9>comfortable talking if there was a girls on the pedel.

1698
01:41:01.119 --> 01:41:02.439
<v Speaker 9>I know, we can just have that kind of we

1699
01:41:02.479 --> 01:41:06.560
<v Speaker 9>can have that conversation. But in the real world, there's

1700
01:41:06.800 --> 01:41:09.920
<v Speaker 9>just too many battles going on. Somebody wants to be

1701
01:41:09.960 --> 01:41:12.239
<v Speaker 9>the top dog, and there just needs to be that

1702
01:41:12.319 --> 01:41:13.119
<v Speaker 9>kind of mutual respect.

1703
01:41:13.159 --> 01:41:13.880
<v Speaker 1>That's all I'm saying.

1704
01:41:14.520 --> 01:41:18.560
<v Speaker 7>You know what, in light of what Hilton said about

1705
01:41:18.600 --> 01:41:21.439
<v Speaker 7>what can we do? And this is something I've been

1706
01:41:21.439 --> 01:41:24.239
<v Speaker 7>looking at for for a long time, and I realized

1707
01:41:24.239 --> 01:41:28.000
<v Speaker 7>that the mothers in Israel, or the mothers in general

1708
01:41:28.039 --> 01:41:31.479
<v Speaker 7>in our communities, no one seemed to have taught the

1709
01:41:31.600 --> 01:41:35.479
<v Speaker 7>daughters how to be wives, how to look about your

1710
01:41:35.520 --> 01:41:37.680
<v Speaker 7>man when that time comes. It's like you just send

1711
01:41:37.760 --> 01:41:40.479
<v Speaker 7>them to school and as long as they're achieving good

1712
01:41:40.479 --> 01:41:43.279
<v Speaker 7>grades and it's all good. Everyone's happy, But no one's

1713
01:41:43.319 --> 01:41:47.680
<v Speaker 7>looking at how does my daughter operate in terms of relationship.

1714
01:41:48.399 --> 01:41:51.279
<v Speaker 7>You know, for me personally, I had it really good

1715
01:41:51.279 --> 01:41:54.680
<v Speaker 7>with my parents. And I see my sisters. I've got

1716
01:41:54.680 --> 01:41:59.239
<v Speaker 7>three sisters and you know, two were married, were one

1717
01:41:59.279 --> 01:42:03.960
<v Speaker 7>still married. And the way she and her husband operate,

1718
01:42:04.680 --> 01:42:07.600
<v Speaker 7>it's like it's just it's just it's almost like you

1719
01:42:07.600 --> 01:42:09.560
<v Speaker 7>could sit and watch them. You know, they have their

1720
01:42:09.680 --> 01:42:12.479
<v Speaker 7>ups and downs, but they work together. Like Baron said

1721
01:42:12.479 --> 01:42:16.399
<v Speaker 7>in that they have conversation. You know, my youngest sister,

1722
01:42:17.319 --> 01:42:20.359
<v Speaker 7>I see the attributes in her. You know, she just

1723
01:42:20.399 --> 01:42:23.079
<v Speaker 7>when she's out, she'll go and look about whether someone

1724
01:42:23.119 --> 01:42:25.399
<v Speaker 7>wants a cup of tea or someone. She's got that

1725
01:42:25.520 --> 01:42:28.960
<v Speaker 7>stuff in her. My sisters have that. And so if

1726
01:42:29.000 --> 01:42:31.920
<v Speaker 7>the mothers in Israel, would you know what some of

1727
01:42:32.000 --> 01:42:34.600
<v Speaker 7>the older women said to me, Oh, you can't talk

1728
01:42:34.640 --> 01:42:36.600
<v Speaker 7>to them. They won't listen, and they don't want to

1729
01:42:36.600 --> 01:42:39.399
<v Speaker 7>be disliked by the younger women, so they allow them.

1730
01:42:39.439 --> 01:42:42.319
<v Speaker 7>They'll see them acting rash towards the man, or ever,

1731
01:42:42.399 --> 01:42:45.000
<v Speaker 7>they won't say nothing. So the woman, the younger woman

1732
01:42:45.039 --> 01:42:47.840
<v Speaker 7>feels that this is right. So if you don't have

1733
01:42:47.880 --> 01:42:50.399
<v Speaker 7>a guide, and as the brother said, if we have

1734
01:42:50.520 --> 01:42:54.119
<v Speaker 7>more meetings like Agi croding props, non because they've started

1735
01:42:54.119 --> 01:42:56.560
<v Speaker 7>that men's ministry. But when I talk to the women,

1736
01:42:56.560 --> 01:42:59.960
<v Speaker 7>there's no women's ministry. There's no women being held at

1737
01:43:00.039 --> 01:43:03.039
<v Speaker 7>countable because there's some women that's banger. They talk to

1738
01:43:03.079 --> 01:43:07.119
<v Speaker 7>you anyhow, disrespectful and in their eyes it's right. But

1739
01:43:07.279 --> 01:43:10.319
<v Speaker 7>we need accountability for someone to say no, no, no, no, no, sister,

1740
01:43:10.359 --> 01:43:12.640
<v Speaker 7>the way you spoke to the brother, no, you don't

1741
01:43:12.640 --> 01:43:15.079
<v Speaker 7>do that as a woman, you know. And and some

1742
01:43:15.119 --> 01:43:17.439
<v Speaker 7>of the brothers need getting help. We're getting help too,

1743
01:43:17.840 --> 01:43:20.079
<v Speaker 7>because you know, we're coming from a long way where

1744
01:43:19.960 --> 01:43:22.199
<v Speaker 7>we we what we said back in the day, you

1745
01:43:22.199 --> 01:43:24.039
<v Speaker 7>don't matter what the woman said, what we say goes.

1746
01:43:24.640 --> 01:43:27.239
<v Speaker 7>But as we get older, you learn to navigate it differently.

1747
01:43:27.279 --> 01:43:30.199
<v Speaker 7>But you know, so that's that's that's my perspective that

1748
01:43:30.880 --> 01:43:34.359
<v Speaker 7>there's nothing being handed down to the generations. You know,

1749
01:43:34.560 --> 01:43:36.439
<v Speaker 7>and you can see in some of the young people

1750
01:43:36.439 --> 01:43:40.119
<v Speaker 7>today is just is not good. Put it that way.

1751
01:43:41.359 --> 01:43:44.199
<v Speaker 3>Well, I'm going to I'm going to say this here.

1752
01:43:44.319 --> 01:43:47.600
<v Speaker 3>Been in a lot of meetings over the years, especially

1753
01:43:47.720 --> 01:43:49.880
<v Speaker 3>church meetings and the question that you ask you and

1754
01:43:50.439 --> 01:43:53.319
<v Speaker 3>where do we go from here? That is a standard

1755
01:43:53.359 --> 01:43:57.319
<v Speaker 3>question that's always asked and when if anybody ever gives solutions,

1756
01:43:57.560 --> 01:44:01.279
<v Speaker 3>nothing's ever put into place. It just sounds good. And

1757
01:44:01.319 --> 01:44:03.960
<v Speaker 3>also Hill not knocking you, but even when you said

1758
01:44:03.960 --> 01:44:08.600
<v Speaker 3>that we're women bashing, you'll never get people to be real.

1759
01:44:09.600 --> 01:44:12.880
<v Speaker 3>And if a guy can't express himself and be real

1760
01:44:12.920 --> 01:44:17.399
<v Speaker 3>about something about life in general, right, and when he

1761
01:44:17.439 --> 01:44:19.680
<v Speaker 3>said that you just want a man to play a part, yeah,

1762
01:44:20.239 --> 01:44:23.760
<v Speaker 3>this shoppy role, like oh yes, now man, men have

1763
01:44:23.840 --> 01:44:26.920
<v Speaker 3>to be real, just like what Colecchi just said and

1764
01:44:26.960 --> 01:44:30.479
<v Speaker 3>what Byron says, respect right, we just have to be

1765
01:44:30.520 --> 01:44:32.720
<v Speaker 3>real about everything and say, listen, this is how it is,

1766
01:44:32.760 --> 01:44:35.439
<v Speaker 3>and this is why it starts. But being about real

1767
01:44:35.840 --> 01:44:38.279
<v Speaker 3>and then after when you become real, you can put

1768
01:44:38.319 --> 01:44:41.279
<v Speaker 3>some seminars on and go to different places and have

1769
01:44:41.319 --> 01:44:46.560
<v Speaker 3>a seminar. Especially like if women saying that saying that

1770
01:44:46.600 --> 01:44:48.560
<v Speaker 3>they can't find a man in church, Okay, there are

1771
01:44:48.640 --> 01:44:52.560
<v Speaker 3>more women than men in the church, one hundred percent, right,

1772
01:44:52.840 --> 01:44:55.239
<v Speaker 3>it's a man's open ball in church. He can pick

1773
01:44:55.520 --> 01:44:58.880
<v Speaker 3>high and fire a lot easier than a woman. Right,

1774
01:44:59.000 --> 01:45:01.840
<v Speaker 3>So obviously not every woman's going to be able to

1775
01:45:01.840 --> 01:45:07.800
<v Speaker 3>get married because obviously there is not so many guys

1776
01:45:07.800 --> 01:45:11.279
<v Speaker 3>out there. Different guys are like in America, this guy's gay,

1777
01:45:11.319 --> 01:45:16.520
<v Speaker 3>this guy's in prison. In the churches, there's different kind

1778
01:45:16.560 --> 01:45:19.520
<v Speaker 3>of guys there. There's different kind of guys there that

1779
01:45:20.000 --> 01:45:21.800
<v Speaker 3>you know, I mean, they're not eligible. But there are

1780
01:45:21.840 --> 01:45:24.880
<v Speaker 3>some good guys there. There are some good guys there.

1781
01:45:25.920 --> 01:45:27.680
<v Speaker 3>But I'd like to be I like to be on

1782
01:45:27.720 --> 01:45:30.079
<v Speaker 3>the forum and just be real and say what's really

1783
01:45:30.119 --> 01:45:33.640
<v Speaker 3>in my mind right, and you know, not be said

1784
01:45:33.720 --> 01:45:37.000
<v Speaker 3>like you know you're bashing women, because I don't bash women.

1785
01:45:38.000 --> 01:45:41.119
<v Speaker 3>I'm just real. I mean, I'm just say my piece

1786
01:45:41.159 --> 01:45:44.000
<v Speaker 3>and I I try and learn and sit in a

1787
01:45:44.079 --> 01:45:45.880
<v Speaker 3>nice way as possible. I don't want to be horrible

1788
01:45:45.880 --> 01:45:48.359
<v Speaker 3>to anybody. I don't want to be offensive, but I

1789
01:45:48.399 --> 01:45:50.000
<v Speaker 3>do want to be real about what I'm talking about

1790
01:45:50.039 --> 01:45:51.840
<v Speaker 3>a subject. If I'm come on a show, I want

1791
01:45:51.840 --> 01:45:53.720
<v Speaker 3>to be real and said, now this is what I see.

1792
01:45:53.720 --> 01:45:55.680
<v Speaker 3>I may be wrong. Someone can correct me and say

1793
01:45:55.720 --> 01:45:58.239
<v Speaker 3>to me, now, brother, I'm this, that and the other.

1794
01:45:58.479 --> 01:46:03.039
<v Speaker 3>I've learnt something today, and be nice. I've learned somebody today. Anyway,

1795
01:46:03.119 --> 01:46:05.119
<v Speaker 3>let me stop talking, because that would have been a soapbox.

1796
01:46:05.880 --> 01:46:08.760
<v Speaker 9>Sometimes sometimes you've got to even look at the you

1797
01:46:08.800 --> 01:46:10.479
<v Speaker 9>have to look at like I'm looking at the TV

1798
01:46:10.600 --> 01:46:14.119
<v Speaker 9>today and they was talking about the amount of men

1799
01:46:14.439 --> 01:46:16.720
<v Speaker 9>like they're talking about kind of Greg Wallerson, that the

1800
01:46:16.760 --> 01:46:18.359
<v Speaker 9>guy from that chef show.

1801
01:46:18.520 --> 01:46:22.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and this whole med too movement where.

1802
01:46:22.119 --> 01:46:30.319
<v Speaker 9>Men can't even men can't, men can't say anything about

1803
01:46:30.359 --> 01:46:33.039
<v Speaker 9>women without being And I'm not saying all these people

1804
01:46:33.079 --> 01:46:36.000
<v Speaker 9>because you had the guy who was on the the

1805
01:46:36.239 --> 01:46:39.319
<v Speaker 9>six o'clock show, the mixed race guy who got suspended,

1806
01:46:39.479 --> 01:46:40.079
<v Speaker 9>You've got the.

1807
01:46:40.520 --> 01:46:42.159
<v Speaker 1>So many of them are just going.

1808
01:46:42.199 --> 01:46:44.199
<v Speaker 9>I mean, I don't know exactly what they've done, but

1809
01:46:44.640 --> 01:46:48.359
<v Speaker 9>sometimes it's about being derogatory in some way to women,

1810
01:46:48.720 --> 01:46:48.960
<v Speaker 9>you know.

1811
01:46:50.000 --> 01:46:51.079
<v Speaker 1>And when you kind of look at the.

1812
01:46:51.039 --> 01:46:55.199
<v Speaker 9>Whole scales which is just totally unbalanced towards men in

1813
01:46:55.279 --> 01:46:56.319
<v Speaker 9>society in general.

1814
01:46:56.640 --> 01:46:59.720
<v Speaker 1>You know, yeah, it's.

1815
01:46:59.279 --> 01:47:01.239
<v Speaker 3>Not just they're buying one hundred percent.

1816
01:47:01.880 --> 01:47:02.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's.

1817
01:47:04.279 --> 01:47:06.279
<v Speaker 9>You know, you can it's just making a lot of

1818
01:47:06.279 --> 01:47:08.720
<v Speaker 9>people kind of angrying. And sometimes you have the woman

1819
01:47:08.760 --> 01:47:11.239
<v Speaker 9>on top who's not just gonna me a hard time.

1820
01:47:12.000 --> 01:47:15.680
<v Speaker 1>It's yeah, anyway, you know, you know what I mean.

1821
01:47:16.159 --> 01:47:19.079
<v Speaker 3>But you're right, because even everything is about being pc.

1822
01:47:21.079 --> 01:47:24.680
<v Speaker 3>You can't look even in church today, right, someone comes

1823
01:47:24.720 --> 01:47:29.359
<v Speaker 3>in they said they're transgender. Everybody's running around frightened to

1824
01:47:29.359 --> 01:47:32.119
<v Speaker 3>say anything. Oh which toilet? Let me use the woman's one?

1825
01:47:32.199 --> 01:47:34.840
<v Speaker 3>Are we gonna let him do this one? Men can't

1826
01:47:34.880 --> 01:47:38.800
<v Speaker 3>talk no more. Men can't be men no more. That's

1827
01:47:38.800 --> 01:47:41.800
<v Speaker 3>why when was talking about men being I don't know,

1828
01:47:41.880 --> 01:47:43.880
<v Speaker 3>you said jellyback or whatever. A lot of men are

1829
01:47:43.880 --> 01:47:48.960
<v Speaker 3>like that, and it's always they can't be men. Back

1830
01:47:49.000 --> 01:47:52.600
<v Speaker 3>in my days, my dad was so fear in the house, right.

1831
01:47:52.640 --> 01:47:53.920
<v Speaker 3>I grew up with the house and my mom. My

1832
01:47:53.960 --> 01:47:56.960
<v Speaker 3>dad tell my mom and now got that way adri it,

1833
01:47:57.199 --> 01:47:59.640
<v Speaker 3>now got that way to deer. And my dad was

1834
01:47:59.640 --> 01:48:02.399
<v Speaker 3>always right. I looked at my dad, and I've looked

1835
01:48:02.399 --> 01:48:04.720
<v Speaker 3>at and said myself, Well, my dad was sensible. He's

1836
01:48:04.920 --> 01:48:06.119
<v Speaker 3>you know, you let my mom do what she wants

1837
01:48:06.119 --> 01:48:08.439
<v Speaker 3>to do. But he says sometimes you now go got

1838
01:48:08.439 --> 01:48:12.359
<v Speaker 3>that way ardja toe right, And he wasn't. He wasn't politically.

1839
01:48:12.520 --> 01:48:15.960
<v Speaker 3>Just spoke the truth, and men cannot speak the truth today.

1840
01:48:16.279 --> 01:48:20.279
<v Speaker 3>You say anything on anything now, oh you're you're sexist,

1841
01:48:20.279 --> 01:48:22.920
<v Speaker 3>you or this that the other you think yourself forget it.

1842
01:48:22.920 --> 01:48:26.119
<v Speaker 3>But I ain't even gonna gone say nothing because everybody's

1843
01:48:26.119 --> 01:48:28.399
<v Speaker 3>going to be offending. And all the women jumping there.

1844
01:48:31.560 --> 01:48:33.039
<v Speaker 7>What you're saying, men are tired.

1845
01:48:34.079 --> 01:48:36.800
<v Speaker 3>Listen, listen, I go place. So I just said myself.

1846
01:48:36.920 --> 01:48:39.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm a vocal person, and I just said myself, even

1847
01:48:39.600 --> 01:48:41.880
<v Speaker 3>me who's vocal, I said myself, this, let me choose

1848
01:48:41.880 --> 01:48:45.279
<v Speaker 3>my battles. Man, this ain't even worth talking about. It

1849
01:48:45.359 --> 01:48:47.720
<v Speaker 3>ain't even worth talking about, because you know what, you

1850
01:48:47.840 --> 01:48:50.479
<v Speaker 3>can't be real right, and I like to go places

1851
01:48:50.479 --> 01:48:52.560
<v Speaker 3>and I like to be the guys that we can

1852
01:48:52.600 --> 01:48:56.239
<v Speaker 3>be real right, you know, even for the women are

1853
01:48:56.239 --> 01:48:59.760
<v Speaker 3>saying that men are approaching them years ago, I'm not

1854
01:49:00.560 --> 01:49:02.600
<v Speaker 3>that whistles to women, but the builders used to go

1855
01:49:02.680 --> 01:49:08.720
<v Speaker 3>to it, all right, darling. Now and they're talking about, oh,

1856
01:49:08.760 --> 01:49:10.880
<v Speaker 3>men don't want to approach me. Of course, men don't

1857
01:49:10.880 --> 01:49:12.920
<v Speaker 3>want to approach you because you're going to report them

1858
01:49:12.920 --> 01:49:16.279
<v Speaker 3>to the police. There's so much things that you think youself,

1859
01:49:16.960 --> 01:49:19.039
<v Speaker 3>if I if I was single, if I was single,

1860
01:49:19.880 --> 01:49:24.399
<v Speaker 3>I ain't approaching nobody. I'm telling you me, and I'm vocal, Jack,

1861
01:49:25.199 --> 01:49:28.319
<v Speaker 3>I'm not approaching anybody myself. You know what. I don't

1862
01:49:28.319 --> 01:49:31.920
<v Speaker 3>want the argument, but you know, I'm like Pedro, I'm

1863
01:49:32.000 --> 01:49:34.359
<v Speaker 3>very pleasant to women. I see a woman and I

1864
01:49:34.359 --> 01:49:37.159
<v Speaker 3>said something nice to her, and it's like, man, it's

1865
01:49:37.159 --> 01:49:39.359
<v Speaker 3>causing offense. Man, listen, let me stop talking to these women.

1866
01:49:39.920 --> 01:49:41.920
<v Speaker 3>And I'm married. I don't need a woman. I've got

1867
01:49:41.920 --> 01:49:44.720
<v Speaker 3>a wife. I'm saying, Oh, it's not even worth talking

1868
01:49:44.720 --> 01:49:47.000
<v Speaker 3>to women. Man, they're getting they're getting funny, and I'm

1869
01:49:47.000 --> 01:49:48.800
<v Speaker 3>telling you, they've really changed.

1870
01:49:50.359 --> 01:49:52.640
<v Speaker 2>I want to pause. I want to pause there because

1871
01:49:52.640 --> 01:49:54.840
<v Speaker 2>we're going to take another music break and we're going

1872
01:49:54.920 --> 01:49:56.600
<v Speaker 2>to come back. And actually, i want to go back

1873
01:49:56.640 --> 01:49:59.079
<v Speaker 2>to Hilton's question because as much as we're talking on

1874
01:49:59.079 --> 01:50:02.680
<v Speaker 2>this platform, we're talking here on this show today, what

1875
01:50:02.720 --> 01:50:05.479
<v Speaker 2>can we what can men do to kind of get

1876
01:50:05.520 --> 01:50:10.039
<v Speaker 2>it right? Because in some ways, ununfortunately, Now again i'm

1877
01:50:10.039 --> 01:50:13.399
<v Speaker 2>not generalizing, I'm not saying that every man is like this.

1878
01:50:13.760 --> 01:50:17.039
<v Speaker 2>There are, unfortunately, men who aren't getting it right, aren't

1879
01:50:17.079 --> 01:50:20.800
<v Speaker 2>treating women the way they should be treating they aren't speaking. Sure,

1880
01:50:20.800 --> 01:50:22.960
<v Speaker 2>it is all well and good saying keeping it real,

1881
01:50:23.399 --> 01:50:26.199
<v Speaker 2>but if you are being offensive, if you are being sexist,

1882
01:50:26.239 --> 01:50:28.359
<v Speaker 2>you are being all those things. Keeping it real is

1883
01:50:28.359 --> 01:50:31.279
<v Speaker 2>not That's not what it's about. And I'm thinking about

1884
01:50:31.359 --> 01:50:34.079
<v Speaker 2>bibical principles as well in terms of how we should

1885
01:50:34.119 --> 01:50:37.479
<v Speaker 2>treat each other. And that's really what can we do.

1886
01:50:37.640 --> 01:50:40.279
<v Speaker 2>What can we teach our younger generation about how we

1887
01:50:40.359 --> 01:50:44.520
<v Speaker 2>treat each other, as you mentioned before, with kindness, mutual respect,

1888
01:50:45.000 --> 01:50:47.600
<v Speaker 2>all of those things. So I really want to know

1889
01:50:47.720 --> 01:50:49.239
<v Speaker 2>kind of what men can do.

1890
01:50:50.000 --> 01:50:51.920
<v Speaker 3>I've just said, I've just said to you, Angela. Yeah,

1891
01:50:52.159 --> 01:50:54.439
<v Speaker 3>you know me, I'm talking about me. I'm pleasant to women.

1892
01:50:54.640 --> 01:50:57.880
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm not saying I'm talking I'm talking generally.

1893
01:51:00.359 --> 01:51:03.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm a guy that's very vocal. Our got then a

1894
01:51:03.319 --> 01:51:05.439
<v Speaker 3>sal woman and I said something pleasant to her, and

1895
01:51:05.479 --> 01:51:07.239
<v Speaker 3>I'm saying boy, and all the time I'm talking to them,

1896
01:51:07.279 --> 01:51:10.079
<v Speaker 3>and them is like, and let me stop talking to you.

1897
01:51:10.680 --> 01:51:14.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm because they were their experience with other men could

1898
01:51:14.560 --> 01:51:18.880
<v Speaker 2>be very different, unfortunately, and again not everybody's getting it right.

1899
01:51:18.920 --> 01:51:21.800
<v Speaker 2>And unfortunately, if I say men have let the side down,

1900
01:51:21.960 --> 01:51:24.800
<v Speaker 2>there are many men have done that. So many people's

1901
01:51:24.880 --> 01:51:27.920
<v Speaker 2>experience with shape how they may respond. And I think

1902
01:51:27.960 --> 01:51:31.920
<v Speaker 2>Mark you alluded to that previously as well. So again

1903
01:51:32.199 --> 01:51:33.520
<v Speaker 2>we'll take a break. I want to come back and

1904
01:51:33.560 --> 01:51:35.119
<v Speaker 2>just sort of say, as we're coming to the the

1905
01:51:35.159 --> 01:51:37.319
<v Speaker 2>end of the show. You know, what can we do

1906
01:51:37.600 --> 01:51:40.000
<v Speaker 2>that can help get things make things a little better.

1907
01:51:40.399 --> 01:51:42.520
<v Speaker 2>What can we be teaching each other, How can we

1908
01:51:42.560 --> 01:51:45.880
<v Speaker 2>communicate better? How can we have the mutual respect that

1909
01:51:45.960 --> 01:51:48.119
<v Speaker 2>we do that. So let's take a music break and

1910
01:51:48.159 --> 01:51:50.479
<v Speaker 2>we'll come back and we'll discuss on that. You're here

1911
01:51:50.479 --> 01:51:53.600
<v Speaker 2>listening to Talking Point. It's been a really interesting discussion.

1912
01:51:54.199 --> 01:51:55.880
<v Speaker 2>We're coming to the end, and I know we're kind

1913
01:51:55.880 --> 01:51:58.399
<v Speaker 2>of winding down, but if you're just joining us, you've

1914
01:51:58.479 --> 01:52:02.079
<v Speaker 2>missed the whole heap. But I know we've had lots

1915
01:52:02.079 --> 01:52:03.960
<v Speaker 2>to say, and I know it's sours wine stand for

1916
01:52:03.960 --> 01:52:06.479
<v Speaker 2>a part two, So maybe we'll get these guys back

1917
01:52:06.520 --> 01:52:09.680
<v Speaker 2>on again to continue with the conversation. But we've talked

1918
01:52:09.760 --> 01:52:13.920
<v Speaker 2>a lot about relations, the ships between men and women,

1919
01:52:14.760 --> 01:52:16.880
<v Speaker 2>differences between men and women, how they connect, and what

1920
01:52:17.000 --> 01:52:18.840
<v Speaker 2>have you. But really we want to kind of get

1921
01:52:18.880 --> 01:52:23.000
<v Speaker 2>some ideas as what we can do practically. We've noted

1922
01:52:23.000 --> 01:52:24.479
<v Speaker 2>a lot of the flaws, a lot of the things

1923
01:52:24.520 --> 01:52:26.640
<v Speaker 2>that we're not getting right, but what can we do?

1924
01:52:27.079 --> 01:52:29.920
<v Speaker 2>And as older men on this platform, i'd like to

1925
01:52:29.920 --> 01:52:32.279
<v Speaker 2>say sort of hear some ideas that you think maybe

1926
01:52:32.279 --> 01:52:35.119
<v Speaker 2>you could share with the younger generation that's coming up.

1927
01:52:35.399 --> 01:52:39.199
<v Speaker 2>As Hilton has pointed out, as the concept of dating, talking,

1928
01:52:39.359 --> 01:52:42.000
<v Speaker 2>going out with each other has changed and the way

1929
01:52:42.039 --> 01:52:44.439
<v Speaker 2>we do it has changed over the years. But there

1930
01:52:44.520 --> 01:52:48.439
<v Speaker 2>are some probably some really basic principles and basic things

1931
01:52:48.479 --> 01:52:51.199
<v Speaker 2>that we could all do or people could do, that

1932
01:52:51.239 --> 01:52:54.600
<v Speaker 2>actually could make our relationships and our connections much more effective.

1933
01:52:54.840 --> 01:52:56.279
<v Speaker 2>So I'd like to kind of hear a few of

1934
01:52:56.319 --> 01:52:59.079
<v Speaker 2>those things that we can share with our listeners, the

1935
01:52:59.159 --> 01:53:01.640
<v Speaker 2>things that we could do. Any ideas. I know we're

1936
01:53:01.680 --> 01:53:04.800
<v Speaker 2>not going to solve the problem in this one show,

1937
01:53:05.560 --> 01:53:08.279
<v Speaker 2>and I'd like to kind of continue the conversation at

1938
01:53:08.279 --> 01:53:10.479
<v Speaker 2>another time, but what can we do that can be

1939
01:53:10.560 --> 01:53:13.479
<v Speaker 2>quite practical that we can share. I'm also thinking about,

1940
01:53:13.479 --> 01:53:15.359
<v Speaker 2>you know, what are these sort of biblical principles that

1941
01:53:15.399 --> 01:53:17.960
<v Speaker 2>we can kind of stand by that can guide us

1942
01:53:18.199 --> 01:53:21.000
<v Speaker 2>with some of what we're doing as well, because ultimately,

1943
01:53:21.159 --> 01:53:24.319
<v Speaker 2>you know, we want to have relationships to be blessed.

1944
01:53:24.359 --> 01:53:26.840
<v Speaker 2>We want them to be helping us develop our own

1945
01:53:26.880 --> 01:53:30.159
<v Speaker 2>spiritual lives and individuals, but also as a unit as well.

1946
01:53:30.439 --> 01:53:32.960
<v Speaker 2>So any thoughts on you know, practical We've talked a

1947
01:53:33.000 --> 01:53:35.199
<v Speaker 2>little bit about things that have happened over the years.

1948
01:53:35.479 --> 01:53:37.399
<v Speaker 2>What we've been doing in our own experiences. But what

1949
01:53:37.439 --> 01:53:39.800
<v Speaker 2>can we do that we can share that could possibly

1950
01:53:40.039 --> 01:53:43.079
<v Speaker 2>work towards making our relationships much more effective?

1951
01:53:43.720 --> 01:53:45.399
<v Speaker 1>Am I the only one who's not in the church here?

1952
01:53:46.159 --> 01:53:51.720
<v Speaker 2>You could be because I'm thinking the shoe and this

1953
01:53:51.800 --> 01:53:53.520
<v Speaker 2>is probably not help you in a church thing.

1954
01:53:54.199 --> 01:53:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking the shoe should be.

1955
01:53:55.560 --> 01:53:58.399
<v Speaker 9>On the other foot, I think you women need to

1956
01:53:58.479 --> 01:54:01.960
<v Speaker 9>kind of start making headway because you know what you

1957
01:54:02.039 --> 01:54:04.800
<v Speaker 9>want to go and seek what you want.

1958
01:54:04.840 --> 01:54:08.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, sometimes when you're kind of depending on the

1959
01:54:08.840 --> 01:54:09.199
<v Speaker 1>man to.

1960
01:54:09.159 --> 01:54:11.439
<v Speaker 9>Make all the moves, and the man does this, or

1961
01:54:11.479 --> 01:54:13.239
<v Speaker 9>he doesn't do that, and so on and so forth,

1962
01:54:13.640 --> 01:54:16.840
<v Speaker 9>why do you not take it upon yourself to go

1963
01:54:16.960 --> 01:54:18.520
<v Speaker 9>and find what you want.

1964
01:54:20.119 --> 01:54:22.359
<v Speaker 2>That's a really interesting point. And actually that's a really

1965
01:54:22.399 --> 01:54:26.000
<v Speaker 2>interesting point because in throughout a conversation that's been a

1966
01:54:26.000 --> 01:54:29.159
<v Speaker 2>bit of a conflicting point because that's, in one hand,

1967
01:54:29.199 --> 01:54:31.640
<v Speaker 2>it's not seen as the right way to go, and

1968
01:54:31.720 --> 01:54:34.119
<v Speaker 2>on the other hand, it is possibly the right way

1969
01:54:34.119 --> 01:54:36.439
<v Speaker 2>to go. So that in itself is an interesting That's

1970
01:54:36.479 --> 01:54:37.319
<v Speaker 2>an interesting point.

1971
01:54:38.640 --> 01:54:39.880
<v Speaker 1>It's just a way to go about it.

1972
01:54:39.960 --> 01:54:43.520
<v Speaker 9>I mean, I know it has certain connotations, but you know,

1973
01:54:43.640 --> 01:54:48.920
<v Speaker 9>really and truly the women will generally have a lot

1974
01:54:48.960 --> 01:54:51.640
<v Speaker 9>more to kind of moan about in general about men,

1975
01:54:52.600 --> 01:54:55.479
<v Speaker 9>and I just can't. I kind of think, well, go

1976
01:54:55.560 --> 01:54:57.800
<v Speaker 9>and find the man that you want, you know, sit down,

1977
01:54:58.279 --> 01:55:02.239
<v Speaker 9>go for a meal, get to know the person you know.

1978
01:55:03.000 --> 01:55:05.199
<v Speaker 9>Rather than wait for the man to come to you, you.

1979
01:55:05.239 --> 01:55:05.800
<v Speaker 3>Go to him.

1980
01:55:06.800 --> 01:55:14.560
<v Speaker 8>Barrons, we choose or up the opposite sex. We choose

1981
01:55:14.720 --> 01:55:21.000
<v Speaker 8>our partner to the level of emotional of what we

1982
01:55:21.159 --> 01:55:27.520
<v Speaker 8>can handle emotionally. So majority of us will choose a

1983
01:55:27.560 --> 01:55:31.640
<v Speaker 8>partner that is opposite to us, but on the same

1984
01:55:31.840 --> 01:55:37.960
<v Speaker 8>emotional level. Okay, So it means then we do not

1985
01:55:38.239 --> 01:55:41.119
<v Speaker 8>choose up or, we do not choose dom.

1986
01:55:41.359 --> 01:55:41.960
<v Speaker 4>We choose.

1987
01:55:42.199 --> 01:55:46.479
<v Speaker 8>So if you if someone choose, if a man choose

1988
01:55:46.560 --> 01:55:50.079
<v Speaker 8>a woman, that is chaotic and he's trying to be nice.

1989
01:55:51.680 --> 01:55:57.560
<v Speaker 8>If from a from a psychology perspective, if you actually

1990
01:55:57.600 --> 01:56:01.159
<v Speaker 8>look at him, he's just as key atic as or

1991
01:56:01.279 --> 01:56:06.439
<v Speaker 8>but reflecting horror on the opposite side. What's basic psychology

1992
01:56:06.960 --> 01:56:11.640
<v Speaker 8>when it comes to choosing individuals. Many of us wear

1993
01:56:11.920 --> 01:56:19.239
<v Speaker 8>too many different masks, and we are not true not

1994
01:56:19.479 --> 01:56:22.760
<v Speaker 8>only to ourselves but to the people that we meet,

1995
01:56:23.880 --> 01:56:29.000
<v Speaker 8>and that it creates a big problem within this dating situation.

1996
01:56:30.399 --> 01:56:34.800
<v Speaker 8>Most of us as men need to start to heal

1997
01:56:35.199 --> 01:56:40.479
<v Speaker 8>because we want good women, but good women also and

1998
01:56:40.520 --> 01:56:43.159
<v Speaker 8>I'm good in terms of talking about the men. Good

1999
01:56:43.239 --> 01:56:49.199
<v Speaker 8>women also will want to basically make suggestions. And we

2000
01:56:49.279 --> 01:56:53.439
<v Speaker 8>don't have all the answers as men and a lot

2001
01:56:53.560 --> 01:56:56.640
<v Speaker 8>of men. The people that are coming into my therapy

2002
01:56:56.720 --> 01:57:00.800
<v Speaker 8>treatment basically a lot of guys. A lot of us,

2003
01:57:01.039 --> 01:57:06.479
<v Speaker 8>both men and women, need to heal. We have a

2004
01:57:06.560 --> 01:57:11.760
<v Speaker 8>generally most of us don't know how to actually live

2005
01:57:12.119 --> 01:57:15.720
<v Speaker 8>with a woman in the home, and a lot of

2006
01:57:15.720 --> 01:57:18.479
<v Speaker 8>women don't know how to live with a man in

2007
01:57:18.520 --> 01:57:23.439
<v Speaker 8>the home because both will bring their situations to the

2008
01:57:23.560 --> 01:57:28.760
<v Speaker 8>home to actually and when the two clashes, we don't

2009
01:57:28.880 --> 01:57:33.119
<v Speaker 8>know how to regulate the situation. And that's basically what

2010
01:57:33.279 --> 01:57:37.279
<v Speaker 8>is happening to us in church, out of church, everywhere.

2011
01:57:37.560 --> 01:57:41.399
<v Speaker 8>What is happening is that I'm coming with my stuff,

2012
01:57:41.600 --> 01:57:44.520
<v Speaker 8>She's coming with her stuff. When we put it together,

2013
01:57:44.960 --> 01:57:46.680
<v Speaker 8>it creates a nuclear bomb.

2014
01:57:47.479 --> 01:57:50.680
<v Speaker 1>And by healing, and what do you mean by healing?

2015
01:57:51.439 --> 01:57:54.800
<v Speaker 8>What I mean by healing is this most of us

2016
01:57:55.199 --> 01:58:00.319
<v Speaker 8>whenever we cannot handle emotional things, most of us don't

2017
01:58:00.399 --> 01:58:05.680
<v Speaker 8>know how to deal with our emotions. We either blow up.

2018
01:58:06.159 --> 01:58:11.239
<v Speaker 8>We either basically go quiet. We either you see personalities

2019
01:58:11.359 --> 01:58:16.079
<v Speaker 8>coming out because no one knows how to emotionally regulate.

2020
01:58:16.479 --> 01:58:22.239
<v Speaker 8>We learn how to emotionally regulate from our parents. Okay,

2021
01:58:22.439 --> 01:58:26.000
<v Speaker 8>and if mommy or daddy did not show me how

2022
01:58:26.039 --> 01:58:30.159
<v Speaker 8>to emotionally regulate, if my wife comes home angry or

2023
01:58:30.199 --> 01:58:32.800
<v Speaker 8>whatever it is, I am going to be angry too

2024
01:58:32.840 --> 01:58:39.239
<v Speaker 8>because she can easily trigger me. We don't know how

2025
01:58:39.319 --> 01:58:47.119
<v Speaker 8>to actually deal with situations emotionally. Society become a very

2026
01:58:47.239 --> 01:58:54.119
<v Speaker 8>harsh and rude society because nobody wants to be as

2027
01:58:54.159 --> 01:58:57.319
<v Speaker 8>the Bible say, a servant. You know, everybody wants to

2028
01:58:57.319 --> 01:59:01.880
<v Speaker 8>be on top as man and woman. And we are

2029
01:59:01.920 --> 01:59:05.800
<v Speaker 8>going to do all in everything that we can to

2030
01:59:05.840 --> 01:59:11.159
<v Speaker 8>be there in a relationship and a marriage. If I win,

2031
01:59:11.479 --> 01:59:18.119
<v Speaker 8>the family loses, and if my wife wins, pop still lose.

2032
01:59:18.640 --> 01:59:22.920
<v Speaker 8>I cannot see my wife as the enemy. And most

2033
01:59:22.960 --> 01:59:26.520
<v Speaker 8>of us in relationship and even outer relationship are coming

2034
01:59:26.560 --> 01:59:28.800
<v Speaker 8>and I'm going to shut up here now, are coming

2035
01:59:29.039 --> 01:59:34.760
<v Speaker 8>with three conceived ideas about the opposite text that was

2036
01:59:34.960 --> 01:59:43.800
<v Speaker 8>given us by our parents and society. So that's what

2037
01:59:43.920 --> 01:59:45.800
<v Speaker 8>we need to heal from.

2038
01:59:46.039 --> 01:59:49.079
<v Speaker 5>I totally agree with you, Mark, I think as married

2039
01:59:49.079 --> 01:59:52.880
<v Speaker 5>couples or even as as single people going to a relationship.

2040
01:59:53.640 --> 01:59:59.399
<v Speaker 5>It is recognizing your faults and then you both work.

2041
01:59:59.800 --> 01:59:59.960
<v Speaker 3>Like.

2042
02:00:01.439 --> 02:00:05.319
<v Speaker 5>With my wife knowing her fault and not and working

2043
02:00:05.359 --> 02:00:08.119
<v Speaker 5>with us, so like not holding her against not holding

2044
02:00:08.159 --> 02:00:10.960
<v Speaker 5>it against her. I haven't like an example. I don't

2045
02:00:10.960 --> 02:00:12.520
<v Speaker 5>know if it's gonna be a good example, but like

2046
02:00:14.079 --> 02:00:16.039
<v Speaker 5>one of the things if my wife, my wife is

2047
02:00:16.079 --> 02:00:20.800
<v Speaker 5>a yeller, she elevates, if she elevates to the kids,

2048
02:00:21.279 --> 02:00:24.840
<v Speaker 5>it doesn't resonate with them. Is when I elevate my voice,

2049
02:00:25.800 --> 02:00:30.079
<v Speaker 5>they seem to they seem to what you call again,

2050
02:00:30.560 --> 02:00:34.279
<v Speaker 5>they seem to respond differently to me. So like you said,

2051
02:00:34.439 --> 02:00:37.119
<v Speaker 5>I want to win. So I'm like, if I elevate

2052
02:00:37.159 --> 02:00:39.479
<v Speaker 5>my voice, they should still respond the same way they

2053
02:00:39.479 --> 02:00:41.479
<v Speaker 5>respond to my wife as they do to my wife.

2054
02:00:41.479 --> 02:00:42.119
<v Speaker 4>But they don't.

2055
02:00:42.159 --> 02:00:45.880
<v Speaker 5>So now I have to be more mindful of how I,

2056
02:00:45.960 --> 02:00:48.880
<v Speaker 5>you know, may say something to my children. And I

2057
02:00:48.920 --> 02:00:51.720
<v Speaker 5>think so that's like an emotional thing that we both

2058
02:00:51.760 --> 02:00:54.159
<v Speaker 5>have that we that we fight through because I have

2059
02:00:54.199 --> 02:00:56.600
<v Speaker 5>to realize that I have to come at it differently

2060
02:00:56.800 --> 02:00:59.399
<v Speaker 5>when I'm talking to them, because the way I talk,

2061
02:00:59.479 --> 02:01:01.199
<v Speaker 5>the way I not saying I talk to them in

2062
02:01:01.199 --> 02:01:05.119
<v Speaker 5>a mean way, just meaning like I just need to

2063
02:01:05.399 --> 02:01:07.880
<v Speaker 5>be more mindful of how I say, especially to the girls.

2064
02:01:09.119 --> 02:01:12.119
<v Speaker 5>And because the girls are gonna respond differently, they're gonna

2065
02:01:12.119 --> 02:01:14.760
<v Speaker 5>think I'm being you know, mean or nasty, and I'm not.

2066
02:01:14.840 --> 02:01:18.000
<v Speaker 5>I'm just being more As Sean said, I'm just being

2067
02:01:18.000 --> 02:01:20.920
<v Speaker 5>more real. But sometimes real doesn't always work.

2068
02:01:21.640 --> 02:01:24.159
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, but that sounds like it's just overthinking. Sometimes it's

2069
02:01:24.159 --> 02:01:24.880
<v Speaker 9>just overthinking.

2070
02:01:25.199 --> 02:01:25.399
<v Speaker 3>You're not.

2071
02:01:25.560 --> 02:01:28.119
<v Speaker 5>I'm not overthinking because if I IF I IF I,

2072
02:01:28.119 --> 02:01:30.479
<v Speaker 5>if I'm saying this to my if I'm talking to

2073
02:01:30.479 --> 02:01:32.800
<v Speaker 5>my kids, I just have to be mindful of how

2074
02:01:32.840 --> 02:01:35.840
<v Speaker 5>I say things sometimes because sometimes because I guess my voice,

2075
02:01:35.880 --> 02:01:37.680
<v Speaker 5>you know, my voice is more of a booming voice

2076
02:01:37.680 --> 02:01:40.119
<v Speaker 5>than my wife is. They're used to my wife being

2077
02:01:40.159 --> 02:01:43.520
<v Speaker 5>more of a of a loud talker, where I've always

2078
02:01:43.560 --> 02:01:46.600
<v Speaker 5>been calmer. So when of me being calmer, the moment

2079
02:01:46.640 --> 02:01:50.039
<v Speaker 5>I go up above the calmness, it kind of scares

2080
02:01:50.079 --> 02:01:51.960
<v Speaker 5>them because they're like, oh, my goodness, like he's really

2081
02:01:52.000 --> 02:01:55.319
<v Speaker 5>mad and they don't, I know, and it's nothing I'm

2082
02:01:55.319 --> 02:01:57.880
<v Speaker 5>over thinking. I'm just saying it's just a reality. I

2083
02:01:57.920 --> 02:02:00.800
<v Speaker 5>don't agree with it, but I have to learn to

2084
02:02:00.960 --> 02:02:03.199
<v Speaker 5>accept it because no matter what I do.

2085
02:02:03.840 --> 02:02:04.720
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing wrong with that.

2086
02:02:04.840 --> 02:02:07.880
<v Speaker 9>I don't think sometimes there's no different with me where

2087
02:02:08.000 --> 02:02:10.079
<v Speaker 9>if I can't, if I have to raise my voice,

2088
02:02:10.840 --> 02:02:15.239
<v Speaker 9>then there is you know. Sometimes, yes, Mom, I was

2089
02:02:15.239 --> 02:02:17.039
<v Speaker 9>wondering when we said your wife said yellow, I was

2090
02:02:17.079 --> 02:02:18.640
<v Speaker 9>thinking it's talking about her color.

2091
02:02:18.560 --> 02:02:20.880
<v Speaker 4>But now I have yellow.

2092
02:02:20.920 --> 02:02:25.000
<v Speaker 5>Like I mean, like, she's from the South, She's from Alabama,

2093
02:02:25.119 --> 02:02:28.279
<v Speaker 5>so they yeah, she's like I call it a southern firecracker.

2094
02:02:28.359 --> 02:02:31.199
<v Speaker 5>She just you know, when she gets emotional, she gets

2095
02:02:31.439 --> 02:02:34.640
<v Speaker 5>she just goes up there quickly. Yeah, you know, she

2096
02:02:34.840 --> 02:02:37.640
<v Speaker 5>just goes there quickly. And they're used to that. But

2097
02:02:37.720 --> 02:02:39.119
<v Speaker 5>when I do it, they're not used to that. So

2098
02:02:39.159 --> 02:02:41.359
<v Speaker 5>they're like, oh my goodness, something's wrong. So then they

2099
02:02:41.439 --> 02:02:44.039
<v Speaker 5>kind of, you know, like like what did I do wrong?

2100
02:02:44.039 --> 02:02:46.920
<v Speaker 5>They get very defensive. And my point is and the

2101
02:02:46.960 --> 02:02:48.600
<v Speaker 5>same thing goes with like with my wife and I

2102
02:02:48.680 --> 02:02:52.039
<v Speaker 5>talking to each other. I just think that you have

2103
02:02:52.119 --> 02:02:54.560
<v Speaker 5>to know the like I know, my wife is a

2104
02:02:54.600 --> 02:02:57.560
<v Speaker 5>certain way, so even when she may be going in

2105
02:02:57.600 --> 02:03:00.159
<v Speaker 5>that mode, I have to just be mindful of it

2106
02:03:00.159 --> 02:03:02.600
<v Speaker 5>and thinking to myself, Okay, she's going to that place,

2107
02:03:03.560 --> 02:03:06.199
<v Speaker 5>how can I get it back down? So that we

2108
02:03:06.239 --> 02:03:09.439
<v Speaker 5>can have a conversation like it's like Mark was saying,

2109
02:03:09.439 --> 02:03:11.319
<v Speaker 5>it's not about winning. Sometimes you have to take the

2110
02:03:11.520 --> 02:03:13.119
<v Speaker 5>l to get the win.

2111
02:03:15.079 --> 02:03:16.880
<v Speaker 9>I think it's just been like that for years, where

2112
02:03:16.880 --> 02:03:18.920
<v Speaker 9>the father has been a bit more authoritative.

2113
02:03:19.119 --> 02:03:19.359
<v Speaker 1>You know.

2114
02:03:19.520 --> 02:03:21.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, you said.

2115
02:03:21.680 --> 02:03:23.680
<v Speaker 5>We were just trying to give men an idea of

2116
02:03:23.720 --> 02:03:27.920
<v Speaker 5>what they can how they can can can because what

2117
02:03:28.039 --> 02:03:30.279
<v Speaker 5>Mark was saying about, you know, sometimes men always want

2118
02:03:30.279 --> 02:03:31.920
<v Speaker 5>to win, like we have to be on top. We

2119
02:03:31.920 --> 02:03:34.560
<v Speaker 5>always have to win, win, win, and it's not always

2120
02:03:34.640 --> 02:03:36.760
<v Speaker 5>it's not always the case. I don't think it's always

2121
02:03:36.800 --> 02:03:40.680
<v Speaker 5>about winning. You win by doing the right thing. Sometimes

2122
02:03:40.720 --> 02:03:43.600
<v Speaker 5>it's not always winning by because I'm the man of

2123
02:03:43.600 --> 02:03:43.960
<v Speaker 5>the house.

2124
02:03:44.079 --> 02:03:45.199
<v Speaker 4>That's what That's pretty much.

2125
02:03:45.079 --> 02:03:47.239
<v Speaker 1>What, Yeah, I understand.

2126
02:03:47.560 --> 02:03:52.239
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I'd like to say something about what we can do.

2127
02:03:53.000 --> 02:03:55.079
<v Speaker 6>And one of the things that came to mind while

2128
02:03:55.479 --> 02:03:59.479
<v Speaker 6>Mark was speaking is the word compassion. I think we

2129
02:03:59.560 --> 02:04:03.439
<v Speaker 6>need to have compassion with each other for the genders,

2130
02:04:04.119 --> 02:04:08.880
<v Speaker 6>and maybe it may come across as been soft, but

2131
02:04:09.079 --> 02:04:11.640
<v Speaker 6>all of us, all of us, both men and women,

2132
02:04:12.319 --> 02:04:15.479
<v Speaker 6>we have been damaged in some way, shape or form.

2133
02:04:15.880 --> 02:04:19.960
<v Speaker 6>We all have traumas that we are overcoming, and we

2134
02:04:20.000 --> 02:04:23.079
<v Speaker 6>can be triggered at any point in time, and all

2135
02:04:23.119 --> 02:04:27.760
<v Speaker 6>of us have ways. Paul use the mark, use the

2136
02:04:27.840 --> 02:04:32.039
<v Speaker 6>term mask, but I think that it's just a way

2137
02:04:32.199 --> 02:04:38.720
<v Speaker 6>of managing what we have to deal with inside. And unfortunately,

2138
02:04:38.800 --> 02:04:42.000
<v Speaker 6>we can't see inside the person. We can't see beyond

2139
02:04:42.359 --> 02:04:46.159
<v Speaker 6>what they are displaying in terms of their words and

2140
02:04:46.199 --> 02:04:49.920
<v Speaker 6>their actions. And if we begin to understand that we

2141
02:04:50.000 --> 02:04:53.520
<v Speaker 6>are all, well the Bible, we're all sinners, but we

2142
02:04:53.640 --> 02:05:02.199
<v Speaker 6>are all we're hurting creatures. And when we begin I

2143
02:05:02.399 --> 02:05:05.159
<v Speaker 6>have a term that I use, and I tell people

2144
02:05:05.199 --> 02:05:08.680
<v Speaker 6>that we must try and look beyond the presenting behavior

2145
02:05:09.880 --> 02:05:17.239
<v Speaker 6>and get to see because behind every action is an

2146
02:05:17.279 --> 02:05:21.560
<v Speaker 6>emotion or feeling or you know, and behind that is

2147
02:05:21.600 --> 02:05:25.520
<v Speaker 6>a need. And when we begin to have compassion for

2148
02:05:25.680 --> 02:05:29.159
<v Speaker 6>one another and to have love for one another, I

2149
02:05:29.239 --> 02:05:33.479
<v Speaker 6>tell people who are looking for spouses, you know, whether

2150
02:05:33.600 --> 02:05:36.359
<v Speaker 6>men or women, you need to begin to love them.

2151
02:05:37.159 --> 02:05:39.079
<v Speaker 6>And I when I say love men, I'm not necessarily

2152
02:05:39.199 --> 02:05:43.159
<v Speaker 6>meaning that you should love them as romantic partners or

2153
02:05:43.199 --> 02:05:46.680
<v Speaker 6>any such thing, but begin to love them as human beings.

2154
02:05:47.479 --> 02:05:51.279
<v Speaker 6>You begin to try to think about what makes this

2155
02:05:51.439 --> 02:05:58.960
<v Speaker 6>person thick just necessarily respond orde or evaluate the person

2156
02:05:59.039 --> 02:06:04.199
<v Speaker 6>by one interaction with that person. You know, I actually

2157
02:06:04.279 --> 02:06:07.159
<v Speaker 6>tell people that the first date you go on is

2158
02:06:07.199 --> 02:06:09.479
<v Speaker 6>not the date that you need to make the decision

2159
02:06:10.199 --> 02:06:13.640
<v Speaker 6>about whether or not this person is the right person

2160
02:06:13.680 --> 02:06:16.840
<v Speaker 6>for you. You need actually maybe two to three dates

2161
02:06:17.239 --> 02:06:22.319
<v Speaker 6>in order to begin to evaluate other aspects of the

2162
02:06:22.359 --> 02:06:25.760
<v Speaker 6>person other than what you first saw. And I think

2163
02:06:25.760 --> 02:06:28.319
<v Speaker 6>that's what we need, you know. Ellen White has a

2164
02:06:28.399 --> 02:06:31.840
<v Speaker 6>nice quote about christ method alone. He says that the

2165
02:06:31.960 --> 02:06:35.800
<v Speaker 6>Savior mingled with men as one who desired they would.

2166
02:06:36.640 --> 02:06:39.079
<v Speaker 6>And I think we need to mingle more with each other.

2167
02:06:40.079 --> 02:06:44.479
<v Speaker 6>We need to come together well, you know, Sean if

2168
02:06:44.600 --> 02:06:48.720
<v Speaker 6>some things about that. We need to begin to interact

2169
02:06:48.800 --> 02:06:51.119
<v Speaker 6>with each other a lot more. We used to do

2170
02:06:51.199 --> 02:06:53.680
<v Speaker 6>it back in the day. Even within the churches. We

2171
02:06:53.800 --> 02:06:58.520
<v Speaker 6>used to have conventions, There were lots of youth groups.

2172
02:06:58.720 --> 02:07:05.319
<v Speaker 6>We engage with each other in terms of camps and

2173
02:07:05.359 --> 02:07:07.279
<v Speaker 6>all that. So that that was really very good. That

2174
02:07:07.319 --> 02:07:10.039
<v Speaker 6>we don't do that as much now, and we certainly

2175
02:07:10.079 --> 02:07:14.279
<v Speaker 6>don't do that as much as we get older. And

2176
02:07:14.319 --> 02:07:16.359
<v Speaker 6>I think that's one practical thing I would like to

2177
02:07:16.399 --> 02:07:21.079
<v Speaker 6>share that we need more getting together, We need more mingling.

2178
02:07:21.520 --> 02:07:24.439
<v Speaker 6>The early Church, you know, we're talking about the early

2179
02:07:24.520 --> 02:07:29.199
<v Speaker 6>Church did a lot of that eating together in each

2180
02:07:29.239 --> 02:07:33.880
<v Speaker 6>other's homes and breaking bread together. And that's how a

2181
02:07:33.960 --> 02:07:38.560
<v Speaker 6>lot of people connected and form relationships by you know,

2182
02:07:38.720 --> 02:07:40.560
<v Speaker 6>back in the day when we used to go to

2183
02:07:40.680 --> 02:07:45.960
<v Speaker 6>senior camps, a lot of people formed relationships by simply

2184
02:07:47.560 --> 02:07:52.520
<v Speaker 6>interacting integrating with each other on that level. My suggestion

2185
02:07:52.680 --> 02:07:56.800
<v Speaker 6>for people who are thinking, look, they can't see anybody

2186
02:07:56.800 --> 02:08:00.000
<v Speaker 6>in their local church is actually to find a putue

2187
02:08:00.039 --> 02:08:06.520
<v Speaker 6>unities to engage with other people outside their local church,

2188
02:08:06.760 --> 02:08:11.640
<v Speaker 6>in community activities, in church activities beyond the scope of

2189
02:08:12.199 --> 02:08:18.199
<v Speaker 6>the current churches that they're in. Another thing that people

2190
02:08:18.279 --> 02:08:21.560
<v Speaker 6>can do is you don't have to do it alone.

2191
02:08:21.760 --> 02:08:23.520
<v Speaker 6>You know, if you're looking for someone, you don't have

2192
02:08:23.560 --> 02:08:27.439
<v Speaker 6>to do it alone. You could you could ask for help.

2193
02:08:27.920 --> 02:08:30.760
<v Speaker 6>You could ask for recommendation. If it's at a bit

2194
02:08:30.880 --> 02:08:34.119
<v Speaker 6>strange and people may think, oh my god. You know,

2195
02:08:34.159 --> 02:08:36.199
<v Speaker 6>I can't tell someone that I'm looking for a man

2196
02:08:36.279 --> 02:08:38.680
<v Speaker 6>or I'm looking for no but you could say, well, look,

2197
02:08:38.840 --> 02:08:43.079
<v Speaker 6>I'm looking to settle down and you know, I don't

2198
02:08:43.119 --> 02:08:46.439
<v Speaker 6>know if you if this is if it's possible that

2199
02:08:46.720 --> 02:08:49.600
<v Speaker 6>you know, you know someone who with who may fit

2200
02:08:49.640 --> 02:08:53.159
<v Speaker 6>the bill. And there are times when many people would say, oh,

2201
02:08:53.279 --> 02:08:56.239
<v Speaker 6>you know why you're not married. Well, a good question

2202
02:08:56.359 --> 02:08:59.680
<v Speaker 6>to ask, well, do you have any recommendations? Who would

2203
02:08:59.680 --> 02:09:04.159
<v Speaker 6>do you commend? And I think those are some ideas.

2204
02:09:04.159 --> 02:09:06.800
<v Speaker 6>Of course, you can go on dating apps, and there's

2205
02:09:06.840 --> 02:09:09.920
<v Speaker 6>some adventists Christian dating apps that you can go on

2206
02:09:10.640 --> 02:09:14.079
<v Speaker 6>in Christian sides. But I think that we should start

2207
02:09:14.159 --> 02:09:17.640
<v Speaker 6>supporting the singles, the younger people, even the people of

2208
02:09:17.720 --> 02:09:25.279
<v Speaker 6>our generation that are looking for relationship because it's a

2209
02:09:25.319 --> 02:09:28.600
<v Speaker 6>lonely world out there. There are many of us, there's

2210
02:09:28.680 --> 02:09:30.960
<v Speaker 6>never been. There are lots of people, but people are

2211
02:09:31.000 --> 02:09:35.359
<v Speaker 6>lonely and people are struggling in this area. And I

2212
02:09:35.399 --> 02:09:41.000
<v Speaker 6>think as the church and individuals, we as much as

2213
02:09:41.039 --> 02:09:45.760
<v Speaker 6>lizing of our power, can introduce people to other people

2214
02:09:46.319 --> 02:09:51.960
<v Speaker 6>and can foster an environment where people can connect and

2215
02:09:52.159 --> 02:09:55.520
<v Speaker 6>like something that I think it was Byron said that

2216
02:09:55.560 --> 02:09:59.880
<v Speaker 6>he used to put off dating, dating events or something

2217
02:09:59.880 --> 02:10:01.840
<v Speaker 6>like that. I don't know if it was speed dating

2218
02:10:01.960 --> 02:10:06.439
<v Speaker 6>or other types of dating. While we may or may

2219
02:10:06.439 --> 02:10:09.439
<v Speaker 6>not want to do that, I think we should have

2220
02:10:09.680 --> 02:10:14.479
<v Speaker 6>events where people come together, both married and single people

2221
02:10:14.520 --> 02:10:18.560
<v Speaker 6>come together and interact with each other and form bonds.

2222
02:10:18.640 --> 02:10:22.880
<v Speaker 6>Like Paul says that we shouldn't forsake the assembling of

2223
02:10:22.920 --> 02:10:26.079
<v Speaker 6>ourselves together as the manner of some is. And I

2224
02:10:26.119 --> 02:10:28.079
<v Speaker 6>think that's where I want to leave it. If people

2225
02:10:28.439 --> 02:10:31.600
<v Speaker 6>want to have a conversation with me, get in touch

2226
02:10:31.640 --> 02:10:34.840
<v Speaker 6>with me, and I'll be delighted to support them on

2227
02:10:34.880 --> 02:10:38.359
<v Speaker 6>their journey.

2228
02:10:39.119 --> 02:10:42.800
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean, thank you Hilton so much for that. Everybody.

2229
02:10:42.960 --> 02:10:44.920
<v Speaker 2>How would people get in contact with emailson?

2230
02:10:45.079 --> 02:10:45.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

2231
02:10:45.880 --> 02:10:48.199
<v Speaker 6>Oh yes, I do want to cy called God wants

2232
02:10:48.239 --> 02:10:52.439
<v Speaker 6>you're married dot com. You can even email me at

2233
02:10:52.479 --> 02:10:56.119
<v Speaker 6>god once you're married at gmail dot com and you

2234
02:10:56.159 --> 02:10:59.680
<v Speaker 6>can speak with Angela and Pedro and get my details.

2235
02:11:00.039 --> 02:11:02.039
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if I'm allowed to give my number out,

2236
02:11:02.159 --> 02:11:06.880
<v Speaker 6>but I'm happy to speak with anyone who have that

2237
02:11:07.000 --> 02:11:07.600
<v Speaker 6>kind of need.

2238
02:11:08.520 --> 02:11:09.359
<v Speaker 4>You moan and welcome to.

2239
02:11:11.039 --> 02:11:13.600
<v Speaker 6>All right. My number is zero seven nine zero three

2240
02:11:14.279 --> 02:11:17.600
<v Speaker 6>three one seven four to six. Again that's zero seven

2241
02:11:17.680 --> 02:11:22.760
<v Speaker 6>nine zero three three one seven four to six. And

2242
02:11:22.359 --> 02:11:25.239
<v Speaker 6>and and if you're listening and you do want some

2243
02:11:25.279 --> 02:11:27.800
<v Speaker 6>support in that area, yeah, let's talk.

2244
02:11:29.720 --> 02:11:32.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. He'll sim any other final thoughts from any

2245
02:11:32.560 --> 02:11:35.399
<v Speaker 2>of our pannels today about.

2246
02:11:35.239 --> 02:11:38.680
<v Speaker 5>Two minutes, so you got to keep it about thirty seconds each.

2247
02:11:39.960 --> 02:11:40.920
<v Speaker 3>Waits A Part two.

2248
02:11:42.439 --> 02:11:44.880
<v Speaker 5>We're definitely, We're definitely gonna we're gonna have to get

2249
02:11:44.880 --> 02:11:47.319
<v Speaker 5>back and have another part too, because just definitely could

2250
02:11:47.880 --> 02:11:49.760
<v Speaker 5>go on for another two hours for sure.

2251
02:11:50.359 --> 02:11:52.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean again.

2252
02:11:52.319 --> 02:11:54.039
<v Speaker 4>You always say, but we really are going to do

2253
02:11:54.079 --> 02:11:54.600
<v Speaker 4>it this time.

2254
02:11:54.840 --> 02:11:55.279
<v Speaker 3>There we do.

2255
02:11:55.399 --> 02:11:58.960
<v Speaker 2>I meant done that. So as we winded down, I

2256
02:11:59.000 --> 02:12:01.439
<v Speaker 2>want to thank you all for being on our show today.

2257
02:12:02.039 --> 02:12:05.359
<v Speaker 2>It's been a really interesting discussion. It's been interesting for

2258
02:12:05.399 --> 02:12:09.279
<v Speaker 2>me to hear the male perspective. And you know, Barron,

2259
02:12:09.359 --> 02:12:11.600
<v Speaker 2>you said something, actually, a lot of this it really

2260
02:12:11.640 --> 02:12:14.399
<v Speaker 2>is about us coming together because it's not no man

2261
02:12:14.439 --> 02:12:15.920
<v Speaker 2>as an island. And at the end of the day,

2262
02:12:16.119 --> 02:12:19.239
<v Speaker 2>God has created us to be, you know, a community

2263
02:12:19.399 --> 02:12:23.239
<v Speaker 2>to be together. So working together, speaking together, communicating is

2264
02:12:23.279 --> 02:12:25.279
<v Speaker 2>going to be key to a lot of these things

2265
02:12:25.359 --> 02:12:28.840
<v Speaker 2>and having really effective relationships. But ultimately, we want to

2266
02:12:28.840 --> 02:12:32.079
<v Speaker 2>give everything over to God and to guide us. And

2267
02:12:32.159 --> 02:12:34.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, the Bible is full of the principles that

2268
02:12:34.560 --> 02:12:38.479
<v Speaker 2>we can look to to create good partnerships, good relationships,

2269
02:12:38.520 --> 02:12:43.039
<v Speaker 2>good connections. So with that in mind, Nelson, would you

2270
02:12:43.079 --> 02:12:46.840
<v Speaker 2>mind praying praying for us to close and you know,

2271
02:12:47.000 --> 02:12:49.680
<v Speaker 2>for those who are who are out there seeking I

2272
02:12:49.760 --> 02:12:53.680
<v Speaker 2>pray that you will be putting your request to God.

2273
02:12:54.119 --> 02:12:56.000
<v Speaker 2>He knows what you need and knows what you want,

2274
02:12:56.560 --> 02:12:58.880
<v Speaker 2>and I pray that He will bless you with that.

2275
02:12:59.520 --> 02:13:02.000
<v Speaker 2>So my prime verstalize that would be great.

2276
02:13:02.520 --> 02:13:05.279
<v Speaker 6>All right, let's pray, Oh their father God, we thank

2277
02:13:05.319 --> 02:13:08.520
<v Speaker 6>you for the conversation that we've had and the men

2278
02:13:08.680 --> 02:13:13.000
<v Speaker 6>on this platform who have mainly possible to exchange ideas

2279
02:13:13.039 --> 02:13:16.720
<v Speaker 6>and concepts, some of which we disagree lock choms with,

2280
02:13:16.880 --> 02:13:19.840
<v Speaker 6>but many of us see that there is a greater

2281
02:13:20.039 --> 02:13:24.239
<v Speaker 6>need both within our community or society, or the men

2282
02:13:24.359 --> 02:13:27.479
<v Speaker 6>and the women. And we know that you are very

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02:13:27.600 --> 02:13:32.680
<v Speaker 6>much aware of the challenges that we have, the issues

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02:13:32.760 --> 02:13:37.159
<v Speaker 6>that are going down and each individual here, those of

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02:13:37.239 --> 02:13:39.399
<v Speaker 6>us who are married, we ask you, Lord, to that

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02:13:39.479 --> 02:13:43.920
<v Speaker 6>you will divinely help us as we try to raise children,

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02:13:44.760 --> 02:13:47.439
<v Speaker 6>minister to each other's need, and those who are not

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02:13:48.319 --> 02:13:50.199
<v Speaker 6>who we ask you, Lord, that you would give them

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02:13:50.199 --> 02:13:53.239
<v Speaker 6>the desires of your heart. And it is quite a challenge.

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02:13:53.279 --> 02:13:56.800
<v Speaker 6>It's quite a challenge. As a mark indicated that there

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02:13:56.800 --> 02:14:01.359
<v Speaker 6>are many of us who are hurting and eat level

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02:14:01.960 --> 02:14:05.119
<v Speaker 6>and we wear a mask and when we get triggered,

2293
02:14:05.159 --> 02:14:07.279
<v Speaker 6>we don't know how to regulate that Preyer that the

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02:14:07.319 --> 02:14:13.520
<v Speaker 6>Holy Spirit would move through and be with each person

2295
02:14:13.600 --> 02:14:17.479
<v Speaker 6>where they're at and empower them to rise above the

2296
02:14:18.640 --> 02:14:23.159
<v Speaker 6>base man and become more loving and tolerable. Help us

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02:14:23.239 --> 02:14:26.359
<v Speaker 6>to have compassion, Help us to have the love even

2298
02:14:26.439 --> 02:14:31.960
<v Speaker 6>when we get a response from someone that that jolds us,

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02:14:32.000 --> 02:14:36.039
<v Speaker 6>that that robs us the wrong way, May we have

2300
02:14:36.239 --> 02:14:40.039
<v Speaker 6>the love that Christ has and that looks beyond the

2301
02:14:40.399 --> 02:14:45.439
<v Speaker 6>presenting behavior and respond in love. Bless This radio show

2302
02:14:45.560 --> 02:14:52.439
<v Speaker 6>may continue to minister to people across the internet, across

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02:14:52.520 --> 02:14:56.600
<v Speaker 6>the radio and may Angela and the other host, Petro

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02:14:56.760 --> 02:15:01.920
<v Speaker 6>and all the others, May they continue and to give

2305
02:15:02.000 --> 02:15:04.279
<v Speaker 6>up themselves and their talents to help out us in

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02:15:04.359 --> 02:15:08.119
<v Speaker 6>Jesus' name. Amen, people, thank.

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<v Speaker 2>You so much, and once again I want to thank

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02:15:09.520 --> 02:15:14.039
<v Speaker 2>all of you Sean Coletchi Byron Mark and Hilton for

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02:15:14.119 --> 02:15:16.800
<v Speaker 2>being on our show today. Definitely, as the Petro said,

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<v Speaker 2>we will have a part two. We'd love to have

2311
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<v Speaker 2>you back on again to share your thoughts. You've been

2312
02:15:21.359 --> 02:15:24.520
<v Speaker 2>listening to Talking Point, It's been an interesting one and

2313
02:15:24.520 --> 02:15:27.239
<v Speaker 2>we come to the end of our Men's month. We're

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02:15:27.239 --> 02:15:29.880
<v Speaker 2>winding down towards the end of the year, so we'll

2315
02:15:29.880 --> 02:15:31.600
<v Speaker 2>be doing a bit of a recap a few shows,

2316
02:15:31.680 --> 02:15:33.760
<v Speaker 2>maybe about looking back at some of the shows that

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02:15:33.760 --> 02:15:36.960
<v Speaker 2>we've done. I've had some really interesting conversations with people,

2318
02:15:37.039 --> 02:15:39.439
<v Speaker 2>have some interesting stories. So I hope you'll stick with

2319
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<v Speaker 2>Talking Point, and I pray that you will all have

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02:15:42.439 --> 02:15:46.119
<v Speaker 2>a rest, good rest of the evening and blessings for

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<v Speaker 2>the weak ahead. It's been Talking Point. I'll see you again,

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<v Speaker 2>Adventist Radio, London.

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<v Speaker 1>Inspiration for the song