WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:04.160 Baby on my game statue. It takes a little tangle. 2 00:00:04.759 --> 00:00:07.799 You don't want to mess with me, mess with me baby, 3 00:00:07.879 --> 00:00:16.440 I'm my gangstatu puch baby game statue. 4 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:26.800 For good warning, this podcast is designed to take you 5 00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.800 outside of your comfort zone and make you question reality. 6 00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:44.200 Listener Discretion is a vibe. 7 00:00:38.280 --> 00:00:39.640 Talk with me, fellas. 8 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:44.079 This ain't my first time at the rodeos. 9 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:02.320 Hello and welcome, come back to the I can show. 10 00:01:04.439 --> 00:01:07.840 I'm gonna open us up with a little something different today. 11 00:01:09.400 --> 00:01:12.719 It is Saturday, May second. Hopefully I can get this 12 00:01:12.840 --> 00:01:18.280 posted by tonight or tomorrow, but it is officially May, 13 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:25.079 and that means it's Mother's Day month, and we got 14 00:01:25.200 --> 00:01:28.159 some stuff we can talk about with that, just real quick. 15 00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:36.200 But the last few days heading into May, and I 16 00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:39.200 know you guys are gonna say, wow, this is really 17 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:43.719 unlike you, but it has to be said. I was 18 00:01:44.680 --> 00:01:52.359 and still am just feeling on fucking edge. Every little 19 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:59.439 thing was pissing me off, and every little thing was 20 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:05.159 just setting me into a fucking nervous breakdown. And that's 21 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:12.599 actually not really like me because having a seven month 22 00:02:12.639 --> 00:02:17.120 old baby who's just learning to stand and getting into 23 00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:28.280 stuff and putting himself in dire jeopardy every thirty seconds. 24 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:32.680 You would think, you know, I'd be losing my cool, 25 00:02:32.719 --> 00:02:36.479 but I'm not. These last few days though, it's not 26 00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:40.039 even him, it's everything, everything I touch it. It's like, why 27 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:43.319 the fuck was this designed this way? I fucking hate it. 28 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:49.120 I'm throwing it away, like the TV remote anything. Everything 29 00:02:50.599 --> 00:02:57.560 was pissing me off, and I'd be scrolling, scrolling, scrolling 30 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:00.879 on all the social medias and this post popped up 31 00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:05.280 and I was like, ah, wait a second. And I'm 32 00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:09.879 not one to get on board with the astrologies or 33 00:03:11.199 --> 00:03:16.560 the retrofuge or the venus backwards, but this got my eye. 34 00:03:17.240 --> 00:03:22.039 Just wanted to share it with you. It says full 35 00:03:22.120 --> 00:03:26.400 moon in Scorpio May first through the second. This one 36 00:03:26.520 --> 00:03:31.199 goes deep. Do you guys feel it? And it says 37 00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:35.039 every year around this time we meet one of the 38 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:38.159 most intense full moons of the year. 39 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:39.719 And you can. 40 00:03:39.639 --> 00:03:46.360 Probably feel it already, Emotions rising, old wounds getting triggered. 41 00:03:46.919 --> 00:03:47.800 I hate that word. 42 00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:55.639 Reactions stronger than usual. This is not just another full moon. 43 00:03:56.039 --> 00:04:00.840 This is full moon in Scorpio. We can't go deeper 44 00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:05.520 than that. And it says, what is this full moon about? 45 00:04:06.039 --> 00:04:12.199 Scorpio is ruled by transformation, depth and truth. It brings 46 00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:18.839 up what we usually avoid, hidden emotions, jealousy, control, possessiveness, 47 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:29.680 past wounds, trauma, resentment, grudges, power dynamics, endings, letting go, life, death, 48 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:35.399 rebirth cycles. This is the sign that says, look at 49 00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:42.680 what's uncomfortable, because that's where the truth is full. Moons illuminate, 50 00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:48.439 and so I'm not one to put blue marangu taint 51 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:52.079 rub on or any of that stuff. You know this 52 00:04:52.680 --> 00:04:58.839 about me, but there are certain aspects of spirituality that 53 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:03.600 I of course agree with, always have. I don't know 54 00:05:03.639 --> 00:05:06.000 what the moon is, but I do know that it 55 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:12.000 has an emotional influence on human beings. And as a woman, 56 00:05:12.759 --> 00:05:16.000 your cycle is supposed to line up with the moon 57 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:16.759 and shit like that. 58 00:05:16.920 --> 00:05:17.399 I don't know. 59 00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:21.319 Mine's never been right. Maybe the moon doesn't like me, 60 00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:27.519 or maybe I've been pharmaceutically damaged, probably the latter, Thank 61 00:05:27.560 --> 00:05:35.680 you guard to sell, among other things. But yeah, I 62 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:38.360 just was wondering if anybody else was feeling a little 63 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:45.680 bit on edge emotions messed up big time, And it 64 00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:49.800 can't only be me, because obviously whoever made that post 65 00:05:50.600 --> 00:05:58.480 is probably feeling some intense emotions as well. But yeah, 66 00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:02.120 hopefully this subside because this is not a type of 67 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:05.560 attitude to want to be in for long, I can 68 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:09.000 tell you that. But we got a lot of fun 69 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:12.560 stuff to talk about today. It is the month of 70 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:16.879 Mother's Day, and because I post erratically, I don't know 71 00:06:16.920 --> 00:06:20.360 if I'm going to get to say Happy Mother's Stay 72 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:23.319 right on the day, so I just wanted to say 73 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:27.800 it now. By the time this rolls out for the 74 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:30.839 free feed, it'll probably be closer to Mother's Day. So 75 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:36.759 all you ladies out there, mothers who listen to the show, 76 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:41.759 Happy Mother's Stay. This is my first Mother's Day as 77 00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:45.480 an actual mother, and it's the first Mother's Day I 78 00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:48.519 feel like I'm actually going to get to enjoy. Because 79 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:52.319 for those of you who are longtime listeners, you already 80 00:06:52.360 --> 00:06:56.199 know this. But my mom passed away in twenty seventeen, 81 00:06:56.959 --> 00:07:01.800 and we were best friends. She was my soulmate, if 82 00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:07.800 you will. We were thinkett thieves, best friends, ride or die, 83 00:07:08.600 --> 00:07:13.279 and she passed away and I could never enjoy Mother's 84 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:17.639 Day after that. It was a source of some real 85 00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:22.079 suffering every time it ran around. But this year's different. 86 00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:24.800 This year I get to claim it as my own, 87 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:28.600 and while I wish she was here and I know 88 00:07:28.720 --> 00:07:31.720 that she is looking out for me and my baby, 89 00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:35.839 I get to enjoy it as being a mother myself, 90 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:39.439 which is really cool. I feel like I should buy 91 00:07:39.480 --> 00:07:43.560 myself a present. You know, the most toxic saying on earth, 92 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:50.319 go treat yourself. But I might just do that. It 93 00:07:50.439 --> 00:07:54.600 is a cause for celebration, especially all you single moms 94 00:07:54.600 --> 00:08:00.319 out there. I see you, I fucking see you, and. 95 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:01.360 Happy Mother's Day. 96 00:08:02.680 --> 00:08:06.480 It did occur to me though, as I was thinking about, 97 00:08:06.560 --> 00:08:09.600 Oh Mother's Day, and you know, I can't wait till 98 00:08:10.040 --> 00:08:12.360 my baby's older and he can comprehend it. 99 00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:13.279 Maybe he'll make me. 100 00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:17.360 A little craft out of a styrofoam cup or something 101 00:08:17.480 --> 00:08:22.720 that's the sweetest thing ever, some little homemade craft for 102 00:08:22.839 --> 00:08:25.439 Mother's Day. I'll cherish it and keep it forever. I 103 00:08:25.560 --> 00:08:29.319 used to do stuff like that, But it occurred to 104 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:32.639 me how many things I did as a kid just. 105 00:08:32.840 --> 00:08:35.480 To make my mom happy. 106 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:38.799 And I hope I don't do that with my own son, 107 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:45.440 but inevitably it'll probably happen, because if he's anything like me, 108 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:49.039 I just wanted to make my mom happy at all costs. 109 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:55.480 Here's an example, I was a full blown adult when 110 00:08:55.559 --> 00:08:59.720 I realized that I don't have to eat the peel 111 00:09:00.759 --> 00:09:04.879 of a baked potato just because I'm having a baked potato. 112 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:08.039 That was something my mom wanted me to do when 113 00:09:08.039 --> 00:09:11.600 I was little, and I did it just to make 114 00:09:11.639 --> 00:09:17.080 her happy. But I gagged that bitch down. Okay, we 115 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:20.759 used to roll through Wendy's. All the other kids are 116 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:29.200 getting chicken nuggets, little cheese, burger ketchup. Only No, my 117 00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:34.759 mom would get us cheddar bacon sometimes, and I didn't 118 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:41.840 enjoy this as a kid, cheddar broccoli, baked potato at Wendy's. 119 00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:45.000 As an adult, I met people who didn't even know 120 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:49.200 the baked potato option was a thing at Wendy's because 121 00:09:49.240 --> 00:09:52.480 their mom was getting chicken nuggets, their mom was getting 122 00:09:52.519 --> 00:09:53.679 French fries. 123 00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:55.799 Not my mom. 124 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:59.399 No, We'd roll up at the Windy's, get a cheddar 125 00:09:59.440 --> 00:10:05.240 bacon loaded baked potato, and asided chili. That was my 126 00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:12.200 Wendy's experience until I was an a dope. Okay, I 127 00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:16.879 didn't even know Wendy's had other things. Anytime anybody said 128 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:18.960 you want something from Wendy's, I'd be like, I really 129 00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:22.480 don't want a baked potato right now? That just does 130 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:26.039 not sound good. It is the middle of summer, it's 131 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:29.600 a thousand degrees outside. I really don't want chili or 132 00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:33.279 a baked potato. But she would say, I'd get done 133 00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:37.840 eating all the guts right, all the deliciousness of the 134 00:10:37.960 --> 00:10:43.559 synthetic gas plastic as melted cheese and baco bits or 135 00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:47.960 whatever they put on the Wendy's baked potato, little sour 136 00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:52.519 cream that had a horrible after flavor, and you know, 137 00:10:52.559 --> 00:10:54.440 I'd get to the end and I'd be looking at 138 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:57.759 her like, is she gonna say it? Oh God, please, 139 00:10:58.080 --> 00:11:00.360 Maybe this time she won't say it. And she would 140 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:03.840 every time she'd say, you better eat that peel. That's 141 00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:08.080 where all the nutrients is. And I'd say, Mom, you know, 142 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:10.240 I really don't want to eat the peel, and she said, 143 00:11:10.279 --> 00:11:15.039 that's where all the new treance is. You're gonna eat 144 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:20.600 that peel. So I'd sit there, I'd choke that shit down, 145 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:24.480 I'd gag it down, I'd cut that bitch up. She'd say, 146 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:27.120 when you're older, you learn you just cut the peel 147 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:29.399 up as you eat the potatoes, so that way you 148 00:11:29.440 --> 00:11:31.279 don't have to just sit there and eat a peel, 149 00:11:32.039 --> 00:11:37.200 and I would every time dodge the peel until the 150 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:41.279 very end. I thought I was the only one, though, 151 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:45.559 who did stuff like that to make their mom happy. 152 00:11:45.639 --> 00:11:48.200 And then as an adult you realize like, oh, I 153 00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:50.639 don't have to eat the peel if I don't want to. 154 00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:52.559 And guess what, I don't want to. And when I 155 00:11:52.759 --> 00:11:58.000 make mashed potatoes, I grind those fucking peels up in 156 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:06.440 the garbage disposal after I'm thoroughly peeling all the skin off. 157 00:12:06.279 --> 00:12:06.840 Of that bitch. 158 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:10.600 And yeah, maybe it's loaded with nutrients. I take liver supplements. 159 00:12:10.759 --> 00:12:11.240 I'm good. 160 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:17.159 I don't need to eat the potato beeal. But my 161 00:12:17.799 --> 00:12:25.000 first husband, God, my life sucks. My first husband also 162 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:27.759 did this. When I caught him one day, we went 163 00:12:27.799 --> 00:12:31.639 through the drive through somewhere fast food place, McDonald's or 164 00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:35.440 Taco Bell, whatever, and he ordered his food with a 165 00:12:35.559 --> 00:12:37.759 sprite and he was sitting there eating his food and 166 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:39.360 he took a big sip of the sprite and he 167 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:43.159 was like ugh, And I said, oh, is it flat? 168 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:47.600 He goes, No, I just don't really like sprite. And 169 00:12:47.639 --> 00:12:50.399 I said, why did you get they have other stuff 170 00:12:50.559 --> 00:12:54.399 other stuffed in sprite? Why did you get spray if 171 00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:55.080 you don't like it? 172 00:12:55.159 --> 00:12:55.360 Oh? 173 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:58.399 You know, my dad, every time we would go through 174 00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:00.360 the drive through, he always got me a spread. He 175 00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:02.720 never even asked. He just always would order me a 176 00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:07.679 sprite with whatever. And I said, you know, as an adult, 177 00:13:08.759 --> 00:13:14.200 you can order the roupyr, the coke, the pepsi, whatever. 178 00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:21.159 You don't have to get the sprite. And he thought 179 00:13:21.159 --> 00:13:22.639 about it for a second and he was like, I 180 00:13:22.759 --> 00:13:24.840 just you know, I don't know. I just when they 181 00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:26.879 asked what I want to drink, I just say sprite. 182 00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:32.080 It just comes out subconscious programming. Our parents do it 183 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:36.240 to us, the government does it to us. School systems 184 00:13:36.279 --> 00:13:40.559 do it to us. We grow up with a system 185 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:44.720 of indoctrination from one way or the other, even from 186 00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:48.720 people we love. And I'm here to tell you, as 187 00:13:48.759 --> 00:13:54.600 an adult, it's time to step back, take inventory of 188 00:13:54.759 --> 00:14:00.440 your life. Are their habits that you, yes, you do 189 00:14:00.759 --> 00:14:03.600 on a daily basis or every now and again, that 190 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:06.200 you actually don't know where it comes from? 191 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:09.759 How did I find out I don't have. 192 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:13.519 To eat the pela the potato even though I'm sitting 193 00:14:13.519 --> 00:14:16.759 there grown ass Because I went to Wendy's with one 194 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:22.080 of my friends and I was like, I'm going to 195 00:14:22.159 --> 00:14:24.480 run to the bathroom really quick. Can you just order 196 00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:26.000 for me? And she was like, yeah, what do you want? 197 00:14:26.039 --> 00:14:30.039 And I said cheddar bacon, baked potato, and aside of 198 00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:34.799 the chili, and she said, oh really, oh okay, well yeah, 199 00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:39.200 all right. She got something delicious like some kind of 200 00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:44.759 strawberry walnut salad and she got a frosty and fries. 201 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:49.240 Probably canceled out the salad, but whatever. And she was 202 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:52.159 sitting there eating a delicious meal right in front of me. 203 00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:54.879 I had this potato and I started choking this fucking 204 00:14:54.919 --> 00:14:55.440 peel down. 205 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:57.360 She was like, that's really gross. Why do you do that? 206 00:14:58.480 --> 00:14:59.480 And I was like, that's where. 207 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:04.080 All the neutrae in the peel and she was like, well, 208 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.159 if you don't like it, why are you? And it 209 00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:08.960 just like things that we do, we don't even notice 210 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:12.120 that we do, like eat the fucking peel of a 211 00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:14.679 potato when you don't want it, order a sprite when 212 00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:19.000 you hate sprite. But I'm so grateful for my mom. 213 00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:22.320 You guys, she was the funnest, coolest mom of all time. 214 00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:28.480 Potato peel be damned. She I mean, we used to 215 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:32.720 make homemade pizzas like from scratch. She got this little 216 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:37.000 chef boyardy pizza maker kit It was the funnest Friday 217 00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:41.919 night you've ever spent. We'd watch scary movies all night 218 00:15:42.120 --> 00:15:45.159 and she would light these little candles all over the house. 219 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:46.559 It was just cozy. 220 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:51.639 As an adult woman, you find out how important a 221 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:56.840 skill it is to be able to make a home cozy, 222 00:15:57.600 --> 00:16:00.320 like what your mom used to do for you. Maybe 223 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:03.559 your mom didn't do that, and I'm so fucking sorry 224 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:05.679 that you didn't grow up in a cozy home. 225 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:10.720 It is my mission in life as. 226 00:16:10.519 --> 00:16:14.399 An adult female, to make whatever space I'm living in 227 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:19.759 as cozy as I possibly can, because it's just, you know, 228 00:16:20.519 --> 00:16:24.120 you catch a whiff of something, it takes you straight 229 00:16:24.159 --> 00:16:28.080 back in your mind to a memory and coziness and 230 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:32.840 like warm scented candles and all these things. They take 231 00:16:32.919 --> 00:16:36.759 me straight back to a sweeter time, and I hope 232 00:16:36.759 --> 00:16:38.960 to create that for my child. 233 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.480 We're not doing. There's this whole thing that started at 234 00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:44.159 some point. 235 00:16:44.279 --> 00:16:46.480 I think I was in like high school, because my 236 00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:49.240 sister bought a new house and I noticed how horrific 237 00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:55.320 it was. They started painting everything white. Everything's white, the 238 00:16:55.399 --> 00:17:00.039 kitchen's white, with white cabinets and white tiles on the 239 00:16:59.879 --> 00:17:05.960 floor and no carpeting, and everything is just white, white bathrooms. 240 00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:10.880 You go to order kids toys now, if the if 241 00:17:10.920 --> 00:17:14.680 they can make it white, they will, or gray or 242 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:21.960 gray's or some form. They've like, they've like sucked color 243 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.720 all the cars at some point they were just like, 244 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:29.559 we don't make cars with color anymore. You get gray, black, white, 245 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:33.759 or some form of beige. That's what you get. And 246 00:17:34.119 --> 00:17:42.240 if you look at any establishment, everything's bricked white, gray, beige, black. 247 00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:47.960 They've literally sucked color out of life. I don't know 248 00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:51.440 if anybody else has noticed that, but as you can 249 00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:55.480 tell from my lovely home in the background, fuck that nonsense. 250 00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:58.720 I don't know who the fuck wants to fucking live 251 00:17:59.319 --> 00:18:04.160 and how that looks like a dentist's office, but not me. 252 00:18:05.599 --> 00:18:08.039 And if I were ever to find a man who 253 00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:11.319 would accept me as I am, and what I'm going 254 00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:16.200 for is somebody who's stable, established wants to buy a 255 00:18:16.200 --> 00:18:18.720 bitch of house and take care of her kid. 256 00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:22.799 I'm not saying it's possible. 257 00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:26.319 I'm just saying, if you know there was Robin Williams 258 00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:29.799 showed up as the genie in his dead ass corpse 259 00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:32.359 form in my living room and said, you can get 260 00:18:32.359 --> 00:18:39.839 three wishes. First wish, rich guy who's mentally stable, halfway attractive, 261 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.599 wants to buy a bitch a house and take care 262 00:18:42.599 --> 00:18:46.240 of his kid. Maybe his family's got money and they 263 00:18:46.279 --> 00:18:48.680 trickled some down to him. I don't know, maybe they 264 00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:51.839 died left him a fortune. I would look for a 265 00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:59.880 house with some type of oak cabinetry, maybe some carp 266 00:19:00.359 --> 00:19:03.519 We could replace it if it's gross, but carpets. 267 00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:06.119 I got a kid. 268 00:19:06.200 --> 00:19:09.279 I don't need him running around banging his knees up 269 00:19:09.319 --> 00:19:12.359 on everything. You know. 270 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:13.160 I would like. 271 00:19:13.799 --> 00:19:18.200 Nice warm tones in the home. We're not going for 272 00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:24.240 graye We're not going for beige, white, or black or 273 00:19:24.279 --> 00:19:29.240 anything like that. I like a nice, toasty, cozy home, 274 00:19:30.119 --> 00:19:32.119 and that's what I would be looking for. I know 275 00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:36.279 a lot of women. I see it with Joanna Gaines 276 00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:40.799 or whatever name is the Magnolia home that all these 277 00:19:40.839 --> 00:19:44.640 women the dream home looks like a dentist's office. To me, 278 00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:49.240 gray marble, white cabinet tree. 279 00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:51.400 Who the fuck wants that? 280 00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:52.440 That looks ugly? 281 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:53.759 I'm sorry. 282 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:55.519 And if you have that in your home, we can 283 00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:58.720 still be friends and just disagree, you know, we can 284 00:19:58.759 --> 00:20:02.680 have a different path if you will, But anyways, I 285 00:20:02.759 --> 00:20:05.200 just want to get that out of my system real quick. 286 00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:10.319 Maybe it's this full moon that's got me impassioned, but 287 00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:13.839 it's something else I've been thinking about because of the 288 00:20:13.920 --> 00:20:17.799 topic we're going to be going over today. I wanted 289 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:21.039 to be two things when I was a child. Anytime 290 00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:23.680 a teacher would ask, I would only give one of 291 00:20:23.720 --> 00:20:29.400 these two answers. An archaeologist because I wanted to dig 292 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:35.680 up mommies in Egypt specifically, or a mortician. I wanted 293 00:20:35.720 --> 00:20:40.039 to cut up dead bodies, embalm them, put makeup on them, 294 00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:42.039 put a little hair piece on I don't know what 295 00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:48.079 they do, and work at a funeral home. And with 296 00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:53.319 the amount of SRA survivors I've discovered who say most 297 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:57.440 funeral homes and churches are wrapped up in this shit, 298 00:20:59.319 --> 00:21:03.119 it just I would it would not be something that 299 00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:05.559 would be on my radar as an adult. I'll tell 300 00:21:05.559 --> 00:21:07.440 you that right now. I went to hair school, so 301 00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:11.519 it doesn't matter. Okay, I'm trailer trash over here. But 302 00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:15.119 I had dreamed as a child, because they tell you 303 00:21:15.279 --> 00:21:19.680 can be anything with limits. I wanted to be an 304 00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:24.559 archaeologist or a mortician, and I think it's just because 305 00:21:24.680 --> 00:21:30.039 I have a dark sense of humor. I wanted to 306 00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:33.200 dressed up dead bodies, cut them up. I have a 307 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:38.160 morbid fascination obviously look at the kind of stuff that 308 00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:41.480 we talk about. But they're like, when you really think 309 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:44.279 about the funeral home, most of the time, it's shit 310 00:21:44.359 --> 00:21:48.359 that stays in families. It's like a generational thing, and 311 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:51.359 then the sun grows up and he goes to school 312 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:55.200 and then he becomes the funeral director or the mortician, 313 00:21:55.559 --> 00:21:58.680 and the shit is generational and stays in families. That's 314 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:01.680 why when you look at a lot of funeral homes, 315 00:22:01.720 --> 00:22:08.960 it's like William's family funeral home or you know, fill 316 00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:15.559 in the blank family funeral home. And it might be 317 00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:20.640 by design that there are not a lot of outsiders 318 00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:28.640 welcomed into family run funeral homes. And I actually looked 319 00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:31.960 into what it would be for me to get a 320 00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:36.000 funeral director's license with schooling you'd have to go through, 321 00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:40.160 what training you'd have to have, and I was like, hmm, 322 00:22:40.759 --> 00:22:43.960 I'm not about that action because it said even after 323 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.359 you go through all that becoming a funeral director and 324 00:22:47.480 --> 00:22:51.039 taking all the training and the embalming and all the 325 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.880 the likelihood of you finding an open position is slim 326 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:55.599 to none. 327 00:22:56.359 --> 00:22:57.160 That's what it said. 328 00:22:57.559 --> 00:23:03.279 Because a lot of funeral homes don't really welcome in outsiders. 329 00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:07.480 It's like family business. And if you look at a 330 00:23:07.480 --> 00:23:11.920 lot of churches, it's also there are some that are 331 00:23:11.960 --> 00:23:15.799 grassroots that just anybody can become a member and start 332 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:20.000 fucking They got t shirts and shit. But if you 333 00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:26.240 look at the big weird churches like the Cathedral, ass bitches, 334 00:23:26.599 --> 00:23:30.680 a lot of those are family. And I'm not talking 335 00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:34.400 about Catholics, because you know that's they got their whole 336 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:40.160 altar boys situation and they love outsiders coming in because anyways, 337 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.000 I'm talking about these churches you pass, the First Church 338 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:49.480 of the Christian Scientist Jesus and the First Church of 339 00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:55.119 the Nazareni Savior and whatever. A lot of the times 340 00:23:55.200 --> 00:24:00.640 it's families that have for generations like could they grow 341 00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:03.240 up and then they take over and then they get 342 00:24:03.279 --> 00:24:06.440 old and fucking die and then they're and so you 343 00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:10.480 gotta think to yourself, it has to be extremely easy 344 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:14.519 for these rituals to take place. And because these families 345 00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:17.680 know about each other and for generations have worked with 346 00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:21.440 each other. So you hear about stuff and you're like, well, wow, wow, 347 00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.759 fucking how are they getting away with Like they just 348 00:24:24.839 --> 00:24:27.960 go to church, random churches and they got the stuff, 349 00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:33.759 funeral homes and all they know each other. There's connections there, okay. 350 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:39.119 And I know bt K buying torture kill Dennis Rader 351 00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:42.359 whatever the fuck his name was, he was like a 352 00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:45.119 deacon or something in the church. I mean, they look 353 00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:49.759 sometimes for these psychos to be part of this stuff, 354 00:24:51.000 --> 00:24:55.039 and it's a club. They all know each other. They 355 00:24:55.079 --> 00:24:59.599 go to out back steakhouse together and you think they're 356 00:24:59.680 --> 00:25:02.720 normal and you see him and you're. 357 00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:05.200 Like, oh, Pastor Tom and his. 358 00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:16.160 Family they're at Ruby Tuesday and they're eating croutons together. Listen, 359 00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:19.079 I don't care if Pastor Tom takes his family out 360 00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:23.440 to Ruby Tuesday and eats croutons together, they enjoy a 361 00:25:23.480 --> 00:25:24.640 little salad bar action. 362 00:25:24.759 --> 00:25:25.759 I don't give a fuck. 363 00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:32.640 These people look normal and then you find out it's 364 00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:39.359 anything but behind the scenes. But before we get into 365 00:25:39.359 --> 00:25:41.799 our topic today, it's an SA race survivor. 366 00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:42.200 I know. 367 00:25:42.279 --> 00:25:45.079 I said I'd take a break, but I can't. This 368 00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:48.480 stuff is fascinating to me. I don't know, you know 369 00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:52.160 not all of you said it, but maybe some of 370 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:54.200 you are getting tired of it. But I just am 371 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:57.720 not tired of it. It's just some of these stories 372 00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:02.400 boggle my mind and fill in a lot of blanks 373 00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:05.279 for me. But before we get right to the biscuit 374 00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:09.839 and gravy, maybe I should. Maybe That's what I'll do 375 00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:12.920 for Mother's there. I've really been craving a good biscuit 376 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:16.480 and gravy. I just take the time and make myself 377 00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:20.119 a biscuit and gravy. I could go to a restaurant, 378 00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:25.799 but I prefer homemade. Okay, we ain't doing McDonald's drive 379 00:26:25.880 --> 00:26:28.720 through biscuit and gravy up in this bitch we be 380 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:34.279 getting out bags of bisquick over here. But without further ado, 381 00:26:34.759 --> 00:26:40.720 let's get to today's apothe carry cornter. Maybe there's something 382 00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:43.200 in here to deal with how bitchy I've been with 383 00:26:43.319 --> 00:26:46.119 this full moon coming on, it feels like my period's 384 00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:56.519 coming on too. What a deadly compination. Oh boy, let's 385 00:26:56.519 --> 00:27:01.880 see here, got any cramps, Got any tank cramps? That 386 00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:07.279 sounds horrible. That sounds like it would be very un 387 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:12.160 comfortable right in the middle of your day, and you 388 00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:15.759 just get a tank cramp. Come on, how do you 389 00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:20.240 explain that to somebody? Got step aside for a second. 390 00:27:20.279 --> 00:27:28.759 My taint's cramped. All right, let's just go ooh, herbal 391 00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:35.160 self blessing wash. All right, let's see no dong or 392 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:40.720 anything in this. This sounds pretty easy. A cleansing herbal 393 00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:45.680 wash to promote self love, clarity, and spiritual renewal. This 394 00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:47.960 might go good with the full moon that's coming on. 395 00:27:48.839 --> 00:27:52.839 This ritual wash is perfect for creating a sacred space, 396 00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:57.519 grounding your energy and fostering a deep connection to your 397 00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:01.240 inter self. I would reckon them in this for the taint, 398 00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:04.039 to be honest with you, because if you put it 399 00:28:04.119 --> 00:28:07.359 on the taint, you're definitely gonna get to know yourself. 400 00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:14.240 And that's that's like straight to the dome. I would 401 00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:19.160